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COMPLETE: When A Pokemon's Trainer Dies [one-shot] (Teen)

ninemales

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(Hey all -- you can find this story in its original format on Lore. I think it'll be harder to read here, but I'll do my best to format it. Hope that's okay!)

Man:
I'm sorry to tell you this, but Alan has passed away.

Jolteon:
I know. I was there.

Jolteon:
Can you tell me... Was he in pain?

Man:
...

Man:
To be honest, I don't know.

Jolteon:
Right. That's fine.

Jolteon:
When is the memorial service?

Man:
Oh. Uh... The family already held it.

Man:
I'm not sure anyone thought to invite his Pokemon.

Jolteon:
Okay.

Jolteon:
What happens now?

Man:
Well, you don't have a trainer anymore.

Man:
You're free to go.

Jolteon:
Free. Great.

---

Jolteon:
Hey Ryan.

Raichu:
Oh, hey Sparky. Good to see you.

Jolteon:
You too. How you holding up?

Raichu:
Fine. The shock's worn off, and...

Raichu:
I figure, at least he's at peace.

Jolteon:
Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it.

Jolteon:
So... Where are you headed now?

Raichu:
Well, I actually had a good idea, I think.

Raichu:
You know how Alan always said he'd take me to Alola someday?

Raichu:
So I could try out that Psychic form?

Raichu:
Well, I'm gonna go.

Jolteon:
Nice. Alan would've liked that.

Raichu:
How about you? Want to come?

Jolteon:
Nah, I think I should head home.

Jolteon:
Been years since I saw my parents.

Raichu:
Cool. Well. Hope I see you again someday, then.

Jolteon:
Yeah. It was great knowing you, Ry.

---

Jolteon:
Hello? It's me! Is anyone home?

Eevee:
...

Eevee:
Son?

Jolteon:
Dad! It's great to see you. Where's mom?

Eevee:
You've been gone for three years, son.

Eevee:
Your mother passed a while ago.

Jolteon:
Oh.

Eevee:
What happened? That human give up on training Pokemon?

Jolteon:
He also passed, actually.

Eevee:
Good. Was he the one who did this to you?

Jolteon:
The evolution? yeah.

Jolteon:
I know we've always been a Vaporeon family, but since you never evolved-

Eevee:
I never evolved because it wouldn't be right.

Eevee:
Not unless you can find me a Water Stone around here.

Eevee:
Otherwise, no way. I respect my mother and father too much.

Jolteon:
Right. You haven't changed a bit.

Eevee:
Damn certain. Are you staying here?

Jolteon:
Yeah, I was hoping to.

Eevee:
Dinner's at sundown. Hope you haven't forgotten that too, son.

Jolteon:
Of course not.

Jolteon:
By the way, Dad, my nickname's been Sparky for a w-

Eevee:
No. See you at dinner.

---

Jolteon:
Oh, excuse me. Didn't mean to interrupt your hunting.

Flareon:
No problem, I-

Flareon:
Wait a minute! I remember you! You used to live next door!

Jolteon:
Oh! Yeah, hi. I'm... I'm back.

Flareon:
What happened to that trainer? Did he retire or something?

Jolteon:
He passed away, actually.

Flareon:
No... I'm really sorry to hear that.

Flareon:
And I guess you just found out about your mom, too?

Jolteon:
Yup.

Flareon:
That's awful.

Flareon:
Well, if you ever want to talk to anyone, I'm here.

Jolteon:
Yeah. Thanks.

Flareon:
It's really good to see you, you know.

Flareon:
Do you remember how much fun we used to have?

Flareon:
Running up that hill? Just little Eevees...

Jolteon:
Uh-huh. Listen, I've really gotta go.

Jolteon:
It was nice catching up.

Flareon:
Sure, no problem. No problem.

Flareon:
Take care.

Jolteon:
You too.

---

Jolteon:
****, did I go the wrong way?

Jolteon:
Where's that path...

Jolteon:
Man, I wish I had Alan's map, at least.

Jolteon:
Don't even remember how to get around without it.

Jolteon:
...

Jolteon:
What was that noise??

Jolteon:
Hey! Come out! Whoever you are!

Jolteon:
I'm serious! Show yourself, or I'll Thunderbolt the **** out of you!

Jolteon (aside):
Oh God, do I even remember how to fight a wild Pokemon on my own?

Jolteon:
Okay, that's it! I-

Eevee:
Calm down, son.

Jolteon:
Oh, Dad, I didn't realize it was you-

Eevee:
Clearly. You're making a fool out of yourself.

Eevee:
You don't need to fight every stranger you see.

Jolteon:
Sorry, it's just-

Eevee:
Come on. It's time for dinner.

---

Eevee:
I saw you talking to that neighbor girl.

Eevee:
She's nice for a Flareon, right?

Jolteon:
Yeah, I guess so.

Eevee:
She always had a crush on you, even before she found that Fire Stone.

Jolteon:
Sure.

Eevee:
Maybe you should go out with her sometime.

Jolteon:
I don't know, Dad. I'm still dealing with Mom and Alan and everything.

Eevee:
Son. Do not talk about your mother and that human like they're the same.

Jolteon:
Come on, Dad, don't be like that.

Jolteon:
This is hard for me. Alan took care of me for a long time.

Eevee:
I don't care. He's a human, and he kidnapped you.

Jolteon:
Jesus, Dad, he didn't kidnap me.

Jolteon:
I was on his team. He loved me.

Eevee:
Right. That's why he stuffed you in a ball and made you fight for him.

Jolteon:
Dad! You just don't understand what it was like.

Jolteon:
None of you do.

Eevee:
I understand that you weren't here for your mother.

Jolteon:
Oh, please! Like you ever cared about her.

Jolteon:
You just want an excuse to be angry at me.

Jolteon:
Because I was happy. And you never were.

Eevee:
I've had enough of this... brainwashing.

Eevee:
I'm going to bed. See you in the morning.

---

Jolteon:
I guess I can curl up here... Sort of feels like the Pokeball.

Jolteon:
Ahem.

Jolteon:
Alan, can I have a Berry before bed?

Jolteon:
...

Jolteon:
Thanks, Alan. Pecha. My favorite.

Jolteon:
Can I have my Pokedoll, too? The Umbreon one?

Jolteon:
...

Jolteon:
Thanks, Alan.

Jolteon:
Well, good night.

Jolteon:
...

Jolteon:
Yup, I love you too.

Jolteon:
...

Jolteon:
I'm really going to miss you.
 
the bare bones dialogue makes the jolteon seem a bit cold or uncaring in the beginning, but it definitely works to the tone's advantage later on. it brings that feeling of quietness, emptiness, presence of death.

minor complaint: you don't need to censor swearwords (i don't know the rules of that lore site, but swearing is allowed on here), and you shouldn't either. it distances the reader.

otherwise, interesting read. keep it up.
 
I found the narrative here a bit too sparse for its own good. The script format isn't bad in and of itself, and I have seen it done well. When it comes to grief sometimes less is more, especially when you're focusing - entirely sensibly - on the banality of life after someone's died. But this is so sparse, so much of the emotion's lost.

I think it may have been a more immersive read if there weren't literally a new line for every sentence. About half of the words I had to skip over because they literally didn't give any new information.
 
Please note: The thread is from 6 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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