TEEN: Wonders of Unova

[FullMoon]

Welcome to Wonders of Unova. This is a fanfic I've been planning for quite a while now and finally managed to start writing, or at least finish the prologue. It's mainly in the Slice of Life genre as well as the Friendship and Journey genre, so if this kind of story isn't your thing you probably won't enjoy this as much, still I hope you guys can enjoy it.

The story is mostly lighthearted and doesn't go too dark, however there are plans to address some more mature subjects, so I've put it into the Teen category for precaution.

With that, happy reading!

Summary: A young boy decides to start his journey early, being eager to explore the vast and wonderful land of Unova, and goes off to look for a Pokémon to capture all by himself and ends up having an unexpected encounter that would be the start of a whole new adventure in a region full of all kinds of people and places to explore.

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Table of Contents:

Prologue: Phantom of the Earth

Chapter 1: The Frigid City.

Chapter 2: Buds and Magnets.

 

[FullMoon]

Prologue: Phantom of the Earth​

​

It was already past midnight in Icirrus City, not only that, but it was the middle of the winter, resulting in a very cold night. That, however, didn’t stop a young boy no older than eight from making his way out of his home while his father and brother were out. His name was Alex Treadwell and in order to deal with the cold outside his home he was wearing a brown vest over his blue t-shirt, as well as a gray scarf, brown pants and gray sneakers.

There was only one reason for the boy to be going out at that time, and that was to catch a Pokémon when no one would be around to stop him from going out of the city. He heard that during winter the snow piled up in a way that allowed people to climb to a rather high cliff on the way to Dragonspiral Tower and that many rare Pokémon could be found there, so it was the perfect time to go catch something.

Wandering around the city carrying nothing more than a single Pokéball with him, Alex was making his way to the path to Dragonspiral Tower. The city was almost completely deserted due to everyone already having gone to sleep at that point. It was also very cold and windy at the time, that combination made the boy shiver very easily and frequently.

“M-Maybe I should’ve worn a coat instead of j-j-ju-just a vest.” he mumbled as the cold wind made him shiver more.

Despite going back being the likely better choice, the boy decided to keep going in order to not risk being busted by his dad or brother. It was snowing at the city and together with the lights from the lamp posts around made the city quite pretty to look at, but other than the occasional building with its lights turned on there wasn’t much of note.

Finally he found the snow pile he heard about, it being right between him and the path to the tower and seemed to lead perfectly into the cliff at his left, so he climbed it onto the large cliff.

Unfortunately there wasn’t much for him to find there. The higher altitude made it feel even colder up there and even after wandering into the tall grass, there didn’t seem to be any wild Pokémon around.

“Did they all go to sleep too? Come on! After all the work to get here…” he thought, letting out a disappointed sigh.

He then wandered over to the edge of the cliff, looking down. It would be quite the fall if he ended up plummeting from there, though the snow could help cushion the fall a little bit. Once again he couldn’t find a single wild Pokémon around; from there he looked at the huge amount of trees in front of him.

“I guess they all must be sleeping there, I wonder if it’s warmer there…” he thought as once again a strong wind hit him and made him rubs his arms as he shivered.
Moving away from the edge, he looked around again, finding absolutely nothing, but since he had gone through all the trouble to get there, he decided to just wait and see if something would come out. He then saw another rather big snow pile and decided to sit on it as he waited around. Just as he did though, he started hearing some rather loud steps coming from the area below, it was actually enough to startle him a bit and make him jump. He then noticed that the snow he was sitting was surprisingly warm and once he put a hand on it was that he noticed that it wasn’t snow, it was fur; his eyes widened in realization just as it started to shake.

Alex quickly got up and got some distance as the “snow pile” suddenly started to stand up, revealing a huge white polar bear towering over him and looking very, very angry at him for waking him up.

“U-Uh, I-I’m sorry Mr.Beartic. I-I promise I’ll let you sleep now. R-Really!” said Alex, now not only shivering because of the cold, but also due to sheer fear as he took a few steps back.

The Beartic responded by simply roaring at him with a killer look in its eyes, making Alex panic as the bear was slowly walking towards him as he walked backwards in response; he forgot, however, that he was slowly walking towards the edge of the cliff and eventually he took one step too many and found himself plummeting down. He let out a terrified scream and closed his eyes as he fell.

Despite the height of the cliff, Alex hit the ground fairly quickly and actually didn’t feel much pain, much less died. Oddly enough he didn’t feel any snow despite the ground being coated in it when he saw it from up there. Even weirder was that soon he realized that his legs were hanging in the air somehow.

He then opened his eyes slowly as he turned to his left and the first thing he saw were four enormous teal-colored fingers made of clay, he then quickly looked to his right and saw it, the large body of a teal golem with some bright yellow lights in its body, including a bandage on a large crack on its chest. He was being held by a Golurk.

“AAAH!” He screamed and instinctively jumped out of the Golurk’s hand, but doing that only made him fall off and land on his face on the snow, but at least he was still alive. “Ow… At least the snow is soft…” he muttered

Soon enough he felt something grab and lift him, then proceed to put him on the ground in a standing position, much like he himself did when he tried to make his action figures stand still when they fell over and over again, fortunately he had enough balance to not fall again. He then looked at his helper, the Golurk, who was crouching in order to be able to interact with him better.

“Uh… Thanks, big guy…” he said, somewhat afraid of the golem’s size.

He then heard some growling that made him feel a chill on his spine, he looked up and as he expected the Beartic was at the edge of the cliff. Fortunately he seemed to be either too tired to pursue him or not confident enough to try and fight with a Golurk when it was so tired and soon wandered out of view, probably going back to sleep.

“It left. It actually left.” he said while being in a state of pure shock “That was so scary…” he looked down and sighing in relief, soon shivering again as another cold wind hit him. He then felt something pat him on the head gently; he looked back at the source, the Golurk, and gave a little smile “Hey, thanks again, I don’t know if I would’ve survived the fall without you.”

The expressionless nature of the Golurk made it pretty hard to tell what it was feeling; Alex could only hear it make some Pokémon noises that he couldn’t understand so it didn’t help in the least. It was then that he remembered what he was even there for: capturing a Pokémon. There was a Golurk right in front of him and those were big and strong, not only that, but he also seemed to be very nice desoute how huge it was. Alex looked at his hand and saw the Pokéball, which he had forgotten about it until now but even then he kept a tight grip on it this entire time, he looked back at the golem.

“Hey, do you want to be my friend?” he asked, rather timidly, before remembering that Golurk weren’t the most expressive of Pokémon “Do this if yes,” he then gave the Golurk a thumbs-up “Or this if no.” he then did a thumbs-down.

It took a few seconds, either because the Golurk didn’t understand or maybe it was thinking about it, but eventually it gave a thumbs-up, much to Alex’s delight.

“Yes!” he fist-pumped “We’re going to be best friends!” he then hugged the Golurk’s leg, of which he couldn’t even reach the knee.

Alex then felt some slight pressure behind him and soon realized that it was one of the Golurk’s hands gently pressing him against his leg, as if to hug him back. As soon as the boy let go of his leg, it did the same to him.

He took a few steps back and looked up at the Golurk and noticed that he was looking towards the city “Do you want to go to the city?” he curiously asked, tilting his head slightly.

The Golurk looked at him and answered with a thumbs-up, much to Alex’s amusement as he let out a few chuckles in reaction to it “Well… I can bring you there! You helped me, so it’s only fair, right?”

There was only silence between Alex and the Golurk, with no reaction whatsoever from the latter, this forced Alex to simply assume he was wondering how he would do that.

“See this?” he showed it his Pokéball “I can carry you everywhere in this, so you’ll be able to walk around the city without problems if you follow me around, and I promise I won’t keep you in there too often!”

No response again. It was starting to get quite awkward, probably for both sides of that conversation.

Alex rubbed the back of his head with an awkward expression on his face “So… What do you say? Do you wanna come home with me?”

Finally, the Golurk reacted with another thumbs-up, prompting Alex to give a wide smile and offer his hand for a handshake “My name is Alex, I dunno if it matters to you, but I just wanna be polite.” it then came into mind that maybe he didn’t know what a handshake was “… So let’s shake hands! Or… Well… Your hand is too big for mine, so… I guess one finger will do!”

It then offered its index finger for the handshake, which Alex gladly accepted with a smile. Due to how much stronger the Golurk was, though, it actually managed to lift Alex off the ground, much to his surprise.

“You’re really strong, and big!” he said, in awe. He then shows the Pokéball again “So, see the little button in this thing? You just gotta press it and you’ll be my new partner, okay?”

The Golurk leans closer a bit to look at the Pokéball and touches the button on the center with one of his massive fingers, the Pokéball then opened and sucked the Golurk into it while converting him into energy. Once he was inside the Pokéball began shaking and Alex dropped it to the ground, it shaked once… twice… thrice… then stopped with the sound of a click soon following.

“I did it! I have a Pokémon now!” said Alex as he did a little happy dance in celebration “I can’t wait to see dad’s face when he sees it!” he then picked the Pokéball up “But first…”

He then sends the Golurk back out of the Pokéball, it then proceeds to look around in confusion as being inside a Pokéball was probably quite a new and strange experience for it.

“Sooo…. Come on! Let’s go home!” said Alex, smiling cheerfully.

He then starts making his way back home, taking a few steps ahead and then waiting to see if the Golurk was following him and indeed he was. While walking back home, Alex noticed that the Golurk seemed to be quite impressed by the city, judging by how it was looking all over the place; it was a bit funny, but at the same time kinda nice and made the boy wonder just how long he had wanted to make the city a visit.

The trip back was no less cold, Alex had actually been so focused on the Golurk before that he didn’t even feel the cold, but now it came back with a vengeance and left the boy shivering a lot and sneezing a few times, he had to get back home fast before he ended up getting a cold or worse.

Eventually they arrived. Alex’s house wasn’t anything special, especially since at night you couldn’t even see the painting in the walls correctly. What did draw Alex’s attention though was the fact that the lights were on.

“Oh man… Dad must’ve woken up…” said Alex, shivering again, but this time it wasn’t due to the cold, at least for the most part.

As if on cue, the loud noise of someone barging out of the house echoes around as a young adult wearing Minccino pajamas and a young teenager with glasses made their way outside, the former being Alex’s father, and the latter being Alex’s brother. Both of them seemed to be in a hurry and very worried, though they soon spotted Alex after they left the house, their worried expressions being replaced by angry frowns.

“Alex! What are you doing…” inquired his father, only then noticing the giant next to his son “… With a Golurk?!” he asked, in a tone that was a mix of anger and confusion.

“Uh… Hey, dad, bro! I caught a Golurk!” said Alex, waving at the duo while looking as unconcerned as possible, despite being very afraid of what his father was going to do with him now.

Both of them blinked in disbelief “… What?!” they yelled at him.

Alex began rubbing the back of his neck, things were getting out of hand very quickly; not that he ever had any control over the situation to begin with “Um… Yeah! I did it! Honest!”

They looked at each other for a moment, his dad sighed and brought his hand up to his forehead, slapping it softly and leaving his hand on it, while his brother sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“All the other kids try to bring home a stray Lillipup or Purrloin or maybe even a Shelmet, but not mine. He had to bring a Golurk home, of all things!” complained his father, his tone of the voice sounding quite tired.

Alex didn’t know how to react to that, so he just kept rubbing the back of his neck and looked up at the Golurk, the poor thing must’ve been so confused, so much that it pretty much didn’t move during the entire exchange. At least he was only a spectator that probably wouldn’t get itself in trouble for what happened, at worst he was going to be sent back to where they met.

“Let me get this straight, you left the house in the middle of a freezing night, way past your bedtime, just to catch a Pokémon? Not only that, but you somehow managed to get your hands on a Golurk?” asked his brother, though it seemed more like he wanted to convince himself that he wasn’t just dreaming the whole thing.

Alex just nodded bashfully, much to his father and brother’s displeasure as they sighed again. Fortunately neither of them knew he was attacked by a Beartic.

“Let’s not forget that he almost got himself killed by a Beartic.”

Alex’s eyes widened as he noticed that just next to Albert there was a small rodent-like yellow creature with his eyes closed as if it was meditating, an Abra, specifically his brother’s. Of course, as it was typical for him, he wasn’t going to let any of his mess ups to slide by unnoticed since he could not only read his mind, but talk to the others through telepathy, he did so quite casually this time to boot.

“Get out of my head!” yelled Alex, flailing his arms in a mix of panic and anger, which only ended up removing any doubts his father and brother could have about the Abra’s statement.

“You what?!” yelled his father, glaring at Alex so fiercely that the boy almost felt like that look alone was going to kill him, it was definitely the last straw “That’s it, you’re grounded for a week!”

Alex pretty much deflated at this point “Oh come on… Could I at least have some fun in the weekend?” he pleaded, in a desperate attempt to save his fun.

“You should quit while you’re ahead, it could be much worse than one week considering that you broke a number of household rules and almost got yourself killed in the process.” said his brother adjusting his glasses and shaking his head at Alex as he closed his eyes momentarily.

Defeated, Alex could only give a resigned sigh “Okay… But what are we going to do about him?” he pointed at the Golurk, who still hadn’t done anything but spectate.

“Hm? It’s male?” asked his father, looking surprised.

“Golurk don’t have genders.” answered the Abra, bluntly.

That was something that grabbed Alex’s attention, despite Golurk having no gender, he still unconsciously thought of the one he caught as male. There was nothing to make him decide it was male, it just felt right to address it like that. Nevertheless, his Golurk’s gender identity was the least of his problems at the time.

“Right, right…” his father then shook his head and looked at the clay golem “Well, we’ll decide what we’re going to do later when I’m less tired. Right now I just want you to return him to the Pokéball.”

“All right…” said Alex, then looking up at the Golurk “Do you mind staying in the Pokéball for a night, big guy?”

The Golurk looked at him and then gave him a thumbs-down, which was silly looking enough to cheer him up a little, or at the very least make him give a small smile. Alex then pointed the Pokéball at the Golurk and it fired a small red beam that touched the golem and converted it into the same kind of beam that then got sucked back into the Pokéball, just like last time.

“I think we should just release it already, Alex is too young to handle a Pokémon like a Golurk.” said his brother with a stoic expression that hid away almost all emotion, but his eyes gave a hint of worry.

“Aw, but I went through so much to capture him!” pleaded Alex, making the best sad expression he could manage in order to appeal to his father’s heart.

His father rubbed his head in annoyance “It’s too late for this stuff. You two just go to your beds and sleep. We’ll sort this out tomorrow.” he then let out a grunt.

Alex gave a small, hopeful smile as it least there was a chance he would be able to keep the Golurk. His brother, on the other hand, was far less happy, he frowned at Alex but then decided to just head back into the house as it was ordered by his father, thankfully not making things harder than they need to be, while his Abra simply teleported away in the blink of an eye.

“What are you waiting for?!” yelled his father, at the brink of losing his patience.

Alex’s jumped with the yell and bolted to the inside of his home, soon rushing past his brother and going to the second floor where the bedrooms were. Upon arriving on his room, he gave a tired sigh and didn’t even bother to change clothes to something more comfortable to sleep in, he simply fell flat into his bed and waited for sleep to arrive, which happened very quickly as he was already knocked out in less than a minute.

The boy was worried about what was going to happen the next day. The Golurk seemed to be really interested in the city, maybe it was the reason it went of the tower, he, or rather it, likely had been going in and out at night to look at it without getting too close; so he really wanted to show it around, but if he was forced to release it that likely wouldn’t happen. To make it worse, his efforts to catch a new Pokémon would be all in vain if that happened. As much it troubled him, he really needed to rest and be prepared for the worst.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

 

[Beth Pavell]

First review time!

Technical Accuracy/Style
I only spotted one spelling mistake there, and that looked like a typo so there's nothing wrong with your technical accuracy. Stylistically, it feels kinda breathless. Most of your sentences are very long - lots of commas, lots of clauses. Try sounding them out to yourself. If you find yourself wanting to come to a stop, generally that's where you could do with a full stop

Story
It's a decent place to start as far as the plot is concerned. I like that you're going outside the box when it comes to home town and starter without trying too hard to be unique. It would be nice to see Iccirus as the home town have more of an impact than just being near to a place to catch a Golurk, maybe taking a different path around the region. That being said, I do have some reservations. The summary suggests that Alex will start his journey at eight ... now, I can just suspend disbelief when it comes to a ten-year old or young teenager going on a journey, but eight ... I don't buy it. The other problem - which may not be a problem, depending on how you deal with it - is having a fully evolved starter.

Characters
Not the strongest here, but then I always allow for some leeway early on. You can't be expected to built fantastic characters in the space of a prologue. Golurk is rather amusingly written. It does come across as a Golem with its own slow thought-processes and I think that fits well

Final Thoughts
You've taken some risks in this, I reckon, but y'know not enough people do. Slice of life is a genre either done slapdash and lazily or not at all, and I like to see a new attempt at the genre

 

[FullMoon]

Ah, yes, I knew the formatting would have some issues since I'm not a native English speaker. I do seem to abuse commas quite a bit and I'll work on fixing that issue and making the sentences shorter.

As for the story, well, I'm going to address both of those issues as the story goes. I'm glad you liked the way I wrote Golurk though, it's pretty fun to write it's parts. I do plan to show more of Iccirus so it won't just feel like a convenient place to get a Golurk (I will admit that it was the reason I choose it to be the starting town though) and more like the place where Alex lives. I know I've taken some risks with this one, but I feel confident enough in my abilities to handle everything, hopefully I'll be right.

 

[Flaze]

I do have to agree with Pavell that an eight year old protagonist might be a bit of a stretch even for Pokemon, at least for a travelling trainer.

That being said, onto the review.

Technical Accuracy/Style:

There were a couple of grammar mistakes I caught onto during the chapter here and there but they weren't too bad. Much like Pavell said I do think you used commas a lot during the chapter and probably could've done well with more sentence breaks since a lot of them kept going for a bit too long. Another thin was the fact that the chapter itself didn't feel ver dynamic in a way. Like most of the chapter felt like you were just listing off events that happened one after another without describing things, I think the surroundings of the town could've had more description even if it was dark and aside from describing their clothes or accessories I don't think the characters got much description at all. Your style isn't bad though, it just needs some polishin.

Story:

Not much to cover here so far aside from what's already been said. I do find it unique that you decided to start in Iccirus, though I'd like to see a little more detail put into it for future chapters. The prologue was simple enough to accomplish its job and I did find the part with Golurk very interesting, it kind of reminded me of the Iron Giant in a way. There isn't much to say but I am interested to see where you'll take this.

Characters:

Again not much to say here. This being only the prologue there wasn't really much to grab out of the character's personalities yet aside from the fact that they're pretty basic. I did enjoy the Golurk though, I found it to be an interesting character and I guess Alex's character isn't so bad considering he's still just eight and the two do have good chemistry.

 

[The Dude]

Yeah, as Beth said, vary sentence length. It's okay to have some short sentences. Better than okay, it's often necessary. It makes the story hard to read when it's a bunch of run-on sentences. In a lot of places, you actually use more words than you need to.
For example:

That was something that grabbed Alex’s attention, despite Golurk having no gender, he still unconsciously thought of the one he caught as male. There was nothing to make him decide it was male, it just felt right to address it like that. Nevertheless, his Golurk’s gender identity was the least of his problems at the time.

In these three sentences, there's some fat. You could subtract "to address it like that" and "at the time", and lose nothing. There's a lot of bits like that throughout. But I'm not trying to be hard on you, and it's a less annoying tic than, say, purple prose, which ruins a lot of fics for me.

But you know what? You write better than a lot of native English speakers.
And I really do like that you open in Icirrus, and that the main character's first Pokemon might be Golurk, AKA one of the best Pokemon there is, design-wise and in terms of being The Coolest.

 

[Silverwynde]

Let's see what I can say here:

Plot- This is a bit different from the standard journey fic and I like that. We're not doing the "start in the starting town and get one of the three given Starters" thing which is a massive plus. We're starting in Icirrus City, which is nice and the fact that Alex was heading to the Dragonspiral Tower immediately hooked me. It's a change of pace that I really liked.

I do have a slight quibble with Alex's age, as eight is a tad young to go on a journey. However, his brand-new partner may not want to go traipsing around Unova so it might turn out okay.

Characters- There isn't a lot here, as this is a bit of a prologue but Alex seemed like a likable boy. He does seem to get in over his though, which might make for a decent character flaw. I can't say much about his father and brother, as they aren't really featured here. Alex's new Pokemon, however, is adorable. Well, in a gigantic silent golem sort of way. (Hey, it's a Golurk and that big fella is cute.)

Technical-There were a few switches between tenses--some sentences started in past and changed to present tense--but it didn't really detract from the story. The sentences were a bit long and needed to be broken up but that didn't detract from my enjoyment of this.


A couple of things:

Alex then felt some slight pressure behind him and soon realized that it was one of the Golurk’s hands gently pressing him against his leg, as if to hug him back.

Instant d'aaaaaaw on this. Seriously, that has got to be one of the cutest images I've had pop into my head. Nicely done.

“All the other kids try to bring home a stray Lillipup or Purrloin or maybe even a Shelmet, but no mine, he had to bring a Golurk home, of all things!”

This line cracked me up, I'll admit. It also made me feel a bit sorry for Alex's father; a small fuzzy Pokemon isn't a problem in a normal home. A Golurk however... Yeah, you won't have a roof to your house if he kicks his way out of the Ball. And I, like Alex, think of Golurk as male. Big fella kinda looks it, doesn't "he"?



Also, you had me at "Golurk". Please keep writing, as I must know what happens next.

 

[Umbramatic]

So, finally posting my review!

First, agreeing with the other reviewers that your run-on sentences and bits of grammar could use some work, and it would have probs been better to use a Golett instead of a Golurk.

That said, the various character interactions were adorable and hilarious. The characters aren't fleshed out yet, but they've got potential.

Looking forward to chapter 1!

 

[FullMoon]

Replies:

Spoiler

@Flaze: Well, I wouldn't say it's exactly something that didn't have precedence. I mean, isn't there a Fairy Tale Girl in the Kalos Victory Road? Those girls look like they could be even younger than Alex. Thanks for your review though. I did have the Iron Giant in mind when I wrote that chapter!

@The Dude: I do tend to use too many words to say little, I'll try to improve on that. You're not the first one to say that I'm a better writer than most native speakers, I can't help but feel a bit amused by that considering I have a rather limited vocabulary when it comes to English, or at least I think I do.

@Silverwynde: Glad you're enjoying Golurk, though I'm not entirely surprised by that =P. I can understand your issue with Alex's age, as well as the other's, but hopefully I can make things work in a believable way.

@Umbramatic: I think using a Golett would take away some of the problems that come with having a Golurk right off the bat, such as size and sheer power. I decided to give Alex a Golurk mainly because of the problems that would come with that and so he could find his way around those issues. A Golett would make things far easier and less interesting overall in my opinion.

Chapter 1: The Frigid City​

It was a Saturday when the Golurk that Alex befriended was sent out of the Pokéball and back into the world. It glanced around and saw that it was right outside the child’s home just like before, however it was already morning. The temperature was still low and there wasn’t much sunlight due to the cloudy weather, but it was obviously much brighter now.

“Hey, big guy!”

The familiar voice of the child made the golem stop looking around and focusing on the two figures in front of him. One was obviously the child from yesterday, Alex. Now that it wasn’t as dark it was much easier to notice the boy’s physical characteristics, such as his short brown hair, some of which was standing up, making it look like he had some sort of small antenna on his head; as well as black eyes. He was still wearing the same attire from the previous day and seemed to be tired since as soon as the Golurk looked at him, he proceeded to open his mouth and cover it with his mouth as he made a drowsy sound.

“I see you got one curious Golurk.”

The other figure was who seemed to be the child’s guardian. He had dark skin, unlike his child, and also had messy black hair; he did share the black eyes that his son had though. He seemed to have a more rough appearance, having some facial hair covering mostly his chin though it was very little. He seemed to have a strong body, especially when compared to Alex.

“Heeey! Are you spacing out?”

Hearing Alex again made the golem stop staring at them and noticed the boy waving his hand at it at a fast rate, not sure what to make of it or the question he had asked, the Golurk simply tried to copy the movement but with far less enthusiasm in the motion.

“Okay, you’re paying attention now.” Alex then turned to his parent “So, dad… What are we going to do about him? Err… it?”
Alex seemed to be having problems deciding what pronoun to use to refer to the golem. He seemed to want to refer to it with pronouns used for males, but the lack of gender in the species seemed to be an obstacle for that. The golem had no issue with being referred to as male; however passing down that message to the child would be quite the challenge as he was unable to understand it.

“Well… I have no idea.” answered his guardian or dad as he had been referred to. He rubbed the back of his neck while looking conflicted “I mean, you shouldn’t be allowed to have a Pokémon at this age, but you’re friends with it so… I don’t know.”

Alex grew determined upon noticing how indecisive his dad was being “Let me take care of him! I’m going to show you-“
Suddenly a new voice came out from behind the golem, halting the current discussion.

“Good morning!”

The Golurk turned around to spot another human child; this one seemed to be older than Alex and in fact seemed to be of the same age as the other human that was accompanying his dad yesterday. He had dark skin that was slightly darker than that of Alex’s dad and his hair was black just like his. One of his eyes was dark green, but the other seemed to be covered by some sort of white fabric which made it look like he had been badly hurt prior to his arrival.

“Oh, good morning, Henry.” said Alex’s dad, in a somewhat tired tone.

“Hey Henry! What’s up?” said Alex in a very energetic tone. None of them seemed to have anything to say about his covered eye, leaving the Golurk to assume they were already familiar with it.

“Not much…” answered the new boy, seemingly named Henry, who noticed the Golurk staring at him which prompted him to tilt his head a bit with a look of confusion “… Did you get a new Pokémon, Mr.Alfred? I didn’t know you had a Golurk.”

“It’s not mine. It’s Alex’s, sorta.” said Alex’s dad, whose name was apparently Alfred, his tone being a mix of tired and awkward.
Henry’s eye went wide as he gave the boy an intense look of disbelief for a moment before turning back to Alfred very quickly “Wait, Alex caught a wild Golurk?!”

Alex grew a very proud smile in response to Henry’s look “Yep! Isn’t that cool?”

Henry blinked a few times without speaking, then looked at Alfred with a very puzzled expression “Is that a good or bad thing?” he asked sincerely, the situation being so unusual for him that he was lost in terms of what to classify it as.

“A mix of both, I guess.” Alfred answered, his tone making it sound like even he wasn’t sure of what to think about the situation, further made evident by the way he momentarily raised his shoulders slightly

“I see. So…” Henry turned to Alex and proceeded to give him two thumbs-up “That’s really cool!” he said, sounding rather proud of the apparent feat, but then his hands spread open as his expression changes to utterly baffled “And what were you thinking?!”

Alex chuckled lightly as a abashed smile crept into his face, although if it was because of the praise or the complaint was something difficult to determine. He seemed to be a boy that didn’t know how to deal with praise and being prone to embarrassing himself. It was a surprisingly shy behavior for someone who seemed to be so agitated.

“So, what brings you here today, Henry? Looking for Alb?” asked Alfred in an attempt to change topics in order to avoid more confusion.

“Ah, yes. I was going to ask him to help me study.”

Alex raised an eyebrow in curiosity “Study? But I thought you didn’t go to school.”
Henry nodded “Yeah, that’s true. Mom doesn’t have the money to afford good education for me anymore and she didn’t want me to go to a public school. But I’ve been saving money so I could pay to do the test so I could get my trainer license.”

“I thought you were doing part-time jobs to help your mother pay the bills?” asked Alfred, slightly tilting his head as he now shared his son’s curiosity.

He nodded again “That’s part of it. Think about it, if I’m out on a journey it’s one less person for mom to spend money on. Besides, trainers do bet money against each other, so if I do well I could get some more money to help mom anyway.” he explained with a very optimistic intonation in his voice.

“That’s just like our mom does it isn’t it, dad? She gives some of the money she gets from battling to us, right?”

“Yeah. I kinda need it when there are two mouths to feed and both of them have a bottomless stomach.” Alfred answered, smiling playfully at Alex who reacted by simply looking away as if to hide his embarrassment. He then turned back at
Henry and addressed him with a serious tone “But my wife is a professional. You can’t expect to be that successful when you’re just starting out.”

Despite being presented with that reality, Henry was still keeping a cheery disposition “That’s true, but it doesn’t hurt to try does it?”

Alfred smiled back, pleased with his answer “You’re really serious about it. Well, Alb is still sleeping so I’m afraid you’re going to have to come back later.”

Henry looked surprised by it “It’s already pretty late in the morning, shouldn’t he be up by now?”

“Yes, he should. If it wasn’t for the fact that a little troublemaker had us wake up in a panic in the middle of the night yesterday because he decided to run away from home to catch a Pokémon.” he looked back at Alex who was still looking away from them.

“Hey! It worked didn’t it?” said Alex in an attempt to defend himself.

“It sure did.” said Henry, looking back at the Golurk and chuckling a bit before turning back to the others “So, what are you going to do about it? I mean, it’s not something that happens every day.”

“I dunno… Though I had a bit of an idea now.” said Alfred with a smile that seemed quite mischievous “Alex?” he called him in a similarly mischievous intonation

“Yeah?” he responded, at first being excited, but the tone his father addressed him with made his expression change to one of slight dread.

“You’re going to do the test for a trainer license as well. If you pass, I’ll let you keep the Golurk, if you don’t, we’re releasing it.” he explained while keeping the smile.

The Golurk knew how the relationship between humans and Pokémon typically worked, but being treated like some sort of domestic Pokémon was going to be something it would take some time to get used to. That is, if it was allowed to stay in the first place. That made the Golurk realize that it did end up bonding with the human boy, despite their short time together. Neither of them seemed to be very interested in being separated from each other

“Aren’t those tests supposed to be done after you’re at least ten years old? Alex is just eight.” questioned Henry.

“Younger kids are allowed to do it early in order to be allowed to train Pokémon, under supervision of course. They still wouldn’t be able to take part in any big events such as gym challenges until they’re older though. I would know, I’m a teacher after all.” he explained

“I have to do a test?!” exclaimed Alex, grimacing.

“Well? You brought this upon yourself. You wanted to become a trainer early and now you’ll have to prove you’re ready for it.” said Alfred with a taunting smile.

“That’s what they call tough love, I guess.” said Henry, chuckling a bit.

Alex just groaned. Tests didn’t look like something he was good with and coupled with the fact that he wasn’t even of the right age to do it, the odds were against the poor child. It was however very interesting for the Golurk to learn more about how things worked within human society, though it seemed that Henry was in a more unusual situation than the standard. His covered eye did pique the golem’s interest as well. The fact that Alex and his dad didn’t make any sort of comment meant it had been like that for some time already, making it wonder the story behind the injury.

“I’m going to give you one week to focus on studying for the test, so next Saturday you’ll have to wake up early for the test.” said Alfred

“I’m going to do a test at Saturday morning?!” said Alex, horrified “Dad! You’re evil!”

Henry seemed to be trying his best to not laugh at the comment and managed to restrain himself fairly well “We could do the test on the same day, to make it a bit less bad.” he suggested, giving the boy some degree of pity.

“That works. Thanks for coming, Henry, I don’t think I would’ve thought of that without you.” said Alfred, giving him a sly smile

The comment prompted Alex to glare at Henry. It was easy to tell that Alfred had intentionally placed some of the blame on him expecting his son to react like, as expected he probably knew exactly what to do to get the reaction he wanted from him. Being faced with the irritated glare of a little child, Henry could only avoid looking directly at him while at the same time looking rather amused by the whole situation. Looking away from Alex did result in him looking back at the Golurk though.

“So, have you thought of a name for your big friend here? We can’t just call it “Golurk” forever, right?” he asked, smiling

Alex’s apparent anger towards Henry seemed to fade in order to be replaced by a thoughtful expression as he absent-mindedly scratched the side of his cheek with one finger “I didn’t really think about it. This reminds me;” the boy then faced the golem curiously “Do you mind if I refer to you as a guy? Calling you an “it” just sound really weird and you look like a guy for me.”

It seemed like a good opportunity to clear all the confusion and make things less strange for Alex and maybe even the others now that the golem had been directly asked about his feelings about the subject. Being given a gender just like that seemed a bit odd in itself, but genderless beings were probably something humans weren’t used to deal with. After pondering about it for a few seconds, the Golurk responded by pointing his thumb down like Alex had taught him last night.

“A Golurk that responds by giving a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down. That’s… interesting.” said Henry, looking very amused.

“Alright! So you’re a guy now! Now I just need to think of a name…” Alex then began tapping his chin with his finger as he looked down, apparently to help him think.

“Is there even a point to nicknaming it… him, when you’re not even sure if he’ll stay with you?” asked Alfred, apparently struggling with the new choice of pronoun. He then glanced at Henry and seemed to notice something in his smile that the Golurk certainly didn’t.

“How about “Omega”? It sounds cool and even gender-neutral.” suggested Henry.

Alex took the name in consideration, even mumbling it to himself and his voice grew progressively louder as he did so “Omega… Omega… I like it! What do you think big guy?”
It did sound like a good name, the Golurk certainly didn’t have any issues with it as it, or he as it was now the case, probably wouldn’t be able to think of anything better. He let the name echo in his head for a bit to get used to its sound. After he was done, he gave Alex a thumbs-up, as Henry had called it.

“Man, you always take a while to answer things.” said Alex, looking rather amused “So, now you’re Omega, my big robot friend!” he cheerfully stated in a proud manner.

“At least until the day of the test.” said Alfred, promptly making Alex’s expression from cheerful to one of dread and tiredness

“You sure are good at killing the mood, Mr.Alfred.” said Henry, once again restraining himself from laughing.

Alfred then focused on Henry “Now that we’re done with that subject, are you going to wait for Alb to wake up, Henry?”

“Well, I don’t want to be a bother, so I think I’m just gonna go around the city a little and come back later. It’s still pretty early after all.”

That seemed to spark something in Alex as it looked like he had just remembered something “Oh! Can I go too? I promised Omega that I was going to show him around!”

“Isn’t someone forgetting that he’s grounded?” said Alfred in a stern tone.

“But… I promised! Come on, dad! I’m not even doing it for myself!” Alex begged.

Alfred thought about it for a moment, giving a quick glance to Henry. He sighed before addressing the boy.

“Hey, Henry, I don’t want to bother you with this but… Can you make sure this stubborn boy of mine only shows Omega the city instead of using it as an excuse to run around?” he asked, judging by his expression, he didn’t feel comfortable asking people favors like that.

Henry smiled cheerfully “Sure, Mr.Alfred. It’ll be no trouble.”

Alex then proceeded to a gesture that looked as if he was raising his arm with his fist clenched, then quickly bringing it down “Yes!” he said in a victorious tone.

Omega had almost forgotten about Alex’s promise. Considering all the problems he was facing due to previous events, the fact that he was still adamant about keeping his promised was something that the Golurk could admire. As the conversation between the humans had changed topics, Omega briefly glanced at the area around him, something that Henry was quick to notice.

“I see Omega is already excited about it. Come on, you two!”

Henry walked away, waving his hand at Alfred as he went. Alex seemed to do the same, so it likely was some gesture humans did to each other when parting ways. Seeing that, Omega waved his hand at Alfred as well in order to not come off as rude, much to the amusement of the man. He then followed Henry’s lead alongside Alex.

****************************************************

Looking at the city, most of the buildings were fairly small, most having at two floors at best. The city also seemed to be fairly small, with relatively few buildings and plenty of open space. Not many humans walking around, though that could be because of the time, though the humans that did pass by Alex, Henry and Omega mostly gave a curious look to the latter and some waved a hand at either of the human boys without directly talking to them. The boys themselves were silent as they walked, however Alex began talking softly to Henry, as if he didn’t want Omega to listen as the automaton was busy looking around the city.

“Hey, Henry… There’s not much for us to show him, I mean, we can’t get him inside buildings because he’s really big so we can only look at the houses and shops from outside. What should we do?” he spoke, wrongly assuming that Omega wasn’t listening.

Henry reacted by simply raising his shoulders slightly and very quickly. Omega couldn’t see his expression, but judging from Alex reaction of simply going back to walking quietly, it was clear that he didn’t know either. It seemed like the Golurk’s size was going to be quite the hindrance for their plans and unfortunately there wasn’t much that could be done about it.

Omega went back to looking at the layout of the city as they kept walking in a straight line. He noticed all of the buildings were made of wood and Alex’s was no exception. Human architecture was both interesting and impressive for the automaton as they were able to create places that looked comfortable and diverse enough that none of them looked alike, be it because of their structure or something as simple as their coloration. One of those buildings on the side of the path did catch the Golurk’s attention though, as it was far larger than the others as well as being much taller. That’s when Alex stopped walking and broke the silence.

“That’s my school!” he said as he pointed a finger towards it “I go there to learn more about how everything works and my dad works there by teaching us what he knows. My older brother studied there too! But he already graduated so he didn’t need to study there anymore. He’s still trying to find something to do though! He gave up on being a trainer a while ago.” he explained in an overly excited tone as he finally had something to talk about.

“I also used to study there, before things started to get more… Complicated.” said Henry, looking at the building with a hint of melancholy in his expression.

Henry didn’t seem to notice Alex quietly giving him a curious yet worried look as he was busy staring at the building while looking slightly downwards. The little boy then looked back at Omega.

“Uh… Today is a Saturday, so I don’t have to go to school, I don’t have to go on Sundays either!” he said, looking distracted by his thoughts momentarily before looking around “The nice thing is that there’s a little bakery nearby that me and my friends go to sometimes. It’s… There!”

He pointed towards another small building that had a sign above the entrance with something written on it that Omega couldn’t read. Looking back at his two guides, he noticed that Henry was still staring at the school building, seemingly deep in thought. Alex then interrupted him by tugging on the green fabric that covered his torso, bringing Henry back to reality.

“Hey, Henry! I didn’t have breakfast yet because dad wanted to talk to me about Omega, so can we buy something in the bakery for me to eat? Please?”

“Oh, well… Did you bring any money with you? We’re not going to get any of it for free.”

Alex looked rather disappointed as he shook his head. Henry then gave a small smile to the boy.

“Don’t worry, I have some with me, I can buy something for you.”

That news seemed to make Alex more cheerful, but it didn’t last long as he began to look reluctant.

“But you’re saving money to get your trainer license aren’t you? I don’t want to make you waste money like that, I mean… You made it sound like getting money was really important to you.”

Henry kept smiling, then bent down to get at Alex’s level and gave him a light tap on the shoulder “Hey, it’s not like you can’t pay me back later, right? If I’m right your dad gives a little allowance every week, right?”

“Uh… Yeah, but…” Alex then looked away from him and began rubbing his arm “… I was kinda saving it so I could buy a new game…”

Henry couldn’t help himself but chuckle “It’s bread. If buying some is going to hurt your wallet that much then I don’t think you’re getting that new game anytime soon.” he playfully smiled.
Seeing his point, Alex ended up smiling as well and looked at Henry again “Okay! I’ll pay you back later!” he said in a much more energetic and exaggeratedly determined tone.

“All right, let’s go then.”

Alex and Henry then got ready to cross to the other side of the path; they looked at both sides as if they were looking for something, prompting Omega, who as usual was only watching their interaction, to do the same in curiosity. They crossed over to the other side and made their way to the bakery, at which point Alex turned to face Omega.

“So, big guy, you’re too big to fit inside. Can you wait here while we buy some food?”

As usual, Omega responded with another thumbs-up. He himself didn’t need any food and considering how young Alex’s was it would be better for him to eat as much as he could so he could develop better.

“We won’t take too long.” reassured Henry.

They them went inside the bakery and in the meantime Omega just used that time to look around the scenery. There was still plenty of snow around; making the whole place look like it was covered in a white sheet that was very pretty to look at. The sky was still very cloudy, so it could begin snowing again at any moment.

As he patiently waited, Omega soon noticed a pair of human children that seemed to be about as old as Alex staring intently at him. They had likely just seen him and were curious like the other humans, but instead of just giving him a passing glance, they just stood there as if they were paralyzed. Judging by the fact that he could see their lips moving, they were likely talking to each other as well, but he couldn’t hear what they were talking about.
Deciding to ignore them as they weren’t doing anything of note, Omega went back to looking at the scenery as well as the humans that passed by occasionally. That, however, was soon interrupted by a new, female voice.

“Hey!”

Omega looked at the source of the voice and saw that it was one of the children that were staring at him just a few seconds ago. She had brown hair that had two “tails” one at each side of the head, her eyes were green and her skin was white. She was wearing similar fabric as Henry, except that the one covering the torso was orange and the one covering the legs was a light brown color. She looked very cute, all things considered.

“Are you lost, Mr… I-forgot-your-species? If you want I could bring you outside the city so you can find your way home!” she politely said, giving him a gentle smile.

Omega proceeded to kneel down in order to get slgightlycloser to her height, even though he still towered over her. She likely hadn’t seen Alex or Henry with him, so she must have assumed he was a Pokémon lost in the big city. He kneeled down so he could get closer to her level, though he was still much bigger than her, and saw that she seemed to be slightly nervous as he crouched, probably because she was afraid that he could hurt her. Trying to rectify that, Omega brought one hand closer to her to see how she would react. She looked a bit confused, but didn’t react much. Omega then started petting her gently, something that left the girl even more confused, though she also seemed to be more relaxed.

“Hey, Camille! I think it might want to make you his pet, you should get away from it!”
Hearing that, Omega stopped petting the girl and instead looked at the one that was further away. The one right in front of him seemed to be named Camille as she reacted to the call of one of the boys with an expression of annoyance as she turned around.

“It’s not going to hurt me, stupid!” she sighed and looked back to Omega “Sorry! My friend saw you standing here and he got scared thinking you were going to hurt us if we got close. You’re really nice though! And cute!” she then proceeded to wrap her arms around his leg, or at least as much as she could, affectionately just like Alex did previously and just like before Omega reacted by gently pressing her against his leg to repay the gesture.
Omega then heard the door of the bakery opening behind him with the chime of some bells located on it, soon followed by the sound of Alex and Henry talking.

“Aw, Henry! I just wanted one slice!” complained Alex.

“You can’t eat sweets this early in the morning, Alex, besides, I thought you only wanted some bread.” said Henry, followed by a sigh.

“Come on! One slice of cake isn’t going to kill me.” there was a pause before the boy started talking again “Hey, Omega. What are you doing kneeled like that?”
Omega then let go of Camille, got up and turned around to face Henry and Alex, the latter being eating a loaf of bread. He soon gulped down the bread he had in his mouth, looking rather curious as he seemed to notice something.

“Guys? What are all doing here?” he asked.

Camille then came out from behind Omega, standing by his side as she heard Alex.

“Hey Alex! Hey Henry! Do you guys know who this… Pokémon, belongs to?” she awkwardly asked as she waved a hand at them with a cheerful smile.

At this point the other child approached them. He had neat, short brown hair and black eyes. He looked as if he was in a state of perpetual curiousness and seemed to be shorter than all of the others. He also wore what seemed to be a pair of lenses in a black frame that rested on his nose and extended to his ears, it stood right in front of his eyes due to his ears and nose keeping it in place.

“Hey Alex!” said the new boy, with a cheerful smile.

“Hey Cammy, Tony!” said Alex, looking at the respective child as he mentioned their names “And… He’s my Pokémon!” he proudly announced.

Tony gave an amused smile of clear disbelief “Oh, come on, Alex. Something big and strong like that wouldn’t be bossed around by you.” said Tony, looking merely amused.

Camille, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow as if unsure of whether to believe Alex or not. Alex responded to the comment by folding his arm defensively.

“I’m not lying!” he said, sounding offended.

“Come on, kids. Let’s not start an argument.” interrupted Henry, drawing the attention of everyone “Good. Alex is not lying; he really did capture this Golurk here. It looks like they became friend pretty quickly!” he smiled.

The pair’s eyes widened with that and they looked at each other for a moment before glancing at Omega briefly. Camille’s expression looked both impressed and concerned, while Tom still held a curious expression, though he still seemed to be in a state of disbelief.

“Uh, wow. You really did aim big.” said Camille, looking unsure of what to make out of that.

“I don’t know if I should be happy for you or scared.” said Tony, with a more bashful, yet still curious expression

Henry seemed amused by their reactions, though he seemed to sympathize with Tony “I didn’t either.”

“How did that happen anyway?” asked Camille.

Alex had a proud expression since Henry confirmed his statement, but itsoon vanished as he was presented with the question. He was left looking rather hesitant to elaborate, though after giving a long sigh he began to talk. He began telling the story of what had happened last night, from him making his way to the Dragonspiral Tower to the moment Omega caught him in his hand once he fell down from the cliff after being attacked by a wild Beartic. He didn’t leave out a single detail, everything that had happened was still fresh in his mind and as a result recalling the events left him nervous.

“… And now dad wants me to do a test next Saturday to decide whether Omega will stay with me or not. I’ll be forced to study for it from this day on since I was grounded for what happened.” He ended his tale, sighing as he clearly wasn’t eager to start studying.

Camille had visibly flinched with the ending of the story “Ew, studying on a Saturday.”

“I didn’t know that was legal.” said Tony, sounding genuinely sincere.

Henry was both amused and rather fascinated by their reactions it looked like “That’s the most important thing? Really guys? Nothing about the fact that he was attacked by a Beartic?”

“Uh, right…” said Camille, her face turning slightly red as she realized her lack of priorities. It faded as she gave Alex a disgruntled look “You really can’t keep yourself out of trouble can’t you?”

Tony’s curious expression faltered, being replaced with, oddly enough, a look of guilt “Yeah… Stop doing crazy stuff like that. It’s bad for you and for us.” he seemed to be trying to avoid meeting Alex’s gaze, looking down slightly and holding the frame on his face by one of its legs, trying to adjust it.

Alex’s wanted to keep a light-hearted smile, but it was clear that he knew that what he did was bad and did regret it to some extent “Yeah, sorry guys. It was a bit stupid to try that.” he then glanced at Omega and seemed to cheer up before looking back at his friends “But hey, I still got to meet this guy here! That’s a plus, right?”

Camille then started inspecting Omega “Well, he is a pretty cute and nice Pokémon…”

“… Cute?” said Tony, giving Camille an odd look, his earlier curiousness returning.

“Didn’t you see how it started petting me and then hugged me back? He even took care to not hurt me! It doesn’t matter if he’s big and scary looking, he’s so sweet that he’s cute!” she proceeded to give a smile so large that it almost looked like the corners of her mouth would reach her ears.

Hearing that made the golem feel relieved. He figured most humans would be intimidated by his size alone and would be uncomfortable around him, but judging by the way Camille seemed to like him now, it at least meant he could change their opinions if they gave him a chance.

“I guess even a Pokémon standing at what, over three meters? Anyway, I guess even something like that can be cute for someone.” said Henry, pleased with Camille’s response.

“He was petting you?” Alex raised an eyebrow, then smiled mischievously “Maybe he wants to make you his pet!”

“That’s what I said!” said Tony, smiling back at Alex.

Camille’s expression the changed completely to one of intense annoyance “If you guys say that again, I’m going to shove that bread down your throat!” she gave them an intense glare, hands on her hips.

It was definitely not a good idea to provoke Camille, small and nice as she could be, she could certainly show a more intimidating side if provoked. Omega found some mild amusement as he saw Alex quickly start munching down his food, as if trying to get the “weapon” out of the enraged Camille’s reach as fast as he could, eventually finishing the whole thing as there wasn’t much left of it. Tom took a large step away from Camille just to be safe. It really seemed like she was the one who kept both boys under control. Even Henry seemed to be slightly disturbed with her reaction.

“Right. Uh… Try not to choke on that bread, Alex.” said Henry, noticing Alex’s frantic eating.

“So… Hey Alex! I got that new game you wanted! Wanna go to my house play?” asked Tony, trying to change the direction of the conversation.

Alex’s eyes went wide and he finished swallowing the bread in his mouth before replying “Sure! Let’s go!” he excitedly answered.

Alex was about to start running towards Tom’s house, which was apparently on the same way they were heading, but before he could get too far Omega grabbed him with one hand. He had seemingly forgotten about the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be doing anything other than showing the city for Omega. The Golurk stopped him less because of his own interests, but more because he didn’t want Alex to get even more problems with his dad or for Henry to get in similar problems for allowing him to run away like that.

“Alex, remember that your dad told me to not let you run off when you’re grounded. Sorry, but I’m not getting scolded because of you.” said Henry, he looked as if he really wanted to let the boy go, but unfortunately he couldn’t.

“Aww…” whimpered Alex, looking almost dispirited as he was still being held in place by Omega.

“Man, he can hold you with just one hand. Scary…” said Tony, looking rather intimidated, even shivering a bit, though that could also be due to the temperature.

“Guess we know now who’s the boss between you two!” said Camille, with a smug, taunting smile.

Omega then let go of Alex, who proceeded to fold his arms at Camille but said nothing, lacking a rebuttal. He did look upset, though it left some doubt about if it was towards Camille for her comment or towards Omega for prompting the comment in the first place. Alex seemed to be easily hurt when others ridicularized him the way Camille did. The girl herself seemed to notice the hints of slight resentment and seemed to regret her comment, though she didn't say anything either.

“Well, I think we’ve been here for a little too long. We still have to show more of the city for Omega, right Alex?” asked Henry, smiling.

“Oh, so that’s what you’re doing? That’s really nice of you two!" said Camille, seemingly back to her cheerful attitude “All right, let’s go, Tony!” she turned to the short boy, who just nodded in response “See you later, Alex!”

The duo waved their hands at them before walking past them and eventually getting out of sight upon turning left into another road.

“Well, let’s keep going on ahead.” said Henry.

They then began walking ahead and went in a different direction than Camille and Tony, Omega following right behind them. As they kept going, Henry and Alex began explaining things to Omega in a similar vein to the way Alex did in regards to his school. They began explaining them about many different things, such as how traffic worked and talked about the many types of shops spread around the city, such as clothes shops and supermarkets. It was interesting to learn just how complex the life of the humans were when compared to the simplistic life of other Pokémon. Alex and Henry tried their best to explain, though some of the things looked like they were such common knowledge that they struggled to come up with a way to explain what some things were or how they worked. They still tried though and Omega was very grateful for their efforts.

About an hour had passed by the time they returned to Alex’s house. Both boys were looking very tired of the small journey around the city they had done, Alex in particular looked like he wouldn’t last much longer if they were to do any more walking.

“Finally, we’re back home. I’m exhausted…” said Alex, giving a tired sigh.

“Yeah, that was a lot of walking.” he soon gave Alex a playful smile “Don’t relax yet though, as soon as we step in we’re going to start studying for the big test.”
Alex’s eyes became wide-opened for a moment, with his expression becoming far more tired almost immediately afterwards “Oh come oooooon… Did you really need to remind me of that, Henry?” he gave another, much longer sigh.

Henry chuckled, then turned to face Omega “So, did you enjoy the trip, Omega? You sure made us walk a bit.” he smiled

Omega once again replied with a thumbs-up. He then noticed Alex glancing at the door to the house’s interior, then at him.

“Well, you sure aren’t going to fit through this door. So…” he then pulled the Pokéball out of the pocket of his pants “I’m going to put you back inside this thing. I guess even you could use some rest after all this walking around. Lucky you for not having to study.” he smiled playfully.

Omega didn’t really need to rest, not that he bothered trying to tell that to the little boy. Not wanting to inconvenience them any further, he quietly agreed with what Alex was saying. He was more than satisfied with what they had done that day and was grateful for all the effort Alex and Henry put into helping him understand the workings of human society, even if for them they had only explained basic things.

Alex then made the Pokéball shoot the familiar red light at Omega again, converting him into that same energy that was soon pulled back into the ball, where he would patiently wait for the next time he was released from there.

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I'm not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out, but, well... I tried, I guess. Hopefully this addresses some of the issues you guys had with the writing and the story in a general way.

 

[Beth Pavell]

I wasn't expecting this chapter to end up being published quite so soon

Technical Accuracy/Style
The chapter needs another run-through. Most of the mistakes aren't more than typos and formatting errors - missing full stops, the odd missing comma, that sort of thing. You do use the word "seemed" an awful lot though. I think in part it's due to the viewpoint character being Golurk. If you end up using Golurk's viewpoint a lot then you're going to keep running into the problem that it's often guessing what's going on - I think at some point you're either going to have to ignore the issue or pick Golurk's viewpoint for more of the action scenes rather than dialogue-heavy scenes.

Story
I think it's a bit overstuffed. There's a lot of space given over to Golurk being introduced to human society but the description is kind of vague. Don't be afraid to paint a picture with moments like that - we know that Golurk is curious, so it wouldn't be out of place to describe apparently simple things like houses in greater detail. I'm assuming - and hoping - that the new characters introduced will continue to be relevant for a good while longer, else it'll be much ado about nothing in introducing them here

Characters
Omega's going somewhere. I like that you've given him a bemused, easy-going sort of nature - it's a cliché for this sort of dynamic with the small child, but you've written it with a light touch and made it work. I'm finding that most of the other characters are kind of blurring together in my mind. They have more or less the same kind of speech patterns and mannerisms

Final Thoughts
As I recall you're not a native English speaker - this isn't a bad effort at all for a non-native speaker. Yes, you could do with tightening up the accuracy - you'd be surprised what people will forgive if it's technical accurate - but the issues with style I think will improve with practice

 

[FullMoon]

Writing everything through Omega's eyes was a bit of a challenge I imposed on myself. I thought the idea of writing everything from the perspective of somebody who doesn't know how anything works in our society would be good, though I'm well-aware that the execution was lacking. I have a major issue when it comes to description of any kind and that really held me back when writing. I also noticed how I spammed "seemed" through the story, it's a bit of a bad habit of mine in general that I need to work around.

I likely will re-write this chapter so it does what it was intended to do properly, once I get a better hang of descriptions in general. Character-wise, I'm glad you're enjoying Omega for all the mistakes I've made during this chapter. The other characters all have some involvement with the story, though the extent of it varies, so you shouldn't have to worry about them showing up once only to never be addressed again and essentially become living filler.

As for English, it's all self-taught. I did have some classes about the language and I still do, but they aren't of much help. I pretty much taught myself how to speak English, which is the reason I'm not very good with the more technical side of the language. I'm hoping to improve on that, but... Well, bear with me until I manage to.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Self-taught? I'm a little impressed. I think you'll get better, just keep reading and practising

 

[Flaze]

Like Beth Pavell mentioned your grammar got better in this chapter though it still needs some more work to be put to it. On that note I think you need to be more descriptive in regards to the scenarios just so that we can get a clearer picture of where the characters live in exactly.

There's also the matter of the characters, I mean none of them really jump out at me and they all basically read the same but with slight differences, the fact that we focus on Golurk's pov mainly also makes it a bit harder to understand the other characters so for now I think you should switch to Alex for a bit. But again, I think that mainly you should focus on giving your characters more distinctive personalities.

The story itself still seems pretty interesting, Golurk is a good Pokemon and goes well with Alex since he's so hot blooded. I do like the fact that Alex has to take a test before he can go on a proper journey which I think was a nice touch.

 

[Sike Saner]

Oh gosh. Okay, Omega? Is seriously adorable. I have something of a weak spot for gentle giants, as well as for newbies/tourists in human society. And how about that--the big guy hits both marks at once.

I don't know how much of a focus the story will have on him, but from what I've seen so far, I certainly hope the answer is "plenty".