Will you be my...

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I am a fossil... technically. A relic of a bygone era.

Will you be my Ahab Reactor?
 
Ducks
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...We are unfamiliar with the term, thus We 'shan't risk it', as some ponies say these days.

Will thou be Our servant?
 
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Depends on the privileges, honestly

Will you be my box opener?
 
Astersol Sorceress
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No. I absolutely suck at that. I have someone else to open my boxes for me.

Will you be my chair?
 
"In your dreams."
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I like taking notes, but I won't do it for others. No.

Will you be my pair of scissors?
 
Just some random guy on a random site
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No, I don't want to be a disguise even if I knew how to.

Will you fight Grimm with me?
 
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You're not sending me out to be cannon fodder.

Will you be my three-times-faster-than-normal mobile suit?
 
Ducks
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I would rather not, though I have heard tales of water-generating spells if you are interested.

Will you be a star in my night sky.
 
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As long as it's shipped by EMS.

Will you be my flag?
 
star gazer
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assuming you hang me properly, yes

will you be my maid/butler?
 
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I've considered dropping college and becoming a butler, so probably

Will you be my letter opener?
 
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