Whose Line Is It Anyway-style hoedowns

[Missingno. Master]

For those of you who have ever watched "Whose Line is it Anyway?", you probably already have a general idea as to how this game goes. For those of you that don't, I recommend searching for "Whose line hoedown" on YouTube and watching a video or two. Now, here's how it works. I start by posting a topic for the hoedown, then the next four posters each contribute a verse. Whoever posts the fourth verse must also post the topic for the next hoedown, which the next four posters do, and so on.

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Example:
Poster A: OK, we'll start this game with the hoedown hoedown!

Poster B:
I like doing hoedowns, I could do them every day.
I'd like them even more if I had a bit more pay.
This chicken feed I get each week, I just find it wrong.
You couldn't pay me this much to do an Irish drinking song.

Poster C:
I'm no good at hoedowns, I simply cannot rhyme.
With the sole exception of this single time,
But in all reality, I couldn't be a poet,
Unless I am already and I just don't know it.

Poster D:
The hoedown's overrated, and it just takes way too long.
I myself am partial to the Irish drinking song.
Each person does one line, then it's the next guy's turn.
Whoever invented hoedowns, in Hell I wish you'd burn.

Poster E:
When I heard the theme of this, I simply had to frown.
Who wants to hear a hoedown that's about a hoedown?
Why not about toilets, or even Pokémon?
With such topics, I could easily babble on.

Next hoedown is about Irish drinking songs.
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First, a couple rules.

1: Follow all the rules of the game forum.
2: Don't use this game as an excuse to flame others. Lighthearted insults about Drew Carey are acceptable, plus maybe something like what Poster D did in the example.
3: Don't suggest any hoedown themes that would be hard/impossible to pull off without somehow running afoul of the forum rules.

You get the idea, right? OK, the first hoedown will be... the wristwatch hoedown. Take it away!

With a mustache!

 

[DracoMan]

Oh, I just got a wristwatch, but it's a piece of crap
The quartz crystals are frozen, and I just broke the strap
I finally tried to smash it, at just quarter 'till nine
When people looked at me, I told them, "I'm just killing time."

 

[Missingno. Master]

I once had a wristwatch but I had the worst of luck,
It fell off my wrist and got run over by a truck.
So I did the only thing a fellow like me can,
I took that piece of garbage and sold it to DracoMan.

With a mustache.

 

[DracoMan]

So far, this game isn't going anywhere
I guess when it comes to watches, people just don't care
But I'll tell you something, and it is not just sass
If you say "mustache" again, I'm gonna kick you in the ass!

 

[Missingno. Master]

Watches are outdated ever since cell phones told time,
Nobody wants to talk about those things, much less in rhyme.
Admittedly it may have been a poorly made descision,
This hoedown's been as enjoyable as doing long division.

OK, next hoedown is about blogs. The blog hoedown.

With facial hair that adorns the upper lip.

 

[Pidgeot]

Blogs are the modern version of a diary,
Because you talk about your life, like for instance hurting your knee.
I wish everything did not have a moustache,
So that the above user's catchphrase got boring fast.

 

[Missingno. Master]

Blogs are always written about anything at all,
From plans for your vacation, to stuff about baseball.
Everybody writes blogs until their servers crash,
And that catchphrase did not get old, it's funny to say "mustache".

With a mustache.

 

[Pidgeot]

Blogs will probably last until hell freezes over,
Unless you are lucky and can find a four leaf clover.
I think it's time for me to get a catchphrase,
But I probably can't find one till the end of my days.

 

[DracoMan]

For my blog, I thought I might ditch my humor stash
And maybe just complain about Missingno.'s mustache
But I guess it's true that my battles I should pick
'Cause at least I don't have a microscopic [BLEEP].

Okay, next topic will be about...

Dinosaurs. (Just the first thing that popped in there.)

 

[TFSpock]

What the hell are those damn dinosaurs,
That sit around, on the ground, acting like [YOU KNOW.],
If you're that freaking big, ya might want to try
To act like a badass, not a butterfly.

 

[Missingno. Master]

Dinosaurs roamed the earth a real long time ago,
They may have been big shots, but are they still here? No!
If they were so awesome, then why are they all dead?
And DracoMan, I'll just say that's not what your girlfriend said.

With a mustache.

 

[DracoMan]

Dinosaurs were cool, just like in Jurassic Park
And I'd say their bite was a lot worse than their bark
I would love to bring them back, if maybe by a hex
Then I could feed Missingno. Master to the T. Rex.

 

[Missingno. Master]

DracoMan wishes to feed me to a friggin' dinosaur,
I won't deny it, I'm annoyed to my very core.
But let me ask you something, why would you be the boss,
When you're the one I'm gonna drench in gallons of steak sauce?

OK, you're all gonna kill me for this one, but the next hoedown... mustaches! It's time for the mustache hoedown! However, since you all appear to find it truly annoying, I will henceforth discontinue the "with a mustache" post endings.

 

[CrackFox]

I like men with facial hear, they really do look swell
I know a lot of bearded men I can recollect them well
You know your love for a mustached man is really quite bad
When you're sitting watching Twilight and you're hot for Bella's dad.

 

[Missingno. Master]

I am growing a mustache, I just like how those things look,
I want each side of my 'stache to curl up like a hook.
I used to say "with a mustache" after each and every post,
Until the day an earthquake shook up half of the east coast.

 

[DracoMan]

Missingno.'s decided to shut up about his 'stache
For that I am glad, 'cause he was giving me a rash
But now I know things could end up worse than I've feared
'Cause for all I know, he might start talking about his beard.

 

[Missingno. Master]

I'm a human mustache, and I am really hip,
Made up of a lot of hair, I sit above your lip.
I am automatically made of style and grace,
And when you make out with a chick, I'm right up in her face.

Next hoedown is about bacon, that ultimate of all meats.

 

[TFSpock]

So bacon is the meat that the Brixius Baron
Wants me to change my name into he won't stop carin',
"Bacon's fatty?" Bring the OMNOM's what I say,
Don't think it's tasty, in the street go play.

 

[Missingno. Master]

Bacon is the ultimate, it really is quite swell,
If you do not like it, I suggest you go to hell.
I want some bacon, cook it now and make it snappy,
God invented bacon so man would always be happy.

 

[DracoMan]

Boy, do I love bacon; I eat it every day
Except for one time, which was yesterday
Somebody stole all my bacon; it was really scary
But that's what happens when you're dining with Drew Carey.