What Melee Weapon Would ^ Bring to a Fight?

[Maniacal Engineer]

Wow. Two new Punster games in one night. How lucky you are! (read: Is this guy insane?!)

Anyways, it's go time! The above user is on their way to the biggest fight of their life. The one rule: Melee weapons only! What weapon would the above user bring to this important battle?

Rules:
1. You can either invent a melee weapon or use one that already exists.
2. If using a melee weapon that already exists, it can come from anywhere: games, books, movies, TV series, etc.
3. Even if said weapon already exists and especially if it is one that you are inventing, providing a short description would be preferable. How does the weapon work? What does it look like? Etc.
4. The weapon must be a melee weapon. NO RANGED WEAPONS PERMITTED. It defeats the purpose of this game.
5. As always, until I achieve ultimate power, bmgf standards apply.

Okay. Round 1: Fight!

^'s Melee weapon of Choice: The Invisible Sword
Description: Invented by 4Kids as the melee counterpart to the Invisible Gun, the Invisible Sword is, as its name implies, invisible. It's also a sword. ^ takes advantage of the sword's invisibility to remain completely unseen when attacking, a perfect compliment to ^'s natural invisibility.

 

[Qing'e]

^'s weapon of choice: The Punhammer.
Description: A weapon of terror, this hammer has one special feature. Its blows are accompanied by a barrage of puns from a speaker embedded in the shaft which are guaranteed to make the target groan in agony. Notably, all the puns in the hammer's vast arsenal were recorded by ^ himself in a day.

 

[BlisseyandtheAquaJets]

^weapon of choice:Foxy's Sword
Description:A weapon from a killer animatronic that appears blunt, but can be used to push someone into a animatronic skin full of gears to tear a person up!

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

^'s weapon of choice: The Pink Blobby Shield
Description: A massive pink blob-like shield that absorbs all special attacks. It cannot be broken by any special attack, and the holder cannot be damaged by a special attack whilst carrying this shield. Takes all of the energy absorbed from special attacks, and reflects it back at the person who launched the attack, in the form of an energy burst when the person is hit by the shield.

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

^ Mega-tosis Mallet

Anything it hits shall be cloned 128 times, whether be it a living person or a mere item

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

^ Mega-tosis Mallet

Anything it hits shall be cloned 128 times, whether be it a living person or a mere item

Yay!!! *uses Mega-tosis Mallet on myself, repeatedly*

Now I am punstoppable!!!!!!

Anyways: a Baseball bat
Description: just a normal wooden baseball bat...or is it?

 

[Wispy Willow]

Well, I really like using melée weapons/characters when it comes to games, so I figured I'd post here.

Anyway... Infinity +1 Sword

Description: This may look like an ordinary sword, but it allows the wielder to survive an attack that does infinity damage.

 

[italicizewafer]

Tail
Each hit does 9 times the damage as the previous. Hits nine times. First one to calculate the total damage wins nothing!

 

[ReturnofMCH]

a meat shield.
description: someone who fights for ^ while ^ relaxes on the beach... or somewhere.

 

[italicizewafer]

GigaBanana
A giant banana that does lots of damage

Edit: wouldn't that be a ranged weapon?

 

[Wispy Willow]

His own claws. Need I say anything more?

 

[italicizewafer]

Nine 'O Clock Tailow:
A weapon that hurts, a lot, and involves pointy things and swingy things.

 

[ReturnofMCH]

pac-man
description: wakka wakka wakka (eats everything except ^)

 

[italicizewafer]

Big Round Thing: Eat it to have absolutely no change on yourself whatsoever, however, all your enemies shalt turn blue!

 

[Steel_Justice]

Toilet Plunger: The water on the other end is anything but clean. Not something to get your face stuck into.

 

[italicizewafer]

Brony Device:
Scares dragons away with the opposite of dragons.

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Dragon Egg Shard Sword

A sword made out of the eggshells of dragon eggs wasted just for a nutritious breakfast

 

[italicizewafer]

Sadness Weapon
Remind someone of sadness...

 

[Enzap]

A live dragon he would swing around like a club

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Thunder Knuckles

Basically brass knuckles combined with a taser. Adds some voltage to the wearer's punches. Probably not a good idea or a very effective weapon since it would most likely fry the wearer too, but why not? This isn't real life, this is Pokemon...or something. Let's hear it for Anime Physics, which is its own class in college.