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What Exactly Does This Pokemon Do?

Bigfoot_the_Pokémon

When the Bigfoot just isn't real
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James: Hello boss, we've brought you a strange Pokémon
Giovanni: Wonderful! What does it do?
MissingNo. glitches and disappears
James: It does that. But it takes a while to get it back
Giovanni: I see. Go find it again or get to the Pain Project
James: Well it took us a few weeks to find it again this last time, so I think I know where we're going

Torkoal
 

BigDocFan

King of the Jungle
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James: You can use it to help cook your food
Meowth: There was a Pokemon run Cafe in Alola that did it, it will help your electricity bill
Giovanni: Do you know what would help my electricity bill most?
James: Not using us as Morpeko on the eternal pain project
Giovanni: Close, you three being competent enough to present me with more desirable Pokemon and not stupid ideas how to use them.
James: So no pain project for us?
Giovanni: Wrong!!!

Pignite
 

Totem_Rowlet

#1 Rowlet Fan
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James: Hello Great Boss, we brought you a new pokemon!
Giovanni: What does it do now!?!?
Jesse: It causes droughts and makes fire types stronger!
Giovanni: WE USE POISON TYPES MOSTLY NOT FIRE TYPES.
Giovanni: To Pain with you!

Noibat
 

BigDocFan

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James: It uses echolocation to help explore dark and mysterious caves
Giovanni: Do I look like the sort of person who explores caves
James: No boss
Giovanni: No doubt by now you know the way to the pain project without Noibat's help

Pignite
 

KerfishSea

HONK!
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Giovanni: why did you bring me this thing again?
James: Its just really cool.
Jessie: AND its fairly strong. Apparently its the best starter in a unova playthrough
Giovanni: what are you talking about? this isn't some game.
Meowth: facepalms


Dewott
 

BigDocFan

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Giovanni: why did you bring me this thing again?
Just to note I assumed the previous one was in relation to Torkoal as I posted shortly before the other one was posted

James: When it evolves boss, it becomes a Water and Dark type, very powerful i must say
Dewott evolves into Unovan Samurott
Meowth: I told you that only works in the Hisui region
Giovanni: As much as Samurott looks strong and useful, you gave me false information so here is a truth for you, pain project now!

Dracovish
 

Totem_Rowlet

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James: I think you will finally like this boss!
Giovanni: Well, what does it do?
Jesse: It is a powerful threat in Ubers, using it's strong jaws to bite down everything.
Dracovish [Bites Giovanni's Persian]
Giovanni: What! It is strong, but it attacked my cat! To Pain with you!

Sunkern
 

BigDocFan

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Giovanni: Tell me you are not thinking of offering me the weakest Pokemon known to exist!?
James: No boss, it isn't the weakest, that title belongs to Wishiwashi
Meowth: But it is a weak Pokemon.
Giovanni: I thought so, pain project with you all

Cresselia
 

Totem_Rowlet

#1 Rowlet Fan
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James: We brought you a powerful legendary pokemon this time, boss.
Giovanni: What!
Jesse: Yes, we did! Are you happy!
Giovanni: No! You are going to Pain because that breaks the plot set in Master Journeys, where we failed to catch Cresselia!
Meowth: Bruh

Arceus
 

BigDocFan

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Giovanni: Seriously, you bought me the so called God of all Pokemon!?
James: I wouldn't anger it boss, it can rein judgement on...
Arceus unleashes Judgement on everyone before escaping
Giovanni: Pain Project now, that is my judgement

Centiskorch
 

Bigfoot_the_Pokémon

When the Bigfoot just isn't real
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James: Here's a Centiskorch. It's a big ol' fire thingy
Giovanni: I am sending you to Pain because... this is the best you could bring me? After Arceus??
Meowth: Well it's not our fault we lost the Arceus
Giovanni: It is, though

Furret
 

Totem_Rowlet

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James: I think you are going to like this! Shows Giovanni a picture of furret. Furret is in a big cage next to him.
Giovanni: Why is the cage so big? It looks like it should be small?
Jesse: Well, it is 5'11.
Giovanni: Oh yeah!!!!
Furret busts through the cage and the wall with it's gigantic size.
Giovanni: Leave through the hole right now!

Luvdisc
 

TRNatalie

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Giovanni: Why would you bring me this useless thing!!!
James: Well a couple of them beat Butch and Cassidy
Jessie: laughing And the whole thing is on video! We can show it to you
Somewhere from inside the headquarters, Cassidy is yelling Jessie’s name angrily
Meowth: Most importantly, the shedded heart shaped scales of Luvdisc are very valuable!
Giovanni: Why don’t you leave me the Luvdisc and I’ll leave Butch and Cassidy in charge of your punishment. I have no desire for disorder in this organization!

Magby
 

BigDocFan

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Giovanni: Why in the Kanto region is it so hot in here? Did you bring me Groudon again?
James: No boss, we brought you this Magby. It can breathe flames of up to 600... Oh dear.
Giovanni: Next time I want to feel hot, I'll visit Alola, take this thing to the pain project, hopefully the heat will make it worse for you.

Bewear
 

TRNatalie

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Jessie and James push a wagon with a giant Bewear into Giovanni’s office
out of breath Alright Boss, this is the super strong Bewear we caught in Alola. We could talk for hours about what this Pokémon can do
Giovanni: Alright then; why does it have those lines and bolts on it
*Jessie and James look nervously at the mechanical Bewear. Somewhere inside, a voice goes “Kiiii?” *

Zangoose
 

BigDocFan

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Jessie: It is a strong Pokemon with a massive rivalry against Seviper, good thing my...

Seviper comes into the room and starts a fight with Zangoose, wrecking the office

Jessie: Who let you out Seviper?

Giovanni glares at them

Giovanni: Pain project, now!

Gliscor
 

Bigfoot_the_Pokémon

When the Bigfoot just isn't real
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James: How do you feel about this Gliscor?
Giovanni: I've had a fear of gargoyles my whole life
Jessie: Well, how were we supposed to know that?!?
Giovanni: Ask the guy in the Pain Project who also brought me a Gliscor

Jynx
 

BigDocFan

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James: It is a Pokemon that is widely banned around the world so is extremely rare boss
Giovanni: So it is, did you not get the memo that it is banned from headquarters
James: Oh dear
Giovanni: You don't need a memo as to what comes next
James: Pain project, got you

Scyther
 

Bigfoot_the_Pokémon

When the Bigfoot just isn't real
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James: We brought you this Pokémon to stand in for scissors
Giovanni: What kind of a reason is that
Jessie: Well, in case you lose the pair that's in the kitchen
Giovanni: Only place where we have scissors is in the Pain Project

Omastar
 
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