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The Little Things about Love and Romance♥

Who is the fairest of them all?
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You know those feelings you get when you fall in love for the first time? The sweaty palms, racing heart, your head is in the clouds, butterflies in your stomach? We’ve all been there. We have that special person in our lives who makes us feel this way. Whether you need advice on how to win their heart, or you’re here to talk about your experiences with your loved one. Please, share it with us. However, Before posting, please keep these points in mind.


#1. When posting, stick to your experiences as much as possible.
- When debating/discussing/chatting, base your points on what you experienced, or what happened around you.
- While talks do not need to follow a strict topic, any topic must be based on experience. Hence, you cannot link or post to a newspaper article to start a discussion.
- When giving advice, you may provide a link to a trusted resource. Even so, discussion on the resource itself will be regarded as off-topic.

A moderator may give a public warning if he/she finds that the discussion has become off-topic per the thread rules. This is a sign that the current discussion needs to stop. Ignoring this can lead to warnings/infractions.

#2. When giving advice, be responsible and know that your advice can affect those interested. Also, be careful when taking advices as they may not be the perfect solution for you.


#3. Flaming at a user, based on his/her experiences, will not be tolerated.
Commenting on errors in a person’s experience is fine. However, taunting or insulting the person is not allowed.


#4 When dealing with Online Relationships, it’s okay to talk about them. However, we won’t tolerate Intersite Drama or Flaming. If you want to talk about a bad relationship, you should only speak about it in a way that does not mention the other member or point towards them. This also goes along with saying that you can’t mention the other member in such a way that it creates drama with other members.


#5. If you aren't sure if the online relationship you're in is a healthy one, please take a look at the Internet Safety Guide.


#6. If you have any concerns, problems, or have a serious problem, please contact @Every Breaking Wave.
 
grass princess
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I apologize ahead of time for the essay. XD

Okay, so throughout most of my life, my love life was...non-existent. XD I NEVER had boyfriends, never got asked out on dates or anything. I got crushes, but these were mainly on actors and musicians, no one I went to school with. In high school I developed a gigantic crush on this one popular boy in my grade who seemed to go out of his way to be nice to me--saying hi in the hallway and giving me high fives and stuff. I remember being really flattered because pretty much no other guys were really nice to me except for my guy friends. But anyway, I was head over heels for this guy. Obviously it never went anywhere, especially when he started dating another girl, but in the end, it WAS just a crush. I wasn't in love with him or anything.

Then, during my junior year, I joined Bulbagarden. Several days later, I got a friend request. Since I used to lurk BMGf before I joined, I wondered if I'd recognize the person who sent it. I didn't--it was someone named Halberd Alpha (he went on to call himself It's Tails!, Knux, Chaos Control, Chaos Chikorita, Tales of Chaos, Halberd Bravo, Miller, Crazy Gaston, My Little Ponyta and now Rainbow Rapidash), who apparently had joined just four days before me. I accepted his friend request and we got to talking. We became friends pretty quickly, and soon we were inseparable. A while later, maybe a month or so, he sent me a PM confessing that he liked me. I was blown away. I liked him too, but at the same time, I didn't really feel ready for a relationship or anything. For four more months we stayed best friends, though because we liked each other there was tension between us. Then in July, I just realized, out of the blue, that I was in love with him. And we became official. Early September of that year, I gave him my phone number so we could secretly talk whenever I was on break at school. I wanted to keep it from my parents because I didn't think they'd be accepting, but I eventually got caught in November. I'm ashamed to say this, but I lied and said I had just met him over the summer, not months previous online, because I knew they would never let an online relationship happen. It took them a while, but now they fully support the two of us. We have yet to meet up, but I know when we do it'll be the greatest experience of our lives. We've been together for over two years and we're about as in love as two people can get. At first I thought the age difference would be difficult (he's four years older than me), but it's easier than I ever would have imagined. I used to scoff at online relationships, but after this (and seeing so many other people here fall in love), I think they're a pretty damn fantastic idea :D
 
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WHAT.
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@Insanish Danish I think that's awesome :D

I didn't think that online relationships were often formed between forum members, but after looking around a bit, I can see that I was wrong. I feel a bit less shy about it now.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you're happy!
 
Master Trainer
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well for the relationship i am currently in. my friend asked me if i wanted to go with her to our winter dance and i said yes. at the dance we were flirting and having a fun time and by the end she was my girlfriend and we have been together going strong for around 10 months. she is the best and i love her <3

i would say for advice to date someone to have the male be stronger. um yea my gf is stronger than me. also make sure that you two have similar interests and make sure to date someone you will love.
 
The Greatest Pokémon Ranger
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Here's the story of how Feli and I fell in love.

Let me start by saying that I did not approve of long distance relationships, especially internet ones, at first though this was probably because of my mom's prejudice towards them. Either way, I met Feli on the day I signed up for Bulbagarden. We were role playing together back when I still role played. It was in a game set up by her IRL college friend. It was fun and it put us on good terms with each other.

Over the next year we occasionally had contact with each other. One time we spent about 3 hours trading together and talking. I learned she was actually a girl (Edo-kun is such a confusing name) and found I enjoyed talking to her. She was one of my first real friends on the Garden, though not THE first.

When I got onto the staff she was already there, and when you spend that much time around the same people, you can't help but get to know them. We found we had a lot in common. A LOT. Seriously, if I made a list of all the things we share in common it might take you a half hour to get through it.

After seeing a picture of her for the first time I admit I found her rather attractive, though I still regret my initial attraction being to... er, certain other physical traits. I kinda wish I had fallen in love with her eyes, which are the most beautiful pale green I've ever seen. They sparkle when she smiles.

We started private IMing in November of 2010 and I think it was around then we started to realize our feelings for each other, though I don't think either of us wanted to admit it. Both of us were already in relationships at the time, though I don't think we were all that happy with them. I know I wasn't.

It was 1 AM on December 19th when she told me she loved me. Not liked, loved. It was.. surprising, and I wasn't sure how to react. But I found that I shared her feelings. I had come to love someone I'd never actually met. She was my best friend. She cared about me. She listened to me. She liked me for who I was. She didn't judge me.

Feli and I both ended our relationships by February and started an online one in secret. Our parents didn't know. Our friends didn't know. The staff here didn't even know for a week after the fact. We were afraid of being judged, of people trying to pull us apart.

It was rough at first. Long distance relationships are not easy. I'll admit we had a couple arguments and the pain of being apart was pretty bad at times. I cried more than once because I missed her.

This was the first time I was ever in love. I had to ask myself one time if it was even love I felt. I know now that it is. I love Feli so very, very much.

In June of this year, about a week after our 6th month anniversary, my parents discovered her. It was not a good time. We're still recovering from it. We told her parents about three or so weeks later. They seemed to be okay with it. All at once, the weight was lifted from our shoulders and we could be public. Let me say that having a relationship in secret is no fun. If you can't be open about it, it's just that much more difficult.

In August of this year we met for the first time. We spent a whole weekend together. I could go on and on about how amazing it was but let me sum it up with this. Feliciano is beautiful in body, mind, and soul. She's absolutely perfect. That weekend we spent together strengthened us like you would not believe. I miss her so much now, more than I ever have. I loved being with her. I loved making her smile. It was such a magical time that I will never ever forget.

My advice on relationships, especially long distance relationships, can be summed up in a few words. Trust. Honesty. Respect. Communication. Those four things are the principles of love. You cannot have true love without all four of those. I trust Feli. I am honest with her. I respect her. I talk to her and I listen to her. Our bond is strong, even though the distance is over 1000 miles. I strongly believe she will always be in my life. I would not hesitate to call her my soul mate, the love of my life, or the perfect person for me. That's what she is and always will be. I believe that. I am committed to this relationship and I am committed to her. Over these past 8 months she has been so loyal, never wavering once. I am so grateful for that and I believe she will always be like that.

Love can be a hard thing to find, but when you find it, it's the most powerful thing in the world. I wish you all the best of luck, and I hope you all end up just as happy as I am.
 
From Fruity Basket
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Well, it looks like Dana has already told our story. :]

But let me add a little of my point of view to that. When I first met Dana, I simply sent her a friend request because she had begun posting in the old Random Messages thread--which I frequented at that point--a couple of times, and since I figured I'd be seeing a lot of her and talking to her, I might as well reach out to her. I thanked her for accepting the friend request, and she responded with a very friendly and polite "You're very welcome. :]" We got to talking, and the more we spoke, the more I liked her. She spoke in such a warm and friendly way and was always so much fun to talk to--she was a good listener and had a very sweet temperament. It wasn't long before I was VMing her every day, and I vividly remember looking up at the moon one night and realising that I was beginning to develop feelings for this wonderful person. I confessed these feelings to her a few days later, and she admitted it was mutual. As Dana said, it would be another four months before we made it official, but man, was it worth the wait. I have learned and grown so much from being with Dana. I have made miles of progress as a person and learned more about love, life and myself than I ever would have without her. Because of the first four months we spent as best friends, we had a solid foundation of friendship on which to build our blossoming relationship. She's accepted all my flaws and quirks. She's always been my shoulder to cry on, and her unconditional love and determination and passion have been inspiring. I admire and respect her maturity, her passion and her dedication. I adore her sweetness, her kindness and her compassion. I'm always impressed by her intelligence, logic and creativity.

I could not be happier or more proud to call myself the boyfriend of Bulbagarden's very own Insanish Danish. That sweet, funny girl whose kindness and warmth won my heart from the very beginning.

During our very first conversation, I remember sending her a VM that said "I think I'm gonna like you." It's funny...I had no idea how right I was going to be about that.

My Dana <333
 
Orange And Black October
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Since I currently have deeper feelings for my crush, might as well talk about so I can feel better.

Well, my story is a very incomplete one. This is in a period of over three years. It's about me and this girl named Mia that I really like. She's smart, and she's also Filipino, like what I am.

It all started in my first year of middle school, 6th grade. I was just amazed at her and had the courage to ask her out on a rainy afternoon. Back then, I was really nervous and scared to talk to her. Then a couple letters went. Then the whole year. When we were signing our yearbooks, I soon got Mia's. I wrote my name, then my number. That was the last day I ever got to talk to her. Little did I know back then that I wouldn't be seeing her for three years.

But wait, there's more.

Over the years, I have slowly regretted my mistakes and nervousness from 6th grade. I've suddenly started falling in love more and more. But the closest I can get to her were quick glances at church. I've always wanted to talk to her, but I moved to a different school, so I didn't see her every day.

Now I hope to see her in high school next year, once I'm done with 8th grade. I hope to say what I've wanted to say three years before, in 6th grade. And I also hope to make my story complete.
____________________________________________________________________
This was a very emotional post for me. I really think it helped my feelings get out and make me feel better. I hope you enjoyed my story. It's okay if you kinda cried as well.
 
Summoner of Lightning
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Just figured I'd post here, and sorry in advance if this ends up being an essay.

As many people who know me would agree, I am a hopeless romantic. I have had countless crushes, some of which were serious and some of which were just me unknowingly trying to find a way to feel the multiple things that make love a unique feeling unlike any other.Right now I kind of have a girlfriend, who is the new girl in my class from Bulgaria. The reason I said kind of is that while we are extremely close friends already, we technically by most standards are not a couple.Hopefully this will change for the better very soon :)
 
Born at a Yung Age
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I taught the weeping willows how to cry.......

I am the ultimate hopeless romantic.

I fell in love so many times I can't even count it all.

There is only two words that can describe the wisdom I gained from all this

"Never hesitate"
 
Standing firm.
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I've only had one relationship, a couple of months ago. She reminded me a lot of Misty/Kasumi - small, scrawny, but ridiculously spunky and proud. She wanted no one to, metaphorically, hold her hand - she wanted to pay things her own way, she wanted no one to think she was defenseless and puny, she was just very independent. We hit it off pretty well and stayed together for 2 months, watched movies together, went on little walks around parks and ate dinner together, things like that. I had a impasse of classwork and a job laughing at me throughout it so we only saw each other semi-regularly, but otherwise it was ok.

Then suddenly in mid-April, she texted me telling me that she couldn't handle a relationship with everything going on and wanted to call it off. Feeling like I understood where she was coming from about outside influences, I agreed that this could hold off until the summer, at least.

A week before finals began, I was walking to class, and I caught a glimpse of her walking back to her dorm. She was with another man, holding hands. That hurt me badly, especially with finals about to rear its head.

In hindsight, I can see the mistakes I made in the relationship, so despite the holy-shit-what breakup and subsequent discovery, this was a nice learning experience, which is really what a first relationship should be most of the time. I loved, I got hurt incredulously, I looked back, and I got back up and am ready to move on and try again until I strike gold.





As to why I still have my ex on my Facebook friends list, where I can always see her updates and her boyfriend's comments, I have no clue. I must be a secret emotional masochist.
 
Paint it black
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Since I currently have deeper feelings for my crush, might as well talk about so I can feel better.

Well, my story is a very incomplete one. This is in a period of over three years. It's about me and this girl named Mia that I really like. She's smart, and she's also Filipino, like what I am.

It all started in my first year of middle school, 6th grade. I was just amazed at her and had the courage to ask her out on a rainy afternoon. Back then, I was really nervous and scared to talk to her. Then a couple letters went. Then the whole year. When we were signing our yearbooks, I soon got Mia's. I wrote my name, then my number. That was the last day I ever got to talk to her. Little did I know back then that I wouldn't be seeing her for three years.

But wait, there's more.

Over the years, I have slowly regretted my mistakes and nervousness from 6th grade. I've suddenly started falling in love more and more. But the closest I can get to her were quick glances at church. I've always wanted to talk to her, but I moved to a different school, so I didn't see her every day.

Now I hope to see her in high school next year, once I'm done with 8th grade. I hope to say what I've wanted to say three years before, in 6th grade. And I also hope to make my story complete.
That's so sad. I hope it works out between you guys. Reading your post reminded me of my own romantic tale...

I only moved to my school district in fourth grade. I still feel out of touch with everyone, because of all my bad experiences in elementary school. I was extremely tall for my age (5'4", or something) and I guess I acted really different from everyone else. I think I still had a pretty thick midwestern accent then too. Whatever the reasons, I never fit in. People made fun of me so much that I just stopped interacting with them. At recess I sat in the back of the yard on a benches. Everyone misunderstood me for some reason. (If your wondering how this is related to romance, keep reading) Anyways, I was really excited for middle school, because only a third of the people in my grade would know me. But, it turned out the word about me spread really fast. I was the freaky tall foreigner that was way too smart to be considered normal. Anyway, here's where he comes in. He was a basketball/football player, really tall, and he was in my class. For some reason I really liked him, even though my friends said I shouldn't. The thing is, he's as dumb as they come (probably) so A. we aren't in the same classes and B. we couldn't relate even if we were in the same classes. Also, he makes fun of me, just like his friends from my school did and still do. He said that someone was going out with me, which was supposed to be an insult to that person. And he did this 'Whoa, whoa' thing that's also an insult for someone who's overly serious or smart. Of course, I'm a dummy and I still love him. This year I was so excited because we were finally in a class together. I like him so much I'd play flag football for him, even though he's in Health this term. He'd never even like me anyways. I'm as ugly as sh*t.

That's my sad tale of love. You're free to think I'm a moron after reading this.
 
:D
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My experiences with this subject are all focused on one sided infatuations and crushes. Advice to you guys: Just be upfront and tell the truth. Don't beat around the bush because it'll get worse.

Next thing you know, you're holed up and thinking "What if I'd said something to that person?". Take the risk.

Your mileage may vary
 
Turtles All The Way Down
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I've been in love two times and I got rejected two times.

The first time was with Manouk. Our parents have been friends since they were teens so when we were younger - between 4 and 8 years old - we would see each other often. Then my parents decided to do our job on a different track, so to speak, because we live on a ship here in the Netherlands, and she did as well.

When I was around twelve we met again at church on Christmas day. I fell deep in love with her, well at least of what I thought was true love, because now I think it was a crush. A real crush. We spoke to each other via e-mail, and Live Messenger. At one point I asked if she wanted a relationship with me. She thought a while about it, (I guess no good sign?) and said no. You see, on normal weekdays I live at a boarding school and I go home in the weekends. But I was in the common room when she said no, and I started to cry. Very hard. Seriously that was no fun. Everybody there tried to comfort me, but that only made me feel worse. She lingered for about 4 months after that in my mind, and then I got over her. We see each other from time to time, but then I move to another room, because I still feel awkward around her.

The second girl I got a crush on was Gera. It was at the start of the new school year when I was fourteen. (I don't know all the grades in english, so...) I developed feelings for her, but since Manouk I feel awkward around girls in general, at least the ones I like. I don't know what to say, when I say something, it doesn't come out as I wanted too, etc. Around a month before summer vacation, I wrote a poem to her, and pushed it under her locker. She initiatly thought it was a joke, so she didn't read it all the way through, but a few girls around her saw my name below it. So she knew I was in love with her. She first wanted to know me better, so we hung out a lot. Eventually, a week before summer vacation we went to the cinema to the Backup Plan. During the film she made a few signs, like she hesitated if she should lean on my shoulder with her head or not. Well at least we had a fun time. I was really happy when I got home because it was no real disaster. We still had contact in the summer vacation, and a week before the end of the summer vacation, I asked if I could come to her house. She said yes. It was a long ride (1,5 hours on the bicycle to it) but I felt it was worth it. We watched a movie at her place. I already got a strange feeling of awkwardness with her, because she was really quiet and almost didn't speak. At some point her parents left, and she turned to me and said rather harshly:

"Harold, I don't like you. You're kind and all, but I like older guys. At least 18 years old."

And then my heart broke. Almost literally. I could manage not to cry until I left, but this was even worse than before. What made it even worse was when I left the sun started to shine very brightly. Curse the damned irony.

I'm sixteen now, but my main point is, I don't know if I can still trust girls. I'm having a crush now, but Gera hasn't made things simpler for me. How can I trust women, and how can I love someone without having to take the risk to become hurt so badly, because I don't want that anymore. Reply please, because everyone here seems to be in love with someone.
 
Who is the fairest of them all?
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I've been in love two times and I got rejected two times.

The first time was with Manouk. Our parents have been friends since they were teens so when we were younger - between 4 and 8 years old - we would see each other often. Then my parents decided to do our job on a different track, so to speak, because we live on a ship here in the Netherlands, and she did as well.

When I was around twelve we met again at church on Christmas day. I fell deep in love with her, well at least of what I thought was true love, because now I think it was a crush. A real crush. We spoke to each other via e-mail, and Live Messenger. At one point I asked if she wanted a relationship with me. She thought a while about it, (I guess no good sign?) and said no. You see, on normal weekdays I live at a boarding school and I go home in the weekends. But I was in the common room when she said no, and I started to cry. Very hard. Seriously that was no fun. Everybody there tried to comfort me, but that only made me feel worse. She lingered for about 4 months after that in my mind, and then I got over her. We see each other from time to time, but then I move to another room, because I still feel awkward around her.

The second girl I got a crush on was Gera. It was at the start of the new school year when I was fourteen. (I don't know all the grades in english, so...) I developed feelings for her, but since Manouk I feel awkward around girls in general, at least the ones I like. I don't know what to say, when I say something, it doesn't come out as I wanted too, etc. Around a month before summer vacation, I wrote a poem to her, and pushed it under her locker. She initiatly thought it was a joke, so she didn't read it all the way through, but a few girls around her saw my name below it. So she knew I was in love with her. She first wanted to know me better, so we hung out a lot. Eventually, a week before summer vacation we went to the cinema to the Backup Plan. During the film she made a few signs, like she hesitated if she should lean on my shoulder with her head or not. Well at least we had a fun time. I was really happy when I got home because it was no real disaster. We still had contact in the summer vacation, and a week before the end of the summer vacation, I asked if I could come to her house. She said yes. It was a long ride (1,5 hours on the bicycle to it) but I felt it was worth it. We watched a movie at her place. I already got a strange feeling of awkwardness with her, because she was really quiet and almost didn't speak. At some point her parents left, and she turned to me and said rather harshly:

"Harold, I don't like you. You're kind and all, but I like older guys. At least 18 years old."

And then my heart broke. Almost literally. I could manage not to cry until I left, but this was even worse than before. What made it even worse was when I left the sun started to shine very brightly. Curse the damned irony.

I'm sixteen now, but my main point is, I don't know if I can still trust girls. I'm having a crush now, but Gera hasn't made things simpler for me. How can I trust women, and how can I love someone without having to take the risk to become hurt so badly, because I don't want that anymore. Reply please, because everyone here seems to be in love with someone.
I hate to hear that you've been rejected, and hurt. I know how that feels, but you shouldn't think that you can't trust all girls because of two rejections. I've been rejected more times than I can count, and I've dealt with two bad relationships(that didn't even last long). However, I kept looking. That lead to failure.

Maybe if you're trying to find a relationship, then you just need to stop and focus on other things. Because right when you least expect it, that one person will come along, and you'll fall head over heels for them. Even if you're afraid at first, you have to just bite the bullet and give it a try. You might have a few more rejections, or you might find your true love in the next girl. Rejections aren't the end of the world, even though it feels like it. It's just one person, and if they don't return your feelings, you can just say "Oh, well, she's not the one. I need to move on, and wait for my true love to come along." Because trust me, when you find the one person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, you'll know. Don't feel heartbroken. Things will work out in the end. :)
 
Turtles All The Way Down
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I hate to hear that you've been rejected, and hurt. I know how that feels, but you shouldn't think that you can't trust all girls because of two rejections. I've been rejected more times than I can count, and I've dealt with two bad relationships(that didn't even last long). However, I kept looking. That lead to failure.

Maybe if you're trying to find a relationship, then you just need to stop and focus on other things. Because right when you least expect it, that one person will come along, and you'll fall head over heels for them. Even if you're afraid at first, you have to just bite the bullet and give it a try. You might have a few more rejections, or you might find your true love in the next girl. Rejections aren't the end of the world, even though it feels like it. It's just one person, and if they don't return your feelings, you can just say "Oh, well, she's not the one. I need to move on, and wait for my true love to come along." Because trust me, when you find the one person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, you'll know. Don't feel heartbroken. Things will work out in the end. :)
Thanks. I hope I'll find her someday.
 
BURN ALL THE THINGS
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I met my Nat on an Ace Attorney forum during a game called Ace Attorney Idol (which was pretty awesome and I got to sing as Richard Wellington. jdfsfk).

We started doing slash RPs together over IMs, and got to be even closer. He told me he had a crush on me, so we kinda started 'dating' a little. As I got to know more about him, and he got to know more about me, we both fell pretty hard for each other. <3 I'm the hot-tempered crazy one and he's the voice of reason and the shy one. We balance each other completely, it's great. :D ....and we both like slash. Which is a plus of course. He's gotten me to calm down just a little, and I've gotten him to stand up for himself more. We've changed each other for the better. That's what he says. <3

Going on four years now. He's trying to get up enough money to come here, but its a LOT because he lives in Australia and he has no job because crippling social shyness. DX

Hopefully something good comes our way. :C He's the best thing to ever happen to me. Good thing I didn't pursue who I wanted to all those years ago.
 
New Member
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Official Love Advice Thread

I have not had a girlfriend yet. But I am thinking of someone I would like to have as a girlfriend. The problem is I am very nervous to talk to her. The problem is (please don't tell anyone) I have a mental illness called aspergers which makes me have social issues as I am afraid to talk to her. If anyone would like to help me be able to talk to her, as she doesn't even know me, I would love that.
Thanks.
 
Who is the fairest of them all?
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I have not had a girlfriend yet. But I am thinking of someone I would like to have as a girlfriend. The problem is I am very nervous to talk to her. The problem is (please don't tell anyone) I have a mental illness called aspergers which makes me have social issues as I am afraid to talk to her. If anyone would like to help me be able to talk to her, as she doesn't even know me, I would love that.
Thanks.
There's nothing wrong with having Asperger's. A big part of the Bulbagarden population has Asperger's Syndrome. Infact, we have a social group that is about Asperger's Syndrome.

Well, let me start by asking this...do you have any classes with this girl?? If you do, it might simplify things when it comes to talking to her. Like, maybe you could just go up to her and ask her a question about an assignment or about what was being taught in class that day. That way, you have something to start talking about.
 
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There's nothing wrong with having Asperger's. A big part of the Bulbagarden population has Asperger's Syndrome. Infact, we have a social group that is about Asperger's Syndrome.

Well, let me start by asking this...do you have any classes with this girl?? If you do, it might simplify things when it comes to talking to her. Like, maybe you could just go up to her and ask her a question about an assignment or about what was being taught in class that day. That way, you have something to start talking about.
Yes In fact I do have a class with her. But the problem is it is gym. Also I have two gym teachers in the gym but I do run every day and I see her. Also where is the social group. I would love to join.
 
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