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Congrats for your son! And I wish you the better on your new life, come back when you're ready.
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Everything in the Bulbagarden is rosy
- Thread starter ii kanji
- Start date
On 15 years at BMGf
ii kanji
A chair for baby bear
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2008
- Messages
- 9,757
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- 11,001
- Thread starter
- #22
I was lying in bed last night thinking about Pokémon blah blah blah when I realised it’s been over 15 years since I joined the forums - that’s half my life!
It made me feel really sad actually to think that such a monumental milestone of what was such an integral part of my inner life just passed me by.
Being a big time extrovert so much of my life is played out ‘on stage’ if you like, with me wearing my outdoors persona like some costume. The layers shed as I go from moving with strangers, to colleagues, to my friends, to my family… But there is a version of me that belongs to just me and pokemon and by extension this forum was such a core outlet for that.
Being a new mum is life changing in so many ways and so all consuming initially that I think losing yourself is really common. At the beginning I could barely go to the toilet alone (in fact I’d often have to put Baby M in the sling and wait till he was asleep strapped to my chest before I could go…) Now I have a bit more headspace and it’s like I’ve opened my eyes and am seeing for the first time that 7 months have passed in which time I have lost my identity outside of being mum.
Bits of it are returning. Wife me came back when we started sleep training and I no longer had to nurse M to sleep and could spend some of the evening with V. Work me will be back when I go back to work. Family me appeared for the first time since M’s birth the weekend just gone when me, V and my sister sat down to play a board game uninterrupted.
But inner me? I dunno. I don’t know what inner me will do if I can’t post about the TRio or obsess over Rocketshipping. I still frequently have my favourite recurrent dream that a new episode aired in which there was unexpected shippiness. I still log in and check the anime subforum for… I don’t know what.
It’s like I haven’t processed the end of the old anime at all. I suppose I never had a chance. I gave birth a day before the final episode in a slightly traumatising fashion, inasmuch as instead of pushing my baby out in a private room and holding him close to settle his first cry, he ended up being delivered by forceps in an operating theatre with a dozen staff and taken away immediately to be resuscitated. The day the last episode aired the paediatricians put a needle into his spine to test for meningitis, trying to find a cause for his sepsis.
Obviously all’s well that ends well and after 6 days we were discharged home and I have a healthy baby. But it has changed me. And I don’t know how to come to terms with the fact that the anime, my coping strategy of so many years, is not there any more to embrace me with a warm hug.
It made me feel really sad actually to think that such a monumental milestone of what was such an integral part of my inner life just passed me by.
Being a big time extrovert so much of my life is played out ‘on stage’ if you like, with me wearing my outdoors persona like some costume. The layers shed as I go from moving with strangers, to colleagues, to my friends, to my family… But there is a version of me that belongs to just me and pokemon and by extension this forum was such a core outlet for that.
Being a new mum is life changing in so many ways and so all consuming initially that I think losing yourself is really common. At the beginning I could barely go to the toilet alone (in fact I’d often have to put Baby M in the sling and wait till he was asleep strapped to my chest before I could go…) Now I have a bit more headspace and it’s like I’ve opened my eyes and am seeing for the first time that 7 months have passed in which time I have lost my identity outside of being mum.
Bits of it are returning. Wife me came back when we started sleep training and I no longer had to nurse M to sleep and could spend some of the evening with V. Work me will be back when I go back to work. Family me appeared for the first time since M’s birth the weekend just gone when me, V and my sister sat down to play a board game uninterrupted.
But inner me? I dunno. I don’t know what inner me will do if I can’t post about the TRio or obsess over Rocketshipping. I still frequently have my favourite recurrent dream that a new episode aired in which there was unexpected shippiness. I still log in and check the anime subforum for… I don’t know what.
It’s like I haven’t processed the end of the old anime at all. I suppose I never had a chance. I gave birth a day before the final episode in a slightly traumatising fashion, inasmuch as instead of pushing my baby out in a private room and holding him close to settle his first cry, he ended up being delivered by forceps in an operating theatre with a dozen staff and taken away immediately to be resuscitated. The day the last episode aired the paediatricians put a needle into his spine to test for meningitis, trying to find a cause for his sepsis.
Obviously all’s well that ends well and after 6 days we were discharged home and I have a healthy baby. But it has changed me. And I don’t know how to come to terms with the fact that the anime, my coping strategy of so many years, is not there any more to embrace me with a warm hug.
- Joined
- May 13, 2014
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It's so good to hear from you! Nice to hear the baby is growing well.
Maybe you should try doing a rewatch of the full anime? Even if you know what happens you could find new RocketShipping moments and it could be a way to process your nostalgia.
Maybe you should try doing a rewatch of the full anime? Even if you know what happens you could find new RocketShipping moments and it could be a way to process your nostalgia.
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