- Joined
- Jan 2, 2010
- Messages
- 7,279
- Reaction score
- 3,147
Eye eye, it's been a while since I last saw a Caitlin on staff
Technical Accuracy/Style
There's a definite change in the style with both of you working on it. The prose is just a bit more polished, a bit more elegant. I would strongly suggest that Caitlin at least regularly beta if co-authorship is too much of a commitment
Story
A pretty classic slice-of-lifey sort of chapter, and just the sort I reckon the story needs here and there. The length of the whole thing was about right. Poking Andrea's story along in what would otherwise be a travel chapter is sensible use of the wordcount
Setting
Caves are always tricky, and I reckon there's a reason most of them end up looking even more generic than woods. Despite that, there's a decent attempt to give this location some texture, which I appreciate
Character
Andrea's cooking skills did make me double-take there. If you're going to retcon it then I say make it a full retcon and tweak the previous scenes so they fall into line. And I still maintain that Kimberly is the sorely-needed supporting character. I suppose I have a soft spot for casually girly-girl characters who don't get hung up on being feminine
Technical Accuracy/Style
There's a definite change in the style with both of you working on it. The prose is just a bit more polished, a bit more elegant. I would strongly suggest that Caitlin at least regularly beta if co-authorship is too much of a commitment
Story
A pretty classic slice-of-lifey sort of chapter, and just the sort I reckon the story needs here and there. The length of the whole thing was about right. Poking Andrea's story along in what would otherwise be a travel chapter is sensible use of the wordcount
Setting
Caves are always tricky, and I reckon there's a reason most of them end up looking even more generic than woods. Despite that, there's a decent attempt to give this location some texture, which I appreciate
Character
Andrea's cooking skills did make me double-take there. If you're going to retcon it then I say make it a full retcon and tweak the previous scenes so they fall into line. And I still maintain that Kimberly is the sorely-needed supporting character. I suppose I have a soft spot for casually girly-girl characters who don't get hung up on being feminine