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COMPLETE: When Evil Meets Evil (Book 1) (COMPLETED)
- Thread starter alster08
- Start date
Marcat
Just Marcat
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2010
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Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 4 Posted)
I never did. I was just.... acknowledging my mistake.
- Thread starter
- #25
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 4 Posted)
Thanks to all that have commented. I am ready to post Part 5 of the 8 part saga. This is a very epic chapter with Archie and Maxie battling. The odds are high on both teams sides. This is a very Very long Chapter. Here it is Part 5.
Part 5 Water vs. Fire
Team Aqua gathered their needed materials and were ready to move on towards their next opponent of terror. Archie continued to steer the submarine through the large bodies of water.
"Today is another big day and we shall control another piece of land in Kanto," laughed Archie. The Team Aqua professor walked up to Archie to get him caught up on the latest news.
"Archie, we aren't the only team in Kanto. On the Kanto news cast it reported that Team Rocket, Team Magma, and Team Galactic are also involved."
"This is impossible. I am the only one who should be in Kanto,"shrieked Archie punching the wheel with his fist. "You better let the others know that we are the ones who will control Kanto. Let them no if we fail to accomplish our mission they all better no how to swim thirty miles in the ocean."
The professor delivered the message to the grunts to make sure they understand the frightening threat. They all took in the threat that was sent to them by their leader Archie. They all made sure that they were prepared for unexpected emergencies.
Archie was all alone in the steering room of the submarine. He began to talk to the air and to himself.
"I tried to help the world, None of them understood the task of my team. I tried to help but they just ran us down. They did not give us a chance. Now I am done helping the world. I will go against the world. The world had made me mad. I will make them mad."
The words echoed in the closed room. The words popped from wall to wall. Archie raised the submarine up to land. They were finally near the South Coastal Lines of Kanto.
Archie studied the Kanto map to make sure that this was the right way to Fuchsia City. Their next City of terror was not to big but they surly were not weak. Many tough trainers gather around that area. It is one of the most peaceful place in Kanto because of its beaches and flat lands. As Archie stopped the submarine a nearby plane landed right in front of them.
"Team Magma!"
**********
"Could that be Team Aqua. That looks like their submarine," questioned Maxie landing their plane. "So those little copycats think they can control Kanto. This makes me laugh. Archie is a silly man. Let's take care of them. It will only take a heartbeat."
The Team Magma Grunts exited their plane moving towards Team Aqua's giant submarine. The Team Aqua Grunts did not let them get close to their submarine because it was their only way in traveling.
"Attention all Team Magma Grunts. Make sure you take out Team Aqua so we can get on with world domination," announced Maxie walking back into the plane. Maxie relaxed in his seat watching the action take place outside of his flying aircraft.
"What are you doing in my plane." asked Maxie turning around to find Archie standing behind him. "Are you afraid your Team will lose to mine."
"Maxie, what are you doing in Kanto. This was supposed to be my chance to control the Kanto. Not for you to control the Kanto," replied Archie.
"If you think your team is so better than mine, lets see who wins." said Maxie standing from his seat.
"I have a better idea. Me, you, Pokemon Battle. Who ever wins stays to control Kanto while the loser is sent back to Hoenn," suggested Archie taking another step closer to Maxie.
"I accept your offer. Its quiet obvious of who will win. Is it not... Archie," said Maxie standing up. "But lets do it outside. This plane cost me a fortune."
The action between the two opposing teams continued building up more violence as time passed slowly. Archie and Maxie walked outside to find a area where it was flat and away from the action.
"How about a two on two with no substitutions," suggested Maxie letting his opponent choose the match.
"That seems fine." replied Archie finding the perfect spot to stand for the battle.
Archie stood tall and firm in his area pulling a Pokeball from his pocket.
"Make me proud... Crobat." Crobat appeared out of Archie's Pokeball, flying up in the clear air.
Maxie took his position and prepared for the important battle of Kanto domination. Maxie threw out his Pokeball to reveal his top Pokemon... Camerupt.
"You wont be able to take down my Camerupt Archie, because my Pokemon is so big and heavy and yours is just a light weight bat," informed Maxie, laughing at the site of the small, flying bat.
"I wouldn't be laughing so much Archie because my Crobat as the sky, while yours can move slowly because of its weight." replied Archie, dinning Maxie's opinion.
The battle began with the heat rising on each side of the stressful battle that would depend on who will be able to control Kanto.
"Crobat we will start off this battle with a big chunk. Use bite and send pain through its body." demanded Archie. They had the poison advantage, which helps Archie by a long run.
Crobat flew through the air moving right then left right towards Camerupt's big body. The Crobat plied into its soft fur and Camerupt let out a shriek so loud that Crobat could not continue the attack.
Crobat backed away from the sound of the noise. Maxie stood up and made his move and was glad that Camerupt had a loud voice.
"When Crobat is coming close just step on it and he would be through. Till then use Ember." ordered Maxie not holding back any mercy. Camerupt took giant steps towards Crobat. Crobat flew through the air moving at a constant motion. Camerupt could not get a target at Crobat. It moved to fast for Camerupt to sense.
"Just use it Camerupt. Take a chance. If you miss just use it again." suggested Maxie, humiliated by Camerupt and his bad aim.
The flame popped out of the mini volcanoes on Camerupts back. The small flame swirled around and landed on Crobat who fell to the bare ground unexpectedly.
"That's the correct way Camerupt. Keep this up and we will win in no time." exclaimed Maxie putting his fist down.
Crobat rose back in the air panting. Camerupt did not have a chance to finish it off. Crobats wind was burned badly but it wasn't enough to keep the tough bat down.
"Crobat, we can not afford to lose now. We have to win or we will be back in the dreadful Hoenn,"explained Archie, avoiding failure. "Now be sure you get him good because this could decide our Victory against this dreadful Camerupt. Poison Fang now!"
The Crobat continued at the Camerupt with mighty speed. Camerupt was blinded by the speed and was sent to the floor by the toxic poison.
"Get up Camerupt. What in the world are you doing," Camerupt continued to quiver on the ground. The poison reached his head and it fainted quickly. "You have got to be kidding me. Camerupt you have not made me proud. You let this little bat get to your head."
"That's the way to do it Crobat. We are victorious at last," Archie jumped for joy letting out these powerful words.
"Don't get your hopes up Archie. Did you forget this is a two on two battle with no substitutions?" said Maxie, bumming Archie's joy.
Many of the Grunts stopped as they saw their tough leaders fight against each other. They gathered to the side to watch the excitement rise.
Maxie was down one Pokemon and that meant he had only one more to go. Archie's hopes were very high and as long as no problems were found, he was going to win.
Maxie withdrew Camerupt to rest in his Pokeball. Maxie searched for his last chance. He picked up the Pokeball and sent out his final Pokemon for the intense battle.
"Lets show them... Mightyena," The vicious wolf Pokemon appeared on the grassy floor. Mightyena was prepared for the showdown. "If you fail me now, I will make sure something bad happens," Maxie continued to threaten his Pokemon while Archie laughed and watched.
"Come on Maxie. We don't have all day you know," said Archie interrupting Maxie. Archie was very excited and began to get too cocky.
"Yes, I am now ready to meet victory," responded Maxie, forgetting about his inpatient opponent. Archie hated waiting. It was one of the things that bugged him the most.
Mightyena began to jump around, moving closer to Crobat. Crobat flew away every time Mightyena took steps towards him. Finally Mightyena leaped so far his paw caught in Crobats sensitive wing.
Crobat yelped as Mightyena brought it to the ground, tearing its vital body parts. The Team Magma Grunts went "wow" while the Team Aqua Grunts just moaned and sighed.
Crobat wiggled from Mightyena's possession. One wing was torn badly and Crobat glidden until he reached the ground to meet his doom. Mightyena chased after Crobat, but by the time Mightyena reached Crobat, he already fainted.
Archie sighed and returned Crobat to his Pokeball. "At least you did something," groaned Archie beginning the neck on neck match again, with one Pokemon left for both battlers.
He threw out his last Pokemon for the serious battle. The large Pokemon stood face to face and said "Ludicolo, Ludicolo." The playful Ludicolo laughed and hopped until Archie forced him to stop his unneeded silliness.
"Ludicolo, this is a serious match and I am leaving my trust on you. I have trained you well, now show me how much I taught you," said Archie with is hopes up, but head down.
Ludicolo was also determined because this was the first time Ludicolo was in a real battle that actually counted for something important. Ludicolo was confused that he was chosen instead of Team Aqua's Leader best trained Pokemon.
Mightyena dashed directly towards Ludicolos sensitive face. Archie covered his eyes avoiding embarrassment. With Archie still covering his eyes, the Team Aqua Grunts screamed and shouted.
Ludicolo stopped Mightyena from getting to his delicate face. Archie shouted in pride. He hadn't expected Ludicolo to stop the wolf type Pokemon's claws. Ludicolo stood in pride waving his hands to the earsplitting audience with is foot planted in Mightyena's furry back.
"What are you doing. Don't let that silly thing plant his foot on you," Maxie was very angry and most could tell because of his extremely red face that looked like boiling lava. Mighyena tried to wiggle free from Ludicolo's clutches but it was no us. It was caught tight between the ground and his large foot.
"OK, now its time to finish him off. We are not stopping now. Quick use Brick Break," demanded Archie. Ludicolo's fist shined bright as he prepared the big move. His glowing fist slammed into Mightyena's face and he squealed from the huge, powerful, and amazing hit that could destroy Team Magma as they knew it.
Mightyena finally got loose from Ludicolos feet with major damages to it's small face and furry back. Mightyena barly stood on his four hind legs with one of them beind badly sprained form the amount of running.
Maxie sighed in releif and continued to order Mightyena around. "Mightyena, go at him with all you got. Make sure your claws dig deep into its skin."
Ludicolo was now afraid as he knew what Mightyena was ordered to do. Ludicolo questioned if he could repeat his sucessful actions that brought Mightyena to the ground.
Mightyena scrambled on his feet tripping and slpping after each quick step. His spained ankle didn't do the wolf any good and Maxie was through.
Ludicolo hadn't moved a step since he was released and was already winning. As Mightyena continued to fall, when he took a step closer to Ludicolo fear dropped and now he was ecxited. This was a chance to show his demandent boss that he is Pokemon battling material.
Mightyena finally reached the proud Ludicola and tried to jump but only did a little hop that reached Ludicolo's s chest. Mightyena fell to the ground in front of Ludicolo. Ludicolo helped Mightyena up from the ground, making Archie very mad.
"What are you doing helping the other team," scolded Archie. Mightyena was brought back on his legs but then was sent flying back to the ground by Ludicolo's shining fist once again.
Mightyena was on the ground with his second leg sprained. The battle was over with Mightyena done for the match that led to big outcomes.
Archie ran to Ludicolo to thank him for defeating Mightyena. Maxie tried to escape but was stoped by the Team Aqua Grunts. Archie grabbed Maxie and made sure he was going back to Hoenn where he and his grunts belonged.
Maxie kept his word and sent the Team Magma Grunts into the Magma Plane. As the Plane acended Maxie shouted "I will be back and I will control Kanto."
Archie and the Team Aqua Grunts jumped in joy at the site of Team Magma leaving. Archie sent the grunts to work again.
"Now that they are out of the picture, Lets go control Fuchsia City," Archie and his grunts ran to Fuchsia City to find it already abandoned. Archie searched the grounds and found the Team Magma flag. Team Magma had already marked the land.
"I dont understand. Why did Team Magma return to Fuchsia City if they had already ran everyone out," said Archie pulling out the Team Magma flag and shreading it with his hands.
"At least this was easy because this is now Team Aqua's," remarked Archie. He placed the Team Aqua flag into the ground marking their new territory.
Thanks to all that have commented. I am ready to post Part 5 of the 8 part saga. This is a very epic chapter with Archie and Maxie battling. The odds are high on both teams sides. This is a very Very long Chapter. Here it is Part 5.
Part 5 Water vs. Fire
Team Aqua gathered their needed materials and were ready to move on towards their next opponent of terror. Archie continued to steer the submarine through the large bodies of water.
"Today is another big day and we shall control another piece of land in Kanto," laughed Archie. The Team Aqua professor walked up to Archie to get him caught up on the latest news.
"Archie, we aren't the only team in Kanto. On the Kanto news cast it reported that Team Rocket, Team Magma, and Team Galactic are also involved."
"This is impossible. I am the only one who should be in Kanto,"shrieked Archie punching the wheel with his fist. "You better let the others know that we are the ones who will control Kanto. Let them no if we fail to accomplish our mission they all better no how to swim thirty miles in the ocean."
The professor delivered the message to the grunts to make sure they understand the frightening threat. They all took in the threat that was sent to them by their leader Archie. They all made sure that they were prepared for unexpected emergencies.
Archie was all alone in the steering room of the submarine. He began to talk to the air and to himself.
"I tried to help the world, None of them understood the task of my team. I tried to help but they just ran us down. They did not give us a chance. Now I am done helping the world. I will go against the world. The world had made me mad. I will make them mad."
The words echoed in the closed room. The words popped from wall to wall. Archie raised the submarine up to land. They were finally near the South Coastal Lines of Kanto.
Archie studied the Kanto map to make sure that this was the right way to Fuchsia City. Their next City of terror was not to big but they surly were not weak. Many tough trainers gather around that area. It is one of the most peaceful place in Kanto because of its beaches and flat lands. As Archie stopped the submarine a nearby plane landed right in front of them.
"Team Magma!"
**********
"Could that be Team Aqua. That looks like their submarine," questioned Maxie landing their plane. "So those little copycats think they can control Kanto. This makes me laugh. Archie is a silly man. Let's take care of them. It will only take a heartbeat."
The Team Magma Grunts exited their plane moving towards Team Aqua's giant submarine. The Team Aqua Grunts did not let them get close to their submarine because it was their only way in traveling.
"Attention all Team Magma Grunts. Make sure you take out Team Aqua so we can get on with world domination," announced Maxie walking back into the plane. Maxie relaxed in his seat watching the action take place outside of his flying aircraft.
"What are you doing in my plane." asked Maxie turning around to find Archie standing behind him. "Are you afraid your Team will lose to mine."
"Maxie, what are you doing in Kanto. This was supposed to be my chance to control the Kanto. Not for you to control the Kanto," replied Archie.
"If you think your team is so better than mine, lets see who wins." said Maxie standing from his seat.
"I have a better idea. Me, you, Pokemon Battle. Who ever wins stays to control Kanto while the loser is sent back to Hoenn," suggested Archie taking another step closer to Maxie.
"I accept your offer. Its quiet obvious of who will win. Is it not... Archie," said Maxie standing up. "But lets do it outside. This plane cost me a fortune."
The action between the two opposing teams continued building up more violence as time passed slowly. Archie and Maxie walked outside to find a area where it was flat and away from the action.
"How about a two on two with no substitutions," suggested Maxie letting his opponent choose the match.
"That seems fine." replied Archie finding the perfect spot to stand for the battle.
Archie stood tall and firm in his area pulling a Pokeball from his pocket.
"Make me proud... Crobat." Crobat appeared out of Archie's Pokeball, flying up in the clear air.
Maxie took his position and prepared for the important battle of Kanto domination. Maxie threw out his Pokeball to reveal his top Pokemon... Camerupt.
"You wont be able to take down my Camerupt Archie, because my Pokemon is so big and heavy and yours is just a light weight bat," informed Maxie, laughing at the site of the small, flying bat.
"I wouldn't be laughing so much Archie because my Crobat as the sky, while yours can move slowly because of its weight." replied Archie, dinning Maxie's opinion.
The battle began with the heat rising on each side of the stressful battle that would depend on who will be able to control Kanto.
"Crobat we will start off this battle with a big chunk. Use bite and send pain through its body." demanded Archie. They had the poison advantage, which helps Archie by a long run.
Crobat flew through the air moving right then left right towards Camerupt's big body. The Crobat plied into its soft fur and Camerupt let out a shriek so loud that Crobat could not continue the attack.
Crobat backed away from the sound of the noise. Maxie stood up and made his move and was glad that Camerupt had a loud voice.
"When Crobat is coming close just step on it and he would be through. Till then use Ember." ordered Maxie not holding back any mercy. Camerupt took giant steps towards Crobat. Crobat flew through the air moving at a constant motion. Camerupt could not get a target at Crobat. It moved to fast for Camerupt to sense.
"Just use it Camerupt. Take a chance. If you miss just use it again." suggested Maxie, humiliated by Camerupt and his bad aim.
The flame popped out of the mini volcanoes on Camerupts back. The small flame swirled around and landed on Crobat who fell to the bare ground unexpectedly.
"That's the correct way Camerupt. Keep this up and we will win in no time." exclaimed Maxie putting his fist down.
Crobat rose back in the air panting. Camerupt did not have a chance to finish it off. Crobats wind was burned badly but it wasn't enough to keep the tough bat down.
"Crobat, we can not afford to lose now. We have to win or we will be back in the dreadful Hoenn,"explained Archie, avoiding failure. "Now be sure you get him good because this could decide our Victory against this dreadful Camerupt. Poison Fang now!"
The Crobat continued at the Camerupt with mighty speed. Camerupt was blinded by the speed and was sent to the floor by the toxic poison.
"Get up Camerupt. What in the world are you doing," Camerupt continued to quiver on the ground. The poison reached his head and it fainted quickly. "You have got to be kidding me. Camerupt you have not made me proud. You let this little bat get to your head."
"That's the way to do it Crobat. We are victorious at last," Archie jumped for joy letting out these powerful words.
"Don't get your hopes up Archie. Did you forget this is a two on two battle with no substitutions?" said Maxie, bumming Archie's joy.
Many of the Grunts stopped as they saw their tough leaders fight against each other. They gathered to the side to watch the excitement rise.
Maxie was down one Pokemon and that meant he had only one more to go. Archie's hopes were very high and as long as no problems were found, he was going to win.
Maxie withdrew Camerupt to rest in his Pokeball. Maxie searched for his last chance. He picked up the Pokeball and sent out his final Pokemon for the intense battle.
"Lets show them... Mightyena," The vicious wolf Pokemon appeared on the grassy floor. Mightyena was prepared for the showdown. "If you fail me now, I will make sure something bad happens," Maxie continued to threaten his Pokemon while Archie laughed and watched.
"Come on Maxie. We don't have all day you know," said Archie interrupting Maxie. Archie was very excited and began to get too cocky.
"Yes, I am now ready to meet victory," responded Maxie, forgetting about his inpatient opponent. Archie hated waiting. It was one of the things that bugged him the most.
Mightyena began to jump around, moving closer to Crobat. Crobat flew away every time Mightyena took steps towards him. Finally Mightyena leaped so far his paw caught in Crobats sensitive wing.
Crobat yelped as Mightyena brought it to the ground, tearing its vital body parts. The Team Magma Grunts went "wow" while the Team Aqua Grunts just moaned and sighed.
Crobat wiggled from Mightyena's possession. One wing was torn badly and Crobat glidden until he reached the ground to meet his doom. Mightyena chased after Crobat, but by the time Mightyena reached Crobat, he already fainted.
Archie sighed and returned Crobat to his Pokeball. "At least you did something," groaned Archie beginning the neck on neck match again, with one Pokemon left for both battlers.
He threw out his last Pokemon for the serious battle. The large Pokemon stood face to face and said "Ludicolo, Ludicolo." The playful Ludicolo laughed and hopped until Archie forced him to stop his unneeded silliness.
"Ludicolo, this is a serious match and I am leaving my trust on you. I have trained you well, now show me how much I taught you," said Archie with is hopes up, but head down.
Ludicolo was also determined because this was the first time Ludicolo was in a real battle that actually counted for something important. Ludicolo was confused that he was chosen instead of Team Aqua's Leader best trained Pokemon.
Mightyena dashed directly towards Ludicolos sensitive face. Archie covered his eyes avoiding embarrassment. With Archie still covering his eyes, the Team Aqua Grunts screamed and shouted.
Ludicolo stopped Mightyena from getting to his delicate face. Archie shouted in pride. He hadn't expected Ludicolo to stop the wolf type Pokemon's claws. Ludicolo stood in pride waving his hands to the earsplitting audience with is foot planted in Mightyena's furry back.
"What are you doing. Don't let that silly thing plant his foot on you," Maxie was very angry and most could tell because of his extremely red face that looked like boiling lava. Mighyena tried to wiggle free from Ludicolo's clutches but it was no us. It was caught tight between the ground and his large foot.
"OK, now its time to finish him off. We are not stopping now. Quick use Brick Break," demanded Archie. Ludicolo's fist shined bright as he prepared the big move. His glowing fist slammed into Mightyena's face and he squealed from the huge, powerful, and amazing hit that could destroy Team Magma as they knew it.
Mightyena finally got loose from Ludicolos feet with major damages to it's small face and furry back. Mightyena barly stood on his four hind legs with one of them beind badly sprained form the amount of running.
Maxie sighed in releif and continued to order Mightyena around. "Mightyena, go at him with all you got. Make sure your claws dig deep into its skin."
Ludicolo was now afraid as he knew what Mightyena was ordered to do. Ludicolo questioned if he could repeat his sucessful actions that brought Mightyena to the ground.
Mightyena scrambled on his feet tripping and slpping after each quick step. His spained ankle didn't do the wolf any good and Maxie was through.
Ludicolo hadn't moved a step since he was released and was already winning. As Mightyena continued to fall, when he took a step closer to Ludicolo fear dropped and now he was ecxited. This was a chance to show his demandent boss that he is Pokemon battling material.
Mightyena finally reached the proud Ludicola and tried to jump but only did a little hop that reached Ludicolo's s chest. Mightyena fell to the ground in front of Ludicolo. Ludicolo helped Mightyena up from the ground, making Archie very mad.
"What are you doing helping the other team," scolded Archie. Mightyena was brought back on his legs but then was sent flying back to the ground by Ludicolo's shining fist once again.
Mightyena was on the ground with his second leg sprained. The battle was over with Mightyena done for the match that led to big outcomes.
Archie ran to Ludicolo to thank him for defeating Mightyena. Maxie tried to escape but was stoped by the Team Aqua Grunts. Archie grabbed Maxie and made sure he was going back to Hoenn where he and his grunts belonged.
Maxie kept his word and sent the Team Magma Grunts into the Magma Plane. As the Plane acended Maxie shouted "I will be back and I will control Kanto."
Archie and the Team Aqua Grunts jumped in joy at the site of Team Magma leaving. Archie sent the grunts to work again.
"Now that they are out of the picture, Lets go control Fuchsia City," Archie and his grunts ran to Fuchsia City to find it already abandoned. Archie searched the grounds and found the Team Magma flag. Team Magma had already marked the land.
"I dont understand. Why did Team Magma return to Fuchsia City if they had already ran everyone out," said Archie pulling out the Team Magma flag and shreading it with his hands.
"At least this was easy because this is now Team Aqua's," remarked Archie. He placed the Team Aqua flag into the ground marking their new territory.
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- #26
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
First of all, why are Maxie and Archie in Kanto? (although you probably have a reason back in Episode 1)
Second of all, the dialogue just doesn't flow well, and seems scripted, in a way.
Third of all, it would help if you described the Pokemon a little more--pretend I'm not familiar with Pokemon--how would you describe them to me.
First of all, why are Maxie and Archie in Kanto? (although you probably have a reason back in Episode 1)
Second of all, the dialogue just doesn't flow well, and seems scripted, in a way.
Third of all, it would help if you described the Pokemon a little more--pretend I'm not familiar with Pokemon--how would you describe them to me.
Legacy
Reader and Writer
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Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
Nice work Alster! I agree, your story could stand for some more description and detail within the writing. Just try to concentrate on showing the reader what is going on with your words!
I love the idea of the story though! Please continue! I look forward to reading more.
Nice work Alster! I agree, your story could stand for some more description and detail within the writing. Just try to concentrate on showing the reader what is going on with your words!
I love the idea of the story though! Please continue! I look forward to reading more.
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
Before I begin, please forgive my grammar. My spell check commited suicide and is unable to work for the time being. :/
I am trying not to sound rude either, so quote me/PM me if I sound rude so I can edit my post
You are right, Blacktorn City is in Johto, not Kanto. It is pretty far as well, so I guess this was an error in the demographics (or geography) from our writer.
And yeah, the bold "alot" mistake was petty funny, but you do have a point, good thing Alster fixed it afterwards; there might be a few more, but I failed to see them, though.
Alster did mention something about their plans failing in Hoenn and have them make another attempt in Kanto previously. It´s true that he didn´t explain much about what happened in Hoenn or if either of the teams were touched by the hero/heroine actions that saved Hoenn back then, but regardeless, as long as he gives some explanation in the future, I believe that should be fine.
You have a point when it comes to the pokemon and "script-like" issues; if you can look up into it Alster, it could help to develop your story further (I am unable to give you pointers here, since my soties have this flaw as well).
He has progressed quite a bit since he began with the fic, although I have to agree with you, the story could use some details and can try using terms the Team Leaders would use.
For Example:
When you used the word "comprehend" you got his character correctly for a bit, however, Cyrus had, by no means consider himself as an evil team nor has he met any of them before (story wise). I don´t think he would use the expression "piece of cake" either, so I guess something like "(...) I thought we would be able to procede with ease; how couldn´t I forsaw this coming" or somehing like that.
Remember that Giovanni would rather conquer the world rather than destroy it, hence taking over Silph Co. and building a game corner in Celadon.
That said, you did quite a good job with Archie´s character! Having him talking ot himself about his current plan was pretty smooth since you didn´t revel wheter his grunts know about this or not - This could provide a good twist to the story. Maxie could had a bit more of character development, however.
Before I begin, please forgive my grammar. My spell check commited suicide and is unable to work for the time being. :/
I am trying not to sound rude either, so quote me/PM me if I sound rude so I can edit my post
You are right, Blacktorn City is in Johto, not Kanto. It is pretty far as well, so I guess this was an error in the demographics (or geography) from our writer.
And yeah, the bold "alot" mistake was petty funny, but you do have a point, good thing Alster fixed it afterwards; there might be a few more, but I failed to see them, though.
Alster did mention something about their plans failing in Hoenn and have them make another attempt in Kanto previously. It´s true that he didn´t explain much about what happened in Hoenn or if either of the teams were touched by the hero/heroine actions that saved Hoenn back then, but regardeless, as long as he gives some explanation in the future, I believe that should be fine.
You have a point when it comes to the pokemon and "script-like" issues; if you can look up into it Alster, it could help to develop your story further (I am unable to give you pointers here, since my soties have this flaw as well).
He has progressed quite a bit since he began with the fic, although I have to agree with you, the story could use some details and can try using terms the Team Leaders would use.
For Example:
When you used the word "comprehend" you got his character correctly for a bit, however, Cyrus had, by no means consider himself as an evil team nor has he met any of them before (story wise). I don´t think he would use the expression "piece of cake" either, so I guess something like "(...) I thought we would be able to procede with ease; how couldn´t I forsaw this coming" or somehing like that.
Remember that Giovanni would rather conquer the world rather than destroy it, hence taking over Silph Co. and building a game corner in Celadon.
That said, you did quite a good job with Archie´s character! Having him talking ot himself about his current plan was pretty smooth since you didn´t revel wheter his grunts know about this or not - This could provide a good twist to the story. Maxie could had a bit more of character development, however.
Marcat
Just Marcat
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2010
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- 459
- Reaction score
- 1
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
It was a good chapter and you've gotten better since the last chapters.
But you still have some spelling issues and typos.
Also, the dialogue is kind of stale, and -no offence- but why does Archie have a Ludicolo?
Although I love the battle and chapter. See I learn from my mistakes.
I look forward to more.
It was a good chapter and you've gotten better since the last chapters.
But you still have some spelling issues and typos.
Also, the dialogue is kind of stale, and -no offence- but why does Archie have a Ludicolo?
Although I love the battle and chapter. See I learn from my mistakes.
I look forward to more.
Lugion
I like to singa
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- Apr 23, 2010
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- 60
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
I totally wrote out this big, long response to this... and promptly lost my connection.
Short version:
1. Add more description. When the scene changes to a new area not explored before, begin with a paragraph describing the area. Show us, as they say. I want to know how green the trees are (but don't say "very green"), I want to know how deep the rivers are, I want to know everything. Use all five senses: what it looks like, what it sounds like, how it smells, and (if applicable) what it tastes and feels like.
2. Get into character. When writing as a particular character, you must speak (or write in this case) how they would speak, move how they would move, and emote how they would emote. This is especially important with previously-established or canon characters. For example, you can't have Cyrus burst into tears at the sight of one of his own helicopters exploding. Also, Maxie might "swagger" or "strut" instead of walk, because he's arrogant. Giovanni might "cackle" instead of laugh.
3. Dialogue. Make sure the words each character says would actually be used. Check your diction (the words used) often.
I totally wrote out this big, long response to this... and promptly lost my connection.
Short version:
1. Add more description. When the scene changes to a new area not explored before, begin with a paragraph describing the area. Show us, as they say. I want to know how green the trees are (but don't say "very green"), I want to know how deep the rivers are, I want to know everything. Use all five senses: what it looks like, what it sounds like, how it smells, and (if applicable) what it tastes and feels like.
2. Get into character. When writing as a particular character, you must speak (or write in this case) how they would speak, move how they would move, and emote how they would emote. This is especially important with previously-established or canon characters. For example, you can't have Cyrus burst into tears at the sight of one of his own helicopters exploding. Also, Maxie might "swagger" or "strut" instead of walk, because he's arrogant. Giovanni might "cackle" instead of laugh.
3. Dialogue. Make sure the words each character says would actually be used. Check your diction (the words used) often.
- Thread starter
- #35
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
Thanks. I have been doing this in Part Six. It should follow all three of your points. Thanks againg for helping me out.
I beleive When Evil Meets Evil Has gotten better since the begaining and I am trying to clear up all the spelling issues and grammer.
Thanks. I will contact you when I post Part 6. I think it will probably be done this week or next week. I am not rushing anymore because that made me relize where my mistakes happened.
Thanks. I have been doing this in Part Six. It should follow all three of your points. Thanks againg for helping me out.
I beleive When Evil Meets Evil Has gotten better since the begaining and I am trying to clear up all the spelling issues and grammer.
Thanks. I will contact you when I post Part 6. I think it will probably be done this week or next week. I am not rushing anymore because that made me relize where my mistakes happened.
- Thread starter
- #37
Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
After a cuple of weeks I finally completed Part . I am sorry for the delay. I have been extreamly busy. Warning ths Chapter apperes to be very long. Probably the longest Chapter I have ever written.
Part 6 Giovanni Takes on Cyrus
Giovanni moaned as his floating parachute finally reached the grassy ground below him. Giovanni found unexpected guest as he finally found the land he awaited for.
“Well, if it isn’t the heart splitting Giovanni. I have heard of all your mischief to the world,” moaned Cyrus has he introduced himself.
Giovanni looked around to make sure he was still alive in Kanto. Finally his team reached the ground to greet him.
“If you must know, I am Giovanni, the one that you will bow down to once I reach victory. You must be the one who wants to use the two fierce dragon beasts to create your own world. Since that didn’t work you decided to control the world that is already here. I see the connectivity,” outlined Giovanni, slowly walking up to Cyrus’s crunched face.
Giovanni was right when he explained all the material of there planned schemes. He was the one that didn’t understand it himself.
Slowly, Cyrus lifted his hand stiffly and smacked Giovanni directly at his standard sized head.
“Are you trying to make your next boss upset,” whispered Cyrus as Giovanni fell firm on the verdant ground.
Giovanni slowly rose to his feet and then landed his fist unswervingly in Cyrus’s now bruised stomach of pain.
Cyrus nearly chocked and then all of his grunts backed him up. The Team Rocket grunts ran towards there rivals and began the fist fight.
The fist fight began with Giovanni and Cyrus leading the group battle. One grunt fought another and it continuously ended up in pain and wretchedness.
Ashes continued to fall from the dark, cloudy, sky. Unexpectedly, rains poured onto there sweaty, wet, heads and were completely drenched in acid rain. They were too occupied in the fight, so they didn’t even notice the frigid rain that fell before them.
“Its time you taste defeat,” announced Giovanni softly. “The games are over.”
Cyrus stumbled back slowly while Giovanni followed with his powerful fist waving in the blowing, murky, air.
“I can’t express this enough. I am the one who went through the trouble to capture Dialga and Palkia and these stupid twerps began my misery. I have given up in Sinnoh to come to the weak Kanto. I took the time to pack so now time is mine,” explained Cyrus now forcing Giovanni to move from his spot.
The fight began to slow down along with the now soft rain. Giovanni stopped punching and kicking and Cyrus laid back to relax.
“I have a better way and finishing this. This one that won’t kill both of us,” said Cyrus and began his idea. The grunts listened and so did the mischievous Giovanni.
“I would like to here more,” replied Giovanni and he listened has Cyrus demanded a Pokemon fight.
I think that we shouldn’t suffer from fist. It is our Pokemon. That is what they are made for, violence.
“What a splendid idea. I shouldn’t take the heat. That is why I carry Pokemon. A three on three battle will satisfy enough,” answered Giovanni adding his little devious smirk.
Giovanni turned his back on Cyrus and went to his Team executives for advice on which Pokemon he should use to dominate Cyrus. Cyrus did the same and trembled his way to Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.
Cyrus faced Mars expecting her juicy plans and thoughts to create the battle mischief.
“I have nothing. I have no idea what Giovanni could be planning. He is just a mysterious guy,” said Mars as she studied Giovanni and his plots.
“So what about you Jupiter; I could use your good intelligence to pick my team for this decisive match,” whispered Cyrus.
“This is the first time that my five years at Pokemon training school is not paying off. My mind just went blank. We can’t underestimate Giovanni’s powerful mind. He has got secret tricks up his sleeve,” replied Jupiter with her head down in embarrassment.
“Cyrus, I think I have just the team for you. You should definitely use Weavile. We need someone quick on his feet. We also need a flying type and Honchkrow will fit in that category. I don’t think it will hurt to add Houndoom to the battling team,” suggested Saturn before Cyrus could speak.
Cyrus appreciated Saturn’s ideas and was completely amazed at the best team that Cyrus could have used.
“This shall bring Giovanni to his knees and he will beg for mercy and he will not achieve it from me.”
Cyrus chose the Pokeballs suggested by Commander Saturn and waited patiently as Giovanni searched for his perfect team.
Giovanni completed his task to find a perfect Pokemon team and approached his battling stance.
“I suppose you are ready to meet failure. You are a foolish man to challenge me, Cyrus, your next emperor. I will start in Kanto, and then I will grow to the rest of this world.”
The Team Galactic and Rocket Grunts stood outside of the area of the battle.
“Now it is time to begin the three on three match with no substitutions,” announced Giovanni.
“Yes I know the rules. Let the super battle began,” replied Cyrus.
“Come out… Nidoking,” yelled Giovanni in his sinister voice.
“I choose you, Weavile,” announced Cyrus in an almost silent tone.
Cyrus said a few words under his breath right before the first move was made.
“Nidoking, use double kick.” Nidoking’s large purple body moved an inch closer to the quick Weavile. His body leaped into the gushing air and his foot landed right into Weavile’s small head.
Weavile was forced onto the rocky ground by Nidoking’s powerful foot. Weavile tried to lift his body up but it was almost impossible because both of his small feet were buried in enormous boulders.
Nidoking rushed over to Weavile to land his fist straight into Weavile’s skinny body. Weavile shrieked as Nidoking’s fist planted right into the center of his body.
Tears ran down Weavile’s face and his feet were still trapped in the unsatisfying boulders.
“This doesn’t look to good. What am I going to do,” questioned Cyrus in his dark thoughts.
“What’s wrong Cyrus? Nidoking got your tongue. You haven’t said a word to your weakling through the whole match. Are you already cracking,” said Giovanni who was obviously winning the unbeatable match.
Weavile wiggled to try and free himself from the heavy boulders. One foot squeezed out while the other foot uncomfortably was still penetrated under the rocks.
“Nidoking let them know that this is not a joke. I want to control this region even if it is the last thing I do. Focus Punch, now,” yelled the sinister Giovanni.
Finally Weavile broke free from the boulder’s clutches and ran to protect his life in the outraging match. Nidoking’s Focus Punch smashed through the tough boulder. His large hand was trapped in the boulder and it was now Weavile’s chance to fight for the needed win.
“Yes, Weavile, Good. Now they had there fun. Its time to speed things up just a bit,” stated Cyrus. “Use Night Slash before he can brake free.
Weavile rushed to meet his fierce opponent. Before Nidoking could say a word, Weavile’s glowing hand smashed into Nidoking’s sensitive face.
Has the Night Slash crossed through Nidoking’s face a faint noise was herd from the empty fields.
“Giovanni, you are not running away so easily. I am going to get you and stop you and Cyrus,” yelled the mystery voice from far, far away.
“It must be that brat from my aircraft,” said Giovanni to himself.
Everyone there watched as the boy and his Pidgeot arrived to end the show.
“I am here to save Kanto,” panted the boy breathing in hard. He raised his face to reveal scars and bruises from the ashes that fell on their wet faces.
“Who do you think you are running into the most important battle that exists in Kanto as of now,” said Cyrus directing it towards the interrupting boy.
“My name is… Gary Oak. You got a clue. I am the Grandson of Professor Oak. I was sent here to help Kanto in its needs. I will put an end to the war,” said Gary as he walked up to Giovanni.
“You have committed way to many crimes and this one has gone overboard. People are cramped into places that haven’t been destroyed by you or any of the other teams,” raged Gary grinding his fingers into Giovanni’s soft suit.
“I don’t have time for you, brat. I will deal with you after I deal with Cyrus. For now take your little kiddy Pokemon and get out of here,” replied Giovanni wiping his shirt from the wrinkles made.
Giovanni pushed Gary aside so he could continue what he thought was more important. Gary fell to the ground and coughed from the smoke and ash. The smell was to strong for his delicate nose. The smell of fire filled the massive area and lots of Grunts coughed and squinted there eye’s due to the terrible smell and smoke.
Cyrus continued the battle and started the first move.
“There is not time to wait, end him with Dark Pulse,” demanded Cyrus catching Giovanni and Nidoking off guard. Weavile let out a loud and strong cough and then did what he was told.
Dark swirls appeared dimly in Weavile‘s tiny hands. As Weavile’s move progressed the dark circles turned into pure darkness and they got bigger than when it first started. A minute passed and Weavile ran into Nidoking who was still unhappy with his hands in the strong rock.
Bang!
Giovanni turned his head and avoided the scene that would forever hunt him.
Nidoking cried out his last shriek and unconsciously fell to the rough ground that waited for his heavy body to fall.
Giovanni didn’t watch but knew that Nidoking had failed him for the first time. Giovanni retuned Nidoking and held out Nidoking’s Pokeball and then threw it far away from his site.
The Team Rocket Grunts gasped and the Team Galactic Grunts cheered there leader on.
“One down two more pests to destroy,” laughed Cyrus softly so no others would hear.
Giovanni sent out his next Pokemon in which he trusted. The queen appeared from her ball. Nidoqueen was well prepared to stomp all over the match. With the similar looks of Nidoking, Cyrus was greatly confused.
“All of Kanto’s Pokemon are hideous and so unfamiliar. Take a visit to Sinnoh and you will find a heck of a lot better creatures,” remarked Cyrus immodest over Sinnoh.
“That Weavile is such a Weakling. You call that from Sinnoh a high-quality battler,” defended Giovanni not wanting his region to sound feeble and scrawny.
“If he’s so weak than why did it turn your Nidoking up side down,” replied Cyrus obviously being the correct one.
Gary sat up and watched the bickering until he finally interrupted, “could you two just battle already so I can beat one of you up.”
Cyrus stopped and so did Giovanni and the battle continued and it seemed non stop. The fist went from face to face and stomach to stomach.
Finally Gary and the grunts became engrossed when Giovanni let out Nidoqueen’s signature move.
“These punches aren’t getting this battle anywhere. Nidoqueen, finish him off with Superpower.”
Nidoqueen’s baby blue body began to glow brightly and she was definitely powerful. Her fist dug into the ground and then she lifted a massive piece of the ground and flung it in Weavile’s direction.
“Dodge the rock quickly,” said Cyrus calmly.
Weavile ran from the rocks direction but Nidoqueen did not give up. He continued to through large bits of the ground below him at Weavile. They continued to miss and Nidoking’s power backfired on himself. He trapped himself in a deep hole in which he dug up. It was too deep for Nidoking to escape and Weavile had the advantage for this part in the match.
“Another flaw through your almost good moves. I laughed when I saw that your own Pokemon trapped himself while my Weavile just dodged rocks. Do you still believe that Sinnoh Pokemon are weaklings,” rejoiced Cyrus continuing to be the correct proclamation.
Giovanni ignored the true declaration moaned. He was down one Pokemon and his own Pokemon put itself in peril. Everything Cyrus said was true and Giovanni was afraid of failure.
Giovanni’s head was down but then a sharp idea popped in his mind. If Weavile tries to hit him, he would have to be in the hole as well. It is impossible to hit Nidoking unless he uses a move that doesn’t need any physical contact.
“This has gone far too long. I want him done…NOW,” scolded Cyrus with a happy but frightening grin.
Weavile was so smart until he ended up in the hole along with the attentive Nidoking.
Cyrus was furious with Weavile’s dumb moves that had brought him desolation.
Giovanni and Cyrus could not see the fighting in the profound hole. It was too far-off for their spots to see. It was them alone and no leader had control of Weavile and Nidoking.
In the deep hole the fist fights continued with both almost swiped off there feats. Eventually one fell and it ended up being the weak Nidoqueen.
When Nidoqueen was down no one could distinguish the fact. There was no proof that one was down and the two challengers were not permitted to see there leave there assigned spots.
Weavile needed to prove to Cyrus and Giovanni that Nidoqueen had fainted but he could not get out of the hole. He tried climbing up the step sides of the hole but would always slip down. Weavile tried yelling, but the hole was two far away for his faint voice to travel through the air.
“How are we suppose to acknowledge when one faints. We have to leave our positions right this moment,” said Giovanni stubbornly.
“I suppose you are correct. It is impossible as of right now,” replied Cyrus.
Giovanni and Cyrus walked to opposite sides of the hole and then they found that Nidoqueen had fallen and Weavile had won again.
Cyrus helped Weavile up and returned to his battling position. Giovanni muttered a few nasty words under his breathe than returned Nidoqueen to his Pokeball.
He picked up his next Pokemon and realized that this was his winning need. A flying type is what he needed and what he had chosen.
“Honchkrow finish this battle even if you have to suffer through three more of his Pokemon,” demanded Giovanni putting his fist down.
Giovanni was left with one Pokemon and Cyrus continued to contain three powerful Pokemon.
“Even without my Pokemon’s orders he still knocked your Pokemon down. Face it Giovanni, you can’t beat me, Kanto’s next King.”
Giovanni then replied in his nasty voice, “You are just the lucky one here. But your luck ends at this point. Honchkrow use Wing Attack.”
The blue bird type Pokemon flew into the dusty and smoky clouds and raced down out of the clouds with his wing shining towards Weavile’s direction. Honchkrow appeared from nowhere and Weavile was blinded and hit…hard.
Weavile was finished for the battle but served his needs. Cyrus was not mad when he fainted because he lasted far more than what he had expected.
“Don’t get to excited Giovanni. Honchkrow is about to meet his match. Have you ever had to battle a Honchkrow, because this is going to confuse both of us? I choose you Honchkrow,” yelled out Cyrus.
The two bird Pokemon stepped by one another and no differences were found. They looked like identical twins with nothing different.
“Good work Cyrus. Now both of us are going to have to suffer through confusion,” said the ignorant Giovanni.
Both birds were tall and had blue and white fur that covered their entire body. Under there sensitive wings, there was hidden red fur and at the end of their fluffy tail an inch of red fur was also located. With their orange beak, they made Pokemon battle’s beautiful and amazing.
“Time for the show to began, Sky Attack now,” yelled out Giovanni to his Honchkrow, knowing that his Pokemon would respond.
Both bird beauties flew to the sky above them and Giovanni’s bird made his move. Unfortunately it missed and Cyrus’s bird was much faster then Giovanni’s Honchkrow.
Both Pokemon began slamming into each other in the dark sky that still held drowning smoke and ash. They both barley breathed the toxic air.
“Arial Ace now,” yelled Cyrus so his Honchkrow could hear his call.
“Oh ya, Arial Ace too,” mimicked Giovanni wanting to show Cyrus that his Pokemon can do a move much better.
Both birds did as they were told and it didn’t end up well for one of the evil birds. One crashed to the floor unconscious. The winning bird flew back to his leader. Giovanni wondered if the battle would continue or was it already over.
After a cuple of weeks I finally completed Part . I am sorry for the delay. I have been extreamly busy. Warning ths Chapter apperes to be very long. Probably the longest Chapter I have ever written.
Part 6 Giovanni Takes on Cyrus
Giovanni moaned as his floating parachute finally reached the grassy ground below him. Giovanni found unexpected guest as he finally found the land he awaited for.
“Well, if it isn’t the heart splitting Giovanni. I have heard of all your mischief to the world,” moaned Cyrus has he introduced himself.
Giovanni looked around to make sure he was still alive in Kanto. Finally his team reached the ground to greet him.
“If you must know, I am Giovanni, the one that you will bow down to once I reach victory. You must be the one who wants to use the two fierce dragon beasts to create your own world. Since that didn’t work you decided to control the world that is already here. I see the connectivity,” outlined Giovanni, slowly walking up to Cyrus’s crunched face.
Giovanni was right when he explained all the material of there planned schemes. He was the one that didn’t understand it himself.
Slowly, Cyrus lifted his hand stiffly and smacked Giovanni directly at his standard sized head.
“Are you trying to make your next boss upset,” whispered Cyrus as Giovanni fell firm on the verdant ground.
Giovanni slowly rose to his feet and then landed his fist unswervingly in Cyrus’s now bruised stomach of pain.
Cyrus nearly chocked and then all of his grunts backed him up. The Team Rocket grunts ran towards there rivals and began the fist fight.
The fist fight began with Giovanni and Cyrus leading the group battle. One grunt fought another and it continuously ended up in pain and wretchedness.
Ashes continued to fall from the dark, cloudy, sky. Unexpectedly, rains poured onto there sweaty, wet, heads and were completely drenched in acid rain. They were too occupied in the fight, so they didn’t even notice the frigid rain that fell before them.
“Its time you taste defeat,” announced Giovanni softly. “The games are over.”
Cyrus stumbled back slowly while Giovanni followed with his powerful fist waving in the blowing, murky, air.
“I can’t express this enough. I am the one who went through the trouble to capture Dialga and Palkia and these stupid twerps began my misery. I have given up in Sinnoh to come to the weak Kanto. I took the time to pack so now time is mine,” explained Cyrus now forcing Giovanni to move from his spot.
The fight began to slow down along with the now soft rain. Giovanni stopped punching and kicking and Cyrus laid back to relax.
“I have a better way and finishing this. This one that won’t kill both of us,” said Cyrus and began his idea. The grunts listened and so did the mischievous Giovanni.
“I would like to here more,” replied Giovanni and he listened has Cyrus demanded a Pokemon fight.
I think that we shouldn’t suffer from fist. It is our Pokemon. That is what they are made for, violence.
“What a splendid idea. I shouldn’t take the heat. That is why I carry Pokemon. A three on three battle will satisfy enough,” answered Giovanni adding his little devious smirk.
Giovanni turned his back on Cyrus and went to his Team executives for advice on which Pokemon he should use to dominate Cyrus. Cyrus did the same and trembled his way to Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.
Cyrus faced Mars expecting her juicy plans and thoughts to create the battle mischief.
“I have nothing. I have no idea what Giovanni could be planning. He is just a mysterious guy,” said Mars as she studied Giovanni and his plots.
“So what about you Jupiter; I could use your good intelligence to pick my team for this decisive match,” whispered Cyrus.
“This is the first time that my five years at Pokemon training school is not paying off. My mind just went blank. We can’t underestimate Giovanni’s powerful mind. He has got secret tricks up his sleeve,” replied Jupiter with her head down in embarrassment.
“Cyrus, I think I have just the team for you. You should definitely use Weavile. We need someone quick on his feet. We also need a flying type and Honchkrow will fit in that category. I don’t think it will hurt to add Houndoom to the battling team,” suggested Saturn before Cyrus could speak.
Cyrus appreciated Saturn’s ideas and was completely amazed at the best team that Cyrus could have used.
“This shall bring Giovanni to his knees and he will beg for mercy and he will not achieve it from me.”
Cyrus chose the Pokeballs suggested by Commander Saturn and waited patiently as Giovanni searched for his perfect team.
Giovanni completed his task to find a perfect Pokemon team and approached his battling stance.
“I suppose you are ready to meet failure. You are a foolish man to challenge me, Cyrus, your next emperor. I will start in Kanto, and then I will grow to the rest of this world.”
The Team Galactic and Rocket Grunts stood outside of the area of the battle.
“Now it is time to begin the three on three match with no substitutions,” announced Giovanni.
“Yes I know the rules. Let the super battle began,” replied Cyrus.
“Come out… Nidoking,” yelled Giovanni in his sinister voice.
“I choose you, Weavile,” announced Cyrus in an almost silent tone.
Cyrus said a few words under his breath right before the first move was made.
“Nidoking, use double kick.” Nidoking’s large purple body moved an inch closer to the quick Weavile. His body leaped into the gushing air and his foot landed right into Weavile’s small head.
Weavile was forced onto the rocky ground by Nidoking’s powerful foot. Weavile tried to lift his body up but it was almost impossible because both of his small feet were buried in enormous boulders.
Nidoking rushed over to Weavile to land his fist straight into Weavile’s skinny body. Weavile shrieked as Nidoking’s fist planted right into the center of his body.
Tears ran down Weavile’s face and his feet were still trapped in the unsatisfying boulders.
“This doesn’t look to good. What am I going to do,” questioned Cyrus in his dark thoughts.
“What’s wrong Cyrus? Nidoking got your tongue. You haven’t said a word to your weakling through the whole match. Are you already cracking,” said Giovanni who was obviously winning the unbeatable match.
Weavile wiggled to try and free himself from the heavy boulders. One foot squeezed out while the other foot uncomfortably was still penetrated under the rocks.
“Nidoking let them know that this is not a joke. I want to control this region even if it is the last thing I do. Focus Punch, now,” yelled the sinister Giovanni.
Finally Weavile broke free from the boulder’s clutches and ran to protect his life in the outraging match. Nidoking’s Focus Punch smashed through the tough boulder. His large hand was trapped in the boulder and it was now Weavile’s chance to fight for the needed win.
“Yes, Weavile, Good. Now they had there fun. Its time to speed things up just a bit,” stated Cyrus. “Use Night Slash before he can brake free.
Weavile rushed to meet his fierce opponent. Before Nidoking could say a word, Weavile’s glowing hand smashed into Nidoking’s sensitive face.
Has the Night Slash crossed through Nidoking’s face a faint noise was herd from the empty fields.
“Giovanni, you are not running away so easily. I am going to get you and stop you and Cyrus,” yelled the mystery voice from far, far away.
“It must be that brat from my aircraft,” said Giovanni to himself.
Everyone there watched as the boy and his Pidgeot arrived to end the show.
“I am here to save Kanto,” panted the boy breathing in hard. He raised his face to reveal scars and bruises from the ashes that fell on their wet faces.
“Who do you think you are running into the most important battle that exists in Kanto as of now,” said Cyrus directing it towards the interrupting boy.
“My name is… Gary Oak. You got a clue. I am the Grandson of Professor Oak. I was sent here to help Kanto in its needs. I will put an end to the war,” said Gary as he walked up to Giovanni.
“You have committed way to many crimes and this one has gone overboard. People are cramped into places that haven’t been destroyed by you or any of the other teams,” raged Gary grinding his fingers into Giovanni’s soft suit.
“I don’t have time for you, brat. I will deal with you after I deal with Cyrus. For now take your little kiddy Pokemon and get out of here,” replied Giovanni wiping his shirt from the wrinkles made.
Giovanni pushed Gary aside so he could continue what he thought was more important. Gary fell to the ground and coughed from the smoke and ash. The smell was to strong for his delicate nose. The smell of fire filled the massive area and lots of Grunts coughed and squinted there eye’s due to the terrible smell and smoke.
Cyrus continued the battle and started the first move.
“There is not time to wait, end him with Dark Pulse,” demanded Cyrus catching Giovanni and Nidoking off guard. Weavile let out a loud and strong cough and then did what he was told.
Dark swirls appeared dimly in Weavile‘s tiny hands. As Weavile’s move progressed the dark circles turned into pure darkness and they got bigger than when it first started. A minute passed and Weavile ran into Nidoking who was still unhappy with his hands in the strong rock.
Bang!
Giovanni turned his head and avoided the scene that would forever hunt him.
Nidoking cried out his last shriek and unconsciously fell to the rough ground that waited for his heavy body to fall.
Giovanni didn’t watch but knew that Nidoking had failed him for the first time. Giovanni retuned Nidoking and held out Nidoking’s Pokeball and then threw it far away from his site.
The Team Rocket Grunts gasped and the Team Galactic Grunts cheered there leader on.
“One down two more pests to destroy,” laughed Cyrus softly so no others would hear.
Giovanni sent out his next Pokemon in which he trusted. The queen appeared from her ball. Nidoqueen was well prepared to stomp all over the match. With the similar looks of Nidoking, Cyrus was greatly confused.
“All of Kanto’s Pokemon are hideous and so unfamiliar. Take a visit to Sinnoh and you will find a heck of a lot better creatures,” remarked Cyrus immodest over Sinnoh.
“That Weavile is such a Weakling. You call that from Sinnoh a high-quality battler,” defended Giovanni not wanting his region to sound feeble and scrawny.
“If he’s so weak than why did it turn your Nidoking up side down,” replied Cyrus obviously being the correct one.
Gary sat up and watched the bickering until he finally interrupted, “could you two just battle already so I can beat one of you up.”
Cyrus stopped and so did Giovanni and the battle continued and it seemed non stop. The fist went from face to face and stomach to stomach.
Finally Gary and the grunts became engrossed when Giovanni let out Nidoqueen’s signature move.
“These punches aren’t getting this battle anywhere. Nidoqueen, finish him off with Superpower.”
Nidoqueen’s baby blue body began to glow brightly and she was definitely powerful. Her fist dug into the ground and then she lifted a massive piece of the ground and flung it in Weavile’s direction.
“Dodge the rock quickly,” said Cyrus calmly.
Weavile ran from the rocks direction but Nidoqueen did not give up. He continued to through large bits of the ground below him at Weavile. They continued to miss and Nidoking’s power backfired on himself. He trapped himself in a deep hole in which he dug up. It was too deep for Nidoking to escape and Weavile had the advantage for this part in the match.
“Another flaw through your almost good moves. I laughed when I saw that your own Pokemon trapped himself while my Weavile just dodged rocks. Do you still believe that Sinnoh Pokemon are weaklings,” rejoiced Cyrus continuing to be the correct proclamation.
Giovanni ignored the true declaration moaned. He was down one Pokemon and his own Pokemon put itself in peril. Everything Cyrus said was true and Giovanni was afraid of failure.
Giovanni’s head was down but then a sharp idea popped in his mind. If Weavile tries to hit him, he would have to be in the hole as well. It is impossible to hit Nidoking unless he uses a move that doesn’t need any physical contact.
“This has gone far too long. I want him done…NOW,” scolded Cyrus with a happy but frightening grin.
Weavile was so smart until he ended up in the hole along with the attentive Nidoking.
Cyrus was furious with Weavile’s dumb moves that had brought him desolation.
Giovanni and Cyrus could not see the fighting in the profound hole. It was too far-off for their spots to see. It was them alone and no leader had control of Weavile and Nidoking.
In the deep hole the fist fights continued with both almost swiped off there feats. Eventually one fell and it ended up being the weak Nidoqueen.
When Nidoqueen was down no one could distinguish the fact. There was no proof that one was down and the two challengers were not permitted to see there leave there assigned spots.
Weavile needed to prove to Cyrus and Giovanni that Nidoqueen had fainted but he could not get out of the hole. He tried climbing up the step sides of the hole but would always slip down. Weavile tried yelling, but the hole was two far away for his faint voice to travel through the air.
“How are we suppose to acknowledge when one faints. We have to leave our positions right this moment,” said Giovanni stubbornly.
“I suppose you are correct. It is impossible as of right now,” replied Cyrus.
Giovanni and Cyrus walked to opposite sides of the hole and then they found that Nidoqueen had fallen and Weavile had won again.
Cyrus helped Weavile up and returned to his battling position. Giovanni muttered a few nasty words under his breathe than returned Nidoqueen to his Pokeball.
He picked up his next Pokemon and realized that this was his winning need. A flying type is what he needed and what he had chosen.
“Honchkrow finish this battle even if you have to suffer through three more of his Pokemon,” demanded Giovanni putting his fist down.
Giovanni was left with one Pokemon and Cyrus continued to contain three powerful Pokemon.
“Even without my Pokemon’s orders he still knocked your Pokemon down. Face it Giovanni, you can’t beat me, Kanto’s next King.”
Giovanni then replied in his nasty voice, “You are just the lucky one here. But your luck ends at this point. Honchkrow use Wing Attack.”
The blue bird type Pokemon flew into the dusty and smoky clouds and raced down out of the clouds with his wing shining towards Weavile’s direction. Honchkrow appeared from nowhere and Weavile was blinded and hit…hard.
Weavile was finished for the battle but served his needs. Cyrus was not mad when he fainted because he lasted far more than what he had expected.
“Don’t get to excited Giovanni. Honchkrow is about to meet his match. Have you ever had to battle a Honchkrow, because this is going to confuse both of us? I choose you Honchkrow,” yelled out Cyrus.
The two bird Pokemon stepped by one another and no differences were found. They looked like identical twins with nothing different.
“Good work Cyrus. Now both of us are going to have to suffer through confusion,” said the ignorant Giovanni.
Both birds were tall and had blue and white fur that covered their entire body. Under there sensitive wings, there was hidden red fur and at the end of their fluffy tail an inch of red fur was also located. With their orange beak, they made Pokemon battle’s beautiful and amazing.
“Time for the show to began, Sky Attack now,” yelled out Giovanni to his Honchkrow, knowing that his Pokemon would respond.
Both bird beauties flew to the sky above them and Giovanni’s bird made his move. Unfortunately it missed and Cyrus’s bird was much faster then Giovanni’s Honchkrow.
Both Pokemon began slamming into each other in the dark sky that still held drowning smoke and ash. They both barley breathed the toxic air.
“Arial Ace now,” yelled Cyrus so his Honchkrow could hear his call.
“Oh ya, Arial Ace too,” mimicked Giovanni wanting to show Cyrus that his Pokemon can do a move much better.
Both birds did as they were told and it didn’t end up well for one of the evil birds. One crashed to the floor unconscious. The winning bird flew back to his leader. Giovanni wondered if the battle would continue or was it already over.
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Sith Droideka
I! AM NOT! A MORON!
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Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 5 Posted) Please Read
Interesting plot. For starters:
1. Grammar, spelling: I assume English is not your first language, or at least your spellcheck is shot.
2. Exposition: we probably need to know why Archie, Maxie, Cyrus, and Giovanni are acting this way. Especially Archie and Maxie.
3. Cyrus: he's acting a bit too... friendly. Cyrus doesn't like to show his emotions, so all his cheerfulness makes me think that this isn't Cyrus.
However, there are several very amusing lines in this fic ("my Pokemon is so big and heavy and yours is just a light weight bat" is very amusing).
Of course, no offense.
Interesting plot. For starters:
1. Grammar, spelling: I assume English is not your first language, or at least your spellcheck is shot.
2. Exposition: we probably need to know why Archie, Maxie, Cyrus, and Giovanni are acting this way. Especially Archie and Maxie.
3. Cyrus: he's acting a bit too... friendly. Cyrus doesn't like to show his emotions, so all his cheerfulness makes me think that this isn't Cyrus.
However, there are several very amusing lines in this fic ("my Pokemon is so big and heavy and yours is just a light weight bat" is very amusing).
Of course, no offense.
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Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 6 Posted) Please Read
I'll agree with Battle Droid--I want to know why the team leaders are acting OOC, especially Cyrus.
(OOC=Out of Character in RP speak)
I'll agree with Battle Droid--I want to know why the team leaders are acting OOC, especially Cyrus.
(OOC=Out of Character in RP speak)
Marcat
Just Marcat
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Re: When Evil Meets Evil (Part 6 Posted) Please Read
Good chapter, Most of what I would say has already been metioned like OOC and maybe some grammar.
Be sure to check spelling, Aerial Ace was spelled wrong for instance.
I liked the chapter a lot though. Keep 'em comin'.
Good chapter, Most of what I would say has already been metioned like OOC and maybe some grammar.
Be sure to check spelling, Aerial Ace was spelled wrong for instance.
I liked the chapter a lot though. Keep 'em comin'.
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