TEEN: The Colours of a Champion (Working Title)

[Crimson&Gold]

Working title because I'm honestly not sure on this one and I'm struggling to come up with alternatives right now. I may end up keeping it, who knows?

Anyway, moving on.

This has been a long time coming for me. Some of the ideas that will be used in this story come from another of mine from the past that never got past its first chapter. It has taken a couple years for me to refine some of those old ideas and add to them entirely new ones as well in order to hopefully create a story you will enjoy to read. Rather than offer an extensive plot description I'll just say this: It's Red & Blue. But also not. You'll see.

Criticism and comments are of course sought after! Other than that, thank you and enjoy!

The Colours of a Champion​

Welcome to the Indigo League Arc

• CHAPTER 01 - A Visit to the Laboratory [GREEN]
• CHAPTER 02 - The Professor's Proposition [COMING SOON]

 

[Crimson&Gold]

The Colours of a Champion
CHAPTER ONE - A Visit to the Laboratory
[GREEN]​

Gwen debated entering the laboratory for what felt like a very long time.

She had seen it before: “The Oak Pokemon Research Facility” was one of the few noteworthy buildings that Pallet Town had to offer. With its chrome-grey walls and black, partially tinted windows it set itself apart from the rest of the residential town. It was difficult not to see it. Never had she thought it looked intimidating before. Glaring, of course, with its jarring modern design. But never intimidating.

Today Gwen definitely found it intimidating. In one hand she held the short, cordial invitation that had brought her there. She suddenly remembered how she had felt last week when she received it, how her stomach had felt as if it were full of butterfree when she first caught sight of the official, printed stationary.

And now she was here, and once again experiencing that same feeling of weightlessness; excitement mixed with nausea. She let out a deep sigh. Come on, Gwen. Pull yourself together.

Quickly and determinedly, she brushed a few strands of her dark auburn hair out of her eyes and straightened her beige coloured blouse. She supposed it would be rude to keep the professor waiting. With one last glance around her, Gwen stepped through the automatic revolving doors.

-x-
​

Besides the sender of the letter itself, the other thing that immediately stood out to her was the fact that it was handwritten, in a small and tidy script. How strange, she had thought, that the esteemed professor would even bother writing his own correspondence by hand rather than have some secretary type them up for him. Stranger still was how the letter began itself: “I welcome you to the world of Pokemon!”

That had immediately drawn a frown from her: Such an odd thing to say. At age sixteen Gwen required no introduction to pokemon. Nobody alive should require an introduction to pokemon- that was inane. She had puzzled over that initial sentence on and off during the whole week leading up until now.

The letter was very brief and surprisingly informal. More than anything the writer spent a great deal of lines talking about himself, which Gwen had decided was a pretty self-obsessed thing for someone to do when writing a letter to a perfect stranger. Not to mention how redundant it was.

No one in Kanto required an explanation as to who Professor Oak was. Nor anybody in Johto, Gwen supposed. Nor many other regions as well. To say that Professor Oak was a household name was perhaps not strong enough; he was easily the biggest personality associated with pokemon research bar none, his findings contributing vitally to the postmodern workings of the world as far as pokemon were concerned.

No, with an array of nationally aired TV documentaries, a series of radio shows, several different inventions patented under him as well as dozens of books and scientific journals published under his name, no one in Kanto required an introduction to Professor Oak. Gwen had expressed all of this at length to her father, who was the first person she had shown the letter to, later that evening after she had received it.

“I suppose he was just being thorough, sweet heart; on the off chance you weren’t aware of him,” he had said. “Aren’t you pleased? …Oak seeking after you personally; think how impressive this could be to the applications board.”

Initially she had actually suspected her father of landing her the meeting himself. His strong connections and influences from work meant that he would be more than able to reach out to the Professor for her. She had raised this theory to him as well. He promised her solemnly that he had absolutely nothing to do with it, and she believed him. Gwen had learned that her father’s promises were iron clad. For better and for worse.

Ultimately the letter was an invitation for Gwen to visit the Pallet Town laboratory the following Wednesday to meet with the Professor himself. “I have a very unique proposition that I’m positive will be of interest to such a serious and accomplished student as yourself.”

As she entered the Oak Pokemon Research Facility Gwen wondered once more what kind of proposition awaited her here.

Inside she was greeted by a polite, if not a little solemn receptionist whose black hair was tied up in a rather professional looking bun. After explaining the situation and producing the letter which the receptionist glanced at briefly behind a pair of spectacles, she escorted Gwen herself through the facility. It was only then that Gwen realised that the laboratory wasn’t as big on the inside as she had been picturing. Nor did she spot that many workers or scientists. As she followed the receptionist down the hallway she caught sight of a few through the small windows in the doors, and would have liked to stop and observe what they were doing but the receptionist was moving very quickly, her heels click clacking on the linoleum. Besides, she supposed that after meeting the Professor that perhaps she would be able to see some of the actual workings of the lab.

Quickening her pace a little in order to keep up with the receptionist’s long strides, Gwen said “I’m surprised, I think I was expecting to find more people working here. The Professor is so renowned, and his work is so famous…” The woman turned to offer Gwen a very small smile.

“Yes perhaps it is a little more… intimate than you’d imagine, isn’t it? The Professor is like that; he prefers to keep his circles smaller nowadays- ‘leads to increased efficiency’ he says.”

“Ah.”

“All in all there are in fact fewer than twenty personnel employed under the laboratory, including the onsite caterer and the janitor. A few of the employees you will rarely find here actually in the facility itself – they are often assigned to various locations throughout Kanto. For fieldwork.” The receptionist nodded, seemingly to herself. “Yes, perhaps you may even come across one or two of them.” Gwen frowned at that.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh,” the receptionist gave her yet another small smile. “Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself a little.” Before Gwen had a chance to question this further or even give it any personal thought, they came to what appeared to be the end room of the facility and Gwen was faced with a set of large, dark wooden doors. Once again she could feel the butterfree dancing in her stomach. She shivered.

“This would be the professor’s own personal laboratory and study,” said the receptionist, placing an expertly manicured hand on the polished doorknob. “I’m afraid the professor has actually stepped out briefly, and in the meantime has requested that you all wait for him in here.” The door was opened for her. “I should think he will return shortly.”

As she stepped through the large doors Gwen gave thanks to the receptionist, who only nodded and gave another smile in return. Her teeth were pristine and perfect, of course. It was only then that Gwen grasped the full meaning of her words. She said ‘you all’… you all? Who else is comin-

But then the door was shut from behind her and Gwen came to the sudden realisation that she was not alone in Professor Oak’s personal laboratory and study. Nor was she – now suddenly piecing the situation together - in all likelihood the only person to receive an invite for today.

Sitting on the curved sofa, facing her practically dead on, was a boy. The first thing that grabbed her attention was the red baseball cap that donned his dark hair, framing his equally dark eyes that seemed to pierce through her in a way that was all too familiar to her. Oh god, it’s him.

“Oh go- it’s you.”

Gwen practically gasped, partly out of shock of seeing the boy and partly out of her own stupidity. And then realising how rude of a greeting that was to give anyone, she immediately overcompensated by flashing him one of her patented bright, welcoming Gwen smiles. “I’m sorry! I just wasn’t expecting anyone else… to be here already.”

The boy said nothing in return. Gwen’s smile wavered only slightly. She suddenly felt very awkward and, realising she was still holding the invitational letter, she hurriedly stuffed it into the small shoulder bag that she had brought with her. She could feel the first few signs of the familiar anxiety-fuelled panic creeping up on her. She fumbled to the large sofa and placed herself down on the adjourning end to him with all the remaining grace she could summon. The sofa was designed in such a way that they were now facing one another. Gwen crossed her legs and attempted to regain some of her shaken composure.

“You’re… Red aren’t you? We were in the same home room once. Back in Viridian High.” It was half statement, half question. The boy’s only reply came in a very short, brief nod. So short that Gwen was uncertain if it was even an intended response. O Arceus have mercy, she thought. It had to be Silent Goddamn Red.

The boy was no true stranger to her. Two years prior they had been in the same form room. But yet despite that, nearly everything about the boy who had earned the schoolyard nickname of “Silent Red” had eluded her, as it had just about the entire student body of Viridian High. As he spoke only when the situation absolutely demanded it of him, which was surprisingly rare, Gwen could barely remember what his voice sounded like. He was something of a small mystery back in school, she remembered, as the majority of the students who attended Viridian High were from the city itself rather than from Pallet Town, where she knew that he lived. It was one of the very few facts about him that she was sure of. Mostly everything else were rumours – schoolyard conjecture. Whispers.

One thing that had always stood out to Gwen, one thing she knew to be true of Silent Red, was his academic excellence in school. She remembered clearly in the brief period that followed an exam season, when the class’ test result rankings were displayed publicly in school for all to see, how this had always made an impression on her. At the end of each term, almost without fail, his name would occupy the second place spot in nearly every exam, one rank below her own. Nearly every single time. This, from the boy who never spoke up in class or put himself forward. And how could she possibly not take note of that? Out of their entire year he was the only one who ever came close to rivalling her own results. Though it was difficult to rival someone whose own test scores were often times perfect.

Back at the time she supposed this was why the majority of teachers seemed willing to accommodate his aloof, sullen ways and allow the strange boy from Pallet Town to keep to his muteness and solitude as often as they were able. It was hard to argue against excellent test scores, after all. Gwen would occasionally catch him out of the corner of her eye in class, silent as ever, staring intently at the teacher’s presentation or lecture with those dark, invasive eyes that seemed as if they could burrow down through you and expose all your secrets for the whole world to see. And now he was currently looking at her with those same eyes once more.

She attempted to smile at him again. He looked down at his feet. Weirdo.

Suddenly feeling exhausted with it all, Gwen made a decision to stop bothering to attempt even small talk with him, to create any kind of a conversation. She had tried it once before when they both were in school and she was not about to make the same mistake twice. He dropped out, she remembered. Early into their final school year, which had ended fairly recently. They were already in different home rooms by that stage, but even so the murmurings telling of Silent Red’s surprising departure from the school reached even her ears. The question of how somebody with test scores like his could find it within him to just up and drop out was one that plagued her for a while at the time. It was a question that remained unanswered now. Meanwhile, a brand new question plagued her instead: what could Professor Oak possibly require of Silent Red? It would have to be something they had in common. She supposed it was related to their academic merit although considering he hadn’t even bothered to graduate from school she doubted that theory somewhat.

Reminding herself that she had since decided to pay Red no mind in the future, Gwen instead turned her attention to the room itself which she hadn’t even considered since reacquainting herself with the brooding boy with the red hat. It was only now that she realised it was truly a room made up of two separate functions. The part on the door’s side of the room, where they were currently seated appeared to serve as a makeshift library. There were many bookshelves stacked with what appeared to be a variety of publications ranging from journals to encyclopaedias made up of multiple volumes. Gwen felt the very lightest tingling sensation on the surface of her skin; the all familiar feeling when something captured her interest unexpectedly. Her love for books and of obtaining fresh knowledge was an aspect of her own personality and character that she valued exceedingly. It was suddenly very tempting to arise and go investigate the small library of books Professor Oak had amassed here though she knew she was ultimately far too self-conscious under Silent Red’s obtrusive gaze to do anything of the sort. Besides, when the Professor did inevitably return she didn’t wish for it to be to the sight of a guest snooping in his office without permission.

Regardless it pleased her to see that the books weren’t only for show. Something about their appearance gave her the sense that they were well read and appreciated by their owner. The seating area they were currently in included the sofa itself and a couple of matching armchairs. The sofa felt very comfortable and plush though it certainly wasn’t too grandiose by any means at all. A healthy amount of natural lighting was allowed in through the partially drawn blinds, giving the room a relaxing glow that was making Gwen a little sleepy despite the situation. The entire study side of the room had a cosy, lived in atmosphere that went a long way to settle her recent flush of anxiety. The large wooden desk to the right had a few papers and files lying across it. It was a little untidy, but in a comfy sort of way she supposed.

The other side of the room, the side furthest from the door, was a complete and utter contrast. The Professor’s own personal lab, she supposed. The blinds appeared to be fully drawn on that side and the lights were much dimmed, to the point where they might as well not be on at all. Even so she could tell that section of the room was very white. The flooring even seemed to be different. The study side was floored with wooden panelling, the laboratory end having the same white lino flooring she had become used to. A clear distinction between study and laboratory, between serenity and science. Even though that side was dim, she could see the occasional flash of artificial colour from whatever high-tech machinery, monitors and computers were present there. That side of the room appeared cold to her, clinical. There was also a constant, lazy buzz and electric hum coming from that direction, much like the sound a satisfied combee makes towards the end of its working day, as it returns to the hive with all of its pollen gathered.

The awkward silence still hung between them. Gwen glanced at a clock that hung from one of the walls. The letter had told her to be there for twelve. The clock read ten past. And to think she had been so concerned about keeping him late in the first place.

Just as she began to wonder once more about their purpose in the Oak Pokemon Research Facility the large wooden doors were pushed open with an impatient force. Immediately she assumed that Professor Oak had at long last returned to the laboratory but she soon realised that an entirely different kind of Oak had entered the room.

Shit.

Blair Oak.

Oh, goddamnit.

Blair Oak, standing in the doorway.

This can’t be happening right now.

Blair Oak, standing in the doorway, wearing his trademark, smug half-smile as per usual.

No, no, no, no….

Blair Oak and Silent Red were both here. There was only so much disappointment Gwen could take in one day alone.

As soon as the new arrival spotted the two of them sitting there his eyes widened with exaggerated surprise, his smirk broadening into a fully-fledged grin. Blair snickered.

"Yo,” he said.

Son of a bidoof.

He practically swaggered into the room. Gwen could physically feel the disdain bubbling up inside of her.

Blair Oak was practically a local celebrity in both Pallet Town (where he lived) and Viridian. Everyone wanted to be a friend, everyone tried to be an advocate. Absolutely no one wanted to be seen as Blair Oak’s enemy. Being the grandson of the famous Professor, Blair’s own name carried with it its own kind of influence as a result. It suggested meaning, and importance as well as an allusion to wealth. And just like Silent Red, Blair too had been in her class two years ago. It had not been an enjoyable experience, all things considered.

Blair seemed to attract just about every type of person, especially girls. He was good-looking (Gwen saw little point in pretending otherwise even for the sake of spite,) with his dirty fair hair and dark brown eyes. In and out of school the girls flocked to him relentlessly much like a dustox to an open flame, too damn naive to realise what they sought after would inevitably burn them all in the end. The stories detailing Blair’s long history of conquest over at least a dozen different girls in school were common knowledge. Gwen would often be forced to listen to said girls, soon after the inescapable and unceremonious breakup that would follow the very short lived relationship. They would express their dejection and resentment with a strange pride, and all the while Gwen would be unable to shake the suspicion that their claims of betrayal and heartache were all more than a little exaggerated.

She could never help but suspect that secretly they enjoyed the feeling of vindication as well the drama that surrounded them as a result of being one of “Blair’s exes.” They weren’t just dating Blair Oak, they had dated Blair Oak and even had their heart broken by Blair Oak; they’d experienced the full Blair Oak package, so to speak. She supposed it made them feel particularly special, as if they were part of their own exclusive club. It all made Gwen feel sick.

As for the guys in school, though no doubt jealous of his infamous popularity amongst the girls, most of them tried to be known as a friend of Blair Oak; it was better to be just associated with greatness rather than be associated with nothing. A lot of the teachers either put up with or turned a blind eye to his arrogant attitude and occasionally disrespectful behaviour. No one wanted to be the teacher who put down the grandson of one of the most respected men in Kanto. Gwen had always resented the more lenient ones for their fickleness. As for her, she had sworn to herself to let her distaste for him be known if and when their paths crossed or he attempted any form of social contact with her. He never did. And Gwen was perfectly satisfied with that.

“So, this is quite the little party Gramps has organised isn’t it?” Blair laughed again at nothing in particular. It would seem that Professor Oak’s worldwide respect doesn’t carry to his grandson, Gwen thought. Blair took one of his hands out from the pocket of his navy bomber jacket and offered it to her, in what she could only see as an absurdly formal gesture coming from him. Is he trying to mock us?

Despite herself, she took it. His hand felt surprisingly soft.

He did the same for Silent Red who, she was somewhat shocked to see, shook Blair’s hand as well. Blair’s grin remained as he sat down between them on the sofa, arms stretched out across the edges arrogantly. This is my place, his body language seemed to say. Silent Red resumed looking disinterested with everything.

“Hang on,” he said suddenly, looking at her with fresh recognition. “Aren’t you that smart one? From school?” Before she could even respond he went on. “Didn’t you get like valicdelorean or something? For graduation. ”

"Valedictorian,” she corrected. “It really wasn’t a big deal though…” she feigned modesty. She was smart; her test scores were high because she had worked damn hard to make sure they were.

Blair’s smarmy grin deepened all the more. “Yeah I remember you. But didn’t you have that massive freak out last year?”

Gwen’s entire body felt as if it had seized up almost immediately. An instinctive response. Her eyes widened with panic and she gripped her left arm automatically close to her elbow, her nails digging into the skin. She couldn’t be sure, but she expected that all the colour was quickly draining from her face.Either her reaction wasn’t as physically pronounced as she feared or Blair was pretending not to notice. Either way he wasn’t intending on stopping that particular line of questioning.

“Yeah… Yeah… I definitely remember hearing something about that. Didn’t you…”

In the end it was Professor Oak who saved her. The large doors were opened once more and before Blair was able to continue, the man who had invited them all there finally arrived. In a handful of seconds Gwen was able to regain as much of her composure as she possibly could. Taking a deep breath she slowly relaxed her body and loosened the arbok-grip on her own arm.

Your name is Gwen Leif from Viridian. You are sixteen. Blair Oak is an asshole. He cannot take you away from yourself. No one can do that.

She had become something of an expert when it came to getting a hold of herself in very little time.

Gwen had never before seen Professor Oak in person. He was carrying a small pile of books under his arm and had on the same style of white lab coat as any of the few employees she had spotted beforehand wore, under which he was wearing a lilac polo shirt. Long into his fifties Oak remained a handsome man with a kindly face and greyed hair. As he entered the room he was wearing a pair of reading glasses but after placing the books he was carrying onto his desk he soon removed them. He smiled at the three of them.

"Ah! So you’re all here together. Good, yes, tha…”

“Gramps!” Blair interrupted him. “We’re fed up with waiting here!” It took a lot of effort for Gwen to resist pointing out that Blair had only just arrived compared to her. Arceus only new how long Silent Red had been there for, brooding. The professor frowned and peered at the clock. He appeared shocked.

“What?! It’s practically twenty minutes past!” He donned a sincerely apologetic expression. “Ah, do forgive me. One finds that time seems to have a habit of running away from you as you get on… But as all three of you are here then I do suppose we can get started.”

Gwen relaxed herself a little more. The professor had a kind of calming aura about him and as she had hoped she didn’t feel uncomfortable in his presence. Oak gave them all a long look in turn, his arms folded. He appeared to be surveying them. Like his grandson before him, he shook both her and Silent Red’s hand.

“Ah, Miss Gwenevere Leif. Yes, yes,” he said as she rose to shake his hand.

“Please, just Gwen,” she said with a polite smile before returning to the sofa.

“I believe this is our first time meeting in person is it not, Miss Leif? Ah, but I have heard so much about you from a friend of mine- your old Headmistress I do believe.”

“Mrs Brady,” Gwen said. She had been rather fond of her back in school.

“Yes, Mrs Brady. Lovely woman. Had a lot of good things to say about you, yes…” Whatever small patience in Blair had run dry.

“Hey, Gramps. Why don’t you start explaining why we’re here? You left that phone call this morning pretty vague.”

“Yes, yes Blair. That strong patience of yours is shining through clear as ever.” The Professor gave the other two a wry smile. Blair made a face.

“So, why you are all here. No doubt you are curious. As I mentioned in the letters I’d sent the two of you,” gesturing to Gwen and Red, “I have a rather unique proposition for you three.”

Professor Oak began to walk towards the far side of the room, the one that served as his laboratory. Gwen suddenly realised he was wearing slippers.

“And this proposition of mine begins,” he turned round to face them all once more, his kindly face smiling, “with entrusting each of you with a rare pokemon to raise.”

Gwen could once again feel the butterfree dancing in her stomach, her heart beat quickening from surprise. To her right she heard Blair gasp the word “finally” under his breath and out of the corner of her eye she thought she could see Silent Red grinning.

END CHAPTER ONE

​

Originally I'd intended for this one to cover much more ground than it does but soon into writing it became quickly apparent that if I'd put in everything I'd wanted to it would probably be more than double the length it is now which seemed excessive.

I promise the next chapter will be more eventful. There may even be actual pokemon in it.

 

[Treble Tech]

Hmm... Well, I'm intrigued, at the very least. I think it was good for a first chapter.

Noticed a few spelling or punctuation mistakes, but never anything more than a missing comma or a dropped letter. It wasn't ever a glaring problem, and I didn't see too many in the first place. If you want me too, I don't mind looking back over the chapter and finding examples.

I'm already starting to get see Gwen take shape; I think you're doing well there so far. Wondering what you're going to do with Blair and Silent Red, because at the moment they just seem to have the personality of their game counterparts. I do like the names, that was a nice touch.

Stranger still was how the letter began itself: “I welcome you to the world of Pokemon!”

Heh, clever. The references to the game scattered throughout, like in the letter, and the character names and personalities, were interesting. Be careful not to force it, though. I've seen people try to do something like that before (and not just with Pokemon), and if they try to take too directly from the source and find somewhere to shove it in, it can be a bit jarring. Really messes up the flow of the story. I think you did it well in this case, it's just something to keep in mind.

I liked it! Going to try to keep up with this. Still not sure where it's going, though. (So I guess I'm right where you want me at the moment )

 

[Crimson&Gold]

Thanks for reading, Treble.

Yeah as you say there are some definite spelling and punctuation mistakes. I'm playing around with the idea of a couple of minor tweaks to the first chapter that, by the time the second is ready to go, will probably be implemented. By then I'll hopefully have all of those mistakes ironed out. I appreciate you bringing them to my attention.

Wondering what you're going to do with Blair and Silent Red, because at the moment they just seem to have the personality of their game counterparts.

Haha, this was actually intentional, believe it or not! I mean, Gwen knows so very little about either of them, nor is she (as I'm sure is clear) too keen on them both: in this chapter Blair seems like a two dimensional prick because Gwen sees him that way. Rest assured however that there is much more to both of these characters than you would think based on this chapter alone!

Striking a balance of in-game references is definitely something I'm trying to hard to get right. As you say, there is a big risk of potentially cramming them in there for the sake of it. Will be sure to be wary of falling into that trap in the future.

Thanks once more for reading and as well all your points! Much, much appreciated.

 

[Beth Pavell]

I must say, I am quite surprised. I didn't really expect to enjoy this all that much when I picked it up, but, well, you'll see

Technical Accuracy/Style
I gather you've edited out those technical errors, which is an encouraging start. I spotted one misused word - “adjourning” where I think you probably meant “adjoining”. Besides that, your prose is pretty good, certainly the best in any new story I've picked up for a while.

Story
As I said, there are plenty of clichés in here. Picking up on the plot based ones first, well, Professor Oak offering some kid some kind of job has to be one of the biggest in the book. I think whether you really get away with it will depend on what Chapter Two turns out like. But in any case you made the right decision to split the chapter in two. Too many stories, especially journeyfics, don't take enough time to really get out of the door. And despite the fact that not many events have happened, a lot of perfectly good information comes across in this first chapter anyway.

Setting
Again, pleasantly surprised. I often get a sense of déjà vu reading about Pallet Town. For some reason everyone writes it almost exactly the same. But Oak's office has some good detail there to make it feel a bit more real and tactile.

Characters
Nice start with Gwen. So she's an academic powerhouse, possibly an overachiever. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that her meltdown was over self-induced stress. Her voice and the whole details of her life are good, they have a kind of versimilitude that works nicely. I quite like seeing her attitude towards “Blair's exes”.

The other two I can accept. Both Red and this story's version of Oak's grandson are entirely, completely as they are presented in the games - but to be fair there's enough texture on them so that it's not aggravatingly familiar. I personally don't have a problem with Blair being not much more than a jerk. Yes, it's supposedly a typical rival trait, but you know what, sixteen year old boys who have never really had to deal with any problems in their life tend to be little more than jerks till something makes them grow up.

Final Thoughts
If I were to pick out just one thing that vaguely bugs me about the chapter, I think it would be that bit riffing off the intro speech from the main series games. As a joke it's not all that amusing and I'm not sure that it really adds anything to the chapter.

 

[Crimson&Gold]

First of all, thank you so much for reading and for your comment; it means a lot that anyone would bother to comment on my stuff at all, but your review is so structured and thorough that I have to at least offer you special thanks for it. I'll try and take all of your points (the good and the bad) on board.

I cannot even pretend to deny that this story won't have more than its fair share of clichés in the beginning stages. I can only offer that as the story goes on then (I'm hoping,) these will really begin to dissipate in a big way. It's massively reassuring to hear you say that the first chapter conveys plenty of information. As I began to realise that Chapter One would essentially have to be split in two that became one of my main intentions. And now, as I'm working on the second installment, I'm more sure than ever that it was the right way to go about it. It's really important to me that my stories don't begin to slow and chug too often especially so in a "journeyfic" such as this one. Of course there will be points where the plot demands that it does (this early section kind of being one of them,) so I can only try and make sure that although the characters aren't up to much sometimes, I can still provide insight into the world and its people for the reader.

I personally don't have a problem with Blair being not much more than a jerk. Yes, it's supposedly a typical rival trait, but you know what, sixteen year old boys who have never really had to deal with any problems in their life tend to be little more than jerks till something makes them grow up.

Huh, I'm glad someone else shares my stance on this. There truly are times when someone really is just a bit of an asshole. Though of course I'm not saying that necessarily is the case here with Blair, nor am I insinuating that it should ever replace or rule out future character development. That would be absurd. It's just nice to know that I'm not alone in believing that a bit of a bad personality doesn't have to stem from a long, painful backstory or past; especially since I'm sure we have all encountered living proof in our own lives that this is not the case.

I do feel like I should attempt to clarify or at least offer an explanation as to the "Welcome to the World of Pokemon" line. The truth is it wasn't really intended as a joke; definitely it was meant for something that a fan of the games could pick up on. My reasoning behind it is that (and I do realise that this is never stated explicitly in the chapter,) Gwen does not. nor has never had, a pokemon of her own. Professor Oak is aware of this (though, once more, this is never really brought up here). When he writes in the letter that he is welcoming Gwen to the world of pokemon, he does not mean in the literal sense but rather by offering her one, he will be allowing her to see and experience pokemon in a way she has never done so before. In a way she will be entering into a new world.

I'm aware that this may open up a couple new questions, such as why Professor Oak would put something so vague and perhaps misleading in the letter. And all I can say to that is that it's kind of how I'm going about with Oak's portrayal. He thinks he has a pretty good idea of Gwen's character and knows that a confusing sentence like "Welcome to the World of Pokemon" would not only be something that would confuse her but to the point where it would really stick in her mind even after finishing the letter. He is happy in the knowledge that, after the time came for Gwen to find out that Oak was offering her a pokemon, she would likely think back to the letter and suddenly make sense of its meaning. Truth be told I was considering including a line or two referencing this somewhere in the second chapter. As of yet I'm still undecided on that part.

To cut a long story short, the line was really to attempt to emphasis an aspect of Oak's character: that he is, in his own unique way, a little eccentric and playful.

It's entirely fine if you don't like the line. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to change your opinion on it or anything. I just worry (even as I wrote it, I worried,) that it may be misconstrued as a pretty tacky way to reference the games alone, when I did have a slight bit more intent than that when putting it in there.

Again, thank you for all the comments you had. They have went a long way in encouraging me to to get on with writing Chapter Two.

On a total side note, I've been playing around with "The Colours of a Champion" for the title. That or "The Eight Colours of a Champion." I think both are better than "The Many Colours of Kanto" for sure. Still not 100% sold though.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Quick response while I'm at the keyboard. First up is, yes, I think that line could use some work, since to me it does rather look like a throwaway joke.

But anyway, in terms of pacing. I write a journeyfic myself, which has turned out to be rather successful - the point in saying this is that I've learnt that when it comes to slice-of-life elements in journeyfics, don't be afraid of the apparently slow chapters. I actually think that too many journeyfics are in a hurry to get out of the door, get to the first capture, the first badge, the first time the Evil Team turns up, all under the assumption that plot must mean action.

Whereas actually, if your characters are good enough then readers will be quite content to read about them arsing about on the beach for 1,000 words. Paradoxically you do have to be especially mindful when writing slice-of-life what each scene adds to the story ... the point is, getting closer to the characters is plot, too.

Oh, and hey, a fellow Brit!