What do you do to make friends?

[CherubCookie]

Hello! What do you do to make friends? Are you a confident person at ease with plonking your butt down next to a stranger and initiating conversation? Do you have to take a few deep breaths before talking to someone around you? What are your tactics to increase your friendship pool! and inb4 someone says they're too cool for friends lol you're the worst already

Friendship making can be hard so let's all talk about how we made some of our friends! Cool and interesting stories about how you made some of your closest friends are also very welcome here. Stories are awesome. Friendship is magic, or so I hear.

(and hands up if you thought this thread was going to be asking for advice from reading the title)

 

[BorgyDudeMan]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ To make friends, I just do nothing and hope that some random person will make friends with me. But other times I randomly talk to other people... yeah

 

[Zexy]

I'm quite the introverted person, so I don't get out of my way to make friends. Although I'd say I have a method to approach people if I get to meet them.

Thing is, in practice I just happen to befriend people when I meet them for some specific reason (such as school, university, Pokemon GO sessions etc.) So after getting introduced to them, I just try to move our conversation in our common interests (school and other local matters/engineering/Pokemon GO and the franchise in general etc) as well as throw in any info associated with the interests they say they have (to show that we have common things).

 

[Ted Wiggins]

Haha, that picture. LOL!

I prefer only to have a few close friends rather than a lot of little friends, but I think that it is always good to be nice to strangers too because u never now when you will make a new friend. c:

Ted.

 

[noworry]

When I was a kid I used to stare at people until they became so uncomfortable that they had to talk to me, which is how I met my best friend.

Now I prefer to be around closer friends, but when I'm trying to get to know people I usually try a more .. friendly approach.
(I don't stare at strangers anymore, don't worry.)

 

[dragon_nataku]

I don't really try to make new friends. Having been backstabbed by a lot of friends have left me with little to no desire to make new ones. I like the friends I have now. Not to say that I'd chase away people trying to be friends with me, but apparently I also weird people out so it takes people awhile to get used to me and like me. For instance, one of the grad students on the floor I work on is friends with my boss but she acted really uncomfortable around me until recently (we met around six months ago), so it takes people awhile to realise I'm not horrible or whatever Now she keeps saying she wants to steal me from my boss so I can work for her instead

 

[Gengarzilla]

Ooh, I don't know. I'm really no good on a social level even if I've been getting better at it during these last few years. Some of my newer friends live outside the county anyway.

 

[CherubCookie]

So after getting introduced to them, I just try to move our conversation in our common interests (school and other local matters/engineering/Pokemon GO and the franchise in general etc) as well as throw in any info associated with the interests they say they have (to show that we have common things).

Yeah, this is a pretty good approach to have I find a lot of people like initiative, even if they are hesitant to offer it themselves. The way the society is going it seems that this is becoming more common as well. I often ask about music or gaming interests.

Now she keeps saying she wants to steal me from my boss so I can work for her instead

If I had a dollar for everytime someone said that to me I’d be rich. You don’t seem horrible in the least!

Ooh, I don't know. I'm really no good on a social level even if I've been getting better at it during these last few years. Some of my newer friends live outside the county anyway.

If you're making friends that live outside the country that’s just as good as real life friends because you can use them as places to go if you ever travel! Online friends are cool

As for me, I'm a pretty mixed bag depending on my mood lol. I can be hyper talkative or completely shy. I consider myself a bit of a shy extrovert in that I sometimes prefer it if other people contact me first because I don't want people to think I'm a crazy talkative maniac, especially if they're someone that I think is preeee cool

Some of my best friends are those that I just struck random conversation with for many years since. One of them I met at a party and we could not remember each other's names at all for the entirety of the many encounters she and I found ourselves in. She called me Jasper and I called her "that girl from the last time!" and sometimes we still call eachother by those names

 

[Almonds]

I don't really try to make new friends. Having been backstabbed by a lot of friends have left me with little to no desire to make new ones. I like the friends I have now. Not to say that I'd chase away people trying to be friends with me, but apparently I also weird people out so it takes people awhile to get used to me and like me.

I've had similar experiences. I weird people out, but the ones who stay and get used to me say they find me a likable person.

 

[Deleted member 72389]

I am a very shy and introverted person, so making friends is always a tough task for me. I don't feel as much shy online though and have made some great friends online, particularly on these forums.

But when I try to make friends in the outside world I end up being really awkward and talking in a very soft/small voice and generally avoiding eye-contact.

The one time I had made a friend in college it had happened because she was just as shy and awkward as me. And the two of us used to end up together in social situations which helped to increase our acquaintance and we gradually became friends.

I wasn't this shy when I was a kid though. I remember having friends and playing with them when I was really small.

And although I have never had the courage to try out this approach, I think talking to people about common interests and being friendly and polite helps in making friends. It has worked for a lot of people that I know.

 

[CherubCookie]

I think that your experiences with other people change how you act when it comes to making friends. Probably an evolutionary thing from being in the wild and needing to fit in?

It's really cool to see how different we all are in our approaches

 

[ocelotlrama jaguar]

There is no strategy to how I make friends. It just happens.

I am not usually the one to initiate the conversation, but sometimes I'll see someone who likes the same thing I do and I'll try to make idle chat. Sometimes me and the other person will bond and we talk more and more over time until a friendship is formed, sometimes it just ends with me becoming little more than an acquaintance. I don't get to choose which people are going to be my friends, even if I do share the same interests.

Two of my closest friends I met online on the LiveJournal community, pkmncollectors. I didn't set out to meet them. We met over sheer luck. Another person who I call a close friend is someone I met in high school through an acquaintance. We both loved talking about Sailor Moon and it went beyond that.

 

[Crystal Onix]

Usually by seeing each other over and over again on forums. I also will talk to people after a while if we have some reason to interact, like a class we need to work together in.

Otherwise, I don't really make friends, like on public transit, I see and hear people start conversations like everyone knows each other already, but I just sit down in the window seat and don't really make eye contact, and try to make myself small so someone will have room to sit next to me, but you know, in my mind, I already know no one would want to sit next to me, and entirely predictably, they don't sit next to me, they'd rather stand in crowded aisles.

 

[Arylett Charnoa]

I do absolutely nothing. I have never approached anyone else for friendship or to initiate something.

As I don't have any presence in real life, I don't make friends there. But what has happened online in the past has been I make forum posts, minding my own business and pretty much forgetting that everyone else around me exists. After some time, I garner a reputation in the forum. For some reason, people think I'm interesting if I post a lot in places, so they send me messages to try to have conversations. Most of those fell by the wayside, but a few stayed. Mostly the ones who were able to converse with me in a messenger everyday about constantly new and interesting things, because I was serious about that. And those are really the ones who remain... although due to drama, they were also lost over the years, save for one friend who I moved in and married me. Why yes, I do count that as a friend. That's the greatest friend I've ever had in my entire life, right there.

Nowadays, I am a hermit even online and barely post anywhere except in Forum Games here. So I don't make friends anymore and my interest in doing so has lowered significantly due to extremely bitter life experiences. But that's okay. I am satisfied with who I've got.

 

[Pikochu]

From personal experience, I guess it would have to be just depending on each other for something and then get to know each other, at least in my physical life.

I usually made my friends because they needed something from me or I need something from them. For example, in college, I would come up to students who I thought were approachable and ask them for help. Other times, they would come to me for help. But usually, this ends up that we would hangout after a study session for a beer or for a meal. This is where we get to share our personal lives and get to talk about things that's not related to the subject at hand.

It would then snowball into more regular hangouts and meals together, and look, we are doing together and becoming good friends. That's how it was for me. We had something in common and went from there.

Making friends online, I find a little more challenging, mainly because the internet is huge and even if you find a community that shares common ground, it still a huge community and it does get kinda hard to get personal with people online, at least for me. Thankfully, I do have an online community that I am comfortable in getting personal with.

 

[Cookies and Creme]

Kinda like the "sliding into DM's" metaphor, I just slide right in with a common interest or just interaction.

Spoiler: Just a fun little gif if it works. Also stolen from SMG4

 

[Fluttershy of Light]

The best way I usually make friends is just to play games with others.. If a conversation between games I've played comes up then I'm more willing to talk despite me being socially awkward.. I'm not assertive enough to interrupt a conversation or participate in a conversation that doesn't really interest me..

Also let it be said that Friendship is magic

 

[dig]

Don't really look for new friends tbh.

 

[Proxima Centauri B]

I dont really look for friends. Sometimes people will talk to me and I will have conversations with them but I dont really have methods of trying to get friends or really know how to get them. I dont really have many tbh.

 

[Dolce]

I don't. People aren't my thing.

When I was a youngin' way back when I was extremely shy. I kept to myself and only really ever spoke to my teachers or hid behind people I knew. Most friends I made were because they were stuck on a project with me.

In highschool I met this girl who dragged me everywhere. She nudged me a lot to do things against my will. And tbh I needed nudges, my anxiety can get to the point where it's crippling to even talk for myself. So it helped me a lot to learn things weren't scary.

My first job made it easier to talk to strangers since I was a cashier and I liked making the regulars comfortable by memorizing their orders.

Now a days, I really just don't care honestly. I mean I'm not lonely by any means. The kiddies at work seem to find me amusing to some degree. And I can confidently strike up a conversation when I need to.

So while people aren't my thing, I will return any kindness I'm shown.