COMPLETE: Rival's Story

[Kars]

i...it ended?

 

[Dorothy]

Fantastic chapter as always, Gama. I've taken the liberty of moving this fic to the Archive, BTW.

 

[Iris White]

So can we still post comments on here in the archive?

Edit: Okay good =D

 

[Instrutilus]

Pro'ly, plenty of people'll still wanna comment on the brilliant fic, and I doubt the admins will disallow that =P

 

[Roulette]

Ah, Rival's Story is finally in the archives :') Great job on completing the fic G-Mama. Truly the Writer's Workshop's pride and joy. Not many fics that are started here get finished, but you not only managed to finish a 100 chapter fic, but a high-quality fic. Kudos G-Mama, I hope to see good things from you in the future

 

[AceTrainer14]

Curse you for ending on a cliffhanger! That's really mean

But this story has been a joy to read, and this ending was very exciting as well! You are a very good writer, and I can't wait to see what your next big story is going to be Thanks for writing this, it was a truly great story, with a magnificent, movie like ending, so cheers

 

[Sith Droideka]

This is Sith Droideka, with my half-way report. In one day I have read chapters 1-52, and I'm hooked. The grammar isn't the best, but your interpretation is wonderful and I rather liked Red becoming a ruthless trainer (although I don't see how it's easier to make a pokémon hate me- I've never had that problem). That part with grabbing Pidgeot's leg was pure genius! And Blue's constant attitude is great. Yeah, he's still a jerk, but at it's really hard to hate him. I will now go and read chapters 53-100.

 

[Dorothy]

Discussion is allowed in here for the next three days, due to author request.

 

[Metabee]

Finishing with a one-liner and a cliffhanger, you... you...

I suppose it's slightly saddening to see Rival's Story in the Archives section, but it deserves to be preserved for all to see. This has got to be a prime example of what a Pokémon fanfic should be like. It's been quite the ride, and thanks for tying up some of the loose ends at least. The real fun about the ending is grasping at straws regarding the aftermath.

Thanks, Gama. It's been fun.

When's Dragon Days coming out? :3

 

[Gama]

All of your replies are really making me smile and thanks, Jabberwocky, for allowing discussions for now.

I'm not sure when Dragon Days is going to come out just yet, I want to take a little break first. Also, I've started work on a few one shots that I'm going to release first. Basically, don't hold your breath, but it shouldn't be toolong.

And again, thank you so much for all your replies, it's really nice to see everyone commenting on Rival's Story. I've really enjoyed writing it so it's lovely to see that people have enjoyed reading it too!

 

[brickwork]

Congrats! I honestly think that you could become a professional author. And thanks, for giving me something awesome to read.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

This was a blast to read, all 100 chapters. Congrats, thats all I can say, congrats.

 

[JohtoMotto]

Sequel? =3

 

[Danerius Jr]

Congrats Gama,and thank-you, it was an absolute joy to read this fanfic.

 

[Sarcastically Insane]

Time for my detailed review.

So I feel that the last few chapters are lacking. Not in plot- no, they have the best plot of the entire story. What they're lacking in is action. Rival's Story has had some absolutely amazing battles throughout its run- why are they missing from the climax of what can best be described as a jouney fic, something that's main focus is battling?

Then there's Blue's simple trading away of Charizard- I'm sorry, I just can't see Blue, of all people, trade away anything he had developed a connection with, especially to Red, even if they have become friends. Blue's motivation, this entire time, has been to best Red, and giving Red one of his strongest Pokemon, 'tactical advantage' or not, is not something he would do.

I also feel like there's such a major part missing from the last chapter- Mewtwo. Okay, it was let free. But since you've finally started deviating from the games (or adding to them), why was Mewtwo made into a plot point if he was to never show? I personally make it a point to put extra effort into Legendaries' entrances, battles, and personalities, all of which you can do a beautiful job of, Gama. Thus, to me, the last few chapters seem a bit empty of point. It seems like the real climax was Red vs. Blue.

All in all, though, this was an okay end to a great story. It didn't have any major flaws (besides the Charizard thing, to me), but I felt like you could have done it in a truly spectacular way; these last few chapters don't seem to hold your usual brilliance.

 

[Sith Droideka]

Finished it, and it is phenomenal! 9.9/10, only because the grammar wasn't that great in some areas. Ruthless!Red and Ruthless!Blue were the best parts, though.

 

[Zekurom]

Finished it, and it is phenomenal! 9.9/10, only because the grammar wasn't that great in some areas.

Wow, I'm really being left in the dust here, aren't I.

 

[Rob Anybody]

All Bow before the mighty author Gastly's Mama! :unworthy:

While You yourself have denied a sequel, is there any truth to the rumour that Your next fic wuill be even better?

 

[Gama]

Time for my detailed review.

So I feel that the last few chapters are lacking. Not in plot- no, they have the best plot of the entire story. What they're lacking in is action. Rival's Story has had some absolutely amazing battles throughout its run- why are they missing from the climax of what can best be described as a jouney fic, something that's main focus is battling?

Then there's Blue's simple trading away of Charizard- I'm sorry, I just can't see Blue, of all people, trade away anything he had developed a connection with, especially to Red, even if they have become friends. Blue's motivation, this entire time, has been to best Red, and giving Red one of his strongest Pokemon, 'tactical advantage' or not, is not something he would do.

I also feel like there's such a major part missing from the last chapter- Mewtwo. Okay, it was let free. But since you've finally started deviating from the games (or adding to them), why was Mewtwo made into a plot point if he was to never show? I personally make it a point to put extra effort into Legendaries' entrances, battles, and personalities, all of which you can do a beautiful job of, Gama. Thus, to me, the last few chapters seem a bit empty of point. It seems like the real climax was Red vs. Blue.

All in all, though, this was an okay end to a great story. It didn't have any major flaws (besides the Charizard thing, to me), but I felt like you could have done it in a truly spectacular way; these last few chapters don't seem to hold your usual brilliance.

Well I'm glad you liked the story up to that point. I guess I just wanted to try something new with Rival's Story while at the same time explaining the events of GSCHGSS. I didn't really want to include Mewtwo in the final chapter because I thought it felt like too much of a forced climax and, to be honest, a little too obvious. I also didn't want to include another major battle because I feel like there's been too much battling in Rival's Story even though, as you said, that is the essence of a journey fic.

I guess you're right, I just wanted to try a few thing out. If it makes you feel better you can pretend Rival's Story ends with Blue being defeated at the Pokemon League =)

All Bow before the mighty author Gastly's Mama! :unworthy:

While You yourself have denied a sequel, is there any truth to the rumour that Your next fic wuill be even better?

Well thank you very much, although that seems a little extreme.

Dragon Days, the story of Lance, will be my next fic. It's set in the 'Rivalverse' and Blue will be featured briefly so it'll give some insight as to what happens to Blue next but not a lot as it'll be mainly focused on Lance. As you can see from the battle between Lance and Blue in Rival's Story, Lance is a very different character to Blue - he's a lot more impulsive where Blue is contemplative, so battles in Dragon Days will be less thought out and more explosive, just like Lance's personality.

Dragon Days will also be darker than Rival's Story. Not dark like Roots, but it'll be a lot gorier, which you'll see as early as the first chapter.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

That was amazing. I finally finished the story after reading the 100 chapters in 6 days! I have not read such a "page-turner" since a Darren Shan novel. Your take on the characters were spectacular, I loved their various personalities. The battles were amazing, I thought it would be impossible to top Sabrina's battle, but you did with Giovanni's, then with Lance's, and finally with Red's last battle. The fact that you knew Blue was gonna win or lose some battles and still doubted that made it even more beautiful. The ending to me was perfect, I cannot imagine a better, more fitting ending than that. You are truly inspirational and I will definitely find myself returning here.