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[Drew strolls in like he hasn't been gone for a month.] ...Hey, I do have many chapters written. There was a crisis. And it wasn't related to Michael Jackson. :-) *** Chapter 4: Pepperoni Pizza “Hey, wait!” Larry said, vibrating; trying to wiggle out of Zack’s pocket. The boy...

To Barb: Thank you! Dialogue is my favorite part. I'm glad that I can have fun without making a mess. To King of Nidos: Thanks, man. And, welcome back! :-)

Re: Pokemon New Generation: a New Beginning (Now On Season 2) (Rated PG to PG-14) Good job. There are still some punctuation errors, especially some which have created some run-on sentences. I wouldn't think that many bodyguards could justify beating up a little kid. But I suppose that's what...

Yes, don't drop it. Once you've started something, you should finish it, or else you could go through a half-completed life. Ooh... That sounded corny.

Re: The Adventures of Gary Ketchum: Kanto- Volume One Have a nice vacation, buddy. :-) And don't keep giving us information like that. Don't you want evolutions to be a surprise? I understand that you're excited about your story (which is awesome), but sometimes you should keep things to yourself.

Don't feel bad, kid. Take the advice, improve, and write. I think it's great when kids want to write! We don't (or shouldn't) expect you to be a Shakespeare when you first start out. So don't be discouraged!

Re: The Adventures of Gary Ketchum: Kanto- Volume One Come on, buddy. That chapter was too rushed. We know you can do better than that. Also, Tracey's reaction to Oak's death doesn't seem real. People in his situation just don't act like that, unless there's something else that's also making...

Aww, Jabberwocky. Don't hate on the kid. The chapter does need lots of cleaning up, though. Can you fix it for us, sweetie?

Thanks, Legacy and Digichamp. I'll try. :-) *** Chapter 3: Flipping Pancakes Zack stared at the ceiling, trying to remember what happened. He found himself in a small, unfurnished hospital room. There was only a bed, an unplugged heart monitor, and a bedside table; the only light came from...

Re: The Adventures of Gary Ketchum: Kanto- Volume One Good job, kid. You're getting better.

Nice start, kid. You'll get better as you go, too. Your punctuation could use some work, though; and you seem to have a lot of run-on sentences. Don't make us cut through the forests of clauses! Also, for 10- and 11-year-old kids, they certainly have mouths on them. Keep it up! We'll be...

Thanks for your honesty, sweetie. And, of course, thanks for reading! I'm glad somebody appreciates my humor. (I'll probably update by the end of the week, but I'm not sure.)

A lot of people like stories like this: short chapters that you don't really have to get "into" to like it. It's nice for a first story, buddy. :-) Hmm... I think you should avoid prologues for this kind of story. Since you named the second part "Chapter 2," why not name the prologue Chapter 1...

Thanks for the criticism! Ohh, Cyprus is a DIFFERENT tree. I meant the "bald" one, so I'll fix that. Thanks! Something you might have missed, Barb... “Yes. Dr. Sivirichi equipped me with wheels. How else was I supposed to protect you?” Sorry if I didn't make that clear!

Chapter 2: Captain Jack Spearow Zack spat on the ground—not in a completely disrespectful manner, but in a playful display of his feelings for the ground on which he spat. “Take that, Pallet!” Zack shouted, pointing to the east. The treeless edge of Pallet Town was the half-way mark, and the...

Oooh, awesome! Scary, too. At "in a body bag," I could feel the fear! *major twinge* Some things I saw were a few silly redundancies. Here are a few examples: "He tried to struggle to break out of the shackles but had no luck." I suppose you didn't mean that he failed to struggle, did you...

Exciting! I like the idea. :-) That's funny how Blake went out of his way to mock the Team Galactic grunt's ridiculous hair style. (Blake is a sweet name, by the way: the cool-kid stereotype, along with "Chase.") Some advice, though. You seem to use this sentence structure too much: Subject |...

Darn it. This is why I don't trust the grammar check: Original: Anto sat down next to him, saying, “Come... Proposed Correction: Anto sat down next to him, saying, and “Come... Original: Zack asked, lowering his head and letting his Red Sox cap hide his disappointment. Correction: Comma use...

Okay! :-) I believe I started having 4,000 words, and then I got so scared that I edited it down to 2,000 or 3,000 words. Maybe I did too much? And I don't know what you mean by using the spell check... The only misspelling it said I had was (after adding Pokédex and Caterpie and whatnot)...

*shrinks back in fear* I'm sorry, I usually don't let people read my fiction. It's not Myrtle Beach. It's Myrtle Town-- you know, to go with the the color series of Kanto towns (Myrtle is a shade of green). The Yankees/Red Sox thing... Okay, I'm sorry 'bout that, too. This wasn't...