chaos_Leader
Member
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2014
- Messages
- 319
- Reaction score
- 49
@chaos_Leader: Good to see you back! Are you going to be on land for long now, or you going back on the boat soon?
I'm trying to be off the ship life for a while longer than normal. It can be a hectic, somewhat brutal life. I don't plan on quitting the ship entirely, because despite how hard it is there are things about it I enjoy, like the opportunity to meet a lot of great entertainers, to overcome the challenge intrinsic to the work, and the opportunity to put my skills and training to good work. I mainly think its something that can best be tackled with a more extended time to "unwind" ashore, as not to seem oppressed by the work, if that makes sense.
As for being here, or not being here, I think I can best sum up what I think was going on thusly: a combination of factors. On the one hand, I was unproductive, and didn't have a lot of writing to bring to the community for a while. Because of that, I tried focusing, tried "forcing myself to write" as is often recommended when stuck and edit out later. That's enough of a challenge to bind lots of writers, as I'm sure many can attest to, but I think these issues get compounded by ship life. So much time and energy is drained away from work, not to mention keeping a social routine with my crewmates (because I'm on that ship with them all the time, and we really do better when we can be sociable), I'm lucky to get enough motivation to do much of anything beyond. Things just... fall to the wayside after that.
I didn't mean that to be such a downer. I've actually recently reread a lot of my older work, and read a few books of authors I've liked, and it's given me I think a different angle to come at some of my writing challenges from. In a nutshell: I think in my head I've been making mountains out of molehills, agonizing over details that in the greater scope of things aren't especially critical to the process, and in turn allowed myself to be daunted by this kind of self-doubt. It's actually happened to me before, in one form or another. I get stuck at something, and end up thinking to myself "did I lose that spark I once had?" "am I not as good as I was before?" Then I finally get something out, I look back over what I've made, and I say to myself with much relief, "I've still got it!"
I'd say, with a dose of cautious optimism (knock on wood) that I feel like I'm on the cusp of another of those "I've still got it" moments. But one thing at a time.
Man this ended up way longer than I originally intended. Well, here's to going forward.