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EVERYONE: The Adventures of Quilava

Typhloterra

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I'm fairly new to Bulbagarden and haven't posted a bunch. Anyways, I wrote this a while ago and I thought I'd post it here and see how much people liked it. If people seem to enjoy it, then I'll continue it, but if not, then there's no point in continuing. Hope you guys like it.

Prologue
A quilava swiftly dodged the raining fire and rocks shooting from the other side of the field. He needed to find a shelter. Fast. As he ran from the attacks while still avoiding them, he scanned the area for somewhere to hide.

He ducked behind a pathetic looking burned metal blob. It looked like it had once stood pretty tall with stairs of some sort. He wouldn’t be able to stay hidden there for long. As the eruption of molten rocks began to melt the small shelter, the quilava darted to another rock to hide behind. Luckily, there was some debris to help hide his run to the rock.

Across the field stood a large, melted structure. It formed the shape of a T. An almost identical figure stood over-top of the quilava. He never understood what was so important about these fields. He had seen them on TV and his human trainer had spent hours everyday at one. Thinking more and more about his trainer, he slipped away…

~~~~~~~~~~​

“Oh no! I …erslept!” said a muffled voice. Through the darkness, a cyndaquil could here the barely audible professor. “Sor… to ke…you waiting! Welcome to the …ld of Poké…! My na… i… Profes… Oak. But everyo… ca… me the Pokémo… Professor.” He also heard another voice. Smaller. Softer. More childish. Extremely difficult to hear from inside. The cyndaquil didn’t want to strain himself too much to hear it. “ Now, why don… you te… me a lit… bit abou…self? Are …ou a boy? Or are …u a …irl?”

That’s a weird question, the cyndaquil thought.

“So you… boy then? Ple… tell me yo… name. Yo…ame is Danny? Danny! Oka… Which start… émon do you want? I see. You’ll take cy…quil, the fire-type …mon?”

Bzzztt. The cyndaquil stared up at his new trainer and soon to be lifelong friend.

1: Team Magma
“Wake up. Come on! Wake up!” A ninetales was slapping the quilava across the face repetitively.

“Whaa...” The quilava grabbed the nintales’s paw. “Stop! I’m awake,” he assured the near crying ninetales.

“Hurry, climb to the top of that 'T' shaped thing.”

“What about you?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about me. I want to make sure that you make it out of here safely...” the quilava got a better look at the ninetales. “Are you crying?”

“Of course not! Why would I be crying?!”

“Never mind that. Just get to the top of that structure...NOW!” He darted across the open field in plain view. The falling magma came closer to hitting him every time. He looked up to see if the ninetales had made it up yet. As soon as she did, he climbed up the metal structure and met the ninetales.

“What do you have in mind?” the ninetales said, worried. A huge cry was heard in the distance. Some sort of bird was moving closer to the field.

~~~~~~~~~~​

A cyndaquil ran excitedly through the grass next to his evenly excited trainer.
Man I’m so excited that i get to fight in my first gym battle, The cyndaquil thought.

“Hey Typhlo, come on! let’s get our first gym badge!” Typhlo was the cyndaquil’s name. Granted, he wasn’t a typhlosion yet, but he hoped to someday live up to his name. Danny, his trainer, had given the name to the young cyndaquil several days ago when he had received it from Professor Oak and Elm.
Danny, was 13. Yes, a little old for a beginner trainer, but, well, he had been so focused on school, football, baseball, and raising money for his new bicycle, that he hadn’t had enough time to fill out all his papers for starting his pokémon journey. Yes, his papers. Just recently, the government stated that all professors that give out a starter pokémon and a pokédex must collect information about the kids who signed up. This law prevented kids from taking advantage of the professors.

Danny made his way to Violet City in hopes to collect his first gym badge.

Unfortunately, there were some oddly dressed people standing right in front of the city. They were holding several pokémon. Danny opened his pokédex and pointed it toward the pokémon. Only two of them registered on the pokédex. It was a clefairy. The little pink cutie. The other had a zubat. Danny recognized some of the others such as a numel and a poochyena.

Danny took a better look at the people. He majority of them wore red and black pants and a hoodie that had "ears" on top of them.

"Someone help! These hooligans stole my pokémon!" cried an elderly man.

"Whaa…Don't worry. I'll help you," said Danny, "Are you ready for this Typhlo?" Typhlo nodded as he readied himself for battle. "Hey! You thieves! Give that man his pokémon!"

"What?!" replied the thief, "Who do you think you are? We are Team Magma and we will not back down to anything."

"Typhlo, use flame wheel!

"Cyndaaaaaquiiiiiiiilll!!!!"

"Hey! Who does that kid think he is?! Zubat, use supersonic!"

"Numel, use ember!" said another grunt. Quilava's flamewheel blasted right through the ember and hit numel and a poochyena.

"Use flamewheel again Typhlo!" Before zubat could react, it was knocked unconscious by Typhlo. "Now give the man's pokémon back to him!"

"Ok. Here you go," said the grunt grudgingly. He gave the pokémon back to the elderly man. Another man, obviously part of Team Magma, walked up to Danny. He wore the same color scheme as the others, but it looked more normal than what the others wore. He had red hair and was pretty tall.

"I'm so sorry for any inconvenience that my grunts may have caused. I'm Maxie. The leader of Team Magma. I hope to see you again sometime," he said, "Come on you two grunts. Let's go!"

"But… Boss…" they whined. Team Magma left. The city's people began to murmur among themselves.

"Thank you so much for helping me," said the elderly man, "I work at the daycare just south of Goldenrod City. I was on my way to deliver a few pokemon to a friend when those hooligans attacked me and stole my pokemon. Here take this pokemon as a token of my appreciation." The man handed Danny a small pokeball. Danny clicked the button and a small, tan creature popped out.

"Awesome! It's a Larvitar! Thank you so much!"

"Don't mention it!"
 
Ah, the first story. Every writer dreads reviews, don't they? Especially when it's on something as delicate as your first fic.

Well I must say you've got an excellent start to a solid fic. I especially liked your opening prologue. I'll admit that the switching of perspectives and settings in the first chapter is a little bit difficult to set the tone with, but you've nearly accomplished it.

Do not stop writing just because people might respond coldly! This isn't for us, this is for you, the writer. We give nothing but added motivation as readers. We shouldn't be all the story is for.

Interested into seeing what you have up your sleeve,

Cabaret
 
While everything was well written, going from the prolog, and then to the preface at the beginning of Chapter 1, and then to Chapter 1 proper with Danny and Typhlo confronting Magma grunts, it was a bit hard for me to follow.

I'm sure that once the story catches up to the scenes and characters the prolog and preface concern, things will make much more sense.

I can't know if you included these elements before the story proper starts just to show that you have some very interesting situations which the titular Quilava will be put in sooner or later, but I surely would like to see them if you ever write more.
 
Please note: The thread is from 12 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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