sonia's slumbering weald

[sleepwick]

kinda surprising at how good i'm sticking to consistently writing here recently, considering i'm generally bad in being in the routine of doing anything. i dunno, i don't have many updates to stuff i've been talking about prior for today. i've finished both video projects i was working on, i'm still stuck on that grookey hunt for my shiny living dex because i got demotivated by how long it was taking, and now i'm kinda stuck trying to decide what i wanna do next bc i'm done my current projects.

i was thinking about working on a seesaw x sonia solo fanzine, but then i need to decide if i wanna do it physical or digital, and also how long i want it to be, and if i am doing physical copies i'd need to do an interest check and learn how the process of shipping out stuff like that even works, and i think my anxiety would be acting up BAAD trying to do something like that. but we'll see, i'll probably start working on artwork soon for it then decide nearer the end if i do want it to be physical or digital, or maybe even both? i dunno.

my birthday is coming up soon, so i'm trying to choose between two ideas for art i want to commission for myself from one of my fav artists, either sordsoni aquarium date or art of my palentines day alts for them together. but there's another artist i'm considering for the palentines alts, but i think if that happens or not will depend on if i end up selling any commissions before my birthday, since i only really have money to commission one or the other right now. honestly, i woke up in kinda a bad mood today so i've been trying to hold myself back from commissioning the art for my birthday early, and to be fair there's only a couple of weeks left anyway so i might as well wait (for my birthday art i'm planning to go to fusenryo, who delivers same day as they accept the request on their skeb page)

i'm still waiting for 1 commission back, and i'm really excited for it but i am getting kinda antsy since it's nearing the deadline date for the request on skeb, so i imagine i'm probably going to wake up to it one of these days. lol

 

[sleepwick]

i've been kinda tired over the past couple of weeks. i dunno if i'd say i really think things r getting worse again but i'm just feeling rather up and down mood wise. it's just some pressure and stuff that i'm struggling with. i'm preparing to hopefully go back to college in august and get things back on track, but actually working on that application is just something i keep putting off, and i have a really REALLY bad habit of lying about things and saying i've already done them so i won't get scolded by my family or other people in my life for how much i hesitate and put things off.

i worry a lot about the future, so a huge majority of the time, i find it easier to live in the moment and just not think about it, even if that isn't really the best way to handle the stresses of life. i've always found it hard to pick up new things and adjust to them. when i first started attending college in person after my first year had been online, i struggled to get used to it but it became a lot easier once i was used to it. when i had my first ever job, i found it hard to get settled into it, but after a week or two i was starting to find it easy (but unfortunately, it didn't last long because the place shut down due to poor management)

to some extent, in my brain i find it hard to grapple with the necessity of getting a job. i'm in a kinda stage and mindset where i understand it's necessary to survive, but i don't like how much time it's going to inherently take away from me doing what i love until i can go through the proper studies and attempt to secure a job in the industry of art, if that even ever happens. but at the same time, i found that being in a job, while i had less time to draw, it actually weirdly motivated me to draw more. i think it was my brain trying to balance out how much i hated my job and how much it stressed me out because of how hands on it had me interacting with people and how badly it was affecting my physical health, but that was around the time i actually really got into making content for and talking about sordward/sonia as a ship, after i had been kinda quiet about it for a year or so out of fear that people would dislike it and think badly of me over it. obviously, even in that year or so i still occasionally posted them in a way that'd indicate that i viewed them romantically every now and again, but i really didn't gain the confidence to go public with it until i was just about to prep to start that job and made the decision to quietly do one of my many, many movings of social media accounts.

but anyway i dunno, some days i wish i'll just wake up and be able to make a living off of my art as is right now, but i know it's never going to be as easy as that. sorry, this one got kinda sentimental and sad but it was nice to write out just to get it off my chest; it feels kinda silly to admit how much comfort i find in dumb things such as drawing two fictional characters kissing, but i guess that's just the kind of person i am

 

[sleepwick]

3 days until my birthday and weirdly enough the dread that i was starting to feel before is kinda starting to go away. i still have a lot of weird complicated feelings about ageing and stuff, but i'm just trying to keep myself excited at the prospect of the celebration and the art i'm commissioning for my birthday. speaking of it's hard not to send that request through skeb early. i'm best just waiting because of fusenryo's very fast delivery time so i'll wake up to it on the 10th, but now that i have the request written out and all of my references compiled, it's really tempting to just send it early. but i've waited this long so i can wait a little longer! i'm excited to share it once i receive it on my birthday, as well as any other art i may possibly receive for it.

dunno if i ever posted it once i received it anywhere, but since i mentioned earlier in this thread that i was expecting art of my self insert oc, holly, and nessa back soon, here~! it was delivered sometime last week but i just forgot to post about it here.

Spoiler

art credit goes to osaosa_kouzyou on twitter!

 

[sleepwick]

it's been a while, but i'm back!

hopefully after taking a long break i'll finally get back to my swsh shiny livingdex project. i got demotivated majorly for it, bc of how long the hunt for that third grookey was taking, but i think i'm ready to go back to it now. maybe i would've sooner but i've been spending a lot of time playing the splatoon dlc. i'm having a lot of fun with it, and the ingame timer for the runs has partially got me back into speedrunning. no super insane runs yet, but hopefully i'll be working towards those 5 minute runs and stuff that i've seen on twitter.

i remember a while back i was kinda stressed about commissions bc i had taken on too many at the same time, and i ended up refunding two of them bc i didn't have the time or energy to work on them, but in recent times that i've reopened commissions i've been only taking on 1 or 2 slots at a time, and even if it isnt ideal financially it's been a lot easier for me to handle

i dunno what else to say here, maybe i'll write a longer post later talking about things but its 12pm and i've only been up for half an hour so my brain is fried

 

[sleepwick]

i went out with friends today for the first time in a while so i thought i'd write a little about today here! we went to glasgow which, despite living a relatively fast train ride away from(only around, half an hour i wanna say?) i rarely go to!

our first stop was this one store i wanted to go to bc they usually have the newest volumes of the pokemon manga even when other stores closer to me dont seem to yet, so i went there but i found out they also sold individual pokemon cards!! i was looking to buy sordward and shielberts eng fullart anyway, so i thought i'd shoot my shot there! i was super embarrassed when i told the cashier i was looking for fullarts of trainers i like and he asked who and i had to say sordward and shielbert >_< but i threw sonia in there for good measure as well! surprisingly, even though he was sure they had it it seemed they'd already sold it, which kinda surprised me (in a good way!!) woah whos the other scottish seesaw duo fan??? i wanna be friends with them!! but alas, even if i couldn't get seesaw's fullart i got that one boltund card with sonia on it which is super neat, bc that's one of my favs.

i didn't end up buying anything in other stores (aside from some pocky i just couldnt help but pick up) but it was a lot of fun to just walk around. and then the main highlight of the night, i'll spoiler tag it, but warnings for mentions of alcohol/drinking!)

Spoiler

the main reason for our trip was that it was a friends birthday recently, and he wanted to go to this bar. it was a really neat place, it was an arcade and a bar, and there were a lot of fun games. the interior was AWESOME. i can't emphasise it, i seriously wish i could've taken more photos of it, but it was all spraypainted and the lighting complimented it so well and made it a treat to look at. i wasn't planning to drink, but i ended up with two because my friend bought them and didn't like them. the cocktails in this bar are based on video game characters due to it also being an arcade, and the two drinks i tried were based on amy rose from sonic and kirby respectively! i have to say though, the kirby one was by far the best. it was really cool to look at even aside from the taste, they used one of those flashing colour changing ice cubes in it, infact i literally had someone ask me what cocktail it was because they were interested in it because of how it looked. probably one of the coolest places i've been in a long time, i just wish the place didn't open so late bc we left around an hour and a half after it opened >_< not that i mind bc i dont like being out too late anyway.

all in all i had a lot of fun! here's a photo i took a photo of my cards while i was out when we sat down to get something to eat!!

(hopefully i made the image small enough that its ok to include in the post, if not lmk and i'll spoiler it!)
also, we went to a five guys restaurant and they had crayons and paper to draw on and put on a corkboard, so i drew sordward and sonia and put them up there

 

[Blanc]

I’m happy to hear you had such a lovely time with your friends, Sonia! I also had a meetup with mine recently and it helped my mental state a lot, so I’m glad to see the prophecy is true for both of us (LOL). Congrats on your cards too! Pokemon card collecting is sooo addicting (and yes, I have the full art of my boys too). I recently bought that one with Reshiram surrounded by roses because it looked like an early 2000s gothic shoujo manga cover (you get the feel, right?)

Do you have a picture of the doodle you did at Five Guys also? I’d love to see!

 

[sleepwick]

I recently bought that one with Reshiram surrounded by roses because it looked like an early 2000s gothic shoujo manga cover (you get the feel, right?)

i hadnt seen this card until now but i get what you mean, the description is spot on! what a beautiful card.i need to look into collecting more pokemon cards, i just need to buy a binder or something for them first, cuz rn i mainly collect cards for trainers i like and display them in my room (though, i wanna get into toploader deco for my fav cards soon!)

was mostly a sordward doodle but there's a little sonia head cameo lol..drawing on such small paper is hard esp w crayons rather than a more precise pen or pencil.

Spoiler

 

[sleepwick]

ship weeks are my mortal enemy, because as much as i love them conceptually, they never wind up working out for me

maybe it's because i put working on stuff off, but to be fair i draw fast enough that under most circumstances, i'd be able to draw a piece each day no problem!

but it always seems like SOMETHING comes up. being busy with various appointments this week, and then yesterday i planned to finally catch up but i wound up getting really sick (i'm slightly better now, but the body aches r still BAD). i'm not even really upset about it, i just find it kinda funny how whenever i try to participate in a ship week a ton of irl stuff gets in the way no matter how much i prepare for it beforehand.

hopefully i'll catch up today, i was meant to be going out somewhere but considering how unwell i am im hoping i'll be able to cancel