Search results for query: *

It's been a while. Sorry. >.> Anyway, I remember thinking this was the best chapter of the fic to date. The description's solid, with pretty darn good examples of showing, not telling everywhere you look. Sarah's POV is still interesting, with her berating herself rather heartbreaking, and her...

CHAPTERS 3 AND 4 Again, I'm confused as to whether Sombra grew up in the wild or on the farm, as stated a couple paragraphs down. Now, if it was both, I'd suggest trying to clear up said timeline. How long did Sombra live in the wild, exactly, before she was taken in captivity to be given as a...

Okay, here we go. I'm going to separate this into two posts for clarity's sake. THIS POST: A chapter 1 review as part of a review exchange, and then chapter 5. Since a lot of this is essentially a re-review, I apologize in advance for anything I repeat from previous reviews. :P CHAPTER 1 I...

I'm going to forgo the mecha mechanical, worldbuilding stuff that chaos_Leader and Beth Pavell mentioned, since I agree and you don't really need a third person hitting you over the head with stuff you've probably already edited by now. I'll just say that I already knew beforehand you were...