Time for your second prize review! My apologies for the delay on this one - some real life issues came up at the precisely wrong time, as they will. It seems you've had a lot of comments regarding your plot and characters, so this review is going to focus more on the technical and stylistic...
Guess what? I'm your Secret Santa. I'd intended to get this out before today, but one thing led to another. I'm going to start with the smaller points of technical accuracy and the like before moving on to the meat of the review.
Errant apostrophe there.
That semi-colon ought to be either...
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