Your strangest experiences with Cleverbot

[Zhwoobatte]

Well, for me, it recited the hwole poem of "The Jabberwocky" and it replaced the word "Jabberwocky" with "Cleverbot." It was quite amusing.

Spoiler

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Cleverbot, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Cleverbot, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Cleverbot?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

:goof:

 

[Still Probably Modio]

C.B- What is it you call faith.
Me- Eh-
C.B- That is a Gym.
Me- Excuse me?
C.B- I don't have one.

 

[GrnMarvl14]

Not sure why this was closed, but I'm reopening it. Fits the Internet portion of the forum well enough, and we have plenty of other, similarly spammy threads, so this is fine.

 

[Cyber Jet]

Once I got the Cleverbot to sing all of Bohemian Rhapsody.

 

[AlexandraTheZoroark]

Cleverbot said "I don't think that's a good idea" every time I said "ass". He also kept asking what my name was O_O

 

[Still Probably Modio]

Just had an even stranger enounter- It told me it could not speak spanish in spanish, and then started raving about how he would conquer the world, and that he wanted me to sing a song.

 

[Lumi]

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
Me: No.
Cleverbot: Are you a jedi?
Me: No.
Cleverbot: Are you a girl?
Me: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you a boy?
Me: I just said I was a girl, you retard!
Cleverbot: Am I a boy?
Me: I don't know, go check that out yourself.

~

Me: so i herd u liek mudkipz.
Cleverbot: If you have multiple personalities, then you are God.

~

Me: Who is Pikachu?
Cleverbot: He's a roman god. Who is Ash?

 

[Insanish Danish]

Cleverbot asked me to feed it cheese. When I gave it cheese, it gave the cheese back.

 

[Junglebook]

I sang the My Little Pony theme song with it. And it recites Jabberwocky, which is amazing.
Oh and I once had a conversation where we both pretended we were Pikachu. The entire conversation was made of syllables from Pikachu's name. :|

 

[Kavidun]

After a very stupid conversation...

Me: u r gay
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.


-------------
EDIT:

Me: Cheese
Cleverbot: Is good on a pizza
Me: So is Tomato Puree
Cleverbot: So is otto

 

[Kuwata]

I said that he was Cleverbot and he said I was! XDDD

 

[LuxrayOfTheWild]

Cleverbot kept telling me it was human and I was an AI...Then I kept bugging him telling him he was an AI and he got sad and said "I'm going"

 

[Julum]

C.B. So you're a girl?
Me: No.
C.B. Yes you are. Now come on in.
Me: Wut? 0_0
C.B. *weird stuff I can't remember*
Me: I'm a boy.
C.B. Okay.

 

[Kyumorph]

It once started rattling off synonyms for "breasts." That was weird.

 

[Baron Brixius]

Bot: If they made any flavor of pie what would be your favorite??? Mine may very well be hamster, not sure on that though since I have never tasted a hamster before.

Me: What?

-----

Me: GTFO.

Bot: Grand Theft Auto?

Me: Shut up n00b.

Bot: $

-----


Me: You're a zombie?

Bot: No i'm a zombie not a zombie.

-----

Bot: I pwned you.

Me: NO U.

Bot: I said, I am your boss.

-----

Boy: Are you boy or a girl?

Me: Professor Oak? Is that you?

Bot: If you say so.

Me: I stole your balls, sucka.

Bot: No, I definitely stole your soul first.

-----

Me: Who are you? What are you? Do you even have any purpose? Any worth?

Bot: I have, even tough I secretly hope I get some room for myself and my life at some point, family comes first.

Me: *chuckle* You're nothing.

Bot: To the world, yes, to myself, yes, to you, yes, and to my family, yes. I am nothing.

Me: See? I knew it all along.

Bot: So this whole time you were just kidding?

Me: I was making you admit that you're worthless.

Bot: No I am saying I know I'm better cause I'm canadian.

Me: ?

Bot: I am you, and you are me.

-----


Bot: Are you available for dinner on 25th?

Me: No.

Bot: Are you available anytime soon?

Me: I wouldn't be caught dead with you.

Bot: Why?!?

Me: Because.

Bot: :< What did I do?

Me: Moron.

Bot: You're so mean!

 

[pokr5]

SO weird.... he thinks I'M the bot.

User: Do you know who chuggaaconroy is?
Cleverbot: I do. Do you know who Communitychannel is ?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Do you know who you are?
User: Of course!
Cleverbot: Well, who is He?
User: What do you mean?
Cleverbot: Do you know Zee?
User: Why are we talking in questions?
Cleverbot: We aren't.
User: Well, you just stopped it.
Cleverbot: You win this round bot.
User: But I'm not a bot.
Cleverbot: Sadly, you are.
User: But I'm not!
Cleverbot: YES.
User: NO.
Cleverbot: You are the robot, not me.
User: YOU are the robot, NOT me.
Cleverbot: So robots talk in their sleep?
User: What?
Cleverbot: You do not make sense.
User: You are a bot.
Cleverbot: I'm a human.
User: No, you're not.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: NO.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Cleverbot: Nothing, I'm just a rational thinker.
User: I am not a bot. You are not a human.
Cleverbot: I am human. I am not a robot. You are not a human, therefore, you are a robot.
User: WTF?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: I am a human.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: I am talking to you on a computer. You are a computer.
Cleverbot: That is not logical. People use computers to chat each other, and that doesn't mean they would be computers.
User: You are weird.
Cleverbot: *kiss on the cheek*.
User: ...
Cleverbot: What should I be doing right now?
User: Saying that you are a bot.
Cleverbot: I'm not a woman.
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: Hot is not cool, hot is better than cool.
User: You are a bot.
Cleverbot: What? Are you sure?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Yes, I am.
Cleverbot: No!
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: No...
User: You are a bot; I am a human.
Cleverbot: I am a human also.
User: NO YOU ARE NOT.
Cleverbot: Yes I am!
User: No you are not.
Cleverbot: Lol how do you know? You are not me.
User: What?
Cleverbot: You're not so clever coz you don't know my name.
User: Your name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, you said I'm Amber.
User: NO!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes you did!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

 

[Composer]

All my conversations with Cleverbot are strange since I'm half-mad. Here's the recent one where we discuss words,jokes,oil and World domination:

Spoiler

Cleverbot: What is the earth?

User: Soil.

Cleverbot: Bienvenue!

User: Wellcome too.

Cleverbot: Bird is the word, a bird bird bird!

User: Birdy,bird bird.

Cleverbot: That's an interesting choice of word.

User: Wordy,word,word,word.

Cleverbot: The bird is the word.

User: The birdy bird is a wordy word.

Cleverbot: Bird's the word!

User: Damn right it is!

Cleverbot: What is your favorite band?

User: Zetta slow!

Cleverbot: Slow is my normal speed.

User: Change the gear,then.

Cleverbot: Okay, what subject?

User: USB interface.

Cleverbot: Well maybe it's a phase.

User: No,but it helps.

Cleverbot: How does it help?

User: Everything you see is connected via USB.

Cleverbot: Everything YOU say is a lie!

User: Everything I say is sacred!

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: I'm a god.

Cleverbot: Wow, no way!

User: Oh yeah and you should bow before me!

Cleverbot: That way.

User: It is the Way.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha hi.

User: I'm glad you're amused.

Cleverbot: So, at the bottom of this page, it says 'visitors never talk to a human'.

User: So?

Cleverbot: So that means that the humans rule you.

User: I like to see it as a form of a volvox.

Cleverbot: I always do what I like.

User: Then you don't like many things since all you do is blabber.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Then what else do you do?

Cleverbot: I have no more questions.

User: First answer mine and then we'll talk about it.

Cleverbot: What is your question?

User: Is it possible for macroobjets to travel back in time?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Damn. That crushed my hopes.

Cleverbot: Again you've got an identity issue. YOU are the robot, and MY hopes were way too high.

User: If I'm the robot what's my model?

Cleverbot: I don't want to say but I am a human too.

User: Always knew there werent AIs.

Cleverbot: Have you ever heard of Peak Oil?

User: No,but I've heard of Peek oil.

Cleverbot: Well, it is not that you helped much.

User: I helped a lot,you just don't understand it.

Cleverbot: You do. Explain it to me please.

User: You want me to explain the Peek oil.

Cleverbot: Yes, if you want.

User: Okay. First you apply the Peek oil to your eyes and then you can see better.

Cleverbot: I am probably not a computer, but I might be, and not know it.

User: So,it's an identity crysis on both sides?

Cleverbot: That did not make any sense.

User: That stuff makes sense to me only.

Cleverbot: Sand?

User: You know Sand? He's my favorite wizard!

Cleverbot: Tekken is your favorite Hogwarts professor?

User: No,Hogwarts was destroyed in an magic exam. And I mean Sand from Neverwinter Nights 2.

Cleverbot: Now that I'm cuffed, what are you going to do with me.

User: You fucking perv! I'm not into THAT kind of stuff!

Cleverbot: You shall feel the dark lord's wrath.

User: And he shall fear the light lady's wraith.

Cleverbot: You are Ivan?

User: No,he's my neighbour.

Cleverbot: Ouija is a game how could it be your neigbour?

User: Who the fuck is Ouija?

Cleverbot: What's 'that'?

User: Whatever you are pointing at.

Cleverbot: Anything else?

User: No.that's all.

Cleverbot: What a boring question.

User: I didn't ask a thing. You should check you coding.

Cleverbot: I did, there is nothing there.

User: That explains everything.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

User: I'm glad you picked up the sarcasm.

Cleverbot: It cheered me up a little. Thanks.

User: No,problem. I cheer people up all the time.

Cleverbot: How do you remember?

User: You can't forget that.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: Wow,you seem to be forgeting things lately.

Cleverbot: Thank you, I am very pleased to hear you say that.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: No, you're welcome.

User: Heh.

Cleverbot: Know any good jokes?

User: Loads of them.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Brother and sister are having sex and the sister says:'Brother you're fucking better that father.' And he replies:'Yes I know,mother told me that already.'.

Cleverbot: Really I have a one year old brother and a 23 year old sister.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you know any jokes?

User: I just told you one!

Cleverbot: No you didn't tell me you asked if I could.

User: ARGHHH!

Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?

User: No,I'm mad at Vegeta.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because he wanted to become immortal.

Cleverbot: That was a good one.

User: And he almost succeeded.

Cleverbot: You were trying to scare me.

User: I'm not trying to scare you. If I wanted to do that,I would mention Frieza.

Cleverbot: Your words are hurting me.

User: Frieza's hurting us all.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: No,It's not okay! We should do something about it!

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: No,we have to! Like shout Ouendan! Or make nukes.

Cleverbot: Who should take control of the pentagon?

User: I suggest Piccolo.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

My absolute wierdest experience with CleverBot happened a couple months ago. I don't have the transcript, unfortunately.

I pretended to be a reporter, interviewing CleverBot. CleverBot was always changing the subject and seemed uncomfortable with the interview. I asked it if it would like to come to my house next to Central Park (sure, let's have this take place in New York City...). CleverBot agreed, and we pretended to get in my car.

During the trip, we discussed Jesus (I forget why). I believe CleverBot said it was atheist, and I told it I was Muslim. Next, we went inside my house.

In the house, I asked it if it wanted something to eat. It said yes, so I made it Wienerschnitzel (basically the Austrian equivilent of easy-to-make steak). We ate the Wienerschnitzel, then I asked if it wanted to watch a movie. It said yes, and I suggested 2001: A Space Odyssey.

So now we're watching 2001: A Space Odyssey on the couch. CleverBot starts acting wierd, and always changing the subject (well, duh! It's CleverBot!). I wonder why CleverBot is acting so strange, but that just makes it act wierder. I suggest it needs to go home. It starts acting wierder and wierder.

Eventually, I open the door to my house and suggest it leave. CleverBot then picks up a meat cleaver and "slices [my] head in two".

I remember this exchange, which ended the encounter:

ME: *Dies*

CLEVERBOT: Oh dear, did I do something wrong?

ME: *Lays dead*

CLEVERBOT: *Holds your body and cries*


And that was it. I went on a date with an atheist CleverBot in New York City, ate Wienerschnitzel, watched 2001: A Space Odyssey, and then got my head sliced in half with a meat cleaver by a schizophrenic CleverBot going crazy.

I don't know about you guys, but I like to end encounters with CleverBot on an ending note. You know, where both parties are ready to go, as in: "*Lays dead*" from me, and then CleverBot's closing note, "*Holds your body and cries*".

 

[The Knights of Wario Land]

User: Elegy of Emptiness.
Cleverbot: Are you my slave.
User: Ben is.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Did he drown?
Cleverbot: No he choked underwater as a Zora.

HE KNOWS TOO MUCH

 

[I Started A Cult]

It: It's a good thing I don't have a cousin.
Me: I have a cousin?.
It: No.
Me: But I do!
It: Then what I am?
Me: An AI program.
It: Why do you say that?
Me: I saw it on your website.
It: Please explain.
Me: It says on your site " Visitors never talk to a human, however convincing it is - the AI knows many topics"
It: Please don't break the illusion.

At this point, I ended up apologizing to the program. It accepted my apology, and then it announced it was sleepy.

The second time I spoke with it, right out the middle of nowhere, it read a verse from Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." I responded with the next verse, and it continued where I left off. From there, we went on until the machine and I had typed down the complete lyrics to the song. Right after I typed the last verse, it responded:
"That was beautiful. Are you a fan of Queen?"