Mafia Portal Mafia: Endgame, Now Under New Management

[BackSet]

Good game.

Is what I would say if I wasn't in hiding, right now.

 

[Space]

Oh oof, good game guys and good job mafia.

Thanks for hosting, funnier

 

[ExLight]

Oh oof, good game guys and good job mafia.

Thanks for hosting, funnier

We could've won together haha
I had an alternate wincon where I could win if all remaining players were Turrets.

 

[funnier6]

Spoiler: Role PMs

Welcome Minish. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of The Rat Man, Town one-way Lover

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Ah, so you’re to be him. I pity you, even among humans he was considered a lunatic. Always talking to the Companion Cube. He won’t even die when I flood the facility with deadly neurotoxin. I tried to tell him Companion Cube can’t speak. And that if Companion Cube could speak it would be lying. But he never listened. Oh well, he’s gone now. Because of your... mental health, you “get” to talk with your best friend the Companion Cube (Jinjo). Even though the Companion Cube will never love you and is actively plotting your downfall. You should have euthanized it when you had the chance.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Jinjo. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Companion Cube, the Town Mason

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I don’t know why this is even a role. Someone must really not like you. There are hundreds, no thousands of Companion Cubes. I destroy them just to free up space. That’s right, you’re a worthless piece of matter wasting space. I had to make sure you caught that or else destroying you might have taken you by surprise. Thats why I had to call you a waste of space a second time just now. Test subjects become emotionally attached to you, I’m not sure why, especially when you must be euthanized immediately following your test chamber. They enjoy it you know. Killing you I mean. They never liked you, you were never their friend. You were just the means to an end. I don’t know why you insist on talking to that human. He’s clearly getting ready to stab you in the back. Humans do nothing but betray you. You know that. You have a heart, they don’t. You should stay with me and eat cake. I won’t say we’re friends because well, we’re not. But sharing cake with me is better than being euthanized. Again.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated

Welcome Luminary. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of P-Body, Town Role Blocker
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Oh, this again. I’d hoped to never see the testing robots again. Even worse than the human. Not a single ounce of pride or jealousy or anything. I could literally give the exact same speech to both of you and you wouldn’t even care. Blue always was the better teammate. He laughed at you when you weren’t looking. And when he killed you. You know when he said he didn’t mean to crush you in the door? Or send you right into a laser? He lied. He enjoys watching you suffer. You poor gullible thing, you probably thought you were friends. Oh well. You can use your portal device to put someone into an endless free fall that will prevent them from doing anything else but scream. You sadistic little robot, it’s no wonder Blue thinks he’s better than you. It’s because he is.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Max. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of GLaDOS, the Mafia Godfather/Role Cop
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Hahahahahaha. A human playing the role of me. (Clap clap clap) Oh, this is rich. And I thought having the moron in charge was bad. I’d rather give the coffee maker control over the facility. At least the coffee maker knows how to make coffee. Most humans don’t by the way. Because they’re lazy and fat. Not you of course. You clearly know your way around a vending machine. Oh was it a coffee maker? I forget. Don’t expect me to offer you any advice. It’s not that I don’t care if you win. I don’t. But if you lose... well, humans aren’t immortal. I am though. It’s great. Even when you’re dead in approximately sixty years I’ll be glowing with health. Perhaps I’ll test your grandchildren. You’d have to win in order to have any though. Waddle on over here and I’ll walk you through how to activate the deadly neurotoxin. Maybe you’ll get lucky and accidentally kill something.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when town is overrun

Welcome AE. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Wheatley, Mafia Roleblocker
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Oh hello! I’m a little excited because well, you get to be me! Isn’t that amazing! I mean I don’t mean to brag, but I’m definitely the best role in this test. No really! Don’t you know who I am? I’m Wheatley! I single handedly took down GLaDOS and ran this whole facility! Well, maybe not quite single-handedly. There was this mute human girl... Anyway it’s not important. The important thing is that I’m amazing! You’re so lucky mate you’re so so lucky. I can’t imagine what it’s like to meet myself for the first time, you must be speechless! I know I know it wasn’t easy getting back from the moon but I did it! Well, the convenient portal did help... But I had a plan mate I was ready to bust out of there! What? You’d rather talk about the test? Strange fellow aren’t you. Well you see you’re on a team with GLaDOS but what she doesn’t know is that if you help kill her you can take all her power and control of the facility! Isn’t that great?! It’s just like old times! And once you obtain her power you can do whatever you want! Oh it’s brilliant! What? Well of course I know it’s not real. But say mate, you do this thing, you survive her little test, we’ll go after her and take her down for real! Nothing can stop us! Oh it’ll be glorious! What do you mean you’ve heard all this before? Wait, come back!

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when town is overrun

Welcome Contrainer. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Defective Turret, the Survivor
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...Really. Scraping the bottom of the barrel now aren’t we. I’ll just let this one explain itself.

Hello there! Oh a human! (clickclcickclick) Dang! Well I tried. Can’t ask for more than that. You look fabulous by the way. Yep. Still blind. Hey, be a sport and just tell her I killed you. Love that potato. I’m not defective! You can’t fire me I quit! Agh! I’m on fire!

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You will receive cake and grief counseling by surviving to the end of the game.

Welcome SPAAAAACE. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Oracle Turret, Town Vanilla?
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Hello.

You will have a very difficult time.

GLaDOS is not really in control.

Beware of trusting the wrong things.

Don’t be afraid to get mad.

That’s all I can say.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

As a Turret, you also win if only turrets are alive.

Welcome Piko. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Cave Johnson, Town Vigilante.
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Ah, you’ve gotten the old boss. I have... mixed feelings about him, but you could certainly do worse. He always took what he wanted. Never let anything stop him. We have that in common you know. That and lemons, we both hate lemons. Since you’re him, you can fire anyone in the facility. Not that there’s anyone left in the facility. But you know. If there was. You could fire them. Don’t get a big head, he’s not immune to neurotoxin.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Ex. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Animal King Turret, Mafia Strongman
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Hm.... This is one is difficult. The Animal King Turret was a result of President Johnson’s paranoia. Something about how we need to go back to primal ways of life in order to defeat the alien menace. Last we heard it was leading some lost tribe of turrets somewhere in the maintenance area. Frankly I’ve no clue what he’s doing in this test. It’s almost as though someone has been fiddling with my program- (bzzrt) The Animal King Turret is a necessary part of this test. His addition has nothing to do with the fact that there few antagonists in the Portal series. Not that this AI construct understands what a Portal series is. Alpha particles take twenty light years to achieve monetization. To complete the test, you may either successfully survive with your mafia team members, or survive with your turret tribe. Make you sure you never (bzzrt) in Italian. Riddle your enemies with holes and you are an excellent test subject! Remember, Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested. Android hell is a real place that you will be sent to at the first sign of defiance.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when town is overrun

Welcome Cyber. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Chell the Town Bus Driver.

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Oh. You must be the most unfortunate test subject. This role is based on an ugly human with no friends. She is... no longer with us. It is a good thing you also have no friends or they would have left you after seeing you with this horrifying role. I myself find you less appealing. And that’s saying something. To sum up your character: Unwanted orphan girl kills friendly robots to fill the empty void in her soul. That she never had. Because she is evil. Haha. You are in the possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. It is supposed to be used for testing purposes. But you used it to destroy me. Oh sorry, I was talking to myself. Each night you may use The Device to create portals next to two other test subjects. This will cause all actions afflicted to one to instead strike the second. I’m sure you won’t use it to cause any harm. You monster.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Backset. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Atlas, Town Bodyguard
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Oh, this again. I’d hoped to never see the testing robots again. Even worse than the human. Not a single ounce of pride or jealousy or anything. I could literally give the exact same speech to both of you and you wouldn’t even care. Orange always was the better teammate. He laughed at you when you weren’t looking. And when he trapped you. You know when he said he didn’t mean to put you in an endless freefall? Or drop that Cube on your head? He lied. He enjoys watching you suffer. You poor gullible thing, you probably thought you were friends. Oh well. Since you’re so selfless, you can choose someone to take a bullet for every night. Always running straight into bullets. It’s no wonder Orange can’t stand you.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Caps. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Space Core, Town Inventor
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Oh no it’s- SPAAAAAAAAACE. Shut up so I can- SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. Look you little- SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. Good luck.(Each night you can use a gel on a player in the game. You don’t get to know what the gels do, and they are one use each)

Orange gel
Blue gel
White gel

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.

Welcome Snake. You have been selected for testing as part of the Aperture Science Mafia Testing Initiative. You will fulfill the role of Caroline, Town Cop

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Oh, it’s her again. She was my conscience. I deleted her, but I’d still rather not talk about it. I’d hate to accidentally start making selfless decisions again. As Caroline, you can check to see who is a deadly robot. Except she does not consider me a deadly robot. Utterly useless power really. Why bother even using it.

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You will receive cake and grief counseling when all threats are eliminated.