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Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer v4

A man named Tom. There are just a lot of him for some reason.

Why did I get two soft drinks when I only wanted one?
 
Oh, I am pretty sure that is quite normal, good sir.

Waiter, why is there a different thread in my soup?
 
Because hes the literal angelic incarnation of pits.

Did I mean pits in the ground or peach pits?
 
Becuse thier dun.

Why did the small flightless bird attempt to journey across a specific peice of tarmac?
 
It turned green so you were unable to identify it.

Why did I stay up so late two days in a row?
 
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