\(T)/ (‘~’) (o_o)

[Neyo]

Why I adore Hollow Knight (a weird review).
Hollow Knight is an indie metroidvania/action platformer. You play as the Knight (separate from the title) and explore a beautiful and grotesque dying kingdom of bugs. It good. It very good. I will be covering it's weaknesses in this review as well, which I haven't rally been doing.

Gameplay: A 2D plane is that which you operate on. You can swing your nail in 4 directions, and have a lot of control over your character. You collect a variety of spells and abilities as you travel. Furthermore, there is a customization aspect in combat due to the charms system. You get an amount of notches. By exploring or purchasing charms, you can change your combat or passive abilities, such as making spells deal more damage or collecting money for you without having to pick it up.

World: It's absolutely huge. 12 very large segments of the world to explore, each with distinct enemies, music, colors, and environmental structuring. There are tons of secrets throughout the kingdom, some of them very secret. You can collect separate maps of the world, but you need to find the map guy in the area first, which requires you to know how to navigate, and develop a mental map of the area first.

Bosses/Enemies: The enemies are absolutely well designed, and reflect on the lore of a given area. The bosses, though, are awesome. There are 50-odd bosses in the game, each with distinct attacks and designs, and some get more difficult remixes later in the game. (NKG and PV are my personal favorites, incredibly difficult but also super fun).

Art style: Pretty simple, but elegant. It was hand drawn, and scanned directly into the engine. It's very consistent throughout the game, and fun to look at.

Community: Nearly everyone is welcoming and positive. The fanart and comics are really cool. The content creators are entertaining. The memes are funny.

Spoiler

DO NOT GO INTO THE R34 COMMUNITY. IT'S ACTUALLY SCARY.

Characters: They all are fun, quirky, and pretty funny. For such a dark depressing game, it's not super sad. Well, the big 3 do die, but 2/3rds do it on their own terms.

Story: Stop the infection. That's it, but characters have little mini-arcs as you travel the land. I'm not going to spoil anything.

Lore: Really deep, it's awesome.

On top of it all, the game was made by about 4 people. Absolutely amazing.

Weaknesses: Wait a minute, it doesn't have any. The only issue is due to it's size, people may get burned out, but that's a lot less of a game design problem than a person one.

10/10 shmekels

 

[Neyo]

Foreword by Alexandra Jennings

Mr. Westhouse writes of our Forefather with such wit, accuracy, and faithfulness that it is hard to comprehend the work that must have gone into this biography, which is surely his magnum opus. This biography of The One Who Brought Light is a shining beacon for those who wish to learn more of His Glory. As such, the Department of the Interior places this book on a mandatory reading list for all citizens of The North American Republic, and the biography is freely distributed at all government facilities. It has become the number one read, distributed, and quoted book of all time. As such, we shall commence, and let His Majesty teach us through these writings. Welcome.

[to be cont.]

 

[Neyo]

Ch. 1; Youth

Philip Wreathings, Our Forefather, was born on April 23rd, 2043 into a standard household for America at the time. His mother was his primary caregiver, and his father an electrician. It is unknown where He was born, but most historians agree on Sol, Michigan as His childhood town. Young Philip was a prodigal child, demonstrating adept skills at navigating society, as well as an intellectual genius. He idolized the writings of the philosopher Hobbes, and wrote several treatises on the concept of societal duties by the age of 17. He entered several philosophy groups and debates, but was frequently frustrated by the lack of a greater view that His acquaintances had. After graduating high school, He would focus on attaining a political career, where His ascent would be attained.

[To be cont.]

 

[Neyo]

It's mildly irritating you can't write subscripts or indent easily on these forums. On another note, you can get a helmet that looks like the Burger King mascot's head in Elden Ring, which is funny.

 

[Neyo]

Ch. 2; Rising

The Forefather was first elected to presidential office at age 35, with an overwhelming majority of votes cast in His favor. During his time in office, He made several large alterations to His government, due to His party having a majority in both the courts and legislature. Firstly, He removed the term limit, allowing Him to stay in office indefinitely, a universal improvement to the government. Furthermore, The Light Bringer outlawed the existence of any political part opposing the ideals of the one in power. Finally, He invested heavily in military technology. The following advancements allowed The Glorious One to conquer nearby territories bordering the formerly named United States of America, now named the North American Republic, recognizing its dominion over the entirety of North America and how it ruled what was best for the people.
Several departments created during this time period were: The Department of Interior Security, The Department of Communications, The Department of Continental Affairs, and The Department of Electoral Security. All of them had unique roles, and are a key aspect of the current government. Furthermore, He Who Is Serene shifted or disbanded several departments that were not helping the North American Republic's economy, such as The Department of the Interior, which was moved away from natural resource management to public control. His tenure was grand, but a horrible tragedy befell Him...

[To be cont.]

 

[Neyo]

Ch. 3; Ascendance

On August 22, 2099, just shy of His day of birth, a demonic, cruel creature rose from the earth, and ended His reign in fire. The name of this creature was destroyed, forever forgotten and reviled. After a week of mourning, the government started a bloody, righteous campaign to terminate all insurgents. Several million were killed, and the government had damning evidence that they were guilty of collusion with the unnamed assailant. In His honor, the week of His death and birth are set aside as a government and public holiday.
After the Forefather's death, the Church of Wreathings was created, and dedicates itself to the worship of The Light Bringer. It has, by official government data, over 900,000,000 members (roughly half of the total N.A.R population).
Several notable and a large number of unnotable historians, scientists, and journalists have dedicated their lives to His life. In fact, the oath that one swears when you enter those professions (and several others, such as those involved in law or politics) includes "undying loyalty to Philip Wreathings, the government, and the national identity of the North American Republic".
It is also notable that, directly after the Forefather's death, nearly every nation on the face of the planet declared a simultaneous war upon the N.A.R., hoping to strike an underhanded blow while the government was in shock. However, with military technology the government had kept secret for ages, a first-strike defense was achieved, and now any opposing nations or forces are vaporized, gratitude of the neutron bomb.
Thus was the life of He Who Brought Light, Philip Wreathings. A deity among men, who universally improved all life, and whose memory shall be forever entrenched into the N.A.R., never forgotten and forever cherished.

[Fin.]

 

[Neyo]

Minor gripes with Elden Ring:
The overworld is beautiful, but with Torrent, the horse you get, you can kind of run past everything. This is much less of an issue in areas without horse riding available, letting the artful game design shine through.

Intelligence builds (basically using magic) apparently got very little polish compared to faith ones (I don't even know how to describe them). The difference? If you had to choose between shooting purple colored rocks at enemies vs. turning your arm into a dragon head and shooting rotting, poisonous breath at enemies, what would you choose? They're roughly equal in power, but one is a lot cooler than the other.

Dog AI and how you encounter them makes them easily the most annoying enemy in game. They stagger you so easily, often leave poison, and come in twos or threes. Really makes me wish I bothered to do something than invest completely in strength.

There are crabs everywhere. This isn't even a complaint, just weird.

Dungeons (which are optional things for loot) are weird. They feel unnecessary, and the enemy health is weirdly high.

Still a wonderful game, but some small gripes I have.

 

[Neyo]

When Jimmy entered his math classroom for the first time that school year, he was quite nervous. He had no friends, and didn't know anybody. As the teacher finished his introductions, he started on the lesson. After what felt like 5 hours, Jimmy began to feel quite tired. Eventually, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he looked at the clock. It had still been only 30 minutes since class started, apparently. He shrugged, thinking the clock must be broken. But there was a sense of wrongness about the whole environment that worried him. He started counting, 1...2...3...

After what felt like several hours later, he reached 216,000. That meant the class should be over, right? He desperately glanced at the clock. 35 minutes?! He glanced at the class. Everyone seemed the same, somewhat bored, but uninterested in the time. Jimmy silently panicked. Was he going insane? Or was he just overheated? He raised his hand.

"Yes?", the teacher asked, a light British accent dusting his syntax.

"Erm...how long has it been since class started?" ,Jimmy felt nervous.

The teacher glanced at the clock on the wall. "Why, only 37 minutes!", he laughed.

Jimmy sank down in his chair. This was going to be a long class.

...15 minutes later...

Jimmy's hands were inflicted by worrisome arthritis, but they could write easily enough, so long as one didn't mind the gradual pain and stiffness. He had finally finished the equation which determined the rate of decay of time passing. He reflected on his life. All the others were dead, leaving the classroom empty. There were no windows to break through, nor a door that wasn't locked to escape out of. A lifetime, trapped in a box. Fortunately, his bodily processes seemed to have paused, or else he would have died a long time ago. He glanced at the clock, to make sure his calculations were correct, running them through his head.

They weren't.

Jimmy was suddenly filled with interminable and boiling anger. This clock had started all this. He reached up, pulled the clock off the wall, and, ignoring the pain to his knee and hands, broke it.

A sudden shift. Something was different. The classroom was silent. The teacher gasped, "My boy, what did you just do?". Jimmy looked around. Everything was as it started. He glanced at the clock in his hands the broken hands indicated only 40 minutes had passed since class began. Jimmy collapsed, and began sobbing.

 

[Neyo]

Screw Rose from Where the Water Tastes Like Wine, all my homies hate Rose.

 

[Neyo]

Okay, to elucidate my thoughts above from yesterday:

• Rose is a 1960s-70s hippie living in the 1920s Incredibly asynchronous, and just annoying.
• Her struggle is that her life is empty now, so she's roaming the country. That is...not much compared to the stories of other characters. For example, Althea. An incredibly skilled African American singer lured into signing a contract that would curse her. Althea even has songs in the game's soundtrack about her struggle, and it's awesome to see how much depth and care was put into her story. The songs slap, too.
• Also, Rose's backstory has no tragedy to it. She used to live in a hippie community where she got high a lot. That's it. It doesn't apparently have any effects on her personal life or anything. Just a quirky backstory.
• Additionally (and I'm just realizing this now) every character gets one or two (or three in Althea's case) songs. Most don't have vocals, except for Ray and Althea. Rose's song "Rainbow on Wheels", sucks. It sounds terrible, and goes nowhere. Also, it uses an electric guitar/synth thing, which is again, asynchronous. Super annoying, especially for a game that prides itself on immersion in its stories.
• Spoiler: If you haven't played the game, you may want to skip over this bit

  Rose's final form is a bunch of roses. What the heck is that supposed to mean? Her name is Rose? She did drugs at one point? In comparison, Little Ben's (a former union-organizing miner) is a huddled mass of miners, hidden in darkness. It has symbolic meaning, and you could probably determine some of his character's backstory or identity from it. Rose does not have this. If I gave you a picture of a bunch of roses, you probably wouldn't be able to determine any character facets from it.

In summary, Screw Rose from Where the Water Tastes Like Wine, all my homies hate Rose.

 

[Neyo]

Any posts this week will be unplanned. Taking a break for this week.

 

[Neyo]

Any suggestions for stories from anyone are welcome. (Just be warned that I rarely write for more than an hour before posting, unless its an expanded thing I'm planning, like that fictional biography)

 

[Neyo]

To me it seems that you like to write more darker stories, so I think writing a more fluffier/happier one might be interesting?????

Yeah, I should start doing that. I naturally default to more serious and dark stories, so it would be good for me to shift into a lighter tone at least once in a while. I really need to start writing that Hooty and Steven Stone fanfic.

 

[Neyo]

Poké Pelago is awesome. It is a big part of why I like the Alola games. Here's why I like it.

It gives your boxed Pokémon something to do: If you're the kind of person who dislikes catching Pokémon and just boxing them, you don't feel that much guilt from it, because they get to go to a tropical island where they hang out with other Pokémon and go on caving expeditions and such. Fun, with no ambiguous moral implications.

Caving expeditions: Send in your Pokémon into a cave where they can explore for a while, and you get loot in return. And good loot, too, like Nuggets and evolution stones.

EV training: Select some Pokémon that you want to invest specific EVs into, and select the time you want them to go in for, and then grab them when it's over. Good for if you want to train some fighters, and do something else in the meanwhile.

Farming: You can farm a ton of berries at once in this game with Poké Pelago. Roughly 36 bushes (2-4 berries) at once, if I remember correctly. This is a vast improvement from Gen 6, where berry bushes were scattered throughout the region and you had to run all over it to get them. That was frustrating, but here it's all in one place, so you can access it quickly and efficiently.

The bean collecting island is okay. It gets the job done for what it does. Essentially, you shake a giant beanstalk to get beans, which are currency to upgrade and unlock islands, feed your Pokémon to raise their affection, and halve the time it takes to finish the tasks of caving, farming, and training. You get a bunch of beans, so you're never really going to run out, realistically. Nothing against it, nothing for it. You can hang out with the Pokémon on the island, which are the ones in your boxes, giving them bit more personality then mindless animals you shove in a box.

Also, side note, the way you unlock the islands and upgrade them goes along nicely with a playthrough of the game. You can invest in berry planting and bean growing midgame, and cave diving if you really need it, and then invest in training when you've arrived at the Battle Tree. It scales quite nicely.

Now to talk about its sole weakness, that's also completely optional. On the bean island, occasionally wild Pokémon will pop up, and may join your party. It's completely pointless, and annoying. The variety of Pokémon is very low, so you're just seeing the same 6-7 ones pop up. It completely loses its spark after 2-3 visits. And if you actually want the Pokémon present, then it's just random chance whether or not they stay. It's a mechanic that, while making the world feel a bit more alive and less self-contained, isn't really that great in practice over time.

Some comments:
Mohn (the guy in charge of Poké Pelago) has some neat lore, and is just a pretty chill dude.
The Pelago uses both box sprites and in-battle models. So it's really funny to see Lunala with flavor text saying it's watering berries.

 

[Neyo]

Pig has absolutely no right to be so good. It stars Nicholas Cage as a truffle hunter who wants to find his pig after it gets stolen. It has some of the most tense table scenes I've ever seen. There's a National Treasure reference. The cinematography is precise. It mocks Seattle. This has something for everyone.
There isn't really anywhere to start in a clinical fashion, as I normally do, since a lot of the stuff is all tied together. So...I'll probably just tie everything together in a messy paragraph.
The ending is very emotional. It's among the few movies that have brought tears to me. This is held up by the acting of everyone involved. Nicholas Cage does a pretty good job, but all of the supporting actors do really well. Mostly. Each character has clear motivations and you can see a piece of their psyche. The way food is analyzed, as well as the way character's backstories are shown through them, is artful.
The only thing truly lacking is the soundtrack, in my opinion. The ending song is good, but the sparseness of the soundtrack as a whole is frustrating, as a leitmotif established in the beginning could easily bring more emotions to the more emotional scenes (which are already quite good).
Overall, this is 9/10 shmekels, which could be improved with a leitmotif.

 

[Neyo]

This video boils my blood.
Controversial Pokemon Tier Lists
Excellent video.

 

[Neyo]

Steven Stone sipped his coffee, noting with good humor that he was slowly developing a resistance towards its effects. Those late nights at the mining site were taking their toll. He was signaling to the bartender to get him another cup, when he heard a strangely high-pitched Southern accent calling him.
"Why not try some of this homegrown tea?", the voice said.
Steven turned around, searching for the location of the voice. His eyes landed on the far corner of the tavern, mostly blanketed in shadow. As his eyes adjusted, he was...mostly confused by what he saw. A strange, worm-shaped creature was slowly pushing its way through stacks of cups, each several feet high. Furthermore, the worm in question was covered in soft down and had a short, stubby beak...was this an owl? The creature slowly slunk along the floor, up to Steven's chair.
For the first time in his life, Steven felt pure, concentrated fear. What was this creature? His hand reached to his belt, where he had a Pokéball where his Metagross was contained. But the creature was too close. It could easily kill him if he made a poor move.
"Hi, I'm Hooty! Want some tea?"

A grand adventure was to begin.

 

[Welkamo]

Steven Stone sipped his coffee, noting with good humor that he was slowly developing a resistance towards its effects. Those late nights at the mining site were taking their toll. He was signaling to the bartender to get him another cup, when he heard a strangely high-pitched Southern accent calling him.
"Why not try some of this homegrown tea?", the voice said.
Steven turned around, searching for the location of the voice. His eyes landed on the far corner of the tavern, mostly blanketed in shadow. As his eyes adjusted, he was...mostly confused by what he saw. A strange, worm-shaped creature was slowly pushing its way through stacks of cups, each several feet high. Furthermore, the worm in question was covered in soft down and had a short, stubby beak...was this an owl? The creature slowly slunk along the floor, up to Steven's chair.
For the first time in his life, Steven felt pure, concentrated fear. What was this creature? His hand reached to his belt, where he had a Pokéball where his Metagross was contained. But the creature was too close. It could easily kill him if he made a poor move.
"Hi, I'm Hooty! Want some tea?"

A grand adventure was to begin.

You did it. You actually did it. You did it, and you did it well. Holy hematite this is the good stuff.

 

[Neyo]

You did it. You actually did it. You did it, and you did it well. Holy hematite this is the good stuff.

Thanks for the compliments! I do plan on continuing this for a bit, and I’m afraid that it may actually be one of my better short stories that I’ve written.

Also, thanks to Takoyaki for the support.

 

[Neyo]

Realized I hadn't written anything today, so, uh, the band Les Friction is mediocre overall, except for one or two songs that are pretty good, IMO. I may expand on this later. Sweet dreams.