MATURE: [AND TEEN] [AND EVERYONE] Snuggle's Grand Poetry Grab Bag

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 17, 2019

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This is an unofficial, company-independant work of fiction made by a Pokémon fan. Under accessible information and belief, copyright of the Pokémon franchise and its contents is shared between Nintendo Co., Ltd. and subsidiaries, Creatures Inc., Game Freak Inc., and The Pokémon Company. I consider this work fair use under United States law on basis of being a noncommercial, highly transformitive work that uses the minimum necessary, least substantial portions of the original work, and that does not significantly impact the original work's market (actual or potential). I consider this work copyrighted under United States law as I, the author of this work, reside in and fix this work into tangible form from the United States onto servers hosted by United States-based Cloudflare Inc. in San Francisco, California with Bulbagarden.net's registrar being United States-based GoDaddy.com LLC.

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Additional copyright information is provided in the spoilers below:

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If you have any questions or concerns regarding this work's copyright, please start a conversation with the user @Snuggle Tier List. Due to safety concerns raised by staff operating under the authority of the Bulbagarden Forums, I intend to share as little personal information as possible about my location. Nevertheless, if you have legal cause to learn more about me (for instance, learn my address so I can be properly served by a court), please contact @Snuggle Tier List through a direct message via the Bulbagarden Forums. This requires registration with the Bulbagarden Forums, which you may do by clicking "Register" at the top of the page and confirming an email address.

Hello, fellow mortals! This is my grab bag of any and all poetry I consider worthy to post to the Writer's Workshop. All poems are standalone unless specifically stated otherwise and carry their own content warnings, though this thread has been labeled Mature as Mature poems are the most common. As a rule of thumb, my poems tend to be raw postmodern genre-defying folksy lit, though each poem is its own beast. Brief descriptions for each poem are provided in the table of contents below, with more thorough context/summaries in each particular poem's post if you're interested. Regardless, expect the unexpected.

Poems are numbered in the order they were published, with the first poem published being #1, the second poem published being #2, and so on. This grab bag will expand as inspiration strikes/I don't die, though I don't keep concrete plans for adding new poems.

Onward!

#1: MATURE: I Needed Their Lies
Autobiographical meta-poem about what it's like to hallucinate Pokémon.

#2: MATURE: My Friend, At Least You Get To Die
Rhythmic fix-fic of sorts concerning some unfortunate implications of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky's main story ending.

#3: MATURE: A Bright And Sunny Day (Cloudyland)
Sarcastic anarchist ramblings meets extremely dark comedy meets an exposé on the mental health benefits of cynicism.

#4: TEEN: A Fairer World
A Pokémon: Mystery Dungeon inspired spiritual love poem that's just too late, and they know it.

#5: EVERYONE: Somewhere I Can Go
Lonely wanderlust pseudo-hymm that can't find its faith.

#6: TEEN: Ghosts Can't Sing
There will be no post-apocalypse. Just an apocalypse. Or, perhaps, no apocalypse at all, if you're interested.

#7: MATURE: The Meat Shop
With apologies to Beto O'Rourke.

#8: TEEN: Michael
The state of Rhode Island screws up. Also, Pokémon.

#9: EVERYONE: badpoem
a poem thatz bad

#10: EVERYONE: Let's Be Happy
Me gushing about why I love Pokémon via the deepest cut I can manage. Because I'm a fan, heckit!

#11: TEEN: It's Your Fault
Corporate victim blaming distilled to the point of pity.

#12: MATURE: The Devil's Work
A pseudo-hymm following a not-so-holy man.

May 22nd, 2019: More copyright notice refinement, should be less intrusive now. Intro post updated to accommodate. This hiatus thing is awfully high-maintenance. Copyright is hard.

~~---------------------------------~~

May 15th, 2019: Housekeeping, still on hiatus! Just updating copyright notice due to me learning more about cooyright and reformatting intro post a bit to put it in parity with my other works. I've removed the TL;DR section of my intro post, but that's because the full table of contents is two paragraphs below, making my summary easily skippable for those inclined. Other than that, just restructuring some links and updating my offline backups; nothing to see here, check out my sig for completed and ongoing projects.

~~---------------------------------~~

April 27th, 2019: I've gotten some feedback that my thread's MATURE rating implied all my poems were mature, so I've edited my thread title and summary. Still officially on hiatus, though it's an issue I felt needed addressing ASAP.

~~---------------------------------~~

April 22th, 2019: Snuggle's Grand Poetry Grab Bag is officially on hiatus. I'm redirecting my pursuits towards new fan works, one of which I'm planning to publish in the Writer's Workshop within a week, give or take a few days.

I plan to return to this collection someday when inspiration strikes again. I don't know when (if ever) that will be. But I'm proud of what I've written here over the past two months. I've learned a lot, if nothing else. And that's made this poetry collection worth it.

Thank you everyone for reading. I'll continue to maintain this thread in case of comments and reviews; I tend to be very chatty about my own works, and I'm more than willing to answer any questions you might have. Thank you, whoever you may be, to whatever level of support you've given. From a single thread view to a full review: thank you.

~~---------------------------------~~

April 20th, 2019: I made a banner! I think it en-capsule-lates my poetry collection perfectly, don't you think? Hopefully it'll buoy people skimming my copyright notice. Which no one ever does, because everyone reads the ridiculously long legalise, right? I mean, when's the last time anyone's skipped an EULA? What a lovely copyright system we live under.

As for the actual poetry front, I'm afraid I have bad news. My "Ideas" folder is drying up. I'm down to one soon-to-be-published poem, which I'm expecting to be ready sometime this weekend. It's quite possible I'm "poetry-ed out“, at least for the time being. I'm not officially calling a hiatus until the next poem's published, but if inspiration continues to elude me, my next poem might be my last. At least for the time being.

That doesn't mean I'm vanishing, though. I have a couple ideas for future projects that I'm planning to start up soon, but they're all heavy-duty prose that'll require my full attention. Expect an update in this space soon.

~~---------------------------------~~

April 13th, 2019: New formatting! All poems are now outside spoilers and use inline code, which means words are now accurately counted by threadmarks. I'm weaning back and forth on whether to put the "Summary/Author's Notes" sections in spoilers; reading through my collection again in-depth, they seemed to have an appeal in and of themselves. They might be the reason people read; hiding them in spoiler tags might hide away my best content. But I want some sort of "skip context" option, for people unlike me. Perhaps adding the raw poems to the intro post under the TL;DR spoiler?

In any case, I'm holding off on more maintenance tasks until poem #10 is published. Then I'm thinking about fancying up this here intro post. But poem #10's been throwing writer's block at me, and I swore this collection would reach at least ten poems, so I'm making new poem(s) first priority for now. I'll update if that changes.

~~---------------------------------~~

April 9th, 2019: We're almost to ten poems! I already have a first draft: I'm aiming for an Everyone rating, to make this a true grab bag.

In preparation, I'm planning a little housekeeping. At minimum, I want to add line numbers to my poems, to make them easier to quote. I also have an experimental idea to fix this thread's word count, though it's currently untested. You'll definitely know it when you see it. Expect to see formatting changes before the next poem goes live.

~~---------------------------------~~

March 24th, 2019: Hello again! After some brief diversions, I'm back to writing poetry. And in preparation, I'm releasing all my poems under Creative Commons. That probably won't mean much on your end, but it's extra peace of mind for me. And honestly, I like the professional look it brings.

Expect actual new poems over the coming days. I've got four already half-complete, plus a self-pledge to reach 10 poems total. Then I can think about another poetry break, perhaps some more longer form writing. Watch this space.

~~---------------------------------~~

March 8th, 2019: New poem, rated Teen! And now, a very important announcement.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I WILL NO LONGER POST UPDATES JUST BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW POEM.

Yeah, it's redundant info, in hindsight. Adding a "Latest Update" field so you can check at a glance if I'm mixing up the formula. But it's been working so far, so apart from that, no changes! Enjoy the new poem.

~~---------------------------------~~

March 5th, 2019: First poem rated Everyone! And I think it's my saddest one yet. I don't know anymore.

Doing a bit of cleanup, as well. I'm adding a TL;DR option for those that want to jump in, no context. Intro and table of contents have been tweaked slightly to accommodate this. Heads up: TL;DRs skip content and spoiler warnings!

Also, I corrected a grammah mistake in the last update. Embarrassing, that. Did some line break experimentation, too. Pseudo-horizontal lines should start looking fancier. And I'm adding the accent to Pokémon now! Thank you, autocorrect.

Also also, title now fits on one line on mobile! Hoorah, OCD compliance!

~~---------------------------------~~

March 1st, 2019: New poem! And it's not rated mature! Whuuua?

I've also done a bit of cleaning up. All quotes now have links to sources, and poem spoilers are centered like a proper title. Behind the scenes, I've created a template that'll let me quickly format poems as ~~their~~ they're written. Does that mean more poems in the future? I have a few ideas...

~~--------------------------------~~

February 27th, 2019: As a token of appreciation, I'm adding the names of everyone who's commented, good or bad, to a "Special Thanks" as part of the intro.

Also, threadmarks now have content labels incorporated! Got this suggestion from @diamondpearl876 in Simple Questions, Simple Answers. It looks great; thank you!

Oh, and I slightly edited my intro to better reflect my update plans. At least one poem is in the works, with more likely to follow. Stay tuned!

~~--------------------------------~~

February 24th, 2019: I figured out what threadmarks are! Kinda! All poems have been given a self-descriptive threadmark. You can jump around between poems via the threadmark index. I may experiment more in the future as I learn.

(Latest News Update: May 22nd, 2019)

Special Thanks:
@Juliko
@Darkmaster006
And everyone that comments or reviews!

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 22, 2019

I Needed Lies

"I'm an artist with a certain special something
And that something makes me really really sad because I'm nothing"

—Hobo Johnson, "Dear Labels"

MATURE Content Warning: Rated for raw depictions of nonfiction physical restraints as part of mental health treatment, as well as borderline political commentary on both the for-profit mental health sector and the for-profit Pokemon franchise. Oh, and there's this really attention-seeking moany guy acting all sad and stuff, it's kinda pathetic.

(Editor's note: this poem was originally posted standalone on February 17th, 2019. The summary has been left unedited to preserve context, with some minor formatting changes to put this poem in parity with later poems.)

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Uh...hi.

I'm Kyle, if we haven't already met. I'm a 22-year-old grown man. I'm unemployed. I'm not enrolled in college. I'm posting poetry to a Pokemon fan fiction subforum. I'm not sure what life choices brought me here, but they were probably the wrong ones.

I feel the need to give some context to this poem, because, well...I mean, you probably read the content warning. This ain't a happy poem. It isn't. It really, really isn't.

This poem documents a seven-day involuntary commitment I "earned" at an adolescent inpatient unit that I'd rather not detail further without a bribe. The poem also references the fall-from-grace of Genius Sonority, the development studio best known for the Pokemon Colosseum subseries. And how becoming a grown man has made me aware of the underlying market forces behind game development, and how the very hopes that kept me alive through some traumatizing life events turned out to be convenient lies. And I didn't really put all this together until I started writing what I though would be a song for Overclocked Remix, and then some memories I didn't know I had came flooding back, and then I stopped writing and started reporting.

So, uh, yeah. I'm posting this as my formal introduction to the community, because what better way to break the ice than to share a poem I wrote months ago in the middle of the night while crying myself to sleep? And that's kinda a joke, but also not? I want to disclose my personal biases, so that when I'm reviewing your fic or posting my own trash, you can understand where I'm coming from. And "where I'm coming from" is the loony bin. Make of that as you will, and I'm very aware of what I'm implying. Probably too aware.

Oh, and, uh, in case there's any concern: I'm already seeking psychological testing and I'm currently engaging with a network of actually competent mental health providers, including a therapist and case worker. They're all pretty good, they're all clinically licensed, I have regular appointments which I regularly attend, and that is all the personal information I feel comfortable sharing (without a bribe). Bad stuff's in the past, it has been processed and dealt with. I hope. Look, you never know when a repressed memory is going to come bubbling up while you're sitting on the toilet staring at the wall. Not that I would know anything about that, of course.

We good? Good. Here's a poem. It's alright, I guess.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: I needed lies
2: Someone to tell me I'd be fine
3: Lying on the hospital bed
4: Trying not to panic again
5: For the nurses would come in and hold my wrists down
6: I'd struggle, but there were too many of them
7: They'd drag me to that room and lock the door

8: It was the safest torture chamber
9: An empty box coated in foam
10: I sat there crying, praying for new worlds
11: Somewhere I could live that isn't here
12: And the marketers gave me everything I needed

13: I wrote fan fiction on scrap paper
14: For a corporate product for children
15: While the doctors were all AWOL
16: Their paychecks given to executives
17: I waited a week for my appointment
18: Discharged as soon as the doctor saw me
19: My insurance wouldn't pay for more treatment

20: I pretended there were monsters
21: We played games when no one was looking
22: I'd read them stories during lights out
23: It was insane, and I didn't care
24: I didn't want this world anymore
25: I'd escape into the marketing
26: A world constructed to sell me products
27: To fund the paychecks of executives
28: While the developers worked by order
29: The game was still a disappointment
30: It undersold the predecessor
31: It didn't matter it had saved me
32: The studio was underperforming
33: A few years later came the layoffs
34: No more paychecks for my saviors
35: Because their lies didn't satisfy investors

36: I'm a little angry

37: I don't want their lies anymore
38: I can make them fine myself
39: I can pretend there's monsters anytime
40: I can see one right in front of me
41: He's got great big eyes and blue scales
42: He's got stubby arms and smiles
43: He likes snuggling in my blankets
44: He's my lie, and I know what he is
45: He ain't real, but he keeps me alive
46: Sometimes

47: But until I found him, I needed their lies

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

This has been quite the thrill ride to publish. Regardless, I'm 100% open to any reviews/criticism. At all. I cope with reality through self-depreciating gallows humor, so any complaints you might have are both welcome and needed to fuel my perverted ego. I'm an optimist like that. Or, you know, a nice review would be nice. But no lying!

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 22, 2019

My Friend, At Least You Get To Die

"Death is real
Someone's there and then they're not
And it's not for singing about
It's not for making into art"

—Mount Eerie, "Real Death"

MATURE Content Warning: Blasphemous. Contains a vivid depiction of a serious depressive disorder left untreated, with all that implies. Minor language. Non-canon.

Spoiler Warning: This poem is set at the main story ending of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky. As such, it spoils a major event that occurs immediately before the credits roll.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Well, I guess I'm the scary poem guy now, 'cause I can't stop writing them. I'm not trying to write poems - I actually have much longer prose pretty deep in the pipeline - but it doesn't sit right with me to publish nothing while reviewing other people's works. The safety of the reviewer's couch and all that.

So what do we got here today? This is a poem written from the perspective of the player's partner from Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky. If you have not played any of those games to main story completion, this poem will be complete gibberish. If you have, this poem will probably still be complete gibberish unless you have a working knowledge of the western canon and related philosophical works. I'm here to earn my Mature rating through honest-to-god (heh) intellectualism, no matter what fic ghetto I associate myself with. I've been hanging around these parts about a week, I'm starting to pick up on things, and anecdotal reports tell me Mature fics are perceived to be shock value and not much else. Whether that perception's true or not, I'm not experienced enough to say, but I will be doing my part to make the Mature fic be taken more seriously.

But I'm getting off-topic. The poem before you today is a fix fic of sorts, as I believe the ending of Explorers was incredibly disrespectful to the subject it tackled. Thus, this poem was born. In case the title didn't tip you off, this is an angry poem directed at...well, I don't want to spoil too much, but some of that anger is directed towards the game itself. And I'm posting it on a Pokemon fan forum! And the poem can only be understood by fans of the particular game I'm criticizing! What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, and despite the epitaph, I recommend you read this poem out loud. It has a rhythm that's lost when read in the mind. There's a certain ring to it, if I do say so myself.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: So, sad, you, had, to, say, good, bye
2: You, had, a, seat, in, par, a, dise
3: Don't, say, you've, ne, ver, had, it, nice
4: My, friend, at, least, you, get, to, die

5: Ha, ha, ha, ha
6: Ha, ha, ha, ha

7: The Monadology attests
8: My universe is an aspect
9: But I've been prying the Candide
10: Perhaps your world is not the best
11: You could say Voltaire's up his ass
12: His fiction's oh so very bad
13: But if god exists, he wouldn't sanction this
14: Why did you leave me in this mess?
15: I've made my peace with simple facts
16: Yet here you are, come crawling back
17: A deed divine, maybe, perhaps
18: But nothing's holy about this act
19: So sad you had to say goodbye
20: You had a seat in paradise
21: Don't say you've never had it nice
22: My friend at least you get to die

23: My friend at least you get to die
24: My friend at least you get to die
25: My friend at least you get to die
26: My friend at least you get to die

27: My friend at least you get to die
28: My friend at least you get to die
29: My friend at least you get to die
30: My friend at least you get to die!

31: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
32: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

33: And so you claim that all is well
34: Past's in the past, no time to dwell
35: But I have questions for you friend
36: Tell me, have you read Leviathan?
37: I browsed that book from end to end
38: And I came out screaming, DEATH TO SOVERIGNS!
39: No more shall I behold your lies
40: No, I will not stand idly by!
41: While we insist on complacence!
42: To lords and saviors, malevolent!
43: And you are one of their agents!
44: Tell me, my friend, do you believe in death?

45: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
46: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
47: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
48: HA, HA, HA, HA!

49: Come now, you think you've had it bad?
50: I gave you everything I had
51: And yet you took it all away
52: And now you ask for me to pray?
53: So sad you had to say goodbye
54: You had a seat in paradise
55: Don't say you've never had it nice
56: My friend at least you get to die

57: My friend at least you get to die!
58: My friend at least you get to die!
59: My friend at least you get to die!
60: My friend at least you get to die!

61: My friend at least you get to die!
62: My friend at least you get to die!
63: My friend at least you get to die!
64: My friend at least you get to DIIIIIEEEE!

65: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
66: HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAAAA!

67: I cannot kill you in this land
68: Your are immortal in their hands
69: And their powers are far too great
70: To make my world a better place
71: And so I take my only leave
72: I brought you here so you could see
73: Goodbye my friend, you are nothing
74: I hope you'll stop your pretending
75: I wish our worlds the very best
76: But my existence, you don't bless
77: So sad you had to say goodbye
78: You had a seat in paradise
79: Don't say you've never had it nice
80: My friend we'll see if I can die

81: Ha, ha, ha, ha
82: Ha, ha, ha, ha
83: Ha, ha, ha, ha
84: Ha, ha, ha, ha

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

As always, thoughts, comments, criticism, etc. welcome. And oh boy, am I putting myself in the firing line. But if I'm going to be reviewing other people's fics, and I tend to be pretty blunt when I review, then other people should have the opportunity to be blunt with me. Or not. You do what you want to do. Unless you do bad things. Don't do bad things. They are bad. I'm a poet!

Yeah, I'm a sick, sarcastic kind of person. I wouldn't be here otherwise.

Juliko · Feb 23, 2019

I'm not an expert on poetry, so I'm not in a positive to give really detailed critique. I've never been good at writing poems myself. But I do think yours are great! Your recent one looks like it could make for a great song.

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 23, 2019

Juliko said:
Your recent one looks like it could make for a great song.

About that. I've actually dabbled in music myself, I was a drummer before I moved into an apartment, and so my "poems" are usually composed with songs in mind.

For instance, that epitaph on "My Friend, At Least You Get To Die"? That comes from the song that inspired "I Needed Lies"'s rhythm:

You see, the songwriter had recently suffered the death of his dearly beloved wife, and she left behind a child who would now...you know what, I feel disrespectful even describing it. Listen to the song if you want to know more. He's, uh, pretty blunt.

Now, as for the rhythm for "My Friend, At Least You Get To Die"? The plan was to invoke one of Pokemon: Mystery Dungeon's slower, more melancholy songs:

But looking back, I think some existentialist polka players crept in:

In case you can't tell, I'm a music snob. My playlist contains prog death metal, synth pop, and pretty much everything in between. Yes, even country. Which in turn informs how I write.

Little peak behind the curtain for 'ya. I honestly don't know much about poetry either, but I do know much about songwriting. And every once in a while, I'll think of lyric while I'm on the toilet, and then next thing I know I have half a poem. And then I get writer's block, abandon the poem for month, only to open it up a month later and finish it in one go. Probably not the best writing process, but it's the one I got.

Darkmaster006 · Feb 24, 2019

I know nothing of the games you mention (I actually wanna play them sometimes, but I always forget hah), but I'll chime in to mention that your second poem brought this album to my mind:
View: https://charactersnv.bandcamp.com/album/reasons-not-to-exist-2

Is it probably because it says 'To Die' at the end? Most certainly. But I could do with the rhythm of the poem like that, the first verse only tbh, the poem gets more ragey? the following verses.
Also, I was wondering what that monster at the end (of the first poem) is?

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 24, 2019

Darkmaster006 said:
Is it probably because it says 'To Die' at the end? Most certainly. But I could do with the rhythm of the poem like that, the first verse only tbh, the poem gets more ragey? the following verses.

Ragey might be a good way to put it. I'm not sure. I viewed it as more confident, more passionate. Starts off slow and sarcastic, then gets more blunt as time goes on. I'd point to the final verse to support this; not as ragey as the ones before, but still direct and to-the-point. Or at least, that's how I think it comes off.

Darkmaster006 said:
Also, I was wondering what that monster at the end (of the first poem) is?

Now, I could be a decent person and give you a straight answer, or...

WHO'S THAT POKEMON?

IT'S TOTODILE!

couldn't resist sorry not sorry

EDIT: Added spoiler to Da Question, as the image is quite large

Darkmaster006 · Feb 24, 2019

Snuggle Tier List said:
Ragey might be a good way to put it. I'm not sure. I viewed it as more confident, more passionate. Starts off slow and sarcastic, then gets more blunt as time goes on. I'd point to the final verse to support this; not as ragey as the ones before, but still direct and to-the-point. Or at least, that's how I think it comes off.

Now, I could be a decent person and give you a straight answer, or...

WHO'S THAT POKEMON?

View attachment 116085

View attachment 116086
IT'S TOTODILE!

couldn't resist sorry not sorry

EDIT: Added spoiler to Da Question, as the image is quite large

Haha, I was actually thinking Piplup but I didn't want to venture my answer, it was wrong after all. But it could fit in with the description, right?

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 24, 2019

Darkmaster006 said:
Haha, I was actually thinking Piplup but I didn't want to venture my answer, it was wrong after all. But it could fit in with the description, right?

Piplup would be a great hallucination to have in a mental hospital that refuses to let you leave until they milk you for all the insurance money you're worth! Aw, man. My extreme stress hallucinations suck

A little context: My first Pokémon game was Silver for the Game Boy Color. Totodile was the starter that got me to the Elite Four, because I was a dumb kid who only used one Pokemon and Totodile could learn the HMs. Unfortunately, I ran out of move slots by the time Waterfall was needed, so I was forced to catch a Goldeen. And I used the Master Ball. I was a dumb kid.

In other news, new poem almost ready to be published! It's about sunshine and ponies! Hoorary!

Snuggle Tier List · Feb 24, 2019

A Bright And Sunny Day

Oh heck I need a quote for this um

"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and I certainly don't endorse it."

—Randell Monroe, xkcd

Perfect.

MATURE Content Warning: Explicitly political. Contains explicit violent and sexual imagery, including mention of rape. Enough sarcasm that I have to put it in the content warning.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Hey, guys! I made a poem! This one's called A Bright And Sunny Day! I'm happy! Also, I'm an anarchist!

Yup, time to slap another adjective in front of "crazy depressing Snuggles". This poem, would you believe it, started as a rage response to some criticism I received while running a Dungeons and Dragons game for random strangers (also known as "The Regret Times"). You see, my players couldn't figure out what my game's tone was supposed to be. There were dramatic scenes that turned into comedic scenes that turned into dramatic scenes, and then there were comedic scenes that turned into dramatic scenes, and then everyone was in jail.

My response? Heck tone!

Okay, I didn't say it like that. I didn't say it at all, actually. Thing about running a roleplay is that the customer is always right, so I tried to keep things more "tonally consistent". But the game ended about a month later with me writing an apology letter, so you can guess how that turned out.

Truth is, I just don't know tone. My life, were it a movie, would be very tonally inconsistent, with happy moments next to sad moments next to happy moments next to who-called-the-cops moments next to sad moments. And that has led me to a deep philosophical revelation, one that in true Snuggles fashion I will put in a quote:

"The universe doesn't care about your problems."

—Jay Bauman, RedLetterMedia

Naturally, this clashes with a lot of basic storytelling structure. Because to some degree, fictional worlds revolve around the protagonist. And I just don't know what it's like to feel that.

So then I started writing the most tonally inconsistent song (it was intended to be a song) I could think of, and then I started tapping into some deep personal beliefs, and then I just said "heck it, we're going deep!" And then I made this. It's, uh, a journey to Cloudyland! And Cloudyland ain't that bad, in my humble opinion.

Oh, and I'm serious about the anarchist thing. I don't believe we should be abolishing government anytime soon, and I definitely don't believe in violently overthrowing the current global "system", for lack of a better word. Non-violent uncivil protest is where it's at, and it works better, too! But I do believe today's society lacks the checks and balances a more democratic, localized government would. I'm actually more concerned with consolidation of power than anything, and anti-authoritarianism seems to be anarchism's primary goal, so I guess I'm an anarchist. Never thought I'd end up here, I'm a little scared of where my political beliefs are shifting, but I'm here now. Guess I gotta put it in a poem.

So, yeah, fair warning: this poem goes places. It says things. And you don't need to agree with them. I don't want everyone to think exactly like I do, because then that'd be consolidation of thought, and consolidation ain't anarchist. My political beliefs literally force me to recognize your opinion! All issues are political issues, or so the saying goes.

Anyways, enough incoherent rambling by a crazy person. Poetry!

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: And a one, two, three, four, five

2: Ev, ery, one's, dying! On a bright and sunny day
3: Not a cloud in the sky (except the smoke from the mortars)
4: Innocents are dying, and the sun is refreshing
5: But the warmth can't save us from the suicide bombers (HELP US)
6: We're breathing in chemicals and playing parcheesi
7: We're snuggling kittens and raping minorities
8: Save all the ponies and rescue the butterflies
9: Pour a glass of wine and watch the whole world die

10: And a one, two, three, four, five

11: Ev, ery, one's, lying! That's it's gonna be okay
12: Not a cloud in the sky (except a few minor mushrooms)
13: Innocents are dying, while we're tolerating
14: No one's watching the news, it's been really depressing
15: That's okay you don't need it, call them liers and rapists
16: Brutally dishonest, let's go attack our critics
17: Plug your ears with your headphones, turn that frown upside down
18: Tell us not to be worried, as the world crumbles down

19: AND A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!

20: Write a cool instrumental for a corporate broadcast
21: Strings and pads will be useful for today's propagandist
22: You can stay apolitical, we don't need endorsements
23: When your music is licensed under Creative Commons
24: Focus on the production, don't you get too poetic
25: Messaging in your music makes you too artistic
26: It's okay to be brainless, PR tells me it's harmless
27: Just sit back and have fun, what have words ever done?

————

28: Come take my hand, we'll go to Cloudyland
29: Not a pony in sight, and there's eternal peace
30: No we don't have the sun, but we can still have fun
31: Down in Cloudyland, everyone's happy!

32: Come take my hand, we'll go to Cloudyland
33: Not a lier in sight, and there's eternal peace
34: No we don't have the sun, but we can still have fun
35: Down in Cloudyland, we can be happy!

36: Come take my hand, we'll go to Cloudyland
37: The propaganda is gone, and there's eternal peace
38: No we don't have the sun, but we can still have fun
39: Down in Cloudyland, let us be happy!

40: Happy and free!
41: We'll be happy and free!
42: Come and be happy!
43: I want to be happy

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Comments, criticism, yadda yadda you know the drill. Hit me! Just do it! ~~MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE~~

Snuggle Tier List · Mar 1, 2019

A Fairer World

"No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes"

—Regina Spektor, "Laughing With"

TEEN Content Warning: Deals with the topic of the Abrahamic God. A couple f-level curses. Sad, though not to the level of depression.

Spoiler Warning: This poem is set in the main story conclusion of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky. As such, it spoils a major event that occurs during the final cutscene.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

So earlier, I wrote a poem about the ending of Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky. But what if we flipped the perspective?

This poem was written from the perspective of the player's avatar watching the events of the four month cutaway. While it can be read as a non-Pokémon fic, I wrote what I knew and so this was born. And also, it's...an unironic love poem? With a Teen rating? Who am I and what have I done with Snuggles?

Truth is, I've had a stressful week, and I wanted to write something optimistic. It's not happy, per se, but it won't leave you feeling depressed like my other work. It's sad, but it's a cathartic type of sad. One that processes those sad emotions and turns them into something productive ~~instead of ignoring very real problems like the "official" ending's blatent disrespect for a very real problem that society needs to process~~.

This one's a shorter poem, but it's got enough punch that I feel it's worthy of publication. Think of this as the answer to "My Friend, At Least You Get To Die". That poem finds flaws, this poem finds solutions. Not sunshine and roses, but it's as productive as the situation allows. People with problems, but they're dealing with them.

I really like this tone, honestly. I wonder if I can wrangle some happiness out of me yet. Let's find out.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: I'm a fool
2: Please forget me as I deserve
3: I have failed you, you are grieving
4: I know
5: It ain't fair
6: I'm getting pearly gates and freedom
7: While you're crying like you need me
8: You don't
9: I was weak
10: An avatar for nothing, really
11: Just a reject in the deep end
12: No hope
13: And you stayed
14: I never tried to make it easy
15: But you kept up with your giving
16: Why me?

17: I regret
18: Staying silent like a demon
19: Never told you I was leaving
20: I knew
21: I was scared
22: Could've spared you from this maiming
23: I just sat there like a weakling
24: Damn me
25: I'm a fraud
26: I ain't got no right to be here
27: Writing poems like I'm an artist
28: As if
29: You were right
30: Our adventurers were the greatest
31: But I can't take all the credit
32: Fuck this

33: This is cruel
34: I need you
35: You don't need me
36: You shouldn't want me
37: This is cruel
38: I love you
39: Stop your crying
40: I've given nothing

41: You got a heathen into Heaven
42: While I drained you into nothing
43: Not like you had much to siphon
44: If you're hearing this, then know

45: You deserve a fairer world than me
46: You should see what your love gave to me
47: I'm telling God to let you have your peace
48: That fucker knows

49: You're owed a fairer world

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

As usual, comments and criticism are always appreciated. Did you see the "Special Thanks" section I set up? That's for you. Doesn't even need to be a review. Just a word or two expressing your thoughts, even if they're negative. All are welcome in Snuggle's Grab Bag! Except Steve, of course. Not after the fire.

Snuggle Tier List · Mar 5, 2019

Somewhere I Can Go

"The rise of faith
Is a wild goose chase"

—Fair to Midland, "Musical Chairs"

EVERYONE Content Warning: Vaguely Abrahamic themes. Confrontational. Sad.
wait, is that it? what's happened to me?

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

I'm starting to notice a pattern in my poetry. Namely: God.

I never went to church growing up. My grandparents dragged me along to a Catholic church once, and my family is around "the faith", but kid-me's knowledge of religion was primarily shaped by TV. Which meant high-school-me knew nothing but thought they were an expert. They were not.

Since then, I've become oddly curious. It started as a side-note when I got into philosophy, what with all the discussion of God and who / what / they are. I thought I had come to terms with the idea of a higher power; namely, "I'm making my best effort to figure out and execute an ethical life. If whatever's above me doesn't agree, I'll proudly be damned." But today, when I think of my stance on religion, I can't help but feel...lonely?

I have relatives that are proud atheists, some more proud than others. I have relatives that are proud theists, some more proud than others. And I don't feel fully comfortable associating with either side. The atheists relatives in my "real" life publicly listen to atheist podcasts that attack religious strawmen while rallying against "social justice warriors". The theist relatives in my "real" life prefer a church who's priest went on a rant against (and I quote) "secularism". During a funeral. I attended. No one in the pews said a thing.

And that's it. There's no in between, no diversity of opinions, no chance for debate. And if the choice is anti-social justice warriors (pun not intended, they made it for me) or off-topic funeral rants that leverage the dead for non-sequitur arguments, then I will find a third option.

For the record, I want to be as tolerant as possible towards other people's beliefs. And I'm okay if people don't share the same opinions as me. But there are certain ethical lines I will not cross for the sake of tolerance. Harrassment. Stalking. Threats. And while these are very buzzword-y terms that I don't have a full grasp on, I at least have some grasp. If I don't know something about an important topic, then I either spend the time to understand or defer judgment. Or, if I may quote a respected philosopher:

"'But,' says one, 'I am a busy man; I have no time for the long course of study which would be necessary to make me in any degree a competent judge of certain questions, or even able to understand the nature of the arguments.'
Then he should have no time to believe."

—W. K. Clifford, "The Ethics of Belief"

And while I'm on the point: "treat others the way you want to be treated", the most basic children's level code of ethics, has an important implication. "If you treat me bad, then why should I treat you any better?" That isn't a gotcha — there are situations where turning the other cheek can defuse tempers, clear up misunderstandings, make everyone better — but I do not endorse standing down and being a victim when you can be fighting. Not harassment, not threats of violence, but taking a stand and adding your informed, justified opinion to society's discourse. That is, if you aren't putting yourself in harm's way just by standing, a position I have found myself in far too often over the course of my life. But those are experiences for other poems.

Back on topic. Unfortunately, my real-life social circle does not have time to properly justify their beliefs. Analyzing media, finding primary sources, applying philosophical logic (a very different breed than dictionary-definition logic), etc. And this applies across the belief spectrum, sometimes to people whose opinions I even agree with! But I don't feel comfortable expressing my approval if I know you aren't properly vetting your beliefs. Because then I'm reinforcing bad habits, and then that person...well, I'm not confident what exact effect I'd be having on those people. But it'd be positive reinforcement, and I don't like reinforcing "the ends justify the means", especially in today's disinformation-filled media landscape.

And so, I'm alone. I'm trapped. I've capitulated. I know enough to realise that I should be doing something, but not enough to do anything but politely leave the room. My ethical beliefs, no, my environment had left me a doormat, doubtful and isolated as I hold my tongue. And I don't want these doubts. I don't want to be alone. And so, I want faith.

Here are my demands.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: Another home of charcoal burning
2: No more faith in moral battles
3: Yeah I know, I'm a fool
4: Just a child spouting babble
5: I'm another of the Others
6: I'll take my leave for greener grasses
7: All the fences notwithstanding
8: I got nowhere else to go

9: Give me faith, give me hope
10: Give me somewhere I can go
11: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
12: 'Cause I don't know where to go
13: Give me faith, give me hope
14: Give me somewhere I can go
15: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
16: 'Cause I don't know where to go

17: I'm alive, and you will know
18: I'd die young, but I'm a rebel
19: I need help, I need help
20: In this land of so-called wonders
21: Will you listen to my plight?
22: Or fail to heed to growing choir?
23: You will see, I'll remain
24: On your private Earth, a pyre

25: I have come to you this day
26: To beg for freedom from your gavel
27: I declare, I exist
28: I demand from you fair trial
29: I don't want no special treatment
30: When your treatment's euphanasia
31: Grant a jury of my peers
32: If there's any out there at all

33: Give me faith, give me hope
34: Give me somewhere I can go
35: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
36: 'Cause I don't know where to go
37: Give me faith, give me hope
38: Give me somewhere I can go
39: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
40: 'Cause I don't know where to go

41: I don't know, I don't know
42: Give me somewhere I can go
43: I don't know, I don't know
44: Give me somewhere I can go

45: Picture books had told me
46: The moon only came out at night
47: But it's sitting in the blue
48: Oh so very plain in sight
49: I was just a little kid
50: I was at school, I was new
51: I just stared at that moon
52: And learned how little that I knew

53: But so do you
54: You've got something to prove
55: Before you take my life away
56: Give me my chance today
57: No, I don't know
58: But neither do you
59: The benefit of the doubt, no sell
60: You wanna ruin yourself, oh well!

61: Please do

62: But I won't be with you

63: I'll hit the road again

64: 'Till we meet back in Heaven

65: But until then

66: Lord, give me faith, give me hope
67: Give me somewhere I can go
68: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
69: 'Cause I don't know where to go
70: Someone, give me faith, please, give me hope
71: Please, give me somewhere I can go
72: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
73: 'Cause I don't know where to go
74: I'll be the one to leave, you got me on my knees
75: You don't change a thing, blame it all on me
76: Just give me strength, give me hope
77: Give me somewhere I can go
78: 'Cause I don't know where I'm going
79: 'Cause I don't know where to go

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

As usual, comments and criticism are always welcome. Odd how publishing my first Everyone piece has been the most emotionally draining so far. But don't let that stop you. If anything, comments and criticism of any variety helps me process my thoughts, stress-test my logic, reveal personal biases. It's theraputic, if you would believe it or not. So fire away! A "Special Thanks" mention awaits!

Snuggle Tier List · Mar 9, 2019

Ghosts Can't Sing

"And we're gone, but not better
A lighted match can burn the cabin down, He built
It's not long, but it matters
Your suit and tie are much too tight in farmersville"

—Fair to Midland, "Orphan Anthem '86"

TEEN Content Warning: Central theme of the apocalypse. Some respectful themes of suicide and death in general.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

I'm scared of the apocalypse.

I don't mean in the Rapture sense. While I respect personal beliefs, I think it's a well-proven fact that the Rapture is non-canon. Religious canon, I mean. The Book of Revelation is a touchy subject for me.

No, when I say I'm scared of the apocalypse, I mean the end of thought. That humanity and any other intelligent beings out there will either kill themselves off or be killed by...something. I don't know what's out there. I'm not sure we can prepare against it. But if there is some sort of existential horror out there, or even just some mundane tragedy on an epic scale, then being friends with a bunch of magic monsters might help us out. I guess that's part of the fantasy of Pokémon, for me. That the world can be saved, even when threatened by apocalyptic horrors.

But there's a catch. Something from locking myself in a room and doing nothing but consume Pokémon media. And that is: if the world ends, so will Pokémon.

There's this term called "Cozy Catastrophe". It's the idea that if something horrible happens — such as an apocalypse — then some people will be better off. And while I absolutely despise this line of thinking, I don't believe I can bat it away by linking some boring scientific report. Because it's an attractive idea, it's something that makes life seem simplier. And while that doesn't necessarily make it wrong (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), it does make it hard to rationally debate.

But I think I found a way. This poem is heavily inspired by the lyrics of Between the Buried and Me's The Desert of Song:

For those that can't stomach my taste in music (I don't blame you), the analogy is this: if the world ends, there is no music. And since this analogy is being delivered through snobby music you have to deliberately seek out, then you the listener probably care about music. And it'll all be gone.

This poem is my attempt to transfer this analogy to poetry, and Pokémon media in general. I mean, you're reading poetry on a Pokémon fanfiction subforum. And this is, what, poem #6? However you got here, you have an emotional investment. If the world ends, this forum's servers are gone. Something you are enjoying at this very moment will stop singing.

Transferring this apocalypse analogy to poetry was far from copy-and-paste. Stealing the "rhythm" of a prog death metal band is both a lost cause and copyright infringement, so I had to restructure the analogy from scratch. Plus, I had to factor in my likely audience (Pokémon fans that read poetry) and what forms of media they might be afraid to lose. As a result, my take is much more blunt, but also funkier and even a little optimistic.

Oh, and while ghosts can't sing, you can. I recommend you read this poem out loud. The rhythm can slip past some people's internal monologue. I speak as an example.

That said, this is one of the more rhythmically controlled poems I've written. The grammah is based on some poetry technical guides I've been reading up on, plus a recent re-reading of Edgar Allan Poe's The Bells. While I definitely am controlling the rhythm, the grammah I use can tie your brain into knots if you're not in the right mood (I speak as an example). So if you read this poem and have trouble decoding its contents, here's my rhythmic inspiration. Though I recommend you try reading the poem before peaking in this spoiler. It's a bit of an inside joke.

Not the only inspiration, but definitely the funniest. Me and Bobby D by Everything But The Girl played a part, too. But they aren't Pokémon. Probably. Possibly. Conspiracy?

All right, everyone ready? Poem!

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: 'Nouh, thing-left, ex, cept, us, ghosts
2: We, try, to-sing, and, no, one, knows
3: We'd, write-a, poem, but our words, are all gone
4: They're gone, they're gone, they're gone, they're gone, oh oh oh

5: Come here, my peo, ple, let-me tell-you a tale
6: Of a world, without words, just some rock and the sky
7: No strings, no drums, sound has been drowned out
8: Just rain, and, dust. The world stop spinning around
9: You don't, need to-believe,
10: You'll soon know what, I, mean,
11: No-one left-to harvest, our, souls, in this poor world.

12: 'Nouh, thing-left, ex, cept, us, ghosts
13: We, fade, a-way, and, no, one, knows
14: We'd, play a game, but-me di-ah, it's gone
15: It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, oh oh oh-

16: 'Nouh, thing-left, ex, cept, us, ghosts
17: We, try, to-sing, and, no, one, knows
18: We'd, play some chords, but our songs, are all gone
19: They're gone, they're gone, they're gone, they're gone, oh oh oh-

20: When, eternal, rains, come-to, the desert, of song
21: It's the end of thought, oh, how far we've come!
22: No, the ghosts, in your head, won't, forgive-you, this time
23: We're just, dust in the wind, and there's, no, one, left, to, blame.

24: But you can blame me.
25: And I'll blame you.
26: No, it won't make us hap, py.
27: But it'll keep our san, it, y!
28: We're gonna die anyways, why not speed, it, up
29: And-bring, the-whole, world, crash, ing, down, with, us!

30: When, the-world, is, freed, from, our, poor, poems
31: The-ghosts, would-sing, all, day, if, they, had, noise
32: Maybe, they'll-play, all, day, but they'll have no games

33: And if, you think, that, they, de, serve, it.
34: And if, you think, that, you, de, serve, it.
35: And if, you think, that, we, de, serve, it.

36: Let us help you.

37: We need you

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Comments, criticism; it's all welcome. Even if it's in bad faith. Seriously. Sometimes the bad arguments are more informative than the good ones, you know? Not that I don't like respect. I like it a lot. But don't worry about being disrespectful if you choose to comment or criticize. Lay everything out. It's helpful to me regardless.

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 1, 2019

The Meat Shop

"...politics informs the vast majority of fiction, and of course, non-fiction out there. From early nursery rhymes to best selling novels, politics is quite literally everywhere."

—Jim Sterling, "The Exploitation Of Apolitical Politics (The Jimquisition)"

MATURE Content Warning: My most explicitly political work yet. Contains frequent explicit language and sometimes-explicit crude sexual humor.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

So I've been reading and re-reading "The Song of the Cow", a short 6-stanza poem by then about-16-year-old Texas hacker Psychedelic Warlord AKA future 2020 US presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke. And that was a real sentence I just typed.

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-politics-beto-orourke/ said:
While a teenager, [Beto] O’Rourke acknowledged in an exclusive interview, he belonged to the oldest group of computer hackers in U.S. history.

The hugely influential Cult of the Dead Cow, jokingly named after an abandoned Texas slaughterhouse, is notorious for releasing tools that allowed ordinary people to hack computers running Microsoft’s Windows. It’s also known for inventing the word “hacktivism” to describe human-rights-driven security work...

...There is no indication that O’Rourke ever engaged in the edgiest sorts of hacking activity, such as breaking into computers or writing code that enabled others to do so. But his membership in the group could explain his approach to politics better than anything on his resume. His background in hacking circles has repeatedly informed his strategy as he explored and subverted established procedures in technology, the media and government.

“There’s just this profound value in being able to be apart from the system and look at it critically and have fun while you’re doing it,” O’Rourke said. “I think of the Cult of the Dead Cow as a great example of that.”

https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2019/03/it-turns-out-beto-orourke-stole-phone-service-pirated-software-as-a-kid/ said:
As "PsychedelicWarlord," O'Rourke spent most of his time posting thought-provoking essays, song lyrics from punk albums, and the occasional poem.

So, uh, as a citizen of the US who wants to be an informed voter, I guess it's my civic duty to read this 80's teenager's poetry. One sec, let me check the copyright notice...

The Song of the Cow by Psychedelic Warlord (aka 2020 US presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke) said:
Code:

(c)1988 cDc communications by Psychedelic Warlord 5/5/88-50 All Rights Worth Shit

I think that says more about the poem than the poem itself. And I guess publishing poetry in plaintext was, and for all I know still is a major facet of certain sects of hackers. And all the poems in my own poetry collection are displayed as plaintext. And I might've called myself an anarchist in the author's notes for my poem "A Bright And Sunny Day". And I might've mentioned in a review that I used to code.

I might need to explain some things.

I've already been honest about my political beliefs. Quick synopsis; I believe the root of almost all of modern society's problems — inequality, discrimination, censorship, crime, climate, whatever — it all stems from over-concentration of political and social power. I'm oversimplifying, but you're not here for a political essay. Check out my other poems if you want to know more.

As for programming, the interest started when I was a kid. I've always wanted to make games when I saw third gen Pokémon's use of tilemaps and thought "I can paint tiles!" I was tricked into learning programming fundamentals via Timesplitters 2's Mapmaker, where I trial-and-errored my way into learning "boolean logic“, AKA "computer baby talk" (IF I press this button AND I haven't set off the alarm THEN the door opens). I didn't know I was programming at the time — to me, it was just another level efitir — but when I spent a week in high school taking an online course in Python programming (not provided by the school, of course), everything just clicked. Well, clicked enough. Computers never "just click", because they're all spiteful personifications of over-literal stupidity. But I wanted to make games, so I soldiered on.

After that, I bounced around different scenes. I've modded Bethesda Softwork's The Elder Scrolls V and Fallout 4, I created scripted mods for Berserk Game's Tabletop Simulator. I tried incorporating my programming skills into writing via interactive fiction; if you ever want to write a text adventure, I'd recommend Squiffy as the programming language of choice. From there, I picked up some Javascript and HTML knowledge writing unofficial add-ons for them interaction fiction I was trying to writes. I even entered a game jam once, where I was given two weeks to make a game but stopped halfway due to pressure ("the crunch"). And I, uh...

...maybe I hacked some games. And maybe those games started with "Poké".

I was never interested in cheating. My house didn't have wifi connection at the time, so trading hacked 'mons never even occurred to me. No, I wanted to turn Pokémon games into something new. New gameplay, new region, new story. I wanted to make games, and at the time, Pokémon hacking seemed like the easiest route.

But there was ethical line I wasn't comfortable with. Pokémon isn't open-source software; you can't just peak in and view the developer's code. You have to reconstruct it, and from what I learned of the Pokémon hacking scene, that requires special software. Expensive software. Ludicrously expensive software. Software that's worth a lot more than Pokémon: FireRed in a used game store. Software me, a dumb kid, could never feasibly afford. If I wanted to be a Pokémon hacker that did more than ruin online trading, I needed to start pirating serious dollar signs. And so, I got out.

To this day, I still avoid piracy and copyright infringement, even if I believe our current copyright system is unfair. It gives too much power to those with copyright, stifling competition and encouraging monopolistic behavior (not that Nintendo has ever, I don't know, used their copyright to suppress creative fanworks). But I also believe no one should be forced to put themselves at personal risk.

Unfortinately, I'm finding myself moving closer and closer to a the tipping point, where in order to have a fulfilling existence I need to pirate. And I'm worried society is coming with me. That's why I prefer open-source and unrestrictive copyright licensing, that's why there's a Creative Commons license on this post, that's why I read the news each day so that I may learn where my vote should be cast. And that's why I don't support copyright infringement.

But man, hacktivism is soooooo cool.

Yeah, I'm a little conflicted. And my way of sorting through conflicting personal beliefs is (three guesses) poetry. And so, in a sorta-tribute to the Cult of the Dead Cow, I wrote the following.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Psych! It's a review.

Today on April Fool's, we will be analyzing "The Song of the Cow", a poem by about-16-year-old Psychedelic Warlord AKA yadda yadda you want context, read my author's notes. Thankfully, the author has graciously released their poem under the ARWS license, which (when combined with fair use exceptions) eliminates any risk of copyright infringement/defamation.

So, Psychedelic Warlord, let's inspect your first stanza, shall we?

Someone too young to smoke said:
Code:

1 I need a butt-shine, 2 Right now 3 You are holy, 4 Oh, sacred Cow 5 I thirst for you, 6 Provide Milk.

I must admit, the use of punctuation here to control the poem's rhythm is sublime. Poetry does not require the use of complete sentences, and so the author has many choices when ending a line. Do they use a comma? A period? Nothing at all? Here, we see how a comma at the end of a line implies no pause; hence, lines 1 and 2 flow as if they were one. Once the rhythm is established in the opening lines, lines 3 and 4 imply a similar rhythm, with the comma in line 4 implying a swing-like, jovial bounce. Clearly, this is the work of an experienced poet.

However, I must criticize the hard stop at the end of line 6. The period in combination with the syllable stress pattern disrupts any flow the poem has built up to this point. This is an amateurish mistake for a poem titled "The Song of the Cow", I'd say.

Now, onto to second verse.

Someone too young to drink said:
Code:

7 Buff my balls, 8 Love the Cow, 9 Good fortune for those that do. 10 Love me, breathe my feet, 11 The Cow has risen.

Let this be a lesson in the importance of keeping a consistent rhythm. The commas at the end of lines 7 and 8 and the period of line 9 implies a pacing that in no way matches the syllable stress patterns present in lines 10 and 11. In addition, it is of most importance that uo until this point, each line represented on bar of "song". Yet the comma usage of line 10 violates the established order. This rhythm could only be interpreted by one of those uncivilized "punk bands", who I'm sure the author knows have not place in the world of arrr-ht.

Someone too young to operate a motor vehicle without ruining my tulips said:
Code:

12 Wax my ass, 13 Scrub my balls. 14 The Cow has risen, 15 Provide Milk.

The simplicity of this verse is what gives it its shine. Lines 12 and 13 mirror lines 14 and 15. In both cases, the first line of the set ends in a comma, which we have already established implies continuation. The second line of each set ends in a period, we again we have established implies a pause. In addition, similar stress patterns between the two sets establishes a firm rhythm as the cow rises and provides milk. Simply superb craftsmanship.

Someone too young to be on my lawn said:
Code:

16 Oh, Milky wonder, sing for us once more, 17 Live your life, everlusting joy. 18 Thrust your hooves up my analytic passage, 19 Enjoy my fruits

It appears the author is experimenting with longer line lengths. While I do not hold a grudge against the extension of any man's lines, I do believe they are an awkward fit in this situation. Clearly, the preceding stanzas gave an impression of a certain line length, and to be thrust upon with longer lines than expected is a shock for this critic. It disrupts the established rhythm created by lines 12 through 15, which is clearly most unorthodox.

However, I appreciate the author's understanding that their passage is analytic, and thus ripe for further analysis. Let's venture deeper into their passage.

Someone too young to understand the sacrifices I made in 'Nam and why I needed that draft exemption said:
Code:

20 Provider of Cheese and other wonderful dairy products, 21 We will cleanse your inner intestines. 22 We will bathe in your Pungent Odor, 23 Gather cotton.

Over the course of this stanza, the length of each line declines. Line 20, for instance, is so fat and dense that it cannot be easily digested. Attempting to apply a rhythm to this is impossible due to its overbearing presence. This sets the stage for the rest of the stanza, where confusing line ending leave the reader unsure of how to proceed. Continued consumption of this poem is likely to clog needed receptors. Brain receptors, of course.

However, in a show of skill, the author understands the reader's exhaustion and finishes their song with one final hurrah:

Someone too young to understand dick jokes aren't funny said:

Code:

24 Count my eyes,
25 Smell my skin,
26 Love the Scarecrow and the Milkman.
27 I live only for eternity,
28 Thirst for the undrinkable.
29 Hold the heat, 
30 Praise the dough boy at the pizza shop.
31 Love the Oxen dung!

The final stanza is easily the longest, signaling an increased pace as the poem reaches its conclusion. While some pacing mistakes are repeated, at this point, the increase of tempo allows minor rhythmic transgressions to be overlooked as the reader enjoys the poem's conclusion.

The final line is shit, though.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

...so this is the part where I'm supposed to say "please comment or review", but I think I created a reviewer's minefield here. So, uh...you do you?

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 4, 2019

Michael

"This one's for the family name
I'll wear it to the grave"

—Dropkick Murphy's, "Rose Tattoo"

TEEN Content Warning: Graphic depiction of mental illness, including prescription medication. Uncomfortable imagery of a physical medical problem. Some strong language.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Recently, for copyright reasons, I've had to disclose my location. Which means I get to complain about a bunch of local problems that don't affect the wider world...except I'm mostly content with my home state of Massachusetts. (pronounced "Mah-sah-choo-sihts"). And by "mostly content", I mean "we're not Rhode Island!"

Ah, Rhode Island. A state whose citizens lampooned it's own tourism campaign. A state that financed the joke of a video game developer 38 studios, leaving its taxpayers on the hook for $75 million dollars. And a state that gave me an EBT card with the wrong middle name.

Had to adjust the color balance to make the black text on dark blue background visible to my crap phone camera. Struck out personally identifying info and cleaned metadata for safety reasons. Otherwise, image is unedited.

Yup. I've already mentioned I'm receiving professional mental healthcare, and part of that horribly-confusing-and-bloated package is an army of social workers. Except they're all from different agencies and departments. And no one can seem to get in contact with each other. And in the mix of all this, I was taken across the Mahsahchoosihts border to the lovely city of Providence, Rhode Island to apply for food assistance. Or something. I'm still not sure what we applied for, or why we applied for anything in a state where I'm not a legal resident. But after a lovely visit to the Department of Human Services, I was issued a worthless piece of plastic I didn't dare touch for fear of committing benefits fraud. Taxpayer dollars hard at work!

In all seriousness, this residency confusion sapped two months of my life away. I spent those months doing many productive things such as nothing. And when you're doing nothing, all you're doing is thinking.

Have I talked about my favorite Pokémon game, Pokémon XD: Gales of Darkness? Yes? Well, I'm talking about it again. I got that game from Santa one year with no context. I thought that game was the future of the franchise. Full 3D, a more in-depth battle system, a plot-driven storyline with narry a Gym Badge in sight. It was radical, and I admit, kid me had trouble with some of the changes (catching your Pokémon during trainer battles? Pokémon that disobey your commands?), but the game has aged like a fine wine. What were once flaws are now engaging nrw ideas that exploit the full potential of the Pokémon battle system (do I go for the KO, or do I risk throwing a Pokéball? Do I take a precious turn comforting my Pokémon, or do I push them to the limit and risk harming them myself?). While it's far from a masterpiece — my most recent reply left me begging for sidequests — I'd rather replay XD than any Game Freak title. Because in the mainline Pokémon games, Pokémon are just pieces of code that thoughtlessly execute your commands. In XD, from their dripping-with-personality animations to the closest the franchise has gotten to a loyalty system that matters, Pokémon are real.

Little did I know that Pokémon XD had a predecessor. A much more successful predecessor, at least in sales figures. And so what I thought was the future was in reality a instant relic. The development studio shifted gears towards some weird Gen 4 "Stadium Lite" companion game that similarly undersold, and then employees were laid off until just a shell was left. Seeing my childhood heroes reassigned to Pokémon: Typing Adventure is...angering? Depressing? Like the world I was excited to exist was replaced by social workers and existential dread?

I love Pokémon. Just not official Pokémon. The games never matured, falling deeper and deeper into feature-bloated incoherent nonsense and stereotypically bad anime tropes (Q: how can you tell if a female NPC is important in a modern Pokémon game? A: Measure their breasts). I was left behind in 2005, longing for a future that never came to pass. And outside of the Pokésphere, as I slowly became aware of how "special" I was, I continually failed to cope. Every day was a reminder I was predestined for failure, for EBT cards and mental hospitals, and all I wanted was to be a naive child again. One that could see a corporate product like Pokémon as an innovative and boundary-pushing franchise willing to take risks. A franchise where fictional beings were made real, with all that rabble about gameplay balance and stat spreads ignored for the sake of credibility. A franchise where everyone was special, and it didn't matter. A franchise that didn't contradict its own themes through its own mechanics, because who cares? It's just a kid's game.

In Pokémon XD, the default name for the player character is Michael.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: They gave me capsules and I don't know what to do with them-
2: They're prescription Trintellix, bottled antidepressents
3: But I've lost my insurance, I can't get a refill
4: And I'm scared, of, side, eff, ects;
5: I haven't taken them in months

6: Should I start up again, or should I let them go?
7: I don't what these capsules do to my body
8: But the panic isn't fading away anymore
9: But the capsules aren't working anymore-
10: I don't know what to do

11: The last time I felt the effects of medication
12: The nurses and police were pinning me to a gurney
13: They took a syringe and stuck it deep in my ass check.
14: And then, I felt calm;
15: And my neck twitched

16: A single muscle decided to have a small seizure
17: And it thought I would better if I twisted my head off
18: I waited an hour in the ER.
19: For an antidote.
20: It was a capsule

21: After the drive home
22: I went to my room
23: And I played Pokémon
24: And I felt better
25: My name was Michael

26: Ever since that day, medicine didn't work
27: They'd shuffle me around SSRI capsules
28: Like clockwork; And sometimes I'd forget to take my pills
29: I'd check the bottles and forget if I took them already that day
30: I couldn't tell, anymore.

31: A few years after the medicine stopped working
32: I got committed for a panic attack
33: This was my second asylum
34: The first one didn't make me any better
35: But they discharged me anyway, the insurance company
36: Didn't want to pay, so they pressured the hospital
37: To release me.
38: And here I am.

39: And they said, "the second one would be different"
40: And it was, now I had stress hallucinations
41: There were all these little monsters following me around
42: They wanted me to get better, but there was nothing they could do
43: Because they weren't real.
44: My name isn't Michael.

45: One week:
46: Insurance had approved for me
47: One week into my stay the doctor called my name
48: I didn't tell him about the monsters.
49: He discharged me that day.

50: After the drive home
51: I went to my room
52: And I played Pokémon
53: And I felt better
54: My name was Michael

55: My social worker got me an EBT card
56: But the DHS computers messed up
57: They copied soneone else's middle name to mine
58: And put it on my EBT card
59: It's right there, I see it
60: It's real this time, it's just a mistake
61: It doesn't mean anything, it's just a mistake
62: It's just a mistake, it's just a mistake

63: The card says
64: My name is Michael-

65: I'm not him!
66: I'm my own!
67: I'm not him!
68: I have no monsters
69: I'm not him!
70: Leave me alone!
71: You aren't real!
72: But you're so kind

73: I'd wish you'd leave
74: I'd wish you'd go
75: I'd wish you'd leave
76: I wish you were real

77: You're not real!
78: You're not real!
79: You're not real

80: To anybody else

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Just in case there's any confusion; this poem is me intentionally playing up my crazy side. Think "inspired by a true story", not "based on a true story". As for what parts are real...no comment.

Feel free to comment on my lack of comment, or anything else. All criticism is welcome. Really. I mean it. Truly. You can trust me.

Muhahahahahaha!

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 9, 2019

badpoem

"Because what else do you really get out of life other than happiness from someone else?"

—hobo johnson, "peach scone (OFFICIAL real professional music video)"

~~EVERYONE Content Warning: Playful ribbing at grammar nazis.~~
BIG BOI CONTENTS: mad diss track yo

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

hello this iz badpoem itz bad. badpoem is bad becauze it iz wrong. life iz wrong. badpoem iz life.

badpoem do not like grammah. grammah is tool, not rule. like hammer. but grammah is also like hammah because it iz weapon. hammahing everythin iz bad and brakes things, like skullz. grammahing everythin iz bad and brakes things, like logic. but people say grammah is rational because itz needed for u 2 understand. which is why u cant understand thiz sentenze. it dont have grammah; therefore, it bad. rational!

but rationalitee have problem cause it dont exist. humans have mind problems. you human. i human. mind problems! have you ever had therapist? i have therapist. it nice. also, everyone in my life needz therapist but wont. they think their rational. they not.

badpoem rejects grammah because grammah is misunderstood (very sad for grammah, plz give hugs). language evolves faster than grammah rulebooks. we have emojis now

but no 1 writes with emojis

why not? because reasons. i want emoji writing!

we need new grammah. grammah that understands it just a tool. grammah used to built words. words are art. art is the strongest tool of all. it like drug; it changes brain. brain changes are scary. art is scary. but some brain changes are good! learning is brain change. so is biasing. art can do both. art must be critiqued. art must be researched. art must be learned. or art do scary things.

badpoem forgot grammah. it don't forget art.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: i pity the poor critics they get very very livid
2: "your tale iz so much erry-rational! You should be institutionaled!"
3: my friend could you pretend that you are not an alien
4: do you claim that your poor brain iz not a blender of fun chemicals?-

5: GO!

6: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA
7: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA

8: but i digress i must confess my punktuation iz not the best
9: i can't compete theyre oh-so-neat, parenthethis and everything!
10: (improper use of curvy things is gueranteed to doom something)
11: and if yous can learn dem rules you have a tool to dizmizz anythings!

12: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA
13: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA

14: and why can't i spell pökēmôñz? go give dat e a line up top
15: and crook it like itz hanging from the rooftop with an east-y breeze
16: just copy it like me i'm so smart yo can't u see mommy?
17: why won't you just be proud of me my fanfics make me much money OH WAIT

18: [waiting]

19: [waiting]

20: [waiting]

21: [waiting]

22: [waiting[

23: ]waiting|

24: |waiting¡

25: /waiting±

26: ¿waiting$$£

27: stop waitin!-
28: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA
29: NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA,
30: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWH!
31: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWH!

32: NA, NA-NA, NA-NA, NA-NA!
33: NA, NA-NA, NA-NA, NA-NA!
34: NA, NA-NA, NA-NA, NA-NA!
35: NA, NA-NA, NA-NA, toot

36: Oh, I-piddy, da criiiiitics, that are most, inane (hey!}
37: messaging is never something that yulh see em complane (hey!}
38: thair're worrying about their wording (hey!}, no attention to theyre meaning (hey!}
39: their're the mo' (hey!} rational (hey!} of personalh (hey!} see productry (hey!} no artistry! (hey!}

40: (hey!} (hey!} (hey!} (hey!}
41: (hey!} (hey!}
42: Doo–doo, doo, doot

43: medium's (hey!} mas sahging (hey!}, and they're worry'n (hey!} bout comma-hs (hey!}
44: medium's (hey!} mas sahging (hey!},, and their worry'n (hey!} bout comma-hs (hey!}
45: medium's (hey!} mas sahging (hey!},,, and there worry'n (hey!} bout comma-hs (hey!}
46: medium's (hey!} mas sahging (hey!},,,, all the chemicals in you braaaaaain

47: chemicalhs in you braaaaaihn
48: chemicalhs in you braaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhnnn
49: chemicalhs in you braaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn
50: bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn

51: but, i-see, ur-too, smarts, for that (do-doot, doot, doot}
52: no-one, evah, falls, for that (do-doot, doot, doot}
53: okey dokey! good luck with dat! :P

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

i not you. but if i were you, i wouldn't review grammah. unless itz a list of every grammah mistake i made, thad be hilarious. plz review artistic integrity plz. thank yoo!

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 14, 2019

Let's Be Happy

"Fantasy is a natural human activity. It certainly does not destroy or even insult Reason; and it does not either blunt the appetite for, nor obscure the perception of, scientific verity. On the contrary. The keener and the clearer is the reason, the better fantasy will it make...For creative Fantasy is founded upon the hard recognition that things are so in the world as it appears under the sun; on a recognition of fact, but not a slavery to it."

—J.R.R. Tolkien, "On Fairy Stories"

EVERYONE Content Warning: Sesame Street is more hard-edge than this. Prepare for corniness. Though it might tug the heartstrings of a certain type of Pokémon fan.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Until now, most of my poems have been about how Pokémon has affected my life, rather than about Pokémon itself. Even when I do write about Pokémon media, it's been to voice criticism rather than praise. So for my tenth poem, I wanted to explain why I love Pokémon.

For all it's faults, I love Pokémon. I love it the point of worry, where I'm scared the franchise might leave me behind. Because Pokémon has gotten the closest of any mainstream media franchise to being an all-inclusive utopia. And by whatever's out there, I'm not sure I would even be alive if I didn't have that vision. Or rather, I worry what kind of person I would've become without Pokémon. I worry what the world would've become without Pokémon.

There are a lot of people smarter than me that can break down Pokémon's success. They'll tell you how collecting 'em all triggers a positive response in the brain, how the social aspect of trading let the franchise spread like wildfire, how supplementary media like the anime served both as a tutorial for the games as well as a way to build hype for new releases. But I never watched the anime, I've made maybe one in-person trade over my entire life, and I've never come close to collecting 'em all. For me, it was always the vision, the idea of being independent, of being in a world full of mysteries and challenges that you can overcome. This was and still is oddly isolating; while I've personally know people that like Pokémon, I've never heard them speak of its vision, its values, its beliefs. And if they do, it's to mock how naive the franchise is. I stay silent, because in a way, they're right.

And then I play Pokémon: Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky at the age of 22, and I cry.

There are so many problems with the Pokémon: Mystery Dungeon series. It's one ring above Teletubbies on the maturity ladder. It is at many times naive. But it's also the clearest, most distilled vision of Pokémon's core themes. For such a childish premise, Chunsoft bled its heart and soul into those games, taking the premise and playing it straight as can be. They challenged it, sure — the tears I shed for Explorers of Sky came as the premise was at its most self-defeating, where flaws in my cherished vision boiled over the surface. But more often than not, Explorers of Sky kept itself internally consistent. The vision held up, and for a game taking place in a fantasy world, there were all too many moments where that vision seemed obtainable.

I sincerely believe Explorers is applicable to reality, perhaps not literally, perhaps not in its execution, but in its beliefs, its values, its core themes. This sure ain't my longest poem, these definitely aren't my cleverest rhymes, but it comes from the heart. And I'm overdue to write this.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: bum bum BUM BUM bum bum BUM bum, bum BUM BUM bum bum BUM bum
2: bum bum BUM BUM bum bum BUM bum, bum BUM BUM bum bum BUM-

3: Let's be hap, py, for, a, bit
4: Imaginations unchained, we're i, deal, ists
5: No, this ain't our world, but we ain't gonna quit
6: Let's go and explore and live, in, our, vis, ion!

7: Oh, let's be hap, py, for, a, bit
8: No, we ain't a team, of, op, tim, ists
9: But we ain't fading away, we have a right to live
10: We're born a lottery ticket, let's not waste it!

11: No, let's be happy;
12: Let's be happy;
13: We can be happy;
14: Let's be happy;

15: No we ain't, got, much-
16: But another tomorrow's always coming for us
17: Whether we want it or not, the world will go on,
18: Might as well take the wheel, no, we ain't gonna stop!

19: Maybe I'm a bit, romantic
20: But I prefer the en, light, en, ment-
21: This ain't an anthem for ignorance; we're making fixes-
22: But there's a core of gemstones, we'll be, polishing!

23: Oh, let's be hap, py, for, a, bit
24: Imaginations unchained, you bet we're using it
25: No, this ain't our world, but we're taking it
26: Let's go and explore and live; we, have, a vision!

27: Oh, let's be hap, py, for, a, bit
28: We ain't the perfect team, but we're completionists
29: We can take one min, ute, to craft, our vision
30: We're born a lottery ticket, let's not waste it!

31: Oh, let's be happy;
32: Let's be happy;
33: We can be happy;
34: We've found a world that's happy;

35: Let's be happy.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

I think this poem ended up saying a lot more than I consciously wanted it to say. But I think I like what my subconscious was pulling at. If there's one poem so far I'm most open to criticism on, it's this. It's always appreciated, but something inside me really wants a second opinion here. So, for this poem only, I'm willing to review something of yours to roughly the same depth you review this poem. I'm not expecting a flood of requests, but just in case, I may need to rescind this offer and set a "first come, first serve" policy. Anyone reading and in the mood to review, now's your chance to score one too!

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 17, 2019

It's Your Fault

"The stories we tell and the games we play have an effect, otherwise people would not bother with the whole undertaking..."

—Director/Producer of Goldeneye N64 Martin Hollis (via interview with Simon Parkin), "Shooters: How Video Games Fund Arms Manufacturers"

TEEN Content Warning: A rather pitiable example of victim blaming. A couple f-level curses. Themes in the sphere of politics. Possibly disturbing imagery.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Oh, boy. That last poem made me feel like I'm losing my edge. And I think I might be; despite my best efforts, I couldn't in good conscious pump this poem up to MATURE. This poem's scarily powerful corporate shill narrator struck me as just too pitiable to cause chills. Which I like, but it didn't come out as hard edge as I was expecting. Or perhaps I'm just desensitized and underrating this poem. Following the game industry has left me numb.

Have I mentioned I wanted to be a game developer growing up? It wasn't a fleeting dream. I just kept looking deeper and deeper into how the sausage is made, and now I'm retreating in fan fiction. Reports like Simon Parkin's investigation into gun manufactures dictating the content of games via copyright or an ensemble of Reuter's journalists recapping various governments and NGO's attempts to use video games as propaganda just make me want to curl up. And play Pokémon, though even that puts some moral burdens on my shoulders. I've talked about them in previous poems; this ain't a topic I enjoy repeating.

That said, of the the franchises I grew up with, Pokémon's endured the most scrutiny. For all the faults in the sausage factory, I stand by my previous poem. I like Pokémon, I love Pokémon, but I've found myself growing more and more distant from "official" Pokémon products. I haven't kept up with the core series outside of a Nuzlocke stream of Pokémon: Moon. There hasn't been any spin-off titles that've gotten me excited (except one). It's a weird combination of both the core series ever-so-slightly shifting style and a growing recognition I'm in love with a corporate product. And that product doesn't live me back. I don't think it even loves itself. It just exists, because it can.

It's Your Fault was an experiment. The poem is rather bluntly narrated by a corporate-backed writing trying and failing to justify their life choices. I didn't exactly know how this poem would end or what I might gain out of it, and in the end, I don't think I've gained much. To me, it's redundant info. And I write these poems to help me better understand myself, what I believe. Perhaps find answers to personal vexes. And despite my best attemot, It's Your Fault achieved none of that.

Perhaps that's the point. That there is no answer from within. That my guilty pleasures can't be uncoupled from their guilt. But damn me if I won't stop trying.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

1: It's, your, fault
2: You shouldn't of listened to me
3: No, I ain't, your, friend
4: But I made you believe
5: Whatever, I, need
6: I can make you think
7: With some beautiful words
8: And allegory
9: I took, a, con, tract
10: I'm a licensee
11: They don't, have, eth, ics
12: But they have money!
13: And who would I be?!
14: If I didn't agree?!
15: Guess what, dumb fuck?!
16: I'm in your identity!

17: No it ain't, my, fault
18: You shouldn't of listened to me
19: You had ev, ery, chance
20: Not to believe
21: But, you didn't, want, to leave
22: Our identity
23: You were, too, weak
24: You needed me
25: So, of course, I did
26: Some nasty things
27: Yeah it ain't, so fair
28: That's reality!
29: And who would I be?!
30: If I didn't agree?!
31: Guess what, dumb fuck?!
32: I made your identity!

33: Don't, you blame me
34: You shouldn't of listened to me
35: My words, sound, so, nice
36: But this world runs on greed
37: I can make you cry
38: Twisting your feeble mind
39: Of course, it's, all, a lie
40: Art, weaponized!
41: And, you wandered, like, a fool
42: Into, my firing line!
43: You weren't, my target, per se
44: It's just, my, workday
45: I gotta family to feed!
46: Where's my, sym, pa, thy?!-

47: This world runs on greed!
48: This world runs on greed!
49: This world runs on greed!
50: And I'm winning, you see?

51: Why aren't you looking at me?
52: Give me what I seek
53: I have your identity
54: Give me what I seek!

55: It's, all, your, fault
56: You allowed me to be
57: And now, I have, the big, gest house
58: And it's all emp, ty
59: But I've found mean, ing
60: In taking your things
61: Because it's, your, fault
62: And revenge is sweet

63: Justice is sweet.
64: Justice is sweet-
65: I serve, jus-tice sweet.
66: The world is just

67: The world is just.

68: The world is just.

69: The world is just.

70: It needs to be.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

Why isn't this poem creepy? Why am I sad for the narrator? Why isn't this scary? AAAAAAAAAAAA

I have many questions. It's highly possible I'm desensitized. A review would be much appreciated. Free cookies!*

Snuggle Tier List · Apr 22, 2019

The Devil's Work

"Everyone is familiar with instances of propaganda through fiction. What is one man's amusement, teaches another's doctrine."

—US Supreme Court Justice Stanley Forman Reed, "Winters v. People of State of New York (1948)"

MATURE Content Warning: Blasphemous. Political. Some derogatory language. Depicts intense violence and abuse to the point of horror.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

I've written poems about faith. I've written poems about corporations. I think it's time I wrote about their baby. Or at least, the one I'm afraid of.

For those of you outside the United States, you probably don't fully grasp our concept of religion. We aren't the most spiritual country in the world, but a certain portion of our population is spiritually...intense. And these people tend to be extremely "civic". Their lives revolve around their faith, and a select few individuals have learned to leverage that.

Enter the megachurch. I'm not sure if other countries run television ads for churchs, but I just saw one today during a not-insignificant time slot. They're easy enough to ignore, but just because you ignore them doesn't mean they aren't active. There are people getting rich off of people's faith, and they have turned it into art.

For this poem, I wanted to focus on a narrow set of Christian sects: the preachers of Revelation 20:1-6:

20:1 And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand.

20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,

20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.

20:4 And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.

20:5 But the rest of the dead lived not again until the thousand years were finished. This is the first resurrection.

20:6 Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.

These passages have inspired apocalypse-focused sects of Christianity that, at their best, make wild predictions about the end of the world. At their worst, sects actively attempt to manipulate political policy in an attempt to instigate the Rapture, because they believe they will reign "with Christ a thousand years". These sects are collectively known as Millennialism, and they make their voices heard.

Let me illustrate with just one example. I'm not sure how many Pokémon fans have read Left Behind, but those books are incredibly influential, spawning endless sequels, movies, and even a video game (Left Behind: Eternal Forces, and it is baaaaaaaaad). They're fictional tales based on Millennialist beliefs, and they're money printing machines:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_Behind said:
Multiple books in the series have been on the New York Times Bestseller List. Starting in 2000, Books 7 and 8 reached number one on the list followed by book 10, which debuted at number one.[4] Total sales for the series have surpassed 80 million copies.[5] Seven titles in the adult series have reached #1 on the bestseller lists for the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly.[3]

Point being, Millennialism is influential. People gobble this stuff up. Yet the source material, Revelation 20:1-6, is incredibly short, totaling 214 words. Basing your entire religious belief on such a short section of your canon, let alone taking it literally and without historical context, is probably not the wisest life decision. You can't just ignore the entire rest of the bible, and even if you could, you have to justify your choice of bible against the ever-increasing translations of the "original" bible, which unfortunately was written in Hebrew. Imagine playing telephone for about two millennia, and then basing your life on 214 words without examining context. There's a reason theology exists, and even if you rule out the possibility of non-Abrahamic religions, to see people extrapolate from so few words is...troubling.

As you might expect, basing your life on vague words without context has drawbacks. The very vagueness invites charismatic pastors to build huge followings, and the kind of people that don't research context are the type of people easily conned of their money. As someone who struggles with mental illness, I don't think humanity will ever be perfectly rational, but on a self-interest level there should at least be an attempt.

I don't think I have to charisma to convince a Millennialist to seek other beliefs. All I can do is say I'm scared. I worry Millennialism is trickling down into my community. I worry people in my community might not be practicing the religion they claim to believe. And I worry just how much confidence people put in charisma alone. Because there's one being more charismatic than any human, and I'm not talking about God.

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

I

1: You say you preach the bible
2: But you don't look like an annnnngeeeeeellllll
3: You must be a whiskey priest
4: 'Cause you're wearing your cross upside doooowwwwn
5: You say you preach the bible
6: But you're reading from inffffeeerrrnnnoooo
7: My friend, you don't need to–be, a–de, mon
8: To do the devil's work for him-

9: Reverend Thomas slammed his palm against the Bible again
10: His congregation clapped their hands, to the beat of his hymm
11: Oh-how the sinners would be punished, by the words of Thomas
12: No more would Christans have to suffer per! Sa! Cu! Tion!
13: By governments, 'them politicians, all secular pigs!
14: The millennium is imminent! To rancorous applause
15: The Thomas spirit evident in every soul in that hall
16: While the FBI monitored Thomas's calls

II

17: Reverend Thomas preached to thousands, true superstar
18: He loved the fame, he loved the gains of working hard
19: From his yacht in L.A., jacuzzi full of "broads"
20: Each and every alter girl had their personal scars
21: Of a man who loved the fame for the power it brought

22: Reverend Thomas loved to sip from the blood of Christ
23: And then the paper ran a story, more journalist lies!
24: His congregation, with a mission, took a trip to the Times
25: Each and every son, stone in hand, target in mind

III

26: David Freeman went to church, ev, ery, Sun, day
27: Just a local little parish preaching what God say
28: And on his sprint back to his car he heard the rhythmic chimes
29: Of the spirit of the devil, voice of thralls enshrined
30: David Freeman prayed their souls, might, one-day be saved
31: And then the ones devoid of sin threw their stones at him

IV

32: Reverand Thomas gave a speech through the television
33: He offer prayers for the soul of poor Mr. Freeman
34: As a show of good will, Reverend Thomas
35: Would conduct his funeral for free! On T, V!
36: And then the family-of-David Freeman rejected Thomas

37: Reverend Thomas like the fame, and the power it brought
38: Don't say no, to a man, with tens of thousands of thralls
39: The family of David Freeman made funeral plans
40: While just outside their mobile home, protestors, chanting

V

41: Reverend Thomas dodged the charges like a snake in the grass
42: You can try to catch a snake, but the snake bites back
43: Prosecution fell from grace, defense's attorney
44: Knew the jury felt the gospel of prosperity

45: Reverend Thomas walked away a free man that day
46: And so Thomas would remain until he's judged at the gates

~~------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

When I write these posts, I usually use the author's notes to present a rational argument. But while good poetry is rooted in reason, poetry isn't a research paper. It's emotional, it communicates intense feelings quickly, and I love it for that.

If there's one poem in this collection I'm most proud of, it's this. But regardless, I encourage comments and reviews, no matter how negative. I've been wrong before; perhaps I'm wrong again. And that is how I know I'm not following dogma.

MATURE: [AND TEEN] [AND EVERYONE] Snuggle's Grand Poetry Grab Bag

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What I tell you three times is true.

Member

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

What I tell you three times is true.

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