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The Mis-Adventures of Alexander and Pollen (Derpy Dash & Magical Doughnut)

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Doctor Celebi

Aimless Traveler in Space and Time
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So far, so good. This Caterpie's buying everything I say. Now I have to make the deal. "I'll give you this Evolution Elixir for 100 poke. You can't find a deal like that anywhere else," I said with a sly smile. Suddenly, I heard a loud voice shouting, "YOU!" I turned, there was an irate Charmeleon glaring at me. I stared back in shock, I recognized him, he was a past 'customer' of mine. "THAT 'ELIXIR' YOU SOLD ME WAS JUST A BOTTLE OF WATER! I WANT A FULL REFUND!" This was bad, Pokemon were looking now, how could this get any worse? I just had to think about that. Out of nowhere, another client of mine, a Machoke, ran up to me. "YOU SOLD ME THAT FAKE ELIXIR TOO!" He shouted, almost making me go deaf. One by one, many Pokemon spoke up about encountering me in different ways. Soon, there was an angry mob. I knew that I had to cut my losses, and I ran away. I ran as fast as I could.

Soon, I was outside the city. I heard a voice yelling at me to never come back to that town. I wish I could say that this was the first time that I was ran out of town. Still, I kept running, just to be on the safe side. Suddenly, I tripped on something, and my face got well acquainted with the ground. I turned around, and saw an Abra lying there. I was slightly mad, so I yelled at full volume, "WHAT ARE YOU LYING ON THE GROUND FOR YOU IDIOT? SOME POKEMON ARE TRYING TO PASS THROUGH THIS AREA!" He didn't move. Okay, I was worried now. What should I do? Then, I got an idea. I walked over to him, and slapped him as hard as I could in the face a few times, while yelling, "WAKE UP!"
 
Hmm what a nice dream..... OW! Something hit me "What was that.... for...?" I was looking into the face of a Chikorita, that couldn't be right Pokemon don't exist, or do they? Oh well I can figure that out later but for now I feel that recompense is necessary so I slapped the stupid grin off of the runt, I felt the need to ask this rhetorically to the stupid little Pokemon "What is your name?", I nearly crapped myself when it responded with what I can only call human speech.
 
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The Abra slapped me. Hard. I admit, there may have been a tear in my eye. But I couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that had an effect on me, so I tried to act natural. Well, as natural as I could, considering that I wanted to beat the crap out of him for slapping me.

Out of nowhere, he asked my name. For some reason, I decided to give it to him. "It's Pollen," I quickly answered. "Now, I have questions, first of all, who are you? Secondly, why were you sleeping in the middle of the road like an idiot?" I took a step back. Why did I just imply that he was an idiot? Now he's probably going to slap me again.
 
I tried not to laugh when the munchkin called itself Pollen, but the little pipsqueak called me an idiot so I thought about slapping it again but I figured I shouldn't because it was crying so I figured I might as well answer, "My name is Alexander, I have no idea on why I was in the middle of the road, and I want to know why I can understand you, how did you learn to speak English?"
 
Okay, his name's Alexander. Seems normal enough. I continued to keep my distance though, for all I know, he could be crazy. How could he not remember that Pokemon are able understand each other? He must have taken a pretty big blow to the head, maybe he was mugged, and then his body was ditched in the middle of the road. That seems to be a good answer to my questions. I actually feel bad for him, I should try jogging his memory. "Well, all Pokemon can understand each other, and I learned to talk when my parents taught me to, back when I was two or three." I internally cringed when I mentioned my parents. I didn't want to think about them.
 
"Wow it took you that long to learn how to talk, you must have been a stupid baby..... wait did you just call me a Pokemon, I am a human, how could you think......" I then shrieked in the most unmanly way possible when I looked down but who can blame me I was an Abra.
 
Alexander shrieked. Loudly. Seriously, what is with all of the ear trauma that I'm going through today? First I get a Machoke yelling in my face, and now this. I'm seriously going to lose my ability to hear at this rate. I ignored the fact that he called me stupid, as I was more concerned about something else. What made him think that he was a human? Either he was crazy, or he got hit in the head, really hard.

"No, I can assure you, you're an Abra. You must have taken a huge hit to the head." Looking at him, he seemed to truly be lost in all of this. I got an idea, he could be of use to me. "Actually, I think I overheard one Pokemon brag about mugging somebody." That may have been you. I know where he went, we could go get revenge, if you want to that is." None of that was true, but he didn't need to know that. He could probably use Teleport, and that would help me in the long run.
 
Great we have a skeptic so I decided to reassure it "I can assure you that I am human I also seem to remember that Abras are stronger then Chikoritas, and my head feels fine but if someone did mug me I want revenge. Also I keep calling you an it, are you a boy or a girl, seriously with a stupid name like Pollen I can't tell" As much as I wanted to lose pipsqueak I did see some advantage to having a meat shield so it can't hurt to go with it.
 
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Okay, I'm starting to think that he's just crazy. Oh what have I gotten myself into. I know that it's pointless to fight with crazy, so I'll drop the whole 'Human' issue. I'm amazed that he actually bought the mugging thing though. "Alright than, time to go get revenge. Follow me." I started to go down a path that I know has some treasure locked up. Maybe I'll even pass by a few banks. His Teleport could be useful there. "Also, to make things clear, I'm a girl." I don't want to say it out loud, but I really can't argue back about my name, I actually agree with him.
 
Well apparently my Psychic powers come a lot easier then I thought. it is kind of like flexing a muscle and I can already levitate and pick stuff up with my powers. Note to self stop picking up Pollen she seems to respond violently to it but unfortunately for her she can't get close.

Well this is exciting, I get to follow one of my least favorite Grass-type starter to find someone who allegedly mugged me, it could be worse though, she could be hostile and I could be walking instead of floating, I felt like I could trust her though so I asked "Who tried to mug me?".
 
I swear, if he picks my up again, he will see a freak out the likes of which have never been seen. Well, he finally asked about who tried to mug him, it's good that I expected that to be asked. "It was a group of Murkrow, but I know where a few of their bases are. What do you say should we give them a taste of their own medicine?" I'm sure that there are not many Murkrow around here, but I think that it seemed reasonable enough to believe. I saw a small shed in the distance. That's my first stop. If I remember correctly, that shed belongs to some group of thieves. But they shouldn't be around at this point of day. I stopped, "That shed belongs to that group I mentioned, so, do you have any ideas on how to get that door open?" I decided that I shouldn't flat out tell him to use Teleport, that might give the impression that I planned this out.
 
I guess this is the time to test my power, I focused on the door and let a massive reserve of Psychic energy explode and I blew the door off the hinges and out through the other side, I felt proud of the destruction, when I looked over I saw a kind of shocked expression on Pollens face, I was kind of curious so I asked her "What powers do you have?"?
 
Okay... wow... just, wow. Give it a few seconds. Yep, there's an alarm going off now. Well, panic mode kicked in. He asked me a question, but we have to get out of here first. Though I was right in there being nobody there, I'm sure that somebody would be nearby. I yelled, "GRAB A BAG AND RUN!" I ran in, grabbed an empty bag, and put a couple bags of Poke in. I ran back out, yelling to Alexander, "I'LL ANSWER YOU IN A SECOND! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" I ran down the path in a random direction.

I've been running for a while, it should be safe now. I checked a few times to make sure Alexander was still there. Luckily, he was. I stopped, I need to catch my breath. "I can heal myself with using Synthesis. I also know Poison Powder, Tackle, and Razor Leaf. Also, WHY DID YOU BLAST THAT DOOR OFF ITS HINGES? WE DIDN'T NEED TO BE THAT OBVIOUS!"
 
"If you had psychic powers you would do it too and don't even try to deny it" I don't get why Pollen was complaining, I got us in safely.

Now that I stop to think about it I don't know why we robbed that place, "Why did we rob them? Even if they where the Murkrow I don't want their money, I want to injure them What really happened? I can assume I wasn't mugged especially with my psychic powers being this strong.
 
"Well, it was pretty cool." I muttered. I could see that I was starting to lose Alexander, I needed to think of something, quickly. "W-well, we robbed them because they robbed you. Eye for an eye. A-are you sure that we should have hurt them? It would be more ironic if we just robbed them in return." I decided to slowly step back, in case he didn't believe this anymore. I admit, I'm scared now. We possibly have a group of thieves after us, and I saw Alexander's power, what would he do to me if I ended up crossing a line?
 
I am seriously losing it with this Chikorita, I hate being lied to "I have a modified eye for an eye philosophy, mess with me and I will poke your eyes out, so in response to your question no it would not be more ironic it would just be a big let down, I am also pretty sure that you lied so to document this occasion I am handing out free concussions" So in a rage I picked Pollen up with my power and slammed her hard enough into a tree to snap it in half, I then realized that I might of killed her so I felt a little bad about it so I tried using my power to heal her, luckily I can do that.
 
Ow... Well, the pain is telling me that I'm still alive. But how? Was it Alexander? After all that happened, did he really heal me? I feel even worse for taking advantage of him now. I quickly healed my self, as much as I could, using Synthesis. I felt better, but it still hurt to do anything. I got up, and looked at the snapped tree. As a fellow plant, I felt bad for it. I admit, I probably deserved that throw, and Alexander looked like he felt some remorse about it. I was about to apologize, but right before I opened my mouth, I heard shuffling, all around us. We were surrounded. "Do you hear that?" I asked, growing more and more concerned.
 
I heard the noise that Pollen was talking about so I decided the best course of action would be to try to create some sort of a light source to see them, unfortunately I didn't know how so I released a burst of energy and shot it at where the noise was coming from I heard a scream of pain that sounded like a noise a cat would make, I immediately blasted again and again until I struck another, by that time I have used up enough energy to feel some fatigue fortunately I can heal myself, pretty soon the enemy surrounded us, it was just some Meowths.
 
Of course this has to happen after I get blasted through a tree. I feel weak, but I need to help. I saw a bush nearby move slightly. I aimed at it, and I used Razor Leaf. I heard a cry of pain, and saw another Meowth fall out of it. One Meowth down. Out of nowhere, I felt a stinging pain, a Meowth scratched me while I was busy with his friend. I tackled him, and shot him in the face with another Razor Leaf. Okay, two down. Still, I was starting to feel dizzy from the pain. I need to use Synthesis again, but I can't get the chance, not with the battle going on around me. I will need help if I want to get out of here alive. I yelled to Alexander, "CAN YOU COVER ME FOR A SECOND?" I really hope that he will help me with this.
 
I heard Pollens shout, that really made me mad because I hurt her severely the first time and now these vultures where hopping in to take us down. So I unleashed the biggest amount of energy that I had released before and it turned into a massive blade of psychic energy that launched strait at a group of Meowths and sent them flying backwards, I was kind of relieved that it didn't go straight through, even though they are disgusting parasites they don't deserve the mercy of being killed.
 
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