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TEEN: Unpredictable

And done with a more-or-less complete second reading. Thoughts are largely unchanged outside of how much better the fic was to read by skipping everything between Mount Moon and Celadon.

So I'm going to skip to the last chapter.

I wouldn't end it here, necessarily, like I previously suggested. Or at least not exactly here. You could definitely cut off before the league and have an epilogue with Keith winning or what not, but you've basically hit the climax of the story since the Rockets loomed over everything at least as much as the quest itself, if not more. Keith still needs to deal with how he wants to handle the future, but I'm not sure that actually having him beat the league in-story would advance that part of his personal quest. Criss, for all of the hints you say are there, is near impossible to figure out even when reading for the explicit purpose of figuring her out. So she could use a revelation. And by the time you've brought their arcs to a close (and maybe Tim's), there wouldn't be much point left to really ending the story. So I would still suggest ending before the league or at least cutting out most of those battles and just skipping to the Champion's match and maybe Keith v. Tim depending upon who wins first, since they've never actually had so much as a sparring match in the entire story.

Onto the chapter itself, I liked how Spencer and Silph's story lines were brought to an effective close to compliment the effective close of Reese and Nolan's a while back. It means half the cast is done, if you wanted it. And the Psyke scene was nice since it was maybe the first time that a trainer had really had a conversation or tried to connect with a Pokemon in a story that was nominally about people who could connect very well to Pokemon. And it also answered the "why haven't Metagross/Alakazam taken over the world?" question very nicely.

Overall, good chapter.
 
So, might as well make a start on post-Awards review. As per the Winter Awards, I won't be simply copy-pasting my judging text in here. Consider this in part beta-reader's thoughts as well.

Right ... well, it's been a while since I last read Unpredictable start-to-finish. Some of my impressions are rather different this time round. I think that a rewrite is definitely what this story needs. And by a rewrite, I mean something more in depth than simply tidying up the style and polishing up the language. I think that all the story written with the kind of language you have now would be a good start nonetheless - I noticed a tendency to try and use "clearly" too much earlier on. I'd scrap the BGM links as well. They're too infrequent to be an integral part of the experience and come across as rather awkward presented as they are.

I wonder if the whole thing wouldn't work better in third-person, though I suspect at this point you'd rather improve Keith's inner monologue rather than rewrite the perspective. The issue really is that first-person is an inherently intimate style of writing. It's much harder to get away with glossing over the viewpoint character since the reader is always in his head.

Therein lies what I consider to be the real problem that needs addressing - Keith's character. It suffers, I think, from your early tendency to view scenes where "nothing" happens as filler. It shows in the plot - Keith's father issues, and his loss of Rainer, tend to manifest themselves just before the action happens that they justify. They feel hollow, and yet those two issues are really the whole basis of the plot. There's plenty of space for this sort of thing (Memories of the father, memories of coming to terms with his death - or not - interaction with Rainer etc), particularly in earlier chapters such as around the Cerulean arc. Call a lot of my thinking here born of a personal peeve of mine - the idea that plot means action and battles and stuff going boom. Plot can also mean two characters sitting at the kitchen table talking about school.

The final thing I want to mention in this breath is the ... how do I put this? The odd way the sport of pokémon training appears. I can accept the idea that pokémon training is an atrophied sport, fair enough. What bothers me (And I'm not completely sure why) is that it seems only the protagonists seem to have any real skill when it comes to battling. Keith, particularly, seems to be unbeatable because he thinks of a basic plan. I couldn't help but wonder why no-one else seems to do this. Or how his point-by-point battle plans always seem to work. "No plan survives contact with the enemy" never seems to apply.

So, that's what comes to mind right now - well, taken from my notes. There's probably more I could say on any one subject but I'm trying not to ramble
 
Dropping my post-Awards review as well.

So I ended up re-reading the whole thing for my judging, which was quite a journey. The recent chapters, were as good as I remember--there's some explosions, the character arcs seem pretty nicely-planned, Rainer!!!, and the general level of badassery that I'd expect in an edgy blockbuster. It was nice seeing all of the stories coming together, and watching your massive cast unite against the overwhelming evil was solid. This may have been one of the most competent police forces I've seen in a Pokemon fanfic, lol.

The first, like, thirty chapters, though. I know that you're planning a rewrite, and I think that would definitely help. I know you've probably heard this a bunch, but the drowning factor to the early chapters is Keith (for me, at least). It's not that he doesn't have the elements of a good character. It's just that he doesn't really care about, well, anything. He tells us a bunch that he's angry, or that he's hurting, or that he's sad, but it doesn't really come across that clearly. This blandness arose in part because there is no true down-time to the fic--your author's comments openly address some parts of the story as "training montages," which kinda bothered me. In short, it erased all of the things that would've been really, really cool and useful to understanding the plot--and, most ipmortnatly, Keith's character. How do psychic powers work? Idk, we kinda skimmed over Sabrina. Or, how does Keith feel about the fact that he has the potential to become a psychic pseudo-demigod? That got skipped over too. The early chapters felt like a constant train running between battle/capture/Rocket/evolution, rinse and repeat, and the characters really suffered.

Also, yeah, when your viewpoint character literally throws people at bullets and only feels a paragraph's worth of thoughts about it, it makes him look like a sociopath.

The second thing would probably be helped as you revisit Keith, but his interactions with other characters are either non-existent or very shallow. We know that he starts off with a strange fascination with Criss, and at some point that evolves into a friendship, but the middle ground doesn't really cut it for me. It felt a little like you montaged friendships. "And then Rainer and I became best-buddies" or something. So, when we start actually losing characters, the stakes don't really feel there--we hardly knew Rainer, and Keith didn't really seem too attached until after he was gone. And even that grief was quickly shelved in favor of finding the next shiny gym badge.

I didn't consider this before reading Pav's review, but I do question why Criss, Keith, and Tim are the absolute only people available to help storm Saffron/combat Project Titan. The battle seems to go on for a fair amount of time, and the police are clearly in the area, but okay. I also didn't understand why Team Rocket, fearsome as they are, faced so little evolution from a police force that actually seems quite adequate--these are people that, in one chapter, literally kick puppies. They murder the shit out of people, and their boss is a legitimate threat (which is great, by the way. I loved the mafia-esque mixed with mad scientists) to anyone who gets in his way. Perhaps I missed something, but 1) why haven't they faced anyone stronger than a few vigilantes and a boy from Pallet Town and 2) where are the police, and also 3) if they murder so many people, surely there are more Keith's in the world. Long sentence there. Sorry.

As it stands, your story gets better. A lot better. The beginning is starting to collapse, but if you can bring those chapters up to par (and that's sooooo much easier said than done D:), you'll have a true epic.
 
Hmm... well here it goes. I read chapter one and two, with all it's length greatness.

Characters
The character are like able and I will most likely keep reading. Although I don't see much depth to anyone but Criss, Although I think that's fixed later on, adding layer upon layer.

story
The story is great, and it has a lot of action so far. I hope it can keep the pace, or just match it continuing to read.

Mechanics
I saw no Errors to bother you over, I mean there are a few things, but they're just my own view.

Overall I liked the story, and as I said I will keep reading. Oh yeah and everyone is way too violent, I like that.

I'm sorry it's my first review so it might be a bit crappy.
 
Chapter 46 - Farewells
Hey, only three months this time. I really appreciate all of your reviews. I'm taking all of your criticism very seriously when it comes to planning and rewriting. It's helping a ton. I'm really looking forward to seeing the final product with everything all touched up. On that note, expect a Chapter 3 rewrite before long.

This is a really important chapter, which is the main reason I took so long on it. Hope you all enjoy.

This time: Criss struggles to get over it, Keith struggles to get around it, and a lot of dialogue ensues.

Chapter 46

I sighed in nostalgia as I looked at my belongings spread out over the bunk bed. Before returning to the hostel, I had met up with Spencer to finally retrieve my stuff that he had pulled from the wreckage. The backpack Mom had given me only a few weeks before had been shredded in the blast, but Silph was nice enough to provide me with a new one that included a special compartment for the oxygen canister that came with the flight kit he had given us.

Tim was squeezing in a few more minutes of sleep on the bunk above mine, while Criss sat on her bed across from ours, leaning back against the wall. Flareon was curled in her lap, content.

I began packing the salvageable supplies and clothes into my new pack. I picked up Gideon’s Poké Ball and rolled it around in my hands a few times. It didn’t seem fair, but someone had to be left behind. I slipped it into a side pocket.

“That Gideon’s?” Criss said from behind me. Her voice was still slightly raspy and weak, but she was improving.

“Yeah.” I kept packing.

“It’s a good choice. He’s too much of a wild card.”

“He’s still a Pokémon.”

“It’s for the better. He almost died disobeying you against Titan.”

I almost snapped at her, but her tone was not chastising. She was just trying to comfort me. I gathered up a bunch of ratty socks, old food packets, and other rubbish that had been in my old pack and dumped it in the little metal trash bin beside the door. The last item on my bed was the now worn and tattered bit of fabric with my badges pinned to it. It had once been white, but was now more of a gray-brown. I held it up and looked at it, all eight badges aligned in a rough rectangle. I sat down on the floor next to my pack, leaning back against the bedframe, and ran my fingers over the bits of metal.

This was it. The culmination of nearly a year of effort after many more years of dreaming and hoping. My eight tickets to the Pokémon League. Part of me was nearly giddy with excitement, but another part was torn. I decided to get it over with.

“So what’s your plan?” I choked out. I hadn’t meant to sound like I was on the verge of tears, but that’s the way it ended up.

“What do you mean?” Criss responded, scooting forward to the edge of her bed so that she could see me better. Flareon grunted at being disturbed.

I took a deep breath. “You know. What’s next? For you?” I actually managed to keep my voice steady this time. Like hell I was going to break down like a little girl at this point.

I heard bedsprings creak above me and knew Tim was wide awake and listening in.

I looked up at Criss. She was frowning down at Flareon, softly petting. “I… I’m not sure,” she said quietly. “What about you?”

I straightened my legs out so that I could tuck the fabric with my badges into my belt, and then crossed my arms. “The League, I suppose. Why? Think I can’t do it?”

She laughed lightly and readjusted Flareon on her lap. Her leg touched mine, and she didn’t move it away. It was warm. “It doesn’t matter what I think. You just need to be confident in yourself.”

“Nice cop-out answer, Criss,” I said, grinning. “If you think I’m awful, just say it.”

She laughed again. “I think you’ll do great.”

“What about you, Tim?” I called to my friend.

“I think you’re awful,” he responded.

We all laughed. “No I mean, what’s next for you?” I said, still smiling.

I heard him let out a long, loud sigh. “I dunno. I’m with Criss. I have no idea.”

“No League yet?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “One of us has to take it first. Might as well be you.”

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “Might as well.”

We were quiet for almost a full minute. “So this is it, then?” Criss said. “Our merry band is finally going our separate ways?”

I looked up at her. My ego was still staunchly fighting against getting emotional, so I went with humor. “What, don’t tell me you’re going to miss us?”

“This may be hard to believe,” Criss said with a wry smile, “but I do consider you guys my friends.”

“Just looking for the reassurance,” I said. “I knew there had to be some reason you kept us around.”

“No,” Criss said. “I just hang out with you guys because of Tim’s good looks and charm.”

Tim eagerly stuck his head over the edge of the bunk. “Really?”

That made Criss laugh hard enough to hurt herself. She doubled over, grabbing her still healing ribcage and giggling.

Giggling.

Who was this person? Certainly not the girl that I had found pretending to sleep on that bench on Route 3. I almost said something, but decided against it. No reason to kill the mood.

*****

The three of us had decided to spend one last day together before going our separate ways the following morning. It only seemed right. Go out into the woods along Route 6 and make camp somewhere. We could have stayed in the city, sure, but that just wasn’t the same. Traveling had brought us together, and spending our last night anywhere but around a campfire wouldn’t feel right..

Until then, we spent most of the day wandering around Saffron, poking into various shops and picking up some new supplies. Nobody said it out loud, but we also tried to avoid any parts of the city heavily affected by the battle. That was surprisingly hard. Construction vehicles clogged the streets, many of which were blocked off for repairs or demolition. I counted at least a dozen tower cranes that must have been erected some time while we were in the hospital.

Once again I noticed how pleased the citizens of Saffron were doing something, anything besides sitting and waiting in fear. Regardless of how terrible the events were that led up to this, the act of rebuilding was an act of hope. It was an act of moving on.

Despite how sad the concept of our journey ending was, I found it thankfully easy to temporarily forget and dwell in the moment. That was my own moving on. I was sure I’d be sad later, but that wasn’t what mattered now.

After we had whiled away most of the day, we met Spencer for an early dinner in a small, quiet diner. My brother’s workload had been stacking up considerably, and he’d have to leave for Unova on a business trip in a few days. He wanted to meet up to say goodbye and wish me luck.

Spencer leaned back and looked up at the ceiling once he finished his steak. “Something I’ve been meaning to bring up with you guys…”

Criss, Tim, and I looked at him curiously.

“The media’s been making a pretty big deal about how much individual vigilante trainers helped during both the occupation and retaking. There are rumors that some trainers were fighting in Silph Tower well before the police showed up, but we’ve avoided making any public comment on it. I figured I should ask: do you want to be made public? It would be a pretty big deal.”

I sighed and swirled the ice around in my otherwise empty glass. Fame and fortune were honestly pretty low on my list of priorities right now. Sure, I wanted to be recognized as a good trainer, but it felt disingenuous to be recognized as some kind of war hero. It’s not like I charged into Silph Tower to save lives in the name of freedom and democracy. I was just channeling my rage, doing what I thought was right, and mostly making it up as I went along.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d prefer it if my name got as little publicity as possible,” Criss said.

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s not something I really want to deal with right now. Maybe ever.”

Tim groaned. “Well now I’d be the asshole if I said I wanted the attention. Leave me out of it too, I guess.” He didn’t really seem to be that disappointed.

“Hey, being the mysterious behind-the-scenes hero is pretty sexy too, right?” I assured him. “Nothing wrong with people whispering about how awesome you might be behind your back.”

Tim laughed. “I guess you’re right.”

“Very well,” Spencer said. “Although you’re more right than you think, Keith. As with most rumors based in fact, it’s likely to get out eventually, but I’ll do my best to keep it a rumor.”

A few minutes later, with the sun only a couple hours away from setting, we decided to head out. We said our final goodbyes to Spencer, gathered our packs, and left through the city’s southern gate. We didn’t really talk as we followed a simple dirt trail a couple miles south and found a perfect spot in an open meadow. The towering firs blocked the city from sight. It felt completely isolated. Beautifully lonely.

I eased my pack down into the grass and watched Criss and Flareon get a fire going in a dirt patch in the middle of the meadow. As the sun dipped low, a cool breeze brought that refreshing spring smell. Fortunately it seemed like it would be warm enough to sleep out under the stars, or at least what stars we would be able to see this close to the bright lights of Saffron.

I plucked my Poké Balls from my belt and let out my entire team. Criss and Tim did likewise, with the exception of Gyarados, who was a bit too big for the clearing. They hissed and chirped and chattered and growled, socializing with one another. Flareth was kind enough to provide a perfect backrest. Dragonair rested curled gently around Flareth and I, enjoying Flareth’s body heat.

I leaned back against Flareth’s warm side and watched Criss’s interactions with her Pokémon. I knew it wasn’t any of my business, but I couldn’t help being concerned about how unconcerned she seemed to be by the death of Arbok. I had never seen her act in a personal way with any of her Pokémon besides Flareon. I had even talked briefly with Psyke about it during our conversation.

Psyke had explained that Criss’s Pokémon seemed to have a very different relationship with her than most Pokémon did with their trainers. They saw her as the alpha. She was the pack leader. She established her dominance early on, and they did not question it. They didn’t quite understand what Criss was doing most of the time, but they fought for her because it was not their place to doubt her orders. As long as she was strong, she was in charge. She kept the pack united and powerful.

I could see it, now that I was looking. Nidoking and Nidoqueen sat looking at each other somberly. Omastar curled up in its shell. Even the normally antsy Aerodactyl was quiet. They mourned Arbok. They were saddened by the fallen member of their pack, even if Criss wasn’t.

Criss sat down beside the fire with Flareon, talking with Tim about the best ways to use poison effects to your advantage in a battle. Not for the first time, I wondered how tough she really was, and how much of it was a front. I’d never seen anything that would make me doubt her resolve. Except that one night in Fuschia, when she had told me about killing that Rocket Executive and leaving the wounded boy. How many more stories like that was she hiding? Did it even matter? Did I even really care? At this point, I wasn’t sure.

I looked around at our Pokémon scattered throughout the clearing. Psyke was meditating on a patch of dirt only a few feet away. I closed my eyes and focused, attempting to reach out to him. Doing this without the amplifier felt clumsy and awkward. Eventually I found Psyke’s wandering train of thought and tried my best to dive into it. The connection was tenuous at best, compared to when we’d had our conversation. I called for his attention and opened my eyes, breaking the connection. For some reason, I was left with a mild headache. Maybe it was a side-effect of using the amplifier? Regardless, I probably needed to do some of the psychic exercises Sabrina had taught me before I took on the League.

Psyke was looking at me curiously, probably wondering why I had broken the connection. I stood up and walked over to him. Flareth, who was already trying to fall asleep, groaned at the disturbance.

Baron was nestled in the grass a few feet away from Psyke. His keen eyes flicked around the clearing, but mostly he watched me approach.

“Hey, I just wanted to try something I thought of yesterday,” I told Psyke.

I looked around our campsite before finding the pile of tinder that Criss had gathered for the fire. I grabbed a sufficiently sturdy stick and went back to Psyke’s patch of dirt. Psyke stared, arms crossed. Baron looked on in curiosity.

“I just wanted to know,” I asked Psyke, “since your IQ is supposedly so high, have you by any chance taught yourself to read?”

To my delight, he nodded.

A smile grew on my face. “So…” I held the stick out towards him and gestured to the dirt. “Does that mean you can write?”

He didn’t even bother uncrossing his arms. The stick was telekinetically taken from my grasp and dragged roughly through the dirt in a jagged pattern. I looked down.

YES.

I couldn’t suppress a laugh. Criss and Tim looked over.

“Wha…? Is that?” Tim stuttered.

I nodded eagerly. “Yep.”

Baron gave a soft squawk.

“What does he want?” I asked Psyke.

The stick dragged through the dirt again.

JEALOUS.

I laughed. “You’re jealous of the fact that he can communicate with me?”

Baron nipped at Psyke’s elbow. Psyke jerked away and playfully tapped him on the beak with a spoon.

“Well maybe I’ll get Psyke to translate for you sometime if you have something to say to me.” I smiled. This opened so many new doors. I almost didn’t want to go straight to the Pokémon League.

Criss laughed, but Tim was mostly silent. Their conversation faded away as the sun sank lower. Meanwhile, I attempted to have a conversation with Psyke, trying to phrase my questions such that they could be answered with a single word. Baron looked on the whole time.

Eventually, it got too dark to see the scribbles Psyke was making on the ground, so I left him to his meditation and returned to Flareth.
The sky was a deep blue-gray with only the brightest of stars visible. The surrounding fir trees enshrined the clearing in darkness, leaving us enclosed alone in our ring of firelight. We sat in silence for some time, just listening to the pleasant crackle of the fire.

I was about to make a witty quip about the lack of heartfelt conversation when Criss suddenly delivered, out of nowhere.

“You know…” she said softly, drifting off like she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to speak at all.

All eyes went to her. She was sitting cross-legged relatively close to the fire, gently hugging Flareon on her lap. The dancing orange glow made her expression nigh impossible to read.

“I…” she continued hesitantly. “I don’t know whether I should apologize or thank the two of you.”

“Apologize for what?” I asked.

Thank for what?” Tim said with a soft laugh.

“You followed me into the Pyroar’s den. You didn’t have to. And honestly, I don’t know why you did. Running in to Saffron without a plan of action was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. I’m not sure what I was expecting, and I never should have pressured the two of you into following.”

“Pressured?” Tim said. “You two were ready to leave me behind. I showed up on my own after convincing Neil and Anna to come along.”

“And thank God you did,” I added. “It would have been over then and there if you guys hadn’t shown up.” As usually happened when I was reminded of that skirmish in the streets, the scars on my face twinged, but less than they had been. Maybe they were finally healing properly

“Please don’t remind me of how two more good innocent people got dragged into this mess. It’s bad enough that I ruined the two of you.” Her voice almost cracked on that last sentence.

Tim and I looked at each other. We were silent for a moment.

“Ruined?” I asked, quietly.

“Keith.” Criss said my name in such an emotional way that I could barely breathe in the few seconds until she continued. “I can see it in your eyes. I can even see it on your face, now. You have scars both inside and out. I don’t know what I did or what I said that convinced you to seek some kind of vengeance for your father.”

I blinked. Is that really all she thought this was about? Was that all this was about? I wasn’t even sure what my motivations were, just that I had done what I felt I needed to.

“Revenge doesn’t help you get over anything,” Criss continued. “I know that all too well. Revenge just turns your deepest wounds into scars that refuse to fade.”

Tim spoke up well before I could string any kind of words together.

“Criss, we went over this with the Rocket Boss,” he said. “We all have our motivations, and they’re our own. You didn’t manipulate either of us. You didn’t pressure either of us. We weren’t just following you.”

Criss gave a short, mocking laugh. “So you’re saying you would have ran up Silph Tower all on your own if you’d never met me?”

Tim sighed. “I don’t understand. How different can our motivations be from yours? How come you do all of this stuff but then freak out when anyone joins you?”

Criss muttered something under her breath and hugged Flareon tighter. “Don’t even pretend that you can understand what my motivations are.”

Something about that statement lit a fire in me. My voice was stern when I finally spoke. “Yeah? Maybe we would if you actually told us anything about yourself.”

Criss just looked at me. Her expression was still hard to read in the firelight, but her fingers were clenching Flareon tightly.

“You said it yourself,” I continued. “We’ve been through hell and back with you. We’ve saved your life and you’ve saved ours.” I jabbed a finger at my chest. “I trust you.” I pointed at Tim. “Tim trusts you.”

Tim nodded.

“We have no reason not to.” I pointed at her, not at all trying to avoid seeming accusatory. “So why can’t you trust us? Whatever it is that made you…” I gestured vaguely, “…this. Just talk about it.” Frustration that I didn’t even know existed started to bubble up.

“You’re not some special snowflake anymore,” I said. “Tim and I have been through shit too. We’re big kids. We can take it. Stop pretending that we won’t understand.”

You wouldn’t understand!” Criss said loudly. Her voice echoed through the trees, but I didn’t stop to listen.

TRY ME!” I actually shouted that time.

Almost all of the surrounding Pokémon raised their heads up to look at me. Dragonair, whose head was resting only a couple feet away, gave a mewl of concern. I wasn’t sure if I regretted shouting at Criss, but the mere action of doing it had dissipated all of the anger I’d had.

Criss didn’t respond right away. She just leaned forward, burying the bottom half of her face in Flareon’s mane and staring intently into the fire.

We were silent for almost a whole minute, just sitting like that. Criss watching the flames, and Tim and I watching Criss.

Criss made a couple noises that might have been the starts of sentences, but they never really got past the first syllable. Eventually, she finally got something out.

“I don’t want to tell you because that would make it real.” She paused.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I waited to see if she would continue.

She did. “I want to leave it all behind me.”

Tim laughed out loud. It was not a sarcastic, mocking laugh, but more of a friendly, teasing laugh. Either way, I wasn’t sure what had provoked that reaction.

“Leave it all behind you?” Tim said. “How’s that working out for you?”

Criss didn’t respond.

It took me a second, but I got what he was saying. “Tim’s right,” I said. “If you want to leave your past behind, this isn’t the way to do it.”

Criss looked at me. Damn, how I wished I could see her expression.

I took a deep breath before saying something that I had only just realized. “If you don’t want to tell us about the things you’ve done, or the things that were done to you or whatever, then that’s okay. I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter to me. But if you really want to leave it behind, then what has all of this been for? Whatever vengeance you’ve been trying to exact, you’ve exacted it. Whatever kind of justice you’ve been trying to uphold, you’ve upheld it. Whatever evil you’re trying to stop, you’ve stopped it.

“It’s over. If you want to be done with it, then be done with it. If you want to leave it behind, then leave it behind.”

“That was way more eloquent than how I would have put it, but yeah. That,” Tim said.

In saying those words, I finally realized the severity of the things Criss must have gone through to become who she was. I thought about the things that had brought me here: Dad’s death, Rainer’s abduction, and every sacrifice and struggle against Team Rocket along the way. It had hurt. It still hurt. But I wasn’t anywhere near Criss. How much did she hurt? How much pain and suffering must she have had to endure to become this? The thought almost brought tears to my eyes.

Half of me expected Criss to lash out in anger again, but she didn’t.

“I… I…” she stuttered. “I don’t know.”

I just looked at her. She sounded so defeated, so confused and forlorn. If she had been pretty much anyone else, I would have crawled over and hugged her and told her it was going to be okay. As it was, I wasn’t sure if that would be a good idea.

“I don’t know,” she said again, just as timidly. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know.”

One way or another, Tim and I had done it. We’d found the chink in the armor. The crack in the ice. The hole in the fortress wall. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

Criss had always been an unwavering sentinel of stoicism. Nothing could shake her resolve. In an ever changing world, she remained stone faced and defiant. Back in Fuschia, when she had told me the story about the little boy, I had decided that if I ever saw Criss cry I would know that the situation was one of true despair. Now, seeing her curled up by the fire, hugging Flareon like a stuffed animal, and stammering like a confused child trying to make sense of the world, I felt nothing but pity. Yet she still didn’t cry. She would never cry. And that’s all that kept me from pretty much bursting into tears myself.

Criss didn’t say a word the rest of the night. She stared into the fire, cuddling Flareon and leaving Tim and I in shocked silence.

Knowing that the next morning would bring possibly the biggest change in my life since I left home in the first place, I wasn’t exactly eager to go to sleep. Flareth was already slumbering peacefully, but Psyke had moved into the ring of light to meditate.

I leaned forward and gently pulled a stick out of the fire. I waved it in Psyke’s general direction and softly said his name. He opened an eye and plucked the stick from my grasp.

“You decide sitting around a fire was better than sitting alone in the dark?” I asked.

YES. WARM.

We went back and forth for a couple minutes, mostly just meaningless small talk, but it was pleasant meaningless small talk.

I heard a sigh from Tim. I turned and looked at him, he was watching us moodily.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He didn’t respond for a second. “I don’t know how you guys do it,” he eventually said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

At that point, Cubone crawled out of the grass and into Tim’s lap. He put his arms around the little creature and began gently scratching the back of its neck.

“You and Criss just seem to get it,” Tim said. “I don’t know what it is. Something about the way you… connect with your Pokémon. I just can’t keep up. It’s like my Pokémon are just these creatures that I hang out with, but your Pokémon are your team. They’re part of you. That’s why I can never seem to beat either of you.”

I thought back to how upset he had been when he had lost to Criss. In doing so, I reminded myself how upset I had been when I had lost to Criss. My heart sank a little bit, but I tried to focus on Tim.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” I said. “Cubone destroyed that Rhydon on the top of Silph Tower. The Rocket Boss meant for that to stop us, and thanks to you it barely slowed us down.”

I half expected Criss to pitch in here, but she just continued staring into the fire and rocking slightly back and forth.

Tim looked down at Cubone in his arms. The little Pokémon gave an odd chirp and nestled its bony helmet against his chest. “I don’t know. Forget I said anything.”

He set Cubone aside and went to roll out his sleeping bag.

Great. Now both of my friends were in a surly mood.

I looked back at my Pokémon. Rainer was a dark mound lying down not far away. Tesla was lazily orbiting around him. I honestly didn’t even know if the Magnemite family slept, even after all this time. Psyke had returned to his meditation. Only Baron was left, looking at me expectantly from just outside the firelight.

“What?” I said quietly. “Do you want to talk about feelings too?”

Baron didn’t respond. He just looked at me for a second before returning to the grass and nestling down.

I knew I probably should get to bed too, so I grabbed my pack and rolled out my sleeping bag next to Flareth and Dragonair.

As I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the lulling sound of Flareth’s soft, steady breathing, I knew that Criss was still awake. I fell asleep before I ever heard her go to bed.

*****

NEXT: The beginning of the end? Or the end of the beginning? Or maybe a bit of both? Regardless, I'm probably going to have to spend a long time on it to get it right.

Thanks for reading, friends!
 
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“It doesn’t matter what I think. You just need to be confident in yourself.”

“Nice cop-out answer, Criss,” I said, grinning. “If you think I’m awful, just say it.”

She laughed again. “I think you’ll do great.”

“What about you, Tim?” I called to my friend.

“I think you’re awful,” he responded.

claps

“Just looking for the reassurance,” I said. “I knew there had to be some reason you kept us around.”

“No,” Criss said. “I just hang out with you guys because of Tim’s good looks and charm.”

Tim eagerly stuck his head over the edge of the bunk. “Really?”

PFFFFF, TIM...

(Fun fact: I initially typed "TIME". Congratulations, your Tim has evolved into Dialga somehow.)

I wonder if it's actually a good idea for Criss to elaborate on what happened. Quite possibly it isn't. All I'm sure of is that I hope if she does talk about it, that's what she genuinely wants to do.
 
This chapter actually felt pretty short yet it was a very somber and quite chapter, reflecting exactly the kind of weight that was on top of the characters this time. I thought it would end with them saying their goodbyes but I guess you wanted them to have one final group argument before they parted ways :p though I can kind of understand why. I mean unless Criss decide to talk all of a sudden the group ending on this note leaves a lot of thing unended for the sequel in regards to chemistry between them. That being said I have to admit that maybe it was necessary for this to happen, it was their ifnal day and it was only right that they were all honest with each other.

That being said I'm wondering what you're going to do with Psyke and his super inteligence, it's true that Alakazam game-wise is really op when it comes to its intelligence so I'm afraid you might give Psyke a lot of attention, he's an important part of Keith's team yeah but it's still odd for him to suddenly get like that, especially since we haven't had that many moments with Rainer since he just came back, heck I thought we'd get to see him in this chapter but we don't or at least he's not mentioned.

Now, sequels stuff aside, I actually found it a little frustrated that Criss still wouldn't talk. I know she has trust issues and I know that realistically it'll be tough for her to suddenly talk about it like that and stuff but I think it also kind of goes against other developtments of her char as she has opened up before and has shown that she trusts Keith and Tim. Plus unless you actually have her reveal it next chapter I'll just chalk it up to you keeping it to yourself to get us to keep reading and that's a troll move :p

Anyways I'll be tuning in to the next chapter with a packet of klinex! I expect tears to come out of me or I'll sue!
 
I think I'm going to start actually responding to reviews in a timely manner again.

@Sike Saner; Lesser known is Tim's brother Spac. I doubt Criss will ever really want to talk about it, but only time will tell if the plot forces her to.

@Flaze; Part of the purpose of this chapter was to lead into a central theme of the sequel: the fact that nothing ever really ends cleanly. Once a story is over, the characters don't disappear. They move on and carry with them all of the burdens that they picked up along the way. As for Criss, the problem is not an issue of trust. She does trust Keith and Tim, but that's not what's keeping her mouth shut. She doesn't want to talk about it with anyone. It will hopefully all make sense by the end of the fic, even if the whole detailed story won't be written for some time.

I still have another arc to do before I finish this damn thing, but I'm going to try to do it by the end of the year. If you're not afraid of light spoilers, the table of contents should give an idea of how much farther we have to go.
 
And thus continues the long tradition of the Alakazam line being OP as fuck.

It really felt like a short chapter. Like, I get that it had a fair bit of length (and three months of work) in it, but I barely noticed it for better or worse. I thought it was well-written enough to be a decent pre-emptive sendoff to the various characters, but some of the typical problems of the recent story remained.

1) For what might have been the first big scene with Rainer, the nominal reason for half of what Keith does in this story, back in to his life it was kind of odd that he was barely there at all. Flareth, Baron and Pske were good but... I was kind of disappointed when Rainer never really did anything.
2) I get that it's her character. I get that this is the second or third closest thing Criss has shown to real weakness in the entire story because I read all of her chapters obsessing over everything. Still... that kind of got old the third time it happened, like 20 chapter ago. By this point I could really live without another "Criss almost tells things" scene, even understand the basic premise of what got her to this point.
3) OK, fine, Tim's making a very strong case for being the second best character in the story in this chapter.

Outside of that, not much to comment on since not much happened. Looking forward to this thing's final march to its overdue conclusion.
 
“It’s a good choice. He’s too much of a wild card.”

“He’s still a Pokémon.”

“It’s for the better. He almost died disobeying you against Titan.”

I almost snapped at her, but her tone was not chastising. She was just trying to comfort me.

Ah, Keith should be used to her way of "comfort" by now, but I suppose he's been through a lot. Emotions are running high right now, it seems already.

I took a deep breath. “You know. What’s next? For you?” I actually managed to keep my voice steady this time. Like hell I was going to break down like a little girl at this point.

Oh, damnit, Keith. You want Criss to be more open with emotions but then you want to protect your manly image? XD This scene is going to break my heart, though, I can tell. Him looking at the badges and touching them, as if to remind himself that they're real, isn't helpingggg.

“No,” Criss said. “I just hang out with you guys because of Tim’s good looks and charm.”

Tim eagerly stuck his head over the edge of the bunk. “Really?”

That made Criss laugh hard enough to hurt herself. She doubled over, grabbing her still healing ribcage and giggling.

Giggling.

This scene didn't go where I was expecting, then, actually. I was wondering why Tim was present at all. But I see you probably wanted to show the trio's dynamic, and it worked perfectly. You broke my heart anyway, with some giggles.

Despite how sad the concept of our journey ending was, I found it thankfully easy to temporarily forget and dwell in the moment. That was my own moving on. I was sure I’d be sad later, but that wasn’t what mattered now.

I think this is a very important skill to have, Keith. Consider me jealous.

It’s not like I charged into Silph Tower to save lives in the name of freedom and democracy. I was just channeling my rage, doing what I thought was right, and mostly making it up as I went along.

Well, then. At least he's honest.

Flareth was kind enough to provide a perfect backrest. Dragonair rested curled gently around Flareth and I, enjoying Flareth’s body heat.

Even Flareth seems to be sentimental right now... If I remember right, she didn't trust anyone besides Criss before the Project Titan incident.

Psyke had explained that Criss’s Pokémon seemed to have a very different relationship with her than most Pokémon did with their trainers. They saw her as the alpha. She was the pack leader. She established her dominance early on, and they did not question it. They didn’t quite understand what Criss was doing most of the time, but they fought for her because it was not their place to doubt her orders. As long as she was strong, she was in charge. She kept the pack united and powerful.

Not sure if I like the words "alpha" and "pack" since it kind of portrays her in an animalistic way, when she's certainly showing opposite traits this chapter thus far.

I could see it, now that I was looking. Nidoking and Nidoqueen sat looking at each other somberly. Omastar curled up in its shell. Even the normally antsy Aerodactyl was quiet. They mourned Arbok. They were saddened by the fallen member of their pack, even if Criss wasn’t.

That's got to be lonely. They probably can't even feel like they can grieve with each other lest Criss disapproves.

Baron gave a soft squawk.

“What does he want?” I asked Psyke.

The stick dragged through the dirt again.

JEALOUS.

I laughed. “You’re jealous of the fact that he can communicate with me?”

Baron nipped at Psyke’s elbow. Psyke jerked away and playfully tapped him on the beak with a spoon.

First you broke my heart, then you made me smile because of cuteness. How dare you.

“We have no reason not to.” I pointed at her, not at all trying to avoid seeming accusatory. “So why can’t you trust us? Whatever it is that made you…” I gestured vaguely, “…this. Just talk about it.” Frustration that I didn’t even know existed started to bubble up.

Looks like Keith is, and should continue to, follow his own advice. He's got a lot of issues with self-awareness I think.

“It’s over. If you want to be done with it, then be done with it. If you want to leave it behind, then leave it behind.”

These are very simple words Keith is saying, but maybe all Criss needs is the permission/knowledge that it's okay to let go.

As I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the lulling sound of Flareth’s soft, steady breathing, I knew that Criss was still awake. I fell asleep before I ever heard her go to bed.

Something tells me she just isn't going to be there in the morning... pls update i beg u
 
Hello. It's me. I was wondering if after all these years you'd like my views? To go over, everything. They say that I should have read ya, cause I ain't done much reading....
Anyway, here's my take on the first arc. Thought I'd give this little read story my take, maybe then it might become popular.

I definitely enjoyed it. For what is currently a standard journey fic, it has enough small changes from the trope to make it stand out. Starting in Pewter as opposed to Pallet certainly saved a lot of time, and the story really kicks off while adequately addressing what has passed.

Keith is certainly amusing, but at this stage in the story doesn’t really stand out. I think some more moral pondering about murder and the fact he killed two people would help make him stand out: his internal struggle in chapter two seems could be tweaked to touch on that more.

Given my habit for writing sassy murderesses, Criss certainly stands out, and makes a nice foil. It may be a tad unrealistic she would just agree to let him come with her given her tough style, but their relationship intrigues me and I hope to see more insights into it in the future. Her background is nicely teased and I look forward to finding out more.

Style wise, it is fairly simple but that does make for a pleasant read, and really suits the fact its first person. Some more descriptions of what Keith sees would be nice, but you handle that style well. I will say it does feel a bit odd to go from a standard gym battle chapter to people having their throats slit without much build up, and the fact they are written the same way with almost similar-level reactions (“I won, woohoo!” ; “He was already dead, damn”) doesn’t help. Perhaps Keith could react a tad more shocked at this stranger murdering someone? Admittedly, I’ve had the same criticism so I can’t really nitpick, but it did bother me.

The different chapters were a nice touch. The Flygon guy does show the story will get bigger and darker as it progresses without impeding on Keith’s reasonably sunny outlook, and was a nicely written scene. The bit with Keith’s dad dying and him learning about was well written and a creative way to get the plot going.

You misspelt Onix as Onyx twice. I don’t know about you, but I value spelling and grammar above all else. Check yourself, bruv.

Also, having the chapters in spoilers means it is kind of hard to read. Just a personal thing but maybe something to consider?

Overally, very enjoyable: nothing grandly special just yet, but it is a good start and does make me want to continue. I think Keith could come across as a stronger, deeper character from the get-go though – a few more reactions or stray thoughts would work wonders for the story.
 
Unpredictable


Technique 7/10: Unpredictable is honestly an example of how a fic can change when treated with a lot of love and a lot of care (and lot of years), it originally started out with grammar and description that was only able to qualify as average, with a some but not too many mistakes, really everything about its beginnings aside from a slightly darker turn at the start of the fic made it into just a fic you could’ve skipped any other day. Thankfully AetherX worked really hard on it and as the fic goes on mistakes become few and far between and there’s a lot more attention paid to it. It’s still a fic that doesn’t rely much on description but it makes up for it by having a good flow and pace, plus the description we do get is enough to paint the basis for a picture in our heads while also letting us fill the rest in, all it takes is a little imagination.


Style 7/10: As mentioned before Unpredictable’s description and flow really fits, at first it starts out rocky but as the fic went on it became a lot better to the point that you can read chapters really quickly. The fic shines particularly when it comes to action scenes and battles where its specific type of description allows the moment to come to life in one’s mind.


Plot 5/10: Unpredictable’s plot, at its core (which is how I’m taking it into account this time around) is very simple and, well, it really is just a replay of the game’s plot with original characters. Now, it’s not a bad one and there’s a lot to be said about how it executes the plot but the basis for the plot is the most common denominator and AetherX doesn’t really do much to stray from the core plot of the games to make it stand out more, yes he adds more characters to it, yes he makes things grander and develops them well but at its center it is still the plot of the games.


Setting 6/10: Much like its plot, the setting also suffers from being too by the norm. Again, the way AetherX executes it does make it stand out eventually but…it’s still pretty barebones, like I said, his description gives enough room for the reader to fill in the blanks but when it comes to the setting it is still Kanto, it’s still the same roads and cities you’re used to seeing and there really isn’t much that’s done to expand from that, in fact because Unpredictable’s description leaves a lot of room for readers to imagine well…let’s just say most people will decide to think of the more normal and already seen settings than imagine something grandiose unless it is outright stated.


Characters 8/10: The best thing about Unpredictable are its characters, even if they still need a little work. The bad part here is that a lot of the characters don’t really stand out much and there are some that can be kind of bland, there’s also the case of Tim who started out as a more defined character in my eyes but kind of became just a more outgoing version of Keith with less skills. This isn’t to say that the characters are BAD they just need some more layers to the personalities so that they can stand out more to the reader, aside from that the banter between characters is pretty good as well as their relationships, even though we don’t know much about the backstories of a lot of characters just by seeing how they get along with each other is enough to care for what happens and want to see the end of their tale.


Overall 66/100: Again the story is still a good fic that I would recommend checking out and it does a lot of things right, but at its core Unpredictable is still pretty basic when it comes to story and setting so far and while the grammar and description are pretty good now this is only talking about the second half of the fic meaning that one half of it is still less unpolished, that being said though it still does well by its characters and it has really good action scenes and a good flow to it.
 
This is in response to the Review Game post that AetherX had sent.

Alright, I read Chapter 5 (as well as the chapters before), and it was...nice. It felt rather short compared to your other chapters before, to be frank. And to me, the win felt too easy. I think it would be nice if Keith would have gone through a loss at the gym, rethought his strategy, then won. See, if I remember correctly from my own play experience from Pokémon Red, it can be rather difficult to beat Misty on the first try. And sure, he can be a prodigy trainer, but in most fics I've read, there is usually a few losses scattered here and there; I've not seen a loss yet on his part. I understand he can be lucky, but in my opinion, a trainer like him wouldn't be winning left and right.

But other than that thought sticking in my head, well done. The pacing felt nice for the battle and throughout the previous chapters, pacing was ncie as well. I appreciate the speed of the story moreso than The Long Walk, even if it is still a great story. Mechanics and grammar checks out for me, and so I think that will settle it with my review. I'll make sure to read more of this in my spare time. Especially since from what I see this is finished, so I have no need to worry about being stuck at a cliffhanger, yes?
 
Holy poop I haven't responded to people here in ages. Sooo... belatedly celebrating an awards win I guess? No news on when a new chapter will come out. I've got a lot of school stuff going on and multiple side projects in the works.

@Athena 1) I agree completely. The pacing of this arc is wonky as fuck. There's just too much I wanted to do and ended up doing a lot of the wrong stuff. That said, other Pokemon having the focus right now will hopefully make more sense as the story continues. 2) When were the other times this happened? There was the time with the story about Nathaniel, but that's all I remember. The rest of her "big reveals" were really just about how to fight Team Rocket. If more scenes prior to this came across as Criss's front breaking down then I'd like to know so that I can water them down in the rewrites, because that was never my intention. A proper big reveal is coming before the end of the fic. Two if I can figure out how to hint it well enough. 3) I'm glad you think so.

@diamondpearl876 Thanks so much for the review! It really helps to know that most of the ideas I was going for got across pretty well. I think I told you this already, but reviews like this make me want to write more.

@AceTrainer14 And the award for longest wait for a review goes to... Thanks for the feedback! If you're looking for some moral pondering from Keith then the next couple chapters should do the trick. Thanks for the Onix catch, I made that mistake on and off throughout the story. Most of them should be fixed now. I don't like the way the new forum does spoilers, so I'm definitely going to be taking those out at some point. I'm just kind of anal about formatting consistency, so I want to do them all at once.

@lucarioknight56 Thanks for the review! Keith not losing is going to be a bit of a recurring theme I'm afraid. If I were to start the story over I would probably have had him lose to Misty once, since Cerulean's kind of a slow arc anyway. But as is more losses means less time moving forward. Keith losing would shoot the pacing in the foot. Whether or not that's a bad thing is subjective I suppose. I'd be careful if you're planning on continuing. Everything up to and including Chapter 5 has been rewritten somewhat recently. Past that you'll fall off into the disgusting quagmire of my earliest writing. I'll be updating those periodically. The story is not quite finished yet, but as of right now is actually at a pretty good stopping place. Also, as a brief moderator sidenote: we tend to discourage comparing fics in reviews. It can lead to hurt feelings and flaming pretty quickly. Not a huge deal in this case, since Beth Pavell and I actually beta read for each other, but just a note for the future.
 
Chapter 47 - The Fall
I'm sorry this has taken so long. Over a year. It hasn't been a pleasant year, and this is the most challenging thing I've ever written. I'm still not very confident in it, but the few of you that still care about this little story deserve something. I've also begun rewriting Chapter 6 and should have that before long for those of you that read those.

Please keep spoilers in spoilers in your reviews.

This time: May we meet again. Goodbye forever.

Chapter 47

I awoke not long after sunrise the next morning to a reminder of why sleeping under the stars was often a bad idea. A layer of dew covered the whole meadow and soaked my sleeping bag most of the way through. A steady breeze from the south wasn’t making the situation any more comfortable. Shivering, I edged my way out of my sleeping bag and grabbed some warmer clothes from my pack.

The wind was carrying in some puffy clouds that could bring rain later in the day, but it was still mostly blue skies. On the other side of the smoldering remnants of our campfire, Criss was packing up and Tim was… nowhere to be seen.

I looked around. Criss’s Pokémon had apparently been returned to their Poké Balls, with the usual exception of Flareon, who was eating something Criss must have given it. My Pokémon lazed about in more or less the same positions I had left them the previous night. Seeing me awake, Rainer pushed himself to his feet and waddled over. Tesla still orbited him excitedly. I didn’t see any of Tim’s Pokémon anywhere.

Rainer plopped back down right next to me, sprawled out on the ground. I patted him on his large shell, still looking for any sign of Tim. The area where Tim had been sleeping was empty and all sign of him removed.

“Morning,” Criss said, not looking up from where she knelt by her pack.

“Where’s Tim?” I asked.

Criss looked at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, like she hadn’t gotten much sleep. I felt a brief pang of sympathy, but she had needed to hear what we told her.

“He left early this morning. Really early,” Criss answered.

I blinked. Tim was gone? Just like that? No goodbyes, no good lucks? I felt an empty pit form in my stomach. I had known we wouldn’t be able to spend much more time together, but I had at least expected to be able to say goodbye.

“Why?” I asked shakily. “Did he say where he was going?”

Criss shrugged. “Lavender, I think.”

I thought back to Tim’s brief outburst the previous night. He hadn’t felt like he was able to keep up with Criss and me. I hoped that some solo training time would help him gain some well-deserved self-confidence.

I let out a long sigh and slid down to sit on the ground, leaning against Rainer’s sturdy shell. Everything that I had relied on for so long was drifting apart, but at least Rainer was back. My Pokémon were the ones who would be with me through to the end. Having Rainer by my side again stirred up some of that old passion for the journey, that childish excitement I’d had back in the beginning. It took the edge off of the ache in my heart.

“So you heading out then?” I asked, stroking Rainer’s shell slowly.

“Yeah. No real reason to stick around.”

“What? Were you going to leave without saying anything too?” I hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but disappointment at Tim leaving was fusing with some of the frustration remaining from the night before.

Criss stopped what she was doing and looked at me. Her expression was shocked and a little hurt.

“I…” she stuttered.

Something was different about her. Something about the previous night’s conversation had either stripped away a layer of stoicism, or given me a keener understanding of what was really on her mind. Either way, her face seemed more expressive than before. Sympathy clouded over my frustration. I pitied her, as weird as that felt to say.

“Sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m just a little overwhelmed right now.” I sheepishly began fiddling with the Poké Balls at my belt. The clasps were becoming a little rusty. Maybe leaving my belt out overnight all the time wasn’t so great an idea.

Criss stood up and looked at her feet. Flareon nudged her leg supportively. “No… No… It’s okay. You have a lot on your mind. It’s understandable.”

I closed my eyes, listening to the angry chirping of songbirds who were apparently very upset that we still hadn’t left.

“I know I said this before and you didn’t really want to hear it, but I’m sorry for dragging you into this,” Criss said. “I know I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you and Tim, but I still wish I hadn’t let you get involved. It was selfish.”

I opened my eyes to see her still staring at her feet. She looked just as tired and vulnerable as the night before. “Are you saying that you’d like to forget all of this too?”

She finally looked up and made eye contact. “No. Definitely not.”

“Do you really regret it, then?”

She paused. “I don’t know.”

“Then don’t worry about it,” I said. “Tim and I can handle ourselves. Take a moment and just worry about yourself. You deserve it.”

Criss didn’t respond right away, so I creakily stood up and got to work gathering my belongings. There wasn’t much to gather, and I realized a little too late that I was almost out of things to do to put off leaving. To make up for it, I decided to pull the flight saddle from Silph out and figure out how to put it on Baron, now the only Pokémon besides Flareon still out.

“So where are you headed, then?” I eventually asked Criss as I attempted to figure out the buckles and straps. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Baron was composed and obedient. It ended up being easier than I thought.

“I don’t know,” she responded. “Probably just wander for a little while. Maybe go visit Johto again. Retrace some of the more memorable parts of my journey.”

“You sure you don’t want to come with me?” I asked. “At least to the Indigo Plateau?” After looking at a pair of leather strips, I decided that the thicker one was for attaching the saddle to Baron, and the thinner one for attaching me to the saddle. Who needs instruction manuals anyway?

“Thanks for the offer,” Criss said. “I need some time alone, though.”

I began adjusting the straps to get them to the right tightness. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“It just seems like with the mindset you’re clearly in, it might be nice to have a friend.”

“Are you actually worried about me?” Criss’s voice came from directly behind me.

I fumbled with a buckle a little longer than necessary before giving up on pretense. I turned around and sat down, leaning against Baron, who didn’t seem to mind.

Criss was looking at me with curiosity, and her arms were crossed loosely, more like she was hugging herself than cutting herself off.

“Yeah,” I said. “I usually am. I’d be crazy not to.”

She looked at me thoughtfully. After a moment, her hand slid down to the knife at her belt. Rather than unsheathing it, she unclipped it. She looked at it for a second before tossing it to me.

“Here. I want you to have this.”

I caught the knife and turned it over in my hands. It was a simple design, with a sturdy grey rubber handle in a black nylon sheath. I looked up at Criss. “Why?”

With a sigh, she sank down to sit cross-legged in the grass.

“I don’t think I ever told you about where I grew up,” she said softly.

“You said you’re from Sinnoh,” I recalled.

“Yeah.” She smiled slightly. “I grew up on a small ranch at the foot of Mt. Coronet. My parents bred fire-types.”

“That’s right, you said your dad had a Magmar. Flareth.”

She cocked her head and smiled, as if surprised that I had remembered. “Yeah. Magby were a specialty of his. He raised them for battling. Mom did just about everything else.”

I was unsure what was going on, so I continued looking at the knife and waited for her to say more.

“My Dad bought that knife for me right before I got on the boat to Johto. He was so worried that I wouldn’t be prepared to be out on my own.”

I laughed. “I have a hard time imagining you as an unprepared novice trainer.”

She grinned back at me. “I may not have gotten my ass kicked by a Butterfree in my first three days, but I wasn’t much when I first started.”

“Hey now, that’s uncalled for,” I said, mock-sternly. “He was an exceptionally smart Butterfree.”

“Well, smarter than you apparently,” Criss said.

We both laughed.

“So what happened when you got to Johto? What was your journey like?” I asked.

“Fast. I blitzed the gyms. Caught a bunch of different Pokémon and trained them as fast as I could using the methods I learned from my parents. The Johto gyms were easy with three or four specially trained Pokémon for each.”

“That’s an interesting tactic.”

“It worked.”

“So what happened after you got eight badges?”

Her smile faded instantly. Her gaze locked on the knife in my hands. The story she was telling had led her to the part she wanted to forget the most. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to get much more out of her.

It took her a few seconds before she responded. “Over the next year or so… I got mixed up in some things I shouldn’t have. I hurt and killed people I thought deserved it. But through all that, I promised to never use that knife as a weapon. I wouldn’t let a single drop of blood tarnish who I was at heart… where I came from. I think deep down I knew that what I was doing was wrong.”

Having seen Criss plunge this very knife into the throat of dozens of Rockets, I waited for the twist.

Criss’s eyes were closed. Her hands were gripping her knees with white knuckles. It looked like she was holding her breath.

“Then I heard that my parents had been killed.” She said it quickly and softly.

I felt a pang of empathy. I had known that she had lost people, but hearing her say it outright like this tugged at my heart. “Team Rocket?” I asked.

“No,” she said through clenched teeth. “But Team Rocket ended up giving them refuge.” Her grip softened, and she opened her eyes, but she was staring at the ground between us. “I was so angry…”

Her voice was shaky with emotion. What emotion, sorrow, rage, anxiety, it was hard to tell.

“I was so angry, I broke my promise,” she continued. “I killed a man with this knife. Ever since then, I never stopped being angry, and I broke my promise again and again.”

She paused to take a deep breath. “Never again.”

I looked at her curiously.

“I’m not angry anymore. That’s… That’s why I want you to have it.”

I held the knife up in front of my face and looked between her and it. “I’m not sure I understand. Why should I take it?”

“For me. So that I have to keep my promise. And for you. So that you can have a reminder of what not to become.”

The strength of those words nearly knocked the wind out of me. How many times had I been aghast or disgusted with the things that Criss had done? How close was I to doing those very same things myself?

But I wasn’t Criss. I hadn’t killed anyone since Mt. Moon, and those were accidents. Every encounter I’d ever had with Team Rocket flashed before my eyes. My Pokémon had killed plenty, but were those my fault? Maybe they were….

I had charged into Saffron after all. It was stupid. I had known it was stupid. But the same radicalism that drove Criss had driven me to follow her. Maybe I was closer to being like her than I had thought.

I grasped the handle of the knife and unsheathed it partway. It was impeccably clean and razor sharp. Criss took good care of it. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Criss was smiling, but I could sense a deep sadness behind it.

Wordlessly, I put the knife into a side pocket on my pack.

This was the most Criss had ever told me about herself. I knew it wasn’t the whole story. Hell, I doubted it was much of the story at all. But it was enough. For her and me.

“I thought you should know,” she said, as if she had read my mind.

I wordlessly went back to fitting saddle straps. It wasn’t until I finished that I finally found my voice. “Thank you,” I said, standing up and looking at her.

She stood up too, and took a few steps towards me. When she was within arm’s reach, she stopped and we just looked at each other.

Suddenly, Criss reached out and grabbed my sleeve, pulling me into a hug.

I couldn’t help but notice that she was probably the first girl I’d hugged since I was about ten years old who could put her head over my shoulder.

She held on. “I think I’m going to miss you.”

“I think I’m going to miss you too. Imagine that.”

She pulled away.

“You should probably get going. You’ll want to be at the Plateau before it starts to rain.”

“Yeah…” I put on my pack and clambered aboard Baron, jamming my feet in the saddle’s stirrups. It was far from comfortable, but felt way more stable than flying bareback. Baron’s wings flared out, but I put a hand on the side of his neck and told him to wait a second.

I looked at Criss, who stood once again with her arms loosely crossed. By her side, Flareon stared up at her.

“Keep in touch,” I said. “Or don’t. Whichever helps.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I said. “For everything.”

“Goodbye, Keith. And good luck.”

“You too.”

I patted Baron’s neck and he flared out his wings once more. A few bumpy seconds later we were flying west. I tried to turn around and look, but our little clearing had already been obscured by the trees.


*


Viridian City would be my first stop, since neither I nor Baron had ever been to the Pokémon League, so we’d need to use the road to orient ourselves.

I basked in the thrill of flight, feeling the wind in my hair and the subtle wing adjustments Baron made to stay on course. Far off to our left was the southern coastline and a wall of gray clouds that heralded the rain Criss had warned me about.

Nerves about challenging the Elite Four made my stomach dance about more than flying did. I tried to focus on the horizon, where the majestic Alizarin Mountains stood as tall green and gray sentinels guarding the Indigo Plateau. It was much easier to appreciate the view from up here with the flight goggles. No need to blink constantly or fear a bug flying into my eye.

I stared at the mountains, thinking of Criss. Worrying about her, and dreaming. When we were flying above the forest south of Celadon, Baron gave a sudden jerk.

“What is it?” I asked, leaning in and shouting against the wind.

Baron’s head darted left and right, then he turned into a steep descent towards a clearing around a small, dark green pond. Without warning, he flared his wings and stopped out momentum entirely.

Suddenly, something slammed into me from behind, hard. A piercing screech broke the steady rush of wind. Long, razor sharp talons slashed the air on either side of me. Baron tumbled through the air, wings flailing as he attempted to right himself. Thanks to the saddle, I didn’t have to pay attention to holding on, allowing me an opportunity to get a look at our attacker.

Fear and denial struck me like lightning.

“No… This can’t be happening. This fight is over!

Two Fearow. Seated skillfully in saddles on their backs: two Skyguard.

This wasn’t fair. We’d beaten them. I’d watched them retreat. Scores of these assholes were being processed by the court system at this very moment. Why were they here?

Baron, get to the ground now!” I shouted as Baron managed to get himself right side up. He already knew that and didn’t really need the command, but shouting it made me feel like I had some kind of control over the situation.

The Skyguard knew exactly what they were doing. One of the Fearow dove down below to cut us off before Baron could pick up enough speed. Rather than stop and attempt to fight them off, Baron opted for plowing straight into the Fearow blocking our way.

The collision made me slam forward in the saddle. There was more screeching and tumbling. Baron and the Fearow were locked in combat, rolling through the air. I closed my eyes and tried not to be sick as sky and earth rapidly swapped places with each other. I desperately wished I had kept some kind of weapon within reach, but both my stun rod and my knife were stowed safely in my pack.

Something sharp scraped against my leg, making me instinctively kick out. My eyes snapped back open in time to see one of the Fearow’s claws slicing through the leather straps binding my right leg to the saddle.

Uh-oh.

We spun around again, and this time it wasn’t so easy to hold on. I slid backwards off of the saddle and somehow got a face-full of feathery wing. My stomach lurched and the next thing I knew, I was hanging upside down, falling out of the sky, my left leg still attached to Baron.

Baron screeched with effort and beat his powerful wings, but I was pulling him down like a fishing lure.

The far harsher screech of a Fearow drew my attention our side, where one of the Skyguard’s Fearow was bearing down on me with talons outstretched. Not Baron. Me.

Panicking, I looked back up at Baron. I waved my arms, kicked my legs, tried to rock back and forth to swing myself up to him so that he could stabilize, but it was impossible.

Time seemed to stand still as I glanced back and forth between Baron’s struggles and the oncoming Fearow. My stomach felt like it was floating as we continued to accelerate downward.

I was going to die.

I thought of Criss. I hoped that she found peace with herself.

I thought of Tim. How I wished I had been able to say goodbye.

I thought of my family. The blow to Mom would be awful.

Tears began to build behind my eyes. I struggled, in vain, to center myself and psychically connect to Baron, but it was no use.

After all that, I was going to die to a pair of Skyguard who had no business being here.

But then Baron looked down at me. Those big, black eyes pierced straight into my soul. He was giving me that look. That look that he always gave when I had given up hope, but he still promised to pull through.

He twisted around his neck, reaching under his wing, and clamped down on the remaining straps connecting us with his razor sharp beak. With a twist, he severed them.

I fell.

Above me, Baron righted himself just in time to take the Fearow’s tackle full on.

Heart hammering, I fell for barely a second more before I saw green on the edges of my vision. Trees.

Suddenly, my goggles were torn from my face. And then everything went quiet. And dark. And cold. My momentum ground to a sudden halt. I couldn’t breathe.

It took me a second to realize that I had landed in water. I forced my eyes open. White bubbles spun around me. Adrenaline pumping, heart nearly beating itself out of my chest, I tried to understand what was going on.

Baron must have seen the pond not far below and dropped me. Somewhere above, he was still fighting those Skyguard.

I thrashed about with my arms and legs, trying desperately to figure out which way was up. Somewhere between my feet was a glittering ball of greenish light. The sun. That way, then.

As I struggled to head towards the surface, my hand suddenly knocked aside something hard. I looked towards it, but in the murky water, it was impossible to see. Something warm and smooth brushed against my cheek. I spun to look at it.

A red and white Poké Ball floated in front of me, slowly sinking.

Oh no.

My hand went to my belt.

The fall into the water had torn loose all but one of my Poké Balls. I snatched at the one in front of my face, but I ended up just batting it away into the murky depths. I whirled around in the water in an attempt to find the rest. My left palm found one and I grabbed it tight, but my lungs were beginning to burst.

I kicked upwards, my backpack weighed me down despite the fact that I had mostly emptied it of supplies. Somehow, I finally broke the surface.

I spluttered and coughed, trying my best to take in great breaths of wonderful, smelly, swamp air. I blinked quickly in an attempt to clear my vision, but the dirty pond water wasn’t very good for my eyes. I desperately tried to rub them with the back of my hands, still clutching for dear life the Poké Ball I had managed to save.

In the direction I was facing, I could see stumps and fallen trees. I had to get to land. I had to hope that the two Pokémon I had left could help Baron. I furiously swam towards shore.

Only a few seconds later, I felt my feet hit soft mud. I scrambled through the reeds out of the water, nearly tripping over a log half submerged in the muck.

Above me, I could still hear the sounds of battle: screeching and the occasional shouted command from a Skyguard. Dropping the Poké Ball in my hand, I rubbed my eyes clear and looked up.

Not a hundred feet up, Baron was grappling with a single Fearow and its Skyguard rider. Feathers and droplets of blood were gently falling into the pond.

BARON!” I screamed in desperation and panic. I threw down my waterlogged backpack.

The second Fearow burst from the treetops and into the fray. No rider sat in its saddle. I scanned the dense tree line, looking for the telltale gray of a Skyguard uniform. I saw him only a second before he saw me. He had a pistol in his hands, but before he could raise it, I plucked the Poké Ball from my belt and threw it at him as hard as I could.

The metal ball hit him square in the face. I could tell by the sound that it broke his nose. The next second, four hundred pounds of Arcanine was standing on his chest.

Finish him,” I snarled at Flareth.

Another shiver-inducing screech pulled my attention back to the battle overhead. Baron was not in a good situation. The Fearow with a rider was alternately dive-bombing Baron, and blasting at him with hyper beams. The other was doing its best to prevent him from escaping.

Heart racing, I scrambled to find the one other Poké Ball that had made it out of the pond. I nearly lost the camouflaged Safari Ball in the grass. When Dragonair appeared, I furiously stuck a finger in the air and screamed “Do something!”

Dragonair looked as jittery as I felt, but I didn’t care. I had to help Baron. We had to help him.

Dragonair looked up at the battle above us. Blue electricity formed around her horn, and then lanced upward, but it missed by far.

“Again!” I shouted.

It was no use. Dragonair could barely reach that far, and she ran the risk of hitting Baron too.

Useless!

“Into the water!” I commanded. “Find the others!”

Dragonair wasted no time in slithering into the pond. Its surface still rippled from my fall. Or perhaps it was the blood and feathers raining down.

I curled my hands into fists and screamed incoherently at the air battle. I was so powerless. So helpless.

It wasn’t long before Dragonair returned and dropped a Poké Ball onto the shore, then dove right back in to look for more.

I jumped on the Poké Ball, immediately and with some distress recognizing it as Rainer’s. He would also be unable to reach with his attacks. When I released him, he looked at me with his stern gaze.

“The pond,” I pled. “Two more Poké Balls. No wait, three.”

He nodded and dove in after Dragonair.

Tesla and Psyke were all that was left. Either would be helpful. I wouldn’t even be able to recall Baron at this range. I pulled at my hair, watching him take a hyper beam straight to the chest. He fought on, wings and talons flailing. Not all of the blood was his.

But some of it was.

I sank to my knees. Desperately, I closed my eyes and tried to establish a psychic connection. I couldn’t. There was too much fear and anger rushing through me. I couldn’t concentrate.

An especially pained squawk made my eyes fly open again.

Even from this far below, it was visible: a gash across Baron’s stomach. But the Fearow that he was tangling with had left itself open for the attack. Baron retaliated by locking his beak around its neck and twisting. There was an audible crack, and the Fearow fell.

But the Skyguard who flew above took advantage of the distraction to charge a frighteningly powerful hyper beam.

Baron didn’t even turn to face it. He was trying to descend towards me when the beam of bright white light struck him square in the back.

He didn’t make a sound.

He just fell.

I’m not sure I even heard the splash when he hit the water. Fear and pain gripped me greater than ever before. I stared open-mouthed at his crumpled body as it bobbed back up to the surface.

I ran in after him, awkwardly stepping through the mud until it was deep enough to swim properly. I forgot all about the Skyguard above us. He was surely barreling down on me, but I didn’t care. Baron needed me, and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to help.

Suddenly, a white light shone brightly from beneath the water. Bubbles billowed upward, then a yellow shape burst from the surface of the water, flying up to meet the Fearow in the sky.

A songlike cry filled the woods. It was sad, yet full of determination and righteous fury.

I stopped and treaded water to watch in wonder as a fully evolved Dragonite collided head on with the Fearow.

I didn’t have time to even register what was going on when a sound in the water caught my attention. Rainer came up beneath Baron’s body and began ferrying him towards me. I grabbed ahold of Rainer’s shell and let him drag me back to shore as I checked on Baron.

He was breathing. Barely.

When we reached the shore, Rainer helped me move Baron underneath an old cedar tree. Its billowing branches provided the only open space that we could find near the pond.

Warm blood flowed freely from the slash across Baron’s chest, covering my hands and clothes. The feathers on the back of his neck were singed, and the skin beneath them was heavily blistered. My panic grew even more intense.

“No, no, no, no…” I muttered.

I tore off my jacket and pressed it against the wound to stop the bleeding. I didn’t think it would be enough. But it had to be enough. With one hand I dug Criss’s knife out of my backpack and used it to cut loose the tattered remains of the saddle.

“No, no, no…”

I didn’t consciously notice Rainer returning to the pond to find the rest of the Poké Balls. Or Flareth returning to my side, mouth bloody. Or Dragonite pulling the remaining Fearow and its rider straight down into the pond and holding them beneath the surface.

I curled my legs under me and leaned into Baron, burying my face in the soft feathers around his neck, and trying to hold back the tears.

“What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?” I mumbled.

I felt sick and feverish. I was shaking uncontrollably, and a very real, very physical pain throbbed in my chest. I couldn’t help it, I sobbed once.

One of my Pokémon walked up behind me and dropped something on the scaly cedar leaves that carpeted the ground. I turned and looked.

Rainer had dropped Psyke’s Ultra Ball next to me and was now returning to the pond.

Hand shaking, I picked the ball up and let Psyke out. As he observed the situation, his face was expressionless.

“P-Please,” I stammered. “Help.”

Blinking slowly, Psyke knelt on the ground next to me. He gently put a clawed hand on my jacket where it still covered Baron’s wound, held in place by my outstretched arm.

He closed his eyes.

Flareth and I stared at him. A faint hope began to grow in my heart.

Then he shook his head. And I was the fourteen-year-old boy who had just lost his father again. Staring at a TV screen that showed something I could not have ever hoped to stop. I was powerless.

There was nothing left.

I shuffled closer to Baron to look into his eyes. I don’t know why. It just didn’t feel right to not look at his face while he…

While he…

While he… died.

His large dark eyes were barely open, but they still moved ever so slightly. How could I let this happen? How could I be so incompetent?

Baron had fought for me from the beginning. He fought harder than I ever did against injustice and evil. He was a hero. I was just the sidekick. He relied on me for so little. And yet I still failed him.

“I...” I choked. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked. He knew. Baron always knew.

“I n-never should have made you fight Team Rocket,” I sobbed. “I never should have brought you on this… stupid journey. I never should have caught you and torn you away from your home.” Tears were dripping from my chin onto my legs like an unsteady metronome.

Baron’s eyes flicked from my face to over my shoulder, then back. I turned and look at Psyke.

“Translate for him,” I said haltingly. “Please. Just tell me what he’s saying.” I didn’t even think about how he would manage it. Drawing on the ground in the dead leaves wouldn’t be readable.

Psyke looked deeply into Baron’s eyes for a few seconds, then leaned over him and drove his spoon into the tree trunk.

Slowly, he carved out two words in rough capital letters.

“MY CHOICE.”

Still weeping freely, I buried my face again in Baron’s neck, listening to his weak breathing.

I held him until it ended.

*

NEXT: Keith has been brought low. Will he climb back?

Thanks for reading, friends.
 
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I stand by what I said in beta: it's far from scrappage time. At this point I don't think you'd be able to polish it up much more regardless of how much time you spent on it - you just don't have the distance to do that at the moment
 
I haven't been peaking in to the Workshop at all recently but am oh so glad I did today, since this is probably my favorite story on here.

Unfortunately I don't have too much to say about the chapter, however I do think the dialogue between Criss and Keith was natural. It definitely felt real to me which was good. I think having Tim leave early too was smart, since you avoided having 2 goodbye scenes back to back which likely would have been awkward to both read and write.

On the flip side, something about this chapter's description felt a little lackluster compared to previous ones. Not too sure why, but I wasn't as immersed as I have been with the story - perhaps because there wasn't much in the Skyguard scene aside from Kieth's description, which made the read a little one-sided. I felt it was odd too how the Skyguard never actually talked, nor how Baron ever really cooed/chirped. It was almost as if the scene was silent.

Otherwise I thought it was a good but unexpected chapter (in terms of the ending and Skyguard appearance). I do think Keith's character came through a lot better here which was nice too, and I look forward to seeing how he'll deal with what's just happened.

Overall I sincerely hope you keep with the story. It's been an enjoyable read from start to finish so far. :~)
 
I'm just going to put the entire review in spoilers because... that chapter. Just...

Dear god. Why. What did Bird Jesus ever do to you?

Honestly didn't see this one coming. Figured that we were just going to have an 'everyone says goodbye to everyone else' chapter and Keith arrives at Victory Road. So way to mix things up a bit and be, dare I say it, unexp—wait, damn it—unpredictable. I meant Unpredictable.

Criss backstory is always great, especially after the Criss-centric reading and writing I did a while back. Tim leaving early was interesting, but eh. Whatever. Didn't impact things that much.

I am now genuinely interested where this goes. He needs a new Pokemon before Endgame, which is going to happen, and the Mewtwo thing still sort of maybe needs resolved. But now Criss is gone and it looks like things can maybe wind down. Strongly hope you finish this.
 
My Pokémon lazed about in more or less the same positions I had left them the previous night.

Kind of an awkward sentence. It implies that Keith left his pokemon in one spot and commanded them to not move until he told them to because of the word "position".

The area where Tim had been sleeping was empty and all sign of him removed.

The fact that Tim left is fairly obvious at this point. You probably would've fared better combining all the details that pointed to him being gone in one paragraph instead of spreading them out. Kind of breaks the flow a bit for me right at the beginning of the chapter.

“He left early this morning. Really early,” Criss answered.

I blinked. Tim was gone? Just like that? No goodbyes, no good lucks? I felt an empty pit form in my stomach. I had known we wouldn’t be able to spend much more time together, but I had at least expected to be able to say goodbye.

I might add in something that confirms undoubtedly that Tim's left for good. It's logical for Keith to assume so considering what happened in the last chapter, but a real confirmation could add more impact to the scene.

Criss was looking at me with curiosity, and her arms were crossed loosely, more like she was hugging herself than cutting herself off.

The little details you're putting in are doing a good job of setting the tone for the chapter. Which is really helpful, since sometimes Criss's dalogue tends to distract from how she really feels.

The Johto gyms were easy with three or four specially trained Pokémon for each.”

“That’s an interesting tactic.”

“It worked.”

Reminds me of how I used to play the games because I was too impatient to raise a full team. :p

But through all that, I promised to never use that knife as a weapon. I wouldn’t let a single drop of blood tarnish who I was at heart… where I came from. I think deep down I knew that what I was doing was wrong.”

Well just break my heart why don't you?

“I’m not angry anymore. That’s… That’s why I want you to have it.”

I suppose Keith was a big part of her not being angry anymore... though I doubt she'd ever admit it outright. This scene is doing really well in the emotional description department.

She held on. “I think I’m going to miss you.”

“I think I’m going to miss you too. Imagine that.”

You could've just put "I'm going to miss you" for both of them obviously, but... the little additions alongside that really fit their characters. I love it.

“Keep in touch,” I said. “Or don’t. Whichever helps.”

And I doubt Keith would ever admit that he hopes that she'll keep in touch deep down... Ugh.

When Dragonair appeared, I furiously stuck a finger in the air and screamed “Do something!”

Dragonair looked as jittery as I felt, but I didn’t care. I had to help Baron. We had to help him.

Dragonair looked up at the battle above us. Blue electricity formed around her horn, and then lanced upward, but it missed by far.

“Again!” I shouted.

It was no use. Dragonair could barely reach that far, and she ran the risk of hitting Baron too.

Useless!

Keith being a little uncaring here about Dragonair makes me kind of wonder what's going to happen after this chapter... Dragonair evolved, but it didn't matter. Baron's still gone. Maybe Keith will turn into what Criss doesn't want to after all.

Flareth and I stared at him. A faint hope began to grow in my heart.

I admit I got a little hopeful, too, since Psyke would be the most helpful in this kind of situation, but... nope. :(

Slowly, he carved out two words in rough capital letters.

“MY CHOICE.”

Still weeping freely, I buried my face again in Baron’s neck, listening to his weak breathing.

I held him until it ended.

I can't say I was really expecting this chapter to turn out the way it did, but... in the end, I had to stop and think about everything I had read, since it was all so powerful and well written. The tone is consistent throughout the chapter, which was really needed considering the events of what happened. I'm curious to see how the aftermath is going to turn out.
 
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