Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (OMA Chapter 16 up!)

[TeamGalacticMercury]

Re: Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (MAJOR NOTICE!)

hope it comes soon(really needs to start commenting often)

 

[Gama]

Re: Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (MAJOR NOTICE!)

Wonderful news.

If you update this more regularly, it'll be the next big thing - I can see it now.

 

[Rob Anybody]

Re: Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (MAJOR NOTICE!)

Hooray! My patience has paid off!

 

[Jengar]

Re: Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (MAJOR NOTICE!)

You know, one of these days I'm going to be giving something like 2+3i out of 100.

I alol'd at this! (actually lol'd) I'm a math ed major at my university, so I may have gotten more of a laugh than some, but... :lol::lol::lol:

Okay, chapter two. Or the beginning of the game. Which brings a question to mind. Are you a boy or a girl?

Is Gyaradosian a word? No? It is now.

WARNING: This chapter contains copious amounts of Joey. Reader discretion is advised.

*chuckles*

Totodile erupted from his ball and clamped his jaws on the ball of gas. Dante never could understand how that worked, but it did and it was having serious effect. Already the ghost looked weaker. Howling in triumph, Dante grabbed one of his new Pokeballs and threw it at the Gastly.

I don't get it either, but whatever...:eh:

Dante reached the end of the cave and burst outside, so glad to be back in open air again.

Of course it would be raining.

*shakes head in amusement*

 

[Falconwing]

Re: Son of Earth- A Rival's Tale (MAJOR NOTICE!)

You know that feeling where you're walking for a while and you feel like it's been forever but it's only been ten minutes? How do you think Dante feels?

We're back ladies and gents. This is Son of Earth: Chapter 16!

CHAPTER 16​

Dante was not a crier. He thought it was silly to break down into tears over the smallest of things. Even so, while he was crashing through the brush of the Ilex Forest, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. The shame he felt from that match weighed down on him. Finally, he just collapsed on the ground and cried, both sad and furious. He got up at some point and started kicking the trees, snapping one of the thin ones completely in two. After almost an hour of pure rage fueling him, he collapsed onto the ground and passed out.

When he awoke that night, Dante knew what he had to do. His team was weak, that much was certain. So he was going to change that. They would not leave this forest until his Pokemon were stronger.

“Zubat, Gastly, Croconaw! Out! Now!”

His Pokemon erupted from their balls, obviously still tired from their match earlier. Dante fumed. They had no stamina.

“Wake up. We’ve got work to do!” he cried and he slapped each of his Pokemon across the face. Dante’s hand passed right through Gastly, but it seemed to get the hint.

Grumbling, his Pokemon tried to look someone aware. Dante pointed to a patch of Oddish emerging from the ground nearby. “Thirty seconds. Knock them all out.”

Croconaw looked at Gastly and seemed to shrug, and then the three Pokemon attacked the Oddish swarm. They cried out and scattered. Dante timed the event on his Pokegear.

31 seconds later, Dante called a halt. Four of the Oddish waddled off into the brush. The three teammates returned to Dante’s side.

Words could not express how enraged Dante was. Oddish. His team of powerful Pokemon couldn’t even defeat a group of Oddish. His eyes turned on his team and Croconaw cowered behind Gastly, who promptly turned invisible. Zubat just sort of fluttered in the air, unaware of the glare it was receiving.

Dante pointed at a tree and said, “Knock it down. Now.”

Try as they might, the team of Croconaw, Gastly, and Zubat couldn’t knock down the tree. For the rest of the night Dante had them attacking trees and other Pokemon, never seeming to tire. Whenever one of the Pokemon collapsed, he would only grab them and yell some more.

At long last, dawn broke over the forest. Croconaw was lying on the ground, scratched and unable to move. Gastly wasn’t even able to float anymore and Zubat hadn’t even made it this far. He had returned to his ball around 3 AM and had refused to come out.

Dante sat slumped over on a rock. It wasn’t fair. Ethan probably pulled all-nighters all the time training his team. Why was Dante’s team so pathetic?

“Hello?”

Dante slipped off his rock as his head jolted up. He fell onto the mossy turf and looked at the speaker. It was the young boy from the day before. He had a net and a basket with him and was giving Dante the oddest look.

“Um, are you okay? You look like you got mugged or something?” the boy said.

Dante glared and shook his head. “No, we’re just training, thank you very much.”

The boy’s eyebrows rose, “Training? It looks like you put them through a war. That Gastly can’t even float anymore. What the Torn were you doing out here.” He ran over and felt Croconaw’s head and gasped. “This one needs serious help.” The boy looked through his pockets and produced a potion bottle.

“Leave him,” Dante said. “He’s weak. Not worth it.”

But the boy shook his head. “No, he’s not weak. You’re just training wrong.” He sprayed Croconaw with the potion.

“What?”

“If you want to train your Pokemon, you need to get them to work together. Strategize. Show them weak spots they can exploit. Practice individual moves many times. You look like you had them take on the whole forest.”

Dante was stunned. This boy, who had to be younger than him, was telling him that his methods were wrong? How dare he!

The boy held out a hand. “My name is Bugsy and I’d be glad to help you in your training.”

“No!” Dante said, jumping to his feet. “I don’t need help. I can do this on my own.”

Bugsy sighed. “In that case, maybe you could help me.”

“With what”

“Well, I also happen to be the Azalea Town Gym Leader and yesterday I lost pretty badly against a trainer named Ethan,” he explained.

Dante was speechless. Ethan had beaten another gym leader? And it was this child? Impossible! “Why should I help you, if you’re so easily beaten?”

Bugsy raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you help me, I can grant you the Hive Badge.”

Dante was torn. The idea was tempting. He could learn from this Gym Leader and get a badge for minimal effort. In fact, it wasn’t just tempting. It was irresistible. “I accept.”

“Good,” Bugsy said, grinning. “My task is a challenging one. I need to find a Heracross. You know what that is, right?”

Dante shook his head. He had never even heard of the Pokemon.

“Well, it’s blue and has a large horn,” Bugsy explained. “They’re rare, and incredibly tough to beat. They’re part fighting type after all. But your Pokemon should be more than enough to take on a bug and fighting type.”

“Wait,” Dante interrupted. “All you want is for me to help you find a Pokemon? That’s it?”

“It’s not going to be easy.”

Dante sighed. “Fine, I’ll help you find your Pokemon.” He recalled his Pokemon to their balls. “The name’s Dante.”

Bugsy smiled again and they began to walk through the forest.

After about an hour of uncomfortable silence and no sightings of a Heracross, Bugsy finally spoke. “Perhaps if you used your Zubat’s echolocation to find Pokemon hidden in the trees, we could speed this up.”

Dante looked at him and nodded. “Zubat, listen for Pokemon in the trees and tackle anything you find!”

Zubat appeared, still obviously tired, but it did as Dante said. For the next thirty minutes or so, Zubat darted through the trees screeching and tackling whatever it found. Soon, the ground was littering with squirming Weedle and Metapod. One particularly large Kakuna hit the ground with a thud and started to roll away.

Bugsy cried out, “Whoa, stop that one! That’d be a fantastic Beedrill someday!”

Dante sent out Gastly. “Use Mean Look!”

Gastly glared at the Kakuna and it froze in place, unable to move. It’s body didn’t want to respond to it’s commands. Dante grinned as he watched the power of the ghost type unfold.

Bugsy placed the Kakuna in his basket and they marched on. Dante continued to use the combo of Zubat and Gastly to trap Pokemon they found. Finally, Dante got an idea.

“Croconaw, knock out anything that gets trapped.”

Croconaw burst from its ball, still shaky, and proceeded to attack the bugs that dropped from the trees.

As the day wore on, Dante noticed his Pokemon’s improved performance. Zubat wasn’t missing nearly as many of its tackles as it was earlier, and Croconaw was managing one hit knock outs with ease. Even Gastly was able to trap Pokemon and attack them with more ease then it used to. All this repetitive action had allowed them to practice their moves and perfect them.

Dante saw what Bugsy’s plan had been all along. He had manipulated Dante into coming with him so that he could motivate Dante to train his Pokemon better. It was a clever plan for one so young. Dante smiled a bit. Bugsy was someone he knew he could use in the future.

That night, they camped out in the forest under the stars. Neither of them had any blankets or a tent, but Bugsy’s Metapod and Kakuna spun them cocoons they could use as sleeping bags. As Dante pulled the strands of silk over him, he found he had genuinely enjoyed that day. So much knowledge had been gained and his Pokemon had benefited from it, and it was all thanks to clever Bugsy.

The two of them spent the next two days running around the forest trying to find a Heracross. The adventure dragged at times, but overall Dante found he enjoyed it. He had learned a lot about Bugsy as he slowly became more and more open. Bugsy’s last name was Flynn and he had family that lived in Pewter City, who he went back and visited once a week. To his credit, Bugsy never asked for many details of Dante’s life and for that Dante was grateful. He wouldn’t have shared anyways.

Finally, at about 2 PM on their third day, they found a Heracross. It was licking some wild honey from a small tree. With practiced ease, Gastly used Mean Look on the bug Pokemon and then Bugsy’s Scyther struck with full force, weakening the Heracross further. One Pokeball throw later and Bugsy had himself a new team member.

That night, Bugsy announced he was returning to Azalea now that he had accomplished his quest. He told Dante that Route 34, to path to Goldenrod City, was about a half mile north. When he found the lake, he just had to walk to the north shore and there’d be a gatehouse.

Dante thanked him and was about to leave when Bugsy grabbed his arm.

“Hey, Dante, take this as well.” He handed Dante a slip of paper that had a number written on it. It must have been Bugsy’s Pokegear number. Dante smiled and said good bye to his new friend, but Bugsy stopped him again.

“Also,” he said. “I promised you this.” In his hand was a Hive Badge.

Dante’s eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about Bugsy’s promise. In fact, he couldn’t even believe Bugsy would honor it.

“Thanks,” Dante said softly, as he pinned the badge to his jacket.

The two stood there a moment longer in silence and then Dante nodded and walked away. He didn’t hear Bugsy move, but he didn’t look back. One foot after another, Dante walked on, leaving the Azalea leader behind.

After several more minutes of tripping over stray Oddish and avoiding Paras, Dante emerged from beneath the canopy and saw below him a large lake. To his left on sitting on a hill, Dante could make out a small wooden structure, like a shrine or something. He considered going over there and exploring, but he was in a hurry and frankly didn’t think the place all that important. Probably some sort of local hocus pocus or something.

Dante walked around the lake, weaving in and out of the thick trees. As he reached the north side he saw a building in between a gap in the trunks. It was the gatehouse Bugsy had told him about.

Dante began running towards the door to the gatehouse, but skidded to a stop. Standing on the steps was a man in a police uniform and a young girl in a large hat.

Lyra had finally found him.

“Well,” Dante sighed. “This sucks.”

END CHAPTER 16​

Indeed, it does.

 

[Legacy]

I really liked this chapter, Ryu. I loved the emotion of Dante that you were able to convey with how the match affected him. The way you described their training progress was also very enjoyable to read! Can't wait until next chapter.

 

[Falconwing]

*sighs*

it's Ryuu guys...

But thanks Legacy. That was actually the easiest bit to write.

 

[Legacy]

*sighs*

it's Ryuu guys...

But thanks Legacy. That was actually the easiest bit to write.

Sorry Ryuu! Anyways, perhaps sometime I could pick your brain about what I can do better to make my fic's chapter more brief without losing the effect. I tend to blab on and on.

 

[Falconwing]

I look forward to it.

 

[Thundagere]

IT'S BACK!!!! IT'S BACK!!!! IT'S FINALLY BACK!!!!
Eh-hem.
Well, look who's getting stronger? That was a genius idea on your part, to have Bugsy help him, then give him the badge.
Grammar was fine, as was spelling.
Plot-wise, as I've already said, it worked well. The Mean Look idea made Dante a bit more of a strategizer. He's thinking more, and that's good. There's been quite a bit of a character development in this chapter, which is very nice. It really was very neatly done.
I can't wait for him to catch Magnemite and get back Sneasel!
Well done!
Oh, and Lyra's there....oh dear, look who's screwed. *Dante takes out a Pokeball* Croconaw, eat the policeman!

 

[Rob Anybody]

^^ Everything Flame Battler said I was going to say especially the bit about the new chapter - FINALLY!!!

 

[sharktooth162]

Just finished reading the whole thing and was very impressed. Dante reminds me alot of Paul who is one of my fave characters and I think once he develops more he will become more 'interesting' especially when he's trying to get his sneasel back. The one thing that is still troubling me is this situation with quilava and croconaw seen as it seems as though tony is much more willing to attack than croconaw but I suppose that could be a judge on how much they trust their trainer. I was also very disapointed that Bugsy's last name wasnt Malone

 

[Okamidna]

i just read it all in 2 hours. i could not stop. this is like AMAZING and i really like the charachters personality. cant wait for more! so was B***** bugsy then?

(may blue someday make an appearance. that guy is <3)
(to hell with Nwhispers. this rocks its bidoofing socks )

 

[--root--]

This story is amazing. You are a really good writer.

 

[Hellion]

A few people suggested this was a good, so I decided to check it out. Read the first 4 chapters and I gotta say, so far so good. Nice job on making Dante into an interesting anti-hero, with a sad though not overly tragic backstory. It accounts for his motiation to both be a strong trainer and refuse others' help. I'll try to catch up as quickly as possible.

 

[Falconwing]

Wow, thanks Gible. Frankly I never knew this fic would be so popular.

 

[Hellion]

Wow, thanks Gible. Frankly I never knew this fic would be so popular.

It's nothing. An interesting fic deserves attention. My only worry was the lenght of the chapters, but I see they get a bit longer so that's good.

 

[Proxima Centauri B]

I just read the whole thing, its really good, i like how you took HG and SS and made it is Silver(Dante's) point of view, I like the name, Dante. I look forward to reading more

 

[Hellion]

Caught up with all 16 chapters and I gotta say it's an interesting read, there's a nice pacing and rhythm. The only thing that I would say is that I feel that Dante is sorta... too evil... I don't know how to say it but I feel like he should feel guilty about some of the stuff he did but that his anger and bitterness against his parents are toxic, sorta poisoning him. The way he's being written right now works and is one of the few attempts at writing a fic with an anti-hero that's really interesting to read, but doesn't really make me feel sympathetic for the character.

Also, Lyra as trigger happy kickboxing maniac is sorta interesting though I hope she softens up a bit soon and starts having real dialogue with Dante. As for Ethan, I feel he's a bit bland in his interactions with Ethan. Basically, one of Lyra/Ethan sould really be angry towards Dante, the other should warm up to him, try to understand things from his perspective in my opinion and have more dialogue with Dante.

But overall, so far so good

 

[Falconwing]

All very good points. Thank you.

Actually, Goldenrod City and Ecruteak City is really where Dante starts to tone it down a bit. So not too much longer with the douche.

As for Lyra and Ethan... well, just wait till the next chapter xD