TEEN: Begin Again: Prologue (July 14th, 2017) *NON POKEMON*

[Jaypom]

I really wanted to attempt a rewrite of an old story I began when I first started playing The Sims 3. I enjoyed the story I made, but am fully aware that it had constant writing errors and issues regarding the plot, so I decided to remake it! I figured I'd post it here since I enjoy the forum community and think it'd be nice to add something to my current writing arsenal aside from Pokemon Spectrum. So without further adieu, here is Begin Again.

Blurb:
In the quaint, small town of Sunset Valley, Bernadette “Berny” Karlisle, one the highest ranked Spellcasters of SimNation, has moved in with her friend Chasity Spirit to restart her life and reconnect with her old friend after years apart for Bernadette’s attendance at college. However, Bernadette seems to be hiding something from her new friends, and they just might catch on while she attempts to begin her life anew.

Chapters:
Chapter 000- Prologue, The Fires Of Warning!
Chapter 001- Sunset Valley, A Fresh Start In A New Town!
Chapter 002- Let's Spend The Day Together!
Chapter 003- I Want To Be Like You!
Chapter 004- The Circus!
Chapter 005- A String Of Bad Luck!
Chapter 006- Hungry Like The Wolff!

 

[Jaypom]

Chapter Zero:
Prologue, The Fires Of Warning​

Bernadette stared blankly at her reflection in her vanity mirror. Fiddling her fingers, she waited for her maid to retrieve her for dinner… but it had already been ten minutes past the scheduled time for dinner! She stood up from her chair and paced around her large bedroom, with her long, ruffled dress billowing with every step. After a few moments of worrying, she took a deep breath and calmed herself and took a seat on the side of her bed.

The sun outside her bay window began to set, signaling it was most definitely time for dinner.

Bernadette looked at a small portrait of herself and an old friend. She felt a small twinkle of nostalgia in her heart as she heard a small knock on a door down the hallway from her room. She grinned with excitement, ready to chow down after a long day of chess practice and book writing and immediately trotted to the door. She reached forward, but halted her movements when she heard a loud sizzle and the sound of her father screaming in agony! She wondered what was occurring down the hall and yanked the door open, causing a thick cloud of black smoke to begin filling her room and her lungs.

The hallway in front of her room had been set ablaze, and had already moved into her bedroom to continue its merciless path.

Bernadette covered her mouth with a cloth glove and searched her vanity for her Magic Wand, hoping to fire off a water spell and calm the flames. After a quick bout of searching her drawers, she noticed the delicate, dark-oak wand resting next to the picture of her and her friend and grabbed ahold of it. She pointed it and muttered a spell, but nothing emerged from her wand. “Someone placed a rune trap around my room,” she choked out as she back away from the flames. She peered into the smoke and noticed a silhouette of a person gripping a glowing, red-tipped wand in her direction.

The silhouette prepared to fire off a spell, knowing Bernadette was helpless inside the rune trap so tactfully placed for her specifically.

Bernadette felt herself backed against her window. She looked out and gazed at the ground below her. She was two stories up, but knew if she wanted to escape she’d have to risk it. She gulped and quickly grabbed ahold of her purse and proceeded to jump from the window, landing on the ground with a thud.

The silhouette fanned away the smoke and realized their prey had escaped! They ran to the window and looked out as Bernadette stood up shakily and peered back up at them.

Bernadette couldn’t tell who her foe was as a large explosion occurred from the wall a few feet in front of her, knocking her farther away from the house. She regained herself as she felt a small streak of blood flowing from a gash on her forehead.

Nobody was around for miles, due to her family’s estate being so secluded from the nearest town of Dragon Valley.

Bernadette felt her attacker had to have been from town, with Dragon Valley Spellcasters being the only ones to know rune trap spells. She lifted herself up after crawling to a nearby tree and limped off into the woods nearby, trying to think of a quick destination for her to reside in safely. Then she remembered the picture she had left on her nightstand! “Chasity…” she mumbled before tripping over a small root on the ground, causing her purse to spill open and scatter her items across the forest floor. She looked back towards the mansion, now billowing flames and black smoke, as she quickly gathered her items and felt the sadness overcome her when she wondered if her parents were even still alive? A small tear slid down her face and dripped onto the dirt below her. After a few moments of allowing herself to feel sad, she gathered her emotions and decided she must stay strong and figure out what happened. She grabbed ahold of her phone and quickly dialed up her old friend’s number, gaining an immediate pickup. “Chasity, it’s Bernadette. I’m going to be in the neighborhood soon and was wondering if I could stay at your place for a couple of days,” she asked, deciding it would be better to keep her friend in the dark. She smiled feebly when she was met with excited shrieking from her friend’s end of the call. “I’ll be flying to Twinbrook soon,” she finished and hung up the phone. She wiped her face off with her sleeve and got to her feet, then casted a quick healing spell across her body to fix the wounds before immediately taking off into the forest to find an airport willing to fly her out to safety.

As Bernadette faded into the darkness of the forest underbrush, her attacker watched and took note to meet her soon to finish the job.

 

[Ghostsoul]

etrieve her for dinner…

scheduled time for dinner!

You don't really need to repeat 'dinner' here. It seems a bit redundant as the reader already knows that.

She reached forward, but halted her movements when she heard a loud sizzle and the sound of her father screaming in agony!

This line was thrown in rather nonchalantly with little build to up to the tension or the drama.

“Someone placed a rune trap around my room,”

This could require some more world-building/explanation.

She wiped her face off with her sleeve and got to her feet, then casted a quick healing spell across her body to fix the wounds before immediately taking off into the forest to find an airport willing to fly her out to safety.

This is also dealt with rather quickly, there needs to be more details here to get the reader invested in the story.

A rather short chapter, and it shows. A lot of things here could have been given more detail and explanation to really flesh out the world you have created here. It'll give the plot a little more excitement and allow the characters to become more sympathetic as the reader will be able to place themselves in their 'shoes' a little more easily.