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Who's in Your Avatar?

The short version: Myself/my Final Fantasy XIV character as a female Hrothgar [only the males exist in the game at the moment], drawn by Enkou / @oolongnoon.

Arylett's Unending Pickiness about her Avatar/Fursona and the Overly Long Explanation: Buckle up, it's going to be a ridiculous ride. No really, I am fully aware that I take these things too seriously.

Basically for the vast majority of my life, I have attempted to create a fursona.

Yet for me, such is far, far easier said than done. My attempts started in earnest in 2015. Since then, I have cycled through so many designs, mostly canines, and only now recently a feline. Sometimes, they are Pokemon, and sometimes, they are not. [Though I have now decided to have a separate Pokesona from fursona and alternate the two depending on my mood.]

In my new favorite game, Final Fantasy XIV, they added the first and only playable furry race back in 2019 - called Hrothgar. Due to time constraints, they only added the males. Since then, I have spent ridiculous amounts of hand power attempting to devise my own depiction of how a female might look, exploring the concept on and off. But I have rarely drawn felines, and thus am woefully inexperienced at them, so I despised all of my efforts.

Recently, I wanted to create an FF14 character for roleplay, yet the available pool of furries to choose from was limited. Further, I wanted my fursona to be from my favorite game. Because once they added female Hrothgar in the future, this is the version of myself I'd see moving, breathing, in a living world. The one who I would spend the most time with, as opposed to a static drawing. I already was feeling attachment to my in-game character, though could not fully connect with her due to her mostly human design. [I do not connect as much with human representations as furries because I am broken.]

So I went for a last resort. One that, ordinarily, I wouldn't have even been able to try due to lack of finances. Recently though, that had changed, and my husband gifted me with this glorious commission. Though I was also reluctant because I would be admitting to myself that I was a failure of an artist, I was so exhausted that I was open to the idea. So I took a shot in the dark, and found Enkou, who was able to create something that was exactly what really picky me wanted on the first draft.

Now exists the pinnacle of Arylett Charnoa, this female Hrothgar. I have a proper reference, finally, and I hope to continue with this as my fursona, drawing my own versions of this depiction. [Which I doubt will stand up to Enkou's art, but oh well] I don't know what the future will hold, given my immensely finicky and fickle nature, but I am very pleased for the moment.
 
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