TEEN: The Fool's Journey

[GrumpyPanda]

The Fool's Journey
​

One hundred years into the birth of the new frontier, the Athas Region, twelve-year-old Mel is about to start her pokemon journey. But all goes haywire when she and her new friends get thrown into a dark and sinister plot. A virus starts to spread across the region like none seen before, and the Faceless appear, a cult prophesying of a saviour, a God, who has the cure. Mel continues her journey in a desperate attempt to keep a sense of normalcy, but soon comes to realise that nothing is as at seems, everyone has a secret, and normalcy is not something that is easy to get a grip on.

Authors Notes
​

Many moons ago, back in the year 2012 I had an old account (now lost) on here where I first started posting a story called The Burning Affliction. Because of the new Pokemon game and current lock down in the UK I have become obsessed with Pokemon again and revisited this old fanfic I had. I’ve changed a lot of the plot and world building, although the first couple of chapters are still roughly the same and will be posting weekly to start with and moving to monthly when the lock down ends and I’m back to working again.

The setting for this is a region I have created myself called Athas, largely English inspired but also a bit of a melting pot culture. I’m currently just finishing off a map for it and will be posting it on here to help you guys follow along. I will possibly also be creating a world building thread to help but am not certain on that yet either.

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote any fiction, even though it used to be my life, so constructive criticism would be gladly appreciated! I hope you enjoy.

Chapters:
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Map
In progress
​

Content Warning: TEEN
This story will contain infrequent strong language and infrequent graphic violence

 

[GrumpyPanda]

The Fool's Journey
Prologue
​

Athas: The New Frontier

Do you dream of living on the frontier of a new region? Are you searching for exciting new pokemon and research opportunities? Can you pass a basic aptitude test? Then come to Athas, where prosperity awaits you in the unexplored terrain.

Athas colonists are guaranteed full employment. Enjoy a productive life in one of our many towns and cities. You’ll have access to every amenity: dining, schools, housing, and entertainment. In need of more thrilling excitement? You’ll never know what you’ll find in the wilds of Athas! Help our researchers explore and discover the secrets of the Athas region and expand our reach across the wild areas. Challenge and test your mettle against our own pokemon gym leaders! You’ll never know what you’ll find next!

Our colony has a place for everyone! Are you a brilliant scientist? An aspiring pokemon trainer? Or do you prefer working with your hands? It does not matter! We have something for everyone.

Better yourself through one of our livelihood improvements programs. Train your pokemon, expand your abilities, and strengthen your muscles.

Injured on the job? Not too worry! Our board-certified pokemon centres are state of the art. The Board cares about Athas residence' safety and wellbeing, that’s why all Athas workers are given the means to keep themselves company and defend themselves all in one! We’ve got grass pokemon, water pokemon, fire pokemon, and many, many more! Just pop into one of our corporate approved pokemon stores and you’ll find a wide range of licenced pokéballs, potions, dolls, and other items to keep your journey going!

Come join our corporate family! You won’t find a more inviting, friendlier, or harder working community in any other region!

 

[GrumpyPanda]

The Fool's Journey
Chapter One
​

No one talked about how daunting it was taking those next steps once the adrenaline had worn off. People only mentioned the first steps out of their hometown, cheered on by their friends and family, the paths they tread still familiar from their childhood explorations. Previous trainers implore that friends will be made straight away, that bonds will be formed with pokemon without an issue. That it was the best experience of their life. And everyone listens to them, and nods along, and believes.

No one questions why, if this is all true, they returned only after a few badges, why no one has seen or heard of the friends they met since, why their pokemon seem indifferent to them if out at all, or even still with them.

No, everyone just nods along and believes in their stories. Mel just nodded along and believed. Because the other option of realising that most are not cut out for it, that most return home before the year is out, that it is an outdated model and their “shiny new region” is crumbling at its foundations already. Really, it’s too much for a twelve-year-old to understand.

So, Mel followed the well-maintained path out of her village, one she had trod many times before. She felt brazened by the cheers and encouragement of her family and friends. She pushed down the foreboding sense in the pit of her stomach whenever her pidove strayed further than expected and tried not to think much of how she was sat eating alone at the Pokemon Centre cafeteria in the town over. But when she woke the next morning, with no more sense of wonder and excitement filling her eyes, she finally knew. She had been lied to. Everyone had been lied to. And when in a few hours she was due to call her friends who would be starting their journeys in the coming days, she knew she too would lie. They were all in too deep, and while deep down she knew it was all wrong, there was still that voice in the back of her head that nagged her. That maybe it was just her, maybe she was just the one that wrong, that she just wasn’t doing it right, and everyone else was fine. So, she pushed the realisations away to the back of her mind, threw back the blankets and sat in the dimly lit room, ready to take on the day. Or pretend to be ready anyway.

Looking around the room there were eight other bunk beds, but from what she could see, only four others occupied them. One she recognised from her town of Fallsage, a small farming town that was once planned to send their products across the region but largely now forgotten when the funding for their train station fell through. The others were unfamiliar and seemed to vary in age. Looking at the xtransceiver that lay beside her, she noted the time and sighed. When she woke up the day before at half six, Mel thought she would never wake up any earlier in her life. But as she sat completely awake in the uncomfortable bed, watching the minutes slowly rolling past five, Mel realised she was wrong. She changed as quietly as she could, but not even a rattata could move lightly enough to not make the old bed squeak. With her floral dungarees on and pyjamas packed away into her leather bag, she climbed down the ladder, slipped on her sandals and crept out of the room.

After going to the toilet and tidying her curly sandy blond hair into a messy bun, a white hairband keeping a few stray strands back, Mel headed down the corridor in search of the canteen, hoping it would be open. While it was still early, all the lights were on, and as she walked up the freshly washed stairs, Mel began to hear the murmurs of the kitchen staff and other early risers. Pushing a pair of white doors open she walked into the rather empty canteen, greeted by the smell of cooked breakfasts and coffee. Sitting at an empty table by the window, Mel slipped the bag off her shoulder and onto the floor. Looking outside she watched as the small town slowly came to life. The sun was rising over the surrounding woods, spilling golden light onto the old houses and buildings. Redhaze was one of the smaller actual towns in the region. It had been built to be reminiscent of old architecture, to give off the appearance of the red stone houses had been there for centuries when first built. Now a hundred years old, the town did look quaint, but also worn and not particularly well maintained outside of planting new flowers and throwing on a new layer of paint every decade or so. Outside of the Pokemon Centre Redhaze only really contained houses and home run or small businesses like a grocer, a bookshop and a small tea house.

Standing back up Mel went over to the breakfast buffet, pouring herself a juice and grabbing a bowl of fruit and a plate of small pancakes before sitting back down. As she ate her attention was diverted away from the town's life outside the window and to the muted TV screen in the corner showing the news. Without sound or subtitles, Mel could only just make out that the report was focussed on the research lab in the mountains just off Snowview City. The news finished, changing to an advert of Board-certified pokemon food: Nature’s Choice, it’s your choice! Without a second thought, she looked away and continued with her breakfast.

Draining the last of her juice Mel sat back in her chair, unsure of what to do. The previous night she had planned to phone her friend before leaving the town, but as it was only just six, she knew Alexis would not be up yet. With a small smile, Mel could not help but wish she had waited a couple more days before leaving, so she could have started with Alexis and celebrated her friend's birthday. But she knew Alexis would have none of it. She had said she did not want Mel to wait and celebrate her birthday with her because she did not want Mel to have to wait two more days before starting her journey, but Mel had a sneaky feeling that there was another reason. Alexis did not want to travel with Mel for her journey, at least not for the beginning anyway. They had been best friends for years, almost inseparable and always dependant on each other. Moving her gaze back to the window, she inwardly nodded. It was a good thing that they did not start their journey together, they both needed to learn how to be independent of each other, and this was the best way Mel could think of.

The door opened and Mel looked over to the girl walking in. She was tall, and Mel realised that she looked older than herself. A surprise really, as she had not seen an experienced trainer in person before. Her shoulder-length wavy brown hair was let loose, a black and white chequered trilby hat on her head and her hands clad with matching fingerless gloves. The kitchen staff greeted her as if personally knowing her and Mel could not help but wonder who she was. She walked with an air of confidence a celebrity might have, and not many trainers ever lasted for more than a year or so. The thought of her being a gym leader briefly crossed her mind, but the girl while older than herself still seemed too young for that honour.

Noticing that someone was watching her, the girl turned to face Mel, holding her breakfast on a tray. With a big, toothy grin she walked over and plonked herself sideways onto the chair on the opposite side of the table to Mel.

"I'm Olive; you were staying in the bunks weren't ya? You a new trainer?"

"Erm, yes. I started yesterday," Mel said, rather surprised by the forwardness of the girl now sitting in front of her.

"You'll get used to those beds after a while, they may be killer but it still beats sleeping outside on the ground. Though I guess the warm, starry nights spring and summer have aren't too bad. Camping in autumn and winter is never pleasant, even with the proper kit," Olive carried on, only pausing when taking a bite out of her scrambled eggs on toast. "So, what starter did ya choose?"

"Oh, my dad helped me catch a pidove with one of his pokemon," Mel said.

"Awesome, I started with a pawniard; he was like our house pet. It was good to start with an old friend like that I think, but he was pretty useless when battling to start with," Olive said with a laugh, placing her knife and fork onto her now empty plate and taking a sip from her coffee. "I remember my first battle with him, or well, lack of battle. He was so scared that he went back into the pokéball, leaving me to run away from a group of patrats. You got any war stories yet?"

"I tried to have a battle with a patrat, but it hit back and dashed off too fast. It was a pretty uneventful journey from Aldwall to here."

"Ah, patrats are like that. Quick little bastards they are, and vicious to sometimes"

"What pokemon do you have?" Mel asked, unsure if it was rude to ask but not caring either way.

"I've got a bisharp, lampent, panpour and a mienfoo. Mienfoo is my newest one, only caught her a week or so ago, haven't even given her a nickname yet. I'll show you them outside if ya like?"

Before Mel could reply a beeping came from Olive's xtransceiver. Looking down at her wrist she tapped it a few times before letting out an aggravated huff.

"But not right now, another time maybe then? I'll see ya around kid," Finishing her coffee in one gulp she picked her bag off the floor and walked out of her room, giving Mel a small wave before the door swung shut behind her.

Blinking slowly Mel realised she had not even given Olive her name or even been able to take a bite of her food during the whirlwind that was Olive. After finishing the rest of her food she checked the time and seeing an hour had passed decided to leave the canteen and call Alexis. It was still early, but her friend always woke up early on her birthday.

Smiling at the nurse stood at reception Mel made her way out of the pokemon centres lobby and walked over to a bench outside. Placing her bag onto the bench she fished out Pidove's pokéball, making a mental note to buy a belt which could hold six pokéballs.

"Rise an' shine Pidove," she said as she released the pokemon.

"Pidove," Pidove said, flying in the air before landing on the ground.

"Morning to you too."

Turning her attention to her xtransceiver Mel pressed a few buttons until a picture of Alexis appeared. Clicking the picture, the device began to ring. There was a short buzz, and her friend's face filled the screen.

"Happy birthday!" she practically screamed, earning her a few weird looks from people passing by. "How is the birthday girl?"

"I am absolutely brilliant, except for the fact that I have to be nice to my brother," she said sticking her tongue out at the screen. "My parents finally let me dye my hair red, can you see?"

"Yes I can see, these things aren't black and white y'know," Mel's eyes brightened as a thought came to her mind, bending down she scooped up her Pidove into her arm and moved him so he was in front of the xtransceiver. "Pidove says happy birthday a well." She hoped that her friend could not see how his talons dug into her skin, and how her eyes watered slightly with the pain. She would not admit to her mistake just yet.

"Pidove,” he chirped, oblivious to the discomfort he caused his trainer, or even why she had moved him there. Curious he tried to peck the screen.

"Thank you very much Pidove," Alexis replied in a voice of mock politeness before frowning. "Aren't his toes hurting your arm?"

"First they are claws," Mel said in an almost scornful voice, oblivious to her own error. "And second, yes they are so I'm gonna just place him down now."

Rolling her eyes Alexis waited on the other side of the screen as her friend placed Pidove onto the floor. Mel’s own face had turned red, both happy she had an excuse to put the bird pokemon back down and give her arm a break, but also felt the heat of embarrassment from being called out. Alexis never made silly choices like that. When she appeared back on the screen her friend smiled.

"I would show you my Snivy but the lazy thing is still sleeping." Suddenly Alexis face changed, morphing into a combination of anger and annoyance. "You will never guess what I saw yesterday after you left."

"What?"

"Course Chris couldn’t just be normal could he? You know his cousin the model? Yeah well she’s been on holiday in Sinnoh with her boyfriend, and he’s gone and caught him a shinx for his starter. He couldn’t even be bothered to catch his own! Or buy his own, always has to get someone else to do everything for him. How unfair is that?”

Chris didn't get the normal starter pokemon like me, or do what you did and catch your own. You know his cousin, the really nice girl? Yea well she had been on holiday in Sinnoh with her boyfriend and he caught him a shinx for his starter. I mean how unfair is that?

"That is just like him isn't it, guess the pokemon here aren't good enough for him," Mel growled, both at just the thought of Chris and the fact that a Shinx would have a type advantage over her starter. Ever since they were little, he always had to get one up over her, and he always did it so easily. But life was always easier if you had family working for the Board, even the minor position his father held. "But, let's not ruin the day with thoughts of him. What did your parents get you?"

After talking for a few more minutes Alexis had to go and they said their goodbyes, promising to call each other again after a couple of days. Sitting down next to her bag Mel looked down to Pidove who was lazily pecking at the grassy ground before looking up at the clear morning sky. Breathing in the cool air she closed her eyes, feeling the slight breeze against her skin. It was going to be fun to travel across Athas, see places she's only ever read about and meet so many pokemon and people. She was determined to make it so, no matter the darker thoughts that lurked in the back of her mind. Feeling Pidove nudging against her shin Mel opened her eyes and smiled at the pokemon.

"C'mon, I'll buy a belt and some treats, then we'll get going."

 

[System Error]

P
- Well this is already reading like one of those shady planned community ads.
- test your metal <- Typo, it's 'mettle' in this context! Unless it is a community of Steel type users.
- Improve yourself with an improvement programme. Kind of redundant wording.
- Not too worry! <- Typo, wrong two used.
- Come join our corporate family! <- This line is not at all suspicious!

C1
- It might be better to say "the next steps" or something to that effect, because those first steps are the easy ones thanks to the adrenaline. Still works, but reads a bit awkward.
- Already though in the first paragraph you're setting up something interesting. Mass denial. Unsure of every Pokemon acting indifferent though.
- Really, it’s too much for a twelve-year-old to understand. <- Yes, shoutouts to this! Some fics go on with kids who know a lot for their ages, but there's some things they don't and wouldn't logically get. Doing that myself on a small scale.
- been lied too <- Again, the wrong to. In fact a sentence later it happens again.
- Well, credit where it's due. You found a creative way to zip to the first town in a journey fic at a landspeed record, skipping by typical starting introductions a lot preach to do (and a lot forgot to do), but have it make sense and work.
- Looking round the room <- Should be around the room.
- slipped her bag of her shoulder <- Typo, off not of
- the red stone houses and been there for centuries <- This line horribly confused me until I realized it was just another typo. Had instead of and.
- Well, neat twist with best friends not traveling together due to wanting to get away from codependency. Makes me wonder though if there's something to this region that makes people so codependent? Or is it just something to do with the friends they supposedly make along the way?
- she looked older than herself to. <- Wrong 2 feat. to instead of too.
- You a knew trainer? <- New not knew.
- Guess we got an experienced one on our hands here. She's in and out pretty abruptly, but that seems to be the point of her character so.
- A scared useless Pawniard in battle? That's different. I like different takes on Pokemon.
- dashed of too fast <- Off not of
- she picked her bag of the floor and walked out of her room <- A twofer here. Another instance of needing off instead of of, and you say she's walking out of her room...but it's the canteen area that she's walking out of.
- during the whirlwind that that Olive. <- Incomplete sentence?
- Well I am not surprised in this planned shady community that you'd need to buy your Pokemon belt that has six Pokemon slots.
- "Morning to you to." <- The second to should be too.
- her friends face <- Should use friend's here.
- Well if you want to get super technical they are not toes or claws, but talons. In fact, toes is technically right.
- Feel this amusing scene would be a bit funnier if Mel was actually shown hurting/wincing/etc from the Pidove on her arm instead of just saying so.
- Not the most eloquent way to set up a rival, but it kinda works.

Okay. Interesting concept you have here. Very strong and unique intro to set things up, and you're doing a decent enough job of painting a picture of your original reason between that and even little things like the news report with the research lab in one Snowview City.. That said, this could really do with some proofreading. Usually I don't harp too much on this sort of thing, but yeah. Spotted a lot as you can see, to the point where it's half of what I commented about.

That aside, standing by to see where this journey in this not-so-happy region takes our plucky heroine.

 

[GrumpyPanda]

P
- Well this is already reading like one of those shady planned community ads.
- test your metal <- Typo, it's 'mettle' in this context! Unless it is a community of Steel type users.
- Improve yourself with an improvement programme. Kind of redundant wording.
- Not too worry! <- Typo, wrong two used.
- Come join our corporate family! <- This line is not at all suspicious!

C1
- It might be better to say "the next steps" or something to that effect, because those first steps are the easy ones thanks to the adrenaline. Still works, but reads a bit awkward.
- Already though in the first paragraph you're setting up something interesting. Mass denial. Unsure of every Pokemon acting indifferent though.
- Really, it’s too much for a twelve-year-old to understand. <- Yes, shoutouts to this! Some fics go on with kids who know a lot for their ages, but there's some things they don't and wouldn't logically get. Doing that myself on a small scale.
- been lied too <- Again, the wrong to. In fact a sentence later it happens again.
- Well, credit where it's due. You found a creative way to zip to the first town in a journey fic at a landspeed record, skipping by typical starting introductions a lot preach to do (and a lot forgot to do), but have it make sense and work.
- Looking round the room <- Should be around the room.
- slipped her bag of her shoulder <- Typo, off not of
- the red stone houses and been there for centuries <- This line horribly confused me until I realized it was just another typo. Had instead of and.
- Well, neat twist with best friends not traveling together due to wanting to get away from codependency. Makes me wonder though if there's something to this region that makes people so codependent? Or is it just something to do with the friends they supposedly make along the way?
- she looked older than herself to. <- Wrong 2 feat. to instead of too.
- You a knew trainer? <- New not knew.
- Guess we got an experienced one on our hands here. She's in and out pretty abruptly, but that seems to be the point of her character so.
- A scared useless Pawniard in battle? That's different. I like different takes on Pokemon.
- dashed of too fast <- Off not of
- she picked her bag of the floor and walked out of her room <- A twofer here. Another instance of needing off instead of of, and you say she's walking out of her room...but it's the canteen area that she's walking out of.
- during the whirlwind that that Olive. <- Incomplete sentence?
- Well I am not surprised in this planned shady community that you'd need to buy your Pokemon belt that has six Pokemon slots.
- "Morning to you to." <- The second to should be too.
- her friends face <- Should use friend's here.
- Well if you want to get super technical they are not toes or claws, but talons. In fact, toes is technically right.
- Feel this amusing scene would be a bit funnier if Mel was actually shown hurting/wincing/etc from the Pidove on her arm instead of just saying so.
- Not the most eloquent way to set up a rival, but it kinda works.

Okay. Interesting concept you have here. Very strong and unique intro to set things up, and you're doing a decent enough job of painting a picture of your original reason between that and even little things like the news report with the research lab in one Snowview City.. That said, this could really do with some proofreading. Usually I don't harp too much on this sort of thing, but yeah. Spotted a lot as you can see, to the point where it's half of what I commented about.

That aside, standing by to see where this journey in this not-so-happy region takes our plucky heroine.

Thank you so much! Quite embarrassed by just how many spelling/grammar errors there were, will definitely be proofreading more diligently from now on.

Yeah there's going to be a lot going on in the background with the region to start with, it definitely isn't all quite as it seems, and poor Mel is going to have a massive reality check with it soon.

 

[GrumpyPanda]

The Fool's Journey
Chapter Two​

There was one thought that kept passing through Mel’s mind as she hiked through the woods. Her feet hurt. It had been two hours since she had left the town of Redhaze, and what was once a well-made path beneath her had turned into a mixture of rocks, hard mud and large tree roots. As more twigs and loose stones made their way into her sandals she stopped with a huff, removing the sandals one at a time to shake out everything that had wormed their way into them. It only took one step for another twig to poke itself into the sole of her foot. She decided it would be a good time to take a break.

Just off the edge of the path Mel sat against a tree on the flattest patch of grass she could find and called for her pokemon to join her. Pidove, who had been flying above her, swooped back down to the ground and stared at her with blank beady eyes.

It was odd owning a pokemon, she had decided. As she emptied her shoes once more Mel watched as the pidove began pecking at the ground again, and she felt unsure how to interact with it. She knew she was lucky to have a behaving pokemon, but it did seem much more interested in pecking the ground than her. As he started to move closer, she felt her heart grow in hope that maybe he was concerned about her, but it was quickly dashed as he instead tried to make his way into her bag. It dawned on her that Pidove was probably hungry, and quickly moved to get his food, not wanting the criticizing thoughts of how long it took her too figure that out to dwell. Grabbing the bag of Board Approved Nature’s Choice Bird Pokemon Food: Nature’s Choice, it’s Your Choice, she scattered it onto the ground in from of her. Noticing it, Pidove perked its head up from the ground and flew over; picking at the mixture of seeds and dried worms.

Leaning back against the tree she rested her head on the rough bark and closed her eyes, the tiredness which had deserted her that morning creeping back. While the temptation to sleep was strong, she pushed it away. It was a long walk from Redhaze to Valmere city, one she knew she would not make in a day. Getting out of the woods alone would take up most of it, and she did not want to still be in them by nightfall. While much of the region had been tamed and deemed safe decades ago, wild pokemon were still wild pokemon. Just because a path had been laid down it did not mean they stopped venturing onto it. She was in their territory. Opening her eyes once more she blinked away the tiredness, staring aimlessly in front of her. The empty site in front of her was unsettling but she could not place why.

Pidove.

She jumped to her feet, glancing all around desperate to catch a sight of her pokemon.

“Pidove,” she called. “Pidove come back.”

With no reply to be heard Mel felt consumed with panic. She ran into the middle of the path, eyes scanning the sky and surrounding trees. She called out again with a cracked voice, but only heard trees rustling in the wind. Again she called, and again and again, to be met with nothing.

A soft growl came from behind her, almost blown away in the wind. With rigid movements, Mel turned to face source as the growl increased, joined with others. Glowing red eyes met her from the shadows of the woods. A pack of patrats prowled out with slow movements, eyes locked onto her, saliva foaming at their mouths. As they stalked towards her Mel took a nervous step back, too afraid to call out in case they attacked. A lump formed in her throat as the growls crescendoed. One lunged. Mel screamed. She fell over her feet and onto the ground with a crash, the stones grazing the palms of her hands.

The patrats reached her; one bit her ankle, another her leg, others lashed out at her arms as she shielded her face and tried to knock them off. There’s a caw from above her, almost drowned out by her cries. Swooping down Pidove grabbed a patrat in his talons, flying up and flinging it away. As the pack shifts their focus to the newcomer, Mel took her chance to kick the rest of them off her and scrambled back.

“Pidove use gust!” she fumbled with the words as she stands, heart pounding in her chest.

Hovering above, Pidove flaps his wings faster and created a gust of wind pushing the pack further away. Mel covered her face with her arms as the wind berated her with whipped up sticks and stones. Pidove relented and landed back on the ground, the patrats scampering back off into the bushes. Shocked at what just happened Mel fell to her knees, scooped up her pokemon and hugged it to her chest. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and released Pidove from her grip, realising she must have been crushing him.

“Thank you,” she said stroking his head before frowning. “But don’t you ever fly off like that again okay.”

“Pidove,” the pokemon replied tilting its head.

Standing back up Mel took out Pidove’s pokéball from her belt.

“Time for a rest, aye? You did well,” she said before pressing the white button.

Placing the pokéball back in her belt Mel walked back over to where her bag sat; opening it she took out a small first aid kit knowing that she would need to clean the scratches even if all she wanted to do was leave the woods as fast as possible. A good ten minutes later Mel was on her way out of the woods, her pace clearly faster than before. With every step, her eyes darted into the surrounding shrubbery. Patrats were no longer on her good list.

By the time she reached the edge of the wood, the sun was setting. The road beneath her feet was becoming paved again, but Mel knew she would not reach Valmere town before dark and would need to set up camp. With a stroke of luck, not that far down the road she could see a makeshift campsite full of lights, the sound of music just drifting to reach her. With her curiosity piqued Mel carried on, her pace turning to a slight jog. If it was a group of trainers’ maybe they would let her camp with them? Maybe she would finally be able to make a friend.

Once Mel had them in sight, she went back to a walk again. It was not a group of trainers, or at least she did not think that was what they were. Just off the side of the road there was a mixture of colourful caravans and tents, all surrounding a large campfire. Sat around it was people of all ages, and around the camp children and pokemon ran loose playing with each other. As she got even closer Mel realised there were a lot of pokemon out, some not native to the region, and a few even dressed up in clothes and beads. Three of the men by the campfire each held and played an instrument, one a guitar, the other a pair of bongo drums and the last a harmonica. Beside them sat a particularly old lady with long greying hair and besides her plaiting it was - Mel blinked. The sight of Olive was not one she expected to see, but in a way, she fitted in with this motley bunch. Looking up Olive spotted Mel, and with one hand waved her over.

“Hey kid! Fancy seeing you here.”

“Hi Olive,” Mel said, her nerves clear in her voice as she walked over.

“What happened to your arms?” Olive said, a frown coming to her face as she looked down at Mel’s legs to see similar scratches and bites. “And your legs?”

“Patrats,” she said sheepishly. “You were right, they are vicious things.”

“Damn, well you still turned out better than I did,” Olive agreed, but her face lit up in its usual cheerfulness again and she gestured to the old lady beside her. “Meet grandma.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mel,” she said with a small smile, a bit shocked to find out that the calm old lady was Olive’s grandma.

As if reading Mel’s’ thoughts Olive laughed; placing grandmas now plaited hair down.

“She’s not my grandma, I just met her today. Nah, everyone calls her grandma,” Olive explained. “She can tell your fortune, it’s so cool! Why you still standing c’mon sit down next to me.”

“Sure it’s alright, I mean, they don’t know me?” Mel said cautiously as she sat on the tattered blanket beside Olive, placing her backpack to her side and glancing at the old lady. Grandma stared off into the fire, seemingly oblivious to all that was happening around her.

“They don’t know me either, but their nice folk,” she said leaning back on her hands as she closed her eyes. “I mean listen to that music, forget what the Board says about them. Separatists are hardly that different to us.”

Mel frowned, unsure what the older girl meant. Separatists? The name rang a bell, but all she could think was extremist group she learnt about at school. They were violent, wanting to destroy the peaceful and well provided life the Board had worked hard to set up for everyone. These people did not look like the photos she had seen in her textbooks. She must have misheard, or perhaps Olive misspoke. But instead of questioning it and appearing foolish, she copied Olive’s movements and listened to the music, staring up at the starry sky. It was a gorgeous night, the sky was clear from clouds, and Valmere City far enough away still that it’s light did not dull the full moon or sparkling stars. Not wanting Pidove to miss it she picked out his ball from her belt and released him. He hovered in the air for a moment before landing beside her, peering around curiously.

“Pidove meet Olive, Olive meet Pidove,” Mel introduced.

“Nice to meet ya Pidove,” Olive said with a laugh, gently taking his wing and shaking it. “Oh, I’ll show you Hatsy. The other three would be grouchy if I woke them up now.”

Taking the red and white pokéball from her belt Olive released a panpour. The pokemon gave a delighted screech at being let out and clambered up onto Olive’s lap. Reaching up with its blue arms the pokemon took the trilby hat off Olive’s head before placing it on his.

“I woke up in the middle of the night once to find him having broken into my camp and trying on my hats, so I asked if he wanted to join me, and he became Hatsy,” Olive said, turning the pokemon around on her lap so that he faced Mel. “Now, say hello to Mel.”

“Panpour,” the pokemon said, using his paw to tilt the hat towards Mel as a greeting.

As the evening carried on Mel felt almost at home with the mixed group. Her pidove and the panpour got on well and were both snuggled together on the floor asleep. Having seen how close the older girl was with her pokemon Mel began to believe her earlier worries and doubts was simply nothing more than cold feet. It must have just been a coincidence that she had not met a more experienced trainer before, or even heard of one outside of the television or school. It would take time, but she would become close with Pidove, and stick to being a trainer like Olive.

Where Olive, however, had gone, she wasn’t so sure. About an hour before she had told her to keep an eye on Hatsy before walking off with some others from the camp, and Mel had not seen where she went after that. But as she lay on the floor, feeling the warmth radiating from the fire and watching the stars twinkling in the night sky she felt no worries. It was too nice an evening for worry and all previous thoughts of the pack of vicious patrats had left Mel’s mind. Anyway, she had decided a while ago that the patrats were not being particularly evil when attacking her; she had probably stopped in their territory. Still, she never wanted to catch one after that no matter the reason for them attacking her. Those glowing red eyes would forever be engraved in her mind. Mel frowned. Since when did patrats have glowing red eyes? Or frothing mouths for that matter?

But as the soft melody played from the people beside her waft around the campsite, Mel felt her eyes become heavy and droop until they were closed. Like most of the children she drifted into sleep, not hearing as Olive staggered back to her place and almost collapse giggling onto the floor.

 

[System Error]

C2
- Man do they not even give you proper shoes on this journey? What a mess this region is.
- Get uh, out of the bag, Pidove?
- I love how the full long name of the brand of bird feed is used here.
- Valmere city <- Should probably either capitalize city or rearrange it to be "city of Valmere". Given that it's later capitalized however, and that it was in earlier instances, it probably should be here too.
- “Pidove come back.” <- Missing comma
- Wow full on rabid murderous Pokemon. Personally always have mixed feelings when fics go in this direction, but eh.
- “Pidove use gust!” <- Again a missing comma
- like that again okay. <- And once more feat. missing question mark
- Pidove flaps his wings faster and created <- Sudden drift from past to present and back again tense.
- Props for actually paying attention to the wounds, though the earlier description makes them seem worse than what they are.
- Clearly faster than before to who?
- Valmere town <- Again missing capitalization.
- "Trainers’" there shouldn't have a possessive apostraphe
- Wait just some random roadside festival?
- besides her plaiting it was <- It was what?
- Missing apostrophe in grandma's
- They're/their mixup at one point.
- Ooo and hinting at the plot already. Introducing the Separatists! Who seem a lot like hippies. Fight the power!
- It's/its mixup.
- Hatsy? Well fun and fitting nickname. Minus infinity points for using an elemental monkey however.
- She mentions wondering where Olive went yet she is never seen leaving or even suggested to have done so on-screen
- Well she certainly saw the frothing mouths. Something is up unless she is an unreliable narrator.
- Heheh. I see Olive was likely up to something dirty. Or drinking. Or both.

We're moving right along here. Do like that you're keeping the pace gradual yet not dilly-dallying either, a good thing for journey fics. Formally meeting back up with Olive and meeting Grandma who may or may not be important later. Let's see where it goes next!