EVERYONE: Yu-Gi-Oh! Temporal Memories

[UselessBytes]

Hey everyone! It feels like forever since I posted actual, honest to god fanfiction. But, since this is non pokemon, I'd like to preface it with a quick thing. As this story focuses on Children's Card Games Yu-Gi-Oh!, or as it's called in most Yu-Gi-Oh! media, duel monsters, you're much more likely to enjoy this fic if you know the basics of the game. It's not a prerequisite, and you can still enjoy the story without knowing anything about Yu-Gi-Oh! and will most likely pick up the gist of the rules along the way, but if you have three minutes to spare, I'll have a very quick video linked that just covers the absolute basics of how the card game works! Hope you enjoy reading!

Spoiler: How to play Yu-Gi-Oh! in 3 Minutes, By Cimoooo

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55gsu3_36Fs

Table of Contents

Part 1 - Nightmares
Prologue - Card Tricks
Chapter 1 - A Fishy Situation

 

[UselessBytes]

“Current stop, Jubaline Central. Next stop, North Aster Street.”

Selena stepped off of the subway car as the robotic announcement crackled through the speakers by the door. The artificial breeze that drifted through the underground station made her shiver as she pushed her way into the crowd, headed towards the equally packed pair of escalators. She glanced at her phone, checking the time as she navigated through the swarms of people. 4:25. She’d be late if she didn’t pick up the pace, she realized.

Selena squinted as the escalator brought her out of the dim atmosphere of the subway station and into the afternoon sun. It had been unbelievably hot recently, and today was no exception, Selena thought. She scanned the signs tacked to the sides of buildings and hanging from posts on the sidewalk as she made her way away from the subway station. She didn’t visit this part of the city much, and found she was a little out of her element. Every sign was loud and colorful, advertising everything from cheap cards to high price real estate deals. It was a total sensory overload, and Selena almost missed the very sign she was looking for.

It was much smaller and simpler than every other advertisement she’d seen. It was a white cardboard arrow, with blocky text that read “Jubaline Newspaper Offices”. It pointed off towards a small, two story building, much plainer than the other buildings lining the street. A similar sign hung on the glass door, still swaying slightly from the last time the door had been opened. Selena frowned. Was this really the building? She double checked the address in her phone and the metal numbers affixed to the side of the building and confirmed that, yes, it really was.

Regardless of how it looks, Selena thought, she still needed this internship. She walked up to the door and pulled it open, recoiling at the blast of freezing air that flooded out. She composed herself and headed inside, slightly intimidated by the plain white walls and lack of decoration. As the hall opened up into a small reception room, Selena noticed a small woman sitting at a desk in the corner of the room. A receptionist, she realized. The woman looked up at her, a bored expression on her face.

“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked dryly. Her gaze quickly swept up and down Selena, assessing her in a single moment.

“Um, I’m here for the internship interviews? Selena Weeks?” Selena, replied, a tad nervous. The woman’s eyes were like daggers.

The receptionist glanced at her laptop screen and tapped at a few keys. “Hm, so you are. Mr. Nance is a little behind schedule today, so it might be a minute. Take a seat.” She gestured to a row of plain looking chairs lined up against the wall, and then turned back to her laptop, preoccupied with whatever she’d been working on prior to Selena’s arrival.

Selena sat down, and as she did so became acutely aware that she stuck out to a tremendous degree. The room around her was mostly grays and whites, and the receptionist was dressed in the same colors. It was a very professional and modern look, with every detail in just the right place. Selena thought back to the receptionist’s quick visual rundown of her, and suddenly was self-conscious about every possible thing. What had the woman been looking at? Was her skirt too short? Was her blouse wrinkled? Was the purple streak in her hair too childish? All sorts of questions raced in as her anxiety quickly grew. Selena forced herself to take a deep breath and slowed her racing thoughts. She looked fine, she assured herself. She was just overwhelmed and nervous.

A quiet ding from the reception desk caught Selena’s attention. The receptionist met her gaze as she looked over and gestured to the door behind her. “Mr. Nance is ready for the interview. Best of luck.”

The receptionist’s words don’t match her tone of voice, Selena thought as she headed towards the door. She took one last deep breath in an attempt to further calm her nerves, and then pulled the door open.

* * *​

Selena scrolled past yet another tweet about the Jubaline Dueling League finals as she sipped at her milkshake. It was thin and kind of watery, and quite frankly not very good at all. So much for a feel-better treat, she thought. Dear god, that interview had gone horribly. She cringed as she remembered the interviewer’s rather pained look as she stumbled through his questions. Just thinking about it left her embarrassed.

“So much for your big chance to get some real experience, Selena…” she muttered to herself. The newspaper hadn’t rejected her yet, but Selena possibly see how they wouldn’t. She took another sip of her milkshake and made a face. She didn’t know why she was still drinking it.

She got up from the slightly grimy booth she’d been sitting at and went to toss the half empty Styrofoam cup. She looked at her phone as she did so, checking the time. 7:00. She decided that she’d better get home before it got too dark.

Selena found that the signs for the restaurants and businesses around her had already lit up as she stepped onto the street. The setting sun tinted the sky orange, and the hum of neon and the low sounds of bustling people signaled the approach of the evening rush coming soon. Knowing that the subway would soon be crowed, Selena started to make her way towards the station.

Mostly ignoring the ambient sounds of the city’s early night life, Selena wove her way through the tight spiderweb of streets, picking out the streets she remembered coming down in an effort to get back to the subway station. It took her until she no longer recognized any of the buildings around her to realize she was hopelessly lost.

“Figures. Couldn’t let something go right today, after all,” Selena said sarcastically. She pulled out her phone and tried to locate the subway station on its map, but found the signal was weak, and nothing would load. “It’s really not my day…”

Selena kept walking, hoping that either she’d stumble across the station, or find a spot with better cell service. Yet, as she made her way deeper into the maze of streets and buildings, she began to recognize even less than before. The signs no longer bore familiar street names, and nothing in the immediate area resembled what little of the area surrounding the subway station that she’d seen. Her hand gravitated towards her purse, ready to grab her deck and duel disk. The total lack of familiarity and the growing darkness made her anxious.

The creaking of a door made Selena flinch and shove her hand into her purse. She was still for a moment until the sudden fear subsided, and the ambient sounds of the city assuaged her anxiety. Selena took a deep breath to calm herself, but took out her duel disk regardless. Better safe than sorry, she thought. She slipped the small device onto her wrist, and then her deck into the device itself. The screen flashed blue, letting her know that her deck was loaded and recognized, ready to duel at a moment’s notice. The gentle glow of the active duel disk offered her peace of mind, if only slightly.

Selena tensed up once again as a sharp chorus of cheers echoed towards her from a small side street to her left. The gentle lull of conversation drew her attention, and she wondered how she didn’t notice it before. Her nerves told her that she should walk the other way, that avoiding strangers was the best move, but her mind told her that they were her best chance of finding the subway station in any reasonable amount of time.

Swallowing her fear, Selena decided to take the risk. It would be better to chance asking a stranger now rather than an hour later, when it was even darker. She approached the street and quickly turned the corner, subconsciously preparing to duel for her own safety.

Selena let out a sigh of relief as she caught sight of a group of children who looked about middle school age gathered around a young man who seemed as if he couldn’t be much older than her. The kids were laughing and talking amongst themselves as the young man shuffled what looked to be his deck.

The young man was laughing alongside the children as the bombarded him with a mixture of questions and praise. Was he a street performer? His hair was spiky and blond, with streaks of blue through it, so he definitely looked the part. It reminded her of her own purple highlight.

The young man quickly caught sight of Selena and smiled, waving her over. He seemed friendly enough, she figured. She walked over to him and the children, still slightly cautious.

“Why, hello there, Miss! You look like you could use some help,” he said with a smile. Selena smiled back. His expression was infectious.

“Yeah, I can’t find the subway,” Selena admitted sheepishly. The young man smiled even brighter.

“Well, that’s an easy problem to solve! It’s a little far from here, though. I’d be happy to walk you there,” he offered, slipping the deck in his hand into his belt. He turned to the children he’d been surrounded by a moment before. “That’s all for today, guys. It’s getting late, so you all better get home soon, so your parents don’t yell at me any more than they already have,” he said, laughing. The kids all let out varying degrees of “Will do!” and headed towards the street Selena had just come from.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Selena said. She was still slightly wary of the young man, but after seeing him with the children, she was doubtful that he was out to harm her. He certainly seemed nice enough.

The young man smiled again as they started walking. “No problem, I’m glad to help. My name’s Yuji.”

“I’m Selena.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Selena,” Yuji said. “You new around here? Or do you just not know this part of the city well?”

Selena sighed. “A little bit of both. I live just outside of Jubaline, but I just came here for school last semester. I’ve been trying my best, but I can’t wrap my head around the city. I get lost more often than I’d like to admit.”

Yuji chuckled. “That’s fine, Jubaline isn’t exactly easy to navigate. It took me forever to properly learn my way around. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Selena laughed as well. “I sure hope so. I’m not always gonna run into someone nice enough to drop everything and help me out, y’know?” She fiddled with her duel disk, which was still attached to her wrist. “Again, thanks for doing this.”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of the city soon enough. After all, I did, and I’m the kind of guy who still needs his phone for directions to the grocery store,” Yuji said.

Selena laughed again. “I wouldn’t expect a street performer to be the type of person to get lost easily.”

“That would be because I’m not a street performer,” Yuji said, laughing himself. “I can see why you’d think that, though. Those kids are from the dueling club at the middle school near here. I volunteer there and give them lessons from time to time. They kind of just fell in love with the card tricks too, I guess.”

“Wow, that’s really sweet of you,” Selena said. “My little sister has been begging me to teach her how to duel recently, but honestly, I’m not quite good enough to be a teacher. Maybe I’ll have to send her your way,” she joked.

“I’m sure you’d be a great teacher,” Yuji assured her. “After all, just about anything helps if she’s that eager to learn.”

Selena smiled. “Maybe I’ll give it a shot, then.”

Yuji smiled back at her. “You really should, I’m sure your little sister would love it!”

The pair turned one last corner and found themselves at the entrance to the subway station Selena had emerged from several hours ago. The streetlight illuminated the station’s schedule just enough for Selena to read it.

“All right, made it in time for the next train.” She turned to Yuji. “Thanks again for helping me out, I’m really grateful.”

“No problem. Although, would you mind doing me a favor real quick?” Yuji asked. “I need someone to let me try this card trick on them before I show it to the kids.”
“Sure, knock yourself out,” Selena said.

Yuji pulled out the deck he’d been shuffling earlier and fanned it out, offering to Selena. “Alright, you know the drill. Pick a card, memorize it, then put it back.”

Selena looked at the card she’d pulled. A spell card, she noted. And a rather unique one at that. She quickly memorized the card’s name and image, then slipped it back into Yuji’s hand.

“Thank you, miss!” Yuji declared as he began to shuffle. “Now, if you’ll reveal the top card of the deck for me,” he continued, holding the deck out to Selena.

Selena drew the top card. “It’s Fantasmic Boat Mouse,” She read.

“A good sign,” Yuji said. “Another, if you please.”

Selena drew another card. “Fantasmic Fairy Tale,” she read. “A trap.”

“Yet another good omen,” Yuji declared. “I’ve got a feeling this next card is yours.”

Selena smiled again and reached out to draw. If it really was her card, it would be a neat trick. Yet, just as she was about to draw, a shrill ring made her jump, breaking the relative quiet.

“Oh, whoops, that’s mine,” Yuji admitted, lowering the deck and fishing his phone out of his pocket. “One second, Selena.” He tapped at his phone and held it up to speak. “Hey, what’s up? Hm… Okay. I can be there in… ten minutes, maybe? I’ll be right over.” Yuji hung up the phone and slipped both it and his deck back into his pocket. “Apologies, Selena, but I’ll have to finish that trick another time. That call was pretty urgent. Hope you get home safe!” Yuji said, turning around and setting off at a quick jog.

“Oh, uh, okay! Thanks again!” Selena called after him. Strange. That call must have been really important, she figured. She wondered what was so urgent that he couldn’t take thirty seconds to finish his trick.

An electronic ding snapped her attention back to the subway station as she realized the train was about to leave. “Ah! Wait for me!” she said with a start hurrying down the steps. She glanced back as she did so, unable to get Yuji off her mind. What a strange guy, she thought. He was nice enough, though.

 

[UselessBytes]

“There she is, Yuji. She’s been frequenting this area recently, but only started moving out all this equipment today.” The voice crackling through the earpiece Yuji wore was low and tinged with static. The signal wasn’t great, but it was passable.

“What’s her name again? Something with an L?” Yuji asked as he slipped his duel disk onto his wrist. The perch he was hidden in was partially concealed by a mix of empty crates and drop cloths, allowing him to spy on the proceedings just below him. He’d been keeping an eye on the small warehouse for a few days now, but it had never been this active. It was rare for such a small worksite on the edge of Jubaline to be so busy. Men in nondescript gray jumpsuits funneled in and out of the building, bringing out boxes and tarp covered equipment. Yuji could’ve sworn they’d carted out more stuff than the building could physically hold.

“Yeah, it’s Lillie. She’s definitely got ties to the forced duels and harassment incidents that have been happening recently. Ideally, I’d like to check out what they’re taking away, but since we don’t technically have any real evidence that she’s behind the incidents, there’s not much we can do,” the voice explained. “Any way you can sneak a peek?”

Yuji frowned. “Probably not. The place is pretty packed, and there’s not a lot in the way of good cover aside from where I’m camped out now. I can see Lillie, though, so on the off chance she checks any of the boxes herself I might be able to get a look in.”

“Alright. Keep me posted, and try to stay of trouble. I’m gonna check in on Samuel.”

“Thanks, Sarah. I’ll let you know if anything goes south,” Yuji assured the voice as his earpiece beeped at him, signaling a disconnect. He glanced back over to where he’d seen Lillie. The tall woman’s sleek suit and perfectly silver hair struck a rather imposing figure, if Yuji was to be honest. He could tell that she was a duelist from the duel disk strapped to her wrist, but past that he was in the dark. Sarah hadn’t been able to get him any info on her dueling style or deck. If he ended up in a duel, he’d be going in blind.

Not that he minded. Yuji was pretty confident he could handle anything this Lillie could throw at him. Although, with any luck, he wouldn’t have to find out.

Yuji shifted around, trying to get a better view from his hiding spot. Lillie had left his field of vision, and the men with her had taken the crates away as well. He cursed. If he wanted any more info, he’d have to risk moving. Yuji slipped his deck into his duel disk and primed it for a duel. Just in case, he thought. Taking one last breath, he dashed out from where he was hiding, dropping a few feet onto the concrete and quickly diving behind another set of crates. He held still for a moment, waiting for a shout from one of the workers or a curious set of eyes to peer around the edge of the crate he was slumped against, but neither ever came. It seemed like he was clear.

Yuji stole a glance past the edge of his crate just in time to see one of the men in jumpsuits slam the rear doors of a truck, presumably with the crates they’d been moving inside. There were still a few waiting to be loaded onto another truck. Yuji double checked the area, seeing that there was no one else around. All the men were busy inside of the warehouse for the moment. Now was his chance to steal a look into one of the crates. Yuji started towards the unloaded crates, but froze when he heard the familiar shzwing! of a duel disk flaring to life.

“And just what do you think you’re doing, young man?”

Yuji cursed as he saw Lillie standing over him menacingly out of the corner of his eye. When did she get there? “Uh, would you believe me if I said I just stumbled in here?” Yuji took Lillie’s silence as an answer. “I guess not.” She had moved fast for someone in a suit. And quietly, too, Yuji noticed. He could afford to take notes.

“You’re going to tell me exactly who you are, and then you’re going to scram, kid. Is that clear?”

Yuji smirked, regaining his composure. “Sort of, I think you left out the part where we duel, though.” Yuji’s duel disk flared to life as the hardlight system inside of it materialized the twisted blade that served as a playing surface. “Care to settle this with some fun?” he asked.

Lillie rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I don’t have time for this. You’re with the DCA, aren’t you?”

Yuji shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe if you duel me…” he implied, trailing off.

Lillie groaned frustratedly. “Fine, kid. Be that way. I’m not going to be as gentle after I win. This is your last chance to just tell me who you are and what you’re doing.”

Yuji responded by pulling his five starting cards from his deck. Lillie, finally giving up and resigning herself to duel, did the same.

“You’re in some major trouble once this is over, kid,” Lillie said.

“If I lose, that is,” Yuji reminded her, goading her further.

“Let’s duel!” both duelists announced in unison.

* * *

​

“I can hear you breathin’… I can see you comin’… I can feel the wind, it’s blowin’ me around…”

Selena sang softly to herself as she sorted through the stack of cards in front of her. She’d left the boy she met earlier, Yuji, not a few hours prior, but found herself already giving his teaching suggestion a try. She’d come home and almost immediately broken out the stash of cards that were squished in the back of her small closet and began searching for the right cards to help her teach her little sister.

“Yeah, Performapals are fun. Katie will think they’re cute, too.” She placed a few cards aside into a growing stack of cards she imagined her little sister would like. She glanced back at her own deck, which was sitting on the corner of her desk. She hadn’t actually dueled herself in quite some time. She’d need a refresher before she gave Katie any lessons.

Selena grabbed the stack of cards from her deck and searched through it, pulling out a particular card. “Crystron Citree…” She said softly. The card wasn’t a particularly special one, not like the custom designed decks most of the pros used. She’d just pulled it from a pack she’d opened a few years ago, and happened to like the card’s art. Her parents had bought her more cards for her birthday that year, most of them titled “Crystron” as well. It was just about the only deck she’d ever played. Not that she was any good, of course. Having years to learn a deck didn’t matter much if you could barely duel in the first place, Selena mused. She picked a few more cards out of her deck and laid them out.

“Crystron Citree can summon another Crystron monster from the graveyard…” she muttered, going over a combo that was vaguely familiar to her. She’d probably used it in her last duel, but she really couldn’t remember when that was. Three months ago? Four? She always carried her deck and duel disk on her for protection, but she was slightly aware than in her current state, she might as well carry around baseball cards. “I’m really lucky I ran into Yuji today,” Selena sighed. She picked up Crystron Citree and held it up in the air, laying back on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

“I really need to get my butt in gear, don’t I?” Selena asked herself. She knew the answer, of course. Dueling was a part of life, especially in Jubaline. It would definitely make things easier on her if she’d bother to practice every once and a while. “I have to go back into downtown tomorrow. If I see Yuji again, I’ll talk to him about it, I guess…” she muttered.

* * *

​

“Alright, I’m up first,” Yuji said. “I’ll start us off by summoning Fantasmic Winter Princess

LVL 4
LIGHT/Aqua/Pendulum/Effect
Scale 5
ATK/1900 DEF/1100

in attack mode!” he declared, placing a card onto the blade of his duel disk. As he did so, an elegant figure garbed in a dress of pale blues and whites appeared in a flash of white light. The beautiful princess bowed gracefully as she materialized onto the field.

“And now,” Yuji continued, “I set a card facedown and end my turn.” With another swipe of his hand, the image of a facedown card materialized at Yuji’s feet. “Your move, miss Lillie,” he said, bowing playfully, imitating the monster he had just summoned.

Lillie rolled her eyes and drew a card. “Could you stop playing around and just duel? I don’t have time for this.” She was very clearly annoyed. Yuji smirked. The more annoyed she got with him, the less focused she’d be on anything else, the actual duel included. Not that he didn’t enjoy embellishing his duels a tad regardless. “I summon AquaActress Guppy

LVL 2
WATER/Aqua/Effect
ATK/ 600 DEF/ 600

in attack position.” In a similar flash of light, a bright pink fish appeared in front of Lillie, swimming happily through the air. It wore a small hat and carried a little cane. Pretty adorable, if Yuji was being honest.

“Next,” Lillie declared, “I activate the field spell: Wetlands. My Guppy gains 1200 attack points as long as this card is in play.” The ground around Lillie and Yuji grew swampy and wet, with tall grass sprouting out of the concrete they were standing on. The attack point boost was concerning, but Lillie’s Guppy was still 100 attack points of Yuji’s Winter Princess. “And now I activate the continuous spell card: Aquarium Set. All of my AquaActresses get another 600 attack and defense points while this card is on the field. Now, AquaActress Guppy, attack this kid’s Fantasmic Winter Princess!” Lillie declared. Yuji cursed as he watched the deceptively cute fish’s attack points rise as it swam menacingly at his monster.

“Gah!” Yuji grunted as the fish slammed into his princess, destroying it and releasing a shockwave that nearly pushed him back and dropped his life points from 4000 to 3500.

“Your move,” Lillie said, bored. “Let’s get this over with.”

Yuji’s usual smile began to falter. “I draw!” he declared, doing his best not to let his surprise show. Lillie knew her way around a deck better than he’d realized. He’d assumed that she was the type to leave the dueling to her subordinates.

“I take my eyes off you for, what, ten minutes? I can’t believe you, Yuji! Didn’t I say to say out of trouble?” Sarah’s voice screeched over the earpiece as Yuji drew a card. He winced as the crackle of his earpiece flooded his head.

“You said ‘try” to stay out of trouble. I tried, promise, it just didn’t work out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Yuji explained.

“Oh, the middle of something? The middle of losing, more like. I can see your hand, you know. Your best option right now is a bluff. A bluff, Yuji,” Sarah said scathingly.

Yuji did his best to hide his grimace from Lillie as he looked at his hand. Sarah was right, he was in a bad situation. “I set a card face down, and then set a monster in defense,” Yuji said as two cards materialized on the field alongside the one he had set previously. With any luck, his bluff would delay Lillie long enough for him to draw into something useful. “It’s your move.”

Lillie snorted. “You really are all talk, aren’t you, kid? I draw,” Lillie said lazily, adding another card to her hand. “Thanks to Guppy’s special ability, I can summon my AquaActress Arowana

LVL 6
WATER/Aqua/Effect
ATK/2000 DEF/2000

without needing to tribute any monsters,” Lillie explained drily as she placed another card on her duel disk, materializing another fish, this one much larger than her Guppy and adorned with a feather boa. “Next, I activate the continuous spell card: Aquarium Lighting. When any of my AquaActresses battle one of your monsters, their attack points are doubled,” Lillie continued. “Destroy his facedown monster, Guppy!”

The pink fish once again rammed itself into Yuji’s side of the field, plowing through his facedown monster and destroying it. The faint image of a cartoon mouse with a sailor’s cap emerged from the destroyed card, but quickly faded away. Yuji’s smile faltered again. So much for his bluff.

“Now, AquaActress Arowana attacks you directly!” Lillie declared, pointing at Yuji. Her boa clad fish reared back and let loose a stream of bubbles at Yuji, who felt himself began to slip as the attack hit him full force and sent his life points plummeting to a mere 900. “One more of those and you’re done for, kid. Shame, I’ll admit I was actually starting to have fun,” Lillie mused.

Yuji regained his balance and put a hand on his deck. If this next draw wasn’t a good one, he would lose. “I draw!” he declared, pulling the card from his deck. He glanced at the card and smirked. “Think I’ll lose now, Sarah?” he teased.

“I’ve seen you screw up bigger,” Sarah replied, annoyed. “Just get this over with.”

Yuji held the card he drew out. “Since you have more monsters than me, I’m allowed to summon Fantasmic Bow Mouse

LVL 4
LIGHT/Beast/Tuner/Effect
ATK/1000 DEF/1000

from my hand!” he declared as a cartoonish mouse wearing a comically large bow appeared between him and Lillie’s AquaActresses. Lillie rolled her eyes.

“1000 attack. Big whoop. I’ll steamroll it next turn.”

“You won’t have the chance!” Yuji challenged. “I activate the trap card: Call of the Haunted!” One of the facedown cards at Yuji’s feet swung up, revealing itself as the trap he’d just activated. “I can summon one monster from my graveyard, and I think I’ll bring back Fantasmic Steamboat Mouse

LVL 4
LIGHT/Beast/Effect
ATK/ 1800 DEF/800

!” The cartoon mouse that had been destroyed previously rematerialized, waving as he did so. Yuji imitated it, waving back.

“So what?” Lillie asked. “Now you’ve got two monsters who can’t do anything.”

“Soon, I’ll only have one,” Yuji said, “and it’ll be enough to bring this duel to a close!” He smiled brightly as he raised another card into the air, before slamming it down onto his duel disk. “I tribute Fantasmic Bow Mouse and Fantasmic Steamboat Mouse to summon the monster that’s gonna win me this duel!” The two monsters on Yuji’s field shimmered briefly, then disappeared. Where they once stood materialized a trio of animals. A dog, a mouse, and a duck, all cartoonish and zany, dressed up in armor and armed with swords. “I summon Fantasmic Swordsman Trio

LVL 7
EARTH/Beast-Warrior/Effect
ATK/2600 DEF/2000

! This is the end for your little fishies, Lillie! Swordsman Trio, attack AquaActress Guppy!”

Lillie’s apathetic, annoyed grimace turned to one of concern. “Aquarium Lighting doubles Guppy’s attack points, so you’ll only end up hurting yourself! I’m just fine!”

Yuji shook his head. “Sorry miss, but when Swordsman Trio attacks, the effects of all spell and traps are negated until the end of the battle!”

Lillie’s eyes widened. “What? Wait-“

Before she could finish her sentence, the three animal swordsman slashed through her Guppy, dissolving it into a cloud of flashing dust.

“Now,” Yuji started, “I activate my other trap card!”

“What the hell, there’s more?” Lillie asked, still shielding herself from the shockwave released by her destroyed monster.

“That’s right! My trap, One-Two Punch, doubles any battle damage you take during this turn! And that means…”

Lillie’s heart sank as she realized. With her spells negated, Fantasmic Swordsman Trio had dealt her 2000 damage. Doubled, it would be 4000, every last one of her life points. She fell to the ground as the shockwave suddenly intensified and lifted her off her feet.

“Aghhh!” Lillie cried as she was thrown back and her life points dropped to zero.

Yuji smiled even bigger as he took another bow. “And that’s a wrap,” he declared, deactivating his duel disk and allowing the monsters still on the field to fade away. He glanced over to where the trucks he’d been eyeing were parked, but his smile faded as he saw the last one pulling away. The duel with Lillie had distracted him too long.

“I’ll admit it, I took you too lightly, kid. I suggest you mind your own business in the future, though. You won’t win next time,” Lillie lectured as she pulled herself off the ground and brushed the dust and dirt off her clothes.

“Lillie! What the hell are you doing?” A voice called. Both Yuji and Lillie looked towards the street to see a sleek black car pull up, a man with hair as silver as Lillie’s sitting behind the wheel. “Get over here! You weren’t supposed to be dueling!”

Lillie rolled her eyes and started towards the car. “Not like I had a choice.” She looked back at Yuji. “Remember what I said, kid. Stay out of this.”

With her final remark, Lillie slipped into the car. The man in the driver’s seat hit the gas the moment the door was closed, screaming off and leaving Yuji alone. He tapped at his earpiece.

“You get a look at that guy?” Yuji asked.

“Yeah,” Sarah replied. “Managed to snag a picture through your duel disk’s camera, too. It’s a little low quality, but with any luck we’ll be able to find his name. Do me a favor and check out the inside of the warehouse, just in case they left anything.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Yuji replied. “Although, I doubt they did, especially since they knew I’d be sticking around.”

Yuji walked over and leaned against the heavy metal door to the warehouse, but it refused to budge. “Man, this thing is heavy. They really didn’t want people getting in here, I guess.”

“They left it unlocked after they left, though. Makes me think they cleaned the place out,” Sarah said.

“Unfortunately, I think you’re right. Still worth a shot, though.” Yuji activated his duel disk again, and pulled a card out of his deck as the blade flared to life. “Let’s get some help,” Yuji said, placing the card onto his duel disk. The hardlight system in his duel disk let out a quiet hum as a large, beastly figure appeared in front of him, dressed in gray trousers and a deep purple cloak. “Fantasmic Kingly Beast, do me a favor and push that door open, please.”

The beast nodded and leaned into the door. The massive metal door creaked as it slowly swung open under Kingly Beast’s strength. When the door was open enough to squeeze through without too much trouble, Yuji deactivated his duel disk. He thanked his monster as it faded away, and then slipped into the warehouse.

It was dark inside the warehouse. Yuji fished his phone out of his pocket and turned on its flashlight, lighting up the small corner of the warehouse he was standing in. “Nothing here,” Yuji noted. “I’ll look around some and let you know if I find anything.”

“Alright, I’m switching back to Samuel’s channel. Get ahold of me if you find anything super important.”

“Will do,” Yuji assured Sarah, sweeping his flashlight around him, hoping to uncover something. The entire place had been picked clean. Yuji sighed. He doubted he’d uncover anything even close to worthwhile. As he looked around, he checked the time on his phone. 10:50. It was getting really late. “It’s been a busy day,” Yuji muttered to himself. He thought back to the girl he’d run into earlier in the day. What had been her name?

“Selena,” Yuji reminded himself. He hoped that she’d end up taking his advice. He was sure Selena’s sister would be ecstatic to learn from her older sibling. “I wonder what her deck looks like…” Yuji wondered. He pulled his own deck out of his duel disk and thumbed through it. He stopped at the card he would have pulled out to show Selena had he been able to finish his trick. It was a shame he hadn’t been able to finish it. He’d have to try it out on Sarah or Samuel instead.

“Found anything?” Sarah asked, her voice crackling through Yuji’s earpiece once again.

“No,” Yuji replied. “Looks like it’s been completely cleaned out, just like we thought.”

Sarah made a frustrated noise. “Ugh. We were so close, too. You can head out if you want. It’s getting late.”

Yuji chuckled. “Sure is. I think I’m gonna head home and get some sleep.”

 

[canisaries]

Hey there! I'm the one this story got assigned to for the Secret Santa, and I've read the two chapters out at the time of me posting this (prologue and chapter 1). Here are my thoughts.

Before I get to the story itself, I should mention that my knowledge of YGO is pretty limited. Basically my exposure boils down to watching the Abridged Series of the original anime and GX, and given how I didn't know even half the stuff explained in that video you linked, it's pretty little. It is true, though, that like you said, YGO knowledge isn't necessary to follow the story - I could do so just fine. However, I did get pretty confused about one element, but I'll get to that towards the end of this post. For now, I'll start by going through my notes chronologically.

Prologue

Selena stepped off of the subway car as the robotic announcement crackled through the speakers by the door. The artificial breeze that drifted through the underground station made her shiver as she pushed her way into the crowd, headed towards the equally packed pair of escalators. She glanced at her phone, checking the time as she navigated through the swarms of people. 4:25. She’d be late if she didn’t pick up the pace, she realized.

Selena squinted as the escalator brought her out of the dim atmosphere of the subway station and into the afternoon sun.

Nearly all of the sentences in this excerpt contain an as-structure, which makes it quite repetitive. If it's intentional and seeking to be rhetorical repetition, it doesn't really work either, as the sentences vary too much and it wouldn't have much reason to be there anyway. Elsewhere in the story, this would just be a brief moment of clunkiness, but I think it's especially important to rework here since these are almost the very first lines of the story and so contribute a whole lot to the first impression.

It had been unbelievably hot recently, and today was no exception, Selena thought.

Regardless of how it looks, Selena thought, she still needed this internship.

The receptionist’s words don’t match her tone of voice, Selena thought

There are a couple of spots like these in the prose where the viewpoint character will express an observation or opinion and the narration will confirm it through a dialogue tag. Thing is, with a viewpoint character this isn't necessary, as the story is already experienced through the lens of the character and the reader understands that subjective statements reflect the character's views. The dialogue tag is also omitted in some parts already, such as in this one:

Was he a street performer?

Now of course this doesn't mean you have to drop the dialogue tag approach entirely - I think it should just be more consistent. What I also think would help distinguish the two would be to italicize thoughts so that they don't catch the reader off guard. The tense in the thoughts should also be consistent, as now it seems to be changing between present and past. The second quote has the two in the same sentence.

The woman looked up at her, a bored expression on her face.

The woman’s eyes were like daggers.

Selena tensed up once again as a sharp chorus of cheers echoed towards her from a small side street to her left. The gentle lull of conversation drew her attention, and she wondered how she didn’t notice it before.

This is a smaller complaint, but there are places when the description seems to somewhat contradict itself. A bored face and a murderous look don't really mesh together, and a sharp cheer doesn't fit in with a gentle lull. Now it's totally possible and probably intended that the quality changes from the former to the latter, but it's not necessarily obvious. It would not only help clarify the chain of events but also to enrich it to describe these changes taking place, such as the laughter dying down to much quieter and gentler speech or the woman's stare getting increasingly aggressive.

Of course, as with most things, there's still a balance and I'm not saying you should write out every change that occurs, as that would likely slow down and bloat the narration as a whole - just parts where it's the most contrasting and the change isn't obvious.

She looked at her phone as she did so, checking the time. 7:00. She decided that she’d better get home before it got too dark.

Even smaller gripe: it may just be faster to put AM or PM after the time rather than establishing it in the following sentence or so. or use the superior 24 hour clock

Selena wove her way through the tight spiderweb of streets,

There are some really nice phrases of description in places, and this one caught my eye especially.

“Figures. Couldn’t let something go right today, after all,” Selena said sarcastically.

Usually the word "sarcastically" is redundant, and I think this is one of those cases.

The signs no longer bore familiar street names, and nothing in the immediate area resembled what little of the area surrounding the subway station that she’d seen.

Some sentences in the prose can get kind of long and hard to read. I think this one stuck out to me because "nothing in the immediate area" and "what little of the area surrounding the subway station that she'd seen" are both very long fragments to act as the subject and object. Also, I don't think that "that" should grammatically be there because the "what" already takes its role (compare "what little of the area she'd seen" vs. "the little area that she'd seen").

Mostly ignoring the ambient sounds of the city’s early night life,

She was still for a moment until the sudden fear subsided, and the ambient sounds of the city assuaged her anxiety.

One of these could be modified as they appear pretty close to one another in the text, so the repeat sticks out more. "noises of the city in the background" or just "noises of the city" would work just fine. The second quote also seems to somewhat say the same thing in both clauses (her fear is leaving).

It would be better to chance asking a stranger now rather than an hour later, when it was even darker.

I think it should be "would be" rather than "was", but I'm not sure.

“Well, nice to meet you, Selena,” Yuji said. “You new around here? Or do you just not know this part of the city well?”

Selena sighed. “A little bit of both. I live just outside of Jubaline, but I just came here for school last semester. I’ve been trying my best, but I can’t wrap my head around the city. I get lost more often than I’d like to admit.”

Yuji chuckled. “That’s fine, Jubaline isn’t exactly easy to navigate. It took me forever to properly learn my way around. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Selena laughed as well. “I sure hope so. I’m not always gonna run into someone nice enough to drop everything and help me out, y’know?” She fiddled with her duel disk, which was still attached to her wrist. “Again, thanks for doing this.”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of the city soon enough. After all, I did, and I’m the kind of guy who still needs his phone for directions to the grocery store,” Yuji said.

Selena laughed again. “I wouldn’t expect a street performer to be the type of person to get lost easily.”

“That would be because I’m not a street performer,” Yuji said, laughing himself. “I can see why you’d think that, though. Those kids are from the dueling club at the middle school near here. I volunteer there and give them lessons from time to time. They kind of just fell in love with the card tricks too, I guess.”

“Wow, that’s really sweet of you,” Selena said. “My little sister has been begging me to teach her how to duel recently, but honestly, I’m not quite good enough to be a teacher. Maybe I’ll have to send her your way,” she joked.

“I’m sure you’d be a great teacher,” Yuji assured her. “After all, just about anything helps if she’s that eager to learn.”

At this point I started noticing that there are a lot of dialogue tags, which also start coming off as pretty repetitive. Remember that in a conversation with only two people tags aren't often necessary outside the beginning and some midpoints as the two characters alternate and so we always know that when someone says something, the next line belongs to the other person unless specifically said otherwise. Additional actions like laughing do need to be mentioned, so those can be left alone, but remember that they too help confirm the identity of the speaker in the paragraph, so with those around there's even less need for explicit tags.

“No problem. Although, would you mind doing me a favor real quick?” Yuji asked. “I need someone to let me try this card trick on them before I show it to the kids.”
“Sure, knock yourself out,” Selena said.

Missing row change between these two paragraphs.

Selena drew the top card. “It’s Fantasmic Boat Mouse,” She read.

“A good sign,” Yuji said. “Another, if you please.”

Selena drew another card. “Fantasmic Fairy Tale,” she read. “A trap.”

Clever way to show what theme he has in his deck without specifically drawing attention to it, props!

Chapter 1

Men in nondescript gray jumpsuits

Nitpick, but I can't really think of a descript gray jumpsuit in the first place.

“Thanks, Sarah. I’ll let you know if anything goes south,” Yuji assured the voice as his earpiece beeped at him, signaling a disconnect.

How this sentence uses the as-structure makes it sound like Sarah hangs up on Yuji while he's still speaking, but Yuji doesn't have any kind of reaction implying that he would have been at the end of a rude act like that, so it seems like it's unintentional and instead the disconnect was meant to happen after he was done. In that case, some other structure ought to be used.

“And just what do you think you’re doing, young man?”

Most of the dialogue in this story is believable - maybe not the most natural I've read, but not explicitly unnatural - but some lines like this rubbed me the wrong way. This sounds much more like a mother scolding her young son after catching him sneaking to the candy cabinet in the middle of the night rather than a business(?)woman tied to illegal activities catching a stranger snooping around the warehouse she's been using for shady stuff. I would've expected her to open with something more like "what the hell are you doing, get the hell out, this is private property" (which doesn't even have to be true, just needs to be able to scare some punk kid away), especially if she's busy and doesn't want to be disturbed.

Yuji smirked, regaining his composure. “Sort of, I think you left out the part where we duel, though.” Yuji’s duel disk flared to life as the hardlight system inside of it materialized the twisted blade that served as a playing surface. “Care to settle this with some fun?” he asked.

Lillie rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I don’t have time for this. You’re with the DCA, aren’t you?”

Yuji shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe if you duel me…” he implied, trailing off.

Lillie groaned frustratedly. “Fine, kid. Be that way. I’m not going to be as gentle after I win. This is your last chance to just tell me who you are and what you’re doing.”

I know a battle needs to happen because it's YGO and the characters' decks need to be established and all, but this still comes off as pretty contrived. With the power Lillie has, there really doesn't seem to be a reason she can't get one of her mooks to throw him out and then later check if someone who looks similar works in the DCA, which I assume is some kind of law enforcement? If it's more secret, like an agency of some kind, then I can understand it more as employment wouldn't be public, but even in that case, I'd consider throwing the kid out at sight a better course of action since it could just be some random brat trying to mess with them and waste their time.

Yuji responded by pulling his five starting cards from his deck. Lillie, finally giving up and resigning herself to duel, did the same.

Now I'm definitely not the expert here, but shouldn't they shuffle their decks first?

“I can hear you breathin’… I can see you comin’… I can feel the wind, it’s blowin’ me around…”

Selena sang softly to herself

Not a critique but a suggestion: it might be fitting to italicize singing.

Selena sang softly to herself as she sorted through the stack of cards in front of her. She’d left the boy she met earlier, Yuji, not a few hours prior, but found herself already giving his teaching suggestion a try. She’d come home and almost immediately broken out the stash of cards that were squished in the back of her small closet and began searching for the right cards to help her teach her little sister.

“Yeah, Performapals are fun. Katie will think they’re cute, too.” She placed a few cards aside into a growing stack of cards she imagined her little sister would like. She glanced back at her own deck, which was sitting on the corner of her desk. She hadn’t actually dueled herself in quite some time. She’d need a refresher before she gave Katie any lessons.

Selena grabbed the stack of cards from her deck and searched through it, pulling out a particular card.

I really had to read this a couple of times to understand what goes where in this. It's probably because "stack of cards" and "deck" are used so much, but they don't all refer to the same object, but instead three separate ones in total? Also, "the stack of cards from her deck" implies a known stack of cards, but there's no specific known stack of cards that would be part of the deck other than the whole deck itself, in which case she would just be grabbing the whole deck.

It's also a pet peeve of mine to see characters talking by themselves aloud when they could simply just think it in narration, but some real people really do talk by themselves, and who am I to judge, we all do weird stuff.

“Crystron Citree…” She said softly.

“Lillie! What the hell are you doing?” A voice called.

Dialogue tags should start with uncapitalized letters here.

Lillie rolled her eyes and drew a card. “Could you stop playing around and just duel? I don’t have time for this.”

i mean she's kind of saying "could you stop playing around and instead continue playing around"

Didn’t I say to say out of trouble?

*stay

With her final remark, Lillie slipped into the car. The man in the driver’s seat hit the gas the moment the door was closed, screaming off and leaving Yuji alone. He tapped at his earpiece.

Screaming off...?

Also, that final "he" looks like it refers to the driver here, when it's actually Yuji. This whole paragraph actually seems to have three active agents when paragraphs usually have just one.

General Comments

So at the point where I'd finished the prologue and just started the first chapter, I was really caught off guard how the nature of the story changed. In the prologue, we follow a girl on her trip to the city. She has a job interview, it goes poorly, she gets herself something nice for comfort and ends up getting lost. She almost misses her train, but is helped by some nice guy he bumps into that likes doing card tricks. It's very light as stakes are low and there's not much conflict, and so it seems like the story will be some kind of slice of life, perhaps a romance given the chance encounter between two people and them hitting it off. It's the prologue, after all - and I did wonder why it's a prologue, as a slice of life really doesn't seem like it would warrant one unless there's some kind of special premise or gimmick that needs to be established. Either way, I wasn't sure why it wasn't just the first chapter.

Then I start the actual first chapter and turns out the helpful guy from before is some kind of undercover cop or spy looking into some sort of criminal organization or gang? It feels like a completely different story from what the prologue was implying. The only thing even pointing to this would be the abrupt phone call, and phone calls like that could be made for a plethora of reasons. Hell, I assumed something like his grandma having taken a tumble in the house and needing someone to help get her up, and that's why he rushed off. Can't keep grandma hanging just because of some card tricks. Never would I have guessed he's actually an agent. We do return to the slice-of-lifey stuff again with Selena in the middle, meaning that these indeed are the same story, but the prologue simply doesn't give any indication of this being a story with action elements.

That's why I think it'd be pretty important to change up the order of presenting these scenes or add something more to the prologue that strongly suggests it's not just a slice of life of regular teenagers / young adults in a world where Children's Card Games happen to be bigger and more advanced. You should put your strong stuff first to make a good first impression and show the proper identity of the story. Maybe have the battle be first and then do a short timeskip backwards to show the two characters meeting. Or you could show some of that "forced dueling / harassment" stuff going on, framing the world as more dangerous and having an ongoing conflict so that Selena walking on her own in a dark city alleyway has more danger to it.

Of course that's the long way round of doing things, though - simply having a synopsis in the author's notes would already do wonders, as otherwise readers are forced to read through the prologue to see what the story is about. They will likely get the same idea as I did, and if they share my disinterest for regular slice of life, they will simply leave before they can even find out there's more to the story.

Okay, so that was the first of the two major things on my mind, and now I'll get to the second, which is actually the thing I referred to at the beginning of the post. So what YGO element confused me?

It wasn't the battling itself, as I could follow it just fine. Even if the rules are hazy in the reader's mind or not there at all, the characters' reactions and explanations make it clear who's winning and what kind of trouble the losing party is in. You've done a good job with that. Someone might try to say that experienced duelists wouldn't need to explain their cards, but I've seen how many damn cards there are in the game and how complicated they can get, so it doesn't seem like a valid critique to me. Furthermore, the usage of hovers for card stats is genius as it's a very unintrusive way of giving clarifying information.

The aspect that confused me was how the dueling ties into the setting and world. The story makes it clear that dueling is very widespread and a considerable part of the population owns a Duel Disk, which allows the summoning of holographic monsters from Duel Monsters trading cards. This ties in with what I know of the series - mostly the original anime adaptation.

What I didn't understand is that somehow dueling works as self defense. Holograms are just holograms, right? I remember them being such in the anime, where duels became serious business only if Ancient Egyptian Magic was involved (Shadow Games, the Millennium Items, so on). But then I read on and find out that dueling not only produces shockwaves the duelists can be knocked over by, but the summoned monsters have mass and force that can even push open a heavy metal door. This means that anyone carrying a deck and Duel Disk is actually carrying a small army of superhuman monsters who could definitely beat people up badly and probably even kill them. It actually kind of resembles the problem Pokémon has in that children can just be given these deadly weapons (though arguably Pokémon is worse since they're animals and not what I'm guessing is pretty basic AI made to serve humans).

In the case of Pokémon, though, you first need to catch these monsters or adopt and raise them so that they actually do what you say, which takes a pretty long amount of time and lots of effort, making constructing a personal Pokémon army pretty difficult and not worthwhile. In this universe, it seems that the monsters are still roughly considered normal trading cards from an economical standpoint with the same kind of price and no background checks. So basically anyone with a Duel Disk and a deck would apparently be able to summon a giant robot warrior that could punch in an ATM and steal all the money within? There's a lot of abuse that could arise (and would, because people be people) from having power like this available to the common man.

But maybe you can't just tell your hologram monster to do whatever you want it to do. Maybe they have programming that prevents them from hurting people and property? Could be, but things can always be hacked. Then no summoning rules or Isaac Asimov's laws can stop you from committing acts of domestic terrorism. I would also say that a government would never allow its citizens to so freely acquire lethal power, but, well... Walmart guns. You get a pass there. Speaking of government, though, law enforcement would probably have to have their own Duel Disks. But are those also commercial? Could they be switched off by the company at will, letting the corporation violently take over the world with hologram technology only they have?

My questions are starting to get pretty wild, so I'll just stop here and get to the point. What kind of role dueling really plays in the world and what the rules relating to the holograms are is quite vague and not fully explained. It's a sport for fun, but also a legitimate form of self defense, but that self defense doesn't have to abide by the rules of the duel. If it did, it'd be useless against attackers that don't duel or refuse the follow the rules, and even if a proper duel is fought, the loser doesn't get incapacitated but mostly just falls down, it seems. In summary, the setting doesn't really make sense for someone outside YGO, and that will probably lower the chances of readership. If it doesn't make sense for someone familiar with YGO, then that's an even bigger problem.

To remedy this, the rules would have to be set pretty early and they'd have to be consistent. Not everything needs to be dumped out of the gate - it's likely enough to simply imply that there is a system and ruleset the story will get into later and that the reader won't be left hanging when it comes to getting their questions answered. To avoid exposition overload, consider adding smaller details to the environment.

For example, if Selena were to catch a glimpse of a patrolling policeman wielding a Duel Disk at some point, it would signal to the viewer that these monsters do have real power and there is regulation and order in regards to their usage. If she saw some people dueling in something like a batting cage but for duels, it would show that dueling is a popular sport and the threshold for entrance is quite low. A city has great potential for worldbuilding as it's a concentrated hub of activities people do and can show how order is upheld for a large group of people, a reflection of the entire population (provided it's not a specifically rich or poor neighborhood). It would also add more intrigue to the prologue, as the reader becomes interested in the world and how it differs from ours.

Okay, that's enough griping about children's card games. I'll wrap this review up (haha get it cause it's christmas) with a summary:

There is really nothing bad about the story or characters themselves, honestly. Almost all of the issues I had have to do with presentation, which is a big part of a story's experience, but not fundamental enough to be crippling or worse, unfixable. I really think this could be a solid start to a story if the conflict and nature of the story was established earlier through shuffling, addition and/or deletion of scenes, and the prose issues I mentioned were worked on to make it a more flowing reading experience.

That's it for my takes. Congratulations for making it through this wall of text, I hope it's helpful. Good luck with continuing on with the story, and happy holidays!