DJ iOmega
Itadakimasu!
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2013
- Messages
- 4,147
- Reaction score
- 57
"You hear me, Jack?! You killed my friends! You destroyed my product line! I am the last Claptrap in existence, AND I AM GOING TO TEABAG YOUR CORPSE!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"Hyperion's gonna regret ever setting foot on Pandora! Minion, I'm gonna get that door open so I can take care of that Handsome bastard myself!
I'm not scared, Jack -- there's nothing you can dish out that I can't overcome! NOTHING!
STAIRS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Minion, you’ve gotta go on without me! Do your master proud!
Dammit, Jack -- how did you know stairs were my ONLY weakness?! Next to electrocution, and explosions, and gunfire, rust, corrosion, being kicked a lot, viruses, being called bad names, falling from great heights, drowning, adult onset diabetes, being looked at funny, heart attacks, exposure to oxygen, being turned down by women, and pet dander! Your brilliance is matched only by your malevolence!
I'm just gonna go ahead and cloak now. You can't hear me crying if I cloak!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually. Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribcage!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"Raggin’ fraggin’ locked gate! Ooh -- idea! Minion, get on that cannon!
Just blast this gate down, but DON’T do it until I’m out of the way! Understand? If you shot the gate now, that could cause serious damage to me! So don’t do that! I’m just standing here to show you the area you should shoot after I move away, which I will once I am totally convinced you understand the instructions I am relaying to you! Do you understand? I know it’s kind of complicated, but just stick with me! When it’s okay for you to shoot this gate with the cannon, I’ll say something like, “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” But that was just a test. You didn't shoot the gate when I said that, which was good. “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” Also another test. You're doing me proud, minion. ...Actually, I’m getting bored. Just shoot the gate now for realsies." Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"Ow! Guys, you don’t HAVE to beat me up -- we can talk this through, right? Here, I’ll do it for you! “Hey Claptrap, how are you?” “Oh, I’m fine -- I kinda wish you wouldn't beat me up, though. “Why?” “Cause it really hurts!” “You make a good point, Claptrap, but beating you up makes US feel really good!” “I know, I know, guys, but it makes ME feel really bad!” “But Claptrap, you’re a robot -- are you even capable of feeling pain?” “Well, uh, no, I guess I’m not.” “So, pummelling you makes us feel good, and DOESN'T hurt you, there’s no harm in us continuing to do it, right?” ...Actually, now that I’ve talked it all out, I think you guys have the moral high ground, here. Pummel away!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"We’re near Sanctuary, minion. You go on ahead -- tell the locals what we’ll require for my “welcome back” party. I’ll stay in here and give ‘em time to get what we need. Number one: ladies. Obvious. Number two: dudes. But hideous ones. we’re talkin’ morbidly obese, we’re talkin’ body odor, we’re talkin’ acne scars. The ladies’ll take one look at these uggos and BAM! I start lookin’ pretty good! Suddenly, it’s not, “ew, get away from me you pervy little robot, you’re creeping me out, why are you crying, I didn’t even know robots could cry, look, if I give you a hug will you stop crying, alright, but keep that disc tray inside, OH GOD WHAT IS THIS, MOTOR OIL?” It’ll be more like, “Claptrap, rescue me from these uggos and hump my leg,” which I WILL. Number three: we’ll need booze, in case that other stuff doesn’t work. Number four: streamers. Number fi-- are you writing all this down? Minion? Are you even-- you even here? Still? Lonely. Claptrap. Borderlands 2"
"Hyperion's gonna regret ever setting foot on Pandora! Minion, I'm gonna get that door open so I can take care of that Handsome bastard myself!
I'm not scared, Jack -- there's nothing you can dish out that I can't overcome! NOTHING!
STAIRS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Minion, you’ve gotta go on without me! Do your master proud!
Dammit, Jack -- how did you know stairs were my ONLY weakness?! Next to electrocution, and explosions, and gunfire, rust, corrosion, being kicked a lot, viruses, being called bad names, falling from great heights, drowning, adult onset diabetes, being looked at funny, heart attacks, exposure to oxygen, being turned down by women, and pet dander! Your brilliance is matched only by your malevolence!
I'm just gonna go ahead and cloak now. You can't hear me crying if I cloak!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually. Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribcage!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"Raggin’ fraggin’ locked gate! Ooh -- idea! Minion, get on that cannon!
Just blast this gate down, but DON’T do it until I’m out of the way! Understand? If you shot the gate now, that could cause serious damage to me! So don’t do that! I’m just standing here to show you the area you should shoot after I move away, which I will once I am totally convinced you understand the instructions I am relaying to you! Do you understand? I know it’s kind of complicated, but just stick with me! When it’s okay for you to shoot this gate with the cannon, I’ll say something like, “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” But that was just a test. You didn't shoot the gate when I said that, which was good. “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” Also another test. You're doing me proud, minion. ...Actually, I’m getting bored. Just shoot the gate now for realsies." Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"Ow! Guys, you don’t HAVE to beat me up -- we can talk this through, right? Here, I’ll do it for you! “Hey Claptrap, how are you?” “Oh, I’m fine -- I kinda wish you wouldn't beat me up, though. “Why?” “Cause it really hurts!” “You make a good point, Claptrap, but beating you up makes US feel really good!” “I know, I know, guys, but it makes ME feel really bad!” “But Claptrap, you’re a robot -- are you even capable of feeling pain?” “Well, uh, no, I guess I’m not.” “So, pummelling you makes us feel good, and DOESN'T hurt you, there’s no harm in us continuing to do it, right?” ...Actually, now that I’ve talked it all out, I think you guys have the moral high ground, here. Pummel away!" Claptrap. Borderlands 2
"We’re near Sanctuary, minion. You go on ahead -- tell the locals what we’ll require for my “welcome back” party. I’ll stay in here and give ‘em time to get what we need. Number one: ladies. Obvious. Number two: dudes. But hideous ones. we’re talkin’ morbidly obese, we’re talkin’ body odor, we’re talkin’ acne scars. The ladies’ll take one look at these uggos and BAM! I start lookin’ pretty good! Suddenly, it’s not, “ew, get away from me you pervy little robot, you’re creeping me out, why are you crying, I didn’t even know robots could cry, look, if I give you a hug will you stop crying, alright, but keep that disc tray inside, OH GOD WHAT IS THIS, MOTOR OIL?” It’ll be more like, “Claptrap, rescue me from these uggos and hump my leg,” which I WILL. Number three: we’ll need booze, in case that other stuff doesn’t work. Number four: streamers. Number fi-- are you writing all this down? Minion? Are you even-- you even here? Still? Lonely. Claptrap. Borderlands 2"