Hello everyone. If you remember my last post I called quit on the series. However, with Team Rocket´s big reunion coming next week I had to return. Unfortunetely I am in a real dark place right now and I need to write this somewhere to have some peace of mind.
WARNING: THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SENSITIVE CONTENT
If the mods feel this is inappropriate for the forum, please delete this thread. However, it is really important for someone to read this, For me to know my story was read by someone.
Here we go.
As people who have read my previous posts know, I have been following the anime since the very first episode. My favourite characters are Team Rocket. One of my first toys was a Jessie and James figurine I brought at Toys´R´Us. It´s embarassing, but you could say Jessie was my first crush (in a child´s definition of crush, of course). They helped me through some very difficult times. Today, I would like to share one of those stories so people can understand how apparentely stupid things like a bunch of anime characters can be important to someone.
I was always very attached to my family. To go to college, I had to go out of town and would only sporadicly see my family. It was very hard, especially because my grandmother was going through a breast cancer. In my second year, we had a very dificult subject, which the final evaluation consisted of an «oral exam» (I don´t know how you call it in english, but basically a group of teachers from that subject make you questions and you awnser verbally). One of the teachers that was evaluating me that day absolutely hated me. Cutting the story short, he humilliated me. He asked me questions that were not in the sylabus, was unpleasant and didnt allow me to pass the grade. At the tail end of the evaluation he looks at me dead in the eyes and says «You are disgusting. An embarassment to society. You shoud climb to the campus´ roof and jump. You would do everyone a favour». Note that there were 2 other teachers present, and no one said a thing against him. His words, along with the emotional distress I was into because of my grandmother´s cancer and being apart from my family completely crushed be with despair. After pondering the situation for a couple of days, my shattered mind came to the comclusion that he was right and I planed to do realy jump of the roof and end everything once and for all. No more suffering.
The day I decided to end my life was march 5 2015, a thursday, the day Pokemon aired back then. Before I went to the roof, I decided to watch the latest Pokemon episode. It was the Woboffet episode from XY. I love TR so I decided to pass my last moments on Earth on the company of my favourite characters.
It was what saved me. I don´t know why, but that episode ressonated withind my deepest being. The end phrase where Jessie is back in the ballon hit especially hard. It inspired me to not end my life. To keep pushing for a white tomorrow.
I told my family everything. I received counseling, got much better and even aced that wretched grade when I repeated it. That monster of a teacher wasn´t there during that evaluation. I learned later that the teacher apparently had a crush on me, but since I was never interested in him he decided to humiliate me. He went on to retire with an imacculate curriculum, no matter what he did to me, and I moved on. However, excuse me beig rude, but I hope he someday burns in hell.
I´m tellong all this to explain why I am so attched to TR. However, thats not the only reason. In my last post I was very upset for TR not appearing and said the show was garbage and that I was gona leave. Then, someone replied to my post asking if it was a parody post. The comment is apparently harmless, but something in me awoke. The despair I felt back then.
People probably know from one of my previous posts that now my mother also has breast cancer. The most important person to me. I am emotionally very fragile, like back in 2015. Seeing that word «parody» really made me think. My life is a parody. Th cycle of despair will just continue to repeat endlessely, isn´t it? And now I won´t have TR to protect me. perhaps I should do what I was planning to do all those years go. Perhaps this time I should really jump from the roof.
Once again cutting the story short, this time I´m living in my homwtown so my mother noticed there was something wrong with me and I got help in time. I´m much better now.
I just wanted to write this as my therapist says it was important to share my story, no matter if people care. Just writing it is enough. I also hope it explains why I love TR so much and why the anime ending is being so hard on me. I tried to keep away from social media related to Pokemon beacause in the last decade it become a trend to bash TR and it´s fans. However, Bulbagarden is my go to forum because of how nice people are here.
Moving on, I decided to give the new series a change, I continue to hate Riko and Roy, however I really liked Friede. Also, the trailer today made me very excited. The fact that Yajima is back along with the fact the trailer had a more mature vibe compared to what I was expecting got my hopes up.
About MPM and TR´s last episode, I have zero expectations. The first 3 episodes were amazing, but after that it´s just terrible. I am especially upset with Yuyama. His last interview was a bunch of lies. This series has nothing to do with the Original series. It´a mockery. TR aren´t very active, either. With each episode it becomes clear this was a last minute put together series with scrapped content from Journeys to give time to the staff to complete the new series premiere. I also expect nothing from next week´s episode. It´s nice to see the old Pokemon back but it looks like a typical TR episode, not a grand finale. I just hope they get at least a small appearence in the final episode.
Returning to the new series, one thing I hope is that they give us a TR equivalent. It doesn´t need to be a group of comedic villains. I think a recuring antagonist like TR is absolutely needed for a series like Pokemon. People who wach other shows in this genre, especially if they are year-round, know how important the monster/villain of the week concept is, no matter how much some people complain about it. The filler episodes need a source of conflict and TR was perfect for this. That´s why in he last few series I cound´t watch fillers without TR. They had zero action/conflict and I hate slice of life. In my opinion it doesn´t fit Pokemon. Adventure does. I don´t now if the guy (girl?) with Ceruledge will be a villain. He looks very good, but doesn´t give me the recurring villain vibe. More like a rival vibe. I hope he realy his the «new TR» or they are still to show the characters with that role. Or (inhales copium overdose): TR comes back to terrorize Captain Pikachu (as much as I would love that, my dreams never come true).
I also hope the writers who joined the show during SM and Journeys leave. In my opinion their writing style doesn´t fit what I like about Pokemon. However, with Tomyasu back (why God?) I´m not very confident. Honestely, the writers are my biggest fear. The series has potential but I don´t trust this writers to not butcher it. I hope I´m wrong.
This got bigger than I was expecting. Once again thanks to everyone who takes their time to read this ramblings. it´s a small gesture, but very important to me. Thank you.
WARNING: THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SENSITIVE CONTENT
If the mods feel this is inappropriate for the forum, please delete this thread. However, it is really important for someone to read this, For me to know my story was read by someone.
Here we go.
As people who have read my previous posts know, I have been following the anime since the very first episode. My favourite characters are Team Rocket. One of my first toys was a Jessie and James figurine I brought at Toys´R´Us. It´s embarassing, but you could say Jessie was my first crush (in a child´s definition of crush, of course). They helped me through some very difficult times. Today, I would like to share one of those stories so people can understand how apparentely stupid things like a bunch of anime characters can be important to someone.
I was always very attached to my family. To go to college, I had to go out of town and would only sporadicly see my family. It was very hard, especially because my grandmother was going through a breast cancer. In my second year, we had a very dificult subject, which the final evaluation consisted of an «oral exam» (I don´t know how you call it in english, but basically a group of teachers from that subject make you questions and you awnser verbally). One of the teachers that was evaluating me that day absolutely hated me. Cutting the story short, he humilliated me. He asked me questions that were not in the sylabus, was unpleasant and didnt allow me to pass the grade. At the tail end of the evaluation he looks at me dead in the eyes and says «You are disgusting. An embarassment to society. You shoud climb to the campus´ roof and jump. You would do everyone a favour». Note that there were 2 other teachers present, and no one said a thing against him. His words, along with the emotional distress I was into because of my grandmother´s cancer and being apart from my family completely crushed be with despair. After pondering the situation for a couple of days, my shattered mind came to the comclusion that he was right and I planed to do realy jump of the roof and end everything once and for all. No more suffering.
The day I decided to end my life was march 5 2015, a thursday, the day Pokemon aired back then. Before I went to the roof, I decided to watch the latest Pokemon episode. It was the Woboffet episode from XY. I love TR so I decided to pass my last moments on Earth on the company of my favourite characters.
It was what saved me. I don´t know why, but that episode ressonated withind my deepest being. The end phrase where Jessie is back in the ballon hit especially hard. It inspired me to not end my life. To keep pushing for a white tomorrow.
I told my family everything. I received counseling, got much better and even aced that wretched grade when I repeated it. That monster of a teacher wasn´t there during that evaluation. I learned later that the teacher apparently had a crush on me, but since I was never interested in him he decided to humiliate me. He went on to retire with an imacculate curriculum, no matter what he did to me, and I moved on. However, excuse me beig rude, but I hope he someday burns in hell.
I´m tellong all this to explain why I am so attched to TR. However, thats not the only reason. In my last post I was very upset for TR not appearing and said the show was garbage and that I was gona leave. Then, someone replied to my post asking if it was a parody post. The comment is apparently harmless, but something in me awoke. The despair I felt back then.
People probably know from one of my previous posts that now my mother also has breast cancer. The most important person to me. I am emotionally very fragile, like back in 2015. Seeing that word «parody» really made me think. My life is a parody. Th cycle of despair will just continue to repeat endlessely, isn´t it? And now I won´t have TR to protect me. perhaps I should do what I was planning to do all those years go. Perhaps this time I should really jump from the roof.
Once again cutting the story short, this time I´m living in my homwtown so my mother noticed there was something wrong with me and I got help in time. I´m much better now.
I just wanted to write this as my therapist says it was important to share my story, no matter if people care. Just writing it is enough. I also hope it explains why I love TR so much and why the anime ending is being so hard on me. I tried to keep away from social media related to Pokemon beacause in the last decade it become a trend to bash TR and it´s fans. However, Bulbagarden is my go to forum because of how nice people are here.
Moving on, I decided to give the new series a change, I continue to hate Riko and Roy, however I really liked Friede. Also, the trailer today made me very excited. The fact that Yajima is back along with the fact the trailer had a more mature vibe compared to what I was expecting got my hopes up.
About MPM and TR´s last episode, I have zero expectations. The first 3 episodes were amazing, but after that it´s just terrible. I am especially upset with Yuyama. His last interview was a bunch of lies. This series has nothing to do with the Original series. It´a mockery. TR aren´t very active, either. With each episode it becomes clear this was a last minute put together series with scrapped content from Journeys to give time to the staff to complete the new series premiere. I also expect nothing from next week´s episode. It´s nice to see the old Pokemon back but it looks like a typical TR episode, not a grand finale. I just hope they get at least a small appearence in the final episode.
Returning to the new series, one thing I hope is that they give us a TR equivalent. It doesn´t need to be a group of comedic villains. I think a recuring antagonist like TR is absolutely needed for a series like Pokemon. People who wach other shows in this genre, especially if they are year-round, know how important the monster/villain of the week concept is, no matter how much some people complain about it. The filler episodes need a source of conflict and TR was perfect for this. That´s why in he last few series I cound´t watch fillers without TR. They had zero action/conflict and I hate slice of life. In my opinion it doesn´t fit Pokemon. Adventure does. I don´t now if the guy (girl?) with Ceruledge will be a villain. He looks very good, but doesn´t give me the recurring villain vibe. More like a rival vibe. I hope he realy his the «new TR» or they are still to show the characters with that role. Or (inhales copium overdose): TR comes back to terrorize Captain Pikachu (as much as I would love that, my dreams never come true).
I also hope the writers who joined the show during SM and Journeys leave. In my opinion their writing style doesn´t fit what I like about Pokemon. However, with Tomyasu back (why God?) I´m not very confident. Honestely, the writers are my biggest fear. The series has potential but I don´t trust this writers to not butcher it. I hope I´m wrong.
This got bigger than I was expecting. Once again thanks to everyone who takes their time to read this ramblings. it´s a small gesture, but very important to me. Thank you.
