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Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengeance (Chapter Five/Guillotine's interview)

Marcat

Just Marcat
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Credit to Blazaking EX for the banner.

Here's the sequel! I spent a lot of time planning it out and trying to fix the flaws of Book 1. It's set 3 years in the future and introduces a new character and a side plot. The personalities will be different, etc.
Here's a short prologue, the chapters are much longer, the first one is a few days hopefully. Enjoy!

Prologue

Thabet Zatreh was never one to be overly punctual, but he was rushing at the meeting place with an unpresented urgency. He glanced at his wristwatch anxiously, hoping that time might spontaneously leap forward and hour or two in a mystical feat of time warp. Sadly, Thabet wasn’t Dialga and therefore he couldn’t make time fly, though he considered throwing a clock outside a window just to be sure.

Thabet was dressed like any trainer you might encounter; he wore a brown sweatshirt over a pair of rugged blue jeans. His brown hair was naturally cropped short and a brown backpack was slung along his shoulders. Fading grass and mud stains on his shoes and jeans were a sign of his long travels and it was obvious from the limp in his walk that he injured himself not long ago.

He waited restlessly at the base of the mountain wondering how to burn time when his prayers were answered.

“Hey you, come here, I want to battle!” A teenage boy called, he was a weird kid to say the least, dressed in blue shorts and a white shirt while a blue baseball cap rested on his head.

“Alright, I got time.” Thabet replied.

“Cool, now go Haunter!” The young boy called, throwing a pokeball in the air. The sphere promptly exploded releasing purple ghost pokemon with a jagged mouth and eerie floating hands.

“Go Vulpix!” Thabet called, throwing another pokeball, releasing small red fox-like pokemon with multiple tails. Its eyes shown red and there strangely hypnotic almost seeming to trap you. The fur on its head curled neatly, giving a sort of girlish look, and while it had it looked like a fragile pokemon it had the air of menace.

“Haunter, Night shade!” The boy ordered to his pokemon which responded by firing a dark ray of aura at the little fox. But the ray never made contact; the fox had already disappeared.

“Use Extrasensory, Vulpix.” Thabet ordered calmly. Vulpix’s eyes glowed red and it released a powerful surge of energy the enveloped the ghost and weakened it. The haunter grunted weakly under the onslaught as it fought to stay conscious.

“Now light him up,” He said, and with that the small pokemon opened its jaws and breathed forth a roar of heat and flame that shrouded the ghost and hid it from view. The spectral pokemon disappeared behind a cloak of heat and a halo of red and orange flame.

A minute passed and the surrounding air was beginning to heat up. The oxygen almost seemed like it was being burnt out.

“Enough! You’ve won already!” The boy pleaded, the flames had gone on for a minute and the weak cries of the Haunter were no longer heard.

“That’s enough Vulpix,” Thabet began, “Vulpix…, I said enough.” But the pokemon didn’t respond, it kept up the power of the flame, its eyes shining a dark bloody red. The Vulpix’s fur bristled and its tails began to glow harshly, it seemed like the pokemon was going to burst into flames, too.

“NO! Stop, please!” the teen yelled in protest; the sight was unbearable. Murder was happening right in front of him and the victim was his own pokemon.

“Vulpix! Stop now!” Thabet ordered angrily, he was losing his cool, underneath his superiority he was panicking, all this training and hard work only to have failed. He couldn’t tame the killing instinct in his pokemon. “Vulpix! NO!” He shouted. Running forward, he tackled the little fox pokemon, the force of the impact ended the cremation and dazed the fox. Thabet quickly pulled out a pokeball and returned it before it focused. The Haunter was lying on the ground unconscious; its body was covered in blistering burns that were beginning to swell up.

The boy ran over to the body of his pokemon, inspected it and returned it into his pokeball. He turned and stared at Thabet in pure horror and hatred.

“What kind of pokemon is that?!” He asked, before running of in dismay.

Thabet watched the boy run off before he looked at the pokeball holding the Vulpix, he had asked the same question many times before. Three years had passed since he had first received the Vulpix and after all this time… all this training, his conclusion was…

“I honestly don’t know,” Thabet whispered before putting the Pokeball away.

Thabet had come to the Kanto region for a reason; he got a message from Vulpix’s former owner… he had meeting to get to.
 
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Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

Hooray! The sequel is here!

I'm guessing the Vulpix is the one given to him by Guillotine (well, it's obvious) and it hasn't forgotten what Guillotine trained him to be. I hope one of the main features of this story is how the Vulpix becomes loyal to Thabet (or not, depending on how you feel).

Also, I can't wait to see what Guillotine has to say!
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

Well, Vulpix is probably Guillotine's pokemon, but I'm interested in how he will chaneg over the course of the story! Can't wait to see how the sequel shapes up!!!
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

There were a few spelling errors, and several grammar errors, but overall a good job of setting up the main plot.

For example:

“NO! Stop, please!” The teen yelled in protest, the sight was unbearable.

Should be:

"NO! Stop, please!" the teen yelled in protest. The sight was unbearable.

OR:

"No! Stop, please!" the teen yelled in protest; the sight was unbearable.

"The sight was unbearable" is a complete though on its own, and therefore, should be separated from "the teen yelled in protest" by a semi-colon or a full stop, not a comma. At the same time, "the teen" is not a proper noun, nor is it at the beginning of the sentence, despite being a complete thought out of context. In this context, it is attached to "No! Stop, please!", so it is not a complete thought. Only names are capitalized after quotations, unless the quotation ends in a period.

For example:

"It's gonna rust," Ironhide grunted.

OR:

"It's gonna rust," he grunted.

But that's enough grammar-Nazi for today.
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

... You posted the sequel, but you didn't tell me!? Gah!

Just kidding! xD

I see... The Vulpix was the one Guillotine gave Thabet... Hmm... It shall be interesting to see what the Vulpix will end up doing; either, being loyal to Thabet, or still ignoring his commands.

Oh yes, there were grammatical issues like Lugion said as well as little flaws here and there, for example:
"Vulpix’s eyes glowed red and it released a powerful surge of energy the enveloped the ghost and weakened it."
When you say "the", I think you mean "that", right? xD Just pointing that out.
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

Thanks for reading guys!
Yeah, I'll fix those grammar errors... My bad. Thanks for pointing 'em out.
Like I said the story was planned out and given another plot.
 
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Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

*sigh* I have nothing to say, I'm just posting to subscribe...

I hope the actual first chapter is up soon.</tsundere>
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Book 2)

Chapter One: A kid who doesn’t trust Pokémon

“Wake up Johanna, breakfast is ready!” A vague voice called from downstairs.

I groaned loudly and pushed myself up, half awake, half asleep, I shuffled to my bathroom to wash up. I was still pretty sleepy when I got there and it took a crash into a wall to wake me up entirely. I was brushing my teeth when I heard a soft purr greeting me; it was my Eevee.

“Hey Paul,” I answered in a morning voice.

“Johanna, hurry up, it’ll get cold!” My mom called again.

“Alright!” I answered, while hurriedly putting on a pair of fading blue jeans and my favorite white shirt. I glanced quickly at the mirror to make sure that I looked presentable. I was never much of an athlete but my mother would say I had an athletic build. My long black hair flowed down to my shoulders and my large brown eyes still had bags large enough to put the grocery in.

I climbed down the stairs with Paul at my heels to savor the glory that is our breakfast, eggs, sausages and toast with a little milk to help it down. My mom was already sitting at the table sipping a cup of tea, she was women in her late thirties with the same long black hair and brown eyes as mine, and however hers were fiercer and more mature. She looked up from behind the cup of tea at me. I sat down across her and helped myself to a little eggs and toast when she cleared her throat.

“Johanna, we have something to talk about,” She began quietly. “Maybe it’s time you left the house and gone on your journey already,” My mom said.

I paused just before I was going to bite down on a piece of toast; I laid the bread down and stared at her.

“But mom… you know I don’t want to,” I pleaded. Paul growled softly in agreement, he knew what I meant… they both did. Two years ago, it was time for Pallet Town’s trainers to leave, my time to leave, I refused. I didn’t want to go, I never wanted to be a “Pokemon Master” that’s nothing I aspired to become.

I never felt comfortable around pokemon, they seem so dangerous. Everyone and their mother claims that pokemon are cool and harmless and that they can be our friends, but I don’t consider a raging monster that’s capable of ripping my head off or able to blow me up, my friend. I used to watch Pokemon battles on TV, I would watch a dragon spew flames hot enough to melt boulders and giant leviathans of the sea crush its foes in its fury. While some see this as exciting, I was horrified; I stopped watching battles after that.

After I told that to my “friends”, they considered me weird and mostly stupid after that. My only friend was Paul, and although he was a pokemon, he seemed harmless and we got along pretty well, though I still call him Paul to make him sound human.

My mother didn’t understand me, during the last two years following the incident; my mom would try to convince me to leave and go on an adventure, saying that boys and girls my age would give their right arm to leave home.

“Why can’t you be like your brother?” My mother would plead, pointing at the portrait of him over the fireplace. My brother’s portrait hung over the fireplace, lit by the fire; it depicted him standing proudly in front of his team of Pokemon.

Mom always favored Markus over me, she never called it that, but it was obvious from the way she talks about him or the way her voice becomes feverish when the subject strays to him.

Markus had already collected six badges and had come back home to check up on us. He was always nice to me and he was the one who gave me Paul, but I could never get over how mother always favored him.

It’s a sibling thing, I guess.

“Jojo, you can’t keep staying at home like this,” My mother protest sadly.

“Why, why can’t I? Are you sick of me, is that it? Look, I’m sorry I can’t be like Markus, but there is more to life than training pokemon!” I retorted before grabbing Paul and storming to my room.

I sat down beside my bed and began to cry, nobody understood me. Nobody knew how it felt to be considered different, to go against the flow of an entire nation.

Paul noticed my tears and trudged up to me; he curled up in my lap and laid his head on my knee. His ears flicked slightly as he closed his eyes, it was his way of comforting me. Even though he was a pokemon, he acted more human than many I know. I stroked his brown fur absentmindedly as I contemplated what was to become of me. I laid my head on my pillow and forced myself to sleep.

A light rap on my bedroom door woke me up from my slumber, it was my mother. She stood shadowed by the door frame, a grim look was on her face and her mouth was a tight straight line.

“Jojo, come downstairs,” She said in a firm voice. My mother a tough cookie to say the least, she was firm, strict and unyielding, but like every cookie, they was sweetness to be found under the hard exterior.

I pulled myself up from my bed and followed her to the living room. I arrived to find my mom standing in front of the fireplace with her hands at her hips. Amongst the modern looking furniture that filled the room, I noticed a bag on the sofa. It was a large white bag that looked like a cross between a hand bag and a duffel bag. Looking at the bag and the look on my mother’s face, I understood exactly what she was planning.

She was kicking me out of the house.

“Mom what are you-, “I began in a cautious voice.
“Johanna, its time you left the house,” My mom said in a low emotionless voice.

“Are -are getting rid of me?” I said in disbelief; my own mother was kicking me out.

“I’m sorry honey- I really am-, but this is for your own good,” She muttered, sadness was creeping in her voice, sufficing it.

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t want to leave! Being a trainer is something I don’t want!” I replied angrily. Why can’t she understand, why can’t she see that I don’t want to be a “Master”?

“This is final. You leave today.” My mother said grimly. There was a decisive look in her eyes, as if she had decided and would not back down.

Seeing this, I realized that my urges were futile and whatever I would say would go in one ear and out the other. My shoulders slumped in defeat, I bowed my head and I trudged over to pick up my bag and my blue jacket which I put on silently. I tried not to glare at her, but this was difficult for me, I was leaving in hopes of becoming something of no value to me. My mother took a few steps towards me and outstretched her arms to embrace. I stepped back letting my mother hug thin air, she’s kicking me out of the house and she wants me to be happy about it?

“I’m sorry mom, but I’m in no mood for sappy moments,” I muttered.

A hurt expression crossed her face, she bit her lip. “Okay, take care. Though this might seem cruel, remember that I love you.” She said quietly.

I walked to the door and left without a word. I stepped outside to savor the warm sunlight. Green countryside made up most of Pallet Town, but a few small houses would decorate it, and the air smelt of flowers and freshly cut grass. A light breeze tugged impishly at my hair and clothes and I could hear the sound of children in mock pokemon battles. Those were kids who wanted to be trainers and leave the house, not me. I was not part of that world.

I was upset, I couldn’t even think clear, much less make an important travel decision, so I headed to the playground in hopes of calming down there. The playgrounds were where I would go to hide from the children’s teasing; it was a place for me to relax. I arrived at the playgrounds and sat down at the swings; I laid my bag next to me and began to swing about aimlessly.

A weird rustling sound interrupted my trail of thought, at first I thought it was a random kid coming to play, too, but when it steadily became louder and louder I began to worry. Paul was growling at the figure approaching me, his fur was bristling and his ears were flat at his head. Normally Paul was good around strangers, but when he suspected someone, it was for a good reason.

“Paulie, what is it?” I murmured. I got down from the swing and into a protective stance against the figure.

Soon enough, the figure got into the morning sunlight and was revealed. It looked like a man, yet it seemed so different. It was yellow all over with thick arms and legs, complemented by a white mane. Its face was pudgy and pinched, and the eyes were narrow slits and a large nose drooped over its mouth. The most striking feature of the thing was the slow swinging pendulum that it held, simply looking at it made me groggy. My eyelids drooped and my head began to nod, however, I could see the thing’s eyes narrow in anticipation; it wanted me to fall asleep!

However hard I tried to stay awake, I couldn’t. Even averting my gaze didn’t work; I couldn’t peel my eyes from the pendulum. Paul seemed to notice me beginning to dose off, so he attacked the yellow freak in hopes of snapping me out, but it only punched Paul sending him to the ground in a heap. So it was a Pokemon! But even with that knowledge, I couldn’t do a thing; I was losing consciousness.

Just when I was going to fall asleep, a loud grunt pierced the air followed by a low growl.

“Nidorino, attack that Hypno!” A gruff voice called.

I could just barely see the “Hypno” fall to the ground in a pathetic heap. I was on the ground next to Paul, when a tall figure stood over me.

“Dammit, what are we going to do with the kid?” The gruff voice murmured. Then the after-effect of the hypnosis took its toll and I slipped into a fitful sleep.

END OF CHAPTER ONE
 
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Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

First person to read the chapter yay. I just wanted to say so far so good. Everything so far seems nice and well planned out. Keep it up!
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

This chapter was great, I thought the story would focus only to Thabet, but adding Johan was a good twist. I wonder if Thabet was the one that saved Johan though that was a nice cliffhanger.

One thing I think you could've explained is why Johan's mom wanted him out so much, I mean was it because she was obsessed with having two sons that are trainers or did she just want the house to herself.
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

Thanks for reading the story, guys and I hope you enjoy the story.
More like she ashamed of the Johann thinks (being afraid of Pokemon), therefore she wants her to be a trainer, think of it like a mad soccermom.
But one thing, Johann is a girl *Shrugs*
Genders are kinda hard to present when you do first-person writing. But I thought the name was kinda obvious.
 
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Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

Oh well... it'll be Johanna. Much better.
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

I really like this chapter! It looks like Thabet's getting a new companion!!!
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

It's always so scary to have an Hypno attack a kid, isn't it? :XD2: (guess what...?)

But, oh well, nice chapter, really. What a horrible mother, though, even when I can kind of understand the reasoning in the world of Pokemon: most assuredly, you will work with Pokemon some day and you'll be seeing them for the rest of your life, so if kicking your kids out to make more Pokefriends helps them form bonds with them, and probably even define your kids' job, then what better way to raise them?
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

I liked it. Still a few errors in grammar, but it was mostly polished up.

Now, all that's really left for you to do is keep going, so you can get better and better. :)
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

Thanks, I'm still learning!
Thanks for reading everyone.
I liked that little touch of having a Hypno attack the kid, it seems in their character.
 
Re: Twins of Fate : Flames of Vengence (Chapter one)

Yup. If any Pokémon is known for its pedophilia, it's Hypno.
 
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