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TEEN: Unpredictable

Chapter 55 - Champion
Chapter 55

David yawned and leaned over the railing of my balcony, looking down at the beach far below. “During my challenge I spent every day after each battle out here, looking at the lake and the mountains.”

“It’s a hell of a view,” I agreed, watching the field maintenance work boat trundle its way back from the island. They didn’t have too much cleanup to do today. I let out a contented sight and scanned the far ridgeline. David had said you could sometimes pick out Tyranitar puttering around there if you watched closely, but I hadn’t seen one yet.

I was still riding the high off of beating Lance. I hadn’t realized how worried I’d been about facing him in particular, but now on the far side of it I wasn’t just relieved, but proud of myself and my Pokémon. I’d somehow come through it without losing any of my remaining three Pokémon to him. Tomorrow I would face David for the championship. For now, we were just friends being friends. Talking, relaxing, reflecting.

After a moment, David looked at me. “Do you remember that summer a few years ago, when your dad took you and me and Tim out camping a few times. Mt. Moon, Viridian Forest–”

“Tohjo Falls. Yeah, I remember that.” It wasn’t long before my dad had died. After hearing us talk about going on journeys, he wanted to give us some experience in the woods.

“I don’t think I ever told you how much I appreciated that,” David said. “I don’t think I ever would have learned any of that stuff without him. I certainly wasn’t going to learn it from my mom and dad.”

I laughed. It was hard to imagine David’s parents out in the wilderness. They were… homebodies, to put it nicely. “You took it so seriously too, I remember,” I said. “Tim and I would run off to try to find Diglett burrows and you’d be back at camp hanging on to my dad’s every word about how to start a fire or whatever.”

“Yeah!” David said with a laugh. “I needed that information! I never would have survived without it. I always knew I would be mostly on my own since I’d be leaving so much earlier than the two of you. He helped me a lot.”

“Me too.”

“He was a good dad,” David said.

“He was.”

We stood in silence for a bit. “Did you ever get lonely?” I asked David. “Traveling by yourself? I still kind of wish the three of us had been able to meet up.” It was something I’d been wondering for a while.

“Nah…” he said, staring back down at the lake. “Well… a little, I guess. I mean, you know how I am. I like being by myself. Traveling with you and Tim would have been great I’m sure, but it wasn’t really my thing. I liked the independence.”

“Makes sense.”

“Besides, I wasn’t really alone. I had my Pokémon. They’re not exactly great conversationalists, but they’re company. Good company. There’s a lot of things they helped me with, and a lot I learned from them.”

“Yeah, me too. I…” A thought occurred to me. “I think that’s why I want to win so much.” David looked at me questioningly. I looked out towards where the sun was beginning to dip behind some big fluffy clouds out over Johto. “My Pokémon gave me so much. Taught me so much. Carried me so far. I need to make it all worth it. For them and for me. It’s more than a dream, it’s like… the ultimate test of everything I’ve learned on all of our adventures.” I looked back at David.

He nodded solemnly. “Well… if it’s a test you want, then it’s a test I’ll give you. I’ll be honest, part of me is rooting for you, but I fought for this position too. I won’t give it up easily.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“You know you’re my first challenger?”

“Really?”

“Well, first one I’ve faced at least. No else one has gotten this far.”

I looked at him, nodding slowly. “Huh.”

David smiled at me, then straightened up. “I have some champion business to attend to before it gets too late, but I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll be there.”

“I want you at your best,” David said as he opened the door to head back through the gym. “The best, bravest, strongest you can be.”

I stood up straight and nodded. “I will be.”

*****

The next morning was sunny, with only a few spotty clouds. I felt fresh, ready, invigorated. Perhaps more than I had a right to be given how much my team had been through so far. But there was nothing I could do about that now. The real challenge was ahead of us, not behind us. We had to push through. We could do it. More than ever before I was sure of it. We could win. We could be champions.

I was impatiently standing in the kitchen when Andrew finally knocked on the door. I opened it immediately.

“Let’s go,” I said without waiting for him to speak.

He smiled. “Let’s go.”

Andrew didn’t say anything to me on the way down to the beach. I had a feeling he was instructed not to talk too much to challengers. But he was watching me with a barely disguised smile. He used to be a journeying trainer too, I recalled. He understood this energy, the pre-battle adrenaline, the way the world drew slowly close around you until it was just you, the field, your Pokémon, and your opponent.

Lance and Lorelei were having a spirited discussion on the dock when we approached, quieting slightly as we got closer. I didn’t catch exactly what they were saying, but I knew they were talking about the upcoming battle.

Lorelei looked at me over her glasses. “We await eagerly. This… will be something else, I think.”

Lance smiled, pushing his cape back and putting his hands on his hips. “Good luck, my friend.”

They headed up onto the ship. The ten-year-old in me swooned. I kept my mouth shut to keep from embarrassing myself. I needed to focus.

A tapping on the dock came from behind me. I stepped aside to let Agatha pass. When she was about halfway up the gangway, she turned to me. She looked like she was about to say something, but decided against it and boarded the ship.

Something slammed into my shoulder, nearly pushing me into the water. Bruno had patted me on the shoulder as he passed. “Fight hard, kid.”

David was right behind him. We nodded to each other and I followed him up the ramp. To my surprise there were three more people I didn’t recognize on board. They looked up at me, but didn’t say anything. One woman began to scribble on a notepad.

“Reporters,” Lorelei whispered from a nearby seat. “In case you do anything worth reporting.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. No pressure. I headed up to the top deck, both out of habit and to avoid their gaze. The boat ride was quiet and uneventful. The excitement was starting to get to me, I think. I paced back and forth the entire time, not even staring at the mountains or water like I had the previous days. Somehow in my impatience I almost didn’t notice when we docked at the island.

Olivia, who had been standing on the upper deck with me and silently watching me pace, called to me. “Alright, we’re here. Let’s go, champ-in-making.”

I smiled at her and pointed accusingly. “Sounds like you have a favorite.”

She blushed and waved me downstairs. “Shut up and take the field.”

The battlefield was dry, flat, and clean. Just like always. Hobbs led us to the center. He looked calm and professional, but I could tell that he was also a little excited that it was coming to this. He recited his usual spiel about the rules, then looked at David. “The Champion, David Rose.” He looked at me. “The Challenger, Keith Anders.” He held his hands wide. “Whoever wins this battle will have the title of Champion of the Indigo League.” His words hung in the cool mountain air for a long moment. “Shake hands and go stand in your boxes.”

David’s handshake was firm, stronger than I was expecting. His gaze was steady and serious. He was my friend, but he wouldn’t be a pushover. He was Champion already. I was the one here with something to prove.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as I took my position and faced the field. The soft roar of the wind and the gentle lapping of water at the island’s shore transformed into the thunderous cheering of the crowd in the stadium in Viridian. Only a select few would be able to watch our battle, but it still felt like all eyes were on us. Everything that I had done for the past year came down to this. I ran my fingers along my Poké Balls as David pulled his first ball from his belt. Something felt so… right. Everything about this moment. This was where I was meant to be. My whole life had led the this.

David wasn’t flashy. He was calm, practical, thoughtful. I noticed that all three balls on his belt were plain red and white Poké Balls. I couldn’t catch the glint of emerald that would indicate that one of them held his starter, but that was a likely bet. Regardless, standard Poké Balls indicated he’d had these Pokémon for a long time. No fancy tech to catch a powerful or rare Pokémon. Just time and effort and experience with Pokémon he’d likely had since the beginning of his journey. I could respect that. He pulled off one of the balls and looked at it.

“Septaria,” he said, his voice clear and fervent. “Take this battle.” He threw the ball forward. The familiar red light coalesced into the shape of a round Pokémon. Bipedal, with a rocky spherical shell, David’s Golem growled loudly and stomped its feet.

I paused. It seemed almost too easy. This was a Pokémon that I had two clear counters to. He had his pick of his entire team of six, and this was one of the three he chose? Knowing what I was coming in with? It was too simple. An answer to Zyanya’s fire and electricity perhaps, but this thing would be incredibly susceptible to both Gideon and Rainer. Yet I couldn’t underestimate David. Part of me wanted to put Zyanya in just to see what would happen. No… despite the fact that it felt like a trap, I had to spring it and hope for the best. If he did something really unexpected, I could at least minimize the damage. I threw Gideon’s ball out onto the field.

I heard David say a single word before I could even connect with Gideon. “Go.”

The Golem, Septaria, tucked its arms and legs inside its body and began to spin, spraying dust and pebbles across the field. I struggled to connect to Gideon. He’d need my advice for how to counter this before-

Septaria sped across the field like a pinball. I felt the link of consciousness with Gideon right as he decided to counter with a head-on Aqua Jet. Not surprising, but likely the wrong call. Gideon blasted forward to meet Septaria’s Rollout. They collided in a spray of water and dirt. I knew the outcome through my connection before I could really see what had happened. Powerlessness and frustration. The Golem rolled right on through Gideon and skidded to a stop in front of me, uncurling and jumping to its feet. I could swear its lizard-like face smirked at me for the briefest moment before it tucked back in again and started to roll back the way it came. Gideon was scrambling to his feet where he had been crushed into the ground.

Telling Gideon to dodge and wait for his chance wouldn’t work. It never did. But just letting him be aggressive wouldn’t cut it either. This Golem was a defensive tank, yet Rollout forced engagement on its own terms. A powerful combo, if not exactly unexpected for a Golem. The real strength of it was that it was exactly the kind of thing Gideon couldn’t deal with easily. He lacked the brute force to stop Septaria, and was too stubborn to use his speed to dodge it. But these hits were taking their toll. Gideon was already not in perfect condition after the last few days of fighting, and being smashed multiple times by a giant rolling rock was not doing him any favors. He was hurt and tired, and he likely couldn’t take much more. I had to try.

Do that again, but dodge before impact.

Gideon summoned another Aqua Jet. He seemed hesitant. It’s either listen to me or get crushed again. I sensed his grudging acceptance. There was a layer of trust there now that I hadn’t felt before yesterday. We were finally getting somewhere.

Gideon and Septaria played their high-speed game of chicken once more, but this time Gideon cut to the side. He slid to a stop and flung a passing Mud Shot at the Golem that splattered harmlessly on its shell.

Ice Beam. Try to freeze it in place.

Septaria’s next Rollout may have been slowed by the thin blue-white beam. Maybe. A tiny bit. But it bowled right through Gideon once more. I could feel his frustration begin to blossom into rage as he pushed himself upright again. I was losing control of this fight. Of my Pokémon. In fairness, Septaria did have some ice crystals on it that seemed to slightly hinder its movement as it reoriented itself in front of me for another pass. But with a growl and a flex, the crystals shattered.

I collected myself and tried to force my commands through the fog of Gideon’s growing anger. The ground this time. If you can make it slippery it will be easy to dodge. They’ll make a mistake at some point and you can pounce.

To my surprise, Gideon acquiesced. It seems we had made some progress after all. Ice Beam wasn’t great at freezing large swaths of ground—Gideon was no ice-type—but by the time Septaria came rolling back, Gideon had frozen a sizable patch of the battlefield like a gleaming iced over pond. Gideon dashed forward onto the ice to meet his foe, his claws digging in to keep from slipping. Like a bullfighter, he dodged to the side at the last second and slashed a blade into the Golem as it sped by. The effect was immediate. Septaria spun across the ice, completely off target. Its limbs remerged and it tried to steady itself as it skidded off the patch of ice and onto regular dirt, where it awkwardly somersaulted and tried to stand up again.

I didn’t even have to give Gideon the order to attack. As soon as Septaria began to wipe out, Gideon took off after it with an Aqua Jet. The attack splashed into the Golem, but Gideon did not rebound. He dug his rear claws into Septaria’s back and began slashing away. Septaria roared as Gideon chipped off bits of its shell with his scythes. It rolled back to its feet and grabbed ahold of Gideon, pulling him off with ease. Gideon tried to slash at Septaria’s face, but he didn’t have much of an opportunity before he was thrown a good twenty feet across the battlefield.

“Earthquake, Septaria.” It was the first proper command that I had heard David give. That was good, it meant we were getting in the way of whatever plan he had prepared beforehand. Earthquake, however, was not good.

The Golem jumped up and slammed its fists into the ground. The entire island shook. Remembering Bruno’s Steelix, I widened my stance in order to maintain my footing. Gideon was not so lucky. He stumbled as the battlefield waved and cracked underneath him. Our carefully placed puddle of ice shattered into useless shards, already melting in the sun. Septaria’s hands remained firmly on the ground, but it was glaring across the field at Gideon.

“Continue,” David said calmly.

The Earthquake ceased immediately as Septaria tucked all of its limbs back into its shell and began to spin, kicking up dirt and now tiny shards of ice. The thumping and crunching sounded like a small avalanche.

Careful! My warning wasn’t much help. Gideon was shaken and having trouble getting his feet under himself. He had barely staggered into a fighting stance when he was once again flattened by a Rollout. He desperately tried to push himself back upright as Septaria circled around for another pass. I was flustered, desperately trying to think of a counter. Desperately trying to tell Gideon something, anything. It didn’t matter. Septaria rolled over Gideon once more. This time he didn’t get up.

Olivia blew her whistle. “The challenger’s Kabutops is unable to battle!”

I breathed deeply, trying to let the panic pass. It didn’t matter anymore. He was done. I recalled Gideon to his ball. It was going to happen eventually. I was surprised it hadn’t happened against Lance, but instead he had managed to pull out a victory there. It was never going to last. He was tired. All my Pokémon were tired. I was tired. But I wasn’t finished.

Septaria’s combination of relentlessness and powerful defenses had been the perfect counter to Gideon. It was about more than type matchups; it was about pure effectiveness. It was about clashing strategies. David had known exactly who I was bringing in and how I would use them. With that information, he could clearly formulate a plan to finish off each of my Pokémon. There was no other way to explain how few commands he gave. Did this mean that he also had a plan ready for Rainer? Or was that what his inevitable Venusaur was for? And what about Zyanya? That didn’t matter now. Right now, I had to beat what was in front of me. I threw Rainer’s ball forward.

I knew Rainer had injuries. I had seen him receive plenty over the past two days. I knew he was tired. I knew he had been through a lot. But he didn’t show it. Not even in the slightest. The Blastoise in front of me squared up to fight just as readily as he had at the beginning of this challenge. Just as readily as he had at the beginning of this journey. This was fitting, now that I thought of it. Rainer had taken down Brock’s Geodude. I had been tired from spending all night getting out of Viridian Forest, but Rainer had pulled through for me. My first victory. Our first. We’d done it many times since. We’d do it again.

Septaria dug its feet into the earth, likely preparing for another Rollout. Let them come. Rainer would not be bowled over as easily as Gideon had.

I slipped easily into connection with Rainer. I focused on images of what Gideon had just gone through to give Rainer an idea of what we were up against. I felt only confidence and determination in return. Hydro Pump will slow it. You will stop it. Rainer understood. That was his plan too.

David gave no command. Whatever plan he had made was holding. I wasn’t too bothered. He was always going to expect Rainer versus a Golem, that didn’t mean he had a proper answer for it.

Once again, Septaria tucked and spun. Rainer lowered his cannons and fired away right as Septaria began to roll. Water blasted the Golem backwards before it could even start to get any momentum. The Hydro Pump’s ricochet sprayed into the air and across the field like a massive fountain, raining droplets of water as far out as my trainer’s box. Septaria roared in displeasure and unfurled, striking the ground for another Earthquake.

Rainer cut short his Hyrdo Pump and got down on all fours for stability as the island began to rumble and shudder once again. He would not be affected that badly by the attack, but he wouldn’t be able to fire as accurately with the ground trembling under him like this. But it didn’t last long. Septaria curled up again and spun off towards Rainer before the field had even stopped shaking.

I didn’t understand why they were so eager to hit with Rollout. It wouldn’t last long. They had to know that Rainer was sturdy enough to stop it in its tracks. And once that happened, a close-range Hydro Pump would spell the end for them. So what was the goal? Damage at any cost? Then why not stick with Earthquake?

By the time Rainer had recovered from the Earthquake and readied his cannons again, Septaria already had too much speed to stop with a Hydro Pump. I racked my brain for what kinds of things a Golem would be able to do… then I realized.

Blast it! Don’t let it get close!

Orange light glowed in the cracks of the Golem’s spinning form as it sped across the field. Rainer carefully leveled his cannons and let loose another Hydro Pump. This time I had to shield my eyes from the spray as the jet of water howled against the oncoming Golem. The blast didn’t seem to fully stop it. Septaria was still spinning away and making progress towards Rainer, now glowing brighter.

And then the Golem exploded.

The shockwave knocked me on my ass and a massive CRACK resounded off the mountains, echoing for longer than it took the dust to clear. I stood back up, brushing myself off. Septaria lay face down in the middle of the field, unmoving. Between it and me was Rainer’s huge shell, where he hid fully withdrawn. He tentatively stuck his head out and looked around. A whistle sounded, barely audible over the ringing in my ears.

“The Champion’s Golem is unable to battle.”

Rainer creakily pushed himself back to his feet. A little battered, but still upright. That was too close. David had very nearly taken down two of my Pokémon with only one of his own.

David looked thoughtful as he recalled his Golem and stowed its ball. I wondered if that was part of his plan too. Septaria would beat Gideon then explode to try to take out another. A sort of pre-calculated desperation.

I watched Rainer shake himself off. You okay? Certainty and drive radiated back across our connection, but they felt like a front. He was exhausted. Beat-up. I only had him and Zyanya at this point. I needed to be careful. Technically we were now tied, but my two remaining Pokémon had just slogged through this entire challenge alongside me, while whatever David had in store was completely fresh. I had no idea what that might be. If a Golem had been the answer to Gideon, with the Explosion as a backup to try to take down Rainer, then what else could he have up his sleeve? Venusaur seemed the obvious direct answer to Rainer, but what would he do about Zyanya?

David took his next ball from his belt, tossed it gently in his hand, then threw it onto the field. Red light became a massive pair of feathered wings and a long, crooked neck. My heart dropped. The Fearow’s terrible screeching call echoed off the mountains just like it had echoed through the trees before those Skyguard had killed Baron. Just like it had echoed through the streets of Saffron during our desperate nighttime entrance. The scars on my face twinged. I froze, trying to collect myself, but also a slave to the torrent of emotions pouring through me.

“Ardea, from the sky,” David said simply. The Fearow took off, flapping her huge wings to slowly gain altitude. Rainer didn’t wait for me. He bellowed a challenge and aimed his cannons, shooting multiple times, but he was unable to track her ascent. Plumes of water from his Hydro Pumps hung awkwardly in the air for brief moments before gravity pulled them down to slap loudly on the ground past David, likely raining down on him significantly as well.

“Watch those,” Olivia said. “It’s not dangerous, but I called a foul on Lorelei for something similar in your match with her.”

Still somewhat overwhelmed, I just nodded in response and forced myself to focus on the silhouette of the Fearow in the sky, despite the memories that it brought. This was now. Not then. A white light shined from Ardea’s beak.

Hyper Beam! Rainer was already withdrawing into his shell. The pearlescent laser cut through the sky and hit Rainer square on with as loud WUMPH that kicked dust into the air. I could feel the heat of the attack on my skin. Despite all that, Rainer seemed okay. He’d blocked the attack, and Ardea wasn’t great with moves like that anyway. It was their only real ranged option.

Rainer popped back out of his shell. Hydro Pump. He blasted water into the air, nearly straight up. It slowed to a stop far short of Ardea and rained back down, pattering innocuously across the whole field. I racked my brain, trying to think if Rainer had any options that would be able to reach that far, but there was nothing.

Several seconds passed. Ardea circled. Rainer growled in frustration. Then another flash of white light shone from above. Rainer managed to roll out of the way of this one. The beam slammed harmlessly into the earth a few feet shy of Rainer, leaving a smoking mark in the dirt.

Hyper Beams were exhausting, which normally resulted in a moment of weakness after using one. But Ardea was high up in the sky, gliding comfortably on massive wings while she caught her breath. And that whole time she was well out of range of Rainer’s cannons. Rainer could take a number of beams, and just as many would likely miss, but if the point of this battle of attrition was to wait until Ardea got tired and landed we would almost certainly lose. They’d chip away at Rainer bit by bit, and lose nothing in return.

I growled alongside Rainer. This was infuriating, but we had no choice. I raised Rainer’s ball and recalled him.

Ardea shrieked at the loss of her prey. The sound chilled me to my bones, making my stomach swoop as I fell through the sky. I knew where I was, but my body was reacting like I was plummeting downwards above the forest west of Saffron. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into the palms of my hands. The sting of pain helped center me in the moment.

A few seconds later I heard Olivia. “Hey, Keith. You okay? Swap timer’s on.”

My fingers tightened around Zyanya’s Safari Ball. She had dealt with the last Fearow I had faced; she could deal with this one. It was what she evolved for. I threw the ball forward.

When Zyanya appeared, she countered the Fearow’s screech with a songlike roar of her own. I closed my eyes and calmed my mind, leaning into our connection. To my surprise, there was not the initial shock of feeling something else’s emotions. Zyanya felt the same way as me. Fear, apprehension, hurt…

This isn’t then. I told myself as much as her. Be brave. Be strong. You beat them then, and this is nothing compared to that.

Ardea had been circling lower while I swapped Pokémon, but now she beat her wings and climbed. Zyanya took off in pursuit.

Electric attacks. This shouldn’t be too hard. A Fearow couldn’t have been Rainer’s counter. It was too easy to swap out of, since I had no apparent chance. Did that mean this was supposed to be David’s answer to Zyanya? It seemed unlikely. Fearow were generally pretty inflexible. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be dangerous.

Zyanya was still approaching, but she didn’t need to get close. Lightning crackled between her antennae and lanced up through the air at Ardea. David’s Fearow deftly tucked her wings and rolled out of the way, transitioning smoothly into a dive that caught Zyanya off guard. She didn’t use her beak or talons, instead opting to slap Zyanya across the face with her wing and swept past, never spending too much time within range of Zyanya’s claws. If Zyanya could just catch her, this would be over quickly.

Zyanya spun around with the blow, flaring her wings to avoid losing too much altitude. I had to remind myself she wasn’t Baron. She’d only had her wings for a few days. Flight came naturally to her, but she hadn’t mastered it quite yet. She was powerful, fast and strong, but so was David’s Fearow. David was the champion, and this was a champion’s Pokémon. Not some standard issue Team Rocket tool. She far exceeded the strength and ability of any Fearow I had seen before.

David himself appeared calm. His arms were crossed as he watched the aerial battle with an unreadable expression. They were out of range of verbal commands, short of shouting as loud as he could. That didn’t seem to bother him. They still had a plan then. Or perhaps some other form of communication… I decided to keep an eye on him.

Ardea did her dive bomb Wing Attack again. Zyanya fell a bit lower this time. She was tired and hurt, I could feel it through our connection. Her muscles ached, her wings strained, she could feel soreness in her claws every time her heart beat. Yesterday had been tough, and we hadn’t fully been able to recover from it. She caught on to my pity and drove all thoughts of tiredness from her mind. She didn’t want me to see her weakness, but it was apparent nonetheless.

Just hold on. I believe in you. Try to slow it down with a Thunderwave next time it gets close.

Zyanya took off after Ardea, who had begun to climb again. She spat out a Flamethrower that looked like it was just about to singe the Fearow’s tail feathers when Ardea tucked into a somersault. The flames billowed and scattered, never quite touching her. She beat her wings once, dissipating the remaining fire, and dove back down at Zyanya.

I could feel Zyanya’s determination. Her grit. I could feel the energy coursing through her as blue light arced between her antennae. Ardea didn’t seem to notice, diving in for another Wing Attack. Zyanya tried to dodge, but Ardea was too fast, and her wings too big. But this time when Zyanya was sent spinning away, a web of blue electricity scattered through the sky. Ardea twitched and screeched as the lightning pulsed over her. She couldn’t climb back up, not before Zyanya had recovered. This time, we had the height advantage.

Perfect. Now pounce. Zyanya descended on the paralyzed Fearow.

For some reason David seemed entirely unperturbed. He uncrossed his arms, but then just put his hands in his pockets. We were about to tear his Pokémon to shreds and he wasn’t remotely bothered. I knew him well enough to be able to tell that something was up. Whatever plan he had, we hadn’t shaken it yet. We may even be playing into it.

Careful. It was perhaps my most common command this whole challenge. And never terribly useful.

Ardea was falling quickly. She appeared to be purposefully diving now. She reached the ground well before Zyanya caught up to her, flaring her wings and stretching out her talons to land neatly. But she didn’t stop, instead leaping back upwards to meet Zyanya head on. Zyanya didn’t have time to slow down, and wasn’t expecting the sudden reversal. This time Ardea struck not with her wings, but drove her beak directly towards Zyanya’s chest. It gashed across her body, sending a few scales flying free. I felt Zyanya’s shock through our connection.

Façade. Damn. She’s still slow though. Stay close to the ground.

Throughout all of this, David still hadn’t said anything. No verbal commands, no hand signals. He wasn’t psychic. That’s not the kind of thing he would have kept to himself. I was still worried. A Fearow was such a strange choice. Nevertheless, it seemed to be working. They must have known we’d open with Thunderwave to slow them down, giving them an opportunity to catch us by surprise with Façade. But that couldn’t be as far as it went…

Zyanya dropped to the ground feet first, landing heavily. She was trying to catch her breath, but Ardea was relentless. Her huge wings made for relaxed gliding and soaring long distances now beat furiously for rapid acceleration. She came in beak first once more, but this time Zyanya was ready. She caught the beak with her claws, grabbing hold and taking flight. Talons and wings whaled away at her, but to no avail. I tried not to think about the last time I had seen those talons up close and personal. Sharp. Deadly.

Zyanya spun the Fearow around once and then hurled it down into the ground. She had beaten those Fearow too. She could beat this one, no matter how strong it was. No matter how well prepared they were for us. We weren’t going to lose here.

Shock it and pin it.

I could feel Zyanya’s exhaustion, the weight of her own body dragging her downward, the raggedness of her breathing. But her resolve did not waiver. Mustering the last of her strength, Zyanya roared and sent a bolt of lightning crashing down, blasting Ardea before she had a chance to recover. She followed it with her own body, slamming into Ardea and pinning the Fearow’s wings with her claws.

Suddenly electricity flashed between them again, but it was not from Zyanya. It shot out of Ardea’s mouth, coursing through Zyanya and making her jump back in shock and confusion.

I stammered for a brief moment before realizing what had happened. Mirror Move. It was such a simple, unexpected thing. In this case it wouldn’t do much to Zyanya, but once again it was guaranteed damage that was certain to catch us off guard. Zyanya roared through her pain and weariness, leaping back on top of Ardea before she could get her feet under her. Zyanya was relentless, reminding me more of Gideon than herself. She refused to quit. Refused to lose.

She pinned Ardea’s wings again and sent another Thunderbolt through her. She maintained the electricity for as long as she could, growling and straining to keep the Fearow in place. Another Mirror Move flashed, adding to the chaos of lightning crackling between the two of them. Zyanya roared again. We had them down, we would not let them up until the fight was over. The electricity finally faded several seconds later. Ardea was not struggling as aggressively, but Zyanya was weak too. Electricity began to dance between her antennae again, but she was interrupted when Fearow’s body dissolved into red lights. They’d given up.

David’s line referee blew his whistle. “Withdraw from grapple. The Pokémon is forfeit.”

I breathed deeply in relief, but my heartrate still shot up. Two down. One to go. Only one Pokémon stood between me and the championship. David looked thoughtful as he carefully stowed his Fearow’s Poké Ball. He clearly had a plan. I didn’t think it involved Zyanya actually winning that fight, but he had a plan. Recalling David’s team, he didn’t have an obvious answer to Zyanya. He was probably afraid we’d be able to rain fire from above on any of his grounded Pokémon. So, he’d opted for his flyer, who was at least fast enough to do some damage. He probably assumed he had enough tricks up his sleeve to get the KO against an already beat up Zyanya, even if it wasn’t the best matchup on paper.

Zyanya hadn’t moved since Ardea was recalled. She was down on all fours, breathing heavily. Her wings and limbs shook with exhaustion. That had been close. Perhaps closer than I was giving David credit for. You’ve done amazing. She shakily stood up and looked at me, her eyes and mind filled with a confidence that belied her physical state. My heart swelled. To think that I had entered this challenge thinking she was one of my weaker Pokémon. But there was no hint of her relative inexperience anywhere to be found. I’m so proud of you. Joy and love shone through our connection.

I can take you out if you want. You’ve done so much more than I ever could have expected. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than denial and determination from her burned it away. She wanted to finish this. All the way to the end. Fight until she couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t take that away from her.

I was practically vibrating, but David appeared calm, even though he was down to his last Pokémon. His eyes were closed and he was turning his last Poké Ball over in his hands, running his thumb over the surface. Hobbs pointed at him, indicating he only had a few seconds left to send out his final Pokémon. David threw the ball forward with more strength than the previous two. Perhaps he was getting excited.

The scent of flowers both sweet and bitter, both fresh and rotting, caught on the breeze as David’s starter materialized on the field. The Venusaur shook himself off, sending a plume of pollen falling gently to the ground. He was bigger than any Venusaur I’d seen before. Squat and strong, with lush fronds and a healthy pink flower growing proudly on his back.

“Alright Raff, this is it,” David said. “You’re the one who got me here. The title of Champion is as much yours as it is mine. Let’s defend it.”

Raff roared in response. It was a low, guttural sound that rumbled in my chest, but was not loud enough to echo like so many battle cries had over the last few days. It was not a roar of dominance or bravado, but simple confidence. They had won dozens of battles together. They could win this one too.

Zyanya shifted. She didn’t have much left in the tank, but she was ready nonetheless. We had won plenty of battles ourselves. We would win this one.

Alright. You were always going to be our best bet against this thing. Keep your distance and use fire.

Zyanya spread her wings and took to the sky. Raff watched her carefully and spread his fronds. The flower on his back flexed forward slightly.

That’s Solar Beam. Keep your distance.

Scattered lights danced across Raff’s flower, mingling together in the center to form a bright ball. The beam itself was nearly silent, only audible as a subtle hiss in the air, but it seared a line into my retinas as it lasered into the sky at Zyanya. Fortunately, she saw the attack coming and managed to roll out of the way. Getting in close might have given us an opportunity to disrupt the beam, but it would also make hitting Zyanya a lot easier. We had to avoid taking damage at all costs. Zyanya was too hurt already.

Now. Dive and Flamethrower.

Zyanya tucked her wings and plunged downwards, belching flames as soon as she was close enough to do some real damage, about ten meters up. The fire washed over Raff, completely obscuring him from view. Almost immediately a pair of vines thrust out of the flames and grabbed at Zyanya, winding themselves around Zyanya’s legs. Her own flames had prevented her from being able to see them coming.

The fire faded as Zyanya shifted her attention to trying to escape her bonds. Raff appeared in the midst of the dissolving flames, a little charred but still more than fighting fit. Zyanya slashed at the vine wrapped around her left leg, slicing it clean off with only two swipes of her claws. But she was already being pulled downward. Raff groaned and retracted the severed vine back into his flower so quickly that it audibly whipped in the air. No sooner had the injured vine disappeared than a fresh one shot forth from between his fronds. Zyanya tried to slap it away with her tail, but it managed to grab right back on to her leg. Her wings beat furiously, but she was being dragged lower and lower. I could tell she was struggling.

Zyanya inhaled for another flamethrower, but even that slight shift in focus was enough for Raff to pluck her from the sky like an apple and slam her into the ground. She hit the dirt hard, blasting up a cloud of dust. Wings and tail flailing, Zyanya spun and scrambled to face her opponent, but the vines began to creep further, pulling and twisting, forcing her off balance. Meanwhile, Raff’s flower tilted slightly to catch the sun and tendrils of energy began flowing along its fronds. Solar Beam again. Zyanya couldn’t escape. This would be their finisher.

Fire. All you can manage.

I could feel Zyanya’s frustration with herself. With her sluggishness and exhaustion.

I know. I’m proud of you. Everything you’ve done. We can bring it home.

Zyanya roared her songlike cry one last time and spewed a Flamethrower at Raff. Fire met raw solar energy. The searing light and heat forced me to turn my eyes away, but I stayed connected with Zyanya. The Solar Beam caught her in the chest and knocked her over backward, blasting her scales with concentrated sunlight. She fell, and she did not get back up.

Olivia blew her whistle.

“The Challenger’s Dragonite is unable to battle!” I was already recalling her. Nerves had me reacting like every second mattered, even though I had plenty of time to send out my next Pokémon. Not like I had to think about which one that would be…

I tried to stop myself from shaking. We were so close to victory, and so close to defeat. I had only one Pokémon left. One of six, compared to the fourteen we had beaten. We’d come so far. We’d fought so hard to get here. I placed my hand on my final Poké Ball and pulled in slow motion, feeling the magnetic clasp strain and then snap open as it disengaged. For the final time in by entire journey, I threw the ball onto the field, reveling in every instant as the smooth metal slipped from my fingers. A pop, a hiss, the familiar flash of red light. Rainer stood before me, facing down his final opponent. I slipped easily into our connection, every memory of traveling and battling alongside Rainer washing over me, over us. Brock, Misty, Silph Tower. His evolutions, my evolutions. We had spent so long apart, but it wasn’t enough to break our bond. We’d set out on this journey together and we would finish it together, win or lose.

This is it. Common sense says it’s not gonna happen. We lose the type matchup. We lose on energy. We probably even lose on experience. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I had a choice of any other Pokémon on the team, even Flareth or Psyke, I’d still choose you. If I could go back now and pick a Charmander, I wouldn’t. I’d still choose you. If I could have Criss’s Flareon, Lance’s Dragonite, even Project Titan itself, I wouldn’t.

I choose you. And I always will.


Rainer bellowed, calling out his strength of spirit for all to hear. Raff responded in kind. Rainer’s cannons flashed in the morning sun as he lowered them and blasted off a Hydro Pump that caught Raff’s Solar Beam halfway across the field. The two attacks collided, scattering in heat and steam and dust with a terrific explosion.

I stood strong and blinked through the cloud of dust, wind whipping at my jacket. The air smelled musty. Sweat, ozone, dirt, water, and through it all: flowers. I smiled. Smelled like a Pokémon battle.

When the smoke cleared, neither one of our Pokémon looked like they had even been touched. Rainer growled and lowered his cannons again. Another Hydro Pump would beat out another Solar Beam, even if it wasn’t going to do as much damage. It’d keep them distracted. But Raff didn’t tilt his flower to catch the sun again. Instead, he plunged his vines into the earth and growled a response to Rainer.

“All out, Raff. Nothing more to hold back,” David said calmly. Then, voice shaking slightly, more urgently, more excitedly than any of his previous commands, he continued. “Give ‘em everything we have.”

Raff roared and two more vines unfurled from the plant on his back. I flinched. I’d always thought they only really had the two at a time. The mighty Venusaur shook his flower, scattering seeds and pollen and whatever else. The two new vines lashed out at Rainer. He managed to barely get a quick shot out of his cannons that caught Raff in the shoulder before the vines caught him. One slapped him across the face while the other wrapped around his right shoulder cannon and pushed it upward.

Rainer groaned. Direct pressure on one of his cannons like that did not feel pleasant. I could sense it through our connection. Like my arm was being pushed out of its socket from the inside. He tried to claw at the vine, but the second vine grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. He angrily bit down on it, severing the vine but chomping on his own arm more than anything.

He can’t push effectively with appendages like that, just whip and pull. Get this fight close and your cannons will have to cause some damage.

Rainer lurched forward, but didn’t get far before Raff’s first two vines burst from the ground and wrapped themselves around his ankles, pulling him down into the dirt and making it impossible to do more than slide his feet forward along the ground.

Rainer roared and shifted his attentions back to the vine around his cannon. This time he managed to pull it down within range of his mouth to chomp it clean off. But where Raff had previously pulled wounded vines back to recover, this time he instead pressed on. Both vines wrapped themselves around Rainer’s midsection and yanked him straight down to the ground with a dull womp. Despite being belly in the dirt, Rainer’s cannons were now aligned with their target, and he wasted no time in firing them.

The water caught Raff in the face, making him splutter and shake his head. As Raff blindly tried to push Rainer such that the terrific jet of water wouldn’t hit him anymore, I watched as tiny tendrils crept out from the buds on the ends of the vines holding Rainer’s feet. They snaked around the vines themselves, then Rainer’s legs, slipping between his scales. It was like watching a timelapse of kudzu claiming an untended porch. I felt tingling around my own ankles, although whether that was from our connection or simple empathy I couldn’t tell.

Then I felt Rainer groan. A dull green glow pulsed along the tendrils and the vines reaching out of the ground. His energy.

Mega Drain. Giga Drain. I don’t know. I named the technique because I could. Because it made me feel like I was contributing something. Rainer was struggling. In pain. And I couldn’t think of a way out.

Break free. You have to.

He was trying. Trying so hard.

“Now!” David shouted.

The vines’ grip slackened and they began to retreat. Rainer managed to push himself up a little bit, but Raff had begun galloping across the field towards him. Rainer didn’t have time to brace, and took the tackle directly in the chest. It hurt, but not badly enough. They had made a mistake. We could capitalize.

You can win the close quarters. Just don’t let him get away.

Rainer went in head first. His forehead smacked Raff between the eyes, disorienting the Venusaur enough for Rainer to get his stubby arms wrapped around Raff’s neck from above. He leaned over, pressing all of his weight on his opponent, and began to tear into the fronds on Raff’s back with his mouth. Raff let out a loud croak of surprise and pain as leaves and foliage scattered through the air. No special powers needed. Rainer was strong enough to take this thing down.

Then David spoke up. “Like we practiced, buddy. You have ‘em where you want ‘em. Distract and disengage!”

There was a soft popping sound and suddenly the air around Raff’s flower—and Rainer’s head—was full of a smoke of purple spores.

No!

Rainer inhaled them before either of us even realized what was happening. The spores caught in his lungs and made him cough and weaken his grip. The vines reawakened, shooting out from the crumpled mess of Raff’s fronds and grasping at Rainer once more. Raff easily slipped away and began to scuttle backwards, scuffing the dirt. He was pushing himself away with his vines as much as he was actually walking.

I tried to check in on Rainer, pushing myself deeper into our connection. His breathing was choked. The spores clogged his throat and pulsed through his veins. Every heartbeat throbbed throughout his body. He was tired. Hurt. He had been before this fight even started.

“Finish it!” David cried, punching the air.

All four of Raff’s vines disengaged, pulling back and rearing up like a snake ready to strike its prey. They spun and wound around each other, coiling into one single limb the size of a small tree trunk. Raff roared and the giant vine pulsed green, energy coursing along it and molding it to grow thorns the size of my fist. I’d never seen Frenzy Plant pulled off in person, but it was clear why this was their finisher. Rainer staggered forward, trying to lower his cannons, but I could sense his vision was blurring. His reflexes were slowing. Even if I could think of a way to counter or block this, he likely wouldn’t be able to execute. Not anymore.

Frenzy Plant wasn’t a smooth, elegant motion like Vine Whip. It was sheer brute force. The vine slammed into Rainer from the side with the force of a tree falling on him, which was roughly what it sounded like. He wasn’t even able to brace himself. The impact of the attack echoed through our connection, making me wince. Rainer was sent tumbling diagonally backwards head over heels, ending up splaying awkwardly on his back. His weight pressed his shell slightly into the dirt. His limbs hung uselessly. I feared the worst.

But before Olivia could make the call, Rainer groaned and curled his head upwards like he was doing a sit-up. He swung his arms and tipped over, landing on his stomach. He was still conscious, still moving, despite it all. Somehow. Fighting fit? Not exactly. But he wasn’t going down. I choked up a little bit. He never went down.

The Frenzy Plant limb unfurled into its requisite vines, which retreated to their panting owner. Raff looked worn down, shaky. That attack had taken a lot out of him. Judging by the look on David’s face, he hadn’t expected Rainer to survive it. It would take them a moment to recover, but Rainer would need that moment for recovery too.

Rainer, I…

He glared at me as he shakily pushed himself to his feet. He staggered slightly and turned back to face our opponent. He crouched and lowered his cannons.

But Raff had recovered first. Two vines lashed out, wrapping themselves around Rainer’s arms. Two more plunged into the ground and came up under Rainer’s feet, tying him to the earth. The tiny Mega Drain tendrils began to creep out once again, worming their way between his scales. Rainer fell to his knees, his breathing haggard through the poison. I hadn’t given him a command in a while. I had no idea what to do. But he refused to give up.

My heart broke watching him.

It was over. Even if he wouldn’t admit it. He wanted it so bad. Maybe more than me. And I’d failed him. I was struggling to breathe.

I’m sorry, buddy. I couldn’t do it.

Rainer groaned and pushed himself up so he was only on one knee.

I should have had a plan for this. But I didn’t. It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t have to keep pushing through this.

He shakily dragged his other foot back under him.

I tried to disguise a dry sob as a cough. I think I’m going to… I couldn’t find it in me to even think the words. I raised my left hand. “Olivia, I…”

Rainer didn’t even turn his head to look at me. Just cocked it sideways.

And I knew the look on his face.

I’d seen it before. So many times before. Not just on him.

In my mind I saw him again back at that courtyard at the Indigo Plateau, just a few short days ago when I wasn’t sure about signing up for this challenge. I saw Baron, just a Pidgeotto then, glaring at me on that hilltop north of Celadon as we looked down on the Rockets attacking the police Growlithe trainer. Baron had given me the same look before he’d cut me loose and let me drop into that pond, saving my life. Giving up his own. If I wouldn’t do it, he would.

My Pokémon had never given up on me. Who was I to give up on them?

I clenched my fists and fought back tears. I could do it. I would do it. I wasn’t going to force my Pokémon make that decision for me.

If Rainer refused to lose, then so did I.

Olivia had her whistle at the ready. “What’s up, Keith? You calling it?”

I shook my head. “No. Nevermind.”

We can do this. A pang of respect, of love, of mutual understanding reflected between me and Rainer. Warmth. Hold on.

David had his arms crossed. He was thoughtful. I knew he’d expected to win by now. Maybe win at any moment as Raff drained Rainer’s life force away. He didn’t understand why we hadn’t given in yet. I wouldn’t expect him to.

Raff looked exhausted. This whole battle had been taxing, and he’d taken more than a few hits. In fact, he still looked a little disoriented. He kept blinking and squinting, like his eyes wouldn’t focus right. Maybe that headbutt had caused more damage than expected. In fact, close range combat had been pretty devastating. That Poison Powder hurt, but it’s not like he could do it again. I scanned along the vines holding Rainer in place. Tying him to his opponent.

Rainer?

My starter huffed.

Pull him into range. Then finish this in melee.

Our emotional connection flared. I poured everything I had into it. I focused on my determination. My passion. Rainer roared. He didn’t slash at the vines with his claws. Instead, he wrapped them even further, furling the vines around his wrists and pulling. What little slack was in the vines was soon taken out. Raff’s eyes widened. So did David’s.

Pull.

Rainer yanked his right arm hard. Raff slid forward a foot. His feet scrambled, kicking up dust. Rainer coiled up the slack and yanked his left arm. Raff slid forward another foot. Rainer pulled again and again, like one of the fisherman I’d often seen in Pallet Town hauling in a net full of fish. The tendrils around Rainer’s feet unwound and retreated back into the earth, and eventually back into Raff’s fronds. Rainer kept pulling.

“Dig in!” David cried. Desperation was apparent in his voice.

Raff tried to do as commanded, forcing his feet into the packed soil. It was to little avail. Rainer kept pulling him closer and closer. The two vines that had just retreated dug into the ground behind Raff, but they didn’t have much to hold on to. The Venusaur kept sliding closer.

Eventually, Raff was only a few feet away.

“Solar Beam!” David said. “Point blank!”

They didn’t have time. With a mighty jerk of both arms, Rainer pulled Raff into headbutt range and let him have it. Two loud smacks resounded across the field as Rainer headbutted him twice. Raff, barely conscious, tried to focus a solar beam. Beads of energy began forming on his flower.

Rainer got down on all fours and leveled his cannons.

Grass resists water. Ideally. I’d heard it said that some Blastoise were capable of punching holes in steel with their cannons. I don’t think Rainer was going for quite that, but nevertheless. A firehose directly to the forehead would be devastating for anyone.

The water cracked when it hit Raff in the face. Rainer only held him there for a second before letting the vines go. Raff was sent tumbling back across the field, past his starting position, past David, out of bounds.

David’s line referee raised his hand as Rainer eased off his water cannons, starting the out of bonds timer. Raff had only a few seconds to rejoin the fight.

Raff staggered to his feet. I heard David muttering encouragement, but it sounded empty. The Venusaur took a slow, shaky step forward. Then another. Then he collapsed.

David’s line referee blew his whistle.

Chief Referee Hobbs blew his whistle three times.

Part of me wishes I’d paid more attention in those few seconds to hear an official League referee naming me the victor and new champion of the Indigo League. But in the moment, I didn’t care. I was sprinting onto the field and tackling Rainer from behind with a hug that was probably more aggressive than it should have been.

Rainer turned and awkwardly rested his wide head on my shoulder. My tears flowed freely.

We did it.

Over Rainer’s shoulder I watched David slowly walk up to Raff and crouch down. He stroked his Venusaur’s head a couple times, then recalled him to his Poké Ball. He stayed crouched for a few seconds after, staring at the ground where his starter had fallen, then slowly stood up. I watched him roll his shoulders, then he turned to approach. I pulled away from Rainer. I was vaguely aware of the reporters and the rest of the Elite Four striding towards us from the dock, but I didn’t pay any attention to them.

“That… was the best battle I’ve ever had.” David’s voice cracked slightly.

I wasn’t sure what to say. My heart was soaring, but I felt a nagging shame at taking something like this away from one of my best friends.

He swallowed and blinked at me, clearly also at a loss for words. Then, suddenly, he pulled me into a hug.

“I’m glad it was you,” I heard him whisper, barely audible.

That was the photograph that was used to announce my championship to the world. A battle hardened Blastoise standing on a field of victory, watching two friends from Pallet Town embrace in shared joy and sorrow.

*****

Thanks for reading
 
Chapter 56 - Finale
Chapter 56

I awkwardly adjusted my tie as I listened to Lance’s muffled voice and waited for my cue. I was backstage at the elaborate setup they had built for the ceremony in the courtyard in front of the League building at Indigo Plateau. Most of the workers milling about ignored me, but Andrew stood by my side. My assistant. I had an assistant now.

“You okay?” Andrew asked, looking up from one of those leather folder things important people carry documents around in.

“Just not used to dressing up,” I responded, looking down at my fresh new tailored suit. I’d never even had a tailored suit before. It looked good I suppose, but it just felt… wrong.

“There aren’t a lot of these formal events fortunately, but you gotta meet the dress code. Look the part, you know?”

“Dress code?” I said incredulously. “Lance is wearing a cape.”

Andrew smirked. “Do you want to wear a cape?”

“Not really.”

Andrew laughed, shrugged, and went back to his papers. I wasn’t even sure what he was doing. Scheduling stuff for me, maybe?

“It feels weird being celebrated like this without any of my Pokémon,” I said. “They deserve the honor more than I do.”

“Hard to get them to follow the dress code too,” he said dryly without even looking up.

I laughed. “I dunno, Rainer would look cute in a t-shirt I think, don’t you?”

“He’d still need pants.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna be the enforcer on that one.”

Before he could respond, I heard Lance’s voice rise from the stage.

“…your new Champion of the Indigo League, Keith Anders!

I adjusted my tie one last time and practically jumped up the steps onto the platform.

We’d thoroughly rehearsed that morning, so despite my nerves I walked confidently up to the podium Lance beckoned me to, and blinked in the bright afternoon sun as I proceeded to stumble through the brief speech Andrew had helped me prepare. It was a pretty cut and dry speech, and I’d memorized it thoroughly, so I barely even noticed I had started saying it. Some stuff about how proud I was to be Champion. Lots of thanking the League and my family and my Pokémon. Writing it had felt weird. Speaking it felt weird. I hadn’t become Champion for anyone but myself. It was what I had always wanted. To share that childish joy that still leaped in my heart every time I realized that I was the Champion felt like I was bragging.

I looked out at the crowd. At the outskirts of the courtyard were various reporters, trainers, citizens of the Plateau. My only request for this ceremony had been to have it at least somewhat open to the public. David had shied away from publicity and opted for a private ceremony. That sounded enticing, but I figured after Saffron… people could use an excuse to celebrate. Even if it was just for some dumb kid from Pallet Town. I’d eaten plenty of crappy Pokémon Center meals on the League’s dime over the past year, why not have them pay for everyone’s lunch this time?

In a cordoned off area in front of the stage the VIPs sat at a cluster of tables. Many were Gym Leaders from Kanto, Johto, and elsewhere. Misty winked when we made eye contact, making me stutter in the middle of a sentence. Surge was nowhere to be found. There were yet more people I didn’t recognize. And right at the front was my mother. She was wearing the nicest dress she owned, but still looked underdressed next to the champion of Sinnoh in her immaculate black gown, and Sabrina in a somewhat uncharacteristic yet striking scarlet dress, both of whom sat at her table.

Mom beamed up at me. Her smile was tight lipped and her eyes watery. I could tell she was desperately trying to keep from crying. I held her gaze for a moment too long. Here sat the woman who had continued to raise my brother and I after my dad died, uncomplaining, stepping up into every role that he had previously taken. Despite my manic ramblings as a six-year-old, she had never really understood my fascination with Pokémon battling, but she had always supported it. Always listened. Eagerly even. And a year after Dad had died, when I had resigned myself to the fact that it would probably be best to stay in Pallet and find a job, she had been the one to remind me that the deadline to apply for League sponsorship was coming up. It had never been optional to her. I was always going to set out on this journey and she was always going to be behind me, cheering me on.

I choked, unable to say the final line of my speech. It was a last banal thank you to everyone and no one.

I coughed and looked down. There were no notes on the podium. I improvised. “I’ve… Ever since my dad died… I’ve had doubts. About if I really wanted this anymore. If I really wanted to be here. It’s hard… holding on to a dream like this when you’re carrying a burden.” I looked up and scanned the crowd again. Their faces were quiet. Pensive. My scars twinged. “I know we’ve all had a rough couple weeks. I’m sure some of you carry these kinds of burdens too… I’ve learned something on my journey here. Going through something like we have makes every day hard, even the good ones. But I’ve also learned we need to appreciate what we have while we still have it. We should find reasons to celebrate. Seek out joy… even if it won’t come to us naturally.”

I met eyes with my mother. “Maybe the struggles don’t end here. But I am glad I made it. I’m glad I never gave up.” I looked back down, trying to hold in my tears. “Thank you.”

The crowd erupted into applause. I forced a smile and waved at no one in particular for a moment before the character I was pretending to be finally broke. I stole off the to the side of the stage, jumped off, and headed for my mom. We embraced, holding each other for far too long. She cried into my chest. I held her close, not letting anyone see. She tried to say something a few times but never quite got a word out before breaking into sobs. I just replied with. “I know… I know…”

By the time we had pulled apart, most of the rest of the party had turned to food and libations, but a short line had formed in front of me. At the head of it was Sabrina. Mom stroked my arm and squeezed my hand.

“I suppose I should let you get go,” she said, returning to the table. I couldn’t choke out a response.

Sabrina strode up to me and extended a hand. “None of my students have ascended to as high of a position. I admit I had my doubts when you first approached me, but ever since the Rockets were turned from Saffron—”

I couldn’t help myself. I hugged her. Maybe it was out of thankfulness for the things she had taught me, without which I would never be here. Maybe it was just to hide my own tears of joy. She didn’t seem to know how to respond. Eventually she just patted me on the back.

“Thank you,” I whispered to her as I pulled away.

Her face was unflinching, unresponsive. “It was my pleasure.” She bowed, then turned to speak to my Mom, who she approached with a reverence I had never seen her give to anyone else.

Cynthia, the aging Champion of Sinnoh was next. Then Brock, the first gym leader I had ever beaten. Then dozens of other people.

A live jazz band played a variety of songs in the background. Some covers of pieces I recognized, and one particular folk tune I had specifically requested since the lyrics mentioned Pallet Town in particular. I shook hands. I hugged. I laughed. I tried not to cry. I was the Champion.

*****

The last few hundred yards of the mountain trail were nothing but stone and gravel, well above the tree line, but I stubbornly kept my eyes on the ground to avoid spoiling the view for myself until I was at the very top. Flareth and Tesla traipsed along behind me, glad to get out. I had passed Psyke ten to twenty minutes prior, meditating along the side of the trail when we were still in the trees. He had likely teleported to the summit by now. Zyanya was flying above, while both Rainer and Gideon were still resting in their Poké Balls. It was three days since our last battle, and the first chance for me to have any time to myself. The two of them were still tired. I was surprised Zyanya was so ready to go, but I guess she was just glad to fly.

David had mentioned this trail to me. Said it took you from the shores of the lake all the way to the peak of one of the highest mountains in the area. It had not been an easy hike. Lots of elevation in a relatively short distance, but…

I staggered the last few gravelly steps to the summit and moved to sit on a nearby boulder, finally turning to admire the view. It was worth it. Far below the late afternoon sun blazed a yellow-white line across the lake, digging into my retinas. I raised a hand to block it and looked at the Champion’s Complex, a glittering crystal set against the rocky mountainside of the valley. My new home. This whole place was supposed to be my new home.

Psyke was sitting on another boulder nearby, eyes closed. Flareth curled up in front of me, opting for a view of me rather than the valley. Tesla bobbed nearby. I plucked Gideon and Rainer’s Poké Balls from my belt and dropped them in front of me. Gideon looked at me, then out at the valley below us, and crouched, tracing lines in the gravel with his blades. Rainer sidled up close to the rock where I sat and curled into a ball, laying down for a nap. He’d fought hard. I didn’t mind him taking a rest. He deserved it. Hell, if they hadn’t made me go to that ceremony, I probably would have slept for the past three days as well. Tesla continued to float around the summit, occasionally inspecting random rocks with an eye that could probably see things I could never imagine.

We sat like that for hours. The boulder was surprisingly comfortable. I watched the reflection of the sun stretch across the lake as it fell lower in the sky. I watched the clouds slowly coast by, silently envying the unhurried deliberateness with which they moved. I watched the pale green trees that speckled the opposite mountainside tremble in the breeze. Larix lyallii David had called them. I couldn’t remember the common name. Apparently they were a pine tree that turned yellow and lost their needles in the autumn. I watched Zyanya circle again and again until she finally decided to join us upon the summit. Just me and my Pokémon. Having walked all day. Just like we had almost every day this past year. I missed Tim and Criss, but my Pokémon made up for it in quiet companionship.

Eventually the sun set to a point where I decided it was time to go.

“Come on guys,” I said to my Pokémon, all now lazing around the mountaintop, “time to head back.”

They all groaned and rolled over. “Alright, alright.” I creakily stood up and began to return them to their Poké Balls. Rainer, my starter, my finisher. Tesla, my stoic protector. Psyke, insight personified. Flareth, ever present and ever loyal. Gideon, a fish out of water only recently learning to swim. And finally…

Zyanya perked up when I picked her Safari Ball from my belt.

“What’s up?” I asked. “Not ready to head back yet? The sun’s gonna set by the time I get to the lake. You can fly if you want, I guess.”

Zyanya looked at me and let out a low, steady hum. She bowed over low, presenting her back to me. My heart stopped.

“You want me to…?”

She looked at me, her big brown eyes full of emotion.

“I…” Not counting the Charizard that had carried me from the Plateau to Lake S’uylu, I hadn’t ridden a Pokémon since…

Zyanya hummed louder, her voice striking a chord both literally and figuratively.

I approached her and laid a hand on her neck. Her scales felt cold from the cool mountain wind, but I could also feel the warmth of her body beneath them. She pulled her legs underneath her and stretched her wings, ready to fly.

I hesitated for a second. “I…” I stuttered again. Zyanya just spread her wings wider in response. I could see them catching the wind on the mountain top, but refusing to let it carry her off the ground.

“Ok.” I said it to myself as much as her. Slowly and carefully, I straddled her and settled down, embracing her long neck.

Immediately, the wind caught her wings and carried her upward. She slowly lifted off the mountaintop. My stomach swooped and I gripped her neck tighter. It felt odd. It wasn’t quite like the comfortable seating in a saddle like the Charizard, nor was it the soft cushion of Baron’s feathers. I had to grip Zyanya with my arms and my knees in order to feel solid, but it was still surprisingly stable. Zyanya lifted off and dived downward, completely ignoring the trail I had used to climb to the summit, instead swinging straight down across the jagged granite of the mountainside. A brief second later she pulled sharply upwards, her wings catching the wind and inflating like a balloon. My stomach swooped again. A brilliant, wonderful feeling that I hadn’t realized how much I had missed.

There was an updraft off the lake. Or the mountain. I couldn’t tell, but Zyanya could. It carried us higher and higher. Eventually we were gliding just below the clouds. I craned my neck to look upwards and saw fluffy white cotton interspersed with clear blue. We were well above the other mountains.

All sorts of emotions swelled within me. “I’d like… to see the ocean again. Home.”

Zyanya hummed and swerved left, carrying us towards the Indigo Plateau. Maybe towards Pallet. We soared, Zyanya’s wings barely flapping, across the Alizarin Mountains. I briefly saw the Indigo Plateau pass by to my right, but I wasn’t looking at it.

As soon as it was visible over the mountains, I stared out across the ocean, my head resting somewhat uncomfortably on the scales of Zyanya’s neck. The deep blue and gray, with a sky of lighter blue and white and swelling orange. It was exactly what I remembered from when I was a kid watching the sunset while walking on the beach with my Dad. I’d always thought the sky was the color of a Dragonite’s scales. But I could see now it wasn’t. My Dragonite was just a little more yellow.

My Dragonite. I tried to hold in the tears as I clutched Zyanya.

Here I was, barely holding on to a dragon hundreds of feet above the ground. I was the Champion. I was the Champion. It didn’t feel real. I was excited, but this was something I had dreamed of for so long that it felt like it could only possibly exist in dreams. It was surreal.

Zyanya stretched her wings and coasted on the wind. Viridian Forest flew by rapidly below us. The beginning of my journey. And it hadn’t been a pleasant one. We dipped lower, tracing Route 1 along the various streams leading from the forest to the ocean. Far, far below I could see the muddy road that I had trudged along when I’d left my home a year ago, followed by Baron in the sky and Rainer in the water next to me. Faintly, I could see a dot of color on the path. Without even trying, Zyanya and I slipped into a psychic connection. My head throbbed ever so slightly, a reminder of my bout against Agatha. We dipped lower, Zyanya catching on to my curiosity.

Eventually I could make it out. Someone was riding their bike along Route 1. Fast. Probably trying to get to Viridian City before the sun dipped below the horizon. Another dot zipped along behind them. A Pidgey, or Pidgeotto maybe, followed the bike rider. I took one last erstwhile glance at the ocean and we looped around to follow the rider so far below us. I watched the two of them slice across the countryside, human and Pokémon together. Zyanya was fast though, and we had the advantage of altitude. We quickly outpaced them and looped around for another look. We were even lower now and I could see the glint off their bike helmet.

The bicyclist suddenly slowed to a stop, and the blurry dot of a bird behind them caught up. We dipped a bit lower. They were pointing up at us.

I imagined for a moment that I was that trainer far below. Recently set out on my journey and recently accompanied by my new avian friend. The two of us would fight many battles together, overcome many obstacles, and grow to be so much more than we had ever imagined. But we didn’t know it yet. For now we were just looking in wonder at the sight far above us. A Dragonite. A rare sight drifting this far from the mountains. Its yellow scales glinting bright gold in the setting sun. An omen of hope, blessing the travels of a trainer that was as of yet unremarkable. Inspiring courage, ambition, passion, teamwork, a spirit of adventure.

Zyanya caught an updraft that carried us upwards into the uncomfortable moisture of the clouds where the air was thinner, but the sky was clear, purple and blue. We were headed back to the lake. Back to the place, the position that I had earned. Despite how surreal it felt, it was like it couldn’t be any other way. There was no other future that I could see myself in besides this, here, now. Flying high above Kanto. The Champion of the Indigo League. I could feel Zyanya’s agreement. Where else could we have ever been? I leaned low over her neck and closed my eyes, suddenly closer to her than ever before. I couldn’t forget that trainer below us, looking up in wonder. Maybe they had always wanted a Dragonite too. Maybe they wanted to be the best, to be the champion.

I whispered into the wind. “It’s always been our dream.”

~fin
 
And that’s a wrap.

I put a lot of effort into trying to recapture here a bit of the joy and wonder that attracted me to Pokémon fanfiction in the first place, so hopefully that came through. A little bit nostalgic, a little bit campy. It was never really a question for me as to whether or not I was going to actually finish this, but I won’t say that I didn’t struggle to find the motivation. The story was never terribly popular, nor was it particularly good. But I was writing for me. Because I had a story I wanted to tell and was enjoying telling it. I wanted to create something like the things that had inspired me so much. That and simple pigheaded determination (and a few bottles of whiskey) got me to finish writing it. But if I was just writing for myself, then why bother posting?

There are a lot of people who have read this story in pieces or in whole over the last ten years, which is pretty cool to think about. I got a lot of feedback, some positive and some very deservedly critical. To think that there are people across the world who have read this and gotten literally any amount of joy out of it is a really special feeling. That’s why I came back. To paraphrase my favorite music artist: maybe someone, somewhere finds the warmth of summer in the stories I write. That was a gift that I couldn’t recognize. The work that stirred your soul, you can make for someone else.

There are a lot of people that deserve thanks for helping me write this story from start to finish. Too many to list, and I’m afraid that if I do I’ll miss someone. If you think that I might be talking about you, then I absolutely am. Every single person who has ever written or read or reviewed in the Writer’s Workshop, even if it wasn’t my stories, has helped me immensely. You guys are why I spent so much time here over the years through all the ups and downs, and I am blessed to call you my friends. There are two people I want to specify though…

@Beth Pavell my long-suffering beta reader, and currently our fearless leader of the Workshop. Without your input this story would be far lesser. (He’s a very talented writer in his own right, definitely check out his work)

And this might come out of the blue, but @Life I don’t know if you have any interest at all in finishing reading this story (or if you’re even active on this forum anymore). You mentioned a couple times that for some inexplicable reason this story is one of your favorites. I want you to know that comment alone provided me with so much energy and motivation over the years. That someone out there is or was genuinely invested in something I made really helped me out of some low points.

I hope that all of you that have read this story at any point in the last ten years have grown and flourished as much as Keith and I have. You deserve the best.

As always, thank you so, so much for reading!
 
This was a surprise to be seen continued. And okay after getting demotivated when I first sat down because FUCK XENOFORO I DIDN'T CLICK ANYTHING, let's pick up where I think I left off and see how much I can remember. Particularly since you mentioned that a part of your inspiration was how Fritz Westmyn never gave verbal signals to be secretive in commands; which I ironically defied and did something the opposite of in my new metaseries. And hey seem to have decided to get remotivated just in time for the ending, so let's push all the way there.

- And in the end after an epic aerial fight Nolan accomplishes fucking nothing.
- Forgot how bloody this fic was...also shoutouts to God and not Arceus
- Also forgot psychic powers were a thing here. Evidently it's been forever and all I had to go on was some really old profile comments :p
- No Pokemon allowed unless asked.
- Man someone give her the memo that Psychic isn't all that anymore. Then again she is biased
- Shoutouts to free badges for good reasons
- They're all Sky Trainers now, and I think before Sky Trainers were a thing.
- TEAR OFF THAT MASK AND REVEAL YOUR TRUE FORM. I AM THOU. THOU ART I. Well, I guess P5 wasn't out before this fic existed.
- Like interpretation that makes Pokemon closer to animals that can become more.
- Well one thing I remember is Criss was a typical sardonic and sarcastic action girl. I guess almost dying makes one loosen up and enjoy life more.
- That's one way to break the language barrier
- Aesops intensify.
- Your mind makes it real, meet your saying it makes it real.
- Hm, mentioning a sequel in the comments...although, that was in 2015, and here we are now just finishing
- Man imagine giving your kid a damn knife when setting out as a trainer
- Backstory time, and man if she wasn't killing people with the knife, I shudder to think how she did it.
- The ship tease with the hug! And just the tease...
- And this chapter immediately turns fucked at the end, because it is the nature of darkfics. I have to say, this was forced and out of nowhere and in the grand scheme only gave some last minute angst
- Well as much of a diabolus ex machina as this was, I can say that the description of loss never really going away is accurate for the most part, my father in particular still feels losing my mother to this day
- How much space does this Zam have to write because he is writing a lot
- No wonder popularity in the league is declining, if I recall some things correctly. The NDAs stop them from getting much publicity. Also what is this Ironmon shit?
- Ahh the advantage of taking years to finish the fic up, new Pokemon to use
- Rules in the League are serious business
- Wow, Freeze is KO? That's pretty fucked, but not as bad as sleep being KO.
- Gotta be...unpredictable
- Bruno going unga
- Obviously Keith has never heard of a Light Ball
- It's almost like the League wants very specific qualities
- Agatha is kind of a you- know- what. No wonder the League isn't publicized, she can keep getting away with that.
- Rare, but I like the idea of someone else giving the nickname
- Lol the multiple Dragonite. I mean it is canon.
- I mean with how bureaucratic this shit is and how impossible things are no wonder Keith is his first
- A last minute competitor to shipping over Criss? Although Olivia doesn't even show up later so
- PTSD intensifies. I wonder if David chose it on purpose because of it, but doesn't seem to be that way
- The amount of determination in this fight is frankly absurd
- I CHOOSE YOU
- Doesn't even need all his friends cheering him on here
- Like before, it seems Keith's Pokes drag him along, interesting theme
- Wow not just winning by ring- out, but outright. Don't fuck with John Keitha
- And Keith immediately feels the effects of champion life and all the obligations
- Huh, Cynthia is aging? Wonder how old Agatha is, then
- That is a question, odd writing wise that Tim and Criss aren't there for the ending
Interesting ending sequence

You have come far to finish this at last in one short burst after so long. NIce to see a longfic from back in the day get knocked out. I can't say much in summary since it's been equally as long since I've read it, but one thing I did motice of this last push was kind of how empty it felt at the end. Two of the main protagonists don't even get so much as a reaction in the end. Some of this seems to be playing conservative for potential sequels...but we'll see if those take shape, always the problem with big series.

I do think this fic is better than you think, given all the awards and stuff it won back when those were still a thing. It's not perfect by any means, as I just mentioned a notable flaw, but nothing is and it's definitely something I felt was worth blitzing through the rest of today. Don't have much else to say in conclusion, at least not anything that would take me an easy enough time to think up. Big detailed reviews are hopefully for the people who will show up to do them, this place is kinda inactive lately. Except, welcome back and thanks for writing this fic. Come a long way i your writing, and if you do more of it...well, I'll probably hopefully be there.
 
@System Error Hey man, thanks for the review. Appreciate your feedback. When I was writing most of this fic I had grand plans for a couple sequels, but I think that was majorly to the detriment of the story. I think before I ever get around to writing the sequel (singular) I'll first rewrite this story to be a little more self contained. Part of what I tried to do with the interlude was provide a little bit of closure for some of the mysteries and supporting characters in the story. Originally a lot of that stuff wasn't meant to be revealed for a long time, but I decided it wasn't worth making people read another 500k words (inevitably over the next twenty years). It's definitely not perfect. I much rather would have built up to and revealed these things over the course of the normal story, but here I am. This whole arc was kinda written as an almost stand-alone thing. To get an idea of my mindset approaching it, imagine if everything up through Chapter 49 was the whole of the story, and everything after that was a hasty sequel meant to tie the whole thing together. Sort of a Firefly to Serenity sort of situation (kinda). You definitely picked up on that particular weakness by starting reading again before Chapter 49. Hopefully that's something I'll do better with on a rewrite. But as is I really wanted to focus in on Keith and his Pokemon. The other characters, Criss in particular, had kind of stolen the show from him throughout the story and I really wanted to zoom in on Keith as the primary protagonist. This last arc was less about tying the whole story together and more just about a trainer and his pokemon. I can understand that not coming across, though.

Anyway, I'm glad you too are still around after all this time. Thanks again.
 
congrats on finishing! it's been a lovely ride.

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in lieu of a big detailed review, the honor of which i leave to someone else or to edit into this post later, here's kanto if it were the drunkenly drawn pacific crest trail

“Hard to get them to follow the dress code too,” he said dryly without even looking up.

I laughed. “I dunno, Rainer would look cute in a t-shirt I think, don’t you?”
bonus content: the gang gets t-shirts
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Hello there! This is my seventh entry for the February review challenge. I actually read the first few chapters of this story a little while ago, and I remembered it while thinking about potential stories to review. I found it memorable for its unconventional plot turns that defied the fic’s label as an “unapologetically generic trainer fic”, so I wanted to take the opportunity to give the story a closer, more critical look. So with that said, let’s go ahead and get started!

Please note that this review covers the first three chapters, plus the prologue and “Chapter 2.5”.

First, the prologue. For a story whose first word from its author describes it as an “unapologetically generic journey fic”, it sure opens in quite the unconventional way, doesn’t it? Not many journey fics can say that they open quite literally with a bang in the form of a explosion happening under dark circumstances, nor can said journey fics say that their protagonist’s father was a victim of said explosion. Already I think the reader is given a real reason to continue reading compared to the many other journey fics out there, as it not only gives us a mystery (why was this lab targeted, and what was the protagonist’s father working on there that was so important?), it gives us an immediate and powerful reason to care about the mystery because it’s intimately connected to immeasurably important to the protagonist (their father; how much higher stakes can you get than that?) in a way that’s instantly relatable to most people. So that’s certainly a well-done opening there, and again very unique in both conception and execution from most other journey fics out there.

And then we get to the first chapter, which begins in a manner that I think that is arguably one of the single best things about this fic, if not the best, even several chapters later. Said manner being skipping all of typical, generic beginning-of-journey stuff and instead taking us straight to our protagonist Keith making a hurried exit out of the infamous Viridian Forest with a newly-caught Butterfree in hand, with promise of something new in the form of Pewter City. Because, really, no one really cares about that if you’ve read a whole bunch of journey fics before, haha. Or at least, I sure don’t. Combined with the prologue, this demonstrates to us that the story doesn’t keen to tell a typical journey fic story here, if we make the assumption that the story is following the classic “law of conversation of detail” and is only telling us things that are, well, actually important to what’s coming. And given how the aforementioned generic beginning-of-journey stuff is compressed into basically a single paragraph — with said paragraph spending half of that time more on characterization in the form of telling us Keith feeling exhausted by things that he thought would be easy — the suggestion is that it’s, well, probably not all that important! Or at least not important enough to spend one or multiple chapters on. This, along with the prologue, seems to suggest to the reader that the far more unique Team Rocket stuff is what’s more likely to be the focus of this fic, which is exciting, and promises to distinguish this fic from, shall we say, the myriad of non-apologetically generic trainer fics out there, haha. So all of all, you have a lovely start there just from the first few paragraphs of the first chapter, which synergizes very well with the prologue.

Meanwhile, the fic happily doubles down on that more interesting Team Rocket thread in swift order with our entry into Pewter City where, after some scene-setting, we meet our resident Rocket-hunter Criss. Who then proceeds to introduce herself by shaking down a Team Rocket grunt, right before casually throwing a knife at our protagonist when he gets too close. “Unapologetically generic trainer fic”? Are you sure about that, haha? I think that Criss is probably my favorite character so far, as well as arguably the objectively best one. Not just because it’s pretty much just her and Keith as far as real characters go here at the moment, haha. And not just because Keith is closer to the spirit of “unapologetically generic trainer fic” as far as his own characterization goes besides his antipathy towards Team Rocket (which I’ll elaborate on later). Criss’s character might basically boil down to “guarded borderline sociopathic badass” so far, but that’s hardly a bad thing, because that is very interesting! And her often shockingly casual — and often visceral — attitude towards violence certainly provides several wonderful opportunities for both great action and great drama. Happily, the fic fully capitalizes on this, again just in the first chapter, with the assault Team Rocket’s base at Mt. Moon. Which includes such highlights as, you know, Criss slitting a man’s throat without even blinking (yeesh!), amongst other less lethal yet no less brutal treatments towards her proclaimed sworn enemies. It makes you wonder how she became the Criss that she see her as here, and how far away she may have been from our relatively innocent protagonist Keith before turning to a much darker path.

That said, the immediate aftermath of Criss and Keith’s adventure at Mt. Moon leaves me a tad concerned about Keith’s character development in the wake of it all. In his encounters with the organization that killed his father, Keith gets his nose broken, has his life threatened multiple times, and watches a man die right of front of him under circumstances that he was in no small part responsible for (albeit in the middle of a life-or-death situation). And that’s before we even get into what he witnessed from Criss which includes, again, watching a man’s throat be slit among other brutalities. Despite this, however, Keith seems weirdly… I don’t know, unaffected by it all? Or at least it seems so. Oh certainly, the experience takes a lot out of him, and he thinks a lot about what happened there. Of course he does; it would be shocking if he didn’t! But perhaps what rubs me the wrong way is how easily he goes from this understandable sense of guilt and turmoil that he feels about, you know, basically killing someone (Team Rocket or not) among other things, to thinking about the Pokémon League again with much of another thought about what happened at Mt. Moon. At least, as far as the narrative tells us. Perhaps he’s trying to suppress these thoughts or something, but if so, I would’ve figured that the story would’ve telegraphed that somehow, and yet it really doesn’t. I mean, it just seems weird to bounce straight from two solid chapters of that into the more “unapologetically generic trainer fic” parts of the story. Especially since all of that focus on Team Rocket made it seem like this wasn’t really going to be an “unapologetically generic trainer fic” at its heart, and that what we were going to get in reality was more of a tale of lost innocence, given said said encounters with Team Rocket most definitely are going to have an affect on Keith one way or another, right? Not necessarily enough to turn him into Criss (maybe), but certainly enough to provide the possibility of going down a similar path as her, or perhaps a uniquely dark one of his own. After all, these are the people who killed his father… that temptation is always going to be there, right? So overall, while I know that this is far from the end of the story and there will be plenty of events that will send Keith into those dark places again, perhaps I was just expecting that darkness to linger a little longer — like a seed that threatens to grow into something large — rather than seemingly disappearing completely. But at the very least, I’m certain that said darkness will appear again in short order, which will hopefully herald the return of some of the things that have made this fic unique and engaging so far.

A few stray notes that I’d like to write down:
  • I find that there are a decent amount of passages where Keith slows down the narrative to explain things, such as what places like Pallet Town are or what organizations like Devon Corp are. Said slowing down is rather noticeable, and I would’ve expected that he would’ve spent a similar amount of time explaining what things like, say, Viridian Forest or Team Rocket are, given their importance both short-term and long-term in the narrative. But our knowledge of those things seems to be taken for granted instead, which feels a tad inconsistent, perhaps? That said, the fact that the story is indeed being told in first-person from Keith’s perspective arguably makes this more justifiable, if he’s saying everything with the assumption that whoever he’s talking to knows nothing about the Pokémon world. You would have to treat his narration as kind of “meta” in order for this to completely make sense — given how he doesn’t explain what things like, say, Poké Balls or Gym Leaders are — but this is really only a problem if you think it too much. The mere fact that said explanations are there does invite the reader to think about them, though.
  • Keith’s battle against Brock could be seen as one of the more “generic” parts of this so-called “unapologetically generic journey fic”, but I actually think that it’s important to the greater story in its own little way. It shows us that despite his extraordinary circumstances and backstory driving his antipathy towards Team Rocket that in turn leads him to Criss and all of the madness that happens after, he’s very much a normal, un-extraordinary trainer, no different from the hundreds of trainers who went through that exact same trial with Brock. In retrospect after his and Criss’s little Rocket-slaying adventure happens, it really shows just how completely out of his depth Keith is there, arguably even more so than the actual events of said adventure or in comparison to how Criss so easily and casually handled things.
  • While I enjoyed the little interlude with the Mystery Man and his Flygon, it felt a little weird to go through all of the adrenaline-filled catharsis of the previous chapter with characters that we’re invested in, to another intense scene right after. One with plenty of adrenaline, but perhaps somewhat less catharsis given that we don’t know Mystery Man nearly as well as we do Keith or Criss at this point, besides the fact that he also has something against Team Rocket. That, and the fact that we pretty much know that he’s not going to catch up with the Rocket Boss (because of course not; that would obviously be too easy), drains the full potential of this scene a bit, I think. Still, the mere fact of him trying is pretty exciting in itself, as is watching him and his Flygon go down and wondering if they’re going to be OK. That along with our desire to see Team Rocket suffer a little — even knowing that it’s likely not going to happen here — is still plenty to make the scene work, but my previous observations still stand.
Not much more to say, I think. I know that you say that this story is pretty much finished and that not much will be changed, but even with everything that I mentioned before, there’s still an extremely strong story here that shows real promise, and I’m optimistic that future chapters will follow through on all of that great stuff. Thanks for writing this!
But still, “unapologetically generic journey fic”… haha!
 
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i’m gonna be real i thought we were on the same page up until literally this message.

So it’s been about ten years since I promised I would write a “proper” review for this fic, five years since I last posted a review, and a year since I edited a secret review into one of my old posts. More importantly it’s been about a year since this fic finished. proud of u. In case the enormous length of the scrollbar hasn’t tipped you off, I’ve been thinking a lot about this story since we last spoke. It’s me, a clown.

Up front, I think the last arc does need to be read with some doublethink–just by nature of how things turned out for you, it requires nontrivial attention to a lot of stuff that came before (logical, since you’re buttoning up the story), but it also requires nontrivial ignoring of a lot of stuff that came before, or some loose retconning/invention/imagining in a different light (logical, since you don’t want to be tied to decisions you made ten years ago). I think that’s something you already know.

For most everything except one broadly-holistic section that’s chucked in the spoiler, I’m mostly framing closer to the imaginative reading–mostly just because at this point I don’t think I can quite separate the two. That being said, specifically because you mentioned that your current project is a full-on, new document, starting entirely from scratch rewrite, my brain ended up consumed with ideas for the past few days, and some of them actually might be helpful to you, so there’s some of that too. good luck lil rewrite; the world is lucky to be your home.

Also, xenforo updated like 80 times since i pulled linequotes, so those are all gone. This is inarguably better for both of us tbh.

some general vibes before i start singing​

This is probably because I’ve finally touched grass, but I really like the Victory Road lore and pretty much all of the details in that chapter. I think the level of worldbuilding you establish starting in chapter 49 for misc League and cultural stuff is probably something that you’d want to maintain earlier/throughout the story, and again, something probably well on your radar; this is mostly just to point out that hey, whatever brand of whiskey you picked out is working.

I also think this setup for an E4 gauntlet is really based, and feel the need to call this out specifically. Five back-to-back 6v6s is intimidating as all hell, both to write and read, even before you start summarizing novel-sized character arcs in each one. One 6v15 gauntlet is such a badass idea. Like the Skyguard, this is just one of those really cool worldbuilding things that you casually invent as background lore that I would’ve totally thought is just the norm of all similar journeyfics, simply because of how right it feels to adapt a videogame convention to this exact literary setup. It also gives Keith a realistically foreign challenge at this point in his journey, and I think helps really tie in why he’s able to succeed here when presumably a lot of people don’t–the standard League stuff doesn’t force you to prepare for this level of mental challenge. Keith didn’t do a standard journey. I think there’s some loose ends to all the Rocket stuff that you want to look at in the sequel, and again, this isn’t the section for that, but at the very least the E4 stuff makes it feel like everything he went through was all important in getting Keith to the end. It’s a realistic level-up in challenges that also doesn’t feel inherently unfair, and honestly the added dimension from “counterpick this one thing” to “now be the very best” comes across so well here. There’s also so much added tension in making the damage last between fights, but it really lends to making the whole thing feel like one cohesive challenge instead of five fights stapled together. For all my pretending to know fic cliches, I have the timestamped receipts of me putting my entire foot in my mouth and saying that you made me think the protagonist, who I have repeatedly chastised for getting wins I claimed were undeserved–was going to lose the most important battle of the entire story even though he didn’t deserve to. The catharsis I felt when I realized he wasn’t is honestly something I struggled to put into words. Unfortunately duty compels me to try.

i wanna be (lorelai)​

I think having David pop up periodically in these chapters is a brilliant idea. Keith really needs some sort of reassuring, talking presence for these fights, and having it come from the guy who’s also being set up as the final antagonist is so good. He’s the reminder that the dream started a long time ago, but there’s also just a little more to go. And it makes sense that he’d exposit some of these things in a really rushed, wink and nudge sorta way, so it lets you be efficient on the setup.

This chapter (and also 49) onwards, I think you present a much stronger grasp of Keith as a first person narrator as well. Opening the second scene with the temporary disorientation of the boat/lake not smelling like saltwater really goes a long way–we get some scene setting, we get an idea of a very specific set of details that Keith is most familiar with, and we get the understanding that Keith is really good at picking out subtle environmental details (a surprise tool that will help him later). More than that there’s also the tonal setup that this is familiar in some sense, but it’s not solid ground; there’s a paradigm shift coming. This is a stupidly efficient amount of exposition for three sentences, holy shit.

There’s a ton of other really efficient details–wow you could fit several steelix in this room, those jackets are all kind of overkill, I would prefer the wind to be at my back, she’s growing a fucking beard, the technical differences between Thunderbolt and Thunder–that thread pretty seamlessly into the setup of the battle. I know you’ve mentioned struggling making it feel like the trainer is relevant to the fight since they’re a removed/strategic presence rather than a physical one, and honestly I’m sure each of these details was paid for in sweat and blood, but I think it pays off really well here.

I admit I don’t really pick up like, thesis-level themes from each section so much as vibes. This is for several reasons, the most pressing of which are likely that a) I’m really good at spinning something from nothing and nothing from something and b) there are probably bits of the story that you’re planning on rewriting and this arc is sort of assuming a lot of that. Regardless the tonal feeling I got from this chapter was mostly one of optimism, exuberance, a little anxiety–those first day of school sort of jitters. For the opening chapter of aforementioned sickass 6v15 fight it works well; there’s some growing pains as Keith starts to realize that this fight is as much a mental game for him as it is a physical one, we start to lay the groundwork for his potential shortcomings, both literal (Tesla and Flareth take some hard hits here) and metaphorical (he gets spooked easily, especially when he can’t get a handle on what his opponent is planning). It also does seem to harken back to those early fic days, straight-up to the photobucket-sig forum days, where you’re staring down the impassive avatar of Aladar/Gama/Legacy Lorelei stroking her chin and being like, holy shit, she must be cooking so much under that forum-capped 64x64 pixel png, only to look back and realize that at some point you’ve been cooking this whole time too. Evolution is a kind of rebirth, a culmination of a lot of hard work but it’s a sudden and tangible change; the beginning of a journey is full of those. Some parts of the world are familiar but a lot are different; the challenges in your way right now aren’t strictly to make you suffer, but to see if the struggle can help you grow. Except also no lmao my world my rules, this is COLLEGE baybee, the time for lessons is over, this is a trial, better figure it out on the way down.

Whatever the specific phrasing is, I think it really works. Also, dunno where else to put it, but Arcanine spilling flames from its mouth and leaping around is so fucking cool. I think in general you nail down what’s inherently kickass about a flaming dog trying to 1v1 the Loch Ness monster, in a way that reads really effortlessly–it’s not hard to imagine that this is some genuinely high-caliber fighting going on.

“Those who rely on predictability do not last long as trainers.”
at what point do we think the meta jokes just write themselves by sheer virtue of quoting the appropriate text, asking for a friend

a heart so true (bruno)​

I literally never thought I would say this some might say it was unPREDI– but I am absolutely digging the completely-straight interpretation that Bruno just prowls around shirtless, twenty-four pack rippling with every breath alongside his mane of hair as he sinks into crane jutsu stance and just shouts “SMASH SMASH SMASH”, while Lance’s cape flaps sagely in the background. YMMV of course but for me this struck a really nice balance of borderline memey self-indulgent seeing childhood heroes come to life, and also just, yeah honestly if this was my dayjob I’d probably fuck with the kids by cosplaying too.

Again, shouting out some of my favorite early scene-setting details, though there are so many across the entire chapter–the whole “forecast’s for rain” / “damn this guy’s good” exchange is so good. It feels so natural as casual conversation, even just as a guy helping Keith out, but there’s such good underlying tension about what this could mean, what he’s up against. And then, no, surprise Baron.

"Any idea what you're going to do if you lose?" she asked.

"Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Becoming the Champion has been my dream for so long. Since I was a kid. It's like any other outcome just isn't an option."
Second shoutouts to the whole Olivia exchange too. It flows really seamlessly from “hey this is your fight, i just make the calls” into “this is your fight.” said with all the gravitas that Keith hasn’t been letting himself feel. It was this specific buildup that really made me doubt as the Agatha fight took a nosedive–maybe Keith actually doesn’t get what he wants here, because maybe it’s not what he needs. Maybe. The alternative if he fails isn’t actually a strict end for him, there’s a world where he could take the cope and be happy, Olivia’s got a pretty stable position, they don’t call them “childhood” dreams for nothing … I don’t know. You can argue that nostalgia and sentiment blind me here but I think this really nails down the weird duality that comes with self-inserting as a Pokemon protagonist–you’re an everyman, just a regular lil dude who starts from nothing, but also it’s your destiny to make it all the way when everyone else gives up.

Anyway, fast machamp is such an intimidating trainwreck holy shit. That was basically all I managed to write down in my first pass of this chapter. Regardless of how much structural changes you do in rewrites, setting up/reiterating the vague semantics of hold/grapple rules in the League format during the machamp bits is really good for the flow of this fight.

Flareth had once pulled me out of the ocean off of Cinnabar. I knew he could pull me out of this.
I know you were afraid that some of the “remember this???” lines were a bit too heavy, and that’s probably true, and I am not a good judge for what constitutes Too Obvious, but I am sobbing about this detail and the inherent vulnerability and trust it implies smh.

Bruno knew his weaknesses better than I ever would. Trying to take advantage of them was a useless endeavor. He would have a counter for every strategy I could come up with. I was the wild card here. I was the unknown variable. If I was to win, I had to play to my own strengths.
Anger swept through me. I could play to my own strengths… or I could beat him at his.
I think this is where the crux of this challenge gets stated, and I also think it’s a really clever distinction to make. It really sells that this is a mental game, and one that Keith is able to win by having a good grasp of himself that he’s achieved through struggle, not simply by pulling god-tier um akshually out of his pockets. And, again, it’s lines like these that fed me so well into thinking maybe Keith wasn’t going to win–there are a lot of reasonable approaches, many of which Keith has tried before with success, that will not give him what he wants here, and he’s still going to do those anyway. Victory isn’t going to be achieved by making the other guy lose, which Keith’s got a good handle on, but by Keith winning, which … maybe he doesn’t quite know.

“feint a flare blitz go for the head” this battle goes so fucking hard even before a turtle cuddles someone to death smh

I took this battle to be about wanting. Flareth is front and center, with all the–again–sickass moments of a flaming dog skating around nailing headshots that this entails, but as Keith points out, Flareth is a legacy looking at you too, flareth the magmar. I took this fight as one about wanting something without regard for consequence, the willingness to upheave your life to go on this nonsensical badge/revenge quest, the desperation to sprint up a trembling building while everyone else goes the other way, the eternity that passes in the moment that Baron looks at Keith before cutting him out of the saddle. There are some things you would not trade for anything, some elements that the world will ask you to yield on that you will refuse, and a lot of those look like Rainer catching a steelix with a Hydro Pump or Flareth beginning to glow with flame.

And on another layer, it’s this idea that your triumph, your suffering, your wanting–is not easily shared, but often demanded. In like all sorts of ways, the least of which is art and the idea of making your suffering into pretty shapes for everyone else to enjoy. But as you grow up and surprise yourself with your own strength, you encounter others who didn’t expect it of you, who look down expecting to find you lacking. You rise to meet them. Sometimes you don’t rise all the way. But it might be enough.

the pokemon theme song is unequivocally a triumphant power ballad and as such doesn’t have a good parallel for the “abyss” part of the hero’s journey but I am, as always, way too committed to this bit to back out now (agatha)​

So I have vestigial, but formative, memories of how it felt to see certain cornerstone media in my life for the first time, where it felt like the world zoomed out a bit and I realized that people build things all the time in more powerful ways than I ever could, or could even expect. Occasionally, this happens in fanfic too. For no particular reason I am iterating this information before I string together the few words I really feel are worth saying about Agatha’s chapter beyond, yeah, this pops off.

Agatha is such a smug monster here; it hits so much harder after the friendliness that everyone’s been giving so far. And again, it makes sense–she’s doing her job, it’s been well-established that this is a mental game, this is a chapter about facing literal ghosts. I think the battle is as effectively written, if not more, as the ones that come before or since. I just really can’t tear myself away from how visceral the aftermath feels, Keith hurling his half-empty belt onto the table, the glinting jewel of Rainer’s pokeball calling him to answer, his refusal.

This is a chapter about doubt that was so raw that it got me to feel the same.

in a world we must defend​

There are a lot of impressive writing upsets in this arc but honestly the one that gets me the most is that I was so invested in the story of the hometown boy earnestly trying to fulfill his dogfighting dream that I glossed over what my younger self claimed to always want more of–the edgy murder knife girl backstory interlude. This is one of those that’s harder to assess, since seeing you lay out the strokes of what you want/wanted to do with this character I understand the arc a lot more clearly, but 1) going in from the beginning I don’t really think all the pieces are quite in the order you wanted and 2) you have a really strong grasp now of what you want to do with those pieces, so I think a lot of my spitballing here is even less helpful than normal.

From a more meta perspective, I do enjoy the focus on Keith over Criss/everyone in the final arc, and I think it’s kinda funny in a black humor way, since it’s not my dream on the line here that the character everyone wanted more of is actually the one who’s running around derailing the story that (I realize now) you seemed to always be wanting to tell–that of how fun it would be to travel the world with your turtle friend, have a good time, and achieve a relatively impressive accomplishment. Audiences suck. Burn that bandana. I would say, and this isn’t strictly a bad thing/yeah it’s the reason you wrote her, that having Criss around as she is kinda makes the feel-good parts of your adventure story go pear-shaped in a lot of ways. She murders a ton of people and the protagonist envies her ability to solve problems. Keith’s not at all recovered, he does eventually realize that this was not as based a course of action as he thought, and there’s a whole sequel to deal with this, but it’s a little hard to square “I hadn’t killed anyone since Mt. Moon, and those were accidents”/“ok my pokemon killed a few but that’s not on me” and the achievement of a childhood dream/how cute Rainer would look in a tie. Whether murder is redeemable and if justice is just collective revenge, etc, are all good story questions, but it's hard imo to do this framed around largely a side character who's intentionally pretty cagey about information for most of the story.

In a story that’s about balancing those two reasons for wanting to go on an adventure, I’m not entirely sure what the message ends up being. Criss is a really broken person, and eventually even she recognizes it, and a lot of what she taught Keith is kind of bad and he’s going to need years to straighten all that shit out–it’s less of a balance imo and more like a very long realization that murder is not based, actually. He learns some things from her and at the end of the day his adaptation/resilience battling skills are from what she encourages him to do, but it feels a lot less pure childhood hall of fame nostalgia when he’s got the unresolved bloodknife in his back pocket. I think you can probably simplify things by keeping the bones of this push-and-pull, with the fun nostalgia of Pokemon + friendship vs Criss + the lure of vigilante justice, without jumping straight to murder. Or maybe just one murder, as a treat, from either Keith or Criss, and that’s what turns Keith back from the edge, instead of what starts him down the path (accidentally killing bad people is still killing people). Otherwise it does paint a much more bleak version for both Keith and the world–these are kids after all, and if they’re going around slitting throats it feels like something in the world has fundamentally failed them, which makes it a lot harder for the emotional climax to be a for-sport Pokemon battle. Again, sequel shit, that’s rough, but structurally then maybe Criss gives him a letter labeled “do not open until sequel after the League”, a decision she really regrets after going to therapy lol.

And besides, I think there are actually a lot of worse things you could do while working for Team Aqua than murder, that don’t strictly carry the moral weight/personal nature of slicing someone’s throat but can still make you be doing really bad things. A lot of those things don’t even have to be individual acts that Criss personally did alone for her to feel bad–that’s the fun beauty of terrorism; it’s often a team sport–and besides, how’d summoning Kyogre/Groudon/whatever go for everyone over there lol? But I think dialing back the visceralness of her bad deeds, maybe spreading the blame out a bit, would go a long way. Imo we’re primed to be a lot less judgy towards one engineer who helped a team program a child-killing drone than someone explicitly just cutting a child’s throat, for example, even though both of those things are a little morally rough and would probably give you the same flavor of character vibes that you want. One of the things I really liked on the reread was how a lot of Keith’s, uh, less N-friendly ways of treating his team come from Criss. It’s one of those things where, in the vacuum of Criss feeling the need to be a really cool really radical terrorist, it makes sense that she’s very pro-tasing her pokemon, the stakes are high for her and she feels like she has a lot to lose; in the vacuum of the casual battling circuit, it’s actually kinda fucked to watch her coaching Tim to beach a gyarados and just hit it until it submits–which again, I think, is the Point, and is to me a lot more nuanced/interesting than murder, especially if the pokemon are also metaphors for Keith lol.

I realize her story does feel more like an afterthought here, so from a small pacing note I’d maybe have her part ways with the entire story before the E4 arc starts? Tricky, idk–especially since there’s a sequel and it’s hard to get a grasp for what the actual full arc you wanted for her to be is–but I think in the grand scheme of things having the interlude not in the E4 arc might help feel a little less abrupt. It might specifically work to make the post-Baron transition a little smoother as well–putting it closer to “the fall” has a similar affect of all these lives moving on while Keith’s at his lowest (while also highlighting how Keith is both so loved and so lonely at that moment), and could give Baron’s stuff some breathing room + let you re-center the reader a bit before pulling back to the journey aspect of the fic. I get why you wouldn’t have wanted to end the content drought with everyone else’s beach episodes, but I also don’t really think the revelations for her offered much where they were–imo the major revelations are the whole “look at my knife it’s a metaphor” conversation before Baron. That's the crux of how/why she ruined her life, whereas the E4 interlude stuff is just explaining which flag she did it under, and that she's finally moving on in addition to saying she will. The moving on bit is important, but it doesn't feel like an ending, which, yeah, sequel shit. This is one of those things where I feel weird recommending moving chairs around when I know you’re also going to demolish a lot of the house I guess.

//pokemon: oh, you’re my best friend​

And hey, since we’re interluding, this entire section is one of those things that I’m just going to put in a spoiler because I don’t know, even after all our conversations, how helpful it’ll be to you. Idk what your intended audience is, but I can say pretty safely that if they’re not me/the five or so people who thought envy of eden had a valid reason for existing, they will probably be totally copacetic with this depiction of pokemon training. It’s friendly enough, and it’s got a lot of badass moments mixed in with a lot of emotions. The beauty of telling a story with realistic characters is that it kinda works out when an uncertain and somewhat self-loathing/guilty child is going to not have wholly healthy relationships with his friends, who are also metaphors for himself.

I think a lot of the broad strokes of this facet of worldbuilding are in the right direction, and I think it’s entirely possible to pull a more friendly angle out of a lot of these interactions without entirely changing the direction of the story or really making it a deep question about ethics at all. I just also think that this is one of those things that most people won’t bat an eye at. This is the aforementioned “broadly-holistic” section that goes more into the general arcs of the story, albeit from one very specific lens.

“I don’t want to fight you anymore, and I’m sure you don’t want to get hurt anymore. There’s no reason for you to resist me, I just want to be your friend. I want you to travel with me, fight for me, and experience the world with me. Together, the two of us could become champions of the Indigo League. All you need to do is listen to what I say.”

So while I was rereading things in the runup to the E4 arc, I realized what I wanted to put in this section without immediately realizing a small novella would follow, I’m sorry around the Baron death bit, when I was rereading my review and realizing how unsuccessfully I had articulated my feelings on these chapters. I’m sorry that all your feedback from me ends up being a lot of statements that look like I’m taking hard stances that I end up reneg’ing years later. In retrospect I think it’s pretty clear that I was at the early stages of my Ncel/eoe villain arc but did not yet have the understanding to express it. For this and so many reasons I would take this entire spoilered section with a grain of salt.

tim and criss
I mentioned earlier that I think it’s cool that Criss is the one standing around sagely offering these super harsh ways of training pokemon. I think it’s a realistic character trait for her to have given her backstory, it works for her broader role in the story of pulling Keith away from the more purist version of the Pokemon journey, and it also does lets her save the day in badass ways when she advocates for jumping onto an aerodactyl or some crazy shit. There are some problems in this story that are met with violence, and I don’t think that’s strictly a wrong stance morally.

It gets a bit muddier for me when Tim starts doing this too, and there’s not really pushback, since he’s more of the fun/fluffy side of training without doing vigilante justice and stuff. I get that I’m inherently cherrypicking some of the least favorable quotes in the story, but if Tim’s meant to represent the pure version of pokemon training and this is what he’s saying about it, I think it leaves you inherently undermining your friendship messages a bit. No idea if this was already on your radar for rewrites in making the Tim/Criss push-pull more explicit, but I think this would be a great facet to drill in on–Tim could probably afford to be nice to his pokemon (and you could handwave that he’s closer to the average Kanto trainer than Keith and Criss), even if they’re unruly, because the worst thing that would happen to him if the gyarados decides not to listen to him is that he has to rematch a gym battle; Criss would probably get an entire city drowned by Kyogre or some shit. There’s aspects of this when Keith observes how militant she is in her training, how he thinks there might be some sort of Point there, but I think having the other Point outlined explicitly with Tim would go a long way here: this way it’s not that this is just how all trainers treat their pokemon, this way we can see that a lot of trainers don’t think it’s actually good and based to throw sharp leaves at your future friends until they agree to experience the world with you, but it’s Criss explicitly taking her radical terrorist backstory back into civilian life. Keith trying to copy her could even broadly cause problems with his relationships with his pokemon, since the moral arc of Criss is largely “do not be Criss”.

psyke
On a broader meta perspective, I think there are basically two arcs for pokemon in a generic journeyfic–either they love their trainer/trainer’s fighting style and are good and based and obey and let their trainer vent all their emotional frustrations into them, or they are naughty and petty and are disobeying the super based trainer for no reason except that pokemon actually only respect violence and need to have the shit beaten out of them before they realize that their trainer was right all along. “There's no reason for you to resist me, I just want to be your friend. [...] All you need to do is listen to what I say.”

That’s not to say that there aren’t other options–Locustod and Psyke both fall a little out of this spectrum–but I also think a few gentle rearrangements of the formula might take you a long way while still having the bones of the story.

I think Psyke’s treatment would be fine if it weren’t also in this backdrop of Tim’s gyarados and Keith tasing Gideon lol. It’s mostly that, even in the most positive version of this trope’s appearance in the story, where Psyke is doing this for his own character reasons as he grows into his power and realizes that he’s not a small sleeby abra any more so he wants to tbag the noobs, the end result is that Keith watches in frustration as his pokemon disobey him and then get the shit beaten out of them, which is their punishment for not obeying him, and if they had just realized he was right and listened to him they wouldn’t have had this happen to them, and also it’s really more of a setback for Keith than anyone else because now he doesn’t get his cool tournament wins and it’s not really clear what an alakazam would want with a trophy anyway. Eventually Psyke gets a chapter where he’s able to speak in real words and he clarifies that this is not exactly what happened to him, and also that Keith is unabashedly correct in his approach and pokemon do have complex moral thoughts but are not weighed down with petty human concepts like freedom of choice. To an extent I think that works but it would help if 1) there were more legwork earlier and 2) Psyke is not broadly speaking for every single pokemon and instead limits his observations to “the ones who walk this path” or something. Especially 2; he kinda says this in his dialogue, but him going around psychic-paralyzing Gideon to help Keith wring the fight out of him, to the point that even in the finale Gideon is still jittery about this and Keith doesn't really seem to mind, is really not indicative of any sort of “they look down on me for making this choice but we can live differently for it” mentality. Because narratively as it is it turns out that Psyke doesn’t mind any of this, Keith is silly for even having these doubts, Keith is still reassured that he’s the edgiest guy around and everyone is worried for him, and there’s nothing to worry about–from a meta perspective I understand the need to clarify this to readers, especially the ones like me who whine so much about this shit, but it does feel like a segment that’s only brought up for external readers.

(I think the easy fix here is just to lean into the pokemon-as-metaphors-for-character-development thing and make it more clearly the underlying motivation for the pokemon as well. Idk maybe Psyke begins to disobey and flaunt because he’s watched Keith fuck up–maybe it starts after Rainer is kidnapped, and Psyke witnesses Keith fail in the whole role of trainer-as-protector, which maybe an abra would take pretty seriously since he would understand that he does need to rely on others until he’s strong enough to wipe things off the map. And also maybe it’s really explicit, and Keith/Psyke realize this, that Psyke or another pokemon follows a specific order Keith gave and that turns out to be unilaterally a bad call–not that there was hidden information or that he went in over his head, just explicitly Keith did have a tangible and obvious failure where the loss of respect that both he and Psyke would feel for Keith’s ability to call the shots feels like something they’d both pin on Keith. Psyke might not be powerful enough to communicate this in words, and this is just what Keith is thinking via intrusive thoughts (he thinks), and you can leave it ambiguous or imply that he and his pokemon are on the same page here, and he’s picking up Psyke’s negative/critical emotions as well as the good ones later. And then maybe as a kadabra/alakazam Psyke feels the need to flaunt more because, again, he feels the need to prove to everyone that he’s super cool and based and can protect himself and everyone else! criss notice me pls Then, when Keith grows as a character, gets Rainer back, gets better at protecting people, gets his head slightly more in order, etc, Psyke starts taking him more seriously again–then it could feel more like Keith’s earned his respect by growing as a person, not by Psyke just getting tired of getting the shit beaten out of him in public. It occurs to me that this is very close to the arc you actually wrote and I might just be suggesting your own idea back to you but louder; feel free to take with a grain of salt that my default method of writing character arcs is to monologue them at people in author’s notes.)

locustod and gideon
Locustod/Gideon are two halves of the same coin, and I think it’s fun. I also just feel really bad for Gideon. I am obviously the most equipped to defend the moral wellbeing of horseshoe crabs.

There’s a really subtle moment in Mewtwo Strikes Back that I really love–when everyone is squaring up for the Charizard/Venusaur/Blastoise vs their clones 1v1’s, the other two trainers are really gung-ho about it. And Ash is too, and then for a moment he’s a little hesitant–he pauses and looks at the ball before releasing Charizard to fight–the line is basically “It may not have a cool nickname, but I do have … a Charizard.” and that ellipses speaks volumes to me lol. There’s probably a really dumb dub/sub lipflap reason for this, but I like to think it’s because he’s a little nervous about this fight, he feels the inadequacy staring him in the face as Shellshocker and Brute Root are ready to listen to their trainers and not take a nap, etc. Since honestly it’s criminally irresponsible to send out an untrained pokemon in an environment where the stakes are permanent injury or death.

Again, it’s the flip side of Tim/Criss–where the stakes for Gyarados disobeying a time of beaching are mostly a lost gym battle, the stakes in all of the Team Rocket encounters are basically death, and it’d be one thing if Keith didn’t realize that at first, but he explicitly does:
“That… is why you LISTEN TO ME!” I shouted at the ball, before returning it to its place on my belt.

One down, and who knew how many more would fall? Who knew how many would survive? I knew I had gotten lucky.
And him knowing from fighting Rockets leads to blood makes sense for the story, it’s good for the Baron bits, etc. And, again, not just one incident in isolation, obviously tensions are running high here, arguably Keith needed all the help he could get, Keith is a child who’s picking up PTSD red flags like a semaphore instructor, etc. It’s just kinda bleak that the choices are always “obey me” or “face violence”, and when they finally pick “obey me” it’s treated like a fair choice. This is one of those things where you could change Psyke/Gyarados and probably be okay leaving the broad strokes of Gideon untouched, or change Gyarados/Gideon and leave Psyke untouched, etc. What weighs on me is moreso the culmination of all the disobedient pokemon coming around to their trainers largely by having the fight beaten out of them, either directly by the trainer/trainer’s pokemon or by proxy via losing battles that the trainer put them in. Or, in the case if Locustod, they never come around at all. But it’s never really something where it feels like both parties meaningfully compromise, so it doesn’t feel fair to call it a friendship.

Part of what makes this awkward for Gideon specifically is that he has fewer options than anyone else. That kabuto/kabutops are extinct is a major part of his character–the inherently more brutal nature of his fighting style draws on the fact that he’s from an older time–but the unspoken bit there is that 1) Keith chose to resurrect him and 2) there’s nowhere else in this world for him to go. I think 1) undermines Keith as a trainer; it turns out he’s kinda like “huh. Neat” when Oak tells him that fossils tend to be kind of aggressive, which just speaks to a huge lack of research and the resurrection team being really irresponsible by giving him this pokemon without making sure he’s equipped to raise it properly. In a world where pokemon are largely animals this feels akin to adopting a dog with massive behavior issues and then being mad when it doesn’t behave. In a world where pokemon are more sapient this feels like the same thing but with children. Neither of them really seem fair to Gideon, but honestly the less sapient one feels more cruel this time–now Gideon doesn’t even really seem to have the mental capabilities to understand why Keith is mad at him; he just keeps getting the shit beaten out of him and then recalled to his pokeball. He is literally afraid of his teammates (namely Psyke), who are metaphors for friendship, going into the final arc, and it’s not really an unfounded fear/guilt thing so much as untreated and unapologetic abuse.

2) really undermines a lot of concepts of choice in training imo; whereas Locustod can probably go back to chilling in the forest, I think in this world all of Gideon’s friends are super dead and releasing him into the wild is probably illegal, causes a ton of ecosystem-level issues, and will probably result in him dying some violent and lonely death. And this is riding on the big if that he even has the intelligence and wherewithal to realize that he could have a life beyond what he’s got, because pokemon in this world are largely animalistic. And the even bigger if is that Keith would need to let him leave. In addition to reiterating “obey me or face violence”, there’s basically nothing left for Gideon in this world except “obey me”, so it feels even less fair when he faces violence.

Structurally idk about this one, I think fossils are a massive can of training ethics worms even before you start tasing them, but it’s doable and could even have some cute fish out of water, i have evolved a lot of violence that is actually not equipped to help in this situation, metaphors if you rearrange the shapes a bit. I think you could lean into the Tim/Criss pull from above and keep the tasing because he wants to impress Criss and show that he’s not a bleeding heart snowflake he’s actually really cool and ready to save the world, but it turns out that it actually only worked for Criss’s pokemon because they had this constant backdrop of being terrorists and understood the stakes, or Criss went around handpicking pokemon that actually wanted/were suited to this kind of training/life, or it didn’t work at all and Flareon has to be wrapped in fireproof blankets whenever there are fireworks and this just happens to be a detail Criss never brings up for a while because why would that be relevant to Keith. Then Keith follows largely the same steps of realizing that he should adapt his battle style around things that Gideon is good at instead of not doing that. I would probably also make it so that he’s more aware of the behavioral issues of training a fossil pokemon beforehand–“aware of” and “able to do it” not strictly being the same things ofc, and make it so the resurrection staff are letting him do this not because he’s the first schmuck in a while to walk in here with a sick fossil that they can put in their science machine, but because he’s an experienced trainer who could help pokemon like this actually exist in the modern world. And like, hey, maybe this is the kind of realization he’s only able to make after he more clearly rejects what Criss/Rocket vengeance is offering–again this is all broadly really close to what you had but I think needs some sort of explicit pre-E4 “hey buddy I’m sorry I put you through a life of war, maybe let’s just have some friendlies instead” conversation to make it land. Maybe it’s not an apology he’s ready to issue to himself yet, but it’s one he can give to a friend who is a metaphor for himself.

My first thought, though way more disruptive-to-plot and potentially less interesting to you, was to, uh, change the nature of Keith’s abuse a little. This is a statement I realize will always make me sound like an asshole. But again it's hard to close the nostalgia fun friendship arc on the kabutops I’ve spent this whole story beating into submission, even if I did learn a valuable lesson that actually tasing my pets could be unhelpful.
The crowd gasped at my rare Kabutops, which pleased me.
But I’d maybe lean more into sentiments like this, and also the (at least what I saw) parallels of Keith unintentionally trying to replace his beloved brown-shelled water friend with another one. I think most of this was intentional, and Gideon is an interesting amalgam of a lot of Keith’s previous failures–he’s a chance to try to train an unruly pokemon when Locustod didn’t work out, he’s a chance to get a shell friend when Rainer’s lost, he’s a chance to flaunt off his rare and cool prowess as a trainer when Psyke’s about to eat mud, he’s named after Oak’s buddy. And initially Gideon ends up being none of these things–he’s more unruly than Locustod, he’s not the stalwart turtle friend, he’s not really living up to the hype of being powerful in addition to rare. I think toning back the violence of Keith’s “training” and replacing it with a different flavor of failure might help (?)--something more akin to a parent living vicariously through their kids, wanting Gideon to be the very best like no one ever was all these things that he’s not, and being disappointed that he’s a violent mudcrab with scythes instead of hands and sometimes your second chances aren’t failures but they don’t work out the way you thought they would either. then also it’s a metaphor for keith. This way they can still have common ground on realizing that their battle styles are different, as the end of his arc suggests–I just think toning back both the explicit violence (tasing) and–maybe(*) the implicit violence (sending him out in environments where disobeying will result in injury and then yelling at him for getting injured) would make it seem less like Keith is unilaterally unpunished for his decision to do blatant violence/abuse, and instead is learning how to treat his friends and also a metaphor for how to treat himself.

(*)this one could go either way imo. Either Keith feels like he has to do it in the moment because he’s got no choice and if he gets turned to raspberry jam on the rooftop his pokeballs will probably get destroyed too, but then maybe he could feel bad about doing this afterward and acknowledge that even if this was the only choice he had it still shafted Gideon see it’s a metaphor for Gideon choosing “obey me” over literally there is no where else for a kabutops to go in this world. Or Keith weighs the choice, decides he can’t risk Gideon disobeying and then dying, and explicitly enters this fight at a disadvantage as a result, which in turn I think feathers (ha) nicely into “the fall”. Speaking of feathering–

baron
So about 3400 words ago I mentioned that I reread my “nolan drinks coffee” chapter review and it made me realize I was at the time unable to articulate what about the chapter structure didn’t quite resonate with me. This one is fun to revisit because now I’m just older and more anxious that I’m lying to myself in thinking that I’ve figured it out, and in five more years I’ll come back and–

I think I still agree with my background commentary that this felt sudden in the course of the story–I just think the exact details used to support it like “the fight was over, the good guys won” are very stupid, lol, this story clearly punishes its characters for these kinds of things, and has done so since the beginning. I would say the more underlying commentary is that I wished some of the character bits came through more clearly earlier on–this is the part where Keith’s vigilante dreams get cut down, both literally in the sense that he falls from a very tall height, and literally in the sense that he stops doing vigilante things, and metaphorically in the sense that the bird that symbolizes his vigilante dreams is bleeding out after being cut and falling from a very great height. So far he’s been able to justify this badass power fantasy because the only person really getting hurt, besides the people he accidentally killed and Rainer and most of his pokemon, is himself; now he sees that there are real consequences, and he’s honestly been ignoring them this whole time.

And as a result, to my pre-N-pilled self, I think I had problems wrapping my head around this style of arc because, yeah, Keith’s been worried about this happening all along, everyone warns him that these kinds of actions have these kinds of consequences, and it finally happens, and someone else pays the price for him and he’s just left with the guilt. It’s not unrealistic and one of the shittiest things in life is realizing that the pain you thought you could bear is instead going to crush someone else. I think it’s more that, in twenty years of being a Pokemon fan and being told this is equality, it’s always the pokemon who die for the human’s character growth rather than the other way around–it’s also just that that kind of baggage isn’t really your story’s responsibility. The knife’s edge between “this death devastates me” and “this is just pointless fridging smh representation” really just boils down to how much a reader likes the characters who survive to bury the bodies lol. Now that I’m older I think I’m able to extend a lot more empathy towards Keith as a character, and the pieces of the sequence make a lot more sense as a result. A lot of my feelings for the Baron death are inextricable with the current portrayal of Psyke/Gyarados/Locustod/Gideon treatment, and how Keith views pokemon in general–if I’d been able to wrap my head a bit more around how Keith viewed the injury/pain and choice of pokemon when they weren’t explicitly benefiting him, it would’ve made Baron’s death land. i swear to god i will not make any more of these puns.

And again this is one where I feel like I’m recommending wallpaper colors on the house you’re going to burn down, or it’s one of those things where I’m afraid that what I’m asking for is for you to burn down the parts of the house you’d actually wanted to keep up, so idk, I’m sorry. It’s also more about the culmination of you wrote this story across ten years and I think there’s a lot you want to change, so imo my thoughts on Baron specifically aren’t worth writing out in longform and it’s more a broader statement about how I think some things could be changed to make the Baron chapter work (to me) without changing much of the substance of that specific chapter–which I think now works well in isolation but feels a bit limited by the character decisions that came before it.

I think broadly what tripped me up the first time, and also this time, and also always in this entire fandom, I am so sorry, is the idea of communication and choice. “MY CHOICE” is one of those powerful things that shouldn’t have to be said–but also is so powerful that when it is said, there’s real weight behind it. And for the record I really love the physicality of Psyke carving these words, so. Like I am not kidding I stan this image so much. I reread this like two years ago and briefly considered a semi-shitpost semi-not oneshot about all the people who pass by these words while the world turns on, and what they imagine would drive someone to brutally carve them with a fucking spoon, and i did not write this mostly only because i am still just a tiny bit afraid to put my entire foot into my mouth about what i thought the themes of this story are. It is a concept that is metal as fuck.

I think more broadly, and this is really where I lean back into “there’s a huge chance no one else in your audience cares at all about this”, the only times before “MY CHOICE” that Keith’s pokemon make choices that are communicated to him in a positive light (in the sense that like, they should not immediately be overwritten by Keith’s choice) are when they’re the choices that align with Keith’s. It’s less about this scene and more about the culmination of the other times there weren’t communications or the choices were “obey me or face violence”. It’s kinda tricky since, like you say, in this world the pokemon are more animalistic–but then there’s this pitfall that if they’re animalistic their choices shouldn’t have much weight even if they’re good, since they’re animals and if they have a complex sense of duty/justice then they’re not really that animalistic any more. And again, I get why you wouldn’t want to introduce six side characters with agency and choices that affect the plot who aren’t fully people and also can’t communicate outside of squawking and laying dominos out, or why you wouldn’t want to introduce six xeno side characters with their own set of xeno values that are separate but equal but not equal to human morals–but I think this hole is sort of dug for you already since A) you want moments like them choosing to die for Keith to serve as story climaxes and B) they do represent character arcs for Keith.

Imo the pieces for Baron are all there. From the beginning he’s the one pulling Keith into Team Rocket stuff, it’s literally beating up Rocket grunts that gives him power, etc etc. Of all the pokemon his choice is the most clear, and also the easiest to digest: I could buy that this is a pidgeot who is just inexplicably called to the idea of doing the right thing, and is also blinded to the consequences of his actions because he is, at the end of the day, a bird. I would maybe put some tension back in on the other side of things–maybe as the Team Rocket stuff starts to ramp up, Baron is less/not interested in doing League things because CA-CAWWWW JUSTICE, maybe Psyke’s final argument for going to the League is for a pokemon who’s less intrinsically tied up in the metaphor for killing the non-League bits of Keith, like Rainer, instead of “do it for him”, so that it’s more clear that Baron’s goals, while aligned with Keith/the story’s, were not always identical.

the power that's inside
“Astutely observed Keith, and that is why you should only use this ability [the psychic connection] under certain circumstances. I’m sure that you will be a good enough judge of what these circumstances are.”
I guess, to nail down my thoughts and try to stand by them, the real sticking point is that there doesn’t have to be a black box for communication. Keith can always know what his pokemon are thinking. It’s just that when it comes down for him to be a “good enough judge” of when to use this power, he mostly picks the sickass fight combos, which is cool for the combos and makes your fights really good, but it also leaves these big questions when it turns out that these pokemon had complex moral choice systems all along. From a meta perspective I really get why you’re here again lol, I do not think you ever wanted to write longform xeno bits in this and I don’t think you need to, but having a psychic protagonist is one of those bits where I think you need to commit wholly to the bit or risk muddying the point.

It’s also one of those things where, specifically in the context of this story and not in the obvious sequel hooks where Keith is secretly mecha Mewtwo in a trenchcoat, because Keith doesn’t lean fully into being psychic it’s almost like he doesn’t have to. Pokemon as metaphors aside, in an in-universe context the psychic connection gives his pokemon the ability to react faster (which could also just be substituted by Keith training them to have good reflexes), for Keith to communicate in a way that surprises other trainers (which could be substituted by Keith having codenames or signals), and for Keith to figure out if he’s really fucked up and one of his pokemon is dead (which is usually solved empirically anyway). And “just cut out the protagonist’s major special ability” isn’t really a solution here, which is why honestly I’m treading water in this section–but I think then the only option is to lean in.
“You are not looking into every detail of every memory that your Pokémon has ever had,” my teacher explained, “You will only see the most important events, the things that are constantly on the Pokémon’s mind and have shaped its character.”’

Both Baron’s and Rainer’s memories comprised almost entirely of me, although I caught some interesting glimpses of the Pokémon league HQ in the latter. Locustod apparently was several years old, and had seen a lot of things around Viridian Forest, but nothing incredibly memorable.
This is a lot of words to say I think stripping just a touch of the protagonist-centric morality of being a trainer would go a long way here. I didn’t pull every single example but for a guy with empath powers Keith spends a lot of time not understanding the people/friends around him–again, not a flawed thing, it’s kind of the Point–but I think the flipside is that the pokemon probably should have motivations not strictly related to him, even if for a while Keith doesn’t understand them fully. Not even for an ethics thing, just that it makes better sense for the broad metaphorical strokes you’re trying to pull here. They don’t need fully-formed backstories or character arcs ofc but the weight of “my choice” lands a lot more if there’s something tangible outside of [Keith] and [death] for them to choose. Maybe Baron does have a non-Keith memory that forms his desire for justice. Maybe after being rescued Rainer does have a lot of thoughts about how sad it is to be a turtle kidnapped by Team Rocket. Maybe Locustod’s got a reason for being a little shit. Maybe [all of the stuff in the Psyke/Gideon section]. Etc. Honestly I think one of the coolest things about Pokemon is the idea of unspoken communication, our hearts are different but they beat as one, love without words–but if you’re going to make your guy psychic then you’re probably going to have to lean all the way into that, or else it’s really unclear (or just kinda mean) why he only uses the direct communication when it benefits his fights, his own personal mental state, and little else.

On a micro level, so much of this unfortunately boils down to word choice--the woes of first-person narration.
Tesla had always been a fairly independent Pokémon, with their own motivations and purpose, but never disobeyed. It always fought with intent and a flat acceptance that when we fought together, we would succeed.
  • "It always fought with a flat acceptance that when we fought together, we would succeed", as well as generally understanding now what you want from this story, would make me think that the speaker of this sentence is admiring Tesla's determination, that their/its resolve is what forms the cornerstone of their relationship.
  • "Tesla had always been a fairly independent Pokemon, with their own motivations and purpose, but never disobeyed", however, would make me think that the speaker of this sentence is admiring Tesla's obedience, that what makes this relationship valuable is that Tesla unquestioningly yields to the speaker's authority. Bringing up Tesla's independence, motivation, and purpose, then feels prefaced by a huge "but"--the speaker acknowledges these things about Tesla, but what's most important to the speaker is that at the end of the day, Tesla's motivation comes second.
  • Something like "Tesla had always been a fairly independent Pokemon, with their own motivations and purpose, but never faltered", I think, would help remove some of those connotations. It's true, of course, that Tesla also never disobeyed Keith, and you don't really have to change the plot to make every single pokemon bringing up massive conflict in Keith's life--it's just that when obedience is enshrined as the more positive trait over someone else's purpose, it doesn't really feel like a friendship.
And I think, broadly speaking, a lot of these are easier to do (and again this is specifically from the lens of if you want pokemon to represent these complex character arcs) if the pokemon spend more time out of their pokeballs. You can probably handwave the fact that they aren’t all out all the time, and conveniently only the relevant ones have narrative attention drawn to them, and for whatever reason Keith happens to be next to the most relevant pokemon emotionally every time it matters–but it’s fundamentally easier to make their choices and their friendships matter if they’re on screen more.

Largely it’s hard to square a story that’s got several conflicts of “I cannot understand why my pokemon won’t listen to me” with “I am an empath”. Likewise it’s also hard to square “that is why you listen to me” with “MY CHOICE”. It’s one of those things that I don’t think is impossible tbh–the obvious “why won’t they listen to me”/”I am an empath” solve is that what the pokemon are asking are things that Keith can’t or doesn’t want to give; the “listen to me”/”my choice” works on the tail end of an arc of Keith realizing that his pokemon can make choices that vary from his own, and that these choices aren’t what he would do/what he wants them to do but are still choices he should/has to respect. Tasing Gideon and never apologizing for it outright, beaching Gyarados until he listens, never questioning the forest Locustod left--these moments undermine the fire sparking in Flareth’s eyes when he’s pinned by a steelix, Psyke resigning himself to losing for a victory, Keith refuting Lance’s suspicion that Zyanya evolved under coercion. I don’t think this is what you want.

To put it another way, the concept of “I choose you” works so well in the finale because we can see the other options Keith could've had--he could've given up so many times over, he could've picked Charmander, he could've quit. There are even times when he wished he did, but he didn't. There are people who would've picked differently, but he didn't. We see the consequences of this choice, and the alternatives, all over the story, and that's what makes the stakes high, because that's what makes his choice matter. I. Choose. You.

And realistically this entire spoilered section is just a several thousand words too many to say–

My choice. / All you need to do is listen to what I say. / You teach me and I’ll teach you.

–one of these things is not like the others.

ultimately
Again, writing a story with realistic characters means that sometimes the characters don’t do the “right” thing, and sometimes they never come around to that. I don’t really think there should be a moral onus in any story to make everything fully sanitized or ethical–a major conflict here, for example, is that Team Rocket is broadly exploiting pokemon and in this world there’s not really a fast way to stop it. And honestly even in that framework Keith goes above and beyond to help pokemon out in the broad strokes of things + for that reason alone inarguably he is making Kanto a better place for pokemon even if nothing else in this story changed. This broad level of change is really only something I’m writing out because you mentioned entire rewrites are very much in the cards; otherwise I think the bones of what you got would be sufficient enough for most people in your intended audience.

If the pokemon were largely animalistic and external (ie these are my pets who are not metaphors for my mental state) and the character arcs were largely internal (ie Keith does a lot of fuck-ups but not in a way that meaningfully changes his pokemon), I wouldn’t really dig in here, since then it’s just Keith being a big bucket of “everything is fine” but mostly just self-destructing instead of causing harm to the characters who are also meant to represent friendship. In the separate scenario it wouldn’t feel necessary (to me) for Keith to explicitly go out of his way to apologize/respect/make things right, since his mental state is uncoupled from these guys and there’s less emotional catharsis tied into how he treats them, since it represents a purely external relationship rather than his own growth.

I think in some cases decoupling might even help you: the pokemon metaphors make a character development before Keith does, and in watching them Keith begins to realize something about himself–maybe Keith complains to Oak that he just can’t figure out why Gideon is so skittery and traumatized and can’t look his other mental states pokemon in the eye, all their training was exactly what Criss recommended and she’s so good at this stuff, and Oak is like “sonny, maybe he needs a hug”. Or maybe Criss doesn’t release Tentacruel pick Nidoking out of utility/respect/time to move on but instead because Tentacruel pick Nidoking panics specifically after a Team Rocket fight, and she comments that he’s pick Nidoking just not cut out for her line of work, and she’s not going to risk her/Tentacruel’s life trying to make it work and plus, pick Nidoking, poor guy evolved too early because he snuck into her stash of mt. moon stones so now he can’t learn new moves, and then Keith is like “I guess??? but what about Nidorina, aren’t the two of them supposed to work together, I know Nidoking might not have the mental game that she does but he’ll get there, I’m sure of it” and Criss scowls dramatically into her bandana/the middle distance and is all “nothing good ever comes out of making someone into what they’re not”. twenty chapters later Criss sits in the woods with her thumb hovering on the perma-release button of a pokeball; her knuckles whiten on Nidoqueen’s shoulder spike; she clips the pokeball to her belt; they watch her bandana burn together. the sky darkens to reveal another star. Or maybe Keith comments that Tim’s babying Cubone too much, Cubone could totally have stayed in on that attack, and Tim is like “bruh his mom just died, the last thing he needs right now is to feel that kind of pressure” and then there’s a really awkward silence. Any/all of these scenes are followed with a hard cut to Nolan sipping his coffee with one eyebrow raised.

This is one of those things that I don’t think every story has to look at, or think about, or even get right. It’s just that specifically in a story about how we return to our roots and how the baseline fantasy of Pokemon is making friends with these alien creatures who so often defy our expectations, and specifically in a story where these roots and these friends are metaphors for growing up, this does become one of those things that I squint at as a reader. “Boy has destructive and self-loathing tendencies” = a character; “boy’s self-loathing tendencies lead him to lash out at those closest to him, who also coincidentally or not happen to resemble boy’s tendencies, and these remain somewhat unresolved” = a story about a character, with a sequel; it’s just the jump to “boy lashes out at those closest to him, remains unresolved, and also symbolizes boy’s growth, self-actualization, and triumphant friendship” that I think needs more finessing beyond “see sequel” for this ending to land fully (in a rewrite).

For most of my time reading this--and for reasons you're free to attribute to my own admitted reading comprehension, trainer-critical bias, etc, I will not deny that those play into this heavily--I interpreted this story as more of a deck-building style power fantasy, where the "what" of each pokemon was more important than the "who", where obedience is expected/demanded. I don't think this is an inherently flawed structure/story to want to write; it's just that talking with you and reading the final arc makes it more clear that you broadly wanted (I think) something closer to a friendship fantasy, where loyalty is offered/earned. I think a lot of the pieces for either option are already present, and if you didn't change much it that’s honestly not something I think a lot of readers would consciously call you out on, though I suspect you might make them appreciate the story more holistically if you do.

our courage will pull us through (lance)​

Again, David as a supportive force works so well here. He is supportive. He is a force. These are one and the same. That is what makes this so intimidating every time he pops up.

It’s obvious to me that the reason he fights is to take out his aggression.
i’m sure glad that this doesn’t have several meanings

To raise a dragon takes both strength and wisdom. Zyanya.

There’s some really perfect structure about the order of KO’s in this. Keith’s entire team gives vibes of “had us in the first half ngl”; short of a gyarados he basically goes around farming every possible Kanto pokemon that starts out as innocuous and evolves into a freight train. This works on such a core journeyfic level for his character, but it also works in this moment where he’s looking at the cards he’s got left and it’s all the little dudes who have always believed they could be big dudes, if someone could just give them the tiniest nudge. You can strip away your shields and your pride and your desires; at the end, after everything, it’s still you.

Gideon was knocked free and began to plummet. Panic echoed back across our psychic connection. My heartrate skyrocketed.
i’m sure glad this doesn’t have several meanings, pt ii

There’s also some really solid tension in Keith realizing what’s coming after the first dragonite, some sort of symmetry that he’s always known. I’m sorry that you got pulled away from the image of a blastoise beating the absolute fuck out of a charizard. I am also very glad that this sequence exists. There’s also, like David, something really endearing about Lance just having a good time in this battle, grinning when Keith’s ahead or trying to copy his own strategies, conceding even when he could probably drag it out. It’s a good but natural pivot from everyone else pretty much point-blank admitting that they were trying to break Keith in half, but rather than undermining anything it just really cements how confident Lance is if he can be this relaxed.

A smarter me would probably have structured this review more properly to wax eloquent on the meta commentary latent in “you like to fight all the way to the end. so do it.” Unfortunately I chucked all of that into a different section. Either way the pieces of this battle really click, it’s poetry, it rhymes, this is how it feels to face your fears and become your heroes. Having the cavalry of this arc/chapter be the crew that primarily has eaten shit this entire story is entirely worth it, imo.

This felt like a chapter about keeping promises that you didn’t even realize you made. Keith and Gideon come through for each other. Rainer withdraws knowing that he’s going to come back tomorrow. Zyanya keeps the dream alive, forever. The three pokemon that are left all grew up faster than they should’ve; so did Keith; it’s time to make good on what growing up means.

i choose you​

Knowing where this fic started, I can finally appreciate the reminiscing about Dad taking me and my friends camping. Even without it, yeah, these are effective stakes. There’s an easy, peaceful, fun alternative that other people are able to recognize and respect. It’s not a failure. It’s just not what Keith wants.

I continued to be impressed by how each new fight adds layers to the arc. This one is a culmination of the entire gauntlet–David’s had four battles to figure out how to counterpick Keith, and Keith’s had four battles to run out of options. David’s advice up until this point has been genuine, but also the insight he’s provided speaks to an underlying ability to see what Keith can’t–because he’s had time to pay attention. Also, yeah, I’m a lot more sold on the “fearow = gbh” headcanon than i’d ever really thought, i wish it had longer legs, but it’s not unreasonable … anyway, rafflesia, i understood that reference …

And then the Golem exploded.
i’m sure glad this doesn’t have several–

There’s something really endearing about how much more supportive Keith is in his fight, how much more the commands get bolstered with “u got this bae” and “I believe in you” compared to some of the frantic scrabbling that came before. At the end of the day I can’t really shake the knowledge that this is all metaphors for a boy learning to love himself, but even if I could, it’s all here. It comes home in the epilogue chapter ofc, where everyone's making their speeches and giving hugs and singing fun folk songs, but it's refreshing to see it reflected in the internal monologue as well, especially after Keith's spend probably the last 100k or so words eating shit and giving himself shit.

I stood strong and blinked through the cloud of dust, wind whipping at my jacket. The air smelled musty. Sweat, ozone, dirt, water, and through it all: flowers. I smiled. Smelled like a Pokémon battle.
I think, and this is really subtle/apocryphal even though it’s literally my own thoughts, this is where I realized he was actually going to win. It’s the same kind of joyful confidence he’s admired in Lance, and now he doesn’t even realize it’s his.

I’m gonna be real, I have tried to distance myself from being sucked into the narrative and give some objective praise for these last few chapters, because at this point I should be able to use more words to express what worked than what didn’t, and, unilaterally, I think you deserve it, this is just a really solid chunk of writing through and through. Blah blah blah me bitching about cliche structure, no, forget that, this is s-tier setup and payoff, I am taking no arguments. At the end of the day, sorry, this entire sequence flows in a really sickass way and I don’t really have a good way to express that; I've tried to go back a few times for line quotes and shit and end up just being distracted by the story. Oops. Ultimately, and idealistically, I think I stick with this fandom through and through because I believe that there are moments that will melt my coldass heart and reignite the inexplicable joy that everyone feels when a squirtle takes off his sunglasses and jumps into Ash’s arms. Cynically I've almost accepted that I am too old for this shit and am tired of overinvesting in things that never actually pay off.

And, well, here we are.

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anyway, really glad that Keith and all his friends are happy and this is the definite end where they get their wish and keep it, based. good fic upd8 more.

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rip my hands autocorrect to "Rainier" for reasons I can't fathom, so please enjoy this image that lived rent-free in my head today
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