Insane Pokémon Fact Entries

[Okido-Hakase]

There are plenty of absurd Pokemon fact files in the games, anime, and TCG, I'm pretty sure.

For example, this is an Pokedex entry for Machamp (from FireRed, though I believe I've seen it somewhere else before):
"Its four ruggedly developed arms can launch a flurry of 1,000 punches in just two seconds." Take a moment to think over this one. Try throwing a punch. Sure, Machamp may have four arms, but two seconds? Nahhhhhh. I mean, it's insane, that's an exaggeration larger than Prima/Lorelei's you-know-whats.

Does anyone else have any similarly outrageous Dex(or fact file things) entries to share? I'm pretty sure there are a lot more of those out there. Try to point out Poké "facts," ones that would be approved by the Poke professors, not mere bragging by some character in the anime about his or her Monster.

And by an outrageous fact, I don't mean, for example: "[Magmar is] Found near the mouth of a volcano. This fire-breather's body temperature is nearly 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit," because that is somewhat plausible in the Poke world. After all, Pokémon are "strange, mysterious creatures of the planet." As strange as they are though, I'm sure none should be able to throw 1000 punches in 2 secs.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

There's one, I think it's Alakazam, that claims it was formed by wizards combining.

And speaking of Alakazam, IQ of 5000? Yeah right.

 

[Cheesus Is Lord]

Hey, Alakazam uses its psychic powers to hold its head up because its muscles are too weak. It is has a thorough memory of everything that has occurred in the world.

Ponyta can leap tall buildings in a single bound. It's like the Superman Pokemon.

 

[Lesley_GSC]

The whole Zam line is filled with weird facts. O_O

Kadabra-Emerald:

"It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers."

Or Firered's depiction:

"It happened one morning - a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra."

 

[Gohansan]

The whole Zam line is filled with weird facts. O_O

Kadabra-Emerald:

"It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers."

Or Firered's depiction:

"It happened one morning - a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra."

Too many random ideas just came into my head.
'congratulations- your son evolved into kadabra!'
all you have to do now is give him away and, hey presto! your son's the smartest guy in school thanks to his unrealistically high IQ!

One I just found is graveler's ruby dex entrie-
'This pokemon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.'
remember this thing only weighs 230lbs- HOW can it eat through 1 ton a day?!

 

[Cheesus Is Lord]

Ok, this isn't absurd, but it is ridiculously awesome.

Jigglypuff on Sapphire: "When this Pokémon sings, it never pauses to breathe. If it is in a battle against an opponent that does not easily fall asleep, Jigglypuff cannot breathe, endangering its life."

Jigglypuff suddenly seems like a much darker concept for a Pokemon.

 

[empoleon dynamite]

Whismur:
Usually, its cries are like quiet murmurs. If frightened, it shrieks at the same volume as a jet plane.

It is impossible for something so small to be so loud >

 

[Fig]

We're talking about a world where creatures breath fire, summon storms (rain dance), control lightning, and shapeshift into pretty much anything...

...and you complain about a small creature making a lot of noise? :-D

Realism in pokemon never so much flew out of the window as never got to the building in the first place.

 

[Shinx3000]

This is probably way scarier than insane:

Drifloon:

Diamond: "A Pokémon formed by the spirits of people and Pokémon. It loves damp, humid seasons. "

Pearl: "It tugs on the hands of children to steal them away. However, it gets pulled around instead."

 

[Drakon]

Empoleon

It swims as fast as a jet boat. The edges of its wings are sharp and can slice apart drifting ice

The cutting ice with its wings isn't that outrageous but swimming at speeds equal to a jet boat!? They are ambigious, if they mean a jet ENGINED boat, then there is no way in hell that thing will go 180+ mph.

If they mean this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jetboat. Then it's a little more reasonable. I mean there are real animals that can swim over 40 mph (The sailfish for one).

 

[Shinx3000]

Still find it a little hard that skarmory, with its steel body can fly up to 180MPH

"Despite being clad entirely in iron-hard armor, it flies at speed of over 180 mph." mow how would something in iron-hard armor be able to fly like that? We have jetplanes that can, but still

 

[Okido-Hakase]

Victreebel: It pools in its mouth a fluid with a honeylike scent, which is really an acid that dissolves anything. (DP Dex entry)

Acids can't dissolve everything...and even if they did, how would Victreebel hold this buff acid? Though the statement is sort of made to sound exaggerated.

"Rocks are Graveler's favorite food. This Pokémon will climb a mountain from the base to the summit, crunchingly feasting on rocks all the while. Upon reaching the peak, it rolls back down to the bottom." Maybe Graveler eat each other.

Stadium: "[Ponyta are] Capable of jumping over the Eiffel Tower in a single giant leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamonds." Wow.

Stadium 2, interesting: "If the tail-biting Shellder is thrown off in a harsh battle, it reverts to being an ordinary Slowpoke." Referring to Slowbro. It be cool seeing this happen in the anime or something. Does this count as a devolution?

 

[Cheesus Is Lord]

One I just found is graveler's ruby dex entrie-
'This pokemon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.'
remember this thing only weighs 230lbs- HOW can it eat through 1 ton a day?!

The main problem here is that Pokemon in general weigh far too little. Although actually, as Gravler is about 200 Kg/m^3, it's really not at all bad by Pokemon standards. Still.

"Rocks are Graveler's favorite food. This Pokémon will climb a mountain from the base to the summit, crunchingly feasting on rocks all the while. Upon reaching the peak, it rolls back down to the bottom." Maybe Graveler eat each other.

I just had to do it. Poorly.

 

[GuitarHero]

Stadium: "[Ponyta are] Capable of jumping over the Eiffel Tower in a single giant leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamonds." Wow.

Omg are you serious? I thought some of the facts were odd or farfetchd' (bad pun) but this is just hilarious.

 

[Eversti]

Not so much insane, but kind of creepy.

"Its cries sound like incantations. Those hearing it are tormented by headaches and hallucinations." – Mismagius card

"It blooms during times of strong sunlight. It tries to make up for everything it endured as a bud." – Cherrim card

"The small ball holds the nutrients needed for evolution. Apparently, it is very sweet and tasty." – Cherubi card
This Pokémon just gets creepier and creepier...HEY GUYS, LET'S RIP OFF ITS SMALLER, SHRIVELED SELF AND EAT IT!

 

[Okido-Hakase]

Omg are you serious? I thought some of the facts were odd or farfetchd' (bad pun) but this is just hilarious.

Yeah, they even make a reference to the Eiffel Tower, which is sort of interesting. Stadium 1 and 2 seem to have quite crazy entries.

I just had to do it. Poorly.

lol, yes that's what the entry seems to imply.

 

[The Outrage]

Hey, Alakazam uses its psychic powers to hold its head up because its muscles are too weak. It is has a thorough memory of everything that has occurred in the world.

Why is it people keep thinking Psychic powers = High IQ or vice versa......

-Dragnoite circling the world in 16 hours. Perhaps if it was circling it from the Arctic circle, then yes, but I have a hard time believing that such a fat Pokemon can travel so fast, not to mention the other Pokemon who are able to surpass it in speed.

-Wailord's size:weight ratio. Last I checked, that made it less dense than water, yet we can clearlysee it swimming deep below the waves.

One I just found is graveler's ruby dex entrie-
'This pokemon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.'
remember this thing only weighs 230lbs- HOW can it eat through 1 ton a day?!

Just because we eat 1 pound of food, doesn't mea we automatically gain 1 pound. It's burned off fairly easily as energy to keep us alive, but still quite a stretch.

 

[GrnMarvl14]

Wailord's size:weight ratio. Last I checked, that made it less dense than water, yet we can clearlysee it swimming deep below the waves.

That's the anime. In the Colosseums (and, presumably, Battle Revolution...haven't played it), it floats (granted, ALL of the swimming water types mysteriously float, but at least with Wailord it makes sense). Besides, just because you're less dense than water doesn't mean you CAN'T go beneath the surface. It just means you're not inclined towards it. Maybe it swallows water in order to go lower, like how people have to wear weights to go deep-sea diving.

Dragnoite circling the world in 16 hours. Perhaps if it was circling it from the Arctic circle, then yes, but I have a hard time believing that such a fat Pokemon can travel so fast, not to mention the other Pokemon who are able to surpass it in speed.

Well, it obviously doesn't rely solely on its wings (there's NO WAY those wings can support that body mass without some sort of outside/inside help), so whatever method gets it flying most likely contributes to its flight speed.

 

[The Outrage]

That's the anime. In the Colosseums (and, presumably, Battle Revolution...haven't played it), it floats (granted, ALL of the swimming water types mysteriously float, but at least with Wailord it makes sense).

It doesn't make sense if they float on air, not water. Wailord is able to dive in RSE, and it makes absolutely no sense for an aquatic Pokemon to have such difficulty diving.

Besides, just because you're less dense than water doesn't mean you CAN'T go beneath the surface. It just means you're not inclined towards it. Maybe it swallows water in order to go lower, like how people have to wear weights to go deep-sea diving.

Like I've already mentioned, it makes no sense for an ocean dwelling Pokemon to not be inclined to dive into deep waters.

Well, it obviously doesn't rely solely on its wings (there's NO WAY those wings can support that body mass without some sort of outside/inside help), so whatever method gets it flying most likely contributes to its flight speed.

Obviously, and I had taken into account that perhaps its bones are hollow and are filled with something like Helium to help it float, or even hydrogen which can explain its fire-breathing abilities if those gases come from an internal organ.

However, that only goes as far as to explain how it is able to fly, but not how it is able to fly at those speeds.

 

[flaming infernape]

For example, this is an Pokedex entry for Machamp (from FireRed, though I believe I've seen it somewhere else before):
"Its four ruggedly developed arms can launch a flurry of 1,000 punches in just two seconds." Take a moment to think over this one. Try throwing a punch. Sure, Machamp may have four arms, but two seconds?

I heard somewhere that Machamp can supposedly throw something/one over the moon, too.

Ponyta can leap tall buildings in a single bound. It's like the Superman Pokemon.

I think that Blaziken is said to do the same thing in a R/S/E dex entry.

"Aron has a body of steel. With one all-out charge, this pokemon can demolish even a heavy dump truck. The destroyed dump truck then becomes a handy meal for the pokemon." -Aron (obviously)

Usually, something about 1'04" like Aron should be smashed or ran over by a dump truck, not the other way around.