EVERYONE: The Rocket Files

[columboisreal]

What do you get when you take the Poke-world's biggest crime boss, his edgy "it's not a phase" son, a fumbly and disheveled detective, and the sweetest ray of sunshine in Kalos, and put them under the same roof? Well, you get whatever this is. And who knows what this is?

 

[columboisreal]

“So this is the evidence we have on this case,” Looker said, spreading out all the little photographs, newspaper clippings, and other nicknacks on his desk. Giovanni scanned them briefly and then shrugged.

“Obviously it was the Delcatty BurGalar,” Giovanni said, taking another handful of chips out of the bag he was cradling like a newborn baby and dropping them into his mouth. Most of the chips ended up on Looker’s floor, which he had just cleaned. “I mean, he’s the only guy who ever breaks windows and locks. I’m telling you, he’s so extra. Do you know how streamlined Team Rocket robberies are? I shouldn’t tell you, that’s a trade secret.”

“This is why I always ask you,” Looker said, trying to ignore the mess Giovanni was making of his floors. He just took Giovanni’s word as truth and wrote down the Delcatty BurGalar. “Do you know his real identity?”

“You’ll never believe it,” Giovanni said with his mouth full, “Kabu.”

Looker was incredibly surprised.

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope.”

Their little “investigating” (if it could even be called that, I mean, that would be like saying cheating is the same thing as taking a test honestly) was interrupted by Emma coming in carrying a Furfrou puppy.

“Can I keep him?” she asked, cuddling the little puppy. “Please!”

“But you already have an Espurr!” Looker reminded her.

Emma pouted and then turned to Giovanni with an innocent smile.

“Pretty please?” she asked him.

“Aw, well, you’d have to ask your father,” Giovanni said, turning to Looker. “But it’s fine by me!”

“Of course it’s fine by you, Mr. I’m-the-fun-parent.” Looker rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just remember to feed him and take him for walks and-”

“Can I get him a haircut?” Emma asked.

“Those things are expensive, Emma!” Looker reminded her.

“If that’s the only hang up,” Giovanni said, tossing an arm around Looker and Emma’s shoulders. “There’s nothing a little good-old-fashioned laundered money can’t fix!”

“Yay!” Emma cheered before Looker could argue.

“Alright,” Looker said, which he shouldn’t have said, because he worked for the police, and laundering money is sort of something called a “crime”, which is sort of something that police are supposed to be against. But he seemed to be more in favor of having a fun time with his family as opposed to obeying the law, so whatever.

“Oh! I’ll call Silver!” Giovanni decided. He ran over to Looker’s phone and dialed his son.

“Hello?” Silver said when he answered the phone.

“Hi, son!” Giovanni said. “It’s dad.”

“Ugh,” Silver scoffed. “Not you again. Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?”

“Oh, I know,” Giovanni said, “but I thought maybe you’d like to come down with me, Looker, and Emma, and maybe go-”

“Forget it! I don’t want to talk to your stupid boyfriend and his stupid daughter!” Silver shouted. “And I do not want to talk to you either! Ever again!”

“Well, I okay, son, I love-”

Silver hung up.

“-you.”

Giovanni walked back to Looker and Emma.

“How was it?” Looker asked, even though he knew how it went. Giovanni forced a smiled and shrugged.

“Oh well,” Giovanni laughed. “You know how teenagers can be sometimes. They want their independence. Here, let’s go have some fun with our new little pup!”

“Okay!” Emma smiled, completely oblivious. Looker was a little concerned though, but wasn’t going to address it right now. Now wasn’t the time. Now was time to take his daughter out to get her new puppy a haircut. And so that’s what they did.

 

[Welkamo]

Yes good more Giovanni/Looker content. This is a very good thing.

I see you're hinting at something going on with Silver. What could it be? Emma is a pure bean that must be protected at all costs. And of course, Giovanni and Looker casually doing crimes is #couplesgoals.

Though I must ask: will the other Rocketeers appear?

 

[columboisreal]

Yes good more Giovanni/Looker content. This is a very good thing.

I see you're hinting at something going on with Silver. What could it be? Emma is a pure bean that must be protected at all costs. And of course, Giovanni and Looker casually doing crimes is #couplesgoals.

Though I must ask: will the other Rocketeers appear?

Haha, glad to see you're enjoying!
Yes... Silver will be addressed... and as for the other members of Team Rocket, they're bound to make appearances! After all, Giovanni can't trust those grunts to do things the right way on their own, haha...

 

[columboisreal]

Silver was brooding over something in his expensive Lumiose City apartment. Who even knows what it was that he was brooding over.

Emma sure didn’t. She burst into his nice swanky apartment.

“Woah! Sick pad, ‘big bro’,” Emma remarked, doing the little airquotes thing with her hands. “Since, you know, we’re kind of like siblings in a weird way, because my dad, well, adopted dad, is in love with your real dad and-”

“STOP talking about my dad!” Silver snapped.

“Why?” Emma asked. “I was hardly talking about him, I just said he’s in love with my dad, that’s all, anyway, I don’t know why you don’t like him, he bought you this nice apartment and all your-”

“I said, stop.” Silver practically spat the words at her. She was completely unfazed. People were typically quite intimidated by Silver.

“Okay, we can talk about something else instead.” Emma shrugged, walking past him into his kitchen, her puppy prancing behind her. “Like the fact that you have no chocolate chip cookies in this kitchen of yours, and the fact that I just so happen to be a really great chef!”

“If you touch so much as one spoon in there-”

“Have you ever eaten cookies with spoons? I didn’t think so.”

Much to Silver’s displeasure, it seemed like Emma wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. And neither would her puppy, who had yet to be house trained. Oh brother.

“YOU INSOLENT CREATURE!”

“Silver!” Emma exclaimed, rushing to the side of her little puppy to comfort him, as he had been hurt by Silver’s cruel words. “How can you say such a thing!”

“HE PEED ON MY COUCH!”

“It’s an ugly couch, anyway!” Emma argued. “Besides, the poor little puppy dog doesn’t know any better!”

“Do you even have a name for that stupid brat?” Silver asked, bending down to clean up the pee on his couch.

“I’m thinking maybe Elliot, or maybe Digby,” Emma pondered, cuddling up to her puppy, who was unfazed by this whole situation, just panting happily on Emma’s lap.

“Digby is a disgusting name,” Silver remarked.

“Digby it is!” Emma decided. “Welcome to the family, Digby! I’m your big sister Emma, and this is your big brother Silver!”

“I’m not your-”

Emma and Digby were having none of this, however. Emma was actually already drawing a family portrait, including Silver as her and Digby's brother.

"-fine."

Hours later, Looker had begun to worry about where Emma went. She never was gone for so long. She didn’t really have any friends who she would be hanging out with. She was a bit of an outcast among the Lumiose City kids. So what had happened?

Suddenly, the phone rang.

“Hello?” Looker said, nervously. He worried that maybe it was someone calling to tell him something had happened to Emma.

“Is this Mr. Looker?” Silver, who was on the other end, asked.

“Yes, what’s the matter?”

“Just wanted to call so you wouldn’t worry. Your kid and her dog fell asleep on my couch. I guess they’re sleeping over because it’s, like, midnight, but whatever. Just don’t worry about her, alright? Bye.”

 

[Welkamo]

Silver was brooding over something in his expensive Lumiose City apartment. Who even knows what it was that he was brooding over.

BROODING BOY

She burst into his nice, swanky apartment.

“STOP talking about my dad!” Silver snapped.

“Why?” Emma asked. “I was hardly talking about him, I just said he’s in love with my dad, that’s all, anyway, I don’t know why you don’t like him, he bought you this nice apartment and all your-”

This is such a good trope omgggg
Silver: Stop talking about my dad!
Emma: But I wasn't! (Proceeds to talk about his dad)

Emma shrugged and past him into his kitchen, her puppy prancing behind her.

“Have you ever eaten cookies with spoons? I didn’t think so.”

I think I should try this actually. Sounds like a good idea.

“I’m thinking maybe Elliot, or maybe Digby,” Emma pondered, cuddling up to her puppy, who was unfazed by this whole situation, just panting happily on Emma’s lap.

Good names, Emma
Kind of seems a bit odd to say her puppy is unfazed when he was hurt by Silver's cruel words earlier. Maaaaaybe it would be good to add in a little thing about his mood shift?

“Just wanted to call so you wouldn’t worry. Your kid and her dog fell asleep on my couch. I guess they’re sleeping over because it’s, like, midnight, but whatever. Just don’t worry about her, alright? Bye.”

Awwwwwwwww I think he likes them.

I can not wait for Silver to meet his dad and reunite with his other dad. This will be very good.

 

[columboisreal]

BROODING BOY



This is such a good trope omgggg
Silver: Stop talking about my dad!
Emma: But I wasn't! (Proceeds to talk about his dad)



I think I should try this actually. Sounds like a good idea.

Good names, Emma
Kind of seems a bit odd to say her puppy is unfazed when he was hurt by Silver's cruel words earlier. Maaaaaybe it would be good to add in a little thing about his mood shift?

Awwwwwwwww I think he likes them.

I can not wait for Silver to meet his dad and reunite with his other dad. This will be very good.

Thank you very much for the review Torchic! Your reviews always give me so much motivation to write. I can't wait to show you the next episode!

 

[columboisreal]

Looker was a man of simple wants. All he wanted was an omelet. Just one. That was all.

“We’re out of eggs,” Looker sleepily remarked to Giovanni at the breakfast table.

He had no idea saying this might start a gang war.

But nevertheless:

“Leave it to me,” Giovanni said, adjusting the lapels of his suit as he got ready to go in for another day of crime at the office.

Looker rolled his eyes tiredly. He felt like everytime Giovanni said that, things didn’t turn out well.

“Alright,” Looker said, considering going back to bed and calling in sick to his boss or something, or maybe just going to work and taking a nap. Who would care if crime ran rampant on the street for the next 5 hours?

Giovanni departed on his mission of delivering his detective some eggs. Of course, he did this not by going to the supermarket like a regular person might, but instead by going to the Team Rocket Kalos Headquarters, the TRKH, or, as Giovanni affectionately called it, ‘You know, that base of ours, you know the one’*.

*Team Rocket has several bases, this isn’t a good name

He entered the building, got in the elevator, got off on the top floor, took out a soda from his mini bar, shook it violently, aimed it out the window, dumped the contents on the passersbys below, and turned on some relaxing smooth jazz.

“Archer,” Giovanni said into his little intercom thing on his desk once he was all seated and everything. “My office. Immediately.”

“Is everything alright, sir?”

“Get down here.”

“Should I abandon the current-”

“You’ve used up your one question of the day, Archer. Get down here.”

“Y-yes sir.”

Within a few seconds, the sound of boots running down the hallways could be heard, and Archer appeared in Giovanni’s doorway.

“Yes, sir.” Archer was careful not to ask a question, like ‘you wanted to see me, sir?’, since he had already used up his one question, and he didn’t want to risk any violation consequences.

“I need you to embark on one of the most important missions you have ever carried out,” Giovanni said as he rose from his chair and paced about the room, “one of the most important things I will ever ask you to do. This isn’t a task for an ordinary man. I would only ask my most trusted of men to do such a task. Do you think you can take it on?”

“Y-yes, sir!” Archer said enthusiastically. He dialed it back: “Um, uh, yes, of course sir. I’m prepared to do whatever is asked of me.”

“Good. Now go to the closest supermarket and get me some Chancey Eggs.”

Archer blinked.

And then it dawned on him.

A test. How brilliant! Clearly this was a test of his abilities. Clearly Giovanni was testing his commitment. Oh, how he would amaze Giovanni!

“Right away, sir.”

Archer disappeared.

Giovanni took a little nap under his desk, curled up into a little ball without a care in the world, just imagining how happy Looker would be once he brought him the eggs for his omelet.

“Sir!”

Giovanni jumped up.

“W-whuh, huh? Huh? Who? Where is it? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Prepared for anything. Archer admired that about his boss. He was always prepared for anything.

“I have completed the task, sir,” Archer said, holding out a carton of Chancey Eggs. “I broke into Team Flare’s lair, took all the grunts in sight as hostages, and extracted the coveted prize from their lackluster break room fridge, which pales in comparison to the one you have provided our team with, sir.”

Giovanni blinked. Then he blinked again. And once more.

“Yeah, uh,” Giovanni started, “Here’s the thing- I never told you to do any of that.”

Archer chuckled.

“You didn’t have to!” Archer assured him. “I knew what you needed me to do. So it is done.”

Before Giovanni could take the eggs, which had a little white bow affixed to the top, the door was burned down.

“GIOVANNI!”


~.~


“Psst. Looker. Sweetie. Darling. Lovely Looker. Lovely Looker, meter maid.”

Giovanni, who smelled like a warm, welcoming campfire, was whispering right above Looker’s head. Looker had been trying to think of what to tell his boss all morning, and then just decided to say nothing and gaslight him later and say that he was in his office.

“Oh, hi,” Looker yawned. “Nice to see you, Vanni.”

“I made you an omelet.”

“Oh, Vanni!” Looker smiled, “You’re so sweet! That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me!”

“Always happy to make you happy.”

The two walked downstairs, Giovanni in a slightly burnt Paldea suit, and Looker in a tank top that said “LET ME SNORLAX”, paired with large Pikachu patterned pajama pants and Scorbunny slippers.

Downstairs at the kitchen table was Lysandre, posh as ever, sipping some tea and enjoying his own omelet.

Looker screamed.

“Yeah,” Giovanni sighed. “That’s the catch. I owe him an omelet or else a gang war breaks out.”

“Hello, dear Looker.” Lysandre smirked. “What a fine ensemble you’ve chosen for yourself. And Giovanni makes the most scrumptious omelets. Maybe I’ll spare him a little longer.”

 

[Welkamo]

Somehow this is one of the most accurate depictions of Archer I've seen in a hot minute.

Adding another sentence: Looker knows what's up. Chansey eggs are great. Like, in universe, they can like heal you physically and mentally. I love Chansey eggs. Okay that is all.

 

[columboisreal]

Somehow this is one of the most accurate depictions of Archer I've seen in a hot minute.

Adding another sentence: Looker knows what's up. Chansey eggs are great. Like, in universe, they can like heal you physically and mentally. I love Chansey eggs. Okay that is all.

That's good because I know next to nothing about Archer

Glad to hear you're enjoying the series Sorry I haven't updated it in a bit, and thank you for beta reading it!
Also yes... let's hope that maybe they can heal Giovanni and Lysandre's alliance...

 

[DRX.maliant]

I don't know how much I can make this a review without ruining the mood, because as someone who hasn't had as much exposure to anything Pokemon related as one might seem, I haven't heard of content with Looker and Giovanni depicted this way. Also Giovanni being extremely out of character (I think, I only know what I think his character is based on Adventures) really just cements it all, with Looker being "whiskey tango foxtrot" every single time the former even utters a word (thats using military lingo for what the fk. tbh i feel like its smth looker would say).

Also the interactions between Silver and Emma are just top notch. That's it. That's all I have to say about that.

 

[columboisreal]

I don't know how much I can make this a review without ruining the mood, because as someone who hasn't had as much exposure to anything Pokemon related as one might seem, I haven't heard of content with Looker and Giovanni depicted this way. Also Giovanni being extremely out of character (I think, I only know what I think his character is based on Adventures) really just cements it all, with Looker being "whiskey tango foxtrot" every single time the former even utters a word (thats using military lingo for what the fk. tbh i feel like its smth looker would say).

Also the interactions between Silver and Emma are just top notch. That's it. That's all I have to say about that.

Thank you very much! I don't know much about Giovanni in Adventures, I've watched bits of the anime and he seems to have a few silly moments, but I like turning that up to 100, it makes for some pretty fun interactions...
Also, I would say my Looker and Giovanni reactions aren't really based too much in canon, it's kind of just something I started as a joke that I ended up having fun with (Giovanni and Looker are just two of my favorite characters, lol), but nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoy! Thanks for reading!