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Rate the User Above's Joke

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Pidgeot

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Simplez.

Here's mine:

'My wife's a magician. She once turned my car into a tree.'
 
4/10 for cleverness.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why the heck do I care about a stupid chicken?

I'm hilarious.
 
1/10 for using the same joke over and over

A traveller gets attacked by native americans, but they spare him and force him to eat horse meat.
He has it as a mane course.
 
5/10 for being a play on words.

10 people are holding onto the wings of a plane. They decide that one person needs to let go or the plane will crash too fast. One makes a heroic speech and the rest all clap.
 
8/10 for people's stupidity.

Q: Pun.
A: Answer.

I don't understand that so 5/10
Three people are in a house.
One of them goes downstairs to get a glass of water.
A ghost appears and says "I am the ghost with two green eyes."
The guy runs away.
The second person goes downstairs to get a midnight snack. The same thing happens. He runs away.
The third person goes downstairs, on their way to the bathroom. The ghost appears and says "I am the ghost with two green eyes."
The man says "Shut up or you'll be the ghost with two black eyes."
 
e/10

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar and each order a beer. Then three flies show up and each one falls into one of the beers.

The Englishman says, "Barkeep, there's a fly in my beer. Could you get me another one?"

The Irishman says, "Hell with it," and drinks the beer with the fly still in it.

The Scotsman fishes the fly out of his beer and shouts, "Spit it out, you bastard!"
 
I don't even know how that was a joke...:sweat:
2/10

There was a man who wanted to win the lotto, but he was so serious about it he asked God to help him win.

"Ok, but on one condition."
"What condition?"
"Figure it out."

The following week, the man found he didn't win.
"Why didn't you let me win?"
"You didn't buy a ticket."
 
e/10

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar and each order a beer. Then three flies show up and each one falls into one of the beers.

The Englishman says, "Barkeep, there's a fly in my beer. Could you get me another one?"

The Irishman says, "Hell with it," and drinks the beer with the fly still in it.

The Scotsman fishes the fly out of his beer and shouts, "Spit it out, you bastard!"

What did you rate it?

I don't even know how that was a joke...:sweat:
2/10

There was a man who wanted to win the lotto, but he was so serious about it he asked God to help him win.

"Ok, but on one condition."
"What condition?"
"Figure it out."

The following week, the man found he didn't win.
"Why didn't you let me win?"
"You didn't buy a ticket."

7/10

A man walks into a bar holding a large newt. He asks the barman "Can I have a beer, and water for tiny here"
The barman asks "Why do you call him tiny?"
The man says "Because he's my newt."
 
6/10

A neutron walks into a bar, and asks the bartender "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies "For you? No charge."
 
6/10 For science puns.

What do you give an angry bear for its birthday?
Anything it wants.
 
4/10.

Chuck Norris once took a vacation to the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
 
10/10 for chuck norris and virginity.

So Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
The bar says "Ow!"
 
10/10 for Chuck Norris-ness.

Sodium atom: I've lost an electron!

Chlorine atom: Are you sure?

Sodium: Yes, I'm positive!
 
9/10

A guy bought a new computer but didn't know how to set it up.
He read the manual but didn't get any help.
The only words in it were:
For more info, visit our website at http://pc.com.
Oh my god its a real site! I swear, I had no idea...
 
4/10 ....

A duck walked into a bar one day. The duck asked the bar keeper "Got me grapes?" and the bar keeper said "No"
The next day, the duck walked into the SAME bar again and asked "Got me grapes?" The bar keep said "No! I don't have your grapes!!!"
And then the next day, the duck went into the bar again and asked "Got me grapes?" and the bar keeper said to the duck "Look, if you keep coming here and asking for grapes, I will nail you by your bill to the wall!"
So, the next day, the duck went to the bar and said "Got me nails?"
 
6/10

A man walks into a bar. The bartender tried to make a deal with him. He said that if he did three things, he would get 1,000 dollars.

First he would have to drink a glass of beer.

Then there is one of the meanest dogs chained up outside with a soar tooth, he had to pull it.

And finally, there was an old lady who had never made love before. I think you know what he had to do.

He accepted and drank the beer. He then walked outside. After the bar tender heard much screaming and yelping, the man finally walked back in, with many cuts and bruises.
"Okay.... That wasn't easy....but I did it... Now where is the Lady with the soar tooth...?"
 
4/10, I don't get it.

A toothbrush says "sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world..."

the toilet paper thinks, "Yeah right..."
 
9/10, 'cause who doesn't love potty humor.

My hometown's so small, it has a fraction for a zip code.
 
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