Weird Bible Stuff

[Darth Adficio]

I was wondering about weird bible quotes so i desided to make a thread asking people about what was the weirdest bible quote you ever heard or read.

 

[RavenKingSage]

Deuteronomy 25: 11-12

When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one approaches to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, you shall sever her hand; you shall have no compassion.

LMAO. Am I the only one who finds it funny that a religious text can even say the word "genitals?" XD

 

[Darth Adficio]

probaly i just made this for fun

 

[$aturn¥oshi]

*moves to OtB*

 

[Princess Viola]

Deuteronomy 25: 11-12

When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one approaches to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, you shall sever her hand; you shall have no compassion.

LMAO. Am I the only one who finds it funny that a religious text can even say the word "genitals?" XD

It's even funnier when you realize it's basically saying "DO NOT GRAB OUR JUNK GIRLS"

 

[KronosClownz]

I can't see the funny part...

 

[Tiki Man]

I know of a few...

Proverbs 27:15-16
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

2 Kings 9:20
The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a madman."

Job 13:5
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

Deuteronomy 14:21
Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.

Proverbs 21:19 (New Living Translation)
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.

They're like rofl funny or anything but they contain some humor.