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TheCapsFan Clocks Out

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Murphy, Edward
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TheCapsFan sat impatiently at the conference table. Maniacal Engineer was late...again. As a regular moderator, his frequent tardiness had been bad enough, but now, as a Super Moderator and Section Head it was inexcusable and completely unprofessional.
Day in and day out, the ever punctual Caps showed up to the morning meetings on time. On a good day, ME was only a few minutes late, but, lately, the Section Head would show up almost an hour late. The punctual mod checked his watch for the fifteenth time in as many minutes. ME was running later than usual today, and that was saying something. The other moderators, having gotten used to their Section Head's lackadaisical attitude toward being on time, had only filed in a few minutes earlier, having had a nice relaxing morning and enough time to tote along proper breakfasts.
Caps, meanwhile, had woken up early and rushed to get himself out the door. His stomach grumbled enviously as he observed the others leisurely eating their meals. Zexy took pity on his friend and offered him a yogurt, which Caps graciously accepted and devoured ravenously.
Finally, the Section Head arrived. His hair was mussed up, his briefcase had random papers sticking out of it, and he hadn't shaved that morning. Without even apologizing for his tardiness or his appearance, or even offering a simple explanation, ME jumped straight to business.
"It has come to my attention that various vandals have been sticking chewing gum onto the RM Fountain," he said, pulling out a disorganized sheaf of papers from his briefcase and attempting to straighten it out on the table.
That was the last straw.
"I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF, WASTING MY TIME, AND THEN, WHEN YOU DO FINALLY SHOW UP, YOU TALK ABOUT CHEWING GUM ON FOUNTAINS?!" Caps exploded, standing in a fit of rage.
Undaunted, the Super Moderator looked up from his notes at his insubordinate subordinate.
"Perhaps there is more than chewing gum at play here," he said, "there could be something far more sinister lurking around just underneath the surface. Certainly worth checking out in my opinion."
"And perhaps you're just a delusional, paranoid old man," shouted Caps, his fists clenching in anger, "you're not fit to be the Section Head of F&G or TWR!"

Zexy and Scarlet Sky shot warning looks at their fellow F&G staff member, and Zexy even attempted to sit Caps down by grabbing his arm and tugging it downward.
"Watch yourself, Caps," he whispered quietly, sparing a glance at his boss, whose face remained completely impassive.
Caps shrugged off Zexy's grasp and banged his fist on the table.
"No," he exclaimed, "I'm tired of kowtowing to that lazy buffoon. I quit!"
Caps banged his mod badge onto the table and gathered up his notebook and pens. He exited the conference room in a huff, slamming the door behind him. In the silence that followed, the remaining F&G staff members could hear him thunking about in his office, clearing out his desk and belongings.
At last, when the noise had died down, and the sound of Caps stomping down the hallway and out the front door had receded, Zexy and Sky dared to look back at their boss.
Maniacal Engineer looked a little confused. He looked at his watch, then the clock in the room, and back at his watch. Finally, he pulled out his cellphone and checked the time. He facepalmed.
"Hmmmm," he said, "I forgot to reset my watch when Daylight Savings Time ended."
Zexy and Sky joined their boss in facepalming.
"Well that was unfortunate," said the Super Moderator, sheepishly.
"You're not kidding," added Sky, "with Caps gone and Enzap promoted, that leaves only three of us to moderate both Fun and Games and The War Room. This could be problematic."
"It most certainly could have been," said Maniacal Engineer smugly, "if I hadn't already been working on this exact problem ever since Enzap was promoted."
There was a tentative knock at the conference room door.
Sky and Zexy glanced at each other. Could Caps have regretted his decision and come back so soon?
"Enter," said ME, looking completely unsurprised.
The door opened, and four figures stepped in.
"Gentlemen," said Maniacal Engineer to Sky and Zexy, "meet our new assistants."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In all seriousness, TheCapsFan has decided to step down as a moderator, though it was under far more civil terms than the ones I invented above.
Caps will be going on to pursue his degree in statistics, as a result, his time on the forums was limited.

I've already made two other similar announcements detailing some of Caps's accomplishments as a mod, but I shall do so again here, because he deserves nothing less.
Caps and I were promoted together as a result of the 2016 Staff Drive, even before that drive, Caps had shown excellent initiative and leadership skills in The War Room, where he helped to organize the very first official War Room Queue. Following his promotion, Caps continued to be a major benefit to the section, and has helped out behind the scenes for many games, including Holiday 2016 Mafia, The War Room Awards, as well as brainstorming some of the event ideas for Fun and Games and being instrumental in getting the current record in the staff counting thread. He even drafted and posted the OP for Random Messages 14, which is something most Fun and Games staff members dream of doing.

Caps is a good friend, and it was my pleasure to work with him for the betterment of this section. Please join me in wishing him well, and thanking him for the time and effort he has invested in this section.

@TheCapsFan, good luck in your quest to become a statistician. May the odds ever be in your favor!

 
The Paragon of Torna
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Thank you for all the work you've done Caps. You've been a moderator since I've been in this section, so it's sad to see you leave. Good luck in your endeavours and hopefully we'll still see you around.
 
has found the exotic boba drink cache.
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Best of wishes to Caps and hope that your statistics skills you're going to get will be an asset to whatever team you're in for future Mafia Games!

And so come back once in a while for a game or two when you go on breaks!
 
Head of Engineering
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Thank you Caps! You are the reason I am here, so I am sad to see you go. I wish you good fortune and sleepless nights partying pursuing your degree!
 
Head of Engineering
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Really? How so?
He joined a few games over in the PokeCommunity mafia section, my home forum. Then when the 2016 Mafia Championships rolled around and PokeCommunity got its first invite, he talked about Zexy (who was in the same game) and I checked out the War Room here for the first time.

By the way. this account was made way back in 2009 but I did absolutely nothing with it until last year :p
 
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