MATURE: Stray

[OrionTheAbsol]

CHAPTER 10 review -

You mean chapter 12? lol

The purse snatchers attempt to turn the crowd against Orion actually didn't go as bad as I was fearing, it caused a lot of trouble, but even the initial law enforcement response was more measured than I expected, and things even got better from there, though it still ended up with Orion losing a lot more blood than he needs to right now.

He wasn't losing blood in that fight. It's more tied to the "lasting consequences and injuries" point you brought up before.

Though this won't be brought up in the context of the story itself, blood loss also means the loss of blood cells; so, weakened immune system and less oxygen/nutrients carried through his body. Orion also didn't have a meal yet, so he's running on very little energy and tiring out very easily. This is why Chloë and Doctor Froid advised him to take things slower. He needs time for his body to produce more blood cells.

But yes, if Hesh didn't get the attention of the Peacekeeper city guards, things would turn out a lot worse for the reckless Absol.

I was wondering who was formally furnishing all of Orion's medical treatment, but I basically forgot to bring it up before since it didn't seem important, but it turns out it was important, so here it is! And it didn't even come out of left field.

Froid (a Hypno) was the main doctor who performed the blood transfusion. Chloë was assigned to be his caretaker until he's ready to leave.

I'll be keeping an eye on this one for sure!

Thanks for writing!

Thanks for making it this far! Much appreciated!

 

[System Error]

- Wow Hesh raging pretty hard here dayum
- And here comes the clingy nurse
- Well a bit of a different side to her at least
- Famous last words, Hesh.
- That feel when fairies got hit with the nerf bat. I imagine in the past Lance was a hyper invincible champ
- Man these things are being talked up a ton all of a sudden. Haven't the shadows threatened them? Or...?
- Sudden argument between the guest characters
- Well it seems at least one other Poke in universe seems to think this Chikorita is a clingy yandere
- Wow that is suddenly a very young reply from Orion. Not my mom.
- And suddenly backstory somehow gotten from an unexpected source
- But Orion continues to not know. He may actually not know. That or he legendary stubborn. Or traumitized into forgetting
- Oho, getting spicy lore after all. Seems there is corruption all around.
- And conversationing in the next scene. Very slice of lifey indeed. How long will it last?? Who knows!
- Pokemon ages sure are weird. This leaf definitely felt younger
- Sudden lore about power generation being a thing
- Heh, the rumors about the mysterious things humans were able to do
- Well humans had weapons too. Some very dangerous to Pokemon like that sword. That lore was confirmed.
- 120 years ago? That disaster occured way sooner than expected. Makes me sus that there's more to it. Cause is 100% still around.
- Well either there were giant mechs or they are talking about cars
- Hospitals. They really are like prisons.
- And she openly admits to her clingy crush sort of
- The bronze bell? Better hope there's no underground empire seeking its power.
- SHE IS SETSUNA. SHE IS GUNDAM.
- Just up and selling evo items, huh? No gen 2, that's for sure.
- Emerald Valley's happenings are uncanny? You could say it is an uncanny valley, then.
- Build an army. Trust nobody.
- Have to wonder why all these antagonist factions haven't seemed to seriously clashed just yet. HM HM HM.
- Five years later when everyone is dead, Chloe continues to insist Orion needs to recover more despite ascending to become a physical god
- Man though imagine getting stuck with berries which might not taste anything like their human world expys.
- Oh so here is the fabled fight scene out of nowhere. A good target to vent frustrations!
- This dude doesn't know what he's fighting? Dumb crook indeed. Also sudden crowd hostility
- Well I was not expecting not Loudred to speak in all caps and it to speak normally
- And annoying nurse blames him for it. Peacekeeper, or peacenik?
- Well it seems not all the citizens are racist jerks.
- And a new named character who manages to get Orion off the hook at once
- Hoo boy and it seems there's a serial killer on the loose from the sounds of it
- The police seem like jerks too, since why wouldn't they be?
- Hm, wasn't expecting there to be that much side effects
- Based actual doctor knowing best over clingy worrywart nurses
- Well not based at all. It seems the Pokemon took the most evil thing of paid healthcare from certain secta of humanity. Even when they're gone their influence is still felt.
- This is a darkfic after all, crippling medical debt.
- TRUST NOBODY.

Welp. Even when people aren't dying, shit continues to get real. A thing some darkfics forget: doesn't have to just be about the blood and death. Nearly impossible to pay off debts, stuff I imagine hits close to home for some people. Easy to see why anyone would become a nihilist in this world. Wonder what he will do? Guess I'll find out next time.

 

[OrionTheAbsol]

- That feel when fairies got hit with the nerf bat. I imagine in the past Lance was a hyper invincible champ

Probably, if he commanded his own army of dragons. Though fairy and ice Pokémon will most certainly help here, they're up against numerous aerial, mobile targets. These are certainly no one-on-one matches in an arena. There will be two armies clashing with each other on a field, and the results will be very messy.

- Man these things are being talked up a ton all of a sudden. Haven't the shadows threatened them? Or...?

The Serapíans don't have to deal with the Shadows that often in their homeland. Plus their aerial troops have a major advantage over ground troops.

Now, if some of the Serapíans ended up being Shadows though...

- Sudden argument between the guest characters

Quarreling siblings.

- Wow that is suddenly a very young reply from Orion. Not my mom.

Shut up, mom! I'm trying to beat up Shadows!

- But Orion continues to not know. He may actually not know. That or he legendary stubborn. Or traumitized into forgetting

Does he or does he? Maybe. Probably. I guess we'll never know!

- Pokemon ages sure are weird. This leaf definitely felt younger

In touch with her inner child.

- Well humans had weapons too. Some very dangerous to Pokemon like that sword. That lore was confirmed.

Wait, which sword now? :/

- Emerald Valley's happenings are uncanny? You could say it is an uncanny valley, then.

That pun hurts my soul.

- And annoying nurse blames him for it. Peacekeeper, or peacenik?

Little of both.

- Well it seems not all the citizens are racist jerks.

Some came for the pure spectacle.

- Hoo boy and it seems there's a serial killer on the loose from the sounds of it

Just remember... I'm Sakahagi, and soon enough, I'll be the king of all demons.

- Hm, wasn't expecting there to be that much side effects

He's not quite getting the oxygen he needs. Also been a while since he last had a meal.

- Well not based at all. It seems the Pokemon took the most evil thing of paid healthcare from certain secta of humanity. Even when they're gone their influence is still felt.

As a Texan who did live without health insurance for a while, I can attest that the bills are utterly monstrous here. Like, criminally monstrous.

Welp. Even when people aren't dying, shit continues to get real. A thing some darkfics forget: doesn't have to just be about the blood and death. Nearly impossible to pay off debts, stuff I imagine hits close to home for some people. Easy to see why anyone would become a nihilist in this world. Wonder what he will do? Guess I'll find out next time.

Yeah. Also add in Orion's lack of family, homelessness and people treating him like shit. Hesh did once say, "When I look at you, I feel like you're just barely holding it together." Considering Orion's reaction in the ending, he is right in that regard. The Absol is just not having the best time. He is also reckless, cynical, paranoid and belligerent towards others. And he is pushing away the closest people he could call a "friend" at this point.

Then there's the politics regarding the Sol Council and the clans. With how things are going, Hevalkin is a mess and the Peacekeeper Alliance is faltering.

 

[OrionTheAbsol]

Chapter 13 - Destitute

Content Warning: Strong language, references to death and suicide​

---

The entrance hall echoed with activity as civilians and soldiers alike chattered amongst them

“Time to rise and shine, little one,” a baritone voice uttered.

A stout reptilian Pokémon shook the cub out of his slumber. Upon opening his eyes, the cub stared at the larger creature looming over him. Everything was blurry, but he could make out the faint outlines of a dreary room. He was lying on a firm bed made from coarse Stoutland fur. A scarce fragment of light flooded through the window behind the large Pokémon, and the stench of saltwater thickened the air.

I’m… here? No, this can’t be real...

“How are you feeling?” the beast asked.

The cub sat up, wincing from nausea and an intense headache. He eyed the thick shell covering most of the beast's body, working his way to the striped yellow-and-black ribbon tied around the beast's chunky neck. On it were four star patterns.

“It’s okay, little one,” the stout beast gently whispered as he patted the cub on the head. “You’re safe now. You don’t have to say much, but… if you understand me, please nod.”

The cub shyly wagged his head.

“Good, good. I’m sorry to bother you, but I have some questions. I’m trying to understand some things going on as of late. Especially in regards to what took place in Prospa.” The beast forced a husky sigh. “Where are your parents?”

The cub locked eyes with him, mute.

Why am I back here? Why is he here?

“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. Let me ask you this, then: what were you doing out in the woods by yourself? Did you get lost?”

The cub turned his head and stared at the wooden plank floor. He pondered for some time. But nothing came about.

“I… I don't know,” he squeaked.

The beast formed a smile on his scarred face. “Ahh, so you can speak after all. That’s good.” He slowly tilted his head, just enough for the cub to note the tenderness in his eyes. “So, nothing then? Do you even know what became of your clan?”

The cub dwelled on his questions for a moment. A shudder. “M-my head… hurts...”

The beast slanted his head, dejected. “Ohh, I see. You poor thing.” He cleared his throat and heaved a crackly sigh. “You… came here at an awful time. I don’t know how else to tell you this, but… life will be rough for you from this point on. Especially with what happened to your clan.” His tough voice quivered. “There are some strange creatures prowling about out there. And the Sol Council is on high alert.” He glanced at the entrance of the room, as if expecting someone to be standing there. “In fact, I’m not even supposed to have you over here right now. I... recently received an order to exterminate any Uncivilized Pokémon we come across. But I believe that you may be able to find a place here.” His tired eyes once again met the cub’s wide-eyed gaze. The little boy swallowed excessively. “I’ll put out a search party for your family. Don’t worry, no harm will come to them. Until then, I bid you welcome to our fine city of Lusang."

The cub timidly nodded and rested his chin on his bed.

"What's your name, little one?"

The cub stammered. "Uh… umm… ohh… ruh…?"

The beast's eyes narrowed. "It's okay. You don't have to remember right at this second."

The cub shut his eyes, whining, his migraine intensifying. "Oh… rin… oh… ree… en…" As if the rest of his body was remembering for him, the cub muttered in syllables. "Oh… roh…? Umm… ruh… Oh… rye… unn…"

The beast leaned closer. "Orion?"

The cub gasped. He remembered being called that before.

“Ahhhhh… I see. Like the hunter.” He beamed. "A fine name for a strong and courageous boy."

Me? Strong and courageous?

"You’ve done well to remember that. Somehow, I feel that you'll persevere. I hope you’ll find a peaceful life here." He bowed his weighty head and reached out his hand in a friendly gesture. "I'm General Typhon. I'm in charge of the Peacekeepers' military operations. You may have nothing right now, but we'll get you settled."

Settle here? No… you’re lying… you’ve been lying...

The cub raised one of his diminutive paws and rested it over Typhon’s three-clawed hand, noting that his own claws looked similar. The general tightened his grip; it was an oddly cozy feeling for the Absol cub. He was doubtful at first, but then felt his uneasiness dissolve. He felt secure.

He felt safe.

Over yonder, a distant bell chimed.

---

Orion released a long yawn and smacked his lips. From far away, he could hear the trills of the clock tower’s bell from outside. Through the window, the sky was a veneer of amber.

Is this… Emerald Valley? How long have I been out?

He arose from his bed and peered at the exit of his room. Neither Hesh nor Chloë had returned—not that he expected them to. Save for the chatter of people outside and the occasional coughs of nearby patients, the infirmary was as tranquil as a slumbering Whismur.

Laying next to the bedside was a wooden tray holding two slices of bread covered in pink berries. Orion nibbled on a slice, relishing its ripe, sugary flavor with a slight bitter aftertaste. Nanab berry.

Orion swallowed the remains of the slice. His stomach grumbled, begging for more, but he hesitated to touch the other slice. The bread was delicious, but he felt like he didn’t earn it. He rested his head on the bed once more, lost in thought. Damn. Now what? How did I lose control of this situation so easily?

It was meant to be a simple enough job: escort whatever survivors he was able to find. Payment in advance. Bring them over to Emerald Valley, then get out. Job fulfilled.

With that kind of money, Orion could’ve afforded his own food and inn stays, and whatever tools he could've used on the battlefield. Perhaps he could even find a permanent place to settle in, then turn his fighting ability into a renewable source of income like a real mercenary. 50,000 lucitas would’ve been a good start.

But things didn't quite turn out that way.

What made you continue with the mission? Orion remembered that question from the Roselia, Lieutenant Riko. He also recalled that even Hesh at some point asked why Orion simply didn’t take off with the money.

His expression gnarled. What kind of amoral scum do you people take me for? I’m just fulfilling the job based on the captain’s wishes, so I can earn my pay. Nothing more.

Orion pushed the tray with the last slice of Nanab bread away.

Why do I even bring myself to help others at all? Hesh pulled me into this city, and Chloë would sell me out if I try to leave. No one actually appreciates anything I do. And now, I am completely destitute. Stop trying to help me. I’m not worth it.

He heard Hesh’s voice echoing in his head. You’re not so bad after all. You went through this much trouble to keep me safe and… I really appreciate it. So, thanks, man.

Damn it, kid! Get out of my head! Orion checked the room’s exit again, only hearing background chatter from other rooms. It was a good thing that no one else was here with him, as the Absol stood up and paced about, with incensed thoughts rushing in.

He considered the challenges up ahead, if he were to fight in the battlefield again. Up until this point, he had been slaying Shadow Pokémon. Maybe even some unlucky Asa’i Hara’min brigands and wandering Uncivilized hunting packs.

But he had never lopped the head off of a Serapían before. In Keelan’s words, the Serapíans “are some of the toughest adversaries you’ll ever meet on the field.” Even with his experiences in the wilderness, Orion knew of the reputation of those infamous dragons; how they would converge on one point and incinerate everything in their path. He grew uneasy about the prospects of having to face them on the battlefield: creatures that would be able to keep their distance in the air, away from harm, and open fire on him. And the thought of what would happen if he were to fall to the Serapíans…

He knew that a long, painful experience would await him.

But would it even matter at this point? Captain Berg’s payment. 50,000 lucitas, burned away. Orion no longer had any way of following through with his original plan, let alone pay off his debt of 12,000 lucitas. No money for shelter. Or food. No reason to fight the Serapíans at all.

Fighting was all he knew. It was the only thing he excelled at.

The Absol grew restless as his thoughts continued to scream at him.

What now? Should I just try leaving the city anyway? How will I get past the guards? And even if I do leave, I know nothing about this terrain, and they’ll just find me easily. Fuck, I have no options! What am I supposed to do now!?

Seething, Orion punted the side of his bed, leaving behind a small impression. And in that moment, he heard a female voice calling from the hall outside, followed by the pitter-patter of tiny feet. The exit’s drapes flew open as a familiar Pokémon forced herself inside the room.

“Yukie?” inquired Orion.

Panting, the Eevee gawked at him. Behind her, a Chansey wearing a white ribbon passed through the drapes. “Come on, sweetie,” she beckoned. “You can't be in another patient’s room.”

“No!” Yukie cried, as she hid behind Orion.

“Sweetie, you can’t just wander off on your own. And the infirmary can’t keep you here.” The nurse Chansey leaned forward and stretched out her stubby arms.

"Noooooooo!" yowled the Eevee, gnashing her teeth.

The Chansey flinched. "Oh my gosh, that’s not polite at all, young lady. Stop that this instant!" She gave Orion an apologetic look. “I’m so very sorry, sir."

Orion glanced at the shivering Eevee, who held her head low, ears drooping. "Yukie, go with the nice lady. She's just trying to help you."

The Eevee ducked her head down, refusing to budge.

"Do you know this child, sir?" asked the nurse.

Orion stuttered, "W-well, not really. She was in my group when the dragons attacked. She lost her family somewhere."

The Chansey rested her small hands on her belly. "Oh, nooo. Poor thing." She cooed, "Yukie, is it? It's okay, little one. Come with me. The local orphanage is a very nice place. And with your precious face, you'll find a foster home in no time."

So, they’re really sending her to an orphanage, thought Orion.

Again, Yukie bawled, “No! Where’s Haru!? Go find Haru!”

The Chansey stammered, “Um, I’m afraid I don’t know who Haru is, sweetie…”

Orion observed the Eevee once more, who bared her fangs at the Chansey once more. The nurse backed away and hesitated to make her next move.

“Oh, dear,” the Chansey said. “Please tell me we didn’t take in an Uncivilized cub.”

Orion gasped, prompting him to jab Yukie in the head. “Yukie, stop! That’s not how you behave! Do I have to bring you over there myself? Is that what you want?”

The Eevee looked at him in disbelief as her mouth trembled. A shrill noise erupted, causing the nurse to shy away, as Yukie’s face squeezed into an ugly frown. Hot tears stained her cheeks.

Shit, did I poke her too hard? “C-come on, kid. None of that. Please.”

“I DON’T WANNA GO!” Her voice shook the room.

The Absol gently stroked her across the head. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. Just please, stop crying.”

Yukie sniffled, suppressing her sobs. Orion clumsily caressed her back, feeling the ridges of her backbone, in an attempt to pacify her.

“L-look, you can stay here for a little bit, if it makes you feel better. I’m not going anywhere.” His gaze met Yukie’s runny eyes. “Things will be alright. Trust me on this.”

Yukie sniffed and hiccuped noisily, her nose still oozing over the floor. Her breaths slowed down and she swallowed painfully to force herself to stop. In a hushed voice, Orion calmed her.

Nearby, the nurse Chansey sniggled, “Awww, I don’t know what I should do here. I really don’t want to ruin this moment. You seem to have a natural paternal instinct. Maybe you should consider adopting her?”

Orion gave her a curious glance, then looked away. “Me? Heh. No way. I'm broke. And I guess… I’m a hooligan. She deserves better than someone like me."

Her face still wet, Yukie mumbled something under her breath, "Ohm… ohh…"

"What is it now, Yukie? Are you feeling ill?"

"Oh… rah… un… Ori… on…?"

The Absol's eyes widened. "Heh. You actually remember my name."

The Chansey nurse bowed her head with a wide smile. "I'll see myself out for now. Be on your best behavior, Yukie. I'll return in a little bit." She passed through the exit.

W-what? Did she seriously leave me to babysit the kid!?

Though Yukie’s face was still wet and slimy, she forced a smile and wagged her tail. Orion remembered Hesh’s comment about her being adorable. I guess she is… she’s still a cub after all. The Absol took notice of the tray with the last slice of Nanab bread, then pushed it towards her.

Yukie kneeled down and sniffed the bread. She nervously jerked her head towards Orion, who nodded in response, then she took a lofty bite. The Eevee crooned, forming a euphoric grin on her face, and finished the bread off with a satisfied belch.

“Well, glad you like it,” Orion said, watching the Eevee licking the crumbs off the tray, suppressing his urge to smile. “So, Yukie, did you get a look outside yet? Emerald Valley is a huge place.”

The Eevee wiggled her head, trembling. “So many people. So many big and scary people.”

“They don’t have to be scary. You can always just approach them and say hi to them. They’ll adore you, kid.”

“But what if they eat me?”

Orion gave her an incredulous look. “Oh, right. You don’t have to worry about that in this city. You see, Pokémon are not allowed to hunt here. It’s very different from the forest, or the Condemned Plains. All those bigger Pokémon can’t eat you. They only eat stuff like berries, nuts and bread. Maybe vegetable stew. Some rice, noodles, milk. That nurse lady is a Chansey, so maybe even some eggs.” He paused, grimacing. “Well, you get the idea. There are a lot of things you can still eat here. You can’t just hunt others, like you did to Hesh before.” His eyes narrowed. “Do you understand, Yukie? You can’t eat another Pokémon here. They’ll do something bad to you if you do.”

“O-okay.” The Eevee’s ears lopped.

“Good girl.” Orion stared through the window, watching the sky bleeding into a mix of orange and red. The room grew dimmer. “So, Yukie, what were you doing in the woods by yourself? There were lots of Shadows over there. Did you get lost?”

Yukie shook her head. “No. Sis ran away.”

“Is your sister’s name Haru?”

The Eevee bobbed her head.

“Why did she run away?” asked Orion.

Yukie stared at him, her eyes glistening, lips trembling. “Sis doesn’t want me anymore.”

Orion looked away for a moment. “T-that can’t be true, can it?”

The Eevee’s breaths quickened in pace and fat globs of tears dripped from her face.

Orion winced, quickly stroking her head. “H-hey. Hey, come on, kid. No more of that.” To his shock, the Eevee hugged his leg and rubbed her tears and snot on his fur. He pulled his leg away. “O-okay, I didn’t give you permission to do that! At least… ASK first!”

Yukie’s ears drooped. “I’m sorry…”

Gods, stop trying to make me feel bad! The Absol exhaled, holding his urge to yell back. Can’t believe she did that… “D-Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. I know… that you’re very scared right now. I… I was too…”

Yukie tilted her head, mouth parted.

Well, at least she stopped crying. Orion continued, “See, I never knew my parents. I didn’t even know if I had siblings or any other relatives. All I knew was that I was alone. And that I’ll remain alone until the end of my days.”

“You’re alone? Why?”

Orion shook his head, shrugging off her question. “But you…” He stroked Yukie’s back, who watched him with a worried expression. “You can make it. You have a much better chance to make it than I do.”

“Why?”

Orion sighed. “I’m something called an Absol. As far as I know, I’m the last of my kind. I never met any other Absol, and I later learned why.” He grimaced. “They’re all gone.”

“...Gone?” Yukie watched him with a mix of intrigue and fear.

“Yeah. No one wanted us around. We’re considered ‘Uncivilized,’ and most people would rather have us dead than allow us to mind our own business. The world’s cruel like that. So again, Yukie, don’t ever tell anyone you’re Uncivilized. Don’t hunt others. Please.”

Yukie looked at the ground. “O-okay.”

Orion nodded. “Good girl.”

“Ohm… Oh... rion?”

Orion smirked. “Yeah. That's my name, all right.”

She shyly looked down, lightly scraping against the floor. "C-can I call you Ori?"

"U-um, sure. That's fine."

Yukie tilted her head, eyes glistening. “Ori, are you lonely?”

His expression vanished. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

“Can I help you not be lonely?”

Orion chuckled. “I’m beyond help, kid. You don’t want to be around an abomination like me for too long. But… I appreciate that you offered anyway.”

“But aren’t you sad?”

“I… um... maybe a little bit. I’m more angry, really.”

“Why are you angry?” the Eevee cheeped.

“Well, I’m angry about a lot of things. Today’s… special. I did something stupid. Actually, I did many stupid things, and I don’t know why I keep doing them. I’m not even around Shadow Pokémon right now, and yet… It feels like I just sealed my own fate by coming here.” He lowered his chin close to his chest. “It’s like everything I do is a mistake. Nothing is ever truly in my control. Whatever decision I make, something bad happens. And things will only get worse. Because… I’m me.”

An awkward silence developed between the two. Yukie stared at the Absol for some time, but couldn’t find the right words to say to him.

“It’s an adult thing,” said Orion. “Nothing a kit like you needs to worry about. Anyways, tell me a bit about your sister. Remember the good things about her.”

The Eevee hesitated to speak, her throat dry as sand. “U-um… she’s nice. She has pretty eyes and pretty fur. She brings me food. She keeps me clean. And sleeps with me every night and tells me stories. She’s always warm.”

Orion bowed his head. “She sounds wonderful.”

“But then… her fur got weird and ugly. And her eyes were red and scary. Then she told me to go away and not follow her." She glanced at the floor, then locked eyes with the Absol. "Why is she like that, Ori? Doesn’t she want me anymore?”

Orion jerked his head away, feeling the pounding in his chest pick up in speed. He mulled over Yukie’s questions, then focused on what she said about her sister. So, Haru didn’t try killing her. Then, perhaps... The Absol cleared his throat. "Well… let's say she's sick, Yukie."

"Sick?"

"Yeah." It was the best way he could describe it. “Maybe… she’s afraid that you would get sick too.”

"Me?” Yukie tilted her head. “I don’t get it. If she’s sick, won’t she get better then?”

Orion pursed his lips. I can’t give her false hope. As far as I’m concerned, her sister is already dead. And in her place is a violent monster who needs to be put down. But… I can’t tell her that. What am I supposed to say to this kid?

“Ori?”

“Um, well, Yukie, sometimes... an illness doesn’t go away. Not on its own, anyway." He shook his head. "And she doesn't want you to get that kind of illness. I know it's hard to accept, but it's dangerous for you to be near her now. Please understand. It’s for your own good."

"B-but… I miss her. I want her with me."

"I know." He reached out to rub the top of her head. Instead, Yukie curled up next to him, causing the Absol to jump back a bit. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt someone else’s warmth.

“Are you okay?” Yukie asked, looking up.

“Y-yeah. Just… a little surprised.”

The Eevee sighed. “Ori, what’ll happen to me? Who’s the lady?”

“Oh. She’s a nurse working here. She’s just trying to take you to an orphanage.”

“Or… fuh-nesh?”

“It’s a place where other children like you wait to get adopted by a loving family. You can make a lot of friends with kids your age there. And later on, you can have a mommy, a daddy, maybe even some other brothers and sisters. Think about it. You won’t have to be alone, Yukie!”

Yukie’s tail and ears drooped. “But then, Haru will be all alone…”

“I know it hurts. I never had siblings of my own, and I envy you a bit for having one so loving in your life. But it’s for the best. I’m sure… this is what your sister would’ve wanted. For her little sister to have a happy life.”

“Ohh…”

The two grew quiet and watched the room darken with each passing moment. Shortly after, the Chansey nurse returned, accompanied by a Leavanny.

"How do you do, sir?" asked the Leavanny. "I'm from the Little Stalks Orphanage. We'll go ahead and take things from here." She glanced at Yukie, who crept behind Orion's leg. "My, you must be Yukie. Aren't you just the most adorable thing?"

Yukie emitted a whine, to which Orion responded, "It's okay. They won't hurt you."

“But I wanna stay with you,” said Yukie. Nearby, the Chansey and the Leavanny let out an audible “aww.”

“I can’t look after you, Yukie. I can’t bring you food or shelter like your sister did. In fact, you’re better off just not being around me. Just forget that I was even here.”

“But… you’ll be lonely too.”

Orion chuckled, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll… find a way, like I always do. Go. Do this for your sister. And do this for me too, okay? Live the best life you possibly can.”

Yukie exhaled, whimpering under her breath, “Okay.” She took a few steps forward, where the Leavanny gently stroked her across the head. The Eevee looked back at the Absol, who responded with a genuine smile.

"Take care, Yukie."

"Bye, Ori…"

The trio of Pokémon departed, leaving Orion by his lonesome once more. The Absol heaved a sigh and shut his eyes, feeling a hollowness in his chest.

Did I really say all those things? What’s wrong with me?

As he returned to his bed, he heard Yukie shouting in the hallway. “Hash!” Then he heard the Leavanny crying out, “Ah! My apologies, sir!”

“N-no, you’re good,” a familiar male’s voice answered. “Hey, Yukie. Is Orion in there?”

“Uh-huh!”

Orion listened to them chatter for some time, before Hesh ended the conversation with, “Well, see ya, Yukie. I hope you have fun at Little Stalks. Be good.” Soon followed by approaching footsteps.

Orion stared at the ground, frowning. “Damn it.” He marched over to the room’s entrance and shoved the drapes aside. Somebody jumped back.

“Aghhhh! Gods, don’t do that!” Hesh clutched his chest, swiftly exhaling.

“I thought I told you to go away, kid,” Orion said, returning to his room.

Hesh followed, fidgeting with his claws. "Come on, man, you really expected me to just leave you here like that? I thought you would have more faith in me by now."

"What do you want?"

"Well, for starters, to see if you cooled down. And… I guess you have. Guess Yukie rubbed off on you a bit, huh?”

Orion’s eyes narrowed. “You were eavesdropping, weren’t you?”

“Naaaaw!” Hesh whimpered when he saw Orion shooting off his signature glare. “I-I mean, maybe a little.”

“How much?”

“If I answer honestly, will you get mad?”

Orion snorted. “Don’t push your luck.”

“F-fine! I rushed over here as soon as I heard Yukie crying. And, well…” The Wartortle fiddled with his ears. “You can probably tell that I’m a good listener.”

Orion bared his fangs. “You have a lot of nerve.”

“H-hey, I’m sorry, but what do you want me to do? I’d rather not leave her alone in a strange place. I thought she was in trouble!”

“Then why didn’t you step in and calm her down yourself?”

“W-Well, umm…” Hesh looked away. “I heard the stuff you said to her, and… heh, you weren’t doing a bad job. You’re surprisingly great with kids! I thought you hated children or something...”

“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

Hesh backed away. “Hey, what’s wrong with you, Orion? Don't tell me you’re still mad at me for the money issue.”

"Our business is over, kid. And you have a lot of nerve sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. We don't need to be talking to each other."

Hesh looked down. “Orion… that actually hurts. Do you really hate me that much? Am I really nothing more than a client to you?”

Orion swayed, attempting to restrain his anger.

“I thought we’re friends now. I really don’t understand what’s going through your head. Please, make me understand. I’m really trying. I know you don’t want my help… but I can’t ignore this. I know you’re suffering. Please, let me repay the favor! You don’t have to go at this alone. You’re in good company! I know it's hard for you to believe, but Seanán, Keelan… they are good people, Orion. Chloë, too. Even now, she’s trying to help you, believe it or not. You’re gonna be soooo thankful to her in a little bit.”

Orion exhaled, grumbling, “Why are you two doing this? What’s in it for you?”

“N-Nothing! I just want to repay the favor, that’s all!”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“The hell I do! I owe you my life! Because of what happened back at the Condemned Plains, I was able to deliver the news on Vera. And I can see my family again. You did this! You’re a good person too, Orion. Why is it so hard for you to accept that?”

“Just stop, kid. I’m not worth the trouble. I never was.”

“You’re worth more than you think! I heard what you said to Yukie! Would a bad person say all those things to her!?” Hesh stopped himself before he could raise his voice further. “Let me repay the favor, before I leave the city. Please, at least let me do that.”

Orion’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah.”

An uncomfortable stillness settled in. “Why?” Orion asked.

“Well, I mean, I don’t mind staying here in Emerald Valley, but I need to go see my dad. And… I need to rethink my life.”

“Huh?”

Hesh sighed. “After everything that’s happened, I only managed to drag you down throughout the whole journey. I don’t want to fight more Shadows and I sure as hell don’t want to mess with the dragons. So, I’m going to see if I can resign as a Peacekeeper. I’m just not cut out to be a soldier. I’m ready to stop thinking I could be a hero, and just live as a civilian.”

Orion hesitated to speak. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Hesh shook his head. “No, but I don’t think I can do this line of work anyway. So, please, let me repay the favor before I go. I’ll never forgive myself if my hero is still struggling to make ends meet after all he did.”

“Hero? What?”

“I mean, that is what you are. You threw out everything you had and almost died to keep me and Yukie safe. That isn’t something any mercenary would do. I’m begging you, let me help you…”

Orion exhaled through his teeth. “You’re working my last nerve, kid…”

"Then what else are you gonna do? Do you really want to stay out there with the Shadows, fighting to survive every single day alone? What about the dragons? At least in this city, you’ll have food and clean water without having to go looking for them. You'll be safe over here. And you won't have Peacekeepers hunting you down to collect a bounty. What else do you have to lose? It’s not like you’re going anywhere specific, right?"

Orion snarled and stomped the floor. "Fine! You made your point."

“So, does that mean—?”

“Yes! Just shut up about helping me already. Damn.” Orion’s mouth coiled into an indefinable expression as he uncomfortably shifted his body.

Hesh sighed. “Glad you’re finally seeing things my way.”

"Don't count on it."

---

Chloë felt her stomach churning as she paced about in front of the infirmary’s entrance, her shadow dancing across the dimly lit road. Some of the nocturnal Pokémon had already woken up, and began to crowd the streets and the treetops. Though the street lamps hadn’t lit up yet, the sun was slowly sinking into the western mountains.

Though she was as healthy as she could be, Chloë dreaded having to face a certain someone again. It was not like she hadn't dealt with difficult patients before. But for the most part, she relied on her scented leaf and her amicable feminine charm to keep her patients calm.

But this one in particular was refusing to open up and accept her help. Was it a pride thing? Some kind of personal moral code? Trust issues? Or was he just being a jerk? Not even her stubborn brother was this defiant.

The thought of having to converse with someone this intense and tactless again made her shudder. She didn’t remember the last time she was this pissed off. Or scared for someone, for that matter.

Please, Hesh, she thought. Make him listen. I went through so much trouble tonight.

She watched the drapes of the entrance fold and disperse again and again, as some of the medical staff and patients journeyed back to their homes. She was ready to do the same.

Soon enough, a familiar white creature stepped outside. He glanced at her for a moment, then looked away. Hesh followed close by.

“Hey, Chloë,” he greeted. “Guess who decided to get some fresh air.” He gestured at Orion, who avoided eye contact with both of them.

Feeling a dryness in her throat, Chloë gulped. “S-So, Orion, have you decided what you want to do yet?”

The Absol did not respond.

Chloë took a deep breath. Easy, Chloë. He’s gone through a lot. Just gotta be patient with him. “Okay, how about this? What would you say if I have already found you a place to stay for a while? Like, say, a month?”

Orion’s pupils lit up and expanded. “What?”

“Yeah. The boarding house I’m staying at has a vacancy open now. I told the landlord about you and he said that one of the lodgers is moving out tonight. If you hurry, you can have a room to yourself. You’ll have a place to sleep and they’ll provide you breakfast too.”

The Absol’s distinctive scowl returned. “What’s the catch? Just in case you forgot, I don’t have money.”

Chloë exhaled, resisting the urge to snap at him. “I was getting to that… I’m covering your rent.”

Orion scoffed, “No. I already said I didn’t want that.”

Hesh jabbed him against his ribs. “Hey! I thought you said you’re going along with this.”

Chloë felt her heart jump when Orion leered at her, who looked like he was on the verge of snapping again.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “Do you pity me? Is that it?”

“M-Maybe a little…”

A snarl.

“But what’s wrong with accepting a bit of charity, Orion? Are you really that dense!?” The Chikorita huffed, startling Hesh nearby. Orion kept his jaw clenched, staring her down. Chloë jerked her head, feeling more jumpy than usual. “I-I’m sorry, Orion. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. What I really mean is… you shouldn’t have to suffer from a hardship like this. It’s not fair to you, and I’m more than happy to help you get through this.”

Orion’s expression untightened. “But why me? Aren’t you afraid that others will judge you for helping someone like me?”

“The world is harsh enough as it is, Orion. What I’m doing now is not even required by my job. Doctor Froid asked me to reserve one night at an inn, but I’d rather that you have someplace that you can come back to. An actual place to call home.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this…”

“Do you really want to make things harder for yourself? To whom are you trying to prove? The people who hurt you? Do you think it builds character somehow? Because I’m not seeing it. And I don’t think you realize that it doesn’t make you any less of a heel like you are right now.”

Hesh covered his mouth. “Oof. Orion… I didn’t think it’s possible, but you just got burned by a grass Pokémon.”

Orion didn’t say a word for some time, giving an incredulous stare.

Chloë looked away as her cheeks turned a shade of red. “S-Sorry. That was too harsh, wasn’t it?”

“No. You’re right.”

“I… wait, what?”

Orion bowed his head, to the point where his chin was touching his chest. “I treated you both poorly. I’m sorry.”

Hesh and Chloë glimpsed at each other, as if witnessing something abnormal.

The Absol lowered his head even further, shutting his eyes. “I did this to myself. I treated you both poorly, because of my own mistake. That’s why… I had to do this on my own. I can’t drag others down. This is my fight… and my fight alone...”

Chloë approached Orion, running her paw against his head, causing him to jump a bit. The Chikorita was careful enough not to get too close to his horn, which showed jagged edges. “Don’t worry. You’re not dragging me down. In fact, it’ll make me happy if I can help you bounce back. And Hesh is more than happy to help you too. Just like you helped him.”

The Absol exhaled, resting on his haunches. He was unsure about what else to say, but he couldn’t find the right words to bring up.

Hesh inhaled and cleared his throat. “W-Well, hey! Why are we so mopey today? Let’s do something fun! We just got here after all and we had a rough journey! Let’s go enjoy ourselves!”

Chloë nodded, giving a sweet smile to Orion. “Yeah. I would like that.”

Orion sighed. “Sure, kid. Whatever you want to do.”

“Whew, it’s getting late. Got someplace in mind, Chloë?” asked Hesh.

“Weeeeeell, I’ve been meaning to stop by the spa. I needed a destressor. The bathhouse over there is free and open to the public, so you can have a nice soak.”

“Oh, well, count me in!”

“And…” She covered her mouth to suppress her laughter. “I didn’t want to say anything, but Orion… you stink. You smell like you got soaked in dirty water, rot and blood. Sorry, but you smell stronger than me now.”

Hesh howled in laughter, while Orion attempted to hide his flushed visage under his bangs.

---

Plumes of hot vapor rose from the male bathing zone, emanating a mixture of herbal scents: mint, thyme and tea leaves. The steam rose towards the night sky, where a herd of thick clouds concealed the gibbous moon to the point where its light was barely visible. Lined up against the stone walls were many torches, keeping the area lit. Several resident Pokémon rested in the waters, a couple of which were snoring.

Hesh approached the edge of the water, yelping in pain as his feet made contact with the hot brick floor. “Hey, Orion! Hurry up! Water’s good!” The Wartortle dove headfirst into the water, kicking his legs back, gliding across the water’s surface. As soon as he stopped, he sat down in the shallows and rested his back against a rocky surface. He slowly inhaled and exhaled, soothed by the fragrant scents. Any pain he felt in his joints melted away in the intense, but relaxing, heat.

“Oh, yeah… this is some real magic here…” Hesh watched as Orion steadily plodded into the water, eyeing the missing fur on the Absol’s stomach, revealing bits of his navy blue skin. “Wow, Orion. They had you healed up pretty fast. Too bad about the patches though.”

Orion grumbled as he waded across the water, picking a nearby spot in the shallows. He lowered his body below the water’s surface, with only his head above, and relaxed. He released a soft and slow breath.

Hesh beamed. “See? What did I tell ya? Accepting a bit of help is not so bad, right?”

Orion held his breath and dipped his head underwater, his horn being the only visible thing above water. As soothing as the hot water felt, he wasn’t in the mood to listen to the Wartortle’s gloating.

Hesh sighed, waving his arms in the water. “A bit of thanks goes a long way, Orion.”

When Orion shot back up, his drenched bangs dangled over his eyes. He shook his head from side to side to move them away.

“You need a haircut,” Hesh said with a strained face. “Maybe once you get some extra lucitas, you can get the salon to tidy you up. Think about it. If you look nice and neat, maybe you’ll catch the eye of quite a few valley ladies. Huh? Huuuuh?”

“Are you still talking?”

“I mean, you’re about the only person I know here. Uncle Seanán and Auntie Kee are still working. And we got Chloë, but she’s in the female zone. Kinda sucks that we had to stay with the other men. Chloë’s cute, but I wanna chat up some ladies here, know what I’m saying? What did you think about that Primarina along the way? Think I got a chance with her?”

“Nah.”

“W-Wha? Why not?”

“That one’s a boy. He exited from this bath.”

Hesh blushed. “O-Oh. I guess he’ll never have any trouble finding a date then.”

“I mean, you can try if you swing that way too. I still think he’s out of your league, though.”

“Noooo, I’m good. I’ll admit that he’s really pretty though.” Hesh cleared his throat. “So, um, what about you, Orion? Anyone in the city caught your eye yet? You’re an adult. There’s gotta be someone you find attractive.”

“Nah.”

“Wait, really? Not one person?”

“Nope.”

“Come on! Don’t you think Aysu and her dancers are pretty? What about that Roselia lady? Riko, I think her name is? I don’t know what it is, but I love the sound of her voice.”

“Did I stutter, kid?”

“Okay… what about that Braixen that came from the female bath? I caught her staring at you. She’s cute, right?”

“Whatever.” The Absol submerged underwater once again, completely soaking his entire body.

Hesh waved his hand, splashing water in his direction. “Agh! You’re no fun!” He crossed his arms, mumbling to himself. “Maybe if you loosen up a bit, I bet you’d be chatting her up in no time.”

Orion rose back up, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, kid. Were you saying something?”

“N-Nothing.”

The two rested for some time as they each took in deep breaths, watching the reflections of the flames flicker over the water. After a rough week out in the Condemned Plains, the atmosphere of the bathhouse seemed like another world to them. Eventually, Hesh broke the silence.

“So, I wrote a letter to my dad today. I hope he receives it. I bet he’s worried sick about me after what happened in Vera.”

Orion frowned. “Your dad, huh…”

“Yeah. I just wanted to let him know that I’m okay, and that I’m here with Seanán and Kee. And, well, I made it here in one piece because a kind-hearted mercenary helped me out.”

“Did you tell him who I was?”

“Well, I never brought up your name. Or your species. I figured you wouldn’t want me to do that. You did say you’re an outlaw, right?”

Orion exhaled, slowly smiling. “Well, you’ve just proved me wrong, kid. I figured you’d tell him too much.”

Hesh chuckled. “He might ask me later about who you are, so he can thank you personally. I’ll just tell him you wanted to remain anonymous.”

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“Heh. Most others in your position would want that recognition. I guess you have your reasons.”

“Kid… um… Hesh?”

The Wartortle’s ears pricked up.

“I just want to say that I'm sorry. For today, and for every time I yell at you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me again after what just happened. I shouldn't push my problems on you.”

Hesh suppressed his laughter.

“Huh?”

“Feels like we already had this talk not too long ago.”

“Did we?”

“Water under the bridge, remember?”

“Oh. Right.”

Hesh kept his eyes shut, steadily breathing. “Hey, Orion.”

“Yeah?”

“You mind if I ask you something?”

“I minded before, but that didn’t stop you.”

“Do you trust me?”

Orion paused. “What do you mean?”

“Do. You. Trust. Me?”

“I guess.”

“You guess? That’s it?”

“I mean, you did force me to tag along with you. And you’re not dead yet, so I guess.”

Hesh’s eyes widened. “Not dead yet? Well, yikes. Were you like this with your friends before?”

Orion submerged his mouth underwater and exhaled. The water bubbled furiously.

“I guess I know the answer to that.”

Orion jerked his head back up. “My ‘friends’ tried to have me killed.”

“Oh. Um… are you afraid that I would do the same to you?”

Orion shot him a piercing glare.

“Eep! You don’t have to look so serious there!”

“What brought this up?”

“I’m just wondering. You opened up to Yukie about your childhood. I guess you got attached to that adorable little furball, huh?”

“I’m just saying all that to calm her down, so she can forget about her sister.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Why do you care?” Orion snapped.

“I dunno. I guess I wished that you had told me some of that stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Well, Orion, I’m just wondering…” Hesh gulped. “Do you hate being an Absol?”

“...What the hell kind of question is that?”

“I mean, you don’t talk positively about your own species. That’s cause for concern, don’t you think?”

Orion sighed. “If you must know… I’d rather not be around at all. I have nothing to live for.”

Hesh frowned. “So… is that why you put yourself at risk all the time?”

“You know what it’s like being a mercenary, right?”

“I know, but… it feels like you’re doing too much. Like you’re actually trying to off yourself. Why do you do that? I don’t understand.”

Orion grew quiet, contemplating his words. “There’s more to it, but… I can’t say what it is.”

“Why not?”

The Absol exhaled. “Consider this. Was there ever a time where you were put through a perilous situation—and I’m talking about an imminent death here—but for some inexplicable reason, you survived through it?”

“I… uh…” The Wartortle grimaced. “I mean, I understand the ‘perilous situation’ part. And that Gengar almost got me. Is that what you’re talking about?”

“No. Imagine if that Gengar succeeded in killing you. And you’re a pile of ashes. But you’re still here somehow.”

“I… um… err… what?”

“Exactly. Sounds crazy, right?”

“I’d say so, yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Right now, it feels like I’m better off gone. If I do anything, there’s a chance it’ll go horribly wrong. If Emerald Valley burns tomorrow, it’ll suddenly be my fault. If things had gone my way, you and Yukie would still be here, going your separate ways. And whatever happens to me after, I can at least rest knowing that you two won’t be persecuted for associating with the likes of me.”

Hesh sat up, his breaths growing uneasy. “That sounds a bit melodramatic.”

“Is it, Hesh? My clan was considered Uncivilized by the Sol Council. And their supporters agree too. They don’t care that we’re gone. In fact, they think I should go down with the rest of my clan. Imagine if people always look at you like you did something wrong. But you can never figure out what you did wrong. Then they tell you, to your face, that you shouldn’t be here. You don’t belong. You deserve to die.”

Hesh listened on, mouth agape.

"You saw what happened to me and that Loudred. More of the crowd took the thief’s side. That’s how bad it is." Orion grew silent.

“Wow… I’m sorry. I can’t imagine the amount of pain you went through.”

“No. You can’t. And I’d rather that you never find out.”

“Orion… I’m sorry, bud. Really, I am. I guess… I was being selfish by trying to force you out of your shell. I’m just causing you more pain, am I?”

Orion chuckled. “Hesh… you’re a good kid. If that time ever comes, don’t hesitate to cut ties with me. Even if you’re the son of a general, the Sol Council would target you if they think you’re associating yourself with the Uncivilized.”

“I can’t do that, Orion. I don’t know about your other friends, but I won’t betray you like they did. I hope one of these days, you’ll be able to trust me. Just like I trust you now.”

Orion fell silent for a moment. Shortly after, a sullen grimace formed. “You’re too kind, kid. I hope you’re not this trusting with others.”

“Naw, of course not. You deserve some trust. You don’t deserve to be lonely. If push comes to shove, I'll back you up the best that I can. That’s why… I think it’ll be great if you stay here in Emerald Valley. Seanán and Kee will help you get settled for sure. If someone like Auntie Kee can find happiness here, I’m sure you can too.”

Orion exhaled. “You know, your godmother was asking me a lot of questions about my clan. I don’t know what she wanted to know.”

“Who, Kee?”

“Who else?”

“Funny. She did the same to me. She’s been wondering where you came from."

"Yeah. She told me her clan was persecuted too. That part surprised me. So I’m just wondering why she’s a Peacekeeper then.”

“Oh, so that's what she was talking to you about? Why did she join the Peacekeepers? Maybe I’ll ask her later on.” Hesh hummed to himself. “Say, did you put in any thought on what you're gonna do about your debt?”

“I don't know, kid. I don't even know where to start.”

“I mean, just grab a quick job somewhere. Maybe you can help with transports or something.”

“I'm only good at combat. And now, I can't even do it.”

“Sure, but it's not too late to expand your horizons. Know what I mean?”

Orion sighed. “And what if no one wants to hire me?”

“Somebody will! You got this!”

“I-I don’t know…”

“If all else fails, the Peacekeepers are always an option. There is no Sol Council to hurt you here. And I'll tell Kee to watch over you. She hates them just as much as you do. Maybe even more.”

“...We'll see what happens.”

As the two Pokémon continued to adjust to their environment, several shouts blared from the exit.

“Alright, boys! It’s bath time!”

Over a dozen different Pokémon rushed in, all of which were wearing a different-colored Peacekeeper ribbon. Like rowdy children, the soldiers surged through the bath area, spraying water everywhere.

Hesh groaned. “I guess the night shift started. This place is gonna get crowded soon.”

Soon after, a massive Snorlax approached from the exit. “Evening to you, boys! Mind if I join in?” The obese Pokémon lumbered across the floor. As soon as he stepped into the water and sunk into its depths, the water level surged.

Orion felt the water soaring over his body in a jolting motion. His mouth and nose stung as the water rushed in. Just as quickly, the water level sank as the extra liquid spilled all over the brick floor.

“Huh. People are always putting too much water in these things,” the Snorlax declared. The nearby soldiers complained to him.

Orion hacked out some of the water, gasping for air. Hesh struck the Absol over his spine, forcing out more water.

“You okay?” Hesh asked.

Orion rasped. “Y-Yeah…”

“I think I had enough tonight. What about you?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, let’s get going before we get caught up in the rush."

---

Author’s Notes:

• Yukie is based on user Akina’s character

 

[Welkamo]

I am back to read this chapter. Luckily, I was able to understand it pretty well without context.

The entrance hall echoed with activity as civilians and soldiers alike chattered amongst them

Ooh good stuff. Also my brain is imagining it as very yellow light.
Also there’s a missing period.

He was lying on a firm bed made from coarse Stoutland fur.

Oh shoot I remember this chat

“It’s okay, little one,” the stout beast gently whispered as he patted the cub on the head. “You’re safe now. You don’t have to say much, but… if you understand me, please nod.”

Aw this is cute

Why am I back here? Why is he here?

Who is he?

I... recently received an order to exterminate any Uncivilized Pokémon we come across.

Oh shoot

"Oh… rin… oh… ree… en…" As if the rest of his body was remembering for him, the cub muttered in syllables. "Oh… roh…? Umm… ruh… Oh… rye… unn…"

The beast leaned closer. "Orion?"

Ahhhhhhhh it’s a flashback

The cub raised one of his diminutive paws and rested it over Typhon’s three-clawed hand, noting that his own claws looked similar. The general tightened his grip; it was an oddly cozy feeling for the Absol cub. He was doubtful at first, but then felt his uneasiness dissolve. He felt secure.

He felt safe.

Over yonder, a distant bell chimed.

This is a cute flashback

Orion released a long yawn and smacked his lips. From far away, he could hear the trills of the clock tower’s bell from outside. Through the window, the sky was a veneer of amber.

Oooh parallels

Orion nibbled on a slice, relishing its ripe, sugary flavor with a slight bitter aftertaste. Nanab berry.

Another Berry Connoisseur I see

50,000 lucitas

Lucitas?

so I can earn my pay.

I earn my life I earn my life
I learned it from my father and I tell it to my wife

I am completely destitute.

Title drop

He heard Hesh’s voice echoing in his head. You’re not so bad after all. You went through this much trouble to keep me safe and… I really appreciate it. So, thanks, man.

Yes friendship

Orion knew of the reputation of those infamous dragons; how they would converge on one point and incinerate everything in their path. He grew uneasy about the prospects of having to face them on the battlefield: creatures that would be able to keep their distance in the air, away from harm, and open fire on him. And the thought of what would happen if he were to fall to the Serapíans…

Easy: just find a Fairy type

Orion no longer had any way of following through with his original plan, let alone pay off his debt of 12,000 lucitas.

Oh shoot he’s in debt

Orion punted the side of his bed, leaving behind a small impression.

For some reason my mind read this as him picking up the table and punting it like a football

“Sweetie, you can’t just wander off on your own. And the infirmary can’t keep you here.” The nurse Chansey leaned forward and stretched out her stubby arms.

This is a very cute and funny image

So, they’re really sending her to an orphanage, thought Orion.

Oh shoot

W-what? Did she seriously leave me to babysit the kid!?

Yes yes yes one of my favorite tropes

The Absol took notice of the tray

For some reason, I read “tray” as “ashtray”

“So many people. So many big and scary people.”

Humans may be dead but the word people lives on jkjk it’s okay

I didn’t even know if I had siblings or any other relatives.

My OC Omega DarkHeart due knot steel

And that I’ll remain alone until the end of my days.

But Orion! You have friends!

"C-can I call you Ori?"

“Can I call you dad?” Yukie asked.

“I’m beyond help, kid. You don’t want to be around an abomination like me for too long. But… I appreciate that you offered anyway.”

This is very funny out of context.

Nothing a kit like you needs to worry about.

I read “kit” as “kilt” and realized that I need to sleep.

Little Stalks Orphanage

I remember this!

Nearby, the Chansey and the Leavanny let out an audible “aww.”

Me

Live the best life you possibly can.

Live your best life

for starters

Haha get it cause Hesh is the evolution of a starter

“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

Killing is bad

Don't tell me you’re still mad at me for the money issue.

This is so funny out of context

I thought we’re friends now.

This sentence is worded a bit weirdly.

I need to rethink my life.
Mood

Though she was as healthy as she could be, Chloë dreaded having to face a certain someone again. It was not like she hadn't dealt with difficult patients before. But for the most part, she relied on her scented leaf and her amicable feminine charm to keep her patients calm.

Hey I remember this excerpt

Doctor Froid

Freud

I’m sorry.

Oooooh sorries (sorrys?)

“Weeeeeell, I’ve been meaning to stop by the spa. I needed a destressor. The bathhouse over there is free and open to the public, so you can have a nice soak.”

Spa episode

The Wartortle dove headfirst into the water, kicking his legs back, gliding across the water’s surface.
Diving into a hot tub? Then again, he’s a Water type

He lowered his body below the water’s surface, with only his head above, and relaxed.

This is a very silly image

“I mean, you can try if you swing that way too. I still think he’s out of your league, though.”

Ouch, Orion

There’s gotta be someone you find attractive.”

“Nah.”

“Wait, really? Not one person?”

“Nope.”

Maybe Orion is ace, or maybe he’s more worried about everything that’s going on. Either option is valid.

“Is it, Hesh? My clan was considered Uncivilized by the Sol Council. And their supporters agree too. They don’t care that we’re gone. In fact, they think I should go down with the rest of my clan. Imagine if people always look at you like you did something wrong. But you can never figure out what you did wrong. Then they tell you, to your face, that you shouldn’t be here. You don’t belong. You deserve to die.”

Wow this was a gut punch

I was being selfish by trying to force you out of your shell.

Haha punny

Soon after, a massive Snorlax approached from the exit.

Hahahaha

This was a good chapter, even when I’ve only read 4 or so other chapters. The conversations and emotions were good. Probably my favorite chapter. Good stuff

 

[System Error]

- Opening with a flashback! And it seems Orion has a peculiar dislike for Hesh's father.
- Tranquil as a Tranquill
- A lot of thoughts here abounds, and wow do the dragons get hyped up even harder than the Shadows
- Well that turned cute in a hurry
- It seems she quickly understands you can't eat others here.
- Insert Ori and the Blind Forest joke here.
- Yes, one hundred percent philosophical differences between "normal" and "uncivilized" Pokemon
- Orion being emo intensifies
- Man that feel when yandere nurse is really seductress nurse. I am surprised she hasn't run into a female client who was not interested in her ways before. Or maybe a guy who's only into other guys.
- Although she still is very much clingy and may possibly want what she can't have
- Wow he even gets the emo hairstyle without having the mega evolve, kek.
- Well Hesh's libido is flaring up. In hilarious ways. Get the funny mental image of him being this horny teenager.
- Suddenly talking about very deep racism related things, giving a very much good reason to be emo.
- And the chapter ends on a funny note: with a fat guy joining the dudes in the bath. Thankfully they're just Pokemon, so probably not as horrifying as a human doing so, heh.

And the fic continues to move along with something a little more low key. But we're moving along personal plots in the process of things. Still good stuff as always, that all said. Looking forward to seeing what comes next, and you just know it's a matter of time before all hell breaks loose once more.

 

[Welkamo]

Very slowly reading these chapters. I've got a lot going on this week, so apologizes if I'm slower than a Shuckle.

“Can’t have you running off.” She gave a cocky smirk.

“You know it’ll seriously hurt if I do start running, right?”

“For me or for you?”

“Probably more for you than me, when I’m dragging you across the pavement.”

Funny dialogue. I like it.

“Compared to me, you look like a child clinging to a parent.”

Shoot now I wanna draw fanart

While he was expecting a city around the size of either Lusang or Daem, there was a more unique quality to Emerald Valley. The city itself was settled within a massive forest, with buildings nestled between gigantic redwood trees and smaller tree species; even over mountainous slopes. A system of wooden walkways and bridges of either stone or wood led to buildings built at higher elevations. Orion noticed more overhanging buildings built alongside the trees, reaching ever closer to the canopies. With the exception of birds, he couldn’t understand what kinds of Pokémon would want to live up that high.

Fortree City

Nearby, he could hear a Staravia herald sermonizing to the passing crowd from his perch, puffing out his chest pompously to show off his glittering sash.

“...re here! The dragons have finally made their move! My brothers and sisters, it’s time to take up arms against those barbaric Serapíans! With the purity and might of the Creator on our side, we shall purge those filthy lizards off our beautiful lands! We toiled to make a living here, and it is our right as the blessed Hevalkites to bring about a new crusade! Join the Knights today, and we’ll make that wicked Prince Temeré pay for his crimes! Believe in the Creator, and his light will erase the taint of the Shadows and the Serapíans!”

Uh oh it's the cult

“The Earth Father, the Sea Father and the Sky Father,” said Chloë.

Hoenn confirmed

Orion gave one last glance at the ominous statues, pondering if those Pokémon still existed somewhere in this world.

Don't you know how fiction works, Orion? All legends are true.

“Here’s Trouble!” Chloë exclaimed, pointing at Orion.

“Hey, Trouble!” greeted Hesh. “Did you give the nurse a hard time?”

Did you make it double?

Hesh cleared his throat. “Oh, by the way, I don’t think you two met. Orion, this Zoroark is Sergeant Major Keelan. She’s my godmother and General Seanán’s elder sister.”

“Wait, are you really?” Chloë asked, eyeing the Zoroark suspiciously.

Keelan shrugged. “Damn straight. See the familial resemblance?”

A few questions popped up in Orion’s head. Wait, godmother? That’s a lady? And she’s the general’s sister? Why is she a different species? And the way she talks… are they even related at all?

Well, this is Pokémon. Wailord-Skitty and all that.

“Ha! A ballsy son of a bitch, aren’t ya!?”

Woah woah WOAH. I'm not used to aunts cursing like this. (Well maybe except one)

Great plan, hurting the Shadows’ feelings.

They stop the Shadow Pokémon by calling them big poopy doo doos.

and the only light in the room came from flameless lanterns.

LED candles

Orion could see what appeared to be a long, pointed weapon and a shield fashioned from a vegetable and leaves. Are those his? the Absol thought.

“Is it true, sir? Are you a genuine Absol?”

"No."
Orion took off his fursuit. He was really a guy named John, 18-35 year old male who lives alone in a three room apartment.

or rather, the fully bloomed rose in place of one would expect a hand.

This sentence is worded a bit weirdly.

“Really, hon? With your injuries?”

She's about to sell essential oils. Roselia radiates MLM energy.

Orphanage. Now that’s a place that Orion hadn’t heard of in a while.

Uh oh. Foreshadowing.

I deem it appropriate to hold a memorial service in the middle of town square. In memory of those who lost their lives at Vera.

I think this would work better without the period, unless it's an artistic choice.

Emerald Valley seems like an interesting place with interesting people. Will our heroes protect it from destruction? Hopefully.

 

[Welkamo]

Crossposting from TR:
And it's time to catch up with my reviewing of this. Luckily, that means I only have one chapter to read.

Spoiler: Hell yeah review

The entrance hall echoed with activity as civilians and soldiers alike chattered amongst themselves,

So I read Chapter 13 before Chapter 12, and I noticed that there's a parallel between the opening lines of each one. What could this mean? Has Orion been to this city before? Has he been to a similar one?

“Quite the nosy nurse, aren’t you?” said Orion, scowling. “I hate gossipers.”

Don't we all lol.
Great now I'm thinking of Orion being on a soap opera. He would lose his mind.

‘Curiosity killed the Meowth.’

Seems like the Pokémon adapted sayings from humans.

“But it’s going to be alright! There are so many capable soldiers living in this city! We’ll be okay. I’m sure of it.”

And then they weren't okay.

The Zoroark chuckled, patting him on the head. “I don’t mean it like that, Squirt, but dragons are gonna be some of the toughest adversaries you’ll ever meet on the field. They’re resilient bastards, especially the flying ones. The foot soldiers ain’t so bad, but the flying ones are real bitches to fight. The tough part is trying to keep ‘em grounded. If you can’t do that, you’re screwed.”

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I like to imagine there's this city of Fairy types just vibing.

If you can learn an ice move, Squirt, it'll help.

In Generation VIII, Wartortle can learn Ice Punch, Icy Wind, Ice Beam, and Blizzard... all by TM/TR. I wonder if TMs still exist in this world. Oooooooh, do things like computers exist? Do Electric types revive old arcade machines???

Our air defense ain’t the best, and that’s their greatest advantage over us.

Just use the Pokémon GO Method: Find a bunch of Pidgeys.

“Wow… I don’t feel so good… heh heh… heh…”

"Mr. Orion, I don't feel so good..."

“Whaddya expect? This ain’t happy, fun time, Squirt. This is war. You came at a crappy time. I guess that’s just your luck.”

War. War is hell.

“I was hoping I could enjoy the sights here. Now I’m just… anxious…”

"Man way to kill the vibe, Keelan."

Seanán clenched his jaw. “Please don’t encourage the boy, Keelan. What you did in the meeting room was also unnecessary.”

Encourage the boy, you coward.

Keelan intruded into the conversation. “A flying taxi at this time? You might as well go for a jog across the mountains, Seanny. Maybe knock the piss outta some Asa’i Hara’min thugs along the way.”

Seanán narrowed his eyes on her. “I thought I told you not to call me that. And you’re not off the hook, Keelan.”

Flying taxis? Hell yeah.

That was all Doctor Froid.

Freud again.

“Oh yeah, that’s right! You haven’t met my boy yet.”

My BOY.

“Wait, you have a son!?”

The Zoroark grinned. “I know. Shocking, right? But yes, my little ball of fuzz, Cuán. He’s still a pup, so mind your manners once you see him.”

WHAT?! A SON?! Who's the mom?

Don’t worry, girlie.

Ew.

Then you can have plenty of alone time with him.

Ew.

“The truth. About you and the Absol clan.”

Oh no.

“Sure you do. ‘Lots of jobs to catch up on,’ huh? A scrawny runt like you? And one who was bleeding out not too long ago. What are you trying to pull, kid?”

“I’m not trying to pull anything.”

Oh nooooo

Etched on the bottom of her muzzle were several arced patterns, weaved into an intricate tattoo.

“What am I looking at?” asked Orion.

Oooooh tattoos

“Close your eyes.”

Orion stepped back. “No.”

Same here, Orion.

“Just do it, kid. Shit.”

The emphasis of "shit" sounds weird, like Seanán is commanded Orion to shit. Maybe I'm just reading too much into this.

With a defiant glare, Orion shut his eyes, grumbling under his breath. He flinched when he felt the Zoroark’s claws brush against his eyelids.

“Yeah, just as I thought. Right on your eyelids, and that’s it. Weird."

Ouch. That must have hurt.

Every female would have markings on her cheeks.

What cheeks?

“Alright, kid, lemme ask you this. Have you seen others like me or my brother? Any other Zoroarks or Lucarios?”

Furry Pokémon? Do furries still exist in this world? Or are they furries but for humans? In peaceful times, are there humanycons?

“‘Cause that’s what happened to my clan, kid. When you don’t fall in line with the council’s demands, they’ll excommunicate you and ruin your clan’s reputation. Even now, the mayor doesn’t trust me. He only tolerates me because he needs my brother here. Not like the council believes my brother anyway. Tch. Those fuckers from the Sol Council sicken me. If they wanna put me down that badly, they better send in their best.” The Zoroark leered at him. “So do me a favor, Orion. Don’t give those bastards more ammunition. You’re no harbinger. You’re a proud warrior of a once esteemed clan. And people like that brown-nosing mayor can’t tell you otherwise.”

So they're bonding(?) over being society's outcasts.

Brown-nosing mayor?

Had to look "brown nosing" up and found stuff about butts. Also hell yeah mayors being pricks.

Keelan puffed her cheeks and exhaled. “Man, I thought my manners were bad. Can’t even appreciate a motivational speech! How did Hesh even put up with you?”

Negging I see.

Laters

Now I'm wondering if certain Pokémon picked up surfing slang and are carrying on its legacy.

city’s unique structures.

Would be nice to know how these structures are unique. Like, are they shaped interestingly? Are they a fancy color? (unless there's been a description of them before and I'm just forgetting.)

"No, I came from Bluewood with my big brother Ka’yen. It’s a jungle town far to the south of here.”

Aerith and Bob.

Chloë tilted her head. “Hmm, really? Did you ever ask your parents for more? Don’t you get lonely?”

Lol Chloë that's an awkward question.

Chloë formed a pained expression.

This sentence feels a tad odd with its wording.

“It’s okay. That’s life, right? When your loved ones join a war, there’s a good chance that you may never see them again.”

Mood lol.

“Yeah. I guess this happens too often now. Heh, I mean, look at us.” Hesh glanced at Orion, who stared back. “Actually, Orion here doesn’t have a family either.”

They could be a found family

The Chikorita giggled. “I’m only kidding! I’m actually 20 years old.”

“What!? I’m only 15! How are you older!? Have you even evolved?”

20?! How do Pokémon age? What's the drinking age? The driving age? The—

If I did, I’d be towering over you right now. And that’ll make me feel awkward.

The tense change with "I'd be" and "that'll" feels weird, though I can sort of handwave it because it's dialogue, and dialogue oftentimes doesn't follow standards grammar conventions.

“On the other hand, I’ll get those awesome cannons on my back...”

Hell yeah cannons

“Would you feel comfortable, though? An evolution means your body will change. Once you evolve, you’re stuck in that form forever. Bigger doesn’t always mean better.”

Does Mega Evolution still exist? If so, how does it work? I know, in the anime at least, that certain Pokémon (like Mewtwo) can Mega Evolve without a trainer.

What do you think, Orion?

"I don't."

A giant wheel protruded from the building, gyrating against the water.

"Gyrating" feels like a very odd word choice. Like, it makes sense, but it immediately makes me think of the, uh, gyrating dance move.

Every now and then, an electric Pokémon would donate some of their extra pent up energy to help light up the city.

The use of "would" feels a be odd, unless Electric types don't donate energy anymore.

“Huh. And Lusang is still using oil lanterns for all our lighting.”

Great now I need a map of this whole world so I can know where all the things are. In a fascinated way.

Apparently, humans used electricity to light up their cities long ago.”

Ok so when I was in elementary school, there was this book series called The City of Ember. It gave me an existential crisis sort of, but I still read the whole thing for some reason. Don't know if it still holds up, as I haven't read them since. Anyway, this line reminded me of the series, and somehow it reminded me of those animated Scholastic cartoons, which reminded me of this one book series of this girl who can see ghosts (The Ghost of Fossil Glen)...
So I just want to say thank you for this rabbit hole into deep memories.

"Humans were weak, fragile creatures," answered Orion.

Weaklings.

They couldn't survive out in the wilderness like we do.

Clearly Orion doesn't watch reality TV. By the way, does TV still exist? Probably not.

You know, Pokémon and humans used to live side by side over 120 years ago. Together, with little issues. Then, the humans just vanished and their societies crumbled.

Did one of those damn villains kill everyone?

Even today, you might still come across some old buildings or artifacts left behind by humans in Hevalkin.

So there's a possibility of Orion and Co. going to an abandoned theme park.

And the corpses of strange metal creatures everywhere, and they don’t decay like normal bodies.

They it's like that series that was maybe like Warrior Cats but dogs.

Just stay away from the Ruby Desert.

Maxie. This was Maxie's fault.

“It drives the ladies wild.”

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1TRi3TsrlA

A potpourri of Pokémon clamored around the booths and shops bordering the area. Perched around the more open areas were several garden beds bordered by simple stone benches. Near a lofty fountain, a trio of grass Pokémon danced gracefully, entertaining the passersby. And sitting in the middle of the city square was a single bronze statue.

Oooh this scenery is nice.

Since then, Emerald Valley continued to prosper as one of the largest cities in Hevalkin.

"Continued"? Is it not prospering anymore?

His one silver lining was that he didn’t die from the blood loss.

Good that Orion is looking on the bright side of life.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

Close by, Hesh and Chloë remained deep in conversation, neither of which seemed to acknowledge Orion.

This sentence would probably be worded better as:

Close by, Hesh and Chloë remained deep in conversation. Neither of them seemed to acknowledge Orion.

Nanab bread!

Nanab Bread! Guessing that it's like banana bread because of the thing Nanab berries are based on. Not a fan of bananas, but I appreciate the excitement.

"Fuck off, loser!" The Loudred quickened his gait, hands clutched.

Language, Loudred.

"I don't know. I've never seen him before." The Chikorita jerked her head as she noticed something was off. "H-hey! Where's my purse?"

Uh oh purse snatchers

“Fuck you!” the Loudred bellowed as he bolted towards Orion.

Fuck you, too.

The Loudred smirked. "Ohh, this is rich. You just made this a whole lot easier." He turned to face the crowd. "This Absol is trying to rob me! Let's send this Uncivilized trash back to where he belongs! Who's with me?" Many citizens screeched in agreement.

Uh oh using bigotry. Yeah fuck you, Loudred.

“Let’s see how long it takes before you go splat!” the Loudred exclaimed with a sadistic chortle. With the mob applauding, the Loudred began to exert pressure on Orion’s head, causing the Absol to thrash his legs about.

Oh no crushing his skull

Chloë jabbed Orion in the face.

boop.

Awright, out with it

Uwu.

“My parents are dead. I guess I’ll never learn.”

Love this line.

“Um, excuse me?” a gentle female voice called. Nearby, a Lilligant waved her one of her leaf-like arms at the group. Standing next to her were a Bellossom and a Vileplume. “The ladies and I want to say that we watched the whole thing play out.”

Friends!

We were practicing in the city square

Oh they were the dancers!

We’ve dealt with Miss Aysu before, so you can all go now.

Dealt with? Lol. Wonder what happened?

Look at him, he’s not feeling well!

Be nice to Orion! He almost died of blood loss!

“More than you think!” the Chikorita snapped. “I don’t think I’m asking much, Ka’yen!”

Orion’s eyes narrowed. “Ka’yen?”

Chloë gasped. “S-sorry, O-orion. My mistake. Can you at least promise me you won’t go into any more fights? At least, until you leave? You do have someplace to be, right?”

Oh? Why did she call him Ka'yen? Perhaps she sees Orion as an older brother figure? Or maybe something about Orion reminds her of Ka'yen?

A yellow-furred bipedal Pokémon with a thick white collar walked in, alongside Hesh. Orion recognized him, by his long nose, as the doctor who operated on him. Is this Doctor Froid?

I KNEW IT! I knew Freud Froid would be a Hypno.

In maybe a week, you can fight like a champion once more.

Champion hits different after all of them die lol

"Anyways, since you're an outsider, there is the matter of your bill."

Orion's eyes widened. "Bill?"

"Bill?" repeated Hesh, covering his mouth.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, sir. What, you thought the treatment was free?"

Orion exhaled slowly. "Alright, what's the damage?"

"100,000 lucitas."

Healthcare isn't affordable? Is this real life?

The doctor snickered. "I'm just joking! You were getting a bit too quiet there, so I thought I'd get a reaction out of you."

Is that really necessary!? thought Orion. Likewise, Hesh and Chloë gave an unamused reaction.

"Your real bill is 12,000 lucitas. Think you can manage that, young man?"

Pulling a Redd I see.

The Absol’s mouth flew open and he sat there for a moment. He smacked the side of his bed. “What the FUCK, HESH!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER!?”

Wow Hesh, throwing out money like that. It doesn't grow on trees, you know?

Besides, they burned everything down. Your money’s probably already ashes by now.

What about the economy?!?!

You know, I thought you’re someone I could respect and trust.

"You're" should be "you were".

Aaaand I'm caught up. Very good stuff. We're getting some more stuff on Absol discrimination, and it seems that Zoroarks (and Zoruas, by extension) also face discrimination. Lucarios were also lumped in. Do they also face discrimination?
There's also more stuff about technology. How much of human technology has been restored? And what happened to the humans? The second question probably doesn't matter as much in the grand scheme of the story, but I'm like that in the way that my first thought is "humans are gone and something has replaced them. What happened?" Then again, those questions can also get me existential.
Do they still have the human's stories? Do they still have the human languages (Spanish, Japanese, etc.), or do they all speak in Pokéspeak? I'm sorry for all the questions lol.
It seems things are slowly transitioning to more slice of life. Wonder how long this will last.

 

[OrionTheAbsol]

In light of recent feedback, I reworked chapter 1! I am currently reworking chapter 2.

 

[silurica]

Heya, Orion! It's about time I give this a review. Unfortunately, I lost my earlier reading notes. Happily for me, there is an updated chapter 1 to go along with my attempt to retrace my memories. Also because I'm rereading, I will keep this to the first three chapters only (though I will be commenting on a few things based on my memory of further chapters).

Overall I think the story that I've read so far is neat, though I'm definitely here more for the characters than the fights. This isn't a judgement on the quality of how you wrote the fights, but rather the depiction of the nitty-gritty of wars is simply something I have little interest in.

Ch.1
The first thing that I noticed here was how effective the opening is; it immediately sets the tone of the story. I actually couldn't tell who or what the dark figure here is until I saw you talking about it in chat and I put two and two together. It's spooky and mysterious though so not knowing the identity of the figure actually enhanced the atmosphere for me.

The scene with Orion waking up... I think this is new? I have no memory of this anyway. It's curious to see him yelling into the wilderness here, knowing how cautious he will be in a future chapter. Maybe he just isn't thinking straight, which is understandable after such a dream. Maybe he has confidence that if he attracted hostility, he'd be able to handle whatever may come by himself.

Ch.2
Ah, hrm. Wars and battles. I'm afraid I don't have much taste for this topic, so this part will go largely uncommented, sorry. I like when Orion gave Hesh one of his Oran Berries -- an early look into how Orion isn't as uncaring as he might like to present himself as. Also, I forgot that this was a PMD-inspired story until the mention Quick Seed. This is, probably, a good thing since it means the story has already established an identity separate from the games.

“What is this treachery?” the captain stammered. "We don't have enough soldiers out here!"

A nitpick: this doesn't sound like stammering to me.

Ch.3
So we have more character introductions and development here, setting them up before shit hits the fan again.

Hesh is such a good boy, so innocent and naive. The conversation with Orion was amusing with the awkwardness.

Geris, ah Geris. Our bully. Token jerk of the team. I have the impression you're aware of this already, but reiterating just in case. Far from my favorite character archetype -- I often find them grating -- but sure brings a semblance of conflict.

It didn't click in me immediately that Tullio is the Simisage, so I was confused for a bit. The dialogue went on for a while without forming a connection between "Tullio" and "Simisage" until the descriptions of him using a pipe.

I like Julia's energy. Javil is okay. I forgot that a Scraggy was supposed to be there. Also, feels bad for the Absol child; that anecdote got me.

 

[Daren]

Chapter 1 review:
The first chapter is a promising start--one of the most important ways to start a story.
The beginning feels like Pokémon meets medieval dark fantasy--an idea I find quite interesting and the first chapter establishes a dangerous world where even just finding enough to eat isn't easy while setting up what seems to be a major plot with this dead god and their command to find "the Mark of Creation". Yet it seems our protagonist may have a skeleton or two in his closest and it's unclear right now if these "Peacekeepers" he'd rather avoid are a mostly benevolent force or named quite ironically.

 

[The Walrein]

Hello Orion! I enjoyed the discussions we had on Discord about PMD warfare, so I've been meaning to get around to Stray for a while now. Without further ado, I'll dive into some line reactions:

Pillars of smoke rose from the burning field and fed into the monstrous, muddy sky.

In what way is the sky 'monstrous'? It's not an adjective that normally gets applied to the sky, so I can't quite picture what it's supposed to look like.

With his sickle-shaped horn upright, the Absol shambled toward the figure, whose body morphed into a more distinct shape. Two arms sprouted, giving it the appearance of a floating torso. The smog-like body developed a featureless face.

Hmm... is this Darkrai?

The wind grazed over the amber-colored field, and silvery clouds lingered with bits of sunlight peeking through the pockets.

The phrase 'grazed over' sounds weird to me. I'd suggest removing the 'over'.

“Approaching me with that of all things,” he said. He grimaced as his head continued to throb. “What am I supposed to do? Where do I even look? My lord, in case you haven’t noticed, I have nothing!”

I thought it interesting that Orion considers Darkrai (or whoever it was) to be his 'lord'. For whatever reason, you don't see many PMD protagonists in explicit service to a god or legendary, but it's a dynamic that has a lot of potential.

The Absol jerked his head toward the direction of the squawking voice. A Pidgeotto fluttered her wings and glided past him. Pursuing her was a Liepard coated with a black aura.

I do have to wonder why the Pidgeotto can't just fly higher than the Liepard's reach - did Orion arrive right as she was taking off from the ground?

“My company!” she answered. “Are you perhaps a mercenary? The Shadows are about to overwhelm them! Please, you must help us! We need anyone who can lend us their strength!”

Hmm. Is there any reason she'd assume Orion is a mercenary, besides wishful thinking?

The Pidgeotto sighed in relief. “Then, follow me. Hurry!” She took off, sailing across the sky in the direction of the Peacekeepers’ stronghold.

Likewise, the Absol broke off into a sprint, observing the distant Shadows gathering like a swarm of Beedrills.

The new horde thundered across the plains.

It was a little unclear to me if the first horde of shadows attacking the fortress has been dealt with at this point, since it was described as 'massive' and not much time has passed since then.

***

So, I'm feeling a little mixed about this chapter. I think it does get a lot of the basic premise across - the protagonist is informed that the world is falling to pieces and he needs to find a magical artifact, hordes of shadow Pokemon are besieging the land - but at the same time, I think we could've gotten more details, such as what Orion's previous relationship to Darkrai(?) was, or perhaps some information about the Peacekeepers - why did Orion expect that they wouldn't need help to handle two massive hordes? Another place might be the encounter with the shadow Liepard - chapter 2 describes the Shadows as 'covered in lacerations, avulsions, and cysts', but the Liepard doesn't get any description of how it looks different from a normal Liepard other than that it has a 'black aura'. I think describing the grotesque nature of the shadows while Orion is close up to one would've been a natural place for it, and it could've added a bit of spice to an encounter which ends pretty quickly. Also, I'm not sure why Orion's name was held back in this chapter - I think this decision would've made sense if you were starting with chapter 2, where he's not a viewpoint character, but in this chapter he is the POV character, and I think giving us his name could've allowed for a bit more connection with him.

I've already read ahead a bit to chapter 2, and I'm interested to see how you'll be handling mass combat, so I'll try to swing by this again later. Feel free to message me on Discord if you want to talk about the chapter more, and I hope your writing's going well.

 

[The Walrein]

Alright, moving on to chapter 2!

The white rain smothered the bleak meadow.

A bit nitpicky, but I'm unsure why the rain would be white. Is there some phenomenon that's causing this?

The pounding of feet an arena’s distance away.

I'm not sure how long a typical arena is in this setting, so this description isn't very helpful. Seems like it could range anywhere from 20 feet to 300 feet depending on if you're talking about something more like a boxing ring or an (American) football field.

The captain checked the stab wound. “Seems like the poison is ineffective this time." He tapped the Wartortle on the shoulder. "Watch yourself. You may not be as lucky next time.”

How can Berg tell if Hesh got poisoned or not just by looking at the wound? Even a very minor-looking injury is enough to inject venom.

“Is the captain insane?” a Croagunk muttered. “That so-called mercenary is an Absol.”

Javil gave an inquisitive look. “A creature said to bring bad luck wherever it goes?”

“Aye, but not just any one. That one fits the description of a particular outlaw.”

It seems like this bit about Orion matching the description of a specific outlaw gets dropped for quite a while; just searching for "outlaw", the next time it appears is in chapter 7. You'd think that if Geris wanted to get Orion kicked out of the company, he'd try approaching the captain with this fact at some point sooner.

“Oh, you bet. But they were supposedly extinguished by the Shadows years ago. To see one walking about now is a bad sign.”

“What do you think it’s doing here?” asked Javil.

“No doubt planning to sabotage us. In fact, he could be one of the Uncivilized for all we know. Maybe in cahoots with the Shadows. I’d say we hightail it out of here before it has a chance to—”

Hmm. If the Shadows are believed to be the cause of the Absol's extinction, I wonder where the idea that they could be working with the Shadows comes from.

“Go!” the captain shouted, swinging his massive arms at his approaching opponents.

The woods filled with dozens of individual brawls, the bellows of soldier and beast alike, and the overwhelming scent of sweat and blood. The Shadows bit, clawed, slashed and stabbed without restraint. One by one, the inexperienced Peacekeepers dropped to the muddy ground and watched their blood spill over.

I'm confused about why battles are taking place in the woods now, as I thought the horde was attacking the Peacekeeper company at the palisade wall, which was some distance away from the forest. Did a bunch of Peacekeepers just charge out of their cover to attack? If so, why?

***

I think this chapter could've benefitted from more description. First, I was confused as to whether the peacekeeper company were holding positions within a small fortress, which was serving to defend a nearby town, or if they were actually within a town that had been surrounded by short wooden stockades. At some parts it seemed to suggest that if any Shadows got past the line of Peacekeepers, they'd be immediately in a position to attack the village next, suggesting the latter, but in Chapter 1 it referred to the Peacekeeper's position as a
'palisade stronghold', which made me think the former, and then when Captain Berg's talking to Orion, he says that his mission is to keep the Shadows out of the 'nearby town', rather than just 'outside the town walls'.

Regarding the Shadows, I think some description of the exact composition and numbers of their forces could've painted a much clearer picture of what was going on. It seemed like the hordes were composed of multiple species, but I wasn't sure if they were entirely ground-based for some reason, or if there were flying Pokemon among them that just weren't mentioned. Also, are the faster-moving Shadows holding back to stay in a larger group, or are they just charging ahead, and this is the cause of them coming in multiple waves? Additionally, I think it would've been helpful to state their numbers in more exact terms than just 'hordes' - at the very least, by what ratio they outnumbered the Peacekeepers, given that there's multiple groups of them, all described as 'hordes' or 'a larger force', but some of which are small enough to have half or more of their members wiped out in a single volley, while others aren't. I'm also confused as to how the final group that attacked could've been a surprise, given that it seemed like the terrain was relatively flat and the Peacekeepers have flying scouts.

The defenses of the village/fortress could've also been described better - I wasn't certain if the Peacekeepers were standing on raised platforms behind the palisades and shooting down, firing between gaps in the wall, or what. Also, unsure if the wall got completely destroyed at some point and this was the reason for the fighting shifting to the woods.

On the positive side, I do think you set up a bit of intrigue about the history of the Absol nicely, and I thought your description of the small-scale fighting between Hesh, Orion, and the Rhydon was much easier to understand than the larger situation. As always, feel free to message me on Discord or send a forum PM if you want to talk more about the review.

 

[AetherX]

Hi there, just read up to and including Chapter 9. Seemed like a good pausing place to leave a review.

This story has a strong start for sure. Not just the ominous dream either. We get right into relevant action with relevant characters in a way that teaches us about who they are and what the state of the world is. The idea of the shadow Pokemon feels very... fantasy standard. But I don't really have a problem with that on its face. Makes for a solid existential threat.

“If they see you as food, then they’ll be dead set in hunting you down.”

This sounds inefficient from a predation perspective. If you're hunting for food you'd take the convenient stuff: injured or weak creatures that can't defend themselves easily. Usually separated from the pack. But I suppose that might come down to a bias against "uncivilized" Pokemon seeing them all as monsters rather than just animals looking for food.

“They can infect you with something like a disease. And if you don’t cure yourself of it, then you’ll become a Shadow just like them.”

This is the kind of thing that would have been really cool to show in the midst of an action scene rather than tell through exposition, unless you’re saving it for a climactic moment of some sort.

Note: Came across the Mankey bit. I get the intent of that, but I still think it would have been more interesting to show the whole corruption thing in the midst of one of the battles or something. Then use the Mankey scene for a detailed explanation of how it works. Just a thought.

Julia cringed, knowing what he meant. “U-um, no, Hesh. No thank you. That’s not what I have in mind.”

This is kind of interesting actually. Why is this taboo. Is it just gross? Too intimate? Sounds better than going thirsty, even if the water does taste a bit... turtle-y.

Hesh nodded, feeling a sudden sense of euphoria for once. Being an only child of a famous general, he had never known the kindness of a sibling. And the Hawlucha before him came closest to being like a big sister to him.

I get what you're going for with this chapter. Show how much the team means to Hesh, then brutally kill them all. But I can't help but feel like a lot of the showing how much they mean to Hesh couldn't have been done earlier. Saying that Julia is like a big sister to Hesh literally the paragraph before her death almost makes it too deliberate/obvious. Like as soon as I read this line I was certain of her imminent violent demise. These details could probably be spread throughout the previous chapter or two, thereby maintaining the gutpunch without coming across as contrived.

That slime has always been more dishonest than a Mandibuzz.

Well that’s just racist!

The prose in this story is really solid throughout, but I had one major niggle. I noticed is that this appears to be written in third-person omniscient. Now I fully admit I have a totally subjective dislike of this style in general, so take any criticisms here with a grain of salt. Generally the idea behind third-person omniscient is to have a strong narrative voice that provides insight into all the different characters in a scene. My issue with it is that too often (and this applies to this fic as well), it ends up more just being third-person limited with mid-scene POV changes. For example:

Orion heard Hesh mumble some curses and something like, "Don't you think I already know that?"

"Orion heard" implies that we are in Orion's head. If we were in Hesh's head, we'd just see what he said outright. If we were in neither of their heads, then "Orion heard" would be unnecessary (it would just say "Hesh mumbled some curses..."). So I assumed that this scene took place from Orion's POV, despite how everything since Chapter 3 had been from Hesh's POV. That would be fine, but then...

“Easy f-for you to s-say.” You furball.

Now we're literally hearing Hesh's thoughts.

True third-person omniscient is tricky to write without running into these kinds of contradictions. It's part of the reason I don't like it in general. If you want to do omniscient, it's important to avoid statements that make it sound like you're following a limited POV, even briefly. What does that mean? It varies. A lot. Alternately, just do limited and stick to one POV per scene. Just my thoughts.

Overall this is a well written and fun dark fantasy story. Cool action scenes, reasonably likeable characters. Keep up the good work!

 

[Ryoma Maser]

So it's time to finally become a stray and read this. I'm not a fan of PMD to be frank, but I admit I'm actually really liking this. But let me get into the actual review.

This will cover the first three chapters and my impressions of them.

Plot:
Not much to go off of in the first three chapters but I can gather some things. Something is corrupting Pokémon into a new breed of Shadow Pokémon with no cure so they have to die on site. Absol's still have their prejudice but thought to be all extinct or joined a cult worshipping the Shadows, though no one truly knows what happened to them.

This Mark of Creation, however, kinda hoping there's a fake out. I just don't like how there's a key all to fixing everything which there usually is in Pokémon games, especially PMD in some cases. This is a war story for all extent and purposes in my opinion, let's see the gravity of it and the aftereffects of it. The Shadow Pokémon may be gone for good at the end of it, but I don't want it to be because of this Mark of Creation.

Honestly this is awesome premise and is probably what got me into the fic despite being not very into the PMD-all Pokémon world like I've said before (it was actually a detriment when I was reading stuff for 2020's One-Shot competition and couldn't get into any of the PMD stuff even when I needed to read it as a contingency judge that year). The high-stakes notion is a high contrast to PMD's usual cheery tones despite the dark backgrounds and often need to skip over certain things like worldbuilding (how do these stupid dungeons exist!? WHO AM I!? WHY WAS I BROUGHT HERE!?) but here you put enough worldbuilding to put core-PMD to shame in your first three chapters alone while not giving everything away. Now I'm just excited to learn more about this version of an all Pokémon world.

Characters:
Orion is a grim character, but can't blame him for that. While a bit hard to warm up to him due to that personality, the hints of his backstory quickly justify why he is like that. He's a soldier who's constantly in battle for life and just everything, no other emotions can surface cause they can't due to prejudice and the situation they're in means no one can dilly dally.

The Captain, I'm glad he actually kinda respects Orion and doesn't drive him away due to prejudice. Even seemingly trying to connect with him despite his inexperience battling Shadows which most commanding officers in fiction (and real life history) would probably be against working with someone like Orion but he brought results and demands respect for the Absol and seeks help as a fellow soldier. Honestly, even though you're setting up the Wartortle as the one who breaks Orion's shell the most(no joke/pun intended), I can see Berg being the one who does it since simply, they know war in their own ways and can connect with Orion.

Hesh, I don't know really what to say. I like the kid, even if I am not the biggest fan of the Wartortle line but I feel they fall into a little too much of the stock soldier thing. Join to be like their parent, parent doesn't agree stuff, doesn't think they work in the army and stuff like that. I could see a change with their encounters with Orion, but it's a bit too early to tell. I do like how Hesh, even though he's afraid of Orion doesn't hesitate to reach out and does feel bad for him when hearing about how he got where he is. Most people wouldn't care in war, could chalk it up to naiveté but Hesh sees the good Orion brings just by being there and helping.

And that's my first impressions. Like I said plenty of times, I'm not into PMD but you've drawn me in greatly and I'm excited to read more when I get a chance. You got something going here and I'm really looking forward to see where this is heading. The stakes can only go up I feel!