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Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Just read the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
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