Whose Line Is It Anyway-style hoedowns

[DracoMan]

Some people go to college and have a lot of fun
They think that toga parties are always number one
But I knew a student who got expelled from class
After he got drunk and showed the chancellor his ass.

 

[Missingno. Master]

Well, I go to college almost every day,
And it's a decent experience I must say.
But on a parking permit I will spend zero bucks,
'cuz the parking at the college, it really, really sucks.

NOW the next hoedown: Diarrhea.

 

[DracoMan]

I ate a bad burrito, I wish it wasn't so
'Cause now it seems like all the time I really need to go
The smell's escaped the bathroom, and my houseplants are dead
The only thing that stinks this badly is this hoedown thread!

 

[Missingno. Master]

Eating all those beans was a really bad idea,
I sat upon the toilet and out came the diarrhea.
And then I thought of something that would make me go to hell,
I switched my brother's spray deodorant with a spray can of that smell.

 

[League]

I get the runs occasion'ly, or as I call them, "quakes"
Such is the price I choose to pay, for ord'ring large milkshake (1)
Hours on the potty, in poor position spent (2)
My legs go stiff, asleep they fall, they become hard to bend. (3)

1--I am somewhat lactose intolerant I think, but I'll hazard milk in small measures.
2--I do spend long amounts of time on the pooper, generally.
3--When doing 2 above, this actually happens. (And it's worse with diarrhea. Oh, and "doing 2" is something of a pun.)

 

[Missingno. Master]

I ordered a taco and I said to make it snappy,
A couple hours later, how I felt was really crappy.
I have sworn off Mexican food, I tell you, that is it,
'Cause my toilet ain't made to contain two tons of liquid ****.


Next hoedown: Those farting sounds you make with your armpit.

 

[League]

I love and hate you--love, for you boosted my thread... hate, for what a stupid and unworkable subject.

I can fart with both my armpits, it's good for one or two kicks
I stick one hand in sweaty pit and scheme to timely let rip
Folks have said it's immature, I've simply never care-uh'd
When she walks by, I shoot and say, "Oh my, I say, Sarah!"

 

[Missingno. Master]

Unworkable? No. Stupid? Perhaps.

I have quite a big regret, I never learned the art,
Of that bit of brilliance we call an armpit fart.
Alas, I have to settle for just doing the real thing,
But at least when I let one rip, it's got a lot of zing.

 

[League]

Snooty folk call me out for making sounds of flatulence
Anon'mously, I call them out, for snooty snotty petulance
What matters it, if with my arms, I make the sounds of farts?
Left-brained am I, imaginative, I have a knack for art.

 

[DracoMan]

We're singing about armpit farts, and boy, is it a pain
For this, enthusiasm is just something I can't feign
Although I know why flatulence is always a big hit
It's because everybody here is always full of [BLEEP].

Okay, next topic...

Lawyers.

 

[Missingno. Master]

A hoedown about lawyers makes me an unhappy dude,
Just the slightest joke, and my ass is getting sued.
I can't afford the legal fees; on cash I'm quite dependent,
And my courtroom manner's awful; I'd make a bad defendant.

 

[DracoMan]

I am in court on trial, and my lawyer's really bad
He's really so incompetent that it just makes me sad
And it wasn't long before my defense he would fudge
Instead of cross-examining, my lawyer mooned the judge!

 

[League]

I'm in the courtroom sweating big, all-o'er something frivolous
Lawyers can be grand good men, but theirs is shoddy bus'ness
I watched two men in court so stirred, so terribly they fought
They clashed so o'er espresso, and how hot was too hot.

 

[Missingno. Master]

A hoedown about lawyers is the worst idea ever,
They'll haul our asses into court if we say something clever.
I would bet my life that lawyers would have a fit,
If we were to call those things inhuman- oh, ****!

The subject of the next hoedown is... cell phones! Go crazy!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Cell phones these days are smarter than my dog
Why, I'm so annoyed, I could just blog
What with their apps and texts and wierd random sounds
I'm driven to the point of having a meltdown

Welp, that's all I got.

 

[League]

Always on a cell phone will you find a kid these days,
I guess t'is more preferable than them inhaling haze.
Such were my feelings rather, before I fully knew,
That in my town, on many phones, were pictures of me nude.

Uh...?

 

[DracoMan]

I hate my cell phone plan; it really is a pain
All these stupid charges are driving me insane
I'm switching to T-Mobile, 'cause my interest they caught
Just because their advertizing spokesgirl's really hot.

 

[Missingno. Master]

I once had a cell phone that was really, really bad,
The ringtones were annoying and the camera was just sad.
Phones like those make people want to switch back to landlines,
Or even want to throw their phone into a field of landmines.

Next hoedown: Halloween. Yes, I'm aware that was yesterday, I don't care.

 

[Fwee~]

Halloween just makes me smile, it's my favorite holiday~
Candy passed out everywhere, children happy and gay!
I may be getting old now, but candy is just too sweet!
I just can't let it go, oh how I love to trick-or-treat~

 

[DracoMan]

I went trick-or-treating and it really turned out bad
Because my costume just made everybody mad
It went just as badly as All Hallow's Evening can
I guess I shouldn't have gone out dressed up like the Ku Klux Klan.