Well, chan can be used with guys too. I use it with a friend of mine. His whole family does, but he doesn't seem to care for guys calling him this, but doesn't have a prob with girls calling him that. It just depends on the nature of the relationship, really. Male friends can even use it with each other. I heard it when working at a Japanese JHS, so yeah. lol
But as it was probably pointed out, you should always refer to people using "san" unless you get close enough to said person where you can use something more friendly, like no honorific at all. Like the example above. Sometimes I use "chan" sometimes I don't use it at all. With others, I don't call them by their family names anymore and maybe go by their given names + san. I only do so out of habit, mostly, though, especially if the person is older than I am. It's also kind of instinctive to use an honorific if said person uses one with you, unless you tell said person not to, like I have.
"Okay, we hang together as friends. Drop the -san!"
"Oh, okay, Wendy."
"That's more like it....but you can call me Wendy-chan."
"......."
"Joking!" lol
The only time said person would use "san" with me, is if he's talking about me to someone else. He'd use "san" out of politeness and I notice many people do that. If he/she is talking about a person, they'll use "san".
IMO, the best way to learn them is to write them and to use flashcards. I know one person who remembers her kanji by breaking down the character into parts to help her remember the meaning. For example, the kanji for car is 車. I remember it because it looks like a cart/buggy to me, like a vehicle. It helps to transport things from one place to another. Of course it's an old character, but has the same function. Maybe the general population don't go driving buggies, but they drive cars, so yeah. I know, weird.
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