• To keep up with the hype driven by Sword and Shield's release, we are taking applications for new moderators in our Current Events: Sword and Shield as well as Anime and Manga sections.

    For more information, see this thread.We hope you all consider joining our team!
  • We hope you're enjoying Sword and Shield so far! So that everyone can enjoy it and not be spoiled, please keep the all story spoilers and any images from the games in the appropriate sections or in spoiler tags until January 3rd.

    Since spoiler tags are not allowed in signatures, please do not put images from the games in your signature either. You can list the names of new Pokémon if you want to list your team in your signature.
  • ME finally got off his butt and has started his own LP of Platinum version. Watch the chaos unfold here.

Rate the User Above's Joke

Status
Not open for further replies.
追放されたバカ
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,179
Reaction score
4
Simplez.

Here's mine:

'My wife's a magician. She once turned my car into a tree.'
 
Ground Master
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
371
Reaction score
1
4/10 for cleverness.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why the heck do I care about a stupid chicken?

I'm hilarious.
 
needs a new avatar
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,132
Reaction score
2
1/10 for using the same joke over and over

A traveller gets attacked by native americans, but they spare him and force him to eat horse meat.
He has it as a mane course.
 
New Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2010
Messages
65
Reaction score
0
5/10 for being a play on words.

10 people are holding onto the wings of a plane. They decide that one person needs to let go or the plane will crash too fast. One makes a heroic speech and the rest all clap.
 
New Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2010
Messages
65
Reaction score
0
8/10 for people's stupidity.

Q: Pun.
A: Answer.
I don't understand that so 5/10
Three people are in a house.
One of them goes downstairs to get a glass of water.
A ghost appears and says "I am the ghost with two green eyes."
The guy runs away.
The second person goes downstairs to get a midnight snack. The same thing happens. He runs away.
The third person goes downstairs, on their way to the bathroom. The ghost appears and says "I am the ghost with two green eyes."
The man says "Shut up or you'll be the ghost with two black eyes."
 
NCIS Special Agent
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Messages
3,594
Reaction score
134
e/10

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar and each order a beer. Then three flies show up and each one falls into one of the beers.

The Englishman says, "Barkeep, there's a fly in my beer. Could you get me another one?"

The Irishman says, "Hell with it," and drinks the beer with the fly still in it.

The Scotsman fishes the fly out of his beer and shouts, "Spit it out, you bastard!"
 
needs a new avatar
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,132
Reaction score
2
I don't even know how that was a joke...:sweat:
2/10

There was a man who wanted to win the lotto, but he was so serious about it he asked God to help him win.

"Ok, but on one condition."
"What condition?"
"Figure it out."

The following week, the man found he didn't win.
"Why didn't you let me win?"
"You didn't buy a ticket."
 
New Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2010
Messages
65
Reaction score
0
e/10

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar and each order a beer. Then three flies show up and each one falls into one of the beers.

The Englishman says, "Barkeep, there's a fly in my beer. Could you get me another one?"

The Irishman says, "Hell with it," and drinks the beer with the fly still in it.

The Scotsman fishes the fly out of his beer and shouts, "Spit it out, you bastard!"
What did you rate it?

I don't even know how that was a joke...:sweat:
2/10

There was a man who wanted to win the lotto, but he was so serious about it he asked God to help him win.

"Ok, but on one condition."
"What condition?"
"Figure it out."

The following week, the man found he didn't win.
"Why didn't you let me win?"
"You didn't buy a ticket."
7/10

A man walks into a bar holding a large newt. He asks the barman "Can I have a beer, and water for tiny here"
The barman asks "Why do you call him tiny?"
The man says "Because he's my newt."
 
Unregistered Non-User
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
579
Reaction score
0
6/10

A neutron walks into a bar, and asks the bartender "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies "For you? No charge."
 
Ground Master
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
371
Reaction score
1
6/10 For science puns.

What do you give an angry bear for its birthday?
Anything it wants.
 
I won't bite... much.
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
3,819
Reaction score
10
4/10.

Chuck Norris once took a vacation to the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
 
"Equality"
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
7,166
Reaction score
0
10/10 for chuck norris and virginity.

So Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
The bar says "Ow!"
 
NCIS Special Agent
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Messages
3,594
Reaction score
134
10/10 for Chuck Norris-ness.

Sodium atom: I've lost an electron!

Chlorine atom: Are you sure?

Sodium: Yes, I'm positive!
 
needs a new avatar
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,132
Reaction score
2
9/10

A guy bought a new computer but didn't know how to set it up.
He read the manual but didn't get any help.
The only words in it were:
For more info, visit our website at http://pc.com.
Oh my god its a real site! I swear, I had no idea...
 
HAS RETURNEEEEDDD!!!!
Joined
Sep 9, 2010
Messages
1,498
Reaction score
0
4/10 ....

A duck walked into a bar one day. The duck asked the bar keeper "Got me grapes?" and the bar keeper said "No"
The next day, the duck walked into the SAME bar again and asked "Got me grapes?" The bar keep said "No! I don't have your grapes!!!"
And then the next day, the duck went into the bar again and asked "Got me grapes?" and the bar keeper said to the duck "Look, if you keep coming here and asking for grapes, I will nail you by your bill to the wall!"
So, the next day, the duck went to the bar and said "Got me nails?"
 
Perfect Nonsense
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
1,924
Reaction score
0
6/10

A man walks into a bar. The bartender tried to make a deal with him. He said that if he did three things, he would get 1,000 dollars.

First he would have to drink a glass of beer.

Then there is one of the meanest dogs chained up outside with a soar tooth, he had to pull it.

And finally, there was an old lady who had never made love before. I think you know what he had to do.

He accepted and drank the beer. He then walked outside. After the bar tender heard much screaming and yelping, the man finally walked back in, with many cuts and bruises.
"Okay.... That wasn't easy....but I did it... Now where is the Lady with the soar tooth...?"
 
needs a new avatar
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,132
Reaction score
2
4/10, I don't get it.

A toothbrush says "sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world..."

the toilet paper thinks, "Yeah right..."
 
NCIS Special Agent
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Messages
3,594
Reaction score
134
9/10, 'cause who doesn't love potty humor.

My hometown's so small, it has a fraction for a zip code.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top