Online Relationships - Your Opinion? [WARNING: Controversial Topic?]

[AshTheManKetchum]

Thanks for sharing Roulette. It really was a thought provoking and intellectually stimulating post.

 

[Kasumi]

TL;DR

Anyway, online relationships DO work if both parties involved are responsible adults who have the will to make things work out IN REAL LIFE. IE meet in person, spend some quality time together, etc. And of course the money.

If I was a crazy jobless teenager I would have never had the opportunity to travel to the other side of the world to visit Archaic and live with him for a period of time to see if the relationship had any chance of going further than just making out on AIM or Skype.

 

[$aturn¥oshi]

TL;DR

Anyway, online relationships DO work if both parties involved are responsible adults who have the will to make things work out IN REAL LIFE. IE meet in person, spend some quality time together, etc. And of course the money.

If I was a crazy jobless teenager I would have never had the opportunity to travel to the other side of the world to visit Archaic and live with him for a period of time to see if the relationship had any chance of going further than just making out on AIM or Skype.

So that's why Skype keeps crashing...

 

[Kasumi]

Hush you.

 

[Satoshi-chan]

TL;DR

Anyway, online relationships DO work if both parties involved are responsible adults who have the will to make things work out IN REAL LIFE. IE meet in person, spend some quality time together, etc. And of course the money.

Indeed, what Kasu said. If both parties are responsible adults who will do whatever it takes to make things happen eventually in real life, an online relationship can work. Two people who have no will or desire to make it work in real life most likely will not succeed, because (in my opinion of course) a relationship needs to have a physical foundation or a promise of one (doesn't have to be sexually, just being able to spend time with each other, talk face to face, etc.).

 

[hurristat]

There is one reason I totally do not endorse dating sites. They use an algorithm. An arbitrary measure of things that work for most people, but it doesn't necessarily work for all people. Also, you can totally lie on those things, and it doesn't know the difference. Even if you are telling the truth, it may not necessarily be the whole truth, since I've seen these things, they expect you to be introspective, and not everyone is that. Also, I believe that not even I can know everything about myself. There are some things about myself that I can't explain. (so I'm supposed to have a professional psychiatric evaluation as well? And not even that may be correct) The truth is, stuff like that isn't entirely reliable, and never will be. If you are talking about sites that don't involve that, of which I will admit I don't know of any, then there is still the chance someone is lying to you. You could say I run the same risk in real life, which you got me there, but I will always be the advocate of just allowing things to happen as they will. I don't think "looking for love" works, I think it just happens, and not when you expect it to.

An algorithm is just directions. For example, this is an algorithm:

1) Take slices of bread
2) Eat.

See! Algorithm.

 

[cb10191]

I believe that online relationships CAN work out, but I do not believe most do, or will. I believe that it is possible to build a relationship to that point on the internet, but very rarely will it manage to work in favor of it being permanent.

~Chris

 

[DCM]

Sure, i think online relationships can work. If you can find someone who shares your interests, and you just click with, then why would i get any say in whether or not you have a relationship? It's none of my business.
Although i can't say i would be open to it. I doubt i could find anyone here who would be able to put up with me for more than a few seconds.

 

[PokieFan09]

I'm rather neutral on the issue. I can see people’s criticism of it, but not all of us take life and our search for a soul mate as seriously as Mooties. Despite what she says, I have seen people pour their heart and soul out online (though sadly never to me). In my mind, relationships are either for the comfort that comes from the other person, sex, or marriage in the long run. While an internet relationship can provide the first, I believe the internet equivalent of the later two aren't fulfilling to the average people. And really the later two are a culmination of the first.

Most of us aren't as rich or mature as Kasumi; we can't actually afford to meet the person in real life. I’m happy that she was able to bring her relationship past just making out on AIM or Skype. Although, I see people like missingno has a solution planned out if he ever wanted to make a relationship serious for some lucky girl.

However, as Neku has pointed out, the long distance aspect of internet relationships can keep those in the relationship constantly working to become closer together (though only up to a point). On the other side of things, people aren’t as selective as Dana and I don’t think they wait to find the right person, but rather just jump into a relationship online (because it’s easier than real life). Indeed, like Chaos, I despise people who brag about their online girlfriends who had spontaneously become a couple earlier. These people need to put things into perspective and realize that there are other people who put more time into their relationships.

I have also seen the dark side of internet relationships in which on party can easily block you on AIM/disable VM/PM and can totally neglect the other person. While you can ignore someone in real life, I think a person in a relationship can get away with much more negligence/abuse. In real life relationships, breaking up by instant message is considered a pussy way out. I'm not sure what the internet equivalent is, but I guess it is breaking up by VM/PM instead of in a live chat.

The comparison to dating sites is interesting. In a way I think forums like Bulbagaren are more natural than dating sites, I mean most stories of people meeting each other are by accident not people going someone to meet a significant other. Still, like ATMK and Rishi pointed out, you can never be quite certain of the other persons intend. In real life, you can read a person’s emotions to see if they consider a relationship seriously, but online that’s never quite possible (is he/she just looking to cyber, to troll you, etc).

I don’t want to be as cynical as most Bulbagarden members. However, while I see Bulbagarden is full of people in relationships with other members, I am constantly hearing these people comments that they totally have to meet in real life some time. In other words, online relationships are never permanent.

 

[ShinyFlareon]

I believe they can work out, if they're the right people. But I had a pretty bad experience with one myself.

I first met him -- let's call him Jou -- in my freshman year of high school, when he reviewed a story a friend of mine and I were writing. They got to talking, she gave me his AIM screen name, and we started talking. We hit it off really well. Near the middle of my sophomore year, I went through a really bad RL break-up. It had been my first relationship, and getting dumped was an entirely new experience for me. I didn't know how to handle it, so I went through a pretty severe bout of depression, even feeling suicidal. Jou was consistently there for me, trying to cheer me up and being a shoulder to cry on when I needed it.

It was there that things started getting...awkward? I'm still not sure how to describe it. About a year after my RL relationship had ended, he finally admitted that he liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I was scared -- it felt like too soon after I had managed to get back to normal -- but I accepted. We were 'together' for two years, but as I live in Southern California and he lived in Ohio, we were never able to meet in RL.

Last February, right after Valentine's Day, Jou just f*cking disappeared. He never got on AIM. Didn't return my phone calls. Wouldn't respond to e-mail. His Facebook page even disappeared after a long spell of inactivity. My imagination went insane with worry, wondering what could have possibly happened to him. It culminated about three weeks later, when I called his phone for the last time and, trying not to cry, left him a message and told him it was over. That got him to respond, via e-mail. He claimed his computer had crashed and he'd been swamped with school, but when I debunked those (you still could have called, it would have taken all of two minutes to leave a message and say you weren't going to be around for a while), he admitted to seeing someone else in RL. I tried to be polite about it -- I even pulled the "I'd still like to be friends..." line. But I haven't spoken with him since.

So yeah. I'm a little cynical about online relationships.

 

[Mudkipz]

It's times like these that I'm glad I know a little spiritual science.

Since love is the emotion caused by the exchange of synchronized waves of individual spiritual energy on the spiritual plane (waves which move through spiritual, rather than physical, space), there's no reason love over the internet would be any less real than love in "real" life.

 

[birdboy2000]

Online relationships fail. So do offline ones. The only difference is the amount of aggravation caused by physical separation and the like. This is because real people, by and large, are incapable and unworthy of love.

The only solution is to date 2-D people.

 

[Ho-oh]

Online relationships fail. So do offline ones. The only difference is the amount of aggravation caused by physical separation and the like. This is because real people, by and large, are incapable and unworthy of love.

The only solution is to date 2-D people.

That has got to be one of the most ignorant comments I've read since the Communist blog.

Explain your reasoning.

 

[PokieFan09]

LOL communist blog.

 

[Insanish Danish]

Online relationships fail. So do offline ones. The only difference is the amount of aggravation caused by physical separation and the like. This is because real people, by and large, are incapable and unworthy of love.

The only solution is to date 2-D people.

Try telling that to the girl who used to be totally cynical about love, who thought it was complete bullshit and made fun of all the girls with boyfriends, and eventually met the love of her life online. i.e., me. :]

 

[PokieFan09]

In retrospect, I still don't think anyone on Bulbagarden has experienced enough of life to call themselve "cynical." Also, I don't think you can be certain someone is the love of your life until you actually have meet them meet them.

 

[DCM]

Try telling that to the girl who used to be totally cynical about love, who thought it was complete bullshit and made fun of all the girls with boyfriends, and eventually met the love of her life online. i.e., me. :]

You are the love of your life?

 

[Insanish Danish]

^ rofl

Yes, that did make me laugh.

 

[PokieFan09]

Certain online relationships make me laugh.

 

[Nekusagi]

Try telling that to the girl who used to be totally cynical about love, who thought it was complete bullshit and made fun of all the girls with boyfriends, and eventually met the love of her life online. i.e., me. :]

This so fucking much.