TEEN: Unpredictable

[AetherX]

I really should respond to these sooner...

@Rediamond; Suuuuuuper helpful review. Thanks so much! You actually convinced me to touch up the earlier chapters. I'm not sure how far I'll go, but you bring up a few things that I've been desperately trying to retcon and it would be better to just establish them early and meet in the middle. I want Keith to be less of an invincible character and more of a constantly scraping by on the skin of his teeth character. This may sound stupid, but his defeat-ability or lack thereof is an important part of where I plan to go with his character. As he is now, he is kind of boring and that's something I'll try to fix with the rewrites. I totally get where you're coming from with Criss as well and I absolutely agree with you (had she actually won Best Character I would have posted a rant about why that was undeserved with the next chapter, I'm glad that others agree with me). Her character will change substantially in the next few chapters and onward, so there's that as well. But anyway, thanks again for the review. One of the most helpful I've had!

@Flaze; I'm honestly not sure why I thought the first half of that chapter was so important. It kind of helped with building up the Spencer vs Nolan dynamic but that wasn't terribly vital in the end and could have been done in much less space. I actually invented Reese as the villain that would die here, but then I came up with a better way for him to fit in to the long term story. Unfortunately by then it was too late to come up with another symbolic baddie to kill off. Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.

This one's a bit shorter than usual.

This time: The aftermath of the Battle of Saffron

Chapter 43

I know I dreamed while I was out after the explosion on Silph Tower, but I don’t remember what of. I could only grasp at flashes of feeling and emotion. It was like a huge plug had been pulled out of me, and all of my anger and decisiveness and burning passion was slowly draining away. It was a relief, since I was so very, very tired. I could have drifted forever in that land of unknowing, in that mist of unfeeling peace.

Who was I? Why did I exist? Did I exist? What is existing, really?

But then, as suddenly as it had left, reality returned. White light dominated my vision as my eyes slowly opened. I blinked, remembering.

I am Keith Daniel Anders. I’m from Pallet Town and I’ve always wanted to have my very own Dragonite. I am on a journey to become Champion of the Indigo Pokémon League. Slowly but surely, the events of my life came flooding back to me, all the way up to the battle against Project Titan and its catastrophic conclusion.

So where was I now?

I looked around. The blinding light was beginning to fade, and my surroundings began to come in to focus.

I was lying in a small bed under clean white sheets. It dawned on me that I was in a hospital when I saw the other beds beside mine. I shifted slightly in an attempt to push myself upright. Bad idea.

Everything hurt. My muscles felt like they had whaled on with a meat tenderizer. My neck and elbows were stiff, and I didn’t even bother trying to bend my knees. The most impressive feat of strength I could pull off was curling my fingers into a weak fist.

A small tube ran from a bag of clear liquid suspended above my head down to my inner elbow and I didn’t really want to think about the remarkably uncomfortable sensation between my legs.

“Keith?” a familiar voice came from the bed next to mine.

I looked over. “Tim?” my voice came out like a whisper, my throat was so dry.

“How do you feel?” Tim looked a little bruised, and his dirt-colored hair was more unkempt than usual, but he looked like he was in good spirits at least.

Before I could respond, a portly nurse carrying a clipboard walked in to the room. Seeing I was awake, she rushed over to me and asked the same question as Tim.

“Tired,” I rasped. “Sore.” Single word sentences were definitely the way to go.

“You’re Keith Anders, correct?” the nurse asked.

I attempted to nod, but my stiff neck refused to cooperate. “Yeah,” I said instead.

She began inspecting some of the machines I was hooked up to and jotting things down on her clipboard. “Your brother got everything figured out when he brought you in, so luckily you don’t have to worry about any forms.”

“My brother?” I asked.

“Mhm, he brought the two of you in two days ago,” she responded.

I’d been out two whole days?

“Is he okay?”

“Oh, yes. I’m sure he’ll be in to visit before long.”

That was a relief. I knew that Spencer had gone out to Celadon to talk with the police force there, but I wondered if he had entered the city with them. I had no idea how Spencer would cope in a fight.

The nurse asked me a few more questions about how I felt and when I had woken up. When she was done, she tucked her pen into a breast pocket.

“Alright,” she said, scanning her clipboard. “You’ve got some minor burns, muscle strains, a concussion, and some cuts and bruises, but everything’s all cleaned up and taken care of. I think you’ll be fine after a couple days’ rest. You’ll probably be able to get up and walk around tomorrow, but we might have to keep you here under painkillers for another day after that.”

On one hand, anything less than an eternity of bed rest seemed like insufficient treatment, but on the other hand, I was eager to see what was going on in the outside world. “Okay thanks,” I choked out. The nurse shuffled off to look after a patient in another bed.

I tried my best to look around the room, but I didn’t see anyone else I recognized. I looked at Tim. “What happened?” I asked.

He smirked and shrugged painfully. “Team Rocket was kicked out of the city two days ago and now we’re in Saffron Hospital,” he said. “I just woke up this morning, so I don’t know much more than you.”

I looked at the ceiling. “I… I remember fighting that monster.” Words were coming more easily now. “And then it exploded… why did it explode?”

“Beats me,” Tim said. “My guess is that Psyke psychically protected us from the brunt of it, though.”

I thought about the fight on the tower, and then I suddenly began to panic. “Where’s Criss? Where are our Pokémon?”

The nurse answered before Tim could. “Your Pokémon have been sent to the makeshift clinic for treatment. It’s all documented; you shouldn’t have a problem retrieving them once you’re up and about.”

“What about Criss?” I insisted. “Tall, dark hair, would have been brought in with us.”

“Honey,” she replied, “there have been thousands of injured since the retaking, and more are discovered every day. I’m busy enough keeping up with the ones in my ward. Once you’re up and about, you can look her up.”

With a worried sigh, I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep. Despite the metric ton of stress I felt, it was surprisingly easy.

*****

My brother visited later that day, after a tasteless yet satisfying dinner. I perked up as the nurse showed him in.

Spencer looked incredibly tired. His short hair was messy and he had large dark bags under his eyes. His clothes were a stark contrast: a crisp suit and purple and red tie. He had the air of someone desperately trying to keep up appearances despite immense levels of stress.

The look of relief on his face when he saw me slowly hardened as he sat down on a stool between my bed and Tim’s.

“Would you mind telling me what the hell you’re doing here?” he almost growled.

“Hello to you too,” I said. Normally I wouldn’t be a smartass in a situation like this, but the pain medication I was on made me feel a little bold.

Spencer just glared in response.

“What? You’re the one that brought us here.”

“That’s not what I meant,” my brother said. “I mean why did you come to Saffron? You know how dangerous that was!”

I shrugged. “Yeah, and we came anyway. Criss said-“

“Oh, so you followed her here,” Spencer interrupted, leaning back with a frown.

In my mind I saw Reese smirking at me. “I’m surprised she convinced you to throw your life away. But then… she learned manipulation from the best.”

I frowned right back at my brother. “I chose to come here because I thought it was the right thing to do.”

“The right thing to do?” Spencer shouted.

The nurse, tending to a patient on the far side of the room, turned around. “If you can’t keep it down I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Spencer ignored her.

“Look,” I said, “I don’t understand why you’re so upset…”

“Upset?” he roared. “I didn’t even know if you were alive! I had to drag my brother’s comatose body from the still smoking rubble! How could I not be upset?”

“Now, really!” the nurse huffed, starting towards us.

But Spencer had already gotten up and stormed out of the ward.

I looked at Tim. His face was unreadable.

I turned over and closed my eyes. This time sleep did not come so easily.

*****

Criss was alive.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you much, besides the fact that she’s in the ICU,” the receptionist said. “Privacy laws and all that. But she should be ready to receive visitors soon. Ask me again tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll do that.”

That was somewhat good news at least, I thought to myself as I gingerly walked through the crowded hospital waiting room. Criss being in the intensive care unit wasn’t a huge surprise given how badly she had been beaten up. At least she was okay for now.

I had been discharged earlier that morning, not long after Tim. I was still pretty sore and more than a little woozy, but the three days of rest had helped considerably.

As I approached, the automatic doors slid open and let me out into the outside world for the first time in days. The first thing that hit me was the heat. It was like a hot summer day had gotten lost on its way to August and somehow ended up in April. It was probably for the best, given all I was wearing was a T-shirt and shorts. Apparently Spencer had taken the rest of my belongings. I’d probably have to go get those from him before long, but I certainly wasn’t looking forward to seeing my brother again.

The street outside the hospital was surprisingly plain. I don’t know if I expected more craters and burnt out buildings, but the quaint birch trees lining the road and rustling softly in the warm breeze were a far cry from the chaos of the city four days before. A fair number of people hurried about their business, their faces taut. No one spoke to each other, not even a casual greeting.

Trying not to think about what I’d say to Spencer when I next saw him, I headed down the street and looked at the palm of my hand, where I had scrawled the address the nurse had given me of the Pokémon medical clinic that had been set up until the Pokémon Center could be rebuilt. I had agreed to meet Tim there after we had each picked up our Pokémon.

The farther I got from the hospital the more I realized how bad of a shape the city was in. I passed several collapsed buildings, most of which had simply been cordoned off and left for later. There were plenty of people walking the streets, but it stayed quiet except for the sounds of construction machinery in the distance. No one said a word and I saw more than one tear-stained face. It was hard not to think of how I would feel if Team Rocket had done this to my home town. I imagined Pallet Town’s wharfs collapsed, its quaint little coffee shops ablaze, and bodies littering the potholed streets. Even just in my imagination, I felt violated. Home is a place where people feel safe. A place they are familiar with. And now home would remind all of these people of the most terrible days of their lives. I looked at my feet.

Besides the nurse’s cryptic comments about how busy the hospital was, I hadn’t gotten a real number when it came to casualties until this morning when I had looked at a newspaper on the waiting room table. Almost three thousand deaths and six thousand wounded accounted for so far, police, civilian, and Rocket alike. In our rush to get to the tower, I hadn’t realized how bad the fighting was. I struggled to wrap my head around it. Three thousand people.

I looked up in time to see my way was blocked by cleanup crews clearing rubble from the street. I looked at the nearest street sign to get my bearings and took a detour. When I turned the next corner, I found the most crowded street yet. A fleet of hearses lined the road, more than I had the heart to count. The first building I passed was an actual funeral home, but it seemed like the rest of the street had been converted. Every single office complex, apartment, house, and shop was filled with mourners. Their doors were propped open due to the heat, allowing me quick glimpses of the funeral services inside each building I passed. I caught brief snippets of speech, photographs of the dead, memories being shared. They tugged at my heartstrings, but I didn’t stop until I heard the tinkling of piano keys and a soft feminine voice singing from inside what looked like a used bookstore.

I slowed to a halt and looked inside. A dark coffin lay at the end of the room, covered in lilies. A picture was propped up on a frame next to it, showing a young girl with blonde hair and freckles who couldn’t have been any older than ten. The girl who was singing on the makeshift stage beside it looked so similar they had to be sisters. Had to have been sisters. I grimaced with empathy.

I leaned against the doorframe and listened to her gentle singing. Everyone gathered in the folding metal chairs, some thirty or so people, were facing the girl, so she was the only one who saw me standing there. We made brief eye contact, which I quickly broke, looking down at my feet and listening to the last mournful lines of her song.

“No, I didn’t pray to God.
No, I never saw the light.
No, I didn’t watch my life go flashing right before my eyes.
No, I didn’t do the things that they all said that I would do.
I just closed my eyes and all I saw was you.”

*****

NEXT: Explanations...

So on Rediamond's suggestion, I'm doing some minor-ish rewrites of the earlier chapters to fix technical mistakes as well as a few other things. Most of the important content won't change, but if I ever make references to specific events from the early chapters, I will be referencing the newer versions. Feel free to re-read if you'd like.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Barfing Ogres]

Great story you have here. Just a couple things I felt I should mention.

Plot and Characters: So what I can tell thus far is that this is a basic retelling of the old Red and Blue versions of yore, with a great deal of creative spin on it. I like how not as much attention was given to the beginning of the journey like Pallet Town and Viridian City, as that has been absolutely done to death. While at the beginning, things aren't as up to par as these later chapters, it is really obvious that character development particularly with Kieth and Tim has grown immensely. If I were to recommend anything, a little more internal dialogue for Keith in the earlier chapters would make him less bland and more believable as the story's narrator. Criss is a little one dimensional but it works for her I feel. Nolan is everything the Hero of the Hoenn region should be as well as being believable as a human who makes mistakes; +1.

Technical Stuff: All your grammar and spelling is good aside from a few errors in the beginning, so not much to say here.

World Building and Action: This is the strong point of the fic. You do battles really well and the Battle of Saffron story arc really nails it on the head. I look forward to seeing what happens in the Pokemon League, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Particularly evident in this most recent chapter, the world building is strong as well. You really do a devastated city justice.

Overall: Aside from the somewhat choppy beginnings that I think most fics go through, what you have here is pretty golden. Again, touching up the first few chapters would help immensely. Giving Kieth a little more of his perspective in the beginning would be a great start.

 

[Flaze]

Okay so this took me a while to read. I actually read it last week but I couldn't get around to doing a proper review for it.

I'm actually kind of glad the chapter this time was on the shorter side considering how long the last one was, nevertheless I think it's a chapter that does a lot in regards to Keith's character. Showing how Saffron City is mourning the deaths during the fight against Team Rocket was a godo way to go, a lot of stories tend to disregard the aftermath of a big climatic battle. I couldn't find any grammar mistakes on this one and I liked the way it was written, as usual your chapters flow without a hitch.

i kind of expected Spencer and Keith to have a proper brother reunion but this was a good way to go about it, it makes sense for Spencer to be mad with his little brother after he almost got himself killed.

Aside from that there wasn't much to say in this chapter, except that I'm wondering where Criss is, I have a feeling she's not in the hospital with the others and Keith'll be really sad when he finds out.

 

[diamondpearl876]

Who was I? Why did I exist? Did I exist? What is existing, really?

But then, as suddenly as it had left, reality returned. White light dominated my vision as my eyes slowly opened. I blinked, remembering.

I am Keith Daniel Anders. I’m from Pallet Town and I’ve always wanted to have my very own Dragonite. I am on a journey to become Champion of the Indigo Pokémon League. Slowly but surely, the events of my life came flooding back to me, all the way up to the battle against Project Titan and its catastrophic conclusion.

These are very heavy philosophical questions your character is asking. What does it mean, to him, to exist? What proves to him that he exists? What about purpose? The connection between mind and body? You could probably go on and on about the important recollections of the story's events as well. Basically I'd expand on things here.

She began inspecting some of the machines I was hooked up to and jotting things down on her clipboard. “Your brother got everything figured out when he brought you in, so luckily you don’t have to worry about any forms.”

“My brother?” I asked.

“Mhm, he brought the two of you in two days ago,” she responded.

I’d been out two whole days?

Seems odd that he'd ask about his brother like he wasn't sure he had one at all.

“Would you mind telling me what the hell you’re doing here?” he almost growled.

“Hello to you too,” I said. Normally I wouldn’t be a smartass in a situation like this, but the pain medication I was on made me feel a little bold.

Spencer just glared in response.

“What? You’re the one that brought us here.”

“That’s not what I meant,” my brother said. “I mean why did you come to Saffron? You know how dangerous that was!”

I shrugged. “Yeah, and we came anyway. Criss said-“

“Oh, so you followed her here,” Spencer interrupted, leaning back with a frown.

In my mind I saw Reese smirking at me. “I’m surprised she convinced you to throw your life away. But then… she learned manipulation from the best.”

I think dialogue is your strong suit. I'm impressed by the exchange here.

The street outside the hospital was surprisingly plain. I don’t know if I expected more craters and burnt out buildings, but the quaint birch trees lining the road and rustling softly in the warm breeze were a far cry from the chaos of the city four days before. A fair number of people hurried about their business, their faces taut. No one spoke to each other, not even a casual greeting.

Nice description to set the scene.

No one said a word and I saw more than one tear-stained face. It was hard not to think of how I would feel if Team Rocket had done this to my home town. I imagined Pallet Town’s wharfs collapsed, its quaint little coffee shops ablaze, and bodies littering the potholed streets. Even just in my imagination, I felt violated.

And this is even better description.

Are the lyrics from a real song? Either way, a sad chapter. The physical description and dialogue are strong. I'd work on emotional aspects and adding in more detail at the beginning of the chapter, particularly the hospital scenes.

 

[Persephone]

Being two months late to review a chapter is better than not reviewing it at all, right?

(By the way, you do still plan to finish this... right?)

Anyway, the chapter itself was alright. There needed to be some downtime between the end of the Project Titan and Walker battles and the end of the story, which can't be too far off. We're probably getting Criss' backstory next chapter, which will be nice, although you seriously could have hurried that chapter up and made her even more of an awards-bait character. But to each their own.

Not sure how I felt about Kieth, who generally isn't very philosophical at all, suddenly waxing into it when he was lucid, but I suppose he was on enough drugs to feel that it was justified. The "what the hell hero" speech was also rather warranted given the obscene recklessness of rushing into a warzone. He did win, but he had possibly the worst plan imaginable for doing it.

I looked into it and 3,000 casualties seemed about right. For reference, that's about the number of the 2003 Battle for Iraq which I suppose is the most comparable event I can think of, since the battle was surprisingly quick for urban, street-by-street warfare. If it had been more like Damascus or Stalingrad, well, 3,000 casualties would be a godsend.

I'm not as good with chapter-by-chapter reviews. Sorry.

 

[Sike Saner]

I'll admit, I was intimidated when I saw how long the chapter index was. I didn't know how long it would take to get through it all.

The story, that is, not the index.

But I finished in a matter of hours, which surprised me. It helped, I think, that the chapters weren't overly long or dense. And that they were tucked neatly under spoilers, thus letting the scroll bar go down faster between chapters, heh.

I was also legitimately surprised when Criss beat Keith in the tournament. And that's saying something, seeing as Criss is no pushover. I guess I'd just gotten too accustomed to Keith winning, heh.

Which is probably why it was so satisfying, seeing him get his ass handed to him for once. (Well, for the first time in an official battle context, anyway. I hesitate to call getting your wartortle stolen much of a victory.)

Speaking of Rainer. I'd wondered for a while if we'd ever see him again, but at some point he actually managed to slip my mind. I think all the hubbub in Saffron kind of distracted me, heh.

Project Titan caught me by surprise, too. Not that it existed, of course, but rather what it was. I'd just expected some canon pokémon, and when the thing appeared I was initially scrambling to try and piece together which it was from its description. Then the wings came out. Its appearance and abilities make me think "blastoise/charizard/venusaur-hybrid of some sort", but maybe there's something I've overlooked.

It's been a pretty long day. But all that great action there near the end made it all worthwhile, let me tell you.

Oh, one last thing:

I turned around to look at the machine, then at Haunter. “Did that thing just… teleport us?”

The ghost-type just stared at me and licked its eyeball.

Heh. So classy. So very classy. X3

 

[kintsugi]

It's been a while, but I'm on a binge. Dropping a quick one here, since I've actually only missed a few chapters since I last popped in.

First off, I'm really excited that you're planning on re-doing the early chapters; I remember some of them being a bit difficult to get through when I started (but I ended up being very glad that I did so). Best of luck to you with those; re-writing is a pain in the ass, lol.

The battle of Saffron was basically everything I expected from you and more, and you definitely delivered. The battle itself versus Project Titan was epic, although there was something almost surreal by the time Criss/Keith started counting down the Pokemon they had left conscious ("oh, look, twelve more!"/"only eleven now, whoops my bad, time for tea!") -- I assume you were trying to go for grit, but it kind of came off as a little unnatural to me.

Exploring the aftermath of a calamity is something I rarely see done in fanfiction, and I think you did it really well here. It was a little odd to see Keith giving some philosophical stuff to go with the pain, although this may be more because it was a little odd to see Keith giving much at all--as a first person narrator, he didn't really seem to contribute (and a lot of the Saffron battle wasn't even told from his point of view).

All in all, solid work with this arc, and I'm especially looking forward to finally seeing Criss's backstory. Because, you know, it's only been nearly fifty chapters by this point.

---

...so that's my story for the day, if you cared. It's not thread necromancy if I'm saying something productive and this isn't a deadfic, right? (And this isn't a deadfic, right? XD) Anyways, I'll try to give a more helpful review for later chapters, when I eventually catch up. I like what I'm seeing in the early bits so far a lot, but again, your writing style's probably changed/improved by now so there's hardly much of a point to go in depth yet, if you don't mind? I wasn't planning on posting until I'd caught up, but when I saw the quote, I couldn't resist.

I'm actually shocked at both how well this aged and at the fact that I didn't say "be back soon!" or something, so my ass is relatively in the clear. We both take the long way around, I guess.

I reread this fic about six months ago, and you've talked at length about why you thought that was a terrible idea, and I've never really talked at length about why I didn't regret it, so here we are. Who knows when you'll check this? I certainly don't.

--This meta review that was written and edited into an old review was brought to you by the people who were cheeky and decided to do it first--

Rereading this again was kind of a trip. I stand by my original decision not to comment much on the early chapters, and I think by now you've put in orders of magnitude more thought about how to rework them than I possibly could--but there really was something intensely pure about reading them, some weird sort of nostalgia that I associate specifically with the early days of fanfic. There's definitely early moments where the story hints at itself trying to be serious, but there's also something incredibly pure about the optimism that Keith feels in the early bits, and how wrong he ends up being about all of that. And, hmm, we've talked at length about aging as a reader, and I do think this is a story I appreciate much more the older I get; it's that special kind of nostalgia of having the writing world being so big and full of ideas, a blank page meaning freedom, the ability to lean into sharktooth162's enthusiasm for Mr. Flygon's exploits or that random "le avengers XD" kid dropping a gif in your thread and not coming back for years. The times from before we were our worst critics. I don't know to what extent the meta journey was intended, but it's certainly something that hit really hard on the reread--the gradual sinking until you hug your mom and realize you're old and you don't know how you've gotten there, sorta thing. I used to wax eloquent about how journeys are about the journey and not the destination, but in all honesty I think the coming-of-age story here is a lot more subtle and works better for it.

I remember complaining at length about how Keith's reaction to his dad + that time he shoved a guy into gunfire was a little weird, but the older I get and the more I start coexisting with some of my problems by just pretending they aren't there, the more I start to understand. Stories tend to involve characters tackling the elephant in the room because that's a more traditional plot structure, but after having actually lost things now, I get it more. Character-wise it'd be nice to have him reach that conclusion a little, but I'm also the kind of reader who needs someone to hop out of the bushes and explain the plot to me (or I'll just assume the author wasn't going for subtlety), so take it with the grain of salt that that's the kind of story I would've written, but not necessarily you.

Things that I remembered from reading a million years ago that I still thought slapped now--Rainer coming around the corner in Silph Co., defeat tasting like mud, Baron deciding that some people can be little wimpy idiots but he's not going to. You can shit on your own prose all you want, but you craft a lot of iconic moments, and these are things that I remembered for years because I thought they were rad. I thought the Rocket Skyguard was some sort of canon thing from a remake that I hadn't played or something, but it's actually just a really sick idea that you had here and it's awesome and aerial combat is hard to describe but the general picture of a skarmory trying to cut a flygon out of the sky is fucking awesome.

I'm torn on writing more here, since I want to save a lot of my thoughts for the actual new content + what I think is coming down the pipeline, and I imagine it'll be a few months before you actually think to check this but I don't want to plagiarize my best content. But rereading this story I thought a lot about why we choose to do things, why things are important to us, why we end up becoming certain people and if we even end up becoming who we want. A lot of Keith's early choices struck me as either hyper-focused or random. It's very reminiscent of early adulthood. He's fixated on revenge because that's more or less what you do when your dad gets bombed; he does the badge quest because that just sort of feels like the thing you'd do if you grow up in this world. There's conflicting motivations of desire and duty, but for the most part his journey felt like a thing he was doing because it was just what everyone his age did, and the things that he did because he wanted to (primarily vengeance) ended up being at the cost of the journey, and vice versa.

I do think my statements on Baron's death were stupid lol. It's an ugly death that happens when the dust is clear because the symbol of your heroic spirit dying after the fight, in a cruel and underhanded way offscreen instead of in a blaze of glory--makes perfect sense in a story that's been gradually trying to hammer home that the action movies aren't what they hacked up to be, and also that climbing a skyscraper with your backpacking gear is actually going to hurt your lungs a lot. It's a writing decision that I think makes a lot more sense mostly from me realizing that it's one thing to say that tragedy doesn't work the way it does in movies, and it's another thing to live it.

(and I think it's a liiiiitle gratuitous that he dies more or less thanking Keith, just like how Keith isn't really off-put by how Squirtle!Rainer's memories are mostly about him bc Rainer hasn't been allowed to know a life outside of him, when he first tries the psychic connection--but again, a hallmark of the genre, the story as you would've written it rather than me, etc)

But yeah, journeys and why we do them. There's a fun dichotomy of character "wants" vs "needs" here that gets increasingly strained as time goes on and as plots escalate. Keith wanting to defeat Team Rocket vs needing to ensure people's safety; Keith wanting to get a journey vs realizing that the real friends were the friends we made along the way. And all along the way there are people warning him that he shouldn't want what he wants while he gets what he needs, but he ignores it, so I ignored it too until the reread. I think the core themes work well in that regard.

I don't actually know how you typically end stories, but it would be pretty in-character for you to write him losing to Lance and not making it to the champion. This is also the endgame that you've gotten the most uncomfortably silent when I've talked about it, so I guess I'll stake my money on it. The story life numerous unseen personal accomplishments journey is important because it means something to you personally, not because anyone else recognizes it. Maybe life ground you down and killed your bird again and honestly there are so many big Adult things that you should be doing like stopping the yakuza-terrorist-technocrat-geneticists that you've forgotten why you even wanted this childish dream in the first place, but it used to mean something to the child you once were, so can't it mean something to the adult you became along the way? sorta thing.

... and, writing this out, this is just a longform essay that has the exact outline of Musician so. Yeah. I'll die on this hill I guess, even if the ending ends up being different from my predictions. I am trying really hard not to use the word suggesting that things are incalculable or doubtful.

Anyway, it's been rad. I think it's pretty cool that you're still working on this; the method acting of entering a four year quiet streak to prepare for the mental numbness of Keith's depressive grief was probably a bit overkill but it gave me time to actually cobble some less outdated thoughts, so weird flex but okay I guess. Looking forward, quite sincerely, to seeing how this ends.

 

[AetherX]

Responses:

Spoiler

@Barfing Ogres; Giving Keith a little bit more personality early on is one of my main objectives in the rewrites that I'm doing. Thanks for the review!

@Flaze; I've always felt that the aftermath of a big climax is immensely interesting. The Battle for Saffron will have a long resounding impact on the world I've created and I think it's important to show that this was a very big deal. I appreciate the review! (Misconceptions about what I'm going to do with Criss count: 1)

@diamondpearl876; I'm really glad you like the dialogue and description, I've been putting a lot of effort into that recently. The lyrics are in fact from a real song. Normally I'm not a big fan of including music in written works, but it's hard to ignore the fact that a majority of my inspiration comes from music. The lyrics of this song in particular created a really strong image for me when I was coming up with that chapter, and I listened to a piano cover of it constantly while I was writing. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

@Rediamond; I will finish this! This coming Monday will be the four year anniversary of this fic, and I will spend four more years if that's what it takes (God forbid). I got the casualty statistics from 9/11 actually. It seemed accurate enough. It certainly could have been more realistic with the whole battle and the concept in general, but if I had put all the time into research that I should have I actually would take eight years to write this. No worries about the shorter chapter-by-chapter reviews, I have that problem too Thanks for the review regardless (also: Misconceptions about what I'm going to do with Criss count: 2)

@Sike Saner; Only a matter of hours? I'm impressed! I tried to make a lot of Keith's losses as non-battle things. That first official loss will be important in the future, though. Project Titan is completely "original" and is actually kind of meant to be a combination of Rhydon and Magmortar with a tangela embedded in its back and dragon wings. I really appreciate your devotion in making it through. I apologize for the quality of the earlier chapters, I'm trying to fix those. Thanks for the review!

@kintsugi; I feel like I should point out that the last (and only) time you popped in was to post an Avengers gif about chapter 9.5 I'm actually enjoying the rewrites so far. Like I said in response to Flaze, the aftermath stuff is fascinating to me and something I care strongly about. Thanks for the review! (Misconceptions about what I'm going to do with Criss count: 3)

In case you can't tell, I'm afraid I won't be revealing Criss's backstory for some time now. She'll definitely get broken down, so worry not. I just don't want to reveal her story in full until I can do it real justice, which won't be for a while.

Look, it's only been two months! I'm getting better at this! Expect a new Chapter 2 before long.

Also, I forgot to mention this last time: beta reading credits to Beth Pavell. His feedback has really helped me.

This time: Some stuff gets explained. Maybe.

Chapter 44

Several blocks down from the ruin of the Pokémon Center was a huge plaza. Originally meant for lunching tourists, it had now been covered by dozens of canvas pop-up tents. Tim and I stood in line about an hour to retrieve our Pokémon from the makeshift medical facility. We didn’t say anything, simply listening to the bizarre chorus of Pokémon cries, crowd noise, and humming generators.

It was actually a pretty slick system. The computers they had set up at the visitor’s tent were hooked up to the Pokémon League’s database, so by simply swiping our IDs, they could identify our Poké Balls and quickly retrieve them from storage.

Spencer must have retrieved my Poké Balls from my pack, since they were all accounted for. The attendant took them out a basket and handed them to me one by one, listing them off.

“Kabutops, male. This one gave us a bit of trouble,” the kind faced, dark-haired man said.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, we deal with all sorts. Dragonair, female.”

“Yep.” I fixed the balls to my belt as he handed them to me.

“Blastoise, male. This guy looked like he had some older injuries that didn’t quite heal right. Know anything about that?”

I nodded. “I imagine Team Rocket is responsible.”

“Ahh, well… at least he came out of it alright. He’s still fit to fight. Pidgeot, male. Alakazam, male. Arcanine, male. Magneton, and…” he paused for a second on a simple, unmarked Poké Ball.

I was confused for a second, but then I realized. “That’s registered as a Butterfree, right?”

“Yeah… we didn’t-“ he began hesitantly.

“It’s okay, I released him a while back,” I interrupted.

The attendant gave a sigh of relief. Clearly he had been forced to give some sad news to too many trainers these past few days. I did not envy his job.

After a moment’s consideration, I tucked Locustod’s old ball and Gideon’s ball in my pocket. “Great, all accounted for,” I said. “Thank you.”

I turned to Tim, who had already received his Pokémon and was patiently waiting beside me. We were about to leave when we heard shouting from one of the tents nearby.

“Somebody grab it!”

“Like hell I ‘m grabbing an angry fire-type! Someone get Dr. Doherty!”

A red shape darted out from one of the wall flaps on a tent a few feet away.

“Hey!” I said.

Criss’s Flareon looked up at me. I knelt down as a woman wearing what looked like a fireman’s get-up sans helmet squeezed through the gap between the canvas wall of the tent and a support pole in pursuit of Flareon.

“Don’t touch that!” she screamed.

Flareon looked incredibly agitated and I could guess why. It shivered with nervous energy, and its eyes darted around, undoubtedly looking for Criss.

“It’s okay,” I said, both to the fireproofed doctor and Flareon.

“It belongs to a friend of ours,” Tim explained. “She’s in the hospital.”

I let Tim deal with the doctor. Meanwhile, I knelt down and cautiously put a hand out toward Flareon, who was crouched like it was ready to pounce on something. Flareon had never been terribly friendly to anyone but Criss, so I tried to calm it psychically.

It took me a few seconds longer than normal to calm myself down and concentrate enough to reach out with my mind, which I figured was a result of the shock of the past few days. Flareon winced and growled when I made contact. I tried my best to assuage its fears and send images of Criss calmly sleeping in a hospital bed.

“Shh… it’s okay. We’ll see her tomorrow, okay?” I said softly.

Flareon’s large, dark eyes stopped darting around and focused on me. After a second, it loosened up and let me gently brush its warm mane.

The doctor stared at me. “How did you do that?”

I stood up and shrugged. “It must have smelled my friend and I and recognized us,” I replied.

She crossed her arms and glared at me. “Well, your friend needs to learn to train her damn Pokémon.” She pulled a worn Poké Ball from a pocket. “It refuses to go into its Poké Ball!”

“I know it’s weird,” Tim said, “but it’s just really protective of her. It’s not used to being stored away.”

The doctor groaned and rolled her eyes. “I’ll never understand your generation’s obsession with these New Age methods. Poké Balls are for the protection of the Pokémon and others, including the people trying to treat it,” she scolded. “How am I supposed t–?”

She was interrupted by a timid looking man who poked his head out from where this doctor and Flareon had come. He appeared to be wearing the same fire retardant gear. “Uh… Dr. Doherty? We need your assistance with a Rapi–“

“I’ll be there in a second!” Dr. Doherty yelled at him, red in the face. He retreated back inside the tent looking like a scolded child.

“We could take care of it,” I suggested.

“You think I’m just going to let a stranger wander off with one of my patients? What kind of doctor do you think I am?” she said, arms crossed and glare unwavering.

The attendant handing back Poké Balls spoke up. “We’re not legally allowed to hand Pokémon over to anyone but their trainers.”

“It wouldn’t trust us if we were strangers.” I ran my hand along Flareon’s mane to illustrate my point. “I’m sure you’re busy, and Flareon is going to be like this until it finds its trainer. They’re very close.” I picked my words cautiously.

Dr. Doherty looked at me with pursed lips as she thought.

“You can’t possibly be–” the attendant began.

“Don’t you start on me!” Dr. Doherty screamed at the attendant, somehow managing to gesture threateningly with Flareon’s Poké Ball. He withered as she turned back to me. “Take it, but get your friend to check in with us as soon as possible, do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” I said.

“But–” the attendant began again.

“It’s hardly even been injured. Refugee camp aesthetics aside, this is supposed to be a hospital, not a day care!” She looked back at Tim and me, seething. “Get out of here before I change my mind!” She tossed me Flareon’s Poké Ball a bit harder than necessary.

Tim and I nodded and turned to leave, Flareon walking cautiously between us.

*****

It took some time, but Tim and I finally found a crowded hostel to stay the night in. It was an old brick building that looked like it hadn’t been renovated for about a century, but it had something resembling beds, and was one of the few places that allowed having Pokémon out, so it was quite popular.

I didn’t get much sleep. The constant packs of trainers and relief workers entering and leaving didn’t stop even in the early hours of the morning. Every time someone slammed a door or shouted something, I jerked upright, very nearly hitting my head on the bunk above me, my sleep deprived mind seized by a sudden irrational fear that Team Rocket had returned. Then all I could do was curl up on the cramped, stiff cot and wait for the adrenaline to fade until I drifted off back to sleep.

I don’t think Flareon slept at all. It just sat beside my bed and stared at the door.

Not long after sunrise the next morning, Tim and I left to go see if we could visit Criss. Despite Flareon’s lack of patience, we made a detour to grab a quick breakfast at one of the few cafés in the area that was open. Coincidentally, it was doing spectacular business. It was weird to think that the little café must have been locked up tight only a week ago, the buzzing neon signs powered off, and each of the many patrons unable to do something as simple as get a morning coffee.

I stared wordlessly at my blueberry muffin as we left the café. Flareon led the way to the hospital.

“You alright?” Tim asked.

“Yeah… just worried, I guess.”

“I’m sure she’s fine. She was standing closest to Titan when it blew up so it’s no surprise that she had to go to the ICU. She’s tough, she’ll pull through.”

Tim was right. If he and I had made it out alright, then Criss had to be okay. As if to remind me that I was far from unscathed, my cheek twinged.

The mark that Reese had left on my face was healing nicely. The swelling had gone down and the stitches were beginning to fall out, but it still felt sore. Four distinct marks formed a line underneath my left eye from my cheekbone to the bridge of my nose. Eating was not a fun exercise.

After Tim recalled that visiting hours started at 11 AM, we ended up walking around the block for an hour or so, further agitating Flareon.

“How’re your injuries shaping up?” I asked Tim.

“I’m still a bit stiff, but at this point I think that’s as more from that awful cot last night than anything else. What about you?”

I didn’t have the energy to laugh. “Pretty much the same. Just tired. Damned tired.”

“Me too.”

A couple minutes before eleven, we headed inside the hospital. The lobby was just as packed as when I had left the previous day. We had to wait in line before we could even ask the receptionist anything. When we got to the front, the receptionist smiled, remembering me from the day before. I gave her Criss’s name again.

“Let me see… yep! She’s looking much better.” She called a nurse over and asked him to show us to Criss’s room. “Except,” she said, “no Pokémon allowed, I’m afraid.” She looked at Flareon.

The bearded nurse that was apparently attending to Criss spoke up. “Actually, she’s been asking about her Flareon. It should be fine.”

With that taken care of, we followed the nurse to Criss’s private room in the ICU.

I held my breath as we went inside, half expecting an empty bed and a curtain fluttering over an open window, but Criss lay under pale blue sheets, sitting up slightly and surprisingly alert. She smiled when she saw us, a small but amazingly genuine smile.

Flareon shoved past my legs and leaped up onto her bed, growling lightly in excitement. Criss winced as her Pokémon stepped on her, but laughed. “Glad to see you’re okay too,” she rasped.

I moved forward and grabbed Flareon around the middle, setting it back on the ground. The nurse told us he would be just down the hall and left to give us some privacy. Flareon immediately jumped back up on the bed, curling up on Criss’s legs.

“How’re you feeling?” Tim asked.

“Getting better. Not breathing with a machine anymore, and no more surgeries. How about you?”

Her skin was sunken and even paler than normal. The cuts around her face were old enough now that bandages were removed, but particularly the cut on her temple from where she had hit her head falling off of Aerodactyl on that first insane scouting mission was very visible.

“We’re fine,” I said. “You look like shit.”

“You’re one to talk, Scarface,” she replied.

I smirked. At least her snark was undamaged.

“So what happened to you?” Tim asked. “We got out yesterday.”

Criss closed her eyes. “Multiple cracked ribs, first and second-degree burns, severe internal bleeding, countless lacerations, and a pretty bad concussion,” she listed.

“Well aren’t you special,” Tim said with a smile. “I’m jealous, we got maybe two of those.”

We were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Curious, I walked over and opened it.

I was greeted by my brother, in similar attire as the last time I had seen him. “Uhh… hey,” he said.

Behind him was none other than Sabrina, looking as unreadable as ever. I stepped aside to let them in. Criss looked questioningly between the newcomers.

“We know you were in Silph Tower when Team Rocket retreated,” Spencer explained. “I figured if you could tell us what you saw we might be able to make some sense out of what they left behind. The cleanup crews have found some weird stuff.”

“You must forgive our intrusion,” Sabrina said. “Keith’s brother here found me and requested that I be present when you convene and compare notes, so to speak. I must admit that I too, am interested.”

“I thought that Sabrina’s experience in the city might be able to provide another point of view,” said Spencer.

I looked at Tim and Criss, who were both nodding. “So what do you want from us?” I asked.

“The whole story,” my brother replied. If he was still angry at me, he wasn’t showing it. “From when you entered the city to whatever caused that explosion on top of the tower.”

“Alright,” I said. I pulled up a chair and sat down before beginning.

I didn’t realize how long of a story it was. I told Sabrina and my brother how Criss and I had attempted to enter the city under the cover of darkness and how we had been attacked by the Skyguard. Tim cut in and told them how he had recruited Neil and Anna. We went back and forth telling how the Pokémon Center had been attacked, how we had fought our way through the city, and how we finally came to enter the tower.

Criss didn’t really say anything, only interjecting corrections here and there and giving a brief recounting of what had happened to her when the teleportation machine had separated us. When I got to finding the memo about Project Titan Spencer stopped me for the first time.

“Hold on, did you say ‘Titan’?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure it said Titan?”

“Very. Are you familiar with it?”

Spencer shrugged. “Kinda. Keep going, I’ll explain once you’re done.”

Tim and I continued, trading off. Spencer looked shocked when we said we had encountered Team Rocket’s boss, and his jaw actually dropped when we described seeing Project Titan for the first time. Sabrina never reacted besides cocking her head sideways in an interested manner.

It took about an hour to tell the whole story. Tim and I sat on opposite sides of Criss’s bed, but Sabrina and Spencer stayed standing. Criss looked considerably more alert than she had been when we walked in. Finally, we came to the end as I described the odd flames that had flickered around Project Titan’s corpse and the ensuing explosion. That was the only thing that provoked a reaction from Sabrina. I think her left eyebrow raised a whole millimeter in what could have been surprise, shock, or disbelief.

“So…” I said after a moment of silence following the conclusion of our tale. I looked at my brother. He was looking at the ceiling, deep in thought. “What’s Project Titan?”

“An urban legend,” Spencer responded after a second. “Project Titan is a story they toss around at Silph. Most people don’t believe it ever existed. Being an overly curious moron, I actually looked into it pretty thoroughly my first year.”

“But what is it?” Criss asked, her voice still raspy.

“Rumor had it that Project Titan was an old project started by the Silph Company’s genetics division to create the most powerful Pokémon ever.”

“Create?” Tim asked skeptically.

Spencer nodded. “Yup.”

“But you looked into it,” I said. “What did you find?”

He shrugged. “Actually, I found out that it was real, sort of. There was an old project called Titan that had to do with collecting and processing DNA of incredibly rare and powerful Pokémon. It wasn’t a huge success due to the frustrating habit of rare Pokémon to be, well… rare. All the research got bought up by some private investors and shipped over to the lab on Cinnabar that ended up being mostly destroyed in a fire about ten years ago.”

I looked at Spencer. “The lab where Dad died…”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “That’s how I found out about it actually. No real leads though. Titan didn’t go anywhere.”

“Apparently it did,” Tim said. “Team Rocket must have restarted the project, to more than some success.”

Sabrina spoke for the first time. “They must have gathered DNA from the Pokémon they had collected and spliced them together to create that creature.”

That made sense. “But why did they leave it behind? And why in the hell did it explode? It makes no sense!”

“They left it behind because it was a dead end,” Spencer said. “The memo you found proves that much. Whatever they were after, Project Titan didn’t quite meet the mark.”

“Then they couldn’t have been after money or power, because Project Titan could have brought them both,” Criss pointed out.

“Not so,” said Sabrina. “They had to leave it behind no matter what. It was dangerous. Keith is asking the right question: why did it explode?”

“Do you know?” I asked.

Sabrina nodded. “You will forgive me if I give the long answer to your question. It involves some complex biological theories that require a bit of background. Are any of you familiar with the Theory of Psychical Hierarchy?”

Tim, Criss, and I shook our heads.

“Vaguely…” Spencer said.

“It has been around for quite some time, but only gained popularity in the scientific community thirty-some years ago after a report by none other than our very own Cinnabar Island gym leader.”

“Wait, Blaine’s a real scientist?” Tim said.

“He used to be a very well respected one, before retirement led to him giving in to his eccentricities,” Sabrina responded.

“Huh…”

“If I may continue…” Sabrina said. “The key to comprehending this theory is understanding that Blaine used the term ‘psychic power’ to describe a very abstract and difficult to measure phenomena: the power of the soul, or life force. The Theory of Psychical Hierarchy posits that psychic power is the ability of one’s mind to manipulate the world around it, and that everything in the universe can be ranked hierarchically according to how much psychic power it has.

“At the lowest tier are inanimate objects, basic elements, compounds and the like. Above that are plants, and then other non-Pokémon organisms, including humans. Immediately above humans are people like myself, who have a limited psychic ability.”

For some reason I expected Tim to be shocked at this, as he had never heard of psychic humans as far as I knew, but he merely cocked his head in curiosity.

“Above us are Pokémon, ranked according to their own strength,” Sabrina continued. “At the very top are the strongest psychic-type Pokémon.” She paused for a second. “This is key. Certain Pokémon have control over fire, others water, others electricity, all according to what their body is most suited to and what their environment demands of them. Pokémon develop a close bond with their element as they grow. A Charmander that is not raised in a proper environment or without proper training will never learn to control fire, just as a Pidgey trapped in a cage would never learn to fly. All Pokémon have the ability to learn techniques that are outside of their areas of expertise, but none so well as psychic-types.”

“So what you’re saying,” Spencer interrupted, “is that this creature that they faced would have had to be some kind of psychic-type in order to harness all of the power that it did.”

“Yes. Psychic Pokémon are not simply familiar with a single element, they are versed in the very fabric of existence. They can manipulate the world around them with nothing more than a thought. All it takes for them to control fire or water is a basic understanding of what they are. Does this make sense?”

The rest of us nodded. Suddenly I had much more respect for Psyke and what he could do. “So then what about dark-types?” I asked.

“The dark-type represents chaos,” Sabrina replied. “We often attach emotions like fear and hatred to the dark-type because they create chaos and unpredictability. Darkness skews a psychic’s understanding of the world, which can negate its powers. But continuing on with my original point, I’m assuming you are familiar with what happens when a fire-type dies in combat?”

“It bursts into flame,” Criss said. “Fire-types draw from their inner flame to control fire. In combat they have to stoke that flame, and if they die before they can diminish it again it will consume their body.”

I had heard of this phenomenon a couple times, but never seen it myself. It kind of made sense, so I had never had any reason to doubt it.

“A bit of a simplification,” Sabrina said, “but more or less correct. What many do not know is that this is true of all Pokémon. If a Pokémon dies while using its inherent psychic abilities to draw on its element of choice, it will be consumed by the very energy it was trying to control. The real reason this happens is not simply death, but because the Pokémon has accessed the power but does not have the energy to properly channel it. Most Pokémon have biological safeguards to prevent this from happening in any situation outside of a sudden and violent death, but if there were a creature not created by the masterful genetic engineering of nature itself, then such a safeguard might be missing.”

I nodded, finally understanding. “Project Titan was unstable. Team Rocket’s scientists gave it all the power they could, but not the ability to control it properly. When we beat it, we forced it past the energy threshold that its body could take, and the psychic power consumed it. Violently.”

“In short, yes,” Sabrina said.

“That would explain a lot of what I’ve seen so far of the projects Team Rocket was working on,” Spencer said. “There was a lot of focus on psychic powers.”

“If you require any further assistance interpreting your findings, you need only ask,” Sabrina said. “Now…” she stopped. I had never seen Sabrina hesitate before, so it was odd to see her think about what she was going to say next. The rest of us just sat in silence, waiting for her to continue.

“I have something I would like to say to you all,” she finally said. “I have been foolish these past months.”

I looked at her, confused. As far as I could tell, Sabrina had never made a mistake in her entire life. Hearing her confess to one sounded so odd.

“When Team Rocket took over the city, the fighting was fast and decisive,” Sabrina said. “I attempted to fight back at first, but was quickly overwhelmed and pushed back to my gym. There I stayed, licking my wounds and wondering about the fate of the city for a whole week before I even bothered to venture outside. When I finally realized what had happened, I was afraid. I was afraid to chase Team Rocket down. I was too afraid to attempt to flee. I convinced myself that my best option was to stay in my gym and wait for an opportunity. I believed that offering shelter and protection to others who came by would be enough. I believed I was doing my part. I was wrong”

Sabrina sighed. She wasn’t looking at any of us, just staring at the wall above Criss’s bed. “As a Pokémon trainer, I believe in the virtue of balance. I believe that strength comes from one’s ability to balance humility and confidence, rationale and boldness. I failed in this. I thought that my fear was making me appropriately cautious, but it was making me needlessly cowardly. Saffron has been my home for my entire life, and yet I failed to balance my fear of Team Rocket with my love for this city and the people in it.”

She reached into the pocket of her clean, white pants and pulled something out. “You, all four of you, did what I could not. You volunteered to defend a city that was not your own and balanced your fear of defeat with your belief that victory was an absolute necessity. The Pokémon League allows me to grant the Marsh Badge to trainers who I deem worthy. You have been worthier than any trainers I have ever met.”

One by one, she handed us what she had pulled out of her pocket: four small bronze badges. I looked at mine as she dropped it into my outstretched hand. It was a simple design, just a small metal circle with the usual pin on the back.

“Thank you,” Sabrina said as each of us looked over the badges. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have accrued quite a list of challengers over the past few days.” Without another word, she stood and left.

I continued looking at the little badge in my hand, its implications slowly dawning on me. I looked at Tim, giddiness rising in my chest. He was grinning like a madman.

“Eight,” I said, simply.

“Eight!” he confirmed.

“Eight!”

We could go to the Pokémon League!

*****

NEXT: Rewards

Thanks for reading!

 

[Sike Saner]

Okay, Project Titan is even cooler than I realized. Sweet.

Doherty was quite the prickly pear, wasn't she? Can't say I blame her, honestly. That's probably the most hectic her workplace has been in a long time, if not ever. In her position I'd go straight-up nuclear. She'd be like chamomile and lavender incarnate in comparison.

Criss is hella lucky to be alive--as I'm sure she's very much aware, heh. Bet she's going to be sore for a while.

 

[Flaze]

Here to deliver myjudgement for your fic during the awards. Aso congratulations on winning best supporting

Unpredictable

Plot 6/10: Really when you look at it Unpredictable basically follows the plot of the Kanto games, it might not follow it down to a T but it doesn’t really deviate much from it. It does expand a lot more on the struggle against Team Rocket and gives it a more realistic edge at least in its last third though.

Unpredictable has also introduced some new aspects to what’s know in the game such as the use of Psychic abilities which usually aren’t really explained that much.

Setting 6.5/10: Much like its plot Unpredictable doesn’t really do much in regards to expanding its setting much more than the games do. The cities and towns are pretty much on a bigger scale when compared to their game counterpart but it’s nothing that really stands out. It’s not bad though as it does try to expand more on what makes these places special but it’s pretty much what we already know to a T. At least the description AetherX uses for it makes it easy for the reader to imagine and make out the surroundings.

Characters 8.2/10: I’d say the characters are probably the most important part of the story. Keith himself has received a lot of criticism due to him not really standing out when compared to other journey protagonist and being a little op, but I like the character development that he receives throughout the story. Then there’s characters like Criss or Reese who stand out amongst the rest and Harry who was my personal favorite, they’re far and in between but there are characters that do get a lot of development and growth.

Style 9/10: I myself like Unpredictable’s particular style, while it’s mostly first person the style in which AetherX writes allows the story to flow smoothly so even though the chapter are long they are really easy for anyone to read. It’s kind of a barebones style when you really look at it but it manages to get the job done right and makes it more fun to read.

Technical 8/10: There are grammar mistakes scattered around here and there even in later chapters, but AetherX has done a good job of editing his chapters lately, so it makes it better at least. His description fits really well like I said before as it makes it easier for the reader to imagine what goes on as well.

Overall 75: While Unpredictable doesn’t have the most original plot out of all journey fics out there it does stand out in how it explores the plot that was set up by the games. It’s an action fic through and through reminiscent of an action movie with characters that also fit that specific setting. That doesn’t make it bad though and it’s honestly a really fun story to read if you want something simpler and with a lot of ass-kicking.


Criss from Unpredictable

Depth 8/10: To me I feel like Criss has the most depth out of Unpredictable’s whole cast. I think this is mostly owed to the fact that a lot of the plot is tied to Criss’s character and past and we get a lot of chances to see different aspects of her. This stands out in the sense that Criss’s past (or at least what we know of it) really does a lot to sell the fact that she’s basically a girl that grew up with her childhood stolen due to having to be part of Team Rocket and all.

Entertainment 8/10: Criss is pretty much the character that has helped our protagonist grow from the start, she also acts as the brain of the main group as well as being quite a powerful trainer herself. I don’t really know how to explain it but the way she interacts with the other characters as well as her own actions make every scene she’s in entertaining.

Plot 9/10: Like I said before, I think Criss is the character with the most plot involvement than all the other characters in this story. She’s tied to Team Rocket and to the villains and she’s also the one that gets the plot rolling from way back in chapter 1 as well as being responsible for a lot of Keith’s own development. The story also hints at the fact that she might be even deeply involved with other organizations which means that her character is important to the oncoming sequel as well.

Originality 7/10: I don’t know if Criss can’t really be called that original. She’s essentially a badass chick and that’s not something that hasn’t been seen before, I think what makes her stand out the most is the way she story portrays and develops her. She isn’t just some cold badass for our character to aspire to or to be with, she’s got her own issues and shortcomings that are explored to a really far extent and that define her. She’s also not indifferent to having failures and while she’s the brains of the group she also makes a lot of mistakes.

Overall 80/100

 

[Persephone]

Hi,

Here for the Review Game.

...OK, so I was sort of wrong about another chapter making a huge difference in Criss' character. So I guess we're still waiting for that. I liked the chapter as a bridge to life starting to get back to normal, even after horrible events. Shops and gyms open, the hospitals slowly empty, and for better or worse people move onto different things.

I also rather liked the Flareon scenes, as they showed a relatively rare burst of a Pokemon's character in the story with a Pokemon having its own will independent of those who would control it. Which leads into something I kind of didn't like... Kieth never sent out his Pokemon after getting them back at all. Even after they almost died and fought a near-god, he never bothered to reward them or even give them some time outside of a Pokeball or anything outside of making a mental note to congratulate an Alakazam on his species being awesome. If it was meant to show Kieth as vaguely sociopathic and very ungrateful it served its purpose. But for anything else I'm not sure it did and it came off as a tad unrealistic.

Not sure what to make of spending a few paragraphs to build up to "and that's why it exploded." I did like the moment where they realized that Blaine was actually a scientist, though. If it's going to be important to the sequel or future arcs, OK, I guess. But if that theory isn't going to be a big deal I don't see why you spent that much time on it since it advances relatively little in the story.

I'm also really curious to see how you're going to deal with Mewtwo now, since Project Titan really was a straight expy the whole time.

Also not sure what to think of just getting Sabrina's badge, but I'm inclined to think it was the right thing to do since the story doesn't really need to rush back into action sequences yet. So I'm really not sure if you're going to cut off the sequel/prequel cutoff soon or if you're going all the way to the E4. I kind of hope you do the former since you built to a climax and the story just feels like it's in resolution territory now. But I could be wrong since I felt much the same way about the tournament arc as well.

Anyway, hopefully we'll be getting into Criss' backstory soon. Hopefully. Until then, I'll see you a month after you post your next chapter or something like that.

 

[AetherX]

I usually don't respond to reviews immediately, but this was super helpful.

I also rather liked the Flareon scenes, as they showed a relatively rare burst of a Pokemon's character in the story with a Pokemon having its own will independent of those who would control it. Which leads into something I kind of didn't like... Kieth never sent out his Pokemon after getting them back at all. Even after they almost died and fought a near-god, he never bothered to reward them or even give them some time outside of a Pokeball or anything outside of making a mental note to congratulate an Alakazam on his species being awesome. If it was meant to show Kieth as vaguely sociopathic and very ungrateful it served its purpose. But for anything else I'm not sure it did and it came off as a tad unrealistic.

You make a very good point here. I've been trying to balance a lot of themes and development in these chapters, so I often miss things like this. There's a scene I was considering for the next chapter that covers something along this line that I'm definitely going to do now.

Not sure what to make of spending a few paragraphs to build up to "and that's why it exploded." I did like the moment where they realized that Blaine was actually a scientist, though. If it's going to be important to the sequel or future arcs, OK, I guess. But if that theory isn't going to be a big deal I don't see why you spent that much time on it since it advances relatively little in the story.

That whole exposition is important in a variety of ways. It sets up a couple key future plot points, and was actually primarily meant to be a look at the way Pokemon powers work in my canon. A huge part of that was to impose a physical limit on Psychic-types, which are really OP in theory. That said, I agree that it's pretty damn tedious. I just wasn't sure how to impart a lot of that information in any other way.

I'm also really curious to see how you're going to deal with Mewtwo now, since Project Titan really was a straight expy the whole time.

Not quite an expy, actually. I'll be detailing a lot of this stuff in the first couple arcs of the sequel so I don't want to give too much away, but I imagine a sharp-eyed reader should be able to figure out how Mewtwo fits in to all of this (hint: Mewtwo was mentioned very briefly in the Saffron arc, though not by name).

Also not sure what to think of just getting Sabrina's badge, but I'm inclined to think it was the right thing to do since the story doesn't really need to rush back into action sequences yet. So I'm really not sure if you're going to cut off the sequel/prequel cutoff soon or if you're going all the way to the E4. I kind of hope you do the former since you built to a climax and the story just feels like it's in resolution territory now. But I could be wrong since I felt much the same way about the tournament arc as well.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently, actually. This would be the perfect place to end the story, but unfortunately the perfect place to begin the sequel is after the Elite Four. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm almost certainly going to write a Pokemon League arc at this point. Hypothetically, I'm actually curious as to what your thoughts would be on not detailing it at all. The sequel will pick up a year after the events of the Pokemon League arc. Would it be worth ending it here and skipping ahead? I've certainly considered it, but I think skimping on the stereotypical end to the stereotypical journey fic would be disingenuous.

I really don't like how I handled the tournament arc. I was too excited to move on to Saffron, so I missed out on a lot of opportunities, reducing the impact of the events (most notably, Keith's first loss). I'm attempting to do a better job this time around by devoting an entire arc to resolutions.

Thanks a ton for the review! It's given me a lot to think about.

Oh yeah, and:

she’s basically a girl that grew up with her childhood stolen due to having to be part of Team Rocket and all.

I've never said that. I'm not saying it's wrong nor am I saying it's right, but I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions just yet

 

[Beth Pavell]

The action climax is over and I think trying to compete with it in a Pokémon League arc is asking for trouble. The characters still have a lot of unresolved issues, though. On the most mundane level none of them seem to really know what they're going to do after the League - being faced with the possibility that there's nowhere higher to go, in the context of the Battle of Saffron and Giovanni's escape ... so far in the story the protagonists have been more or less reacting to whatever Team Rocket have been up to. I'd use the last arc primarily as a way to get them thinking more like adults and less like crusaders

 

[Flaze]

Who needs to think like an adult when they're teenagers?

 

[diamondpearl876]

All right. Like I said, this should be a large review, if only because the fic in and of itself is a monster project to take on. Starting with chapter 2 because I read chapter 1 for the Review Game.

I think you already know the major kinks: lack of description, little to no defining charactistics for Keith, fast-paced plot, etc. I mostly pointed out particularly sentences/scenes that either did or didn't work. It's important to recognize both.

“She saved my life when I was young,” Criss said. She added quietly, almost as an afterthought to herself, “...and many times since then.”

I waited, but she didn’t say anything more. I decided to take another stab at friendly conversation. “Where’d you get that headband? I’ve never seen that symbol before.”

Quite bad at making friendly conversation, I must say.

Criss stopped walking, turning around and stared into my eyes with that hard look on her face. “Yes, if necessary,” she said coolly. “What did you think we would do?”

“I don’t know. Paralyze them with electric attacks, I guess. And then drag them back to the police.”

Their views on violence and dealing with "bad guys" is pretty clear here, just based on dialogue. Nice job.

“Clefairy, the fairy Pokémon,” I whispered aloud. “The moonlight that it stores in the wings on its back apparently gives it the ability to float in midair. Its adorable behavior and cry make it highly popular. However, this cute Pokémon is rarely found. It becomes easier to spot, for some reason, on the night of a full moon.”

I read this and thought he sounded just like a pokedex, then realized I had skipped the previous paragraph. Oops. The most amusing pokedex entry I've ever read, clearly.

I released Baron from its Poké Ball again.

Any particular reason you refer to pokemon as "its"? Generally "its" gets to sound awkward over time.

My friend David had left on his journey a couple months before I did. Somewhere out there he was traveling from gym to gym with his Bulbasaur. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going through similar things. How would he handle this? Would his traveling companion’s casual mention of murder break his friendly, confident bravado?

Not sure if this David is gonna show up later, but if not, I think I'd cut it or find a different way to express his confusion, like you did with the paragraphs after this one.

These were the men who had torn my family apart. The thought of my dad made my heart clench in sadness and outrage, like a vice-grip had taken ahold of my chest. I had beaten Brock. I could beat these assholes. This was just another step on my journey. I could prove myself to Criss and make myself stronger in the process. Newfound confidence poured through me. This may not be the usual way a journey worked out, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Instead, I was going to let it help me grow.

Not to mention, a more logical side of my brain added, Criss’s side is probably the safest place to be right now. Her handling of the Rocket in the supply room was evidence of that.

That shut up my cowardice.

This is a nice example of what power such short, simple sentences can have. I like it.

Realizing the urgency of the situation, I shook off my last dregs of hesitation and commanded a gust from Baron, tossing the little bird forward.

"tossing the little bird forward" is such a cute image. I have pet birds and I like doing the same myself. Does that make me a real pokemon trainer?

The glow slowly faded. Baron let out a shrieking battle cry. I couldn’t help but feel like it was directed at me. As if to say, “I have made myself strong enough.”

I think this is the 3rd evolution this week I've read about. They've all happened during a battle, just like this. I'd punch someone, except the personality you give the pidgeotto at the end of this quote made the evolution worth it. So cute. ;_;

“Use --” I paused. “I don’t know, just get it!”

I love inexperienced trainers when they make commands like this.

And yet… I wanted to stay with her. Criss had shown faith in me. Faith that I would be able to help.

Seems like she has a hidden soft side, then, 'cause I certainly wouldn't have had the same faith.

mythical mob boss or not.

Best description of Giovanni(?) I've ever seen.

He laid on the ground, dead, his black uniform disguising the pattern of blood blossoming on his back.

I predict an angsty bout of self-reflection later on.

What drove her to such insane lengths? Only time would tell.

Hopefully.

One of my favorite character dynamics involved someone being interested in a person they just met, especially if they're rather mysterious and obviously unhealthy to be around. Is that weird? Maybe, but it's good for you because that's exactly what you're tackling here.

There was a “random entry” button that I used to flip through various species of Pokémon, memorizing their capabilities as well.

Ah, that's a nice detail to add to a pokedex. An empty one that you have to fill with information never seems to make sense to me in fics.

A Magnemite. Now this was a rare occurrence. It must have gotten lost and drifted away from the nearby power plant (nearby as the Murkrow flies that is, a river and a mountain pass separated it from Cerulean). I couldn’t let a chance like this get away, I had to catch this Pokémon.

There's the electric-type they needed back at Mt. Moon!

The bridge was a popular tourist destination and was famous for its amazing views of the sunset behind Mt. Moon as well as excellent fishing.

I don't read many Kanto fics, so my first thought was: "I WONDER WHAT HE'LL DO WITH NUGGET BRIDGE." And you actually gave it a reason as to why it's so popular. You're cool.

When you turn 16 and graduate from high school, you’re given the option of registering for the Pokémon league. If you do, they give you a choice of three starter Pokémon, which varies depending on the region, and a free pokedex. In return you have to challenge the gyms of your region and possibly even the elite four. If you win, you become champion, which is every little kid’s dream. They do this in order to make new, strong, trainers that are then ripe for recruitment into the police force or one of many Pokémon academies and universities. It seems like a win-win situation doesn’t it? But the problem is that not many people want to leave home at 16. They usually get a Pokémon as a gift from their family and go through life as a normal person, going on to college and getting a normal job. Accepting the challenge is seen as the poor man’s way out. On top of all that, people rarely win. That’s an established fact. People, like me, who actually think they have a chance at winning, are seen as immature and a little crazy.

Reminds me of a certain someone in Survival Project...

In all seriousness, I like this take on the pokemon league, though if they want to train strong trainers for that purpose, the 10-year-old age thing might actually make sense. The younger you start, the better.

“Tortle!” Fangs were evident in its mouth. Tesla chattered in surprise and amazement.

Seems like Tesla has a thing for strong pokemon! So cute.

I shook his hand, “yeah! That would be awesome!” I was going to be on TV!

The start of this chapter has been very quick. In less than ~5 paragraphs you have Keith waking up, determining he'll win, marching to the gym, wanting to battle Misty, and then the revelation of him being on TV. I think this is my biggest point of the fic so far - Keith doesn't have much of a personality, which is detrimental to your narration because, well, first person is all about personality. I assume you know this already and will work on it in the rewrite, but I thought I'd point it out to emphasize that it needs work.

Misty was waiting for me to make the first move again. She was clearly expecting another special attack as a light screen began glittering in front of her Starmie.

This paragraph (it would be a big quote if I included all of it) is probably the best part of the battle. Keith's not much of a strategist, but it's fine for a beginner trainer. The description and tension was nice, though I would suggest making the battle longer, more competitive, and adding small sensory details to the underwater scene. Even if they can't command their pokemon, surely they can hear them fighting or peer into the water.

Misty looked me in the eyes, almost curiously, “You really don’t screw around, do you Keith? You just rolled me up and tossed me aside. How do you do it?”

I looked at the ground, flattered. “Just a lot of careful planning and strategy I guess.”

“Well whatever it was, it worked. Here’s the Cascade Badge,” she handed me a badge that looked like a blue drop of water. I pinned the badge on the fabric at my belt. It was the second of eight, and maybe more.

I'd suggest adding a scene at the beginning of the chapter that shows Keith doing these strategies. Also, I think Misty would be experienced enough to figure out what Keith had been planning after the battle, if not during.

Each morning I would get up, go for a run, come back to the center for breakfast, and then head over to the gym to train with Rainer and Tesla for a couple hours.

If Keith is meant to be athletic, you could do some cool things with him training -with- Tesla and Rainer, I'm sure.

“Hey Misty, what’s up with that cave across from the bridge? I asked a police officer how to get there and he just questioned my sanity.”

That would have been an interesting conversation to see.

But my thought was cut short by a sudden pang of intense fear. For some reason, I felt like I must never tell anyone what I had just seen. If I did, then terrible and unspeakable things would happen. I was terrified but I had no idea why. I tried to keep running in order to rid myself of my unexplainable agitation.

Wonder if this has anything to do with Mewtwo's psychic powers. At any rate, I don't think I've ever seen Cerulean Cave explored in a fic like this, so kudos for this chapter.

“No,” I responded, “there was just quite a bit of unplanned stuff. If you know what I mean.”

Somehow, I don't think Tim knows what you mean, Keith.

“Do you have any money left or did you spend it all on that feast?” I asked him raising an eyebrow.

“Food,” he answered, nodding.

I shook my head at him, “Dammit Tim… you suck at personal finance.”

“Hey,” he said, “What else am I going to spend it on? All you need is food and… uh… food.”

“You are ridiculous.”

Cute dialogue. I like Tim's style.

It began to respond, probably to correct me, “Actually, Abra tend to sleep…”

I slammed the device shut and shoved it my pocket. “When I want specifics, I’ll ask for them.”

You told him, Keith. And you made me laugh.

My dreams were full of mysterious, tailed, creatures that surrounded me, whispering to me. I must not tell anyone. I must not tell anyone. Fear.

I liked this bit and wish you had expanded on it.

Exhaustion and blood loss tugged at his consciousness, but he refused to give in.

A good description of a poor, disheveled man.

Only when several good Samaritans carried him and his Pokémon to their respective medical centers did he finally allow himself to lapse into unconsciousness.

Oh, cool, another person who separates Pokemon Center and human hospitals in their fics.

Nolan rolled his eyes. “No, a Sandshrew and the four Zigzagoon I caught on my way to Petalburg. Yes, the normal crew.”

Damnit, I thought he was serious at first!

The professor laughed heartily. “Alrighty then, just let me get ‘em rounded up.” He disappeared off screen for a minute, in which Nolan heard him yell “OY! NOLAN’S BOYS! YER TRAINER WANTS YA!”[/quote

Somehow your Professor Birch voice is hilariously appropriate.

“Y’know, any trainer but yourself would say a few months was enough t’ completely bond with a Pokémon.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Nolan replied as the fifth ball dropped into the basket, “a year at least, probably more. Anyway, I’m set here. See you around, Professor.”

“You’re one of a kind m’boy, one of kind. Keep out of trouble.” With that he signed off.

I like this bit of personality you give to Nolan here.

I walked over to him, ‘All right dude I’m ready, prepare to have your ass handed to you by a pretty purple butterfly.”

That's the spirit, Keith!

Up ahead, the gatehouse loomed. Saffron City was fenced off, it always had been. I wasn’t sure why but that’s just the way it worked. We pushed open the doors of the small building and proceeded through.

I'd expect a psychical barrier rather than... a fence.

Of course, there was a good chance that they wouldn’t. It was hard to make a generalization of what the world was really like.

Ah, Keith admits his naivety. I like it.

In her words: “Most of the time, your question has already been answered, you may have noticed had you been paying more attention.” Being unobservant seemed a crime that I was constantly reprimanded for.

Heh, you're portraying Sabrina pretty well. I like this bit here. I'm not observant either and she would probably kill me for it.

“I don’t think they have,” agreed Sabrina, “I would head into Silph HQ myself and sort this all out but I would be alone. If I didn’t make it out, no one would be able to provide refuge to rogue trainers in the area.”

I've always wondered how Team Rocket managed to take over a city belonging to the strongest psychic-type trainer in the region...

“Rather than going to the Pokémon league, she recruited some psychic trainers in the area and started up her own unofficial gym. It got a lot of attention, and when its fame finally outgrew that of the Dojo next door, the Pokémon League said enough. The Dojo was discredited and Sabrina became the region’s most powerful gym leader.”

I quite like this take on how Sabrina became a gym leader. I only wonder how/why the League allowed her to build an unofficial gym in the first place. Doesn't seem like a kind of thing that would be allowed.

“Confusion,” I said calmly, not having developed hand signs for Psyke quite yet.

Strange - I would think hand signals for Psyke would come first.

He looked up into her goggled eyes. “I love you.”

The dragon crowed soothingly and nuzzled his forehead.

“Flaah….”

I could cry and die happy. ;_; Nah, but how often do you hear a trainer say this? Pretty much never. Too much romantic connotation around the phrase, I fear.

The feeling of putting one’s mind into another’s body was indescribable. The world itself looked different, the colors, the proportions, everything. Smells and sounds changed. Even though it was still my mind, it became infested instantaneously with the basic wants and needs of a Wartortle’s body. I had become a different being entirely for an instant.

A nice description. I wonder if you could pull off an interesting human-turned-pokemon plot with this.

Vermillion City, “the Port of Exquisite Sunsets,” or so proclaimed the sign on the wall of the first building we passed. It was certainly a smaller town than Saffron, but much more active. Currently, however, the sun was high in the sky.

The salty smell of sea air and the cool breeze in my face reminded me of Pallet Town. I closed my eyes and smiled at the nostalgia as we walked down the cobblestone streets.

I'd find a way to combine these two descriptor paragraphs. The first one is a mess and the second is nicer and gives the first one more potential.

“Beat me?” said Surge, as loud as ever, “It was a fluke! Just because I lost doesn’t mean you beat me. HA! As if!”

I don't know if I can buy a gym leader being this abrasive, but it's an interesting take on Lt. Surge nonetheless. I'd tone down the insults, but keep the same tone overall.

About an hour later, Tim and I stood at the docks. The “gym” consisted of only a battlefield.

The battlefield was a part of the docks, a rectangular, wooden raft. About three feet of open water separated it from the pier on all sides. It was the smallest field I had been on, but left enough room in the middle for battling.

A small water arena is appropriate for an electric-type gym, I'd say.

Had this guy really been in the army? He knew nothing about keeping strategy a secret.

Would have liked to see Keith say -this- to Lt. Surge's face.

Shoving people out of the way, he cleared a path. I could see his Voltorb floating bottom up in the water, bobbing in the waves like a fishing lure.

I lol'd. Nice use of Voltorb's appearance. This is the disadvantage of such a battlefield, I suppose.

Even during the day, the town had a lingering… feeling. I couldn’t describe it well, like sadness but with stale sort of resignation.

Beautiful description.

There’s nothing like a good wink to make a situation awkward for somebody.

People who can wink properly are so goddamn hilarious.

For whatever reason, Tim had always been really good at predicting the weather. It was one of those odd talents that people sometimes have, like psychic powers. I smiled slightly.

Maybe Tim has some talent himself!

“No…” I dropped to my knees, finally succumbing to my pain and weakness. “This can’t be happening…” I fell onto my side. “This must be a dream…” Time flew by. Mr. Fuji ran out of the Tower, blood streaming from a cut on his forehead and carrying Tim’s bleeding Raticate over his shoulders. I hadn’t seen at all what he had been doing during our rescue. Tim was at his side, holding the Cubone and sporting a black eye and bloody nose. All of our Pokémon were behind them. I blinked, and I was being loaded onto a stretcher. I blinked again and I was in a clean white room, in a bed. I slept, and I dreamt of my very first Pokémon.

I quite like the parallels you did with Criss' battle against Team Rocket and Keith's. Keith is obviously more confident, but he's almost too confident. I was expecting it to end badly, and so it did... Maybe his ego will go down a notch or two after this.

On top was the fabric piece that I had pinned my three badges on. It was then that I noticed the Cascade Badge had been broken. It was cracked into two pieces held together only by the metal backing of the pin. The Cascade Badge… I thought back to my battle with Misty. I thought back to Rainer’s amazing victory, so soon after his evolution. Tears filled my eyes as the events in the Tower came into my mind and pulled me back to reality.

Oh, noo. This was a clever and heartbreaking way to remind Keith of losing Rainer.

Sure, Locustod was a troublemaker, but it hardly deserved to be ignored. With a heavy sigh I clipped the ball to my belt, next to its companions, and finally put my shirt on.

But I haven't seen any instances yet that show Locustod is a troublemaker... The butterfree is used a lot less often, though, I'll give you that.

Tim’s baby Cubone instead attacked the people, beating its bone club against the shins of the Rockets.

Ain't that the cutest thing I've ever heard of.

“Well, it screwed me over pretty badly before I caught it in Viridian Forest. It is pretty powerful but I guess I just haven’t gotten rid of that first impression. Plus, that damn chittering gets really annoying.” Even to my own ears, this sounded like a hurried rationalization.

Nevermind, this probably happened in chapter 1 (which I read a long, long time ago). Anyway, I'm kind of interested to see how you'll develop a trainer's hatred toward their own pokemon. I can't say I've ever seen the topic explored before (at least, not with a non-abusive trainer like Keith).

“What did you see?” I asked again.

Baron stopped its clearly failed attempts at getting its message across and just gestured for me to follow with its wing before flapping off into the foliage.

Why doesn't he just use psychic powers to read Baron's memories?

I didn’t have any special powers, nor did I give them anything they otherwise wouldn’t have. So why be attached to a trainer? In Baron’s eyes I saw the answer to that question. I saw trust. I saw a plea for help. I saw a firm belief that no matter what, I would be able to fix the situation, solve any problem.

EXCEPT HE HAS PSYCHIC POWERS.

I know what you mean, though. And this is a great insight into both Baron and Keith's character.

And just like that, Baron began to evolve. It may have been premature. It may have been forced.

I like this take on evolution and have used it myself. What makes it more awesome is the character development and the situation's tension surrounding the evolution. Nice job.

Needless to say, I attracted some attention. A sweaty, dirty, shirtless kid trailed by a troupe of Growlithe tends to do that.

I like your sense of humor, Keith. I wish we saw it in his narration more.

“Hardly, that’s nothing. You know about that fiasco in Pokémon Tower a few days ago?”

The officer squinted at me suspiciously and nodded.

“That was me.”

Oh boy. There's that ego of his again.

It wasn’t until about ten minutes later, after I had drank a few liters of water and the nurse had laid me down with a cold, wet cloth on my forehead that I finally had time to rest.

I certainly don't think he could have/should have drank more than ~2 liters of water in 10 minutes.

Proudly walking back to the center with my new Growlithe prancing by my side, I reflected on the rest of my team. A sudden and sad thought struck me. If I still had Rainer I would have the basic trio of electric, water, and fire all represented. As it was, I didn’t even really have a powerhouse. Rainer had always been my fallback, my unbeatable, invincible companion. I needed another one of those. My mind wandered back to the tombstone in Pokémon tower. Dragonair… a dragon type… the dragon type, but better yet, its evolution…

I'm not sure if I like Keith giving up on Rainer and trying to replace him so quickly. On one hand, I don't see starters taken away that often, but on the other, Keith's not grieving over it as well as he probably should be. Everyone grieves differently, but this makes him seem a bit heartless, and I'm not sure if that's your intention.

He sat at a table outside a small fast- food restaurant, the only one in the city that let its customers have their Pokémon outside of their Poké Balls while on the premises

Ah, nice bit of worldbuilding there.

“Heal pulse, right. I keep forgetting you know how to do that.”

This really makes the "amateur mistakes" thing look like an understatement. How do you forget something like this in his line of work?

Nolan smiled slightly, he would even bear situations as awkward as this for his Pokémon. Life always found new ways to test his devotion.

Nice line to end the chapter with.

My Pokémon stumbled and Erika jumped at the opportunity for a mega drain (and I mean literally jumped, those were some aggressive “hand signs”).

Ah, I love Keith's sense of humor when it comes out.

Celadon Department Store. More than just a PokéMart, this place was heaven for the consumer-minded trainer

All trainers should be consumer-minded!

The downpour had drowned me and Tim’s plans to explore, so we had to make do with perusing the largest store in Kanto.

A dramatic choice of words there, eh Keith?

“And what did you do with the money from Mt. Moon? It’s not like I’m going to be spending it anywhere else.”

I think there's a bit of a sad undertone to this bit of dialogue. Lke Rocket hunting is Criss' life and nothing else.

This seemed to cheer the little steel ball up a bit, or at least invigorate it. Now that I had a Pokémon that hated Team Rocket as much as I did, I would be unstoppable.

From this scene I see Keith as a caring but neglectful trainer. I also sense some delusions of grandeur. One pokemon, one he barely uses, who hates Team Rocket isn't going to make you invincible - sorry, Keith.

The nice humans are back to explore more of my home. I bark happily at the sight of them and dash off into a room they haven’t seen yet. I hope they follow. They usually do. Sure enough, they come in right after me.

Aww, Growlithe has a nice distinctive and cute voice already. I like it.

Something bad is going to happen.

A nice human rushes after them and tries to open the door. “It’s locked,” he says.

Something very bad is going to happen.

“What do we do?” says another.

I need to run.

I really like the tension you have set up. Poor Growlithe...

I had just witnessed the final moments of my own father’s life.

Oh, no. This is sure to make Keith more determined to fiht Team Rocket, which may or may not backfire. Sigh...

“Hmm…. I was under the impression that you killed every Rocket you met rather than getting to know them.”

Criss smiled, flattered, in a strange way. “It’s called recon, genius.”

Their interactions are priceless sometimes.

“Tesla turned him into a pile of ashes.” My new Magneton came forward out of the shadows.

I kinda wish Tesla had left him alive. They might have gotten information about where Rainer is. Does Keith want to find him or not? Or is he just too stupid to see opportunities when they're there?

Tim looked at it, “Oh, that’s… that’s a people-whacker. For whacking people.”

I whacked him on the arm.

“Ow!”

“It works, I guess.” I said.

Oh, Tim. You're so clueless. :C

I think she even made a joke once that didn’t have any sarcasm at all.

I didn't know this was possible. ;P

As we continued walking, I glanced sidelong at Criss. For any other person, that little snippet about her childhood wouldn’t have been anything really special. But for Criss, it was different. She never shared anything about herself. What was changing?

I like what you're doing with Criss' development, but perhaps it's too soon. She hasn't been around all that often, after all.

Every fifteen minutes or so we would pass Psyke meditating under a tree. A single white eye would open to observe us as we passed, then the psychic-type would teleport another mile down the road.

Lazy as hell but still cute kadabra.

Indeed, if you listened, you could faintly hear the crashing of waves in the surf to the south. Fuschia City seemed so similar to Pallet Town, although the zoo and Safari Zone attracted enough tourists to make the city much more popular.

"Indeed" doesn't fit in with Keith's narration style.

I kind of like the way you compare the current city he's in to other cities he's been to. It's interesting if it's for nostalgic reasons, but usually you just say "it's bigger than Pallet!" and move on. I'd add more to it - it has potential, certainly.

As the doorbell faded away, I only then noticed the wind-chimes. A veritable orchestra of the things tinkled away in exquisite harmony. Their random melody was peaceful and soothing, in a way. I smiled and breathed in deeply.

Seems like Keith's getting more poetic and in-tune with his surroundings. Wonder what's up with that?

“It’s a Gyarados! It’s FUCKING HUGE!” she screamed.

Damn, even Criss is freaking out. Makes Tim's victory all the more sweeter, I guess.

Now, Criss sat patiently on an ornamental bench behind him with Flareon on her lap.

Doesn't Flareon's skin burn her?

It was clear that he had actually been a little jealous when Tim had shown off Gyarados, and was eager to keep par with his friend.

You're doing a good job giving Tim the screentime he needed.

Golbat was almost undoubtedly stronger, but it had to have a weakness.

Wouldn't Tim already have some idea as to what Golbat's weakness is?

It was a risk, that much was sure. Tim had done his research, though. He had listened to what Keith had told him about battling back in Cerulean City, all those months ago. Keith must have told Koga about Tim’s new Gyarados, prompting the gym leader to find a strategy that could easily counter it. That strategy came in the form of a TM for thunderbolt. All of the records showed that Weezing had never used a move like that in battle before, so it must be new. Tim was banking heavily on that inexperience. If Gyarados could move fast enough, it would be able to dodge the poorly aimed attacks. But if a single one hit, Koga was right, this was over.

Backstory surrounding a gym battle? I'm surprised.

“Damn,” said Tim, “Koga’s cooler than I thought. He wasn’t that great of a trainer, especially compared to Erika, but he’s got some other skills.”

Damnit Tim, don't diss the gym leaders!

I was getting emotional, which was odd. I gestured to the trees around us. “This is where you belong, Loc… Butterfree. Not in my backpack gathering dust. You deserve to be free.”

But... why leave Locustod in a place that was just attached by poachers? Not the smartest of ideas, but I liked the emotional scene overall, even if it was a bit melodramatic.

I’m not sure why they were called “islands.” It was really only a bunch of scattered sandbars and one giant mountain of an island. It was the tallest mountain in the region, beating even Cinnabar’s volcano. The peak was so high up that it punched right through the clouds, although the snow line was still visible. Scientists loved the place, as it was such a diverse ecosystem, from the ocean to a snowy peak with a pseudo-tropical jungle in between. I looked at my feet. Dad had gone there tons of times.

I was wondering what the importance of this paragraph would be until - BAM! The last sentence killed me.

“I’m going to go find a newspaper,’ she said.

I looked at her, confused. “For what?”

She mirrored my look of confusion. “For… the news.” Raising an eyebrow, she left.

They haven't learned to -not- question her yet, have they?

Tim looked at the badges, then up at her. “You were a journeying trainer too?”

She laughed. “Hell yeah. It’s a narrow and dangerous path, but it leads straight to the top.”

“So you’re from Johto then?” I asked. “Did you challenge the League?”

“I never challenge the League.”

“Why not?” Tim persisted.

“Because I would have won.” She winked at me. “And the Champion’s life isn’t the life for me.”

Urghhh, I love this little bit of conversation. ;o;

“A tournament.” I explained. “The final four take home the Earth Badge, and the winner gets a prize. I went with my brother two years ago where the winner got a Pokédex that had detailed information on not just the regional Pokémon every Pokémon ever! I heard this year’s was going to be a Master Ball.” A slight glow grew in my belly at this thought. “But I’ve already got one of those.” I pompously put my hands behind my head again.

I like this little take on how people can earn Earth Badges other than by battling Blue or getting Giovanni out of hiding.

Why hadn’t I just stayed on the ground and relayed my commands psychically to Baron through Psyke?

My thoughts exactly. You suck, Keith.

“You… your name escapes me, but surely you are the brave soul who tried to beat that rogue Aerodactyl on your Pidgeot.”

I nodded and looked at my shoes, muttering about what a poor decision it had been.

You've done good things with Tim. It really goes to show the difference between them, here.

I smiled too, his enthusiasm was infectious. “We’ll be unstoppable.” I had been looking forward to using Kabuto in battle for the first time as well as giving Dratini some experience, but it didn’t really matter that much. Kabuto’s battle probably would have ended in disaster anyway.

Looks like Keith hasn't learned his lesson about having faith in his pokemon.

I closed my eyes and mentally prepared to enter battle mode before realizing something. I wouldn’t be able to use my psychic abilities. Although it was no good if Blaine knew what my attacks were upon me calling them out, it was even worse if Tim didn’t know my strategy. It looked like I would have to take this one like a regular person. Nothing wrong with that.

I didn't even think about this. Should be interesting.

I doubted Baron would ever have forgiven me if I had blown chunks all over its beautiful head-feathers.

The image was gross, but funny. Sorry, Baron.

Without really thinking, I let my muscle memory carry us off towards the main plaza.

I don't think muscle memory is what you're looking for. Declarative memory, maybe.

Tim didn’t respond. That’s what I liked about him: he talked a lot when there were silences to be filled, but he also had the invaluable skill of knowing just when to shut up. There was really nothing to say in this situation.

I want Tim as my friend now. ;o;

Flying felt so good. The air was where I belonged, whipping along at blazing high speeds above the plains of Pallet Town. I had noticed on the flight over, however, that things would often get in my eye and the air was thin at high altitudes. I would have to look into that.

Obviously Keith should have been a flying-type trainer.

I was practically tearing my hair out in frustration. Why wasn’t this damn Pokémon listening to me?

I really, really love how you portray Keith as half-fucking-jerk, and half-awesome-person.

Pretty good… I decided to stop stressing about it.

*****

Fuck statistics.

SAW THAT COMING FROM A MILE AWAY, KEITH

“Second place,” Tim said, “by a single point. Only because I hesitated before finishing off my last one.”

“First,” said Criss, emotionlessly. “Because I didn’t.”

Made me lol. I always like the three of them interacting.

I raised Baron’s Poké Ball and recalled it. It… it? Why did I think about Baron as an it? It was more courageous than any human I had met, more devoted than any friend. He deserved my respect. My utmost respect and nothing less. The Pidgeot was a true fighter. For me, he would battle until he died, but that didn’t mean that he was fit to fight. It struck me then that all of my Pokémon deserved the same respect. Were they not my friends? Criss treated her Pokémon like servants, but I liked to think of myself as better than that.

Oh, hell. This is perfect. Did you have this planned the whole time? If not, nice remedy. If so, I love you.

“It looks like you need stitches. It’ll scar pretty badly if you don’t.”

“Good,” she said stoically. “I’ve gone too long without any scars to remind me of my mistakes.”

Best (and worst) line I've ever heard Criss say.

It was a feat to be proud of, and if his “raid” had been officially condoned, he probably would have been received with trumpets and fanfare in the city, like a returning war hero. But as always, he got nothing, not even a heartwarming reunion with his loved ones. He had made sure of that. No… Team Rocket had. They were responsible for all of this.

This is a pretty cliche concept to explore, but you write/explore it well enough.

but she stood stoically, with a slight smile of confidence that didn’t reach her eyes.

Perfect description of Criss.

I immediately connected with Baron, more for companionship than communication. Here we go…

I haven't seen Keith use his psychic powers for this before. He must be scared/desperate.

It was like he knew not something, but everything that you didn’t.

That's one way to make him look intimidating. I like it.

“Sir… I think… regardless of whether or not we dispose of Criss, it’s time to retreat.”

This means they're fighting for nothing, doesn't it? Sigh...

“But that’s exactly it! We don’t know why they came to Saffron in the first place,” Anders argued. “If we can catch them by surprise…”

“Excuse me?” Nolan interrupted. “Is there anything productive I could be doing right now? Or should I just head into the heart of the city on my own?” It was difficult to keep the bitterness from his voice. He came here to find Criss, but had no idea where to begin looking.

I'm glad you finally had Nolan and Keith recognize each other and had something productive come out of it. I'm pretty sure Nolan/Keith didn't recognize Keith/Nolan (I forget) last time they should've recognized each other.

“Not a secret entrance,” said Koga. “Or at least, it wasn’t meant to be. When Silph Co. was first founded, it was just a little robotics company in Saffron City. They put in a trap door so that they could easily access the sewer for testing purposes. Running robots in dark, cramped environments where people can’t go was the name of the business. After they made the first Poké Ball though, Silph took off. The old headquarters was leveled and the current tower built on its foundation. The old basement, however, was incorporated into the design.”

Nice bit of detail here. Not sure if this is built off of canon or it's entirely your own, but it works either way for the situation at hand.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” she said. “But I sure as hell know what it is I’m going to do.”

Bold statement there, Criss.

“Huh, you’re probably too tall to know,” he said with a smirk.

I punched him on the arm again.

Adding humor to this chapter was probably the best idea. xD i spoiled myself for rainer showing up so i already know what happens sighhh

I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was impossible… but at the same time, here he was right in front of me.

The Blastoise turned to face me.

“Rainer?”

I got chills, both when I spoiled myself with the chapter's ending and once I actually got to the chapter's ending.

Tim had found us. He was standing just inside the door at the far side of the room next to a golden, mustachioed Alakazam that was pointing a spoon at Reese, who was glaring incredulously at my friend.

I wonder how Kadabra and Haunter evolved. Must have something to do with TR's machines.

The Skyguard captain’s glare seemed to intensify. “You are someone I want dead.”

Fantastic dialogue. :C Consider Reese as an antagonist a success.

I had thought of the beast’s roar as an amalgamation of every Pokémon cry I had ever heard.

I had meant to comment on this the last time you said it, but I was in class and didn't want to type loud. But uh, this was really cool to read.

All minds have a flurry of emotions and thoughts that go every which way, but when connecting to a Pokémon, Sabrina had taught me to sort through it all and look for the one straight line: consciousness. It was what gives minds a purposeful line of thought, and what dissolved when we fell asleep, resulting in dreams. But this Pokémon… this creature… this beast… Project Titan… it was only chaos.

Is this a nice bit of psychology I see? Yes it is. The unconscious/subconscious is definitely -not- something Keith would've wanted to look into for this thing.

“Flygon, give them a sandstorm. A proper one.” Nolan stepped back into the little alcove by the door to keep out of the way.

Flygon gave an eerie howl and began to flap her wings, which started to glow a dull green.

Clever way to block the Skyguard, I must say.

What he was about to do was very, very stupid, but the rage bubbling inside of Nolan stomped out his common sense. Both hands clutching the saddle horn, he looked over his shoulder one more time. Walker and Skarmory were about thirty feet below them. It was a perfect distance; far enough to adjust and close enough that they couldn’t react.

“Alright Flygon, please don’t hate me.” Nolan leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on the back of his Pokémon’s neck.

Oh, no, Nolan. What the fuck are you doing, man?

URGHHHHH Reading that scene made me wish I had thought of it.

Who was I? Why did I exist? Did I exist? What is existing, really?

Could've expanded on the philosophical scene, I think, but then you expand on the psychical hierarchy to kind of make up for it.

 

[AetherX]

Ahh five months. That's more like it. I have actually been working on this chapter since December. Hopefully it's worth the wait, but probably isn't.

This time: Rewards and reflections as everyone realizes that nothing will ever be the same again.

Chapter 45

Walking down the main thoroughfare towards Silph Tower was like walking through a dream. I felt disconnected. Sunlight beat down from above, but I didn’t feel any warmth. Buildings, trees, and people slipped by like shattered fragments of a memory nearly forgotten. It was all fake to me. After the intensity of the fight along this very street the week before, and the struggle to climb the tower, having a regular existence felt out of place. How could this be real compared to all of the pain and the toil and the blood that had been spilt right here? How could these people go about their day to day business after the horrors they had been through? How could the city pretend that everything was okay? There was no more urgency, no more danger. It made me feel out of place. The push and pull of determination and fear was gone, leaving me without motivation to do much of anything.

My actual dreams were more real than this. In them I fought and ran through a thousand variations of our climb up Silph Tower. I would wake up sweating, forced to remind myself that we all made it out alive.

Criss’s warm weight pressed against my side as we walked: my one anchor in reality. She had been released from the hospital that morning, one full week after the Battle of Saffron, as the media was calling it. She had trouble walking, but insisted that we visit Silph as soon as we could. My brother had invited us to stop by whenever Criss got out of the hospital, as apparently Mr. Silph himself was eager to talk to us.

Tim would meet us there. He was off having lunch with Neil and Anna, who had managed to pull through the battle as well and were now helping with the reconstruction. That left me to help Criss hobble out of the hospital.

“You okay?” she asked.

I didn’t respond at first. My befuddled brain had to comprehend that she had indeed spoken. “I… I don’t know,” I eventually said. “I feel weird.”

She nodded. “You don’t quite feel relieved, even though you know you should.”

“Yeah… Yeah, exactly.”

We didn’t say anything for another minute or so.

“Do the dreams stop?” I asked suddenly.

Her grip on my shoulder tightened. “Eventually they’ll fade a bit. But they never really go away.”

“Hmm…”

We walked in silence for several minutes. To get my mind off of everything else, I tried to focus on where we were going. Saffron’s streets were still a maze to me. Silph Tower was a distinct landmark, but as we neared the center of the city, it had become obscured by other skyscrapers.

“Is this even the right way?” I muttered.

Criss pointed at a building about a block down from us. It was Silph Tower. I had never seen it from the outside.

We crossed the busy street and followed a pair of dust covered construction workers inside the black, glass building. The lobby felt different than when we had rested there before climbing the tower. The fountain was bubbling merrily in the center of the room, and the blue marble floors were polished and shiny. It wasn’t nearly as packed as the streets outside, but a constant stream of people went in and out of the now operational elevators, looking busy.

Criss released her grip on my shoulder and plopped down on a bench beside the doors. “Thanks for the gallant escort, but I need a breather.”

“Fair enough, I’ll go see if I can find Spencer.”

I walked over to the reception desk and waited for the receptionist to finish dealing with a fidgety man in a business suit. I looked at the expressions on the faces of the various people bustling in and out. They were taut, stressed, and yet… they looked optimistic. They looked like they were glad to be back to the daily grind after the hellish vacation they had just endured.

I wish I had a daily grind to get back to.

“Can I help you, sir?”

I looked at the blonde receptionist. “Yeah, I’m here to see Spencer Anders.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“Uhh…” Technically Spencer had just said to stop by whenever. “Yeah? I guess?”

The receptionist looked skeptical.

“Keith! Hey!” My brother’s voice called from the front doors. I turned to look.

Spencer looked less rushed than he had the last couple times I had seen him, but was still very well dressed. The perfect image of a professional businessman.

“Hey, Spencer,” I said. “Is this a good time to stop by?”

He strode up to me with a few brisk steps. “Yeah, great timing actually, I just got back from lunch. Let me let Julian know you’re here.” He pulled out a cellphone and began typing a text.

Damn. My brother was on a first name basis with the CEO of Silph Co. He’d said he had been moving up, but this was huge.

“Are Criss and Tim here too?” he asked.

“Criss is resting over there, Tim should be here soon.” I pointed to where Criss now lay stretched out on the metal bench. She had one knee up, while the other leg hung over onto the floor. Her arms were folded across her chest and her eyes were closed. She looked like she was sleeping, but I knew better. I felt a pang of nostalgia.

“How are her injuries?” my brother asked softly.

“Improving.”

“By all rights she should be dead,” Spencer said. “All of you should be dead.”

I looked at him curiously.

“I took what you told me about Project Titan back to one of our new research teams. Their assessment of the wreckage showed the power of the explosion. No human being could have survived that. You could see the explosion from all across the city. It’s a miracle you made it out alive.”

I glanced back at Criss. Flareon, lying under the bench, yawned as it watched people go by. Hearing Spencer say that made me realize just how lucky we were. Or was it luck at all?

The conversation was helping to clear the cobwebs from my mind. I began explaining Tim’s theory about Psyke’s psychic protection, but drifted off as I remembered Spencer’s outburst about finding us. Obviously on the same train of thought, my brother frowned slightly.

“Look, Spence…” I said, simultaneously trying to look him in the eye and avoid his gaze, which ended up with a lot of looking back and forth between his eyes and my feet. “I… I’m sorry. I know charging in to Saffron was rash and I should have told you what we were planning, but it just seemed so important. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“No, you didn’t want me to try to stop you,” Spencer said.

“I uhh… yeah. Yeah, I guess that’s true.” I was mostly looking at my feet at this point.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

I looked back up at him, confused. “What?”

“I’m glad you didn’t tell me, because I would have tried to stop you. But I shouldn’t have. To be honest, I’m proud of you, Keith.”

I looked at him, unsure of what to say until he pulled me into a hug.

“And by the way,” he said after pulling away, “congratulations on eight badges. That’s unbelievable.”

I grinned. “Thanks.” The same surge of confidence that had filled me when Sabrina had awarded us the Marsh Badge flooded into my chest. My newest badge had filled me with more confidence than ever before. In the furthest corner of my mind, I felt small nagging doubt, but I pushed it away.

The League… That was my daily grind. I was filled with a satisfied happiness as I realized I would soon be back to my journey, and going on to greater heights than ever before. Before long Criss would be fit to walk again and we could…

What would we do? Tim had eight badges too. We couldn’t challenge Dave and the Elite Four at the same time. And where was Criss planning to go next? Would she chase after the fleeing Team Rocket? I had no idea what her end goal was as I had no idea of her true motivations. It didn’t matter. Our journey was over now. Soon we would be forced our separate ways.

That thought hit me like a train. For the past year, this journey had been my life. Sure, it was all to get to the League, but I had always felt like that was such a long way off it might as well never happen. Yet here I was. At the end of all of this hard work, I would finally be able to move on. But in the process, how much would I be leaving behind?

I heard Tim’s voice behind me. I turned to see him talking to Criss, helping her to her feet. They joined me and Spencer, Flareon giving every passerby a glare of suspicion.

“How are Neil and Anna?” I asked Tim.

“Well enough,” he said with a sigh. “They’re both volunteering at the field hospital. Anna’s still mourning her Pidgeot.”

Memories of that brief, dark struggle at the edge of the city made the scars on my face twinge with pain.

“Will you at least consider it?” A familiar voice approached us.

“If that’s what it takes to get the council off of my back then absolutely, tell them I’m considering it. But the answer is and always will be no.”

The second speaker was a short man with thin white hair that I recognized as Julian Silph. He was being escorted by David Rose, a face I was glad to see. He grinned when he saw us.

“Dave! What are you doing here?” I gave him a hug.

“What do you think? Champion business,” he replied, giving Tim a hug as well.

David wasn’t what you’d call in shape, but he kept himself well-groomed and well-dressed, which made him look a few years older than he actually was. He had dark, neatly combed hair and broad shoulders.

He took off his glasses and began cleaning them on his white polo shirt, still grinning. “Okay, first things first: what the hell?”

Tim and I laughed. “It’s a long story,” Tim explained. “Take a break from your ‘Champion business’ to come hang with us and we’ll tell you.”

“That’s probably a good idea. I really do hate to interrupt, but I am on a fairly tight schedule,” Mr. Silph interjected. I looked him up and down. He had been through hell, and he looked it. No amount of fresh laundry and hot showers could hide the stress-induced sagging of his face, nor the dark shadows under his eyes. And yet somehow he managed to look friendly underneath it all.

He reached out a hand towards me. I shook it. “My name is Julian Silph, and I am damned glad to meet you properly.”

Tim, Criss, and I all introduced ourselves.

“Come with me, if you will.” Mr. Silph beckoned towards an elevator. When people saw who was heading towards it, they quickly left it empty.

The seven of us and Flareon huddled into the elevator as Mr. Silph pressed a button for one of the higher floors. I leaned against the back wall and watched the display increment floor by floor as we shot upwards.

“Bit faster than the stairs, huh?” Criss said, next to me.

I laughed. “Yeah, a bit.”

“I’ve been agonizing for days over how exactly to say this,” Mr. Silph said suddenly. “Words cannot truly express my gratitude to you. All of you, but particularly you three.” He pointed at Tim, Criss, and I. “You probably didn’t see me, but I was in the room of hostages you and Koga freed in the basement. They were going to execute us. I didn’t know when. I didn’t even have the heart to tell the rest what was coming. Then you showed up and saved us. But you didn’t stop there. You climbed the tower all the way to the very top, facing every horror that Team Rocket threw at you with grim determination.”

None of us said anything.

“You saved my life. You saved my family’s lives. You saved the life of many of my employees. I and my company owe you a debt.”

“We didn’t do it for a reward,” Criss said.

“I know… I know,” Mr. Silph said as the elevator pinged and the doors slid open.

A feminine voice declared, “Pokémon Metamorphosis: Research and Development Lab 5.”

That sounded awfully familiar.

The sight that greeted us as we left the elevator was surreal. This was where we had fought Reese and where Rainer had saved us. Yet if it wasn’t for the big empty space where the garage-like door had been, leading to the room with the cages, I wouldn’t even have recognized it. Everything else had been fixed. The broken window had been repaired, the rows of lab tables rearranged, and the lab equipment replaced. A couple dozen people bustled about, mostly taking inventory from the looks of it.

“I know you weren’t looking for rewards,” Mr. Silph said as he led us on a snaking path through the tables, “but if there is anything at all that we could provide for you, just say the word.”

I thought for a moment. The leading tech company in the world was offering me anything I wanted, and I couldn’t for the life of me think of anything to ask for.

“Oh!” Mr. Silph suddenly exclaimed. “I have just the thing.” He grabbed one of the passing workers. “Stanley, do we have any of those flight kits left?”

The worker scanned his clipboard. “Yeah, we should,” he said.

“Good. Get some out and bring them here as soon as possible.”

The worker nodded and scrambled off.

Before any of us could ask what a flight kit was, Mr. Silph had led us into the cage room. The cages were clean and emptied of their macabre contents. At the far end a group of scientists were combing over what I now realized must have been a containment chamber for Project Titan.

“We built about five of those throughout the tower,” Mr. Silph said, noticing me looking.

“They transported the monster between labs using the teleportation technology we developed,” Spencer said.

“So what was the purpose of this lab?” David asked.

“All of the gear is built for evolution research, but we don’t know for sure what they were doing,” Spencer replied.

“Which is part of the reason I brought you here,” Mr. Silph explained. “Do you know anything about this?” He pointed to one of the larger cages. It was torn and bent.

I smiled. “Yeah, one of my Pokémon was kept in here. He was kidnapped in Lavender ages ago and escaped when we showed up.” My hand went to my belt, where Rainer’s Poké Ball was securely fastened. I ran my thumb over the warm metal.

“Interesting…” Mr. Silph said, stroking his chin. “Would you mind if we ran some tests on him? Just some basic scans, nothing invasive.”

“Uhh… only as long as it’s okay with him.”

“Naturally.”

Without really asking for permission, I plucked the Poké Ball from my belt and released Rainer. I had been so preoccupied with worrying about Criss these past few days that I had largely neglected my Pokémon. I felt bad about it, and was eager to give Rainer a chance to stretch his legs.

The Blastoise’s hulking figure formed slightly hunched. When he realized where he was, Rainer looked around warily. I put a hand on his shell. “It’s okay buddy.”

We were interrupted by the return of the worker from earlier. He was carrying a precarious stack of cardboard boxes that he gingerly set down on the floor in front of us.

Mr. Silph knelt down to open one of the boxes. “We were forced to make these for the Skyguard, so we’re certainly not putting them into production, but there’s no use for these extras.”

For some reason, David shifted uncomfortably.

Mr. Silph explained as he pulled objects out of the box. “These are fully equipped flight kits for flying trainers. Flight goggles, oxygen mask and lightweight tank, and of course an adjustable saddle that should fit almost any Pokémon capable of carrying a rider.”

Tim opened one of the other boxes, pulling out a pair of polarized goggles and slipping them on. “Slick!”

Murderous tendencies aside, the Skyguard were the masters of flying, and I had to say that they had impeccable taste. The equipment was all high quality, and took care of nearly every issue I had ever experienced while flying. I looked forward to saddling up Baron and taking the whole thing for a spin.

Spencer looked at his watch. “I’ve got a meeting to get to, so I’m afraid I’ll have to head out. See you later, Keith.” He nodded goodbye to Mr. Silph and headed off towards the elevators.

“We should probably get out of your hair as well, unless you’ve got any more questions for us,” said Criss.

“No, that’s it actually. Thank you once again. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to stop by.”

Criss and Tim packed up their flight kits and began walking away. David went with them. I hesitated, looking at Rainer and thinking. Mr. Silph was offering me anything…

“You coming?” Tim asked me, stopped a few yards away.

“Uh… I’ll catch up with you guys later,” I said. Tim shrugged and the three of them left.

“Something I can do for you, son?” Silph asked. “Or are you just offering your Blastoise for testing?”

I looked at Rainer. He still seemed a bit skittish, but I could practically feel the weight of the trust behind his big wet eyes when they met mine. “Are you okay with letting them take a look at you?” I asked.

Rainer blinked slowly, then huffed and nodded.

“Excellent,” Mr. Silph said, beckoning a couple scientists over.

“Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you.”

“Of course.”

“When I was climbing the tower I found this device that… well, I guess it gave me some kind of psychic ability that let me connect with one of my Pokémon.”

“God’s sake son, were there any of our secret projects that you didn’t find?”

“I was just wondering if maybe I could use it again.”

Mr. Silph looked me up and down. “Why?”

I popped Psyke’s Ultra Ball from my belt and began turning it over in my hands. The little nagging doubt in the back of my mind nagged just a little bit harder. “I just… I have some stuff I want to say.”

If Mr. Silph didn’t understand what I was talking about, he didn’t show it.

“Anything for you, son.”

*****

Psyke stood where I had told him to stand, leaning against one wall of the roughly circular machine. His arms were crossed in a curiously human fashion, and he looked around at the machine with a bemused expression.

“You ready?” I asked. The question was directed at the technician that Mr. Silph had tasked with getting me set up. She was in an adjacent room, keeping track of readings on the machine, and seemed pretty excited about giving the psychic amplifier a test run.

“I’m all set here. Step onto the center panel when you’re ready,” the technician’s disembodied voice came through an intercom.

Remembering my experience from last time, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped onto the center pressure plate. It sank beneath my weight, activating the psychic amplifier.

The effect was immediate. What was once the blurry swirl of the inside of my eyelids became a cacophony of light and color. A figure in front of me that could only be Psyke blazed like the sun. Just like before, my Alakazam grabbed my attention and helped me focus. A flood of emotions spilled into me as we made a connection, just like I usually did during battles, but this was so much more powerful.

Hello, Psyke. I thought as clearly as I could.

“Welcome, trainer,” came the reply in my head in that weird echo of my own voice.

I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that. Maybe he had just gotten the word wrong.

“No. Welcome. My sight, my mind, my world, my home. Welcome.”

My heart beat faster. I had to suppress a laugh at just how cool this was. This is what it’s like for you all of the time, isn’t it?

“Yes.”

Strings of random words floated to the front of my mind as Psyke attempted to rapidly learn my language. I didn’t resist.

“I wondered if you would take me back here.”

I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to actually talk to one of my Pokémon.

More words. And more… memories, facts, a variety of thoughts and past experiences. Psyke was sorting through my head.

“You would be surprised how many trainers fail to realize just how little they understand the wants and needs of their Pokémon.”

It felt weird to go from Psyke sorting through my mind back to the conversation. It took me a second to readjust. How do you know that? I asked. Do you just see into the minds of everyone nearby?

“It is not that simple. However, many humans and Pokémon… wear their hearts on their sleeves, to use a human expression. They are honest and genuine to themselves and those around them. They are easy to understand in the same way you might call someone ‘easy to read.’ Others wear masks, and are harder to see into.”

What about me?

“You wear a mask so thick it casts a shadow across your mind darker than almost anyone I have ever seen, trainer.”

I wasn’t really sure what that meant. I thought for a moment. Darker than Criss?

“She is remarkably honest with herself, if not entirely honest to others.”

It was kind of amazing how little I cared now about learning that Criss wasn’t being completely honest with me. I knew she was hiding something, but after all we had been through, it almost didn’t matter to me anymore.

So you’re saying I’m not honest with myself?

“No, you are not.”

Ouch. That’s pretty blunt.

“I come from a society that communicates through emotion and intent. The intent of my words is pure, even if they sting you.”

So what am I not honest with myself about?

“I cannot know.”

Ah. The mask.

“Yes.”

A little bit of insecurity began to bubble up inside of me. Something about being psychically connected made me feel particularly honest and bold, so I brought it up to Psyke. If I’m not being honest with myself, how do you know I’m being honest with you? It wasn’t exactly the question I wanted to ask, but I had a hard time finding the words. This wasn’t your average conversation, after all.

“I am not sure what you mean.”

The bit of insecurity swelled as thousands of doubts that I had once had and brushed aside since becoming a trainer clambered aboard. I sighed. You could teleport away right now.

“I could.”

Hell, you could kill me with a thought.

“It would take considerably more than a thought, but yes, in essence.”

So why not?

“Why would I?”

I don’t know… You’re smart. Your intelligence is supposed to vastly surpass that of a human. So why do you and the rest of your kind put up with being controlled by humans?

“I think you overestimate the complexity of our existence, trainer. My species are more Pokémon than human.” Psyke took a moment before continuing. “It is in your title: ‘trainer.’ Do you see?”

No.

“The limits of a language.” He paused again. “It is not a case of being controlled. That is not how we view it. Let me put it this way: there are almost no Kadabra or Alakazam in the wild. The few that are simply are old. They share an existence with the young Abra. I did for some time as well. We sit. We look with this miraculous vision. We observe. That is life to us. No more.

“To other species of Pokémon it is similar. They sleep, they eat, they mate, they play within the confines of their den, they watch out for predators, and eventually they die. That is life to them. No more. But humans… humans differ. Some humans have a similar routine, but word is spread throughout the land about these human ‘trainers’ that leave their dens. They leave not to find food, or to escape predators or a natural disaster. They leave because they want more. They want to grow and improve. They want to better themselves through change and turmoil. That is you. That is a trainer.

“To many Pokémon this is…” he took a second looking for the appropriate word, “…blasphemous. Yes, blasphemous. But to as many Pokémon, this is intriguing. The process that you call evolution is rare in many species in the wild, but we all know that we hold untapped wells of power that only these trainers can help us access. You make us fight each other to help unleash this power, and we enjoy it. You especially, trainer, make us fight the evil humans for reasons more than simply bettering ourselves, and that is an even greater lesson that you have taught us.”

That explains a lot, actually.

“Humans hunger for more. Other creatures are stagnant.”

Some would argue that the other creatures are making the better decision.

“There is certainly an argument to be made, but I know which path I chose and I do not regret it. Nor do any of the rest of our team.”

Hearing those words severed the string attaching the ball of insecurity to my heart, and it floated away. I breathed deeply, feeling fuller now. That means a lot to me.

“It means a lot to us as well, trainer.”

*****

Silph returned Rainer to me personally in the lobby.

“Did he cause any trouble?” I asked as he dropped the Poké Ball into my hand.

“Not at all. Either he trusts you deeply, or the Rockets kept him on a short leash.”

I turned the ball over in my hands. “He killed two of his captors to get to me, so something tells me it’s not the latter.”

Silph smiled and nodded in concession.

“Did you get what you were looking for?” I asked.

“Yes, I think so. We believe that your Blastoise may have been the victim of some kind of forced evolution.”

“Forced evolution? Is that even possible?”

“It’s actually fairly trivial with the technology we have here,” the old man explained, sticking his hands inside his pockets. “There’s just little reason to do it, since premature evolution can stunt a Pokémon’s growth.”

My heart stopped. “So Rainer’s…”

“He appears to be mostly fine, actually. He was close enough to evolution in the first place that any damage done was minimal. He’s in fine fighting shape.”

I let out a sigh of relief. Rainer had been through worse than anyone. I had been worried that he might not want to battle anymore after everything that had happened, but when I asked Psyke, he had assured me that Rainer would be the last Pokémon to give up battling.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Thank you, son. You let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

I said goodbye and stepped out into the street. After spending hours talking to Psyke, I had promised to meet the others for dinner.

The conversation was all that I could think about. I ran my fingers over the Poké Balls on my belt as I put Rainer’s ball back in its place. I wanted to let every one of them out, to look at them and talk to them, even if they couldn’t respond. I wanted to look for signs of what Psyke had told me about each of them. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised at how much I already knew. Flareth’s protectiveness, Tesla’s loyalty, and Baron’s grim determination. I wanted to tell Dragonair how much I appreciated her hard work, even if she wasn’t quite as powerful as the rest of the team. I wanted to tell Rainer how much I had missed him.

It would have to wait. For now, David had gotten us a table at one of the restaurants that had recently reopened as supplies continued to pour into the city. Criss, David, and Tim were waiting out front when I finally found the place.

“Rainer’s tests go okay?” Tim asked.

I nodded, but didn’t explain the real reason I had stayed behind. So much of what we said was so deeply personal I didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with even my closest friends. If they noticed my silence, they didn’t show it.

While we ate the most substantial and tasty meal I’d had since we left Pallet before the tournament, David drilled Tim and me for details on our journey. Criss mostly sat quietly, feeding scraps of her steak to Flareon beneath the table and occasionally interjecting a wry remark. I felt bad for her, given that she was kind of the odd one out here, but David seemed to like her and she was more relaxed than I had ever seen her before.

We attracted more than a few strange looks from people around us. I wasn’t sure if it was because they overheard some of the wild stories that we told, or they just wanted to sneak a glance at the Indigo League Champion. It was so odd to think that David, this kid that I had grown up with, was the number one trainer in Kanto and Johto.

“So Dave,” Tim said after a pause in the conversation, “what were you arguing about with Mr. Silph earlier today?”

David sighed and looked at his plate, pushing the remains of his dinner around with his fork. “Champion business,” he replied. “I’m not really supposed to talk about it.”

“He was trying to convince Silph to take a military contract,” Criss said.

David looked at her, shocked. “How d-?”

“Military contract?” Tim said, puzzled. “We don’t have a military.”

“And how’d that work out?” Criss replied dryly. “My guess is that the Kanto Regional Council is trying to pull one together after this whole fiasco and they sent you,” she pointed at David, “to use your star power to convince Silph to make the most of all the goodies Team Rocket had them make.”

Tactfully, David didn’t respond.

“That actually makes sense,” I said. “It’s not like a lot of the stuff they made would have much commercial value. Might as well make the most of it.”

“That’s what I said!” David said exasperatedly, before catching himself. “I mean… that’s what I would have said if that’s what we were talking about. Which it may or may not have been.”

We all laughed.

David glanced at his watch and groaned. “Well, apparently I have responsibilities now, so unfortunately I have places to go and people to meet.” He pulled out his wallet and left a wad of cash on the table that would more than cover the bill. He stood up and politely shook Criss’s hand. “It was nice to meet you. And I’ll see you two at the League!” He smiled widely at Tim and me before waving goodbye and leaving.

The League… I snuck a sidelong glance at Tim. He was staring resolutely at the ceiling. Criss was paying an undue amount of attention to Flareon. Both were desperately avoiding eye contact.

So that was it then. We all realized it. If the League was really the plan, then we weren’t going to be traveling together for much longer. After all this time we’d finally have to say goodbye for who knew how long.

As if in a natural response, the same cloudy mood that had haunted me while we were walking to Silph Tower shrouded my mind again. I looked at my hands, hardly thinking and hardly feeling. I couldn’t even tell how much time passed before Tim suggested we find a place to spend the night.

*****

I had a hard time sleeping that night. There was just too much on my mind.

The hostel we had found was a tad more comfortable than average, but that wasn’t enough to keep me from waking up about a dozen times throughout the night, worried and thoughtful. Around seven in the morning I was woken by the sounds of a loud group of friends across the hall preparing to leave to catch the morning magnet train to Goldenrod City in Johto.

Rather than stare at the ceiling listening to muffled complaints about how awful Kanto was and how nothing like this would have ever happened in Goldenrod, I got dressed and decided to go for a walk. Tim and Criss were still asleep, Tim snoring lightly and Criss with her face buried in Flareon’s warm mane. I took care not to disturb them.

Once outside on the sidewalk, I popped Flareth’s ball from my belt and let him out. The majestic Arcanine yawned so widely that I probably could have fit my whole head in his mouth. Once finished, he looked at me expectantly. I smiled and ruffled the shaggy fur on his head before setting off down the street.

I had no particular destination in mind as I walked, Flareth trotting idly beside me, but when I found a small park in the southern section of the city, I decided to stop. I picked out a spot beneath a massive oak, a sufficient distance away from the few other people out this early, and let out my team one by one onto the dewy grass.

I watched them as they stretched and looked around. Tesla almost immediately floated over to Rainer, gently bumping into him and buzzing happily. Rainer gave it a friendly pat on its uppermost orb. Dragonair stretched out, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun while Psyke watched me meaningfully. Baron stood on his own, apart from the rest, but with one eye on me.

I sat down and leaned back against the wide trunk of the oak tree. Flareth plopped down beside me and placed his head on my lap, letting out a groan of satisfaction. I closed my eyes as I stroked his fur, thinking about something Psyke had said.

He said I wore I mask. That I lied to myself. But about what? My dad had a saying: “The trouble with lying to yourself is that you eventually start to believe it. And then how do you tell the truth from the lies?” So how was I supposed to tell what I was lying to myself about? Psyke had implied that I was more than guarded. I was fake. But how do you be more real?

I thought about my friends. I cared about them. I felt both protective of them and safe when I was with them. That was real, no doubt about it.

I thought about my Pokémon. I loved and appreciated them deeply, even if I didn’t show it very well. Maybe that was it. I looked at them one by one, my eyes finally resting on Baron as he stood stoic and prepared, as always.

“It’s a starting place at least,” I muttered.

Flareth’s ears perked up.

“Hey,” I said to him, patting him gently. “Go bother Dragonair, I need to get up.”

He looked at me quizzically.

“Go teach her Extreme Speed or something. C’mon.” I stood up, gently pushing his head off of my lap.

Suitably disturbed, Flareth wandered over to Dragonair. I went to Baron and stood beside him. He looked at me and ruffled his feathers expectantly.

I stood in silence for a minute with my hands in my pockets, watching the leaves overheard flutter in the light morning breeze. I thought back to the beginning. How I had gotten here and why. “I’ve never really said thank you,” I finally muttered.

Baron’s head cocked to the side.

“You know,” I continued, “for everything.” So much of my emotional energy was expended at this point, it was hard to get the words out. “Fighting Team Rocket was something I kind of forced you guys into. But not you. You did it on your own, time and time again.”

I thought about Mt. Moon and how Baron had evolved in the middle of the fight. He had probably saved my life by doing so.

I thought about rescuing that police trainer and the pack of Growlithe puppies in the forest near Celadon. I had been ready to flee, to go get someone’s help and not have it be my problem. Again, Baron evolved. Again, he led me to victory.

I thought about the battle against Project Titan. How Baron had delivered the final blow.

I sniffed. “You’re better at all this than I am, to be honest. It’s… inspiring.”

Baron looked at me, brow contorted into an avian look of skepticism.

“Hey, I know I’m bad at this. I’m trying to be grateful. Cut me some slack!” I laughed.

Baron gave a look like a smirk and buffeted me with a wing.

I laughed again. “Yeah, I love you too.”

*****

NEXT: Farewells and a stern talking-to.

Thanks for reading, friends!

 

[Sike Saner]

“I… I’m sorry. I know charging in to Saffron was rash and I should have told you what we were planning, but it just seemed so important. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“No, you didn’t want me to try to stop you,” Spencer said.

“I uhh… yeah. Yeah, I guess that’s true.” I was mostly looking at my feet at this point.

Haha, gotcha.


Baron, you are a darling bird. Also: an entire scene's worth of conversation with one of my favorite pokémon (alakazam, in this case)? Hell yes. Especially wrt the way his vision/perception/whatever one wishes to call it was described. That was cool.

 

[Flaze]

All right, well I'm personally glad to have helped out with the preparations for this chapter.

I myself thought that it was a pretty good chapter even if in itself it was another epilogue chapter to kind of conclude the arc (and I kind of assume the next one will be like that too) but I enjoyed the fact that we got to learn a little more about Keith and how he feels. It's certainly true that his life has changed now that he's dealt with the Rockets and I think that the way you went about showing his growing PTSD was a pretty nice way to develop it, I mean even fi everything goes back to normal that doesn't mean Keith can just forget it easily, plus he's still just a kid, he doesn't have anything to distract himself with.

The scene with Baron was a big cop out though >:c I mean while I was reading it over I thought Keith talking to someone at the end and thought it was Criss cause I caught a glance of the last line >.< but no it was Baron. I mean don't get me wrong, it's still a good scene to have since Baron is basically the MVP in this fic with how much work he's done, but Keitha nd Criss would've been awesome.

Other than that I really am wondering where you'll take this, especially now that it seems like the group will have to split off, I mean we can still focus on Keith going to the League but...he doesn't necissarily have to do it with Criss and Tim.

 

[Beth Pavell]

I gave the chapter a quick read to see what had changed from the beta version. The ending is better this time round. You know how I feel about small scenes like that - and actually, given that Keith is very much a guy when it comes to expressing emotion it's apt.

 

[diamondpearl876]

The push and pull of determination and fear was gone, leaving me without motivation to do much of anything.

I really like the beginning paragraph - a good description of dissociation and the aftermath. I particularly like the quoted part.

Criss released her grip on my shoulder and plopped down on a bench beside the doors. “Thanks for the gallant escort, but I need a breather.”

I was wondering if Criss would comment on having to lean on Keith.

They were taught, stressed, and yet… they looked optimistic.

I believe you meant "taut"

Damn. My brother was on a first name basis with the CEO of Silph Co. He’d said he had been moving up, but this was huge.

Now this is the kind of personality I like to see from Keith

“By all rights she should be dead,” Spencer said. “All of you should be dead.”

Everyone's optmistic except Spencer, it seems

“That’s probably a good idea. I really do hate to interrupt, but I am on a fairly tight schedule,” Mr. Silph interjected. I looked him up and down. He had been through hell, and he looked it. No amount of fresh laundry and hot showers could hide the stress-induced sagging of his face, nor the dark shadows under his eyes. And yet somehow he managed to look friendly underneath it all.

Nice description here, if I do say so myself

“You wear a mask so thick it casts a shadow across your mind darker than almost anyone I have ever seen, trainer.”

Brutally honest much, Psyke? D: Anyway, this conversation, after everything Keith's been through and thought regarding his pokemon, was a perfect addition to the chapter, in my opinion

I sniffed. “You’re better at all this than I am, to be honest. It’s… inspiring.”

Baron looked at me, brow contorted into an avian look of skepticism.

“Hey, I know I’m bad at this. I’m trying to be grateful. Cut me some slack!” I laughed.

Baron gave a look like a smirk and buffeted me with a wing.

I laughed again. “Yeah, I love you too.”

I had already known about the "I love you" bit, but you still managed to break my goddamn heart