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Steal-A-Cookie!

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"Hey, is that Wendy in a bikini?"
"Hey, is that Tepig stealing your food?"
I steal the cookie. I then clone the cookie 536392 times.
 
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After donating the cloned cookies to those in need of food, I steal the original cookie with a magical yo-yo.
 
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Distracting KM with a winter fanservicey anime with a complex plot, I quietly take the yo-yo and the cookie. I proceed to hungrily nom on the cookie.
 
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Before ^ can proceed with ^'s nom nomming, I take the cookie with one of TR's extending hand devices. and then enjoy it while watching said winter fanservicey anime
 
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*snatches the stale cookie, and places it in a well-guarded museum*
*silently walks away...*
 
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*genetically duplicates the cookie from a single remaining crumb outside the museum*

AHAHAHAHA!!! and people said my cookie machine was useless!
 
Volcano Pokémon
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*Steals the duplicated cookie, has Typhlosion destroy the machine and flies away on Latios*
 
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*Eats the Latios and throws the Typhlosion into a time portal, then assimilates the cookie into a computer guarded by many firewalls*
 
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*being an AI, I hack the computer with ease and withdraw the cookie*
*begins eating the cookie*
 
Ducks
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*Questions why an AI is after an edible cookie in the first place*
*Swipes a cookie from ^'s fridge while ^ is distracted by said question*
 
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*forcibly downloads his mind and consciousness into a computer, then patches this AI into Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric's ROM*

*grabs the cookie off of ^'s empty shell of a body*
 
¡Prepárate a morir!
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*Sneaks into ^'s house while ^ is too busy watching anime, and snatches it*

*Ignores the felonies I get*
 
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*Destroys the Death Egg through unscrupulous means and repairs the cookie cloning machine to make batches of the cookie*
 
Dancing With Myself
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I stick a decapitated finger in the machine, causing it to malfunction, then I steal the cookies and lock them in separate safes all around the world =D
 
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*uses the power of words to put the prefix 'un' in front of all the safes, making them unsafes*
*easily breaks into all of the unsafes and steals the cookies*
 
Cramorant respect
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*Gets Camerupt to use Fissure on Pikachu, then grabs the cookie (which seems to have gone singular again, else I guess the rest fell into the fissure), gets Camerupt to use Overheat to melt down the steel from the unsafes and create a fortress in which the cookie will be enjoyed at my leisure.*
 
Self-Necromancy
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I sent spies to hunt down the stolen cookie, and just after the cookie was stolen out, I sent airstrikes to destroy the fortress and went on to get the cookie.
 
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