COMPLETE: SKYRIDGE: Ted's Story - Liberation (TEEN)

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

I need to ask you something. How do you get your chapters up so quickly?

It's Summer, and I usually don't have anything better to do lol. That'll all change come Wednesday though.

Nice work on readding and expanding the Pokedex seen and owned count.

This battle, when compared to Brock's, is somewhat better.
There's some action and descriptiveness, and yet it is concise enough and not too long.
What's next? Please let the next part of this battle be more exciting...

"Now, it was just a case of who caved in first…"

(Current score as of Chapter 8: 81/100 Great)

You've been awesome, I'm getting great feedback from quite a few people, but especially you Turtwig Lover, thanks alot

The new chapter should be up in a few hours.

Also, if someone could teach me how to put the contents on my first post? I tried to do it before, but all I could manage was having the chapter name and then the url beside it

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

Here comes chapter nine. Like I said, this chapter and the chapter before weren't originally going to exist, so I already have the next chapter done after a little editing, so I get a bit of a break

I'll post chapter ten in the morning, and then maybe have another chapter done by tomorrow evening.


Chapter Nine: Poison Ivy
Suddenly, after about a minute of blasting each other with their separate attacks, the two Pokemon ceased fire in perfect unison. Pikachu had sustained a burn, Scarlet’s fur was still sparking here and there, and both Pokemon looked like they could collapse at any second.

You could have cut the atmosphere with a spoon; Ted, Surge, Penny and Sammy were tense, as they watched on to see who would be the victor of this segment of the battle.

Scarlet and Pikachu were glaring at each other, both too weak to battle, but both wanting the other to fall first. The burn was taking hold on Pikachu; it flinched forward, but managed to stay up, leaning on one knee. Scarlet’s legs were quivering.

“Enough!” yelled Surge “Pikachu, use a final Thundershock attack!” the electric rodent summoned up the last of its energy, and sent a tiny bolt of lightning straight at Scarlet, but it was big enough to make her collapse. Almost immediately after she did, Pikachu succumbed to its burn, and fell on its side.

Both trainers stood silently for a few seconds, before both grinning, and returning their Pokemon to their respective Pokeballs.

“Looks like it’s one on one kid!” stated the Lieutenant. “I’ve misjudged you; you’re not bad for your age! Even so, you won’t beat me.” He tossed his last Pokeball in the air. “Raichu, make it quick, I’m done with this.”

As the Pokeball burst, a huge orange creature emerged. It was obvious it was related to Pikachu; it was orange, had yellow cheeks, and a white belly. It was about three times the size of the average Pikachu too, but only about twice as big as Surge’s unnaturally huge one. It looked even more vicious than Surge’s Pikachu too.

“Come on out Ralf!” said Ted, throwing his last Pokeball to the ground. “Start off with a Leech Seed!”

Ralf’s bulb swelled a little, and then contracted again, as a trio of small, brown seeds were ejected out of the top, all three of which hit their target. As soon as they hit Raichu, small, green roots burst out of them, and wrapped around the massive mouse’s body, leaving its appendages free. The effects were instantly obvious; Raichu seemed to flinch every few seconds, as the seeds would glow green, just before Ralf’s bulb did the same.

“Raichu, use Thunderbolt! Don’t let this clown toy with us any further, wipe him out!” The orange creature clenched its fists as its yellow cheeks flashed like neon lights, before the mouse’s entire body let loose an enormous electrical storm. Ted watched on in horror; there was no way Ralf could avoid this. The poor Bulbasaur’s body rippled and twitched with each blast of lightning that hit it. Even with his resistance, Ralf could only take maybe two more hits like that, and even then, only because of the Leech Seed. Ted had to think fast.

“Ralf, use PoisonPowder, then follow it up with a Razor Leaf! Don’t give it a chance to attack; speed is the key!”

Ralf ejected a cloud of purple spores straight at Raichu, catching it straight in the face.

“Raichu what are you doing!? Get on with it, use another Thunderbolt, and destroy him!”

Ralf launched a stream of leaves from underneath his blub, sharpening as they flew through the air. Raichu got a few bolts of lightning out before the leaves cut into it, all of which Ralf was able to avoid.

“Enough!” screamed Surge, removing his sunglasses for the first time throughout the whole battle; he was furious, clearly he hadn’t been beaten in a while. “Obliterate him! Use Thunderbolt, again and again, finish him!”

Raichu’s body seemed to explode with lightning; there were more bolts of lightning in the room than there was empty air. Ralf was hurled into the wall behind Ted, and pinned there by more blasts of electrical energy. The creature wasn’t showing any signs of relenting its storm any time soon, it just continued to rip into Ralf with its insane mastery over lightning. Ted didn’t know what to do, it seemed hopeless.

Suddenly, Raichu buckled. It had used too much energy too quickly, and along with the Leech Seed and poisoning, it couldn’t keep it up any more. It was going to have to rely on physical attacks from now on, not that it mattered; a single Tackle would take Ralf out no problem at this point.

Ralf pulled himself to his feet, barely able to stand. Ted didn’t know what to do; sure, Raichu was poisoned, and there was the Leech Seed, but it still had well over half its health! It was going to take a miracle. In a perfect world, Ralf would evolve now, he was reasonably close to it, but this wasn’t a perfect world, it was going to need something else.

“Ralf, now that it can’t use electric attacks, wrap it with your Vine Whip! Don’t let it get close to you!” Ralf wearily smiled at his owner, and launched his vines at Raichu. It was just a matter of holding it back until the poison and Leech Seed could take it out. The whips tried to go for Raichu’s waist, but it simply flicked them out of the way. They entangled themselves around its wrists instead. The two Pokemon then seemed to partake in some sort of bizarre wrestling match, Raichu trying to push forward, inching ever closer with each step.

“Come on Ralf, keep it back, you can do this!” It was obvious he was under a lot of strain; Ralf was using all his strength to hold back this powerhouse of a Pokemon, but despite his best efforts, Raichu was coming forward, he couldn’t hold it back for much longer. He had, however, managed to stall for time, regaining a bit of health from the Leech Seed. There was still a chance.

“This is ridiculous, just smash it Raichu!” It was just as frustrated as its owner now; Raichu braced itself to charge forward.

“Ralf, push it back as far as you can, then use Razor Leaf!” Ralf gave a huge flick of the vines, and Raichu was thrown back to the other side of the room, landing on its back. Ralf couldn’t afford to hesitate; he sent another storm of knife-like leaves flying straight at Raichu, cutting into it with great force. Despite its best efforts however, Raichu picked itself up and sprinted straight at Ralf, it was all over, even with the regained health, this thing was going to smash straight into Ralf at full pelt, there was no way he’d make it through this.

But then, the miracle that Ted had wished for earlier finally arrived. Mid run, Raichu started to slow down to a walk, before suddenly stopping altogether, collapsing on its hands and knees. That last Razor Leaf had done more damage than Ted thought, and at last, the poison was too much for the mouse, as its hands slipped from underneath it, and its body came crashing down onto the floor. Ted had won.

At first Surge just stood there, still smirking. It seemed as if he hadn’t realised what had happened yet, but then Ted noticed that he was shaking a little, and soon, a little became a lot. The man’s face went red with fury as he walked over to Ted.

“Congratulations.” He said, from behind a forced smile and grinding teeth. “Here, take this Thunderbadge, I wish you luck in your further challenges.”

Ted was scared, it looked like he was literally about to explode. He muttered his thanks, and they all ran back into the main room of the gym, the electric bars instantly regenerating behind them. Suddenly, they heard the man scream the longest stream of swear words you could possibly dream of from behind them. Ted glanced at Penny, who glanced back at him, and they both burst into laughter. Ted returned Ralf to his Pokeball, and they headed for the Pokemon Center.

**************************************************

“So what’s the plan now?” asked Penny, as they were getting ready for bed.

“I guess we’ll just take Silence Bridge down to Fuchsia City. It shouldn’t take too long; like I said, maybe two days tops, but it means we’re going to have to spend at least one night out camping, is that okay with you?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? I can’t wait!” she grinned.

After a few minutes of silence, a thought came to Ted. “Penny, how come you’re not taking the Gym Challenge? You have Pokemon, you might as well!”

“I just don’t wanna make my Pokemon fight.” She replied simply.

“Well then, what were you doing in Viridian Forest when we first met?”

“Um, I was…- I just want to see the world I guess.” she stammered.

“All by yourself?”

“Um, yeah! I like it, it gives me time to think and stuff.”

There was definitely something fishy going on with Penny. There was another thirty seconds of silence.

“You know Penny; if there’s anything you wanna tell me… Whatever it is, it won’t bother me; you’re my friend.”

“I know, but there’s nothing! I’m getting tired, I’ll see you in the morning, goodnight!” she gave him a quick smile, and instantly left in a hurry to her own room, clearly keen to end the conversation.

Seen: 22 - Just seen: Raichu
Owned: 7
Ted's Party: Scarlet (Vulpix), Rose (Butterfree), Ralf (Bulbasaur)
Penny's Party: Sammy (Cubone), Sally (Horsea)

 

[Danerius Jr]

Re: Skyridge

Awesome Chapter!
I love how you made Surge, like crazy.
OMW what was Penny doing in Viridian Forest?

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

All shall be revealed soon my friend
But for now, here's Chapter Ten. There is going to be something that happens here that some of you may not agree with, but just bare with me, it's not how it seems.


Chapter Ten: Silence Bridge
“Good job! Now, finish it off Ralf, use Vine Whip!”

The fisherman returned his fainted Goldeen, looking mildly disappointed. “It doesn’t matter; I bet I’d beat you in a fishing competition!”

“Bye!” replied Ted simply, laughing at the desperate man. He was at least in his forty’s, Ted, a fifteen year old boy, had still managed to beat him no problem, and he felt he needed to redeem himself by bragging about another hobby instead. But then again, everyone else he’d met on the bridge was just as much of an amateur as this guy was.

As soon as they had woken up the next day, they had cut through Route 11 as quickly as possible to get to the bridge; Ted was very eager to have his fossil resurrected.

It was a lovely place, no matter what part of it you were standing on you always had a beautiful view from Silence Bridge. It was about three o’clock in the afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky. The sea beside them glimmered and sparkled like a thousand tiny sapphires. The sky was light blue, with only a few wispy clouds wandering along the horizon. On the other side of the bridge, to their right as they walked south along it, were another few yards of water, before it quickly turned in to land, with no distinctions between the two, the change was so sudden, there was no beach of any kind. The whole area of earth, as far as the eye could see, was covered in beautiful, green forest. Ted, having only ever really been to Cinnabar Island and Fuchsia City before his journey began, had never realised how incredible Kanto was. He couldn’t remember who, or when, but someone had once told him that Kanto was the least stunning of all the regions. He doubted this was true, after having seen this, but if it was, he couldn’t see places like the famous Lake of Rage, the treetop community of Fortree City, or the calm peaceful Floaroma Town. He promised himself that he’d visit all the regions someday.

The only trouble they seemed to be having was the excessive numbers of fishermen! There were dozens of them; every single one of them used relatively weak Water-type Pokemon, and every single one of them challenged Ted to a battle. He beat them all of course, with just Ralf.

Ted never got annoyed at them though. He was really getting in to the swing of being a Pokemon trainer. He already had two badges, three relatively strong Pokemon, and Penny, who cheered him on every step of the way. His relationship with her was building even more; they were really getting to know each other. Somehow, they never ran out of things to talk about! All day long, they walked down the bridge together, chatting about nothing in particular, laughing together at silly jokes, it was bliss. Of course, he was still suspicious of a lot of things concerning her, but when they were talking together like this, it was easy for Ted to forget about it all.

As they neared the end of the bridge, Ted was in the middle of telling her a particularly funny story, about one time when his father had been attacked by a Lickitung (she was already in stitches, seeming to know what was going to happen), when something happened to ruin their seemingly perfect day.

“Hand them over! We can do this the hard way if you want, I have a Weepinbell you know, I could take out your whole party if I wanted to and just take them from you. And cough up any money you’ve got on you while you’re at it!”

The words, spoke in a snarling, high pitched voice, which sounded as if the man had a cold, came from a man who, despite the weather, was dressed all in black, a pair of nylon trousers and a hoody, with the hood up. He was holding a fisherman by the shirt, so as his feet were on the bridge, but if the attacker let go, he would be unbalanced, and fall in backwards.

“Hey! Leave him alone!” Ted shouted, as he broke in to a run. The man in the hoody turned his head. He was at least thirty five, had a crooked nose and a botched, ginger bowl cut. If he hadn’t been dangling this man off the edge of the bridge, you would have simply laughed at him.

“Ted no!” screamed Penny, but he ignored her.

Ted released Ralf as he ran. “Catch that man with your vines, don’t let him fall in!” Ralf obeyed immediately, wrapping his vines around the fisherman’s wrists, just as Ted rammed the other man to the floor.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” said the man, as Ralf pulled him up.

“It’s cool, just get out of here!” replied Ted, hastily. The man instantly turned and ran.

By this time the other man had scrambled to his feet. “You dirty rat! How dare you interfere! You’ll pay for this! Weepinbell, Zubat, take him out!” he cried, throwing two Pokeballs to the ground. Ted could tell that these Pokemon were stronger than the one’s belonging to the fishermen he’d been battling all day, but not by much. He decided that this could just be more training, and considering Scarlet had been trained a little by his father before he set out, she was strongest. He decided to send out Ralf and Rose, besides, Rose could probably knock out the Zubat with one hit from a Confusion attack; it’d be super effective! It’d be good against Weepinbell too of course, but it was evolved.

“A- A shiny Butterfree…!? You scoundrel! You’re the one who messed with my colleague at Diglett Cave! It’s bad enough you’ve crossed Team Rocket once, but for a second time, you’re going to have to die!”

Ted just stood there, staring, mouth wide open, unsure of what to say. Eventually he was able to get over the stupidity of what the man had just said and came up with a response.

“Um, I hate to break it to you man, but, Team Rocket have been split up for nine years now. Well, six if you count that pathetic attempt at a come back at the Radio Tower…-”

“Quiet you!” snapped the man. “Just because Giovanni didn’t come back doesn’t mean that we should just give up! There’s still hope!”

“I’m sorry but, he hasn’t been seen for nine years! To be honest, I don’t think there’s as much hope as you might think…”

“Enough talk! Weepinbell, use Razor Leaf! Zubat, bite the Bulbasaur! Destroy him for his insolence!”

The two Pokemon obeyed, as a flurry of leaves flew from the leaves on Weepinbell’s sides, and Zubat soared towards Ralf, mouth wide open, fangs oozing poison.

“Ralf, block all the leaves with your vines! Rose, use Confusion on Zubat!” Two vines emerged from underneath the bulb on Ralf’s back, that, with surprising speed and accuracy, started knocking the now razor sharp leaves off target, while Rose performed her Confusion attack on Zubat, instantly sending it flying backwards, hitting the floor of the bridge once before bouncing into the water.

“Good job! Now Ralf, use Tackle attack on Weepinbell, then Rose, use Confusion again!”

Ralf rammed into the Flycatcher Pokemon head on, before Rose blasted it straight into its owner, knocking him clean off his feet with her Confusion attack.

The man instantly flipped on to his belly and started to scramble to his feet, but, in returning his Pokemon at the same time, he tripped over himself, and fell flat on his face. Ted simply nodded at Ralf, who then tied the man up with his vines.

“Now” started Ted, looming over the trapped man. “Care to explain yourself?”

The man looked terrified, but he was trying to hide it. He tried to spit at Ted, but in his fear he forgot he was lying down, and the blob of saliva just ended up all over his face. Ted burst into laughter.

“You’ll pay for this you runt! When my superiors find out you’ve interfered twice they’ll punish you in ways you could never imagine!”

“Superiors? Really now? As far as I’m concerned, there are only two of you. I didn’t get talking to the other guy after I owned him, but you seem to have a few screws loose, and I’m willing to bet the other guy was the same. How else could anyone delude themselves into thinking that Team Rocket was still around?”

“I’ll have you know we have a small operation of about thirty people at the minute, and we’re still hiring! You just wait, you’ll pay for this!”

“I’m sure I will. Ralf, drop him in the sea.” smirked Ted, enjoying himself far more than he should have been. Ralf gave a slight flick of the vines, releasing the man in the same motion; he flew a few yards to the left, landing in the ocean. A few seconds later, his head popped out of the water.

“Just you wait!” he screamed in fury. And with that, he started to swim north, towards Lavender Town.

Ted laughed again. “Good job guys!” he said, returning Rose and Ralf. “Now come on, we have to get to Fuchs-” He turned to see a very scared Penny, with tears in her eyes.

“Hey! What’s wrong?!” He knelt slightly, to be eye level with her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “What is it?”

“Ted, there’s something I haven’t told you” her voice was broken; she was struggling to fight back tears. “It was bad enough after the whole thing with the museum, but now that this has happened, you need to know. Ted, I’m sorry, I’ve put you in serious danger.”

Seen: 28 - Just seen: Poliwag, Magikarp, Psyduck (battling trainers before the chapter started), Goldeen, Zubat, Weepinbell
Owned: 7
Ted's Party: Scarlet (Vulpix), Rose (Butterfree), Ralf (Bulbasaur)
Penny's Party: Sammy (Cubone), Sally (Horsea)

 

[brickwork]

Re: Skyridge

A cliffhanger? That's just mean!

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

A cliffhanger? That's just mean!

sorry hope you all liked it though

this is were the real story starts to take off

 

[brickwork]

Re: Skyridge

Good!

 

[Noivern]

Re: Skyridge

Cliffhangers are a way to make the reader want more of your fic. However, don't forget to live up to the reader's expectations, or people are not going to read your fic after the disappointment!

Pay attention to what the readers want: their comments are a great tool, but sometimes, you will need to do it your own way.

I won't be reviewing your fic as often as before, since I also have two other fics waiting in line to be reviewed, as well as replacing move images at Bulbagarden Archives.

Great battle, but "use Tackle attack" sounds weird. "use Tackle" is enough, I think.

Ted's in serious danger?

(Current score as of Chapter 10: 83/100 Great)

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

it should be good,thanks TL

guys, hopefully I'm going to be able to get another chapter up in the next few hours, but tomorrow things are going to change a little. I go back to school, 5th year of High School, which means (as you brits out there know) I have my GCSEs, some of the most important exams of my life. It's going to be a busy year, but I promise, I'm going to try my very hardest to get at least one chapter up a week, hopefully more if I can manage.

Thanks again for the support, new chapter coming up withing the next 5 hours hopefully

 

[Legacy]

Re: Skyridge

This is very enjoyable to read. I love your characterization of some of the canon characters, really well written as well. Keep up the good work!

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

This is very enjoyable to read. I love your characterization of some of the canon characters, really well written as well. Keep up the good work!

thank you, it's always nice to see a comment from a new username

By the way, I'm sorry, the chapter I promised tonight isn't happening. By the time I'll have everything sorted for school tomorrow, it'll be like 11pm, but I swear, I'll put it up tomorrow, sorry

 

[Noivern]

Re: Skyridge

By the way, I'm sorry, the chapter I promised tonight isn't happening. By the time I'll have everything sorted for school tomorrow, it'll be like 11pm, but I swear, I'll put it up tomorrow, sorry

There's no rush to put up your fics ASAP. Polish it up, make corrections, elaborate, fix plot holes, you can do a lot with enough time.

There's no need to put up fics in a very fast rate, if you can't gurantee the quality. It's best to take things slowly.

Focus more on your studies. Let fanfic creation stop for a while if you have important things to do first.

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

There's no rush to put up your fics ASAP. Polish it up, make corrections, elaborate, fix plot holes, you can do a lot with enough time.

There's no need to put up fics in a very fast rate, if you can't gurantee the quality. It's best to take things slowly.

Focus more on your studies. Let fanfic creation stop for a while if you have important things to do first.

yeah I guess, thanks lol

I'll write whenever I can, but TL's right, school comes first. Like I said before, I'll try and get at least one chapter out a week, and I'll let you know before hand if I can't

I hope to get another one out either tonight or tomorrow night though, and hopefully another one at the weekend

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

Okay, here's chapter 11, it's really just to get the storyline straight, so it might be a little dull, sorry, but it is needed. Things are about to really pick up, I promise. It'll only be a few more chapters now until things get really good.

ALSO! THIS IS IMPORTANT! It's just occured to me that upon writing this chapter there is going to be violence in this fic. Not very often, but when it comes about it'll usually be bad. Just thought I should throw that in there, I'm changing my first post to warn people from then on, sorry I forgot to say before.

Anyway, enjoy


Chapter Eleven: Insanity’s Past
“Wha…-What?” Ted was confused. It was a warm day, maybe it had gone to her head. What could she possibly be talking about?

“Seriously Ted, we need to get outa here, and then I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” She was shaking a little. Whatever this was, she was serious about it.

“Um, yeah, sure, come on…” They ran south down the remainder of the bridge. A few more people challenged Ted to a battle, but Ted simply apologised as they sped past. The area at the bottom of the bridge was beautiful too; first, there was a short area, Route 13, which had a network of seemingly pointless fences that wound about like a maze. They ran to a quiet corner, in amongst the trees in the north east segment of the route, and sat down, waiting a few seconds to catch their breath.

“Penny…” panted Ted, composing himself “What are you talking about? What’s wrong?”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning…” she sighed; she still had tears in her eyes. Ted hoped she wouldn’t cry, he didn’t think he’d know what to do if that happened.

“I don’t live in Pallet Town. I never did. In fact I’ve never even been there. When we met in Viridian Forest, I had been running away from my real home, in Goldenrod City.”

“What!? Why?”

“Ted I’m sorry but please don’t interrupt… It’ll be easier that way…”

“Sorry, continue” he muttered, feeling stupid.

“Okay, well basically, about three months ago, crime started to shoot way up in Goldenrod City and Mahogany Town. I don’t know anything about what was going on in Mahogany Town, but I know more than I’d like about Goldenrod. It was a gang, they were going around trying to steal people’s Pokemon, burgling houses, small robberies, nothing unheard of at first, but then people started getting kidnapped, and two were murdered. One of the guys who were involved with one of the murders was caught, but when they tried to interrogate him, he just started screaming about how they were finally returning, and that we’d all pay for assuming it was all over. No one knew what he meant at first, but Ted, when they checked his house for details that could explain the motives; they found a shrine to Team Rocket…” Penny looked terrified, she was shaking again, and a tear rolled down her cheek. Ted could understand why. How could this be true? Was it true?

“It’s not really Team Rocket of course, that wouldn’t be as bad actually, then people would take more notice. These guys are worse. The Police think most of the gang are ex grunts, and the one they caught was diagnosed clinically insane… What’s more, he escaped… As far as I know, they still don’t know how.”

“But, Penny, how come this hasn’t been big news? How come the police can’t stop it? You’d think people would at least know about it…”

“That’s another thing. I have no idea. The first place I went to after I left was Azalea Town, and when I asked for help, no-one knew anything about it and just assumed I was a silly little girl… I don’t know how, but they have people everywhere. Maybe the last two guys we encountered weren’t a good example… But these guys are serious Ted. One of the men that was murdered… It...- It was horrible! They- They gutted him, and…-” she choked a little “They hung his… His innards, from the Magnet Line… Ted it was horrible…”

Ted could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Penny, are you…- Are you being serious…?! What happened next?”

“Well, a few days after that… My dad, he… He got kidnapped. Without a trace. My mother and I had gone out to get the shopping, and when we got back the house was a wreck, and he…- he was...” At this she burst into tears. “He was gone! I’m sorry!”

“No! No it’s okay!” Ted scrambled over to her, putting his arm around her waist. She cried into his shoulder for a few minutes, he felt so sorry for her; how could this happen? Team Rocket hadn’t existed for years, and now this? This was worse than anything they’d ever done before! Ted had heard rumours that they’d killed a few Pokemon, usually by accident, but never people, never.

“My mom…” she started again suddenly, still sobbing a little. “She gave me her Horsea, Sally, and I took Sammy, who was the family pet… They had left a note, saying that if we went to the Police they’d kill my dad… She told me to get out of the city as fast as I could, and to see if I could get help from Kanto, but when I got to Viridian City about a week and a half later, no-body would listen to me there either… And that guy that robbed the museum, I saw him there, robbing an old man. When the Police finally came, they hardly did anything! They’re corrupt, and I think it's because these guys have people in the Police Force. I stayed there for a few more days, to pull myself together… And then I saw you, arriving on that Pidgeot. I followed you, I knew you were a new trainer; maybe you’d help me… But when I finally revealed myself to you, I didn’t have the heart to tell you… I’m sorry… I’ve been so stupid, wasting time going around with you, I should have told you instantly” she started to sob again.

“It’s okay! It’s okay… Everything’s going to be fine now…”

“No it won’t Ted!” she yelled through her tears “By now my dad… and maybe even my mom could be dead, just because I was too much of a coward to say anything!”

He pulled her closer, he didn’t know what had come over him, a month ago he would have died if a girl had cried near him; he wouldn’t have had a clue what to do. He nudged her chin up so she was looking him in the eye with his free hand, and gently wiped the tears off her cheeks.

“Listen Penny, we’re going to get to Fuchsia City as fast as we can, and I’ll tell my dad everything. I promise you, we’re going to find your parents.”

“Ted, these guys ripped a man’s guts out and hung them out in the street, just to make a statement. If they do have people in the police, what are we supposed to do?”

She was right of course. The Police Force in any of the regions had never been that good, and if these people had connections in it, it would be easy to bring the whole process to a halt. And if the Police weren’t on their side, who was? Could they go to the Elite Four? The Champion? They could hardly bring these people down themselves, they had killed people!

“Penny to be perfectly honest with you I really don’t know, but we’ll think of something. We’ll get to my dad; at least that’ll be a start. We’ll figure this out somehow; there must be someone who can help.”

“I guess so…” she whispered, tears still rolling down her cheeks. She snuggled closer to him. “Thank you… You’re the only one who’s listened to me so far…”

“No problem Penny…” he replied. She seemed to fit perfectly in his arms, she felt small and delicate. He could feel her heart beat against his chest, as she looked up at him and tried a smile. Even after she’d been crying she was truly stunning. Her mascara had smudged around her eyes, and after crying her eyes were an even brighter blue, resembling the sky on a brilliant summer’s day.

“There is just one thing though…” said Ted “How come you’ve seemed so happy the whole time?”

“Oh I don’t know…” she sighed. “I guess I’m just good at hiding my emotions. I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night if that makes me seem any more normal.” She laughed. She was brilliant, even at times like this she was willing to poke fun.

Ted grinned. “Well come on, it’s getting late, but now getting to Fuchsia City is even more important, we’ll try and see how far we can get before sunset.”

He pulled her up by the hand, but when she was standing she didn’t let go. She walked close to him, clearly still upset, needing comfort. They continued their journey through the fence maze, with greater haste and anxiety pushing them onwards, made bearable by each other’s company, walking hand in hand.

Seen: 28
Owned: 7
Ted's Party: Scarlet (Vulpix), Rose (Butterfree), Ralf (Bulbasaur)
Penny's Party: Sammy (Cubone), Sally (Horsea)

 

[Noivern]

Re: Skyridge

If you are going to put violent content in your fic, you might want to do so when you first created this fic!
Don't forget to put a warning on the title - You can change titles by editing the first post of a thread.

You might want to make a Table of Contents on the first post, listing and linking to each chapter for easy viewing.

I noticed some spelling mistakes. "outa"? Shouldn't it be "outta"? Sometimes, you might want to pay attention on whether your keypresses really registered.

Also, did you use an insufficient amount of commas? I noticed that some of the dialogue look awkward in written form. Let's have a look at this example.
"Ted I'm sorry but please don't interrupt… It'll be easier that way…"
"Ted, I'm sorry, but please don't interrupt me… It'll be easier that way…"
Which one looks better?

Alt-130 for é! As in, Pokémon!

As for the story, Penny who? (Just joking.) Looks like she's stuck in a sticky situation. eh? She doesn't look that way before the end of the last chapter.

(Current score as of Chapter 11: 82/100 Great!)

 

[brickwork]

Re: Skyridge

I almost cried. Seriously. That chpter was really touching. This really is amazing. Keep writing!

 

[Danerius Jr]

Re: Skyridge

Oh My Word! BlueN this is such a good chapter.
I mean like I already knew what was going to happen, but I still felt surprised and stuff.

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge

I know, I did feel a little awkward about suddenly giving her so much back story, especially after she seemed so happy before hand, but I've done my best. Also, how do I put contents on the first page? I tried to, but it ended up that it was just the url, which looked sorta ugly. How do I make the actual chapter name to be the link?

Good greif Super Glitch, thank you! I honestly don't think it was that good, and I'm not even being modest, but thanks anyway!

Thanks Danerius sorry, this can't be NEARLY as exciting for you.

P.S. New chapter on either Friday night or at the latest sometime Saturday

 

[BlueNostalgia]

Re: Skyridge (Contains strong, but infrequent violence)

I'm going to have to stop setting deadlines for myself. Sorry guys, I haven't managed to write another chapter, I was even more busy than expected. So from now on, I'm not gonna make any promises about new chapters at exact times, but I WILL post at least one chapter a week, more if I can manage.

Hope you guys understand, and sorry again

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Skyridge (Contains strong, but infrequent violence)

I really like your story. I've always felt like Pokemon could be a bit darker than it is, and your story does that. I really like your characters also. I'd rate your fic 8.5/10 so far.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

I'm going to have to stop setting deadlines for myself. Sorry guys, I haven't managed to write another chapter, I was even more busy than expected. So from now on, I'm not gonna make any promises about new chapters at exact times, but I WILL post at least one chapter a week, more if I can manage.

Hope you guys understand, and sorry again

I'm the same way, I'm always like "I'm going to write a chapter today!" and then it turns out I have stuff to do. So yes, I do understand.