Watching Pokémon Through the Eyes of a Teenager

[ShinjiLover]

Yeah, I decided to make one of these when I saw that my friend had something similar up. No worries, I asked full permission from him to go ahead and take this idea.

Idea from: Kenji Sasaki
His fic: Why FireRed Stinks

As you can see, I also made it similar to his (on account of I couldn't think of any other way). Well, this is pretty much what I thought the whole way through the course of the Pokémon episodes from the anime, starting at the first episode of Diamond and Pearl.

Enjoy!

--

Chapter 1: Episode the First​

Holy crap. . That opening was extremely dramatic.
Aww, look at the kitty cat.
. . .
Turn that damn alarm off, you whore!
Oh, good.

Dawn? Hell, no; more like Hikari.
Dude, her mama has huge hair.
. . .
Haha, she wants to be a coordinator.
Can we say 'Haruka imitation'?

No! Not a daydream!
The Pokémon creators have written those enough. .
Ick, Chimchar? How about Hikozaru?
No, don't pick that thing, fire-types would suck in contests.

Personally, I'd prefer using something that can use water-type moves.
Piplup? How about Pochama?
Foreshadowing, much?
Oh, dude! If I could, I'd get a water-type, psychic-type, and ice-type.

Gorudakku, use Hydro Pump!
Yeah. Great, now use Ice Beam!
Awesomeness, now give 'em a Psybea- Oh, the show's still going on.
Is it just me, or is Hikari's outfit stupid now?

Turtwig? How about Naetoru?
Yeah, my favorite.
I can see it now!
Go, Dodaitosu, use- Oh, the show's still going on.

That was a stupid appeal.
. . .
Sheesh, is it a must to have all of that stuff, now?
Yeah, mom, you tell her!
All you need is teh 'pack.

Wait. . Couldn't Hikari just use that ribbon to pretend she was already a coordinator?
That's what I'd do.
"Oh, this?
Yeah, it's my ribbon.
I know I just started, I'm just that awesome."

No need to worry my ass.
She gunn' kill herself.
Dang, that is one sleepy cat.
Glameow, right? Nah, how about Nyaruma?

Oh, I love this music.
Dan-dan-dan-dan-dan. . Dan!
Masago Town's music rawks!
Oh, crap, she's already run into Nanakamado.
Rowan? Ew.

He creeps me out.
Mm, Masago Town's music.
Damn, that scientist is hot.
I need his number.

Haha, Pochama and Hikozaru are fighting.
Yeah, Bubblebeam that sucka!
Heh, Naetoru doesn't even care.
Oh, yes, turn Pochama to the Mukkuru and Mukkuhoku, that's an excellent idea.

That is one pissed off Mukkuhoku.
Man, that is also one strong Mukkuhoku.
. . .
Ha! Poor Naetoru is scared of Nanakamado.

Oh, yeah, Hikari, go look for wild and enraged Pokémon.
In the wild.
With other wild and enraged Pokémon.
. . .
Heheh, Hikozaru has got some awesome moves.

Oh no Pochama did not.
Damn!
Look at Hikari's jumpin' skillz.

Yeah, chase after the Pochama that just tried to kill you with bubbles.
Why is it always Ariadosu that wants to eat other Pokémon?
Oh my God, is that a Nokocchi?
Holy crap, those things are never in any episodes.

Dude, Hikari is actually being smart in this episode?
She's stupid in all the others.
Eh! She just fell down a large hill.
After catching only Pochama.
What about the poor other Pokémon?
Heartless.

Just take the damn food, you stupid Pochama.
Holy crap!
An orgy of Ariadosu!
. . .
Heheheh, orgy.
That reminds me of this hentai I was wa- Oh, the show's still going on.

Oh, man, Pochama is listening to Hikari who is suddenly intelligent.
Ah, the only time Pochama ever uses Bide. .
Wait, wait, wait.
Why is that every other Pokémon who is bad, besides Nyaasu, gets a happy ending?
But then these Ariadosu don't?
Poor Ariadosu, that's not fair. .
And now Pochama is dead. . Oh, sorry, it fainted.

Haha, Hikozaru got caught by Mukkuhoku.
Lucky, she got to see Emuritto.
My favorite is Yukushi.
. . .
Go back to the dang lab!

Oh, of course Pochama is gunna be her starter.
Where's poor Satoshi?
Oh, I found him!
Aww, Eipamu.
And, of course, there's Roketto-Dan.

Okiddo! Kenji!
Mostly Kenji, he's awesome.
We hardly ever see Kenji. . Poor Kenji.
Oh em gee, Roketto-Dan has a bazooka!
Oh, it's just a metal hand. . Of course it is.

Why Pikachu? Why is it always Pikachu?
What's so special about it?
Raichu is better.
. . .
Satoshi, is the question 'who did that' necessary?
Honestly, who else would do that?

Haha, Nyaasu's accent sucks so much.
I prefer Inuyama-sama's attempts.
Mmm, Manta-kun. I loves him.
Oh, wait, the show's still going on.

Kojiro, double-u tee eff. Wobb-ster?
You couldn't have thought of a better name?
And Roketto-Dan is blasting off again!
Why aren't they dead?

Oh, good gracious, it's finally over. .
. . . Now I'm bored.

--

Join in next time for the next chapter!
Chapter 2: Episode the Second

 

[Jayc]

8D Are you going to do this to every DP episode?

 

[ShinjiLover]

Yes, sir, I am! =] I take it that you enjoyed it? Well, watch for the next chapter which is coming up tomorrow!

 

[Jayc]

I did, but well, you aren't going to go past Battle Dimension, are you?

 

[Kiratwig]

Wow now i can see why you stayed up all night. It mustve took some effort

 

[ShinjiLover]

I did, but well, you aren't going to go past Battle Dimension, are you?

I'm going to try. =]

Well, kiratwig, I mostly stay up drawing a picture. But this did take about 45 minutes to do.

 

[Kiratwig]

wow and youll do every episode i gotta give you credit ; )

 

[ShinjiLover]

Thanks for the nice words, everyone, I hope I get more readers soon!

--

Chapter 2: Episode the Second​

Oh, yes, Hikari, leave your bike where people can steal it.
. . .
Well, dur, you're supposed to go catch Pokémon first.
What else are you gunna do?
"Let's go challenge a Gym Leader!"
Dumbass.

Oh, God, no!
Not this awful, rap-tastic opening!
It makes my head explode like from Scanners!

. . .
Good, it's over.
Aww, look at the – Buneary?
How about Mimiroru?
. . .
Oh my God, you suck!
Haha, Pochama just got Dizzy Punched.
Haha, Hikari just got Bounced!
I wonder if the creators meant to do this?
Like since she catches a Mimiroru in the future.

Aww, poor Pochama is upset.
Wait, who says 'keep on truckin' anymore?
Lookie, a Minomucchi. . Wait, whaddya mean 'Burmy'?
Ew.

Haha, she can't even catch a Minomucchi!
. . . Just throw the dang Monster Ball at it!
See? Now it got away and Pochama's gotta give you 'the talk'.

Hey, it's Satoshi's Pikachu!
Didn't this happen last season?
No, wait. . No, Pikachu ran away and was sick last season.
Ha, you're going to use Pochama against a Pikachu.

Damn, Pikachu just owned Pochama. And that bike.
Now that happened last season, I know it!
Yes, 'extra crispy' bike, on the house!
See? Pikachu's got an owner.
A stupid owner, mind you.
No, Pika, don't run away!

Uh-oh, Habunake.
And Dokukeiru!
And Sabonea!
And Nyaasu!

Yes, he freaking talks.
Yes, he's freaking adorable as well.
. . .
Friends don't attack friends, Roketto-Dan, way to lie to the girl.
And she doesn't believe you.
Wait, how does a Bubblebeam from a level 5 Pochama own three Pokémon which are clearly on higher levels?
Holy crap, Pochama can fly!?
I really prefer their old motto, but I'm happy that cute, little Nyaasu got more lines.

Of course she never heard of Roketto-Dan. .
. . .
. . .
. . .
The battle's over already?
Roketto-Dan just got owned by an injured Pikachu and a starter Pokémon.

. . .
Pikachu can suffer from extreme exhaustion?
Who suffers from that?
Why is there a star when Joi-san winks?

. . .
Haha, Pochama and Hikari are arguing. Just like Pikachu and Satoshi used to.
Good times, good times. .
Oh, the show's still going on.

Dang, Pochama owned Hikari and vice versa.
I'm bored with Hikari. .
Yes, Roketto-Dan are bad people.
Yes, find Pikachu's trainer.

Yay, more Satoshi and Eipamu!
Aww, Eipamu is too cute.
. . .
Ah, so finally Satoshi meets Nanakamado.
Woah! Eipamu's head is humongous!
Yes, let's all go search for Hikari.
Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow bri- Oh, it's Roketto-Dan.

Guys, you're never getting that promotion anyway, so why bother?
Sakaki hates your friggin' guts.
Aww, poor Manene. . It's so cute.
Yay, Kojiro's new summer home.
. . .
Bored!

Oh, hey, look a Ma- Err. . Carnivine?
I was gunna say Masukippa.
Haha, Kojiro's a nerd with all of his bottle caps.
. . .
Look at all of that food!
Holy hell!
I'd kill to have a house like that.
Okay, not literally.
I mean, after all, it is only an expression.

An odd expression at that, but aren't all- Oh, the show's still going on.
What in the hell kinda name is Cheeves?
. . .
Uh-oh, not Rumika. .
That's a hell in and of itself.

Ha, look at that awesome fighting game.
I'd totally buy it.
Give 'em right, and then a left!
Then fake right, and then fake left!
Then fake faking right and hit them with the left!
Oh, the show's still going on.

Do they not understand that Sakaki hates them?
Oh my God, Musashi's voice makes me wanna. .
Commit suicide?
No, that's too much.
Holy crap!
Her eye lash just turned the same color as her skin!

Haha!
"Do your best!"
"Don't we always?"
"That's what I'm afraid of!"
Sakaki made a funny.

Oh, finally, we're back to the main, more exciting characters.
. . .
Blah, blah, blah, extra crispy bike.
Oh my God, were they looking up Hikari's skirt!?

. . .
Yay! We're back to Satoshi.
Yes! Takeshi!
Love, love, love.
Wow, that chick's voice is annoying as. . Ugh!

Good, she's leaving.
Aww, poor Takeshi thought he found a girl.
. . .
And now he's going emo.
Haha, look at Eipamu's face!
She's all 'shut the hell up, emo kid'.

Besides, Satoshi is never going to find a good woman, or a woman at all!
He's too freaking dense.

Ah, and this is the season where Takeshi gets all shojo manga on us.
Haha, Eipamu and Mukkuru are fighting.
Kick his ass, Eipamu!
. . .
I can't believe PUSA caught a mistake and fixed it.
And people say they're bad dubbers.
I actually really like them!
Go, PUSA, you're doing a fine job.

. . .
Man, if someone beat me up and shoved me in a little ball, no way I'd listen to them.
Forget that noise.
. . .
Yay, Shinji!
What the hell is "if it was that easy, who needs that thing?" supposed to mean?
Bulbapedia told me he broke the fourth wall, but I'm still not getting it.
Ah, well, he's hot so it doesn't matter.
And it's over!
. . . Now I'm bored.

--

Hope you liked my continous thought patterns. XD

 

[Kiratwig]

wow you got this one up already (yes im a fast reader)

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

What exactly is the goal here? This isn't a story--it's you putting in unfunny comments.

Also, "Mukkuhoku"? Is there something wrong with "Mukkuhawk"?

 

[ShinjiLover]

The goal here is to pretty much, not be funny per say, but to say the truth. If you didn't notice, 'comedy' wasn't a genre I put this story under. If you think it isn't funny, that's fine. But, mind you, I'm not trying to be funny.

And I prefer Mukkuhoku over Mukuhawk, just like I prefer Rizadon over Lizardon. There are things such as preferences.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

I think a running commentary for just opinions wouldn't count as a story. What about posting this in the anime forum? It's not a fic at all, nor is it a MST.

 

[ShinjiLover]

Would it really BELONG in the anime forums? I don't see any reason for it not to belong here. I could make it more 'fic-like' somehow or another.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Try giving that a shot then, because as it stands it's really not a fic at all.

 

[ShinjiLover]

Still, it's a written fanwork, so it's not like it doesn't count as a fic.

 

[Mooites]

I like it, but its kinda confusing if you dont remember the exact episode. Maybe you could try "summarazing" it as you go along..

 

[ShinjiLover]

Good idea, Mooites, I'll remember to do that, thanks! =]
Don't wanna confuse anyone.

Oh, and since Blackjack is -- You know what, I'm gunna stop right there before I get into trouble.

I was thinking about switching the view to either Satoshi (Ash), Hikari (Dawn), Takeshi (Brock), or even Pikachu so I can be able to make it more 'fic-like'. Any comments, suggestions, or whatever?

 

[Jayc]

So you're still going to continue this, but on the anime forums instead? But you want to make it more fic-like? I'm confused.

 

[ShinjiLover]

No, I'm not continuing this in the anime forums.

 

[Mooites]

Pikachu's POV would be interesting. You could make him/her really cynical and sarcastic. It would be funny.